1. I am a 22 year old female who loves being feminine and all that goes with it. ...but I still know how to get dirty (literally and figuratively) when required.
2. I am very confident in my sexual abilities and embrace my sexuality. I have only been insecure about sex twice - the first time and again with a recent partner (both times because I wasn't sure what I was doing... recently because it was my first foray into foreskin) and I definitely think insecurity about sex has a negative impact on the experience for both parties involved.
3. I started masturbating in earnest around the age of 11. Before that I would always play with myself because it felt good, but nothing ever came of it. Being a curious child I was exploring some 'growing up' books in the library and it talked of masturbation and I decided to try to orgasm. I remember it took me several tries until I got it but I still remember that exact moment to this day and remember being afraid my mum would catch me.
4. After that point it was off to the races! As a young girl I would get myself off everywhere, and I do mean everwhere - school, sleepovers, while sharing a tent with my siblings, in the car with my family, while watching TV with people... odds are if I ever slept over at your house in my youth I have gotten off there. It hasn't stopped with getting older - I have masturbated at every workplace, every school, my friends' workplaces, houses, bathrooms, tanning beds, public pools, parents' beds, etc., and on in a never-ending list. I fucking love being a girl!
5. Sometimes I would do this while sharing a bed with a girlfriend and homoerotic fantasies would dominate my thoughts. There was one friend that would do it too, while we were in the same bed. We were 13.
6. I had my first boyfriend when I was 12, and he was 16. I was so scared and so turned on that I wouldn't let him kiss me. We only dated for a few months.
7. My first kiss happened while playing spin-the-bottle at 15.
8. Most of high school I was scared of boys and absolutely terrifed of intimacy, though not the physical kind. I definitely pushed people away because I was too scared of depending on someone. To this day I always avoid hand-holding and eye-contact during sex because I find them too emotionally intimate.
9. I fooled around with a couple people in high school, but didn't have sex. One was a friend's younger cousin at a party and he ended up cumming in my eye while I was giving my first blow-job... warning is always appreciated! He also scratched my vulva while fingering me, so hard it bled. Definitely not the best experience.
10. Another in high school was a rugby boy visiting from England. Turns out he was engaged.
11. While in my final year of high school I went and visited a friend who was going to University. There was a big party and I ended up going home with this guy and gave him head. He was a vegetarian and I still think about how sweet his cum tasted (best I've ever had) and how amazing fooling around with him was because I was bossy and we both loved it. I have never not swallowed since then.
12. I lost my virginity at the age of 19 on a second date. I'm not proud about the circumstances under which I lost it but I firmly believe in no regrets! How, you ask? Well, it was in the handicapped washroom of a club... I still don't know how it progressed that far, that fast, but it was a rush and to be honest I was anxious to finally have sex because I had given up on all that 'waiting for love' crap. And, well, it was disappointing.
13. The next person I slept with was a few months later and his cock was big (very girthy and long). We had sex several times and the next day I could feel how bruised my cervix was and it was the best reminder of how awesome a night we had. One of my favourite things is after-sex soreness that follows you for a day or two - a physical memory of the sweat and strain and pleasure.
14. I had a dalliance with a (10 years, not that much!) older man - which, to 19-year-old me felt wonderfully taboo. It was lovely and spontaneous and we would do things like meet in the park at midnight to make out in the rain. One night while I was at his house he forced me to have sex with him (we hadn't had sex yet)... I remember yelling no and trying to get him off of me, but with him at 6ft7 I was no match. I didn't talk to him again and I avoid any potential contact. Afterwards I was so embarassed and ashamed I didn't tell anyone for 3 years and have only just started to talk about it after a close friend of mine was raped - it was at that point that I realized that keeping it a secret was giving him even more power over me. I am now terrified of dating and would much rather just have sex as soon as possible with whomever my interest is, with me initiating it, so I don't have to feel so powerless again. I definitely push people away now because I am afraid to like them and the consequences that would bring.
15. I've only had one serious relationship - it lasted 2 years - and it was completely formative to the person I am today because I actually let myself love someone else. I broke up with him for many reasons. To be honest one of the reasons was because I had a much higher sex drive and was more spontaneous, adventurous and daring in the sack than he was willing to be. For example, I used to be upset when we wouldn't have sex daily, or at least 5ish times a week while he could be content with once or twice. [Side note:This trait of mine also makes it awkward being in FWB situations. I have trouble knowing the boundaries of how much sex should be expected... because I definitely get cranky when I can't have sex when I want].
16. And on that note - I have never found a guy who wants to have sex as much as I do and it is driving me crazy!! I mean, I love solo pleasure, but nothing beats a good fucking and the joy of being touched by another person.
17. The guy in 15 was also older, but only 5 years. He had a lot more experience than me. I realize it now, but his penis was pretty much the perfect size.
18. Though he is the only person I have ever let myself love, I was too scared to 'make love' to him though we had plenty of sex. That is one of my only regrets... and I still am avoiding intimacy to this day, though I know it is something that I need to work on.
19. When I am aroused I tend to be incapable of judging or controlling my own strength, particularly when it comes to gripping, biting and scratching. I had my boyfriend's boss give me a pair of gloves for Christmas because I kept leaving bleeding scars all over his back and neck (...and thighs and ass and...). I've learned to tone it down, but sex isn't as much fun now!
20. I have slept with a man with a very small penis and also one with very large one (and I mean bigger than porn, scared out of your mind, think it's fake big - different than person in 13). Both were bad. Both made up for this by being fucking amazing at going down. I still think of how good they were and how hard they could make me cum multiples and squirt and their absolute voracity and attention to detail. A guy that is amazing at oral WINS in my book... because I like to get it as good as I give it.
