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Thursday, March 1, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
1) I'm a 31, soon to be divorced, bisexual female. I've had three male partners in my life and two female.
2) I've "messed around" with more people of both genders, but never had sex with them. I do not have sex if I don't feel anything for someone. It might sound cliched, but physical intimacy stems from emotional. One can't exist without the other.
3) Of all the partners I've had, only one male has made me orgasm. Before him, I was beginning to think I might actually be a lesbian with how underwhelming penises had been for me.
4) I like cum. With the exception of a facial, it's sexy when my boyfriend comes inside me, and it wouldn't bother me if if he came on my tummy or chest.
5) I don't like a man going down on me. I've never had a man do it right, it grosses me out a little, and it's a very vulnerable position to be in. With that said, I am curious about whether my boyfriend would be good at it. He doesn't enjoy performing oral on a woman either, but with all the ways he's pleased me, it's sort of something in the back of my mind.
6) While I identify with being bisexual and really had my doubts about enjoying men, I've always been more attracted to them. I'm extremely attracted to women, but I don't believe I could ever be with one in the long term. The men and women I'm attracted to are, with very little wiggle room, brunettes and usually alternative or nerdy looking. The men need to be over 6 feet tall and the woman cannot be fake looking. I definitely prefer caucasians over any other race.
7) I love giving oral sex and hand jobs. It's sexy, it makes me feel in control, and it gets me incredibly wet. I love hearing my partner being pleased, watching his body move, and the feel of his cock in my mouth.
8) I love a circumcised penis. I'm turned off when it's not, when it's veiny, odd colored, or if it's crooked.
9) I think about sex many, many times daily. I would have sex several times a day if I could. You could describe me as a female pig, if we're giving labels.
10) I've had more sex with my boyfriend than I have ever had with anyone else. I actually crave him inside of me, and the thought of his hands on my skin makes me immediately wet. I'm attracted to him in a way I didn't think possible and I literally want him ALL THE TIME. He's literally the best man I've ever met, who unfailingly makes me feel happy and beautiful, and the connection I have to him feels like nothing short of fate. I've wondered if I'd have met him if I hadn't taken the paths I have taken, or what it would have been like if I'd met him earlier in my life. I am pretty sure life would have brought us together somehow, and it might be cool to have seen how. I'm truly the luckiest woman ever, and I now know what the meaning of love is.
11) I don't like anal sex. I've tried it three times and it felt awful. It was like having a bowel movement and didn't turn me on at all. I'd be open to trying it again with my boyfriend if he asked, as I think it would be a very different experience with him, but it's not something I'm ever going to push for.
12) I like to be tied up, my hair pulled a little, being thrown down on the bed, being pushed up against a wall and spanked. I'm even into having a little warm wax poured onto me. A little dominance is very, very sexy to me.
13) I've been both molested and raped in my lifetime. One of my earliest memories is of being in my mother's car after her boyfriend had molested me that afternoon and thinking that I was never going to be the same (strange what you realize as a kid)--that I was dirty and evil. I believe that because of this, I've always (until very recently) had serious control and space issues. I don't like knowing I was used and thrown away, with little regard for my feelings. I have built walls around me making sure I'm never used again (sexually or otherwise). If ever I am in a situation where I feel as though I'm being used, I get angry and I slowly shut myself off emotionally until there is nothing left. I've been told I was cold and I felt "dead" to my ex-husband. I felt guilty about that for a while, but now I feel like he brought it on himself. He made me slam that door shut, and once it's closed, it's never opened again. I've got a lot of regret rolled up with that man, and I am embarrassed that I allowed anyone to treat me as he did. I deserved better, and I should have taken control of that situation way sooner.
14) I don't count the man who raped me or the man who molested me (even though in the latter case there was no penetration) as sexual partners. They were not consensual, so I refuse to acknowledge them in this way.
15) I love it when someone talks dirty to me. I love hearing how my pussy feels and how hard you are over me.
16) I love both being fucked hard and deep penetration. The feeling of cock being rammed into me makes me orgasm very easily.
17) I love to masturbate. I started when I was around 11 and haven't stopped. This was the only really good thing about maturing early, as my hormones kicked in. I've actually skipped out of school to stay home and masturbate all day, and there have been times, even when I was older, that I have masturbated 5 times a day (with several orgasms each session).
18) I like to watch some porn. I say this loosely, because I have very specific things I want to see and don't want to see when I view pornography. I'm a realist when it comes to porn (like I am in most aspects of my life) and therefore find 90% of mainstream porn to be a turnoff for me. I don't want to see "perfect" looking women performing in impossible positions, in completely fabricated scenarios and making faces over getting fucked like a jack rabbit. It's not sexy and actually quite ridiculous. I'm also truly saddened by the fact that I've read numerous articles on these women and how they don't appear to be drunk or high while performing, but that they usually are and it's because of what is expected of them (position-wise, certain sex acts, etc.) and that most don't even enjoy what they're doing or orgasm from it. Morally, it bothers me to watch this type of "circus side show," and sometimes I wonder how others can look past it and inject themselves into the fantasy they see on the screen. Honestly, I don't judge anyone who does like mainstream porn, I just prefer the Dane Jones type of porn. It looks like things you'd actually do, with real looking but not whorish women. I don't need to see anal, facials, or a woman gagging on some dude's cock. It even appears as though both parties are enjoying it. It might all be another illusion, but at least it's one I can enjoy.
19) For me, masturbating and watching porn is COMPLETELY separate from my relationship (at least my current one) and sex life. It's got no bearing on his attractiveness, the type of sex we're having, etc. It's called "me time" for a reason- it's about getting me off, nothing more. In the past I absolutely used it as a tool to avoid sexual contact with my significant other, but I've never done that before or since.
20) My favorite way to have sex is with him on top and my legs up. It allows for deep penetration and he can be a bit more forceful without hitting my cervix.
21) I love having my nipples pinched lightly.
22) I want to watch my boyfriend masturbate. I'd like to see him stroke himself and watch him orgasm. Truthfully, though, he might not get to finish, because watching him touch himself would make me want to have him bend me over and rail me.
23) I very rarely use my fingers inside myself, but I love having fingers inside me. I also don't mind how I taste.
24) I have a shaved pussy and prefer it that way.
25) I'm happy I did this list. I learned that this list could be twice as long for me and that it's really liberating to put some of my sexuality out there.
2) I've "messed around" with more people of both genders, but never had sex with them. I do not have sex if I don't feel anything for someone. It might sound cliched, but physical intimacy stems from emotional. One can't exist without the other.
3) Of all the partners I've had, only one male has made me orgasm. Before him, I was beginning to think I might actually be a lesbian with how underwhelming penises had been for me.
4) I like cum. With the exception of a facial, it's sexy when my boyfriend comes inside me, and it wouldn't bother me if if he came on my tummy or chest.
5) I don't like a man going down on me. I've never had a man do it right, it grosses me out a little, and it's a very vulnerable position to be in. With that said, I am curious about whether my boyfriend would be good at it. He doesn't enjoy performing oral on a woman either, but with all the ways he's pleased me, it's sort of something in the back of my mind.
6) While I identify with being bisexual and really had my doubts about enjoying men, I've always been more attracted to them. I'm extremely attracted to women, but I don't believe I could ever be with one in the long term. The men and women I'm attracted to are, with very little wiggle room, brunettes and usually alternative or nerdy looking. The men need to be over 6 feet tall and the woman cannot be fake looking. I definitely prefer caucasians over any other race.
7) I love giving oral sex and hand jobs. It's sexy, it makes me feel in control, and it gets me incredibly wet. I love hearing my partner being pleased, watching his body move, and the feel of his cock in my mouth.
8) I love a circumcised penis. I'm turned off when it's not, when it's veiny, odd colored, or if it's crooked.
9) I think about sex many, many times daily. I would have sex several times a day if I could. You could describe me as a female pig, if we're giving labels.
10) I've had more sex with my boyfriend than I have ever had with anyone else. I actually crave him inside of me, and the thought of his hands on my skin makes me immediately wet. I'm attracted to him in a way I didn't think possible and I literally want him ALL THE TIME. He's literally the best man I've ever met, who unfailingly makes me feel happy and beautiful, and the connection I have to him feels like nothing short of fate. I've wondered if I'd have met him if I hadn't taken the paths I have taken, or what it would have been like if I'd met him earlier in my life. I am pretty sure life would have brought us together somehow, and it might be cool to have seen how. I'm truly the luckiest woman ever, and I now know what the meaning of love is.
11) I don't like anal sex. I've tried it three times and it felt awful. It was like having a bowel movement and didn't turn me on at all. I'd be open to trying it again with my boyfriend if he asked, as I think it would be a very different experience with him, but it's not something I'm ever going to push for.
12) I like to be tied up, my hair pulled a little, being thrown down on the bed, being pushed up against a wall and spanked. I'm even into having a little warm wax poured onto me. A little dominance is very, very sexy to me.
13) I've been both molested and raped in my lifetime. One of my earliest memories is of being in my mother's car after her boyfriend had molested me that afternoon and thinking that I was never going to be the same (strange what you realize as a kid)--that I was dirty and evil. I believe that because of this, I've always (until very recently) had serious control and space issues. I don't like knowing I was used and thrown away, with little regard for my feelings. I have built walls around me making sure I'm never used again (sexually or otherwise). If ever I am in a situation where I feel as though I'm being used, I get angry and I slowly shut myself off emotionally until there is nothing left. I've been told I was cold and I felt "dead" to my ex-husband. I felt guilty about that for a while, but now I feel like he brought it on himself. He made me slam that door shut, and once it's closed, it's never opened again. I've got a lot of regret rolled up with that man, and I am embarrassed that I allowed anyone to treat me as he did. I deserved better, and I should have taken control of that situation way sooner.
14) I don't count the man who raped me or the man who molested me (even though in the latter case there was no penetration) as sexual partners. They were not consensual, so I refuse to acknowledge them in this way.
15) I love it when someone talks dirty to me. I love hearing how my pussy feels and how hard you are over me.
16) I love both being fucked hard and deep penetration. The feeling of cock being rammed into me makes me orgasm very easily.
17) I love to masturbate. I started when I was around 11 and haven't stopped. This was the only really good thing about maturing early, as my hormones kicked in. I've actually skipped out of school to stay home and masturbate all day, and there have been times, even when I was older, that I have masturbated 5 times a day (with several orgasms each session).
18) I like to watch some porn. I say this loosely, because I have very specific things I want to see and don't want to see when I view pornography. I'm a realist when it comes to porn (like I am in most aspects of my life) and therefore find 90% of mainstream porn to be a turnoff for me. I don't want to see "perfect" looking women performing in impossible positions, in completely fabricated scenarios and making faces over getting fucked like a jack rabbit. It's not sexy and actually quite ridiculous. I'm also truly saddened by the fact that I've read numerous articles on these women and how they don't appear to be drunk or high while performing, but that they usually are and it's because of what is expected of them (position-wise, certain sex acts, etc.) and that most don't even enjoy what they're doing or orgasm from it. Morally, it bothers me to watch this type of "circus side show," and sometimes I wonder how others can look past it and inject themselves into the fantasy they see on the screen. Honestly, I don't judge anyone who does like mainstream porn, I just prefer the Dane Jones type of porn. It looks like things you'd actually do, with real looking but not whorish women. I don't need to see anal, facials, or a woman gagging on some dude's cock. It even appears as though both parties are enjoying it. It might all be another illusion, but at least it's one I can enjoy.
19) For me, masturbating and watching porn is COMPLETELY separate from my relationship (at least my current one) and sex life. It's got no bearing on his attractiveness, the type of sex we're having, etc. It's called "me time" for a reason- it's about getting me off, nothing more. In the past I absolutely used it as a tool to avoid sexual contact with my significant other, but I've never done that before or since.
20) My favorite way to have sex is with him on top and my legs up. It allows for deep penetration and he can be a bit more forceful without hitting my cervix.
21) I love having my nipples pinched lightly.
22) I want to watch my boyfriend masturbate. I'd like to see him stroke himself and watch him orgasm. Truthfully, though, he might not get to finish, because watching him touch himself would make me want to have him bend me over and rail me.
23) I very rarely use my fingers inside myself, but I love having fingers inside me. I also don't mind how I taste.
24) I have a shaved pussy and prefer it that way.
25) I'm happy I did this list. I learned that this list could be twice as long for me and that it's really liberating to put some of my sexuality out there.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
1. I'm 25 years old and identify as female, and bisexual - in the general sense.
2. Women are undeniably sexy to me. Of course, this is on a woman-to-woman basis, but certainly the physical attributes of the female sex are quite appealing.
3. I feel that I am more likely to "end up" with a woman than a man. I connect very differently with the two sexes/genders (assuming sex-gender fluidity), and it takes quite a bit longer for serious interest to grow with males. It's much easier for me to become emotionally involved with women.