21. Recently I realized that the biggest turn-off when hooking up with a guy is when they don't care about you getting off. Umm, hello? Yes I realize I'm wet! That does not mean it gets to go in right away! IT'S CALLED FOREPLAY - WHERE YOU PLAY WITH EACH OTHER BEFORE. I thought that was drilled into men's heads after the age of 17. Or at least help me take care of my needs after! ... Nothing quite like rubbing one out while the guy is asleep on your arm after sex. Selfishness = yuck all round. Aaaaand apparently I'm still worked up about the situation.
22. I really like giving blow-jobs and miss the feeling of a cock in my mouth. I've had many men tell me I'm their best.
23. I have been in some group hookup situations (MFF and MMFFF) and dang, were they fun. I wish more 'hardcore' stuff had happened in hindsight but also realize that would have ruined some of my good friendships.
24. I'm really attracted to women - not butch or androgynous girls, but pretty, feminine women. I've definitely been thinking about them alot and my experiences with women and I feel that my ideal relationship would involve full commitment to a man but having a girlfriend also.
25. Sex is fun. It's wet. It feels fucking amazing. It's messy and painful and sometimes stressful but always, always fun. And, it's all about the story... and how you tell it in the 'morning after recap'.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
1. I am a 19-year-old virgin. I can count the number of other virgins I know on one hand.
2. I've had the same boyfriend since I was sixteen. He was my first kiss and everything else too.
3. As an artist, I have seen more people naked than anyone else I know. I love nudity. It makes me feel trusted to have someone take their clothes off for me.
4. My mother also went to art school, so the first time she tried to explain to me about male genitals she drew them for me. I told her that “boy parts” looked like a proboscis monkey's face.
5. My first orgasm was accidental. I started to feel a kind of heat between my legs as I was reading a romance novel. I didn't know what it was at the time.
6. For the next few years, every time my parents would tell me to clean my room, I would lock myself in my room and masturbate instead.
7. I want to lose my virginity on my wedding night while listening to Jeff Buckley's “Grace.”
8. I've always fantasized about other women, but I consider myself straight. I just don't find guys as aesthetically pleasing. Then again, I think most labels are unnecessarily constricting.
9. It was several months before I would let my boyfriend touch me at all. I didn't trust him. Instead, I made him talk dirty to me over the phone. We don't talk dirty anymore, but there's not a part of my body he hasn't touched.
10. There were years that I would cover my ears and run away screaming if anyone mentioned the word “sex.”
11. It scares me a little how much I like the idea of being coerced into having sex. I don't want to be raped or anything, but being pinned down, having my hair grabbed, or other displays of dominance really turn me on.
12. I find pin-ups immensely sexy and empowering.
13. I secretly believe I could be in a polyamorous relationship. My boyfriend and I once made out in the same room as another couple. The lights were out, which only magnified the sound. It still turns me on to think about it.
14. The idea of having a threesome (or more-some, as they say) also turns me on. One of my favorite movies is “The Dreamers.”
15. I've always thought sex was really funny. I laughed the first time I saw a penis.
16. I've asked my boyfriend to dominate me so many times that now when I tell him I'm not in the mood to fool around, he just ignores me. It really turns me on, but it's also a little scary.
17. I liked to be spanked. Hard.
18. I collect vintage lingerie because I like the history attached to it. The best set I ever bought was from a burlesque dancer's garage sale.
19. I love kissing strangers, because everyone has a different style.
20. I don't trust that a penis could fit in my ass.
21. I have knock-down, drag-out, screaming, gushing, fucking amazing orgasms.
22. Sometimes I consider becoming a pornographer because traditional pornography is tacky, sexist, and disgusting and I think I could do so much better.
23. For me, fooling around is just that. Playing. I wrestle, bite, lick, growl and cuss. It's never felt “dirty” to me. It's always felt really innocent.
24. Ordering my boyfriend to get on his knees turns me on immensely.
25. I love the sounds that people make during sex (moaning, wet noises, kissing sounds, the sounds clothes and skin make) because I'm super loud when I come and I like to hear that same satisfaction from other people too.
2. I've had the same boyfriend since I was sixteen. He was my first kiss and everything else too.
3. As an artist, I have seen more people naked than anyone else I know. I love nudity. It makes me feel trusted to have someone take their clothes off for me.
4. My mother also went to art school, so the first time she tried to explain to me about male genitals she drew them for me. I told her that “boy parts” looked like a proboscis monkey's face.
5. My first orgasm was accidental. I started to feel a kind of heat between my legs as I was reading a romance novel. I didn't know what it was at the time.
6. For the next few years, every time my parents would tell me to clean my room, I would lock myself in my room and masturbate instead.
7. I want to lose my virginity on my wedding night while listening to Jeff Buckley's “Grace.”
8. I've always fantasized about other women, but I consider myself straight. I just don't find guys as aesthetically pleasing. Then again, I think most labels are unnecessarily constricting.
9. It was several months before I would let my boyfriend touch me at all. I didn't trust him. Instead, I made him talk dirty to me over the phone. We don't talk dirty anymore, but there's not a part of my body he hasn't touched.
10. There were years that I would cover my ears and run away screaming if anyone mentioned the word “sex.”
11. It scares me a little how much I like the idea of being coerced into having sex. I don't want to be raped or anything, but being pinned down, having my hair grabbed, or other displays of dominance really turn me on.
12. I find pin-ups immensely sexy and empowering.
13. I secretly believe I could be in a polyamorous relationship. My boyfriend and I once made out in the same room as another couple. The lights were out, which only magnified the sound. It still turns me on to think about it.
14. The idea of having a threesome (or more-some, as they say) also turns me on. One of my favorite movies is “The Dreamers.”
15. I've always thought sex was really funny. I laughed the first time I saw a penis.
16. I've asked my boyfriend to dominate me so many times that now when I tell him I'm not in the mood to fool around, he just ignores me. It really turns me on, but it's also a little scary.
17. I liked to be spanked. Hard.
18. I collect vintage lingerie because I like the history attached to it. The best set I ever bought was from a burlesque dancer's garage sale.
19. I love kissing strangers, because everyone has a different style.
20. I don't trust that a penis could fit in my ass.
21. I have knock-down, drag-out, screaming, gushing, fucking amazing orgasms.
22. Sometimes I consider becoming a pornographer because traditional pornography is tacky, sexist, and disgusting and I think I could do so much better.
23. For me, fooling around is just that. Playing. I wrestle, bite, lick, growl and cuss. It's never felt “dirty” to me. It's always felt really innocent.
24. Ordering my boyfriend to get on his knees turns me on immensely.
25. I love the sounds that people make during sex (moaning, wet noises, kissing sounds, the sounds clothes and skin make) because I'm super loud when I come and I like to hear that same satisfaction from other people too.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
1. My fantasy is to have sex with Willow Rosenberg and Dana Scully while the Rocky Horror Picture Show is playing in the background, and our bodies are shiny with massage oil to the point that we can slip between each other without any effort.
2. When I started masturbating at 11, I used to rub against a pillow with all my clothes on and I would have the most amazing orgasms. I haven’t had an orgasm like that since those days. Now, I feel good (amazing, even) but I never have that single moment of climax. This makes me worry that I will never be able to have a great orgasm again and I’ll have to go to sex therapy.
3. I’m an active feminist and I worry how my pubic hair looks constantly.
4. I watch porn or read erotica nearly every day, but I hardly ever masturbate.
5. I lost my virginity when I was 14 to my best friend, who is male. We experimented sexually for over two years. He believed we were in a relationship, even though he knew that I was a lesbian. The sex ruined our friendship, but I don’t regret any part of it. Even through all of it, I never had an orgasm like #2.
6. I wake up sometimes having dreamt that I had one of those #2 orgasms. I wonder if I actually had one in my sleep.
7. I adore women. I believe they are the most perfect creation on Earth; beautiful, soft, and caring. Women don’t like me. Men are attracted to me.
8. I think a brunette with a pixie cut dressed in dark green clothing would be my goddess, if one let me into their world.
9. I find myself obsessed with people very easily. One smile, beautiful handwriting, or an outfit makes me fall in love.
10. When I fall asleep, I like to put my hand over my pubic mound; its warmth puts me to sleep.
11. Once at a party, I was incredibly high and the party host took me to his bedroom. He fingered me and I gave him a blowjob. I never said no and I participated, but I feel like this was rape. I will never tell anyone about this.
12. I think using tongue while kissing feels like a frog loose in your mouth. I do like sucking on lips, however.
13. When I talk to girls I really like, I become extremely beatnik, to the point that I seem like a self-absorbed hipster.
14. I have never given a woman oral sex, but I feel like I have. It feels weird to be extremely gay, and yet I’ve done more with men than women.
15. I find myself wanting to be dominated. Dirty talk makes me feel, well, dirty, but more and more I want someone to push me onto the bed and claim me.
16. I think spooning is the most amazing expression of affection.
17. I wonder if someday I will just give up on women and marry a feminine man, for the social acceptance. My family would be so relieved. I think I could marry a man if he wore all Gap.
18. I think that smoke, the color green, video games, rimmed glasses, progressive thinking, scarves, feminism, baking, mix CDs, and peppermints are incredibly sexy.
19. I don’t think I can ever be faithful to one person. I get sexually bored easily.
20. When I was a little girl, I had a “magic wand” that I used to put in my cunt. I called it “the doctor game.” My mom came in once and asked me why I was in bed. She felt the wand between my legs and left the room. She never mentioned it again.
21. The noises I make when I first wake up are the same as my orgasm noises. The latter is significantly louder, however.
22. I feel like the word “fuck” demeans sex. I still feel like sex is an amazing union, even if my past actions have not showed it.
23. I want someone to give me love marks on my stomach.
24. I have only had three sex dreams in my life. I wish I knew how to have more.
25. When I’m reading erotica and the author refers to the women’s "curls" it turns me on.
2. When I started masturbating at 11, I used to rub against a pillow with all my clothes on and I would have the most amazing orgasms. I haven’t had an orgasm like that since those days. Now, I feel good (amazing, even) but I never have that single moment of climax. This makes me worry that I will never be able to have a great orgasm again and I’ll have to go to sex therapy.
3. I’m an active feminist and I worry how my pubic hair looks constantly.
4. I watch porn or read erotica nearly every day, but I hardly ever masturbate.
5. I lost my virginity when I was 14 to my best friend, who is male. We experimented sexually for over two years. He believed we were in a relationship, even though he knew that I was a lesbian. The sex ruined our friendship, but I don’t regret any part of it. Even through all of it, I never had an orgasm like #2.
6. I wake up sometimes having dreamt that I had one of those #2 orgasms. I wonder if I actually had one in my sleep.
7. I adore women. I believe they are the most perfect creation on Earth; beautiful, soft, and caring. Women don’t like me. Men are attracted to me.
8. I think a brunette with a pixie cut dressed in dark green clothing would be my goddess, if one let me into their world.