4. I have very short hair, almost none at all - I shave it about every month or so. I also have quite feminine facial features, so I'm certainly not in the least bit androgynous. I'm black, a sub-Saharan African expatriate in the States. Strangely, there are very few men who are turned off by my lack of hair. For most, it seems to indicate a wildness and exoticism. I certainly, when looking at my body, see the appeal, but I personally don't understand how men and women alike exhibit such primal attraction to me. It is quite often that people compliment my body and facial features. I feel that though I have quite a colorful imagination and libido, bodies don't excite me as much as a quick mind, awesome aura, peculiar face and intriguing personality.
5. I'm frequently worried about being fetishized as a "strong black woman." I think some people certainly take a look and want to get involved specifically because of exotic fantasies regarding black women... the short hair is an added bonus, I'm guessing, to boning the African chick. It's strange that I have this worry, since I'm perfectly attractive. I'm sure it has quite a bit to do with some self-image issues I had in my teens - issues not quite exorcised.
6. I've slept with quite a few people, for my age. Over 15... 20? I don't really know. I also don't just sleep with anyone--I'm quite picky and tend to establish friends-with-benefits relationships.
7. I've frequently used sexual activity as a form of "breaking the ice." It's quite lazy of me and arguably not the healthiest of ways to engage in sex.
8. Men older than myself, those with noticeable crows' feet when they smile with their eyes, are an incredible turn-on. I once hooked up with a 31-year-old man when I had just turned 18--it was quite a rush.
9. I had difficulty doing well in a molecular biology course because I was constantly fantasizing about my 50-something-year old biology professor. I literally heard "blah blah blah," as any sound became background noise when making eye-contact with him.
10. Women are so complicated to me. I'm certainly intimidated by women, and often take my time with initiating sexual interest.
11. The runner's body is quite literally my kryptonite. Lean, thin frame and thighs of steel - irresistible!
12. Despite #4, I've only probably slept with 2 or 3 men who didn't have flat, hard, well-defined abdominals--I'm quite picky and it's a make-it-or-break-it sort of thing. Though personality tends to exceed even this basic standard.
13. I've only kissed one black man. Some find it quite odd, but I find that I'm simply a product of my environment. I'm not unattracted to black men, but those I am attracted to are in short supply and quite widely dispersed, such that it's not worth my time and not of any interest to me to limit myself to only those of my skin color.
14. I'm not really a masturbator. I probably masturbated 3 or 4 times in the year 2011, and probably experienced orgasms 2 of those 3 or 4 times.
15. However, I did masturbate frequently and daily throughout my years in high school. I was also somewhat of a porn addict, and watched porn daily. I'm quite the opposite now and I'm quite over both. Also quite sure I broke my hymen during masturbation. Currently, I use masturbation as a sleep aid of sorts.
16. I enjoy watching lesbian porn. By enjoy, I mean that it's the only porn I ever watch. I'm also not much of a porn aficionado--less than once a month and up to 4- to 5-month stretches without. I never really use porn for masturbatory material. It's fascinating.
17. I enjoy touching my skin, playing with my breasts, caressing my buttocks. I'm quite self-aroused. Which strangely contradicts the serious lack of masturbation in my life.
18. I enjoy watching men I've slept with masturbate next to me. The position of the permitted voyeur is quite sexually gratifying.
19. There are some beautiful and candid images I took of my ex-boyfriend before and after sex. He's a bit nervous that I may disseminate them on the interwebz in a fit of anger or bitterness, but I have no intention to do so. I almost never look at them, but when I do, his beauty reaffirms my belief in the awesome beauty of the human form.
20. I lost my virginity shortly after turning 19. Got quite a lot of work done between then and now. And to a guy I thought was a fool, specifically to lessen the chance of post-coital emotional attachment. It worked.
21. It's difficult for me to experience/engage in emotional sex, even when I've become quite enamored of someone. Well, it's much easier with women, but it takes over a month to two of consistent sex for it to become emotionally fulfilling and enriching. I'm certainly saddened by this disjuncture between simultaneous experience of sexual and emotional fulfillment. It certainly provides emotional protection with my flings, yet is a veritable obstruction at the advent of growing emotional connections.
22. I rarely used to have sexual fantasies in my late teens, but certainly within the past few months, I fantasize frequently--usually about no one in particular.
23. I've had a few threesomes. I enjoy them. I would like to continue having them. However, I'm well versed in the veritable role they can play in warping/fucking up relationships.
24. I have trichotillomania and pluck pubic hairs. It's very much a private thing, so it follows that I am often a bit nervous with my first below-the-belt sexual encounters with people. However, it's never been an issue, and it's not thoroughly noticeable.
25. I'm an avid nudist--tons of skinny dipping, hardly wear clothes when at home and deign to wear even the smallest scrap of clothing in the summertime. My pubescent fantasies of nude communes crashed and burned with the realization that though I wasn't going to ogle people, they were certainly ogling me. Nudity and sexual arousal are independent of each other, at least to me. So it's quite frustrating when nudity automatically signals sexual interest/arousal for others.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
1. I think about sex constantly.
2. I'm bi. But my experience on the gay side of the ledger is limited, mainly due to the era in which I grew up. I don't believe it's too late to rectify this, but it's enough for me that I identify as bi, because it's the truth. I am attracted to both genders. Not equally, but then, one acquires different tastes with different life experiences. Tastes often change.
3. Sometimes I wish I could be a sex therapist. Hands-on. When I hear women talk about how dissatisfied they are, I wish I could show them the way.
4. I lost my virginity when I was 14. I had no clue, really, I just wanted to get it over with. It hurt. The opportunity and the desire didn't return for three years.
5. My preferences in the bedroom have changed much over the years and continually evolve. Luckily, my partner is very adaptable.
6. I'm in an open relationship. It was my idea. Partly because I am extremely turned on by the thought of my partner being with other women, partly because I hate feeling like I am "owned" by anyone, and partly because I just want to get over any sense of jealousy whatsoever. And, well, partly because life is short and if an great opportunity presented itself I wanted the option of saying yes to it. It does not mean I actively seek out opportunities to have casual sex. But knowing that life has possibilities has given my partner and me a whole new platform for friendship and INSANELY AMAZING SEX - with each other.
7. I'm going through menopause. My libido has been racing since it started. Not sure if it's hormones or psychosomatic. Like FUCK YOU MENOPAUSE, I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT.
8. I'm more attracted to younger people than I am to people my own age or older. When I was young, the opposite was true. I think it balances itself out somehow. This is what I tell myself to make myself feel better. In my mind I don't feel "older" than anyone, but that doesn't change the fact that I am. It stinks to have to think about it. I'd rather not, but society keeps telling me I am supposed to.
9. My first sexual experience was with my best friend in high school. We didn't really know what we were doing, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Especially the kissing. It was exquisite. She's still in my top five all time kiss list.
10. The first "porn" film I ever saw was Emmanuelle. It was soft porn. I was about 15. I envied her life experiences even then, even though I was yet to experience good sex.
11. I've never "squirted"... or if I have, it wasn't noticable beyond the great quantities of vaginal juices I secrete when aroused.
12. I really enjoy giving head. I don't always swallow. It's a mood thing. If I'm really into it - and sometimes I really do get off on it - I will. Otherwise, if I'm doing it "more for him than for me" I tend to get out of the way.
13. I enjoy different sexual positions, but I always come "missionary." It's rare for me to come in other positions unless i stimulate myself clitorally. But missionary works a treat. I also lie on my back to masturbate. So I guess that's the connection.
14. I can come, without masturbating. Just by thinking, breathing, moaning and flexing my pelvic floor muscles. It's intense. I sometimes jerk uncontrollably and my whole body experiences a tremendous rush of tension release when I do it. I think I could teach other women to do it.
15. There have been times when I've liked "rough" sex. It's a phase I went through for a while, then I went off it. Certain men bring it out in me, though. Sometimes you meet someone who's a bit cocky and obnoxious, and you find yourself thinking it would be awesome if they "took advantage."
16. I like the way I taste and smell. I love kissing my partner after he's gone down on me. I kiss and lick his lips and fantasize that it is another woman's cunt. I'm hoping it's good practice for the real thing. I've got a slight lemon tang to my taste and I smell of the soap I use... and sex.
17. I don't put my fingers deep into my own vagina very often - preferring just to splash around at the entrance. I don't know why. I love it when other people do. Fingers are wonderful.
18. I love having my tits sucked. It can make me come. I long to suck another woman's breasts. Nipples are wonderful.
19. I really would love to tie a woman up and drive her nuts.
20. I get horny when I drink, but don't like to have sex when drunk. It dulls my senses. My favorite time for sex is in the afternoon, stone cold sober.
21. I wish I could just make out with whomever I wanted at a party, without being judged for it. Making out is awesome.
22. I don't look at porn on the net but I do look for photos of celebs accidentally revealing their breasts in public--they're known as nip slips. I like the idea of seeing something I wasn't mean to see.
23. I fantasize about wearing ridiculously revealing clothes and showing myself to strangers on public transport.
24. I have never had anal sex and never wanted to.
25. The first time I ever came without my clit being touched, it was when my partner teased my asshole with his tongue.
2. I'm bi. But my experience on the gay side of the ledger is limited, mainly due to the era in which I grew up. I don't believe it's too late to rectify this, but it's enough for me that I identify as bi, because it's the truth. I am attracted to both genders. Not equally, but then, one acquires different tastes with different life experiences. Tastes often change.
3. Sometimes I wish I could be a sex therapist. Hands-on. When I hear women talk about how dissatisfied they are, I wish I could show them the way.
4. I lost my virginity when I was 14. I had no clue, really, I just wanted to get it over with. It hurt. The opportunity and the desire didn't return for three years.
5. My preferences in the bedroom have changed much over the years and continually evolve. Luckily, my partner is very adaptable.
6. I'm in an open relationship. It was my idea. Partly because I am extremely turned on by the thought of my partner being with other women, partly because I hate feeling like I am "owned" by anyone, and partly because I just want to get over any sense of jealousy whatsoever. And, well, partly because life is short and if an great opportunity presented itself I wanted the option of saying yes to it. It does not mean I actively seek out opportunities to have casual sex. But knowing that life has possibilities has given my partner and me a whole new platform for friendship and INSANELY AMAZING SEX - with each other.
7. I'm going through menopause. My libido has been racing since it started. Not sure if it's hormones or psychosomatic. Like FUCK YOU MENOPAUSE, I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT.
8. I'm more attracted to younger people than I am to people my own age or older. When I was young, the opposite was true. I think it balances itself out somehow. This is what I tell myself to make myself feel better. In my mind I don't feel "older" than anyone, but that doesn't change the fact that I am. It stinks to have to think about it. I'd rather not, but society keeps telling me I am supposed to.
9. My first sexual experience was with my best friend in high school. We didn't really know what we were doing, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Especially the kissing. It was exquisite. She's still in my top five all time kiss list.
10. The first "porn" film I ever saw was Emmanuelle. It was soft porn. I was about 15. I envied her life experiences even then, even though I was yet to experience good sex.
11. I've never "squirted"... or if I have, it wasn't noticable beyond the great quantities of vaginal juices I secrete when aroused.
12. I really enjoy giving head. I don't always swallow. It's a mood thing. If I'm really into it - and sometimes I really do get off on it - I will. Otherwise, if I'm doing it "more for him than for me" I tend to get out of the way.
13. I enjoy different sexual positions, but I always come "missionary." It's rare for me to come in other positions unless i stimulate myself clitorally. But missionary works a treat. I also lie on my back to masturbate. So I guess that's the connection.
14. I can come, without masturbating. Just by thinking, breathing, moaning and flexing my pelvic floor muscles. It's intense. I sometimes jerk uncontrollably and my whole body experiences a tremendous rush of tension release when I do it. I think I could teach other women to do it.
15. There have been times when I've liked "rough" sex. It's a phase I went through for a while, then I went off it. Certain men bring it out in me, though. Sometimes you meet someone who's a bit cocky and obnoxious, and you find yourself thinking it would be awesome if they "took advantage."
16. I like the way I taste and smell. I love kissing my partner after he's gone down on me. I kiss and lick his lips and fantasize that it is another woman's cunt. I'm hoping it's good practice for the real thing. I've got a slight lemon tang to my taste and I smell of the soap I use... and sex.
17. I don't put my fingers deep into my own vagina very often - preferring just to splash around at the entrance. I don't know why. I love it when other people do. Fingers are wonderful.
18. I love having my tits sucked. It can make me come. I long to suck another woman's breasts. Nipples are wonderful.
19. I really would love to tie a woman up and drive her nuts.
20. I get horny when I drink, but don't like to have sex when drunk. It dulls my senses. My favorite time for sex is in the afternoon, stone cold sober.