9. I find myself obsessed with people very easily. One smile, beautiful handwriting, or an outfit makes me fall in love.
10. When I fall asleep, I like to put my hand over my pubic mound; its warmth puts me to sleep.
11. Once at a party, I was incredibly high and the party host took me to his bedroom. He fingered me and I gave him a blowjob. I never said no and I participated, but I feel like this was rape. I will never tell anyone about this.
12. I think using tongue while kissing feels like a frog loose in your mouth. I do like sucking on lips, however.
13. When I talk to girls I really like, I become extremely beatnik, to the point that I seem like a self-absorbed hipster.
14. I have never given a woman oral sex, but I feel like I have. It feels weird to be extremely gay, and yet I’ve done more with men than women.
15. I find myself wanting to be dominated. Dirty talk makes me feel, well, dirty, but more and more I want someone to push me onto the bed and claim me.
16. I think spooning is the most amazing expression of affection.
17. I wonder if someday I will just give up on women and marry a feminine man, for the social acceptance. My family would be so relieved. I think I could marry a man if he wore all Gap.
18. I think that smoke, the color green, video games, rimmed glasses, progressive thinking, scarves, feminism, baking, mix CDs, and peppermints are incredibly sexy.
19. I don’t think I can ever be faithful to one person. I get sexually bored easily.
20. When I was a little girl, I had a “magic wand” that I used to put in my cunt. I called it “the doctor game.” My mom came in once and asked me why I was in bed. She felt the wand between my legs and left the room. She never mentioned it again.
21. The noises I make when I first wake up are the same as my orgasm noises. The latter is significantly louder, however.
22. I feel like the word “fuck” demeans sex. I still feel like sex is an amazing union, even if my past actions have not showed it.
23. I want someone to give me love marks on my stomach.
24. I have only had three sex dreams in my life. I wish I knew how to have more.
25. When I’m reading erotica and the author refers to the women’s "curls" it turns me on.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
1. I'm a 28-year-old married monogamous bisexual female.
2. I lost my virginity at 17, to another virgin. I was with that guy for about three years after that.
3. I'd done damn near everything else before that that didn't involve a penis below my waist. He hadn't done anything, not even kiss (except masturbating), before he did it with me.
4. I first kissed a girl when I was still with that guy. It almost made me come.
5. I first slept with a girl the summer after I broke up with that first guy. I actually spent much of that summer sleeping with that first girl and another guy; we were a threesome, or in poly terms, a triad.
6. I had another boyfriend by the end of that summer, but kept sleeping with the guy from the triad for several months. I rationalized my cheating by thinking that, since by boyfriend was a virgin (another one!) and wasn't ready to sleep with me, I had to get my fix somewhere.
7. During that same relationship, I flew to Baltimore, MD to take the virginity of someone else that I met online. Sluttiest and most dangerous thing I've ever done. Good thing it didn't end badly.
8. After that, I stopped cheating on my boyfriend, who had in fact started to sleep with me by then. I was faithful until we broke up.
9. I spent a decent amount of time as a cyberslut, starting while I was with my first, and lasting part of the way through that last boyfriend. In fact, that's how I met him. At first it was just in IM and over the phone, but eventually I got a webcam and would masturbate for guys. I had four or five "regulars" that I could count on to participate at pretty much any given time.
10. A few years ago I had to admit to myself that I was molested pretty regularly as a child. It still doesn't really bother me, which in turn bothers me. But what bothers me most, is that it happened with the same people to my cousin, and when she told, I lied and said it didn't happen to me. She's never called me on it.
11. About that same time, I also came to realize that an ex-boyfriend (a different one than in numbers 6-9, and who in fact was my rebound from him) raped me. I'd spent the night in his apartment, and when I woke up he was on top of me. I half-heartedly told him no, even though I felt whole-hearted about it.
12. The bf in #11 had a roommate who was very strongly attracted me, and I confided in him about the rape. Turns out, this guy had done it to other gfs too.
13. Not long after this, I cheated on my bf with his roommate, and we became lovers, or best-friends-with-benefits, but we did tell each other we loved each other all the time. We never were "officially" bf/gf though.
14. I lost that friendship when I met the man who is now my husband and fell in love. My lover/BFWB had apparently wanted to be "official," but hadn't told me. I haven't spoken to him in over six years.
15. I enjoy many aspects of BDSM. I'm a predominently submissive switch (or sometimes, a Mistress who goes subbie). My specific fetishes/kinks include, but are not limited to, biting, breath-play, blood-play, knife-play, puppy-play, bondage, Domination/submission, and name-calling/verbal humiliation.
16. Despite #11, I have rape fantasies. I had them even before #11. Sometimes I really get off on feeling helpless, not in control, and scared.
17. My husband was a virgin when I met him, but like me when I lost my virginity, he'd done just about everything else.
18. We don't have sex very often. My libido has taken a major nose-dive. I am trying.
19. Sometimes I would rather sleep with a woman. I do want to have a girlfriend/female lover, but I could never be in a triad with my husband, I'm too jealous. It'd have to be a V, with me as the bottom point.
20. When I masturbate, I rub myself right behind the opening in my clit hood. I can't pull it back and actually touch my clit; contact that direct hurts.
21. Vampires are sexy. Blood and biting are sexy.
22. I love homoeroticism, especially between two men.
23. Sometimes I get turned on by things that I think I shouldn't, like rape scenes in non-porn movies.
24. Werewolves can be sexy too.
25. I've had sexual contact with a total of 21 people, 14 of them men. Of those men, I've had actual intercourse with 9 of them. Most of those 9 were within a two year span.
2. I lost my virginity at 17, to another virgin. I was with that guy for about three years after that.
3. I'd done damn near everything else before that that didn't involve a penis below my waist. He hadn't done anything, not even kiss (except masturbating), before he did it with me.
4. I first kissed a girl when I was still with that guy. It almost made me come.
5. I first slept with a girl the summer after I broke up with that first guy. I actually spent much of that summer sleeping with that first girl and another guy; we were a threesome, or in poly terms, a triad.
6. I had another boyfriend by the end of that summer, but kept sleeping with the guy from the triad for several months. I rationalized my cheating by thinking that, since by boyfriend was a virgin (another one!) and wasn't ready to sleep with me, I had to get my fix somewhere.
7. During that same relationship, I flew to Baltimore, MD to take the virginity of someone else that I met online. Sluttiest and most dangerous thing I've ever done. Good thing it didn't end badly.
8. After that, I stopped cheating on my boyfriend, who had in fact started to sleep with me by then. I was faithful until we broke up.
9. I spent a decent amount of time as a cyberslut, starting while I was with my first, and lasting part of the way through that last boyfriend. In fact, that's how I met him. At first it was just in IM and over the phone, but eventually I got a webcam and would masturbate for guys. I had four or five "regulars" that I could count on to participate at pretty much any given time.
10. A few years ago I had to admit to myself that I was molested pretty regularly as a child. It still doesn't really bother me, which in turn bothers me. But what bothers me most, is that it happened with the same people to my cousin, and when she told, I lied and said it didn't happen to me. She's never called me on it.
11. About that same time, I also came to realize that an ex-boyfriend (a different one than in numbers 6-9, and who in fact was my rebound from him) raped me. I'd spent the night in his apartment, and when I woke up he was on top of me. I half-heartedly told him no, even though I felt whole-hearted about it.
12. The bf in #11 had a roommate who was very strongly attracted me, and I confided in him about the rape. Turns out, this guy had done it to other gfs too.
13. Not long after this, I cheated on my bf with his roommate, and we became lovers, or best-friends-with-benefits, but we did tell each other we loved each other all the time. We never were "officially" bf/gf though.
14. I lost that friendship when I met the man who is now my husband and fell in love. My lover/BFWB had apparently wanted to be "official," but hadn't told me. I haven't spoken to him in over six years.
15. I enjoy many aspects of BDSM. I'm a predominently submissive switch (or sometimes, a Mistress who goes subbie). My specific fetishes/kinks include, but are not limited to, biting, breath-play, blood-play, knife-play, puppy-play, bondage, Domination/submission, and name-calling/verbal humiliation.
16. Despite #11, I have rape fantasies. I had them even before #11. Sometimes I really get off on feeling helpless, not in control, and scared.
17. My husband was a virgin when I met him, but like me when I lost my virginity, he'd done just about everything else.
18. We don't have sex very often. My libido has taken a major nose-dive. I am trying.
19. Sometimes I would rather sleep with a woman. I do want to have a girlfriend/female lover, but I could never be in a triad with my husband, I'm too jealous. It'd have to be a V, with me as the bottom point.
20. When I masturbate, I rub myself right behind the opening in my clit hood. I can't pull it back and actually touch my clit; contact that direct hurts.
21. Vampires are sexy. Blood and biting are sexy.
22. I love homoeroticism, especially between two men.
23. Sometimes I get turned on by things that I think I shouldn't, like rape scenes in non-porn movies.
24. Werewolves can be sexy too.
25. I've had sexual contact with a total of 21 people, 14 of them men. Of those men, I've had actual intercourse with 9 of them. Most of those 9 were within a two year span.
Monday, February 1, 2010
1. I’m a 19 year old pansexual female virgin, but I hate labels.
2. I’m incredibly attracted to androgyny and transpeople, both MTF and FTM.
3. I’ve only had two boyfriends, once when I was 17, and once when I was 18. I broke up with each of them, and they both got incredibly depressed. I regret being with them, and even though I say I feel bad for them, I secretly feel incredibly pleased that I hurt someone like that.
4. I’ve been kissed twice, both on the same day. I’ve blocked as much of this out of my memory as possible.
5. My dream is to marry a female to male transgender.
6. I will pretty much go out with anyone I find attractive, regardless of gender.
7. I have a lot of fears about losing my virginity, but I refuse to admit this to anyone.
8. Despite #7, I wish I had lost my virginity in high school; I worry that everyone I’ll go out with in the future won’t understand the fact that I am indeed a virgin.
9. I detest body hair on men and women except for pubes. I don’t like them, but I would never demand for anyone to be hairless down there.
10. In regards to #9, the reason I don’t mind pubic hair is because I’m not completely hairless. I try to trim (recently I’ve taken to buffing hair off), but I just can’t keep it up.
11. I can tell you the exact day I started masturbating: May 11th, 2008. I remember because I was fantasizing about Wesley Crusher from Star Trek.
12. I used to be afraid of masturbating, because I was afraid to stick anything up my vagina. I still retain a bit of this fear.
13. When I masturbate, I tend to fantasize about having insanely mundane conversations.
14. I’m plus-sized, so whenever I go shopping, I buy matching bra and panty sets in my size. I’m amazed that my town has a plus-sized store that sells more than just granny panties. I love how I feel when I wear a matching set: I feel like I fit the media definition of pretty, even when no one else knows.
15. There are a lot of things I’d like to lose my virginity to, including a Stanley Kubrick movie.
16. Recently, my masturbation fantasies have been threesomes, where I’m being held down.
17. I think I would enjoy a bit of light bondage in my sex life.
18. I got a Clean and Clear blackhead eraser for huge blackheads on my nose. It worked, but I noticed that it vibrated, so I took it into my room and I've used it to masturbate ever since. I hide it in one of the drawers under my bed, where I keep movies. I forgot about that when I had wisdom teeth removed, so I think my mom knows what I use it for because she got movies from my room.