21. I wish I could just make out with whomever I wanted at a party, without being judged for it. Making out is awesome.
22. I don't look at porn on the net but I do look for photos of celebs accidentally revealing their breasts in public--they're known as nip slips. I like the idea of seeing something I wasn't mean to see.
23. I fantasize about wearing ridiculously revealing clothes and showing myself to strangers on public transport.
24. I have never had anal sex and never wanted to.
25. The first time I ever came without my clit being touched, it was when my partner teased my asshole with his tongue.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
1. I am 19 years old, and I have had 6 partners so far. I lost my virginity right before I turned 17 to a guy who was 21. He liked to brag about his abilities and past conquests, but was very nervous about taking my virginity. I remember having no pain and laughing, saying "that's it?" (slightly contemptuously, I'll admit).
2. I don't masturbate and rarely watch porn. I have often attempted to pleasure myself, but it just doesn't feel right--not that it's wrong, but I can't make myself feel good. I've tried multiple techniques. Personally, I need a male present to stimulate me and get me off. Porn doesn't do much to turn me on, but I occasionally watch it out of curiosity.
3. I had a threesome before I turned 18. It was with my best friend and her boyfriend. She was bisexual, and we had all talked about it a lot beforehand. Everyone got drunk, and there was a lot of drama involved afterwards because her boyfriend was more interested in me than her. He basically plowed me/ate me out the entire time, leaving me to attempt to please her orally. I had no idea what I was doing. I also discovered that I don't particularly enjoy eating girls out. She tasted like copper.
4. When I moved to college, I fucked the first guy who wanted to. It was interesting, and we did it while three other guys were sleeping in the room. To this day, I have no idea whether they knew and were only pretending to be asleep. It was awkward talking with him after that night.
5. My first major boyfriend opened up my sexuality. We screwed like rabbits, sometimes hitting 4 times a day. It was a lot of fun, and I learned many, many things about myself.
6. I learned from him that I can squirt. It is a very intense feeling, and only one way of fingering me will do it. He basically turned his fingers into a mini-tornado inside me. Often I didn't want to do it, just because the feeling was too intense.
7. I had never had an orgasm. We must have had sex hundreds and hundreds of times and he was very good at what he did. But he could never make me come.
8. I discovered that I am very kinky-minded. We bought an under-the-bed restraint system, I would always dress up sexily, and enjoyed posting naughty pictures of myself to the internet.
10. My current boyfriend was very vanilla when I met him. He had no idea what to do with me. He had only one girlfriend, who I am pretty sure he rarely had sex with. I have turned him into a demon. I made it my personal mission to cultivate his general horniness, and I am very open-minded. He is less so than I am, but learning to open up to and accept his darkest desires.
11. I turned my current, very sweet boyfriend into a devil who enjoys dominating me in bed and tying me up, pulling my hair, telling me deliciously naughty things, and generally treating me a little roughly.
12. I love when he does this. I also love when afterwards, he cuddles up to me and kisses me sweetly.
13. I never enjoyed kissing any other guy than my current SO. Strangely enough, I was more OK with sex than kissing. I have never had any sexual inhibitions, and don't see a point in waiting for it. I have slowly realized that I have a slight obsession with kissing my boyfriend. Last night, we had the most perfect, wet, passionate kiss. It was amazing, and the memory is all that I can think about.
14. I have unfortunately never had a sex dream. I wish I did.
15. I have been woken up to oral sex once before. I was too tired and it was like a haze. I fell back asleep and my SO gave up and fell asleep too. I regret this, because thinking about it now, being woken up to gentle sex is pretty hot.
16. I enjoy reading about sex, other people's experiences, and learning new facts. It's one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. I'm just so curious.
17. I absolutely LOVE giving blowjobs. This has only been applicable to my current partner. He has a glorious penis. I was never very interested in giving head before him. Now I give him head almost every time we have sex, and just randomly at times. Its like I can't get enough of his taste, or his moans and writhes of agony/ecstasy. Blowjobs are awesome.
18. Penises are awesome. Men are awesome. I love men, and I love sex.
19. I secretly want to have a long-term dom/sub relationship. I want to be the sub, and I want my partner to utterly dominate me in bed, and to think of new things to do to me. I don't want to do anything too drastic, but I think the relationship would be extremely hot, and our little secret.
20. I have had sex on a balcony with people just below me. I have had sex all over my boyfriend's apartment furniture while his roommates were gone. Everything has been defiled by us, and I don't feel bad about it, not one bit.
21. I love taking sexy pictures of myself, and getting feedback. I have an unusual body: 5'11", long legs, small waist, tight ass, and 32 Gs. Makes for good pictures.
22. I ADORE pretty underwear. I may have a fetish for them. I have upwards of 60 pairs, and I don't own anything ugly or plain. My ex had a thing for cute, adorable underwear, and I feel like my current boyfriend could really care less. He thinks thongs are hot. Typical male.
23. Right now, I really wish my boyfriend would come over and rail me like there's no tomorrow. He is about 3-4 inches shorter than me, so for some reason, it's really hot when he takes charge in bed. He is small and very muscular, and he has a way of really getting what he wants. He also has these deliciously green eyes that convey many different emotions that somehow manage to make me die a little each time he looks into mine.
24. The feeling of skin-on-skin contact makes me melt. Its one of the best things in the world. So is cuddling. Cuddling is awesome, and beyond words.
25. I had my first 3 orgasms with my current partner. They are very rare. But they make me feel out of this world. He is the best, and I can't imagine a world (or sex!) without him.
2. I don't masturbate and rarely watch porn. I have often attempted to pleasure myself, but it just doesn't feel right--not that it's wrong, but I can't make myself feel good. I've tried multiple techniques. Personally, I need a male present to stimulate me and get me off. Porn doesn't do much to turn me on, but I occasionally watch it out of curiosity.
3. I had a threesome before I turned 18. It was with my best friend and her boyfriend. She was bisexual, and we had all talked about it a lot beforehand. Everyone got drunk, and there was a lot of drama involved afterwards because her boyfriend was more interested in me than her. He basically plowed me/ate me out the entire time, leaving me to attempt to please her orally. I had no idea what I was doing. I also discovered that I don't particularly enjoy eating girls out. She tasted like copper.
4. When I moved to college, I fucked the first guy who wanted to. It was interesting, and we did it while three other guys were sleeping in the room. To this day, I have no idea whether they knew and were only pretending to be asleep. It was awkward talking with him after that night.
5. My first major boyfriend opened up my sexuality. We screwed like rabbits, sometimes hitting 4 times a day. It was a lot of fun, and I learned many, many things about myself.
6. I learned from him that I can squirt. It is a very intense feeling, and only one way of fingering me will do it. He basically turned his fingers into a mini-tornado inside me. Often I didn't want to do it, just because the feeling was too intense.
7. I had never had an orgasm. We must have had sex hundreds and hundreds of times and he was very good at what he did. But he could never make me come.
8. I discovered that I am very kinky-minded. We bought an under-the-bed restraint system, I would always dress up sexily, and enjoyed posting naughty pictures of myself to the internet.
10. My current boyfriend was very vanilla when I met him. He had no idea what to do with me. He had only one girlfriend, who I am pretty sure he rarely had sex with. I have turned him into a demon. I made it my personal mission to cultivate his general horniness, and I am very open-minded. He is less so than I am, but learning to open up to and accept his darkest desires.
11. I turned my current, very sweet boyfriend into a devil who enjoys dominating me in bed and tying me up, pulling my hair, telling me deliciously naughty things, and generally treating me a little roughly.
12. I love when he does this. I also love when afterwards, he cuddles up to me and kisses me sweetly.
13. I never enjoyed kissing any other guy than my current SO. Strangely enough, I was more OK with sex than kissing. I have never had any sexual inhibitions, and don't see a point in waiting for it. I have slowly realized that I have a slight obsession with kissing my boyfriend. Last night, we had the most perfect, wet, passionate kiss. It was amazing, and the memory is all that I can think about.
14. I have unfortunately never had a sex dream. I wish I did.
15. I have been woken up to oral sex once before. I was too tired and it was like a haze. I fell back asleep and my SO gave up and fell asleep too. I regret this, because thinking about it now, being woken up to gentle sex is pretty hot.
16. I enjoy reading about sex, other people's experiences, and learning new facts. It's one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. I'm just so curious.
17. I absolutely LOVE giving blowjobs. This has only been applicable to my current partner. He has a glorious penis. I was never very interested in giving head before him. Now I give him head almost every time we have sex, and just randomly at times. Its like I can't get enough of his taste, or his moans and writhes of agony/ecstasy. Blowjobs are awesome.
18. Penises are awesome. Men are awesome. I love men, and I love sex.
19. I secretly want to have a long-term dom/sub relationship. I want to be the sub, and I want my partner to utterly dominate me in bed, and to think of new things to do to me. I don't want to do anything too drastic, but I think the relationship would be extremely hot, and our little secret.
20. I have had sex on a balcony with people just below me. I have had sex all over my boyfriend's apartment furniture while his roommates were gone. Everything has been defiled by us, and I don't feel bad about it, not one bit.
21. I love taking sexy pictures of myself, and getting feedback. I have an unusual body: 5'11", long legs, small waist, tight ass, and 32 Gs. Makes for good pictures.
22. I ADORE pretty underwear. I may have a fetish for them. I have upwards of 60 pairs, and I don't own anything ugly or plain. My ex had a thing for cute, adorable underwear, and I feel like my current boyfriend could really care less. He thinks thongs are hot. Typical male.
23. Right now, I really wish my boyfriend would come over and rail me like there's no tomorrow. He is about 3-4 inches shorter than me, so for some reason, it's really hot when he takes charge in bed. He is small and very muscular, and he has a way of really getting what he wants. He also has these deliciously green eyes that convey many different emotions that somehow manage to make me die a little each time he looks into mine.
24. The feeling of skin-on-skin contact makes me melt. Its one of the best things in the world. So is cuddling. Cuddling is awesome, and beyond words.
25. I had my first 3 orgasms with my current partner. They are very rare. But they make me feel out of this world. He is the best, and I can't imagine a world (or sex!) without him.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
1. I am a 45-year-old middle-class white male from the Midwest of the US, divorced, no kids.
2. My sex life began, as far as I can recollect, when an older boy talked me into "playing nasty" when I was very young. We touched each other's penises, that kind of thing. I know it isn't terribly unusual, but I do wish it had not happened. I think I became extremely sexualized at too young an age.
3. As an adolescent, I had a newspaper delivery route. There was an adult bookstore near my route, and I sometimes found porno mags. Some of them featured extremely kinky content. This also had a deep impact on my sexual development, I think. I have very kinky fantasies, but hide them... just like I hid those magazines.
4. I was pretty nerdy in high school, and I absolutely lusted after a few female friends but could not figure out how to become sexual. I was a good friend, or a good boyfriend (i.e., no sexual pressure from me). I remember one time getting my girlfriend's pants off, and beginning to go down on her but I chickened out. She must have been pretty frustrated by that.
5. So I didn't have intercourse with anybody until I was 18 years old, with that same girlfriend. We weren't drunk or intoxicated in any way, but I honestly don't remember that much about it. I just remember being very nervous. She and I went off to different universities, so that relationship went by the wayside. We continued to have sex if we saw each other on breaks and were both not in relationships, but eventually she got married. My memories of my times with her are fond; she was a good person to learn with.
6. In college, I partied too much and had about zero success with women as a direct result. The frustration about drove me insane, but I never made the connection that women do not necessarily want to have intimate relations with ambitionless drunks. If I could do anything over in life, I would take my college education much more seriously, and would have treated women better.
7. After college, I went to a graduate program and finally wised up. Got my own place, got a decent job, and finally started getting the attention of some women. I remember well the day I was eating pizza inside a restaurant and one of the women I had lusted after so ardently in high school walked by and saw me. She came in to say hi, talked a while, gave me her phone number, practically begged me to call. I was so clueless that I honestly did not know she was coming on to me. I did call her, we got together, and she turned out to have an enormous sexual appetite. She was up for anything. Unfortunately, she was also determined to find a husband and I was not in love. That was fun while it lasted, though.
8. So around that time, I guess I became sort of a cad. I had some meaningless sex just for the sake of doing it. One night stands, cheating girlfriends, things I am not proud of. I was just super horny, I suppose, but it isn't worth having someone dislike you.
9. Up to this point, the sex I was having was adventurous in terms of the positions and locations - memorably, outside in a tornado storm as the tornado sirens wailed and the rain pounded us - but nothing really kinky. Then I met a woman I will call V. She was kind of goth, a little older than me, and I really was not that attracted to her when we met. She came to a party at my place with a friend of a friend. She apparently was quite drawn to me, as she ended up staying over that night, and she opened up a whole new world of sexual practices. She was extremely kinky in bed and I loved it! I'll never forget the surprise of having her go from sucking my cock to licking my ass. I didn't even know people did that. She was the first woman to allow me to tie her up - her idea, I might add.