19. I’ve never been good with dirty talk, though I like hearing/reading it, I’ve never been able to say or write it. I like writing erotic fiction, but when it comes to sex scenes I feel awkward and almost never continue.
20. I once accidentally masturbated in math class when I was in grade 9. I was 14, and I was just sitting with my legs crossed. I felt pressure, and it felt good, so I squeezed my legs tighter. I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I felt disgusting afterward. I had a hard time being in that room.
21. As long as I’m not sick, I really think I could masturbate to sleep every night, but part of me feels like a whore if I do.
22. I form really intense connections and I feel like I can’t move on sometimes. I feel guilt and regret really easily, so if I miss an opportunity, which I did when I was 17, I hold onto it for a long time.
23. The first time I thought about having sex was when I was 8. I only knew the basic mechanics of it (rod A goes into slot B sort of thing). I dreamed about having sex with Leonard Nimoy.
24. For a time I had major crushes on certain Deities that I worked with on a regular basis. I forced myself to project these feelings onto fictional characters, which I found a lot less creepy.
25. I sometimes worry I’ll have a vanilla sex life and won’t excite my future spouse because I’ll be too afraid for certain things like anal sex.
2. I’m incredibly attracted to androgyny and transpeople, both MTF and FTM.
3. I’ve only had two boyfriends, once when I was 17, and once when I was 18. I broke up with each of them, and they both got incredibly depressed. I regret being with them, and even though I say I feel bad for them, I secretly feel incredibly pleased that I hurt someone like that.
4. I’ve been kissed twice, both on the same day. I’ve blocked as much of this out of my memory as possible.
5. My dream is to marry a female to male transgender.
6. I will pretty much go out with anyone I find attractive, regardless of gender.
7. I have a lot of fears about losing my virginity, but I refuse to admit this to anyone.
8. Despite #7, I wish I had lost my virginity in high school; I worry that everyone I’ll go out with in the future won’t understand the fact that I am indeed a virgin.
9. I detest body hair on men and women except for pubes. I don’t like them, but I would never demand for anyone to be hairless down there.
10. In regards to #9, the reason I don’t mind pubic hair is because I’m not completely hairless. I try to trim (recently I’ve taken to buffing hair off), but I just can’t keep it up.
11. I can tell you the exact day I started masturbating: May 11th, 2008. I remember because I was fantasizing about Wesley Crusher from Star Trek.
12. I used to be afraid of masturbating, because I was afraid to stick anything up my vagina. I still retain a bit of this fear.
13. When I masturbate, I tend to fantasize about having insanely mundane conversations.
14. I’m plus-sized, so whenever I go shopping, I buy matching bra and panty sets in my size. I’m amazed that my town has a plus-sized store that sells more than just granny panties. I love how I feel when I wear a matching set: I feel like I fit the media definition of pretty, even when no one else knows.
15. There are a lot of things I’d like to lose my virginity to, including a Stanley Kubrick movie.
16. Recently, my masturbation fantasies have been threesomes, where I’m being held down.
17. I think I would enjoy a bit of light bondage in my sex life.
18. I got a Clean and Clear blackhead eraser for huge blackheads on my nose. It worked, but I noticed that it vibrated, so I took it into my room and I've used it to masturbate ever since. I hide it in one of the drawers under my bed, where I keep movies. I forgot about that when I had wisdom teeth removed, so I think my mom knows what I use it for because she got movies from my room.
19. I’ve never been good with dirty talk, though I like hearing/reading it, I’ve never been able to say or write it. I like writing erotic fiction, but when it comes to sex scenes I feel awkward and almost never continue.
20. I once accidentally masturbated in math class when I was in grade 9. I was 14, and I was just sitting with my legs crossed. I felt pressure, and it felt good, so I squeezed my legs tighter. I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I felt disgusting afterward. I had a hard time being in that room.
21. As long as I’m not sick, I really think I could masturbate to sleep every night, but part of me feels like a whore if I do.
22. I form really intense connections and I feel like I can’t move on sometimes. I feel guilt and regret really easily, so if I miss an opportunity, which I did when I was 17, I hold onto it for a long time.
23. The first time I thought about having sex was when I was 8. I only knew the basic mechanics of it (rod A goes into slot B sort of thing). I dreamed about having sex with Leonard Nimoy.
24. For a time I had major crushes on certain Deities that I worked with on a regular basis. I forced myself to project these feelings onto fictional characters, which I found a lot less creepy.
25. I sometimes worry I’ll have a vanilla sex life and won’t excite my future spouse because I’ll be too afraid for certain things like anal sex.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
1. I first started touching myself when I was 6 or 7, never to orgasm. It was just something I did when I couldn't fall asleep.
2. The first time I ever had an orgasm was when I was 11. I was taking a shower and using the new, massaging shower head my folks had just bought. I started taking a lot of showers, and I was always nervous that my parents would realize why their grass-stained and scuff-kneed tomboy had a new-found obsession with cleanliness
3. My first crush was Bill Nye, The Science Guy. I still find scientists really, REALLY sexy. Lanky men with large noses make me instantly wet.
4. I got my first kiss at 13. I was at a friend's party just after 7th grade. We were all sitting on the front lawn playing spin the bottle. A much older (17-18?) neighbor boy was walking by and asked to play. When he spun, he got me. It was wonderful, but I didn't let myself enjoy it fully because everyone was watching. I do not know his name.
5. I got my 2nd kiss later that same night, from the guy I'd been crushing on all year. He pulled me aside and stroked my hair, brushing it behind my ear. I believe he was trying to be romantic...it was awful and slobbery, and the crush was over.