10. V also suggested we arrange a threesome, which I was totally excited about but it never happened. I somehow found myself in a relationship with a more "marriageable" woman, which turned out to be a huge mistake. I have always regretted not getting to take V up on that offer, because I have never had any kind of multiple-partner experience, and it is a tremendous fantasy of mine. And she was completely up for any combination, which I have never encountered since.
11. Another major influence about this time was A, a great friend of mine in grad school, and a terrible influence. She loved to party, and I was very accommodating. A was drop-dead gorgeous, a former model, and just a little bit crazy. More than a little bit, perhaps. She loved seduction much more than sex, which was very frustrating. We did have sex a few times, but what she really awakened in me was a love for dirty talk. She was fantastic at talking about sex. Eventually, our relationship became one where she fucked somebody, came to my house and told me all about it in excruciating detail as I masturbated. That was actually one of the most fulfilling sexual relationships I ever had. She too got married, and that was the end of that.
12. After that, I got into the relationship mentioned in #10, with a person I ended up hating but with whom I had some pretty great sex. She was always up for it, and liked it hard. She also made an effort to talk dirty, though she wasn't so great at it.
13. She and I broke up when I was about 32, and I took up with a 21-year-old. She was an interesting character... she was kind of sullen and morose, as she had had a difficult life. But she was the most easily aroused person I have ever encountered. If I woke up in the middle of the night and simply put my arm around her, she would wake up and start fucking me furiously. She could also get pretty kinky, bondage and role-play stuff. She was tall and had kind of a spacious vagina, so I bought her her first ever vibrator--and a pretty big one at that. She loved it, and used it a lot. I loved that, took it as no offense at all when I would finish fucking her and she would grab that vibrator and keep at it. Such fun sex with her, but aside from that she was just a depressing person, so I moved on to....
14. ...the woman who became my wife. We were together about 12 years. Sex was good at first, but she had some deep-seated issues that she never discussed with me until it was far too late. The consequence of her issues was that she fiercely resented some of my kinks. I was just sharing intimate parts of who I was, and she came to hate that part of me. Sex became non-existent, I resented that, and the marriage ended in a smoldering heap of awfulness. Seems like a rather common story, but when it happens to you it really sucks - trust me on that. Communicate, people! That is my advice, for what it is worth.
15. So now i am with a woman 18 years my junior. We work well together in so many ways, including sexually. Lucky me, she is hot as hell and LOVES to fuck. When we first became intimate, I think we were both just so frustrated from our mutual lack of a sex life that we fairly attacked each other for a couple of months. Attacked in a good way, meaning when she walked in my doorway we went straight at it. She is a tall, thin blonde and did me the great favor one day of dressing in black heels, black thigh-highs, black panties and black bra, and just letting me perv on her for a while. Goddam that was awesome!
16. Geez, ten to go, what else? Well, I guess I'll get egotistical and say I have a pretty awesome member. Maybe it is just something women say to all the guys, but almost all have said my cock is the perfect size. Long but not too long, thick but not too thick.
17. I love amateur porn far more than pro-shot stuff. I love the idea of all those real people out there loving to have sex as much as I do. Why don't we meet?
18. I would love to try group sex sometime. I went to a nudist colony once or twice, but want to go to a lifestyle event sometime. Present girlfriend is against it.
19. It seems a common theme on these essays, but I am another one of those guys who likes to look at the guy in porn, fantasizes about maybe sucking a guy, but has not acted on it. It sure is a turn-on, though. Only A was able to fully realize the power of this fantasy, and used to drive me wild with her stories by intricately describing her lovers' cocks. Oh, how I miss her!
20. I love to read casual sex personals for the same reason I love to view amateur porn... I can relate!
21. I love going down on a woman. I love to make a woman come, the actual physical reactions of the vagina are such a turn-on.
22. Oh, I remembered another fantastic sexual encounter from that time between the horrible girlfriend and marriage - another friend from high school with whom I made very detailed and direct plans to have sex. We literally met for lunch, discussed exactly what we wanted to do, and later she came over and we had just fantastic sex. It lasted for hours, we both got off multiple times, and that was that. We still run into each other from time to time, and have this great memory to secretly share. Perhaps my most successful relationship ever.
23. I did have one near-multiple-partner experience. This was during my relationship with the horrible girlfriend, when she was out of town. I met two women at a bar who explained they were out looking for a guy to fuck one of them, who had gone too long without. Sadly, the other one was the one who attracted me more. I went to their place, we played truth or dare, and I got near to sex with the horny one but chickened out. I felt guilty, as I am not a cheater.... though I certainly came very close. In retrospect, I wish I had gone through with it. I am now sure that the other one was looking forward to watching, and that would have been pretty exciting in its own right.
24. I was trying to think of how many women I have had sex with, and am somewhat disappointed in myself that I cannot really say. 35 or so, I would guess. To those I might have given hurt feelings, I am sorry. I generally practiced safe sex, but am a little amazed I made it through without contracting anything.
25. Lastly, I just want to say thanks for reading if you made it this far. It is kind of gratifying to think that someone else might have derived pleasure from my sexcapades. I know I enjoy reading some of these.
2. My sex life began, as far as I can recollect, when an older boy talked me into "playing nasty" when I was very young. We touched each other's penises, that kind of thing. I know it isn't terribly unusual, but I do wish it had not happened. I think I became extremely sexualized at too young an age.
3. As an adolescent, I had a newspaper delivery route. There was an adult bookstore near my route, and I sometimes found porno mags. Some of them featured extremely kinky content. This also had a deep impact on my sexual development, I think. I have very kinky fantasies, but hide them... just like I hid those magazines.
4. I was pretty nerdy in high school, and I absolutely lusted after a few female friends but could not figure out how to become sexual. I was a good friend, or a good boyfriend (i.e., no sexual pressure from me). I remember one time getting my girlfriend's pants off, and beginning to go down on her but I chickened out. She must have been pretty frustrated by that.
5. So I didn't have intercourse with anybody until I was 18 years old, with that same girlfriend. We weren't drunk or intoxicated in any way, but I honestly don't remember that much about it. I just remember being very nervous. She and I went off to different universities, so that relationship went by the wayside. We continued to have sex if we saw each other on breaks and were both not in relationships, but eventually she got married. My memories of my times with her are fond; she was a good person to learn with.
6. In college, I partied too much and had about zero success with women as a direct result. The frustration about drove me insane, but I never made the connection that women do not necessarily want to have intimate relations with ambitionless drunks. If I could do anything over in life, I would take my college education much more seriously, and would have treated women better.
7. After college, I went to a graduate program and finally wised up. Got my own place, got a decent job, and finally started getting the attention of some women. I remember well the day I was eating pizza inside a restaurant and one of the women I had lusted after so ardently in high school walked by and saw me. She came in to say hi, talked a while, gave me her phone number, practically begged me to call. I was so clueless that I honestly did not know she was coming on to me. I did call her, we got together, and she turned out to have an enormous sexual appetite. She was up for anything. Unfortunately, she was also determined to find a husband and I was not in love. That was fun while it lasted, though.
8. So around that time, I guess I became sort of a cad. I had some meaningless sex just for the sake of doing it. One night stands, cheating girlfriends, things I am not proud of. I was just super horny, I suppose, but it isn't worth having someone dislike you.
9. Up to this point, the sex I was having was adventurous in terms of the positions and locations - memorably, outside in a tornado storm as the tornado sirens wailed and the rain pounded us - but nothing really kinky. Then I met a woman I will call V. She was kind of goth, a little older than me, and I really was not that attracted to her when we met. She came to a party at my place with a friend of a friend. She apparently was quite drawn to me, as she ended up staying over that night, and she opened up a whole new world of sexual practices. She was extremely kinky in bed and I loved it! I'll never forget the surprise of having her go from sucking my cock to licking my ass. I didn't even know people did that. She was the first woman to allow me to tie her up - her idea, I might add.
10. V also suggested we arrange a threesome, which I was totally excited about but it never happened. I somehow found myself in a relationship with a more "marriageable" woman, which turned out to be a huge mistake. I have always regretted not getting to take V up on that offer, because I have never had any kind of multiple-partner experience, and it is a tremendous fantasy of mine. And she was completely up for any combination, which I have never encountered since.
11. Another major influence about this time was A, a great friend of mine in grad school, and a terrible influence. She loved to party, and I was very accommodating. A was drop-dead gorgeous, a former model, and just a little bit crazy. More than a little bit, perhaps. She loved seduction much more than sex, which was very frustrating. We did have sex a few times, but what she really awakened in me was a love for dirty talk. She was fantastic at talking about sex. Eventually, our relationship became one where she fucked somebody, came to my house and told me all about it in excruciating detail as I masturbated. That was actually one of the most fulfilling sexual relationships I ever had. She too got married, and that was the end of that.
12. After that, I got into the relationship mentioned in #10, with a person I ended up hating but with whom I had some pretty great sex. She was always up for it, and liked it hard. She also made an effort to talk dirty, though she wasn't so great at it.
13. She and I broke up when I was about 32, and I took up with a 21-year-old. She was an interesting character... she was kind of sullen and morose, as she had had a difficult life. But she was the most easily aroused person I have ever encountered. If I woke up in the middle of the night and simply put my arm around her, she would wake up and start fucking me furiously. She could also get pretty kinky, bondage and role-play stuff. She was tall and had kind of a spacious vagina, so I bought her her first ever vibrator--and a pretty big one at that. She loved it, and used it a lot. I loved that, took it as no offense at all when I would finish fucking her and she would grab that vibrator and keep at it. Such fun sex with her, but aside from that she was just a depressing person, so I moved on to....
14. ...the woman who became my wife. We were together about 12 years. Sex was good at first, but she had some deep-seated issues that she never discussed with me until it was far too late. The consequence of her issues was that she fiercely resented some of my kinks. I was just sharing intimate parts of who I was, and she came to hate that part of me. Sex became non-existent, I resented that, and the marriage ended in a smoldering heap of awfulness. Seems like a rather common story, but when it happens to you it really sucks - trust me on that. Communicate, people! That is my advice, for what it is worth.
15. So now i am with a woman 18 years my junior. We work well together in so many ways, including sexually. Lucky me, she is hot as hell and LOVES to fuck. When we first became intimate, I think we were both just so frustrated from our mutual lack of a sex life that we fairly attacked each other for a couple of months. Attacked in a good way, meaning when she walked in my doorway we went straight at it. She is a tall, thin blonde and did me the great favor one day of dressing in black heels, black thigh-highs, black panties and black bra, and just letting me perv on her for a while. Goddam that was awesome!
16. Geez, ten to go, what else? Well, I guess I'll get egotistical and say I have a pretty awesome member. Maybe it is just something women say to all the guys, but almost all have said my cock is the perfect size. Long but not too long, thick but not too thick.
17. I love amateur porn far more than pro-shot stuff. I love the idea of all those real people out there loving to have sex as much as I do. Why don't we meet?
18. I would love to try group sex sometime. I went to a nudist colony once or twice, but want to go to a lifestyle event sometime. Present girlfriend is against it.
19. It seems a common theme on these essays, but I am another one of those guys who likes to look at the guy in porn, fantasizes about maybe sucking a guy, but has not acted on it. It sure is a turn-on, though. Only A was able to fully realize the power of this fantasy, and used to drive me wild with her stories by intricately describing her lovers' cocks. Oh, how I miss her!
20. I love to read casual sex personals for the same reason I love to view amateur porn... I can relate!
21. I love going down on a woman. I love to make a woman come, the actual physical reactions of the vagina are such a turn-on.
22. Oh, I remembered another fantastic sexual encounter from that time between the horrible girlfriend and marriage - another friend from high school with whom I made very detailed and direct plans to have sex. We literally met for lunch, discussed exactly what we wanted to do, and later she came over and we had just fantastic sex. It lasted for hours, we both got off multiple times, and that was that. We still run into each other from time to time, and have this great memory to secretly share. Perhaps my most successful relationship ever.
23. I did have one near-multiple-partner experience. This was during my relationship with the horrible girlfriend, when she was out of town. I met two women at a bar who explained they were out looking for a guy to fuck one of them, who had gone too long without. Sadly, the other one was the one who attracted me more. I went to their place, we played truth or dare, and I got near to sex with the horny one but chickened out. I felt guilty, as I am not a cheater.... though I certainly came very close. In retrospect, I wish I had gone through with it. I am now sure that the other one was looking forward to watching, and that would have been pretty exciting in its own right.