6. I have been actively seeking out porn since I was 9 or 10. That's about the age I was when we got HBO. I would stay up late to watch Real Sex, sneaking to the family room and turning the volume WAY down low. There was something about the possibility of getting caught that was beyond thrilling.
7. I write on-line Erotica. I'm good at it. I've made over $1500 since I was 16 by winning contests.
8. I casually mentioned this to a friend once. She found my work. She said she didn't know how to feel about it. I changed my pseudonym immediately, and we've never mentioned it again. I realized that it was the anonymity that allowed me to write so freely.
9. I hated the first blowjob I ever gave. It wasn't that he was dirty or sweaty or anything. Just the opposite, in fact, because he'd just showered. But he was small, and really curved, and he let out an unreal amount of precum. Even looking back on it, the amount was excessive. It was the constant feeling of being slimed that did me in.
10. Luckily, I was brave enough to try it with a different fellow. Giving head is now on par with penetration on my list of orgasm-makers.
11. I have sucked 48 different cocks. I swallow every time. It makes me feel powerful.
12. I hate, HATE receiving oral sex. Nobody believes me when I say this. The guys would say: "It's just because you've never had someone who knows how." My gal pals would say: "It's just because you're self conscious... AND because you've never had someone who knows how." Neither of these statements are accurate. I just don't enjoy it. I used to subject myself to it, but it always turned me off, and I hated feeling like I had to enjoy it. I don't do things I hate anymore.
13. My first time having sex was unusual, compared to the experiences of my friends, but it felt completely natural to me. I was curious what it was like, and I really wanted to know what I was doing, so I asked one of my friends to give me a hand. He found this a powerful turn-on, I viewed it as a research opportunity. My body responded with the appropriate secretions and contractions, but my mind was taking notes. Although it was, for me, completely devoid of any romance or passion, or even horniness, it was really fun, and I was taken with the novelty of the experience. I was 16.
14. The first time I had sweaty, lusty, passionate sex was about 3 months after my first time. It was in a cemetery. Cemeteries are still a major turn on.
15. I am religious about doing Kegels, mainly because I figured out I can make myself cum that way. I always cum at least once during my office's unbelievably boring Friday meetings.
16. It makes me really uncomfortable when guys insist on a woman being completely shaved. Especially if they use the word "innocent" in their explanation.
17. On a related note, I shave my legs and armpits, as a relic of my swim team days, but my bush is full, although well-trimmed.
18. I LOVE hairy balls. Big ones, preferably. Ditto for hairy chests. Please don't shave; it's weird, at the very least. At the worst, it's prickly. I'm not so fond of back hair, but I'd rather deal with that than a guy who "man-scapes."
19. I frequently orgasm the instant my partner enters me.
20. I am incredibly focused on being completely in control of my "outside" life, and nothing turns me on more than a man who will take control in bed. I am crazy attracted to authority figures.
21. I am not very tactful. After a really, really bad experience (I faked, for the first and only time, just so it would be over), I found myself blurting out: "Well, that sucked."
22. I love making love to women, everything about it. I love the breasts, and the secret, soft hollow of the inner thighs, and the way other women smell. The way they taste. To experience another woman excites me so powerfully... but when they reciprocate... nothing. I have known some amazing, glorious, sexually and spiritually exciting women, and I'm sad that I'm missing out on half of the girl-on-girl action. I guess my problem is that I find women sensual and irresistible in the way that the rain, or a lightning storm might be so full of sensuality that I find it sexual... but although I am in awe of, and want to worship these forces of nature, it doesn't make me want them to fuck me. It's the same with women. I want to experience them fully, but they don't sexually excite me.
23. I have had sex with 13 men, and 6 women, but I have trouble identifying myself as bisexual, or straight, or anything, really. The evidence would suggest I'm bi, but I feel dishonest labeling myself in that way. See #22.
24. I go wild for the feeling of a guy being "too big." If he tears me, especially during rough sex, I'll be on Cloud 9 for days. Bonus points if you bruise my cervix. Sex is nice. Making love is nice. Fucking is my favorite. Fucking someone you love is the best thing in the entire universe.
25. I love being in committed relationships. I consider myself a serial monogamist. I believe this is partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because I hate condoms, and I'm too smart not to use them without proper testing.
2. The first time I ever had an orgasm was when I was 11. I was taking a shower and using the new, massaging shower head my folks had just bought. I started taking a lot of showers, and I was always nervous that my parents would realize why their grass-stained and scuff-kneed tomboy had a new-found obsession with cleanliness
3. My first crush was Bill Nye, The Science Guy. I still find scientists really, REALLY sexy. Lanky men with large noses make me instantly wet.
4. I got my first kiss at 13. I was at a friend's party just after 7th grade. We were all sitting on the front lawn playing spin the bottle. A much older (17-18?) neighbor boy was walking by and asked to play. When he spun, he got me. It was wonderful, but I didn't let myself enjoy it fully because everyone was watching. I do not know his name.
5. I got my 2nd kiss later that same night, from the guy I'd been crushing on all year. He pulled me aside and stroked my hair, brushing it behind my ear. I believe he was trying to be romantic...it was awful and slobbery, and the crush was over.
6. I have been actively seeking out porn since I was 9 or 10. That's about the age I was when we got HBO. I would stay up late to watch Real Sex, sneaking to the family room and turning the volume WAY down low. There was something about the possibility of getting caught that was beyond thrilling.
7. I write on-line Erotica. I'm good at it. I've made over $1500 since I was 16 by winning contests.
8. I casually mentioned this to a friend once. She found my work. She said she didn't know how to feel about it. I changed my pseudonym immediately, and we've never mentioned it again. I realized that it was the anonymity that allowed me to write so freely.