24. I was trying to think of how many women I have had sex with, and am somewhat disappointed in myself that I cannot really say. 35 or so, I would guess. To those I might have given hurt feelings, I am sorry. I generally practiced safe sex, but am a little amazed I made it through without contracting anything.
25. Lastly, I just want to say thanks for reading if you made it this far. It is kind of gratifying to think that someone else might have derived pleasure from my sexcapades. I know I enjoy reading some of these.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
1. I'm an 18-year-old female who has identified as bisexual since I discovered what the word meant at 13. I've been dating my current boyfriend for just over three months, and I've never felt so content with someone before.
2. My first kiss was from a girl in my school when I was 13. She was tall and pressed me up against a wall behind the school. I remember being surprised that other people's mouths tasted the same as mine. I enjoyed having a girlfriend. I felt so grown up.
3. I had sex for the first time when I was 14, with a boy I had been dating for three months. It didn't really hurt, and it only lasted a few moments. I don't know whether I enjoyed it or not, but I certainly don't regret it. I told my mother what had happened when she picked me up that night on her way home, and she gave me a hug and a hot whisky when we got home - this is what she does when I injure myself.
4. I spent two and a half years dating a boy who I wasn't attracted to at all. I put off having sex with him as often as possible. The only thing I enjoyed about the sex we had was the fact that he liked to spank me with my riding crop, tie me up and put clips on my nipples. I loved that. I wanted more of it, but I never made my desires evident.
5. I masturbate a lot to the thought of being forced to submit to someone else.
6. I cannot, and have never been able to, make myself orgasm. I've never orgasmed through penetrative sex. The only times I have orgasmed is when getting head or being fingered, but that doesn't mean I don't like penetrative sex or masturbation. Some people have a hard time understanding just how much I enjoy sex, even though it doesn't make me orgasm.
7. I've slept with 5 men and 1 woman, and I've messed around with a lot more. I've kissed more people than I can count. This isn't bragging - I don't really know how I feel about this. So far in my life, I regret none of it, but I know that may change.
8. I had an abortion about 3 weeks ago. I live in a country where abortion is illegal and my mother and I traveled on a plane and came back the same night. My boyfriend paid half. I know how I got pregnant. I'm on the pill now. I don't want children until I'm much older and I don't regret the abortion--it was the logical thing to do.
9. I'm terrified of the idea of being watched having sex. I used to be terrified by the thought of anyone knowing that I'm having sex--I would feel embarrassed and ashamed. But now I don't mind so much, and I don't care if people's roommates are at home when I'm there. I'm more relaxed about sex generally.
10. I would never, ever have public sex, though.
11. I love being held face down during sex and having the back of my neck bitten, hard.
12. My boyfriend, when asked about BDSM, says he thinks it's weird. But he asks me to scratch him, hold him down, bite him, take control during sex. It's so different to what I'm used to, but I kind of like the change. I want to be controlled, but I'm also enjoying playing it the other way.
13. I'm obsessed with anal sex. I crave it. I've only had it twice, when I was 14, and since then I haven't had a partner who would consent to it. One guy used to stick his thumb in my anus when he was having sex with me, and I loved it, but it our arrangement was very casual and I thought it might be pushing it to ask for more.
14. I slept with that guy for 4 months after coming out of a long relationship (see 4). The sex was incredible. I was so attracted to him. I was 17, he was 21, and he seemed so glamorous - In the last year of a degree in design, his own car, his own flat, two jobs plus a sideline selling drugs - he was loaded. We both slept with other people during that time, him more than me. In the end he got a 'real' girlfriend, instead of a kid he hooked up with.
15. My boyfriend is that guy's friend, and I only really know him because he slept with my best friend for a while. He's 6 years older than me, but he's the first person I've dated who doesn't care about the age gap. It's been really intense - its feels like we've known each other for years. I'm more attracted to him than I thought it was possible to be. He's heavily bipolar, and at times it's hard dealing with him, but its worth it.
16. I hate the taste of semen, but I love the sensation of someone, male or female, coming in my mouth. I feel degraded, and simultaneously like I've achieved something.
17. I would love for someone to hold total control over me. Not all the time--I want my own life--but when we both wanted it. I want to be completely helpless, not have any control over myself. I think this is why I like drugs, too.
18. Sometimes I don't want to have sex, like when I'm on a comedown or I don't feel well, or when I was pregnant and felt sick all the time, but usually if whoever I'm with keeps pushing for it I'll always give in, and they're usually right: I do feel better afterward.
19. I love having my ass grabbed. I love the way my ass looks and feels. I love the feel of other girls' asses, too. I think it'd be a bit weird to do the same to a guy, and I'm not sure why I think that.
20. I once scratched my boyfriend's back, during sex, so hard it bled. He came instantly, and he still has the scars on his back. I did it because he asked me to, and all I felt was vaguely disgusted at all the skin under my fingernails. But I would love if he would do that to me, so I didn't mind it.
21. I have both my nipples pierced, my navel pierced, and my tongue pierced twice. Some people are disgusted by the piercings, and some people are turned on my them. I love having the rings in my nipples pulled.
22. I shave all the hair off my vulva, bar a strip down the front, and I shave my underarms. I refuse to shave my legs because I'm blonde and the hair is barely visible anyway. I don't like shaving, but my boyfriend and nearly everyone I've slept with says they prefer it that way.
23. I love some hair on guys, though not too much. I like rubbing my face in chest hair.
24. Sex on MDMA is incredible. I love taking it with my partner and just spending hours touching each other, feeling all the sensations and the affection - the "lovebuzz."
25. I'd probably have sex for money, if the opportunity arose.
2. My first kiss was from a girl in my school when I was 13. She was tall and pressed me up against a wall behind the school. I remember being surprised that other people's mouths tasted the same as mine. I enjoyed having a girlfriend. I felt so grown up.
3. I had sex for the first time when I was 14, with a boy I had been dating for three months. It didn't really hurt, and it only lasted a few moments. I don't know whether I enjoyed it or not, but I certainly don't regret it. I told my mother what had happened when she picked me up that night on her way home, and she gave me a hug and a hot whisky when we got home - this is what she does when I injure myself.
4. I spent two and a half years dating a boy who I wasn't attracted to at all. I put off having sex with him as often as possible. The only thing I enjoyed about the sex we had was the fact that he liked to spank me with my riding crop, tie me up and put clips on my nipples. I loved that. I wanted more of it, but I never made my desires evident.
5. I masturbate a lot to the thought of being forced to submit to someone else.
6. I cannot, and have never been able to, make myself orgasm. I've never orgasmed through penetrative sex. The only times I have orgasmed is when getting head or being fingered, but that doesn't mean I don't like penetrative sex or masturbation. Some people have a hard time understanding just how much I enjoy sex, even though it doesn't make me orgasm.
7. I've slept with 5 men and 1 woman, and I've messed around with a lot more. I've kissed more people than I can count. This isn't bragging - I don't really know how I feel about this. So far in my life, I regret none of it, but I know that may change.
8. I had an abortion about 3 weeks ago. I live in a country where abortion is illegal and my mother and I traveled on a plane and came back the same night. My boyfriend paid half. I know how I got pregnant. I'm on the pill now. I don't want children until I'm much older and I don't regret the abortion--it was the logical thing to do.
9. I'm terrified of the idea of being watched having sex. I used to be terrified by the thought of anyone knowing that I'm having sex--I would feel embarrassed and ashamed. But now I don't mind so much, and I don't care if people's roommates are at home when I'm there. I'm more relaxed about sex generally.
10. I would never, ever have public sex, though.
11. I love being held face down during sex and having the back of my neck bitten, hard.
12. My boyfriend, when asked about BDSM, says he thinks it's weird. But he asks me to scratch him, hold him down, bite him, take control during sex. It's so different to what I'm used to, but I kind of like the change. I want to be controlled, but I'm also enjoying playing it the other way.
13. I'm obsessed with anal sex. I crave it. I've only had it twice, when I was 14, and since then I haven't had a partner who would consent to it. One guy used to stick his thumb in my anus when he was having sex with me, and I loved it, but it our arrangement was very casual and I thought it might be pushing it to ask for more.
14. I slept with that guy for 4 months after coming out of a long relationship (see 4). The sex was incredible. I was so attracted to him. I was 17, he was 21, and he seemed so glamorous - In the last year of a degree in design, his own car, his own flat, two jobs plus a sideline selling drugs - he was loaded. We both slept with other people during that time, him more than me. In the end he got a 'real' girlfriend, instead of a kid he hooked up with.
15. My boyfriend is that guy's friend, and I only really know him because he slept with my best friend for a while. He's 6 years older than me, but he's the first person I've dated who doesn't care about the age gap. It's been really intense - its feels like we've known each other for years. I'm more attracted to him than I thought it was possible to be. He's heavily bipolar, and at times it's hard dealing with him, but its worth it.
16. I hate the taste of semen, but I love the sensation of someone, male or female, coming in my mouth. I feel degraded, and simultaneously like I've achieved something.
17. I would love for someone to hold total control over me. Not all the time--I want my own life--but when we both wanted it. I want to be completely helpless, not have any control over myself. I think this is why I like drugs, too.
18. Sometimes I don't want to have sex, like when I'm on a comedown or I don't feel well, or when I was pregnant and felt sick all the time, but usually if whoever I'm with keeps pushing for it I'll always give in, and they're usually right: I do feel better afterward.
19. I love having my ass grabbed. I love the way my ass looks and feels. I love the feel of other girls' asses, too. I think it'd be a bit weird to do the same to a guy, and I'm not sure why I think that.
20. I once scratched my boyfriend's back, during sex, so hard it bled. He came instantly, and he still has the scars on his back. I did it because he asked me to, and all I felt was vaguely disgusted at all the skin under my fingernails. But I would love if he would do that to me, so I didn't mind it.
21. I have both my nipples pierced, my navel pierced, and my tongue pierced twice. Some people are disgusted by the piercings, and some people are turned on my them. I love having the rings in my nipples pulled.
22. I shave all the hair off my vulva, bar a strip down the front, and I shave my underarms. I refuse to shave my legs because I'm blonde and the hair is barely visible anyway. I don't like shaving, but my boyfriend and nearly everyone I've slept with says they prefer it that way.
23. I love some hair on guys, though not too much. I like rubbing my face in chest hair.
24. Sex on MDMA is incredible. I love taking it with my partner and just spending hours touching each other, feeling all the sensations and the affection - the "lovebuzz."
25. I'd probably have sex for money, if the opportunity arose.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
1. I am a 25-year-old female. I don't really like saying "straight" woman, as I feel like it's limiting. "Bisexual" feels like lying, too, because I've never had gay sex. I've never even made out with another girl. This doesn't mean I won't in the future, though.
2. I've had sex with three men. I lost my virginity at 22 to my first real boyfriend. I instinctively knew that this guy was sort of a dick and really into himself, so I never told him that he was my first, as I knew he would use it as some sort of power play against me somehow. We didn't date for very long. The only reason I chose him as my first was that he was demonstrating very intense feelings for me, and I figured he was good for helping me get it over with.
3. I've actually never told ANYONE that I lost my virginity at 22. I've been telling people 18, and now if I go back on it, I look like an ass. I used to lie about my sexual experience a lot when I was a teenager, so I've still got lies from then that I feel I need to keep going. I feel really stupid about this.
4. I've always been very sex-obsessed, but very introverted, so no one really knows that side of me. No one really knows any side of me, really, except for the very few I keep close. Once I feel comfortable with someone, though, the dam bursts and I become a total over-sharer. I love talking about sex and sexuality with people, especially people I'm trying to fuck. Nothing turns me on quite like a great conversation loaded with sexual tension with someone who's reeeaally good at it (conversation, I mean). I also love having conversations about sex with female friends, who I'm also probably subconsciously trying to fuck. I don't know what that's about yet.
5. That's really the only way I know how to flirt with people. I'm painfully awful at being all coy and girly and giggly. We'll talk about music or what have you, I'll get us both a little drunk, then start casually slip something suggestive into the conversation in a one-of-the-boys way. Something like, "Why do girls in porn always do (x)?", or "Huh, that (obscure sexual activity)'s interesting. Have you ever done that?" or what have you. This steers the conversation to sex. If they don't strike me as a douchebag all the way through this conversation, I will awkwardly suggest sex. This, graceless as it may be, usually works. I wish I was less awkward.
6. I suppose I'm kinky, but I think I'm too lazy to be properly kinky. I love being dominated, and the more psychological and mentally stimulating something is sexually, the more I respond to it. I'm not that into physical pain or having anything done to my ass (Yet! I'm trying to work on that), though, so that really limits that type of thing. I like being tied up and spanked and teased and made to feel like a dirty whore/stupid little girl (Not literal little girl. You know what I mean. Right?)/object and all that, though, as long as we're both on-board that it's all make-believe and I know the guy cares deeply about me.
7. I really like watching men I'm attracted to jack off and come, preferably on me. Part of this might be the fact that they're sort of marking me. The other part of this is that I MADE them come. It's like getting a gold star; it's physical proof of an achievement, but also of my desirability. I might possibly have self-esteem issues.
8. I really used to get turned on by tormented, scathingly hilarious, brilliant, acid-tongued, fucked-up dudes who would be really mean to me in bed. Then I started dating one of those dudes, and thankfully it quashed that particular craving. Well, mostly. I do ask my current boyfriend to be mean to me in bed sometimes, as I referenced in #6.
9. My current boyfriend is impossibly sweet, but is also really toppy and loves to dominate. That's crazily hot to me. He's also slightly androgynous, which really turns me on. The fact that we could literally share clothes really turns me on. He has a baby deer-like innocence about him that makes me feel like I'm going to corrupt/break his tender, beautiful soul.
10. I had a life-altering thing with my art professor when I was 19. He was the film "Henry and June" personified, complete with the occasional hackyness and cloying pretentiousness. Still, he knew how to talk (and talk to me about me) in a way that shook me to my core and stroked my ego in the most intoxicating way. It was everything I've ever wanted anyone to say to me, and all in that heady, calculatingly seductive artspeak language. I knew he'd be amazing in bed, and know just what to say and do to blow my goddamned mind. He was also married, thirty-odd years older, and kind of gross. I didn't fuck him (didn't fuck anyone until I was 22, remember? Much too scared). There was an obscene amount of tension between us when I was in his class (I took aaalllll of his classes). Then, there was the three-month-long overseas e-mail extravaganza (he had moved to Paris, of course) that danced around the elephant in the room but didn't address it directly until the very end, when he sent me a dirty e-mail that was quite underwhelming considering the rich and unceasing tension that had lead up to it. I had a moment of clarity, realized I didn't want to fuck him ever, and said, basically, "Hey, you're married. This is fucked up," and he, naturally, became extremely mean to me. I don't blame him; I mindfucked him royally. I was a teenager, though. I didn't know anything. Regardless of the way it ended, I still measure all relationships by the way this thing made me feel in the beginning, which is unfair and amazingly unhealthy.
11. My fetish for teachers has something to do with this. I fetishize old-timey Professor archetypes the same way some men fetishize Catholic school girls. I'm talking about slightly older (30s-40s) men who wear tweed coats, elbow patches, glasses, are elegant, well-read, filthy-minded; basically a pervy version of Giles from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I have fantasies that involve being topped by these types of dudes. I don't care if it's clichéd; clichés like that exist for a goddamned good reason.
12. Addressing something I brought up in #4, I've always kind of had a crush on all of my best female friends. I'm the kind of person who has one obsessive best friend at a time, and when the intensity of it burns out, we drift apart and find new connections. I've seriously considered having sex with all of them, or at least I can get turned on thinking about them in sexual situations. I don't know if it's because I'm bisexual, or if it's because I get feelings of love and sex confused. I've never expressed this to anyone, and I've never acted on any of these impulses. I just know that if I ever got drunk/stoned enough around any of them, and there was a weird moment where that seemed possible, I'd be really into making out with them and getting them off. It's super creepy; I know. Maybe it's just a weird glitch in my brain where I love these people and they're not related to me, so that's how I should show them just how deeply I feel for them. Ugh. I'm creeping myself out. Some things sound really fucked up outside your own head.
13. I started masturbating at around 12, via shower nozzle, which is still a pretty solid method. I have a sizable box of dildos and vibrators and I love them all dearly. I'm very snobby and nerdy about sex toys. I could work in a high-end, feminist sex shop and be like one of the goddamned Geniuses at the Mac store. If someone were to inquire, I will happily talk to anyone about dildos in the same way I'd talk to anyone about computers. I actually know way more about dildos than I do computers, which is kind of sad.
14. The kinkiest thing I've ever done is fuck my ex-boyfriend up the ass with a strap-on. I wasn't very good at it. I liked the idea of it, though, and I'd like to get better at it, except I'd MUCH rather do it to a girl next time, only in her pussy as opposed to her ass. That idea turns me on, actually. I really wish I liked ass more. I feel like such a prude.
15. I wish I could have casual sex. I can have sex with people I care about but don't want to date (i.e. fuck-buddies), but the guy seems to get attached, and I can't stand causing people any kind of pain, so I stop having sex with them. I've only had this type of relationship once, though. I, personally, am totally capable of detaching and having sex with someone I know and like but don't want to be with seriously. I don't think I could have sex with strangers, because I'd be too scared of the unknown. I would love something uncomplicated sometimes, though.
16. My boyfriend has expressed to me that he not only would never have a threesome, but seriously judges people who would want a threesome. I think this is fucked up and really negative. I don't think I'd want to have a threesome with him, if he's going to have that attitude, but I think, in the right context and with the right people, a threesome would be fun. Realistically, though, I think this would be more fun in my head than in reality... but, really, who can say? All I know is that if the right opportunity presented itself, I would either try to convince him to do it/let me do it, or turn it down and be secretly resentful forever that he was so controlling about my sexual identity. Oh god, I sound like such an asshole. If this situation were reversed, I'd say, "What a dick. How dare he try and guilt me into a threesome?" Wait, would I? I don't even know. The point is that I'm scared of losing my sexual freedom, even though I've always been too scared to take full advantage of my sexual freedom whenever I've had it. Yeesh.
17. I'm sort of fascinated by porn, but none of it ever turns me on. It's more like going to the circus (I see a lot of it as grotesque and depressing). If they made porn that wasn't so cartoonishly garish, I might like it more. I'm usually turned on most by scenes in books and films. I also like written erotica if it's written well and has a solid, satisfying, plausible story. I now realize that I sound like a snobby, judgmental asshole a lot. That's probably because I am a snobby, judgmental asshole. Hopefully this will change in the future when I've gathered enough life experience to see things from more perspectives than my own narrow, constantly-terrified-of-life one.
18. I don't have any specific fantasies, really. This is mainly because my fantasies need to be as complex, engaging, and logically air-tight as a novel in order for them to interest me. This invariably leads to me trying to dream up an entire, fully-formed character to have sex with (to START with), and then falling asleep with my hand down my pants about ten minutes in. I can really only come if my mind is blank and all I'm focusing on is coming. Anything else is just a distraction.
19. I may not have actual fantasies, but I do have specific head spaces that I would like to get to during sex, and I can try and communicate what those places are and try to get them to get me there. This has never been successful, because I am as cryptic as an experimental director when I try to explain myself, due to shyness and crippling self-doubt about my own ideas. I'll say stuff like, "Make me feel small," but I won't explain much more than that. I am trying to write these things down so I can get better at articulating them and know how to ask for what I want.
20. I really, really want to do role-play scenarios. My boyfriend only knows this one scenario that his ex-girlfriend was into, which had him playing a burglar and breaking into the house to rape her. That doesn't really do it for me, and his ideas of a hot role-playing scenario never drift far from that tone. Considering he loves to ruthlessly dominate women and make them cry during sex, he must have something in him that goes deeper than "I just like the power" to draw from. Again, I have to man up and really ask myself what I want and learn how to ask for that instead of shitting all over other people's fantasies.
21. I always try to get to the darkest psychological places in people. I want to see how bad it gets in there so I know what I'm dealing with. I'm also curious; it's like rooting around in cobweb-covered boxes in people's basements. I want to see all the skeletons and all the decay so I know what I'm facing underneath the everyday disguise. In the sexual sense, this means that I try to coax the dark, sticky, very secret side out of whoever I'm involved with. I don't judge unless I feel like their fantasy is going to put me in some kind of danger, like if I'm dating someone who's really into beating people. If their fantasy is something like beating people, though, I try to find out about it as early into the relationship as possible for my own safety. I find it very unsettling not knowing how deep a lover's perversions go. I don't want to end up in a horror movie plot/true crime novel one day.
22 …and at the same time, I pick men who are emotionally damaged and prone to some pretty dark shit. By being submissive sexually, I think I fetishize my fear and try to feel like I'm in control by deciding to be turned on by, and thus take control of, the things I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of the unknown element that is pure male sexuality. I'm afraid of its potential violence and darkness. At the same time, a little of that is a huge turn-on. I just want to play with that energy in a way that feels like theater. I want someone who understands the difference between a pretend power war and a real one. I love the visceral punch to the psyche that s&m role-play provides, but I don't like physical pain. This need is so complicated that I can't even come up with a fantasy that would sate it. I'm sort of grasping desperately in the darkness to understand my own shit.
23. I think I'm trying to use sex to try and sate all of my greater needs. I use it like food, or books, or religion. I need sexual experiences to have the power to reach the depths of my soul and drag things screaming to the surface. I think in pursuing this, I suck my lovers dry. I want too much out of them; I want our souls to fuck each other. I'm trying to fill a way bigger hole than is realistic. Also, I think people's sexual selves are the windows into their souls. I NEED to know people sexually so I know who they really are. That's where all the wounds and scars and dreams collect in people. I want to heal those wounds and scars and liberate those dreams. ...With my vagina.
24. The only reason I don't top is that I'm lazy. I think, though, that if I got into it, I'd be a good top. I'd be a very playful top, though, not a scary one. Alas, my current boyfriend has serious issues with being controlled and would NEVER let me top him. This is an example of one's sexuality being a home for all of one's deepest issues and scars. I want to get to the bottom of it with him so he can get to a place where his sexual world doesn't have to be so violent and angry all the time. Some playfulness in sex would do him good.
25. I feel like I have so much sexual exploration ahead of me. Even if I never involve other people outside my current relationship, I want to try lots of different things. I want to experience many types of sexuality; I want to play with that energy and experience different sexual points of view; different head spaces. I know I will take this very far in the future, and I hope my boyfriend can come along with me on this journey, and I hope he doesn't try to put my sexuality in a box, seal it up, and label it "his" like all the other men have in my past. I probably should have gotten into that more here. Oh, well.
2. I've had sex with three men. I lost my virginity at 22 to my first real boyfriend. I instinctively knew that this guy was sort of a dick and really into himself, so I never told him that he was my first, as I knew he would use it as some sort of power play against me somehow. We didn't date for very long. The only reason I chose him as my first was that he was demonstrating very intense feelings for me, and I figured he was good for helping me get it over with.
3. I've actually never told ANYONE that I lost my virginity at 22. I've been telling people 18, and now if I go back on it, I look like an ass. I used to lie about my sexual experience a lot when I was a teenager, so I've still got lies from then that I feel I need to keep going. I feel really stupid about this.
4. I've always been very sex-obsessed, but very introverted, so no one really knows that side of me. No one really knows any side of me, really, except for the very few I keep close. Once I feel comfortable with someone, though, the dam bursts and I become a total over-sharer. I love talking about sex and sexuality with people, especially people I'm trying to fuck. Nothing turns me on quite like a great conversation loaded with sexual tension with someone who's reeeaally good at it (conversation, I mean). I also love having conversations about sex with female friends, who I'm also probably subconsciously trying to fuck. I don't know what that's about yet.
5. That's really the only way I know how to flirt with people. I'm painfully awful at being all coy and girly and giggly. We'll talk about music or what have you, I'll get us both a little drunk, then start casually slip something suggestive into the conversation in a one-of-the-boys way. Something like, "Why do girls in porn always do (x)?", or "Huh, that (obscure sexual activity)'s interesting. Have you ever done that?" or what have you. This steers the conversation to sex. If they don't strike me as a douchebag all the way through this conversation, I will awkwardly suggest sex. This, graceless as it may be, usually works. I wish I was less awkward.
6. I suppose I'm kinky, but I think I'm too lazy to be properly kinky. I love being dominated, and the more psychological and mentally stimulating something is sexually, the more I respond to it. I'm not that into physical pain or having anything done to my ass (Yet! I'm trying to work on that), though, so that really limits that type of thing. I like being tied up and spanked and teased and made to feel like a dirty whore/stupid little girl (Not literal little girl. You know what I mean. Right?)/object and all that, though, as long as we're both on-board that it's all make-believe and I know the guy cares deeply about me.
7. I really like watching men I'm attracted to jack off and come, preferably on me. Part of this might be the fact that they're sort of marking me. The other part of this is that I MADE them come. It's like getting a gold star; it's physical proof of an achievement, but also of my desirability. I might possibly have self-esteem issues.
8. I really used to get turned on by tormented, scathingly hilarious, brilliant, acid-tongued, fucked-up dudes who would be really mean to me in bed. Then I started dating one of those dudes, and thankfully it quashed that particular craving. Well, mostly. I do ask my current boyfriend to be mean to me in bed sometimes, as I referenced in #6.
9. My current boyfriend is impossibly sweet, but is also really toppy and loves to dominate. That's crazily hot to me. He's also slightly androgynous, which really turns me on. The fact that we could literally share clothes really turns me on. He has a baby deer-like innocence about him that makes me feel like I'm going to corrupt/break his tender, beautiful soul.
10. I had a life-altering thing with my art professor when I was 19. He was the film "Henry and June" personified, complete with the occasional hackyness and cloying pretentiousness. Still, he knew how to talk (and talk to me about me) in a way that shook me to my core and stroked my ego in the most intoxicating way. It was everything I've ever wanted anyone to say to me, and all in that heady, calculatingly seductive artspeak language. I knew he'd be amazing in bed, and know just what to say and do to blow my goddamned mind. He was also married, thirty-odd years older, and kind of gross. I didn't fuck him (didn't fuck anyone until I was 22, remember? Much too scared). There was an obscene amount of tension between us when I was in his class (I took aaalllll of his classes). Then, there was the three-month-long overseas e-mail extravaganza (he had moved to Paris, of course) that danced around the elephant in the room but didn't address it directly until the very end, when he sent me a dirty e-mail that was quite underwhelming considering the rich and unceasing tension that had lead up to it. I had a moment of clarity, realized I didn't want to fuck him ever, and said, basically, "Hey, you're married. This is fucked up," and he, naturally, became extremely mean to me. I don't blame him; I mindfucked him royally. I was a teenager, though. I didn't know anything. Regardless of the way it ended, I still measure all relationships by the way this thing made me feel in the beginning, which is unfair and amazingly unhealthy.
11. My fetish for teachers has something to do with this. I fetishize old-timey Professor archetypes the same way some men fetishize Catholic school girls. I'm talking about slightly older (30s-40s) men who wear tweed coats, elbow patches, glasses, are elegant, well-read, filthy-minded; basically a pervy version of Giles from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I have fantasies that involve being topped by these types of dudes. I don't care if it's clichéd; clichés like that exist for a goddamned good reason.
12. Addressing something I brought up in #4, I've always kind of had a crush on all of my best female friends. I'm the kind of person who has one obsessive best friend at a time, and when the intensity of it burns out, we drift apart and find new connections. I've seriously considered having sex with all of them, or at least I can get turned on thinking about them in sexual situations. I don't know if it's because I'm bisexual, or if it's because I get feelings of love and sex confused. I've never expressed this to anyone, and I've never acted on any of these impulses. I just know that if I ever got drunk/stoned enough around any of them, and there was a weird moment where that seemed possible, I'd be really into making out with them and getting them off. It's super creepy; I know. Maybe it's just a weird glitch in my brain where I love these people and they're not related to me, so that's how I should show them just how deeply I feel for them. Ugh. I'm creeping myself out. Some things sound really fucked up outside your own head.
13. I started masturbating at around 12, via shower nozzle, which is still a pretty solid method. I have a sizable box of dildos and vibrators and I love them all dearly. I'm very snobby and nerdy about sex toys. I could work in a high-end, feminist sex shop and be like one of the goddamned Geniuses at the Mac store. If someone were to inquire, I will happily talk to anyone about dildos in the same way I'd talk to anyone about computers. I actually know way more about dildos than I do computers, which is kind of sad.
14. The kinkiest thing I've ever done is fuck my ex-boyfriend up the ass with a strap-on. I wasn't very good at it. I liked the idea of it, though, and I'd like to get better at it, except I'd MUCH rather do it to a girl next time, only in her pussy as opposed to her ass. That idea turns me on, actually. I really wish I liked ass more. I feel like such a prude.
15. I wish I could have casual sex. I can have sex with people I care about but don't want to date (i.e. fuck-buddies), but the guy seems to get attached, and I can't stand causing people any kind of pain, so I stop having sex with them. I've only had this type of relationship once, though. I, personally, am totally capable of detaching and having sex with someone I know and like but don't want to be with seriously. I don't think I could have sex with strangers, because I'd be too scared of the unknown. I would love something uncomplicated sometimes, though.
16. My boyfriend has expressed to me that he not only would never have a threesome, but seriously judges people who would want a threesome. I think this is fucked up and really negative. I don't think I'd want to have a threesome with him, if he's going to have that attitude, but I think, in the right context and with the right people, a threesome would be fun. Realistically, though, I think this would be more fun in my head than in reality... but, really, who can say? All I know is that if the right opportunity presented itself, I would either try to convince him to do it/let me do it, or turn it down and be secretly resentful forever that he was so controlling about my sexual identity. Oh god, I sound like such an asshole. If this situation were reversed, I'd say, "What a dick. How dare he try and guilt me into a threesome?" Wait, would I? I don't even know. The point is that I'm scared of losing my sexual freedom, even though I've always been too scared to take full advantage of my sexual freedom whenever I've had it. Yeesh.
17. I'm sort of fascinated by porn, but none of it ever turns me on. It's more like going to the circus (I see a lot of it as grotesque and depressing). If they made porn that wasn't so cartoonishly garish, I might like it more. I'm usually turned on most by scenes in books and films. I also like written erotica if it's written well and has a solid, satisfying, plausible story. I now realize that I sound like a snobby, judgmental asshole a lot. That's probably because I am a snobby, judgmental asshole. Hopefully this will change in the future when I've gathered enough life experience to see things from more perspectives than my own narrow, constantly-terrified-of-life one.
18. I don't have any specific fantasies, really. This is mainly because my fantasies need to be as complex, engaging, and logically air-tight as a novel in order for them to interest me. This invariably leads to me trying to dream up an entire, fully-formed character to have sex with (to START with), and then falling asleep with my hand down my pants about ten minutes in. I can really only come if my mind is blank and all I'm focusing on is coming. Anything else is just a distraction.
19. I may not have actual fantasies, but I do have specific head spaces that I would like to get to during sex, and I can try and communicate what those places are and try to get them to get me there. This has never been successful, because I am as cryptic as an experimental director when I try to explain myself, due to shyness and crippling self-doubt about my own ideas. I'll say stuff like, "Make me feel small," but I won't explain much more than that. I am trying to write these things down so I can get better at articulating them and know how to ask for what I want.
20. I really, really want to do role-play scenarios. My boyfriend only knows this one scenario that his ex-girlfriend was into, which had him playing a burglar and breaking into the house to rape her. That doesn't really do it for me, and his ideas of a hot role-playing scenario never drift far from that tone. Considering he loves to ruthlessly dominate women and make them cry during sex, he must have something in him that goes deeper than "I just like the power" to draw from. Again, I have to man up and really ask myself what I want and learn how to ask for that instead of shitting all over other people's fantasies.
21. I always try to get to the darkest psychological places in people. I want to see how bad it gets in there so I know what I'm dealing with. I'm also curious; it's like rooting around in cobweb-covered boxes in people's basements. I want to see all the skeletons and all the decay so I know what I'm facing underneath the everyday disguise. In the sexual sense, this means that I try to coax the dark, sticky, very secret side out of whoever I'm involved with. I don't judge unless I feel like their fantasy is going to put me in some kind of danger, like if I'm dating someone who's really into beating people. If their fantasy is something like beating people, though, I try to find out about it as early into the relationship as possible for my own safety. I find it very unsettling not knowing how deep a lover's perversions go. I don't want to end up in a horror movie plot/true crime novel one day.
22 …and at the same time, I pick men who are emotionally damaged and prone to some pretty dark shit. By being submissive sexually, I think I fetishize my fear and try to feel like I'm in control by deciding to be turned on by, and thus take control of, the things I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of the unknown element that is pure male sexuality. I'm afraid of its potential violence and darkness. At the same time, a little of that is a huge turn-on. I just want to play with that energy in a way that feels like theater. I want someone who understands the difference between a pretend power war and a real one. I love the visceral punch to the psyche that s&m role-play provides, but I don't like physical pain. This need is so complicated that I can't even come up with a fantasy that would sate it. I'm sort of grasping desperately in the darkness to understand my own shit.
23. I think I'm trying to use sex to try and sate all of my greater needs. I use it like food, or books, or religion. I need sexual experiences to have the power to reach the depths of my soul and drag things screaming to the surface. I think in pursuing this, I suck my lovers dry. I want too much out of them; I want our souls to fuck each other. I'm trying to fill a way bigger hole than is realistic. Also, I think people's sexual selves are the windows into their souls. I NEED to know people sexually so I know who they really are. That's where all the wounds and scars and dreams collect in people. I want to heal those wounds and scars and liberate those dreams. ...With my vagina.
24. The only reason I don't top is that I'm lazy. I think, though, that if I got into it, I'd be a good top. I'd be a very playful top, though, not a scary one. Alas, my current boyfriend has serious issues with being controlled and would NEVER let me top him. This is an example of one's sexuality being a home for all of one's deepest issues and scars. I want to get to the bottom of it with him so he can get to a place where his sexual world doesn't have to be so violent and angry all the time. Some playfulness in sex would do him good.
25. I feel like I have so much sexual exploration ahead of me. Even if I never involve other people outside my current relationship, I want to try lots of different things. I want to experience many types of sexuality; I want to play with that energy and experience different sexual points of view; different head spaces. I know I will take this very far in the future, and I hope my boyfriend can come along with me on this journey, and I hope he doesn't try to put my sexuality in a box, seal it up, and label it "his" like all the other men have in my past. I probably should have gotten into that more here. Oh, well.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
1. I'm a 20-year-old non-virgin, and I know quite little about sex.
2. I don't really like watching porn, except if it is lesbian porn. I'm a girl of words, so I prefer written erotica; in fact, it turns me on sometimes.
3. Based on my past relationships, I'm straight, but I can't deny my attraction to girls. Sometimes, depending on the person, I say I am bisexual.
4. I do not own a sex toy yet, but I want to get one before I'm 21.
5. I kissed a girl once, and I cannot tell if I really liked it.
6. I fantasize about sex with one of my closest friends. Her lips look ah!-mazing.
7. I've had sex with only 2 guys. I got introduced by the first, and the second schooled me a bit.
8. I am extremely attracted to myself, and I sometimes fantasize about myself.
9. I got my first oral sex while I was 19 from my second. I love it, and it took that long because my first did not like the smell of pussy.
10. I still want to have sex with my first, and we fucked for a while after we broke up. Actually pretty much until the second and I mentioned the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend."
11. I have forgotten how just kissing feels, and this Barbados boy is teaching me. The guys I fucked turned me on from kissing, and I love to move fast to the sex part.
12. I have never had a threesome but I constantly think about it. I share that with a lot of guys I have something with. I want one with m/f/me or f/f/me.
13. I'm a cynical romantic, so I like to move straight to sex (not a big fan of foreplay, although I'm a tease), but I love/ appreciate little romantic gestures.
14. There are so many places I want to have sex. In one word, EVERYWHERE.
15. I love sex, but contrary to what my partners may think, I'm entirely independent of it, although some days, I get this insane craving.
16. I masturbate, but not really. While it is fun, just remember the orgasms I gave myself, what was I typing? Refer to #15 and #4 for why I hardly masturbate.
17. I've been told that I flirt a lot, although most times I am totally oblivious to it until I see the effects or I am told about it. I still do not believe I can flirt, but then I've been given high flirting ratings by my friends.
18. I have this cute innocent face, and this has driven my fantasies. Some involve older men (like forties), but most always end up getting back to women. I want a cougar.
19. I have a really perverted mind, and I find sexual references in the least obvious plain words.
20. My first told me that I give a mean BJ. I don't know if this has to do with the fact that we love each other, but I do put my all to giving BJs. And I do not like men to give me BJs, except that they turn me on and help with my self-fantasies.
21. I do not have a compiled list of people I will fuck, but most times when i refer to a person as hot, I basically want to fuck them.
22. When I'm talking to a guy and my eyes wander to his crotch area, I like to imagine the size of his dick, if it is not already obvious from his bulge, and imagine it going deep in me.
23. I still have religious conflict with my love for sex and my non-virgin status.
24. While kissing, I'm not a big fan of exchanging saliva (germ issues), and I used to love kissing. I've kissed, I think, six people. I do not keep count.
25. I love walking about my house naked.
2. I don't really like watching porn, except if it is lesbian porn. I'm a girl of words, so I prefer written erotica; in fact, it turns me on sometimes.
3. Based on my past relationships, I'm straight, but I can't deny my attraction to girls. Sometimes, depending on the person, I say I am bisexual.
4. I do not own a sex toy yet, but I want to get one before I'm 21.
5. I kissed a girl once, and I cannot tell if I really liked it.
6. I fantasize about sex with one of my closest friends. Her lips look ah!-mazing.
7. I've had sex with only 2 guys. I got introduced by the first, and the second schooled me a bit.
8. I am extremely attracted to myself, and I sometimes fantasize about myself.
9. I got my first oral sex while I was 19 from my second. I love it, and it took that long because my first did not like the smell of pussy.
10. I still want to have sex with my first, and we fucked for a while after we broke up. Actually pretty much until the second and I mentioned the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend."
11. I have forgotten how just kissing feels, and this Barbados boy is teaching me. The guys I fucked turned me on from kissing, and I love to move fast to the sex part.
12. I have never had a threesome but I constantly think about it. I share that with a lot of guys I have something with. I want one with m/f/me or f/f/me.
13. I'm a cynical romantic, so I like to move straight to sex (not a big fan of foreplay, although I'm a tease), but I love/ appreciate little romantic gestures.
14. There are so many places I want to have sex. In one word, EVERYWHERE.
15. I love sex, but contrary to what my partners may think, I'm entirely independent of it, although some days, I get this insane craving.
16. I masturbate, but not really. While it is fun, just remember the orgasms I gave myself, what was I typing? Refer to #15 and #4 for why I hardly masturbate.
17. I've been told that I flirt a lot, although most times I am totally oblivious to it until I see the effects or I am told about it. I still do not believe I can flirt, but then I've been given high flirting ratings by my friends.
18. I have this cute innocent face, and this has driven my fantasies. Some involve older men (like forties), but most always end up getting back to women. I want a cougar.
19. I have a really perverted mind, and I find sexual references in the least obvious plain words.
20. My first told me that I give a mean BJ. I don't know if this has to do with the fact that we love each other, but I do put my all to giving BJs. And I do not like men to give me BJs, except that they turn me on and help with my self-fantasies.
21. I do not have a compiled list of people I will fuck, but most times when i refer to a person as hot, I basically want to fuck them.
22. When I'm talking to a guy and my eyes wander to his crotch area, I like to imagine the size of his dick, if it is not already obvious from his bulge, and imagine it going deep in me.
23. I still have religious conflict with my love for sex and my non-virgin status.
24. While kissing, I'm not a big fan of exchanging saliva (germ issues), and I used to love kissing. I've kissed, I think, six people. I do not keep count.
25. I love walking about my house naked.
Friday, January 20, 2012
1. I’m an 18-year-old man attracted to men.
2. I was first introduced to sex at 12. I had a friend the same age as me; he asked if I wanted a blowjob. Essentially, I shrugged my shoulders and consented. It led to me returning the favor. I didn’t think much of it at the time. In retrospect, I might have realized that a) I enjoyed this activity a lot, and not just how it felt physically, and b) he must have been exposed to sexual content at a very young age. Who knows how long he’d been wanting to test out something sexual?
3. We continued casual oral sex and hand jobs for years. We were never in a romantic relationship, and it frustrated me. There was no way that I could even begin to describe my feelings. I wasn’t sure of them, myself.
4. In middle school I started to realize that I found men attractive. I was also somewhat attracted to women, and this fed my denial. I didn’t have a sudden epiphany; any thoughts like, “Oh, my God, I’m gay,” were instantaneously suppressed, as if I was afraid someone would read my mind. At some point I came to the conclusion that all guys were just pretending to be completely straight, that everyone was actively hiding a communal bisexuality, and that gender was a performance.
5. In eighth grade, I had a crush on a girl. She was the type that had no real friends, wasn’t very pretty, and got picked on a lot. Through the fact that we both liked the same band and that I wanted to protect her from bullies, I convinced myself I was in love. This further shut out my impending homosexuality. I fantasized about her romantically: never sexually. That year I began to search for homoerotic pictures on the internet, again telling myself that all guys were pretending to be straight. The fear of my classmates thinking I was gay was at an all time high. I realized that my "love" for this girl was a sham, and finally thought of myself as gay.
6. Honestly, I don’t think I’m gay: not in the strictest sense. Through tons of self-reflection, I think that I was born bisexual, hit puberty, and my sexuality naturally shifted closer to homosexuality. I’m still slightly attracted to women, particularly their breasts, though not nearly as much as a man’s body. I don’t think that I could ever be sexually attracted to a woman enough to be in a relationship, so I usually identify as "gay" to be brief.
7. Despite my appreciation for breasts, I don’t personally like nipple play in any shape or form. It’s not easy for me to be stimulated during sex through my nipples.
8. I’m a bit of a voyeur. I don’t really appreciate sites where you’re supposedly watching someone masturbate that’s totally clueless that he’s being watched. What I really like is watching a man sleep. There’s something amazing about it. They’re adorable, but at the same time masculine and peaceful. A sleeping beauty...
9. I’m submissive. I like the feeling of being dominated, but not in a violent way. I love men who are confident and take control. I kind of like the idea of being a "damsel in distress," even though it’s silly. It’s a sort of knight-in-shining-armor complex.
10. I’m not a sadist, and I’m not a masochist. Like I said before, I don’t like being dominated in a violent way. However, I don’t mind being handled roughly and even something along the lines of spanking isn’t past my limits.
11. I didn’t always like penises. When I first began to look at pictures of men on the internet, I avoided the full-frontal ones. It might have been part of my denial, but I just found them ugly and unattractive. I’m much more excited by them now.
12. I prefer girth over length. For some reason, when a guy has a thicker penis it looks a lot manlier to me than if a guy has a longer one.
13. Even though I can be a little defensive of my space at times, I crave physical contact with men. A warm hug or embrace is really much more effective to me than encouraging words.
14. I’ve never liked the look of extremely slender men. It might stem from the fact that I’m so thin myself, but I prefer men who are muscular, a bit heavyset, or both.
15. I first masturbated sometime after I had my sexual encounter with my friend. It was an attempt to imitate the oral sex with my hand; I was so young that I didn’t even know what masturbation was.
16. I now masturbate daily. I usually do so just before I go to sleep. Most of the time, I find porn to watch, but sometimes I masturbate without using the computer.
17. I dislike porn that looks faked. If the actors seem to be there for a casual fuck and don’t put anything into it, I look for something else. The best pornography has actors who make love, and express their love in front of the camera.
18. Straight porn is my guilty pleasure; I’ve found sites that show compassionate actors and actresses, some real loving couples (apparently), and if it seems authentic, I’ll take it over sketchier gay porn.
19. Hairy men don’t bother me most of the time. Some men look much better with chest hair, for example, but for others, it’s excessive. I think that a healthy medium is best.
20. I love jockstraps. Men that can’t fill out their jockstraps well remind me of deflated balloons. Considering the fact that I prefer girth, it’s no surprise that I love when a guy’s bulge shows that he has it.
21. I’ve never had anal sex, though I’m sure I’d prefer to be the "bottom." I am submissive, after all.
22. Breathing in my ear turns me on. I’m not sure why. Sometimes very close whispers will produce the same effect. I was once held down by a friend and for some reason he started to blow into my ear. It tickled me, but I had to hide an erection for half an hour afterwards.
23. My abdomen, just above the pubic area, is a huge erogenous zone for me. I can’t keep myself from rubbing it when I masturbate. With the combination of my submissive nature, my craving for physical contact, and my sensitive ears and abdomen, if a man stood close behind me, sensually rubbed my abdomen, and whispered into my ear, he would have me wrapped around his finger.
24. I’m on the fence about fisting. I’m almost 100% sure that I would never participate in it myself, but watching it can be exhilarating. In many ways, a man’s fist is the ultimate representation of girth.
25. I’m sure it’s not the same for everyone, but I know from experience that my sexuality is fluid, at least to an extent. I don’t think it’ll ever shift back to bisexuality, but who knows? Maybe my tastes will change with experience. Only time will tell.
2. I was first introduced to sex at 12. I had a friend the same age as me; he asked if I wanted a blowjob. Essentially, I shrugged my shoulders and consented. It led to me returning the favor. I didn’t think much of it at the time. In retrospect, I might have realized that a) I enjoyed this activity a lot, and not just how it felt physically, and b) he must have been exposed to sexual content at a very young age. Who knows how long he’d been wanting to test out something sexual?
3. We continued casual oral sex and hand jobs for years. We were never in a romantic relationship, and it frustrated me. There was no way that I could even begin to describe my feelings. I wasn’t sure of them, myself.
4. In middle school I started to realize that I found men attractive. I was also somewhat attracted to women, and this fed my denial. I didn’t have a sudden epiphany; any thoughts like, “Oh, my God, I’m gay,” were instantaneously suppressed, as if I was afraid someone would read my mind. At some point I came to the conclusion that all guys were just pretending to be completely straight, that everyone was actively hiding a communal bisexuality, and that gender was a performance.
5. In eighth grade, I had a crush on a girl. She was the type that had no real friends, wasn’t very pretty, and got picked on a lot. Through the fact that we both liked the same band and that I wanted to protect her from bullies, I convinced myself I was in love. This further shut out my impending homosexuality. I fantasized about her romantically: never sexually. That year I began to search for homoerotic pictures on the internet, again telling myself that all guys were pretending to be straight. The fear of my classmates thinking I was gay was at an all time high. I realized that my "love" for this girl was a sham, and finally thought of myself as gay.
6. Honestly, I don’t think I’m gay: not in the strictest sense. Through tons of self-reflection, I think that I was born bisexual, hit puberty, and my sexuality naturally shifted closer to homosexuality. I’m still slightly attracted to women, particularly their breasts, though not nearly as much as a man’s body. I don’t think that I could ever be sexually attracted to a woman enough to be in a relationship, so I usually identify as "gay" to be brief.
7. Despite my appreciation for breasts, I don’t personally like nipple play in any shape or form. It’s not easy for me to be stimulated during sex through my nipples.
8. I’m a bit of a voyeur. I don’t really appreciate sites where you’re supposedly watching someone masturbate that’s totally clueless that he’s being watched. What I really like is watching a man sleep. There’s something amazing about it. They’re adorable, but at the same time masculine and peaceful. A sleeping beauty...
9. I’m submissive. I like the feeling of being dominated, but not in a violent way. I love men who are confident and take control. I kind of like the idea of being a "damsel in distress," even though it’s silly. It’s a sort of knight-in-shining-armor complex.
10. I’m not a sadist, and I’m not a masochist. Like I said before, I don’t like being dominated in a violent way. However, I don’t mind being handled roughly and even something along the lines of spanking isn’t past my limits.
11. I didn’t always like penises. When I first began to look at pictures of men on the internet, I avoided the full-frontal ones. It might have been part of my denial, but I just found them ugly and unattractive. I’m much more excited by them now.
12. I prefer girth over length. For some reason, when a guy has a thicker penis it looks a lot manlier to me than if a guy has a longer one.
13. Even though I can be a little defensive of my space at times, I crave physical contact with men. A warm hug or embrace is really much more effective to me than encouraging words.
14. I’ve never liked the look of extremely slender men. It might stem from the fact that I’m so thin myself, but I prefer men who are muscular, a bit heavyset, or both.
15. I first masturbated sometime after I had my sexual encounter with my friend. It was an attempt to imitate the oral sex with my hand; I was so young that I didn’t even know what masturbation was.
16. I now masturbate daily. I usually do so just before I go to sleep. Most of the time, I find porn to watch, but sometimes I masturbate without using the computer.
17. I dislike porn that looks faked. If the actors seem to be there for a casual fuck and don’t put anything into it, I look for something else. The best pornography has actors who make love, and express their love in front of the camera.
18. Straight porn is my guilty pleasure; I’ve found sites that show compassionate actors and actresses, some real loving couples (apparently), and if it seems authentic, I’ll take it over sketchier gay porn.
19. Hairy men don’t bother me most of the time. Some men look much better with chest hair, for example, but for others, it’s excessive. I think that a healthy medium is best.
20. I love jockstraps. Men that can’t fill out their jockstraps well remind me of deflated balloons. Considering the fact that I prefer girth, it’s no surprise that I love when a guy’s bulge shows that he has it.
21. I’ve never had anal sex, though I’m sure I’d prefer to be the "bottom." I am submissive, after all.
22. Breathing in my ear turns me on. I’m not sure why. Sometimes very close whispers will produce the same effect. I was once held down by a friend and for some reason he started to blow into my ear. It tickled me, but I had to hide an erection for half an hour afterwards.
23. My abdomen, just above the pubic area, is a huge erogenous zone for me. I can’t keep myself from rubbing it when I masturbate. With the combination of my submissive nature, my craving for physical contact, and my sensitive ears and abdomen, if a man stood close behind me, sensually rubbed my abdomen, and whispered into my ear, he would have me wrapped around his finger.
24. I’m on the fence about fisting. I’m almost 100% sure that I would never participate in it myself, but watching it can be exhilarating. In many ways, a man’s fist is the ultimate representation of girth.
25. I’m sure it’s not the same for everyone, but I know from experience that my sexuality is fluid, at least to an extent. I don’t think it’ll ever shift back to bisexuality, but who knows? Maybe my tastes will change with experience. Only time will tell.
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