9. I hated the first blowjob I ever gave. It wasn't that he was dirty or sweaty or anything. Just the opposite, in fact, because he'd just showered. But he was small, and really curved, and he let out an unreal amount of precum. Even looking back on it, the amount was excessive. It was the constant feeling of being slimed that did me in.
10. Luckily, I was brave enough to try it with a different fellow. Giving head is now on par with penetration on my list of orgasm-makers.
11. I have sucked 48 different cocks. I swallow every time. It makes me feel powerful.
12. I hate, HATE receiving oral sex. Nobody believes me when I say this. The guys would say: "It's just because you've never had someone who knows how." My gal pals would say: "It's just because you're self conscious... AND because you've never had someone who knows how." Neither of these statements are accurate. I just don't enjoy it. I used to subject myself to it, but it always turned me off, and I hated feeling like I had to enjoy it. I don't do things I hate anymore.
13. My first time having sex was unusual, compared to the experiences of my friends, but it felt completely natural to me. I was curious what it was like, and I really wanted to know what I was doing, so I asked one of my friends to give me a hand. He found this a powerful turn-on, I viewed it as a research opportunity. My body responded with the appropriate secretions and contractions, but my mind was taking notes. Although it was, for me, completely devoid of any romance or passion, or even horniness, it was really fun, and I was taken with the novelty of the experience. I was 16.
14. The first time I had sweaty, lusty, passionate sex was about 3 months after my first time. It was in a cemetery. Cemeteries are still a major turn on.
15. I am religious about doing Kegels, mainly because I figured out I can make myself cum that way. I always cum at least once during my office's unbelievably boring Friday meetings.
16. It makes me really uncomfortable when guys insist on a woman being completely shaved. Especially if they use the word "innocent" in their explanation.
17. On a related note, I shave my legs and armpits, as a relic of my swim team days, but my bush is full, although well-trimmed.
18. I LOVE hairy balls. Big ones, preferably. Ditto for hairy chests. Please don't shave; it's weird, at the very least. At the worst, it's prickly. I'm not so fond of back hair, but I'd rather deal with that than a guy who "man-scapes."
19. I frequently orgasm the instant my partner enters me.
20. I am incredibly focused on being completely in control of my "outside" life, and nothing turns me on more than a man who will take control in bed. I am crazy attracted to authority figures.
21. I am not very tactful. After a really, really bad experience (I faked, for the first and only time, just so it would be over), I found myself blurting out: "Well, that sucked."
22. I love making love to women, everything about it. I love the breasts, and the secret, soft hollow of the inner thighs, and the way other women smell. The way they taste. To experience another woman excites me so powerfully... but when they reciprocate... nothing. I have known some amazing, glorious, sexually and spiritually exciting women, and I'm sad that I'm missing out on half of the girl-on-girl action. I guess my problem is that I find women sensual and irresistible in the way that the rain, or a lightning storm might be so full of sensuality that I find it sexual... but although I am in awe of, and want to worship these forces of nature, it doesn't make me want them to fuck me. It's the same with women. I want to experience them fully, but they don't sexually excite me.
23. I have had sex with 13 men, and 6 women, but I have trouble identifying myself as bisexual, or straight, or anything, really. The evidence would suggest I'm bi, but I feel dishonest labeling myself in that way. See #22.
24. I go wild for the feeling of a guy being "too big." If he tears me, especially during rough sex, I'll be on Cloud 9 for days. Bonus points if you bruise my cervix. Sex is nice. Making love is nice. Fucking is my favorite. Fucking someone you love is the best thing in the entire universe.
25. I love being in committed relationships. I consider myself a serial monogamist. I believe this is partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because I hate condoms, and I'm too smart not to use them without proper testing.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
1. I lost my virginity when I was 15 to a guy who was 16. We were both virgins. We’d been together for two years, officially dating for six months, and are still together and happy (I’m 18). We had tried having sex a week before we finally did, but stopped because we didn’t have a condom. Now we fuck almost exclusively condom-less. I enjoy skin-on-skin, but it scares me. I’m too young to be a mother.
2. I can remember masturbating all the way back to when I was in a car seat (maybe 18 months old). I’d rock back and forth, similar to the motion of girl-on-top, whenever my family went on road trips, then eventually when I was alone in my room. I’ve always done this, and it wasn’t until I was maybe 12 or 13 that I realized that it was, in fact, masturbation.
3. I get random moods where I just want to give blowjobs. I don’t know why this is – it’s not even that I’m horny. I just want to feel the head of a penis in my mouth.
4. I often get girl crushes. The most I’ve ever done is kiss a girl, but I love breasts and women with nice asses.
5. I didn’t realize that I was attracted to the guy who is now my boyfriend until I thought about him when I was masturbating.
6. I really, really love having sex in public places. Nothing is sexier to me than being overcome with passion and knowing that we could get caught at any time.
7. I’ve always been a bit of a secret exhibitionist and got off on the idea of someone looking at my body. When I was 13 I stepped out onto a hotel balcony naked for about ten minutes. It gave me such a rush.
8. I’m attracted to criminals – specifically serial killers. I don’t know why. Ted Bundy is my cup of tea. I’m really scared I could become a groupie.
9. When my female cousin and I were young we used to pretend that we were getting married. We would always kiss and then dare each other to get naked.
10. I was molested when I was around 4 or 5, but I didn’t realize it until I was a teenager. I don’t think I repressed the memory because it doesn’t really bother me today. The only reason I remembered was because my cousin was there as well and we realized what happened together one day. My aunt had a male friend who would often make the two of us come sit on his lap, and one time when all the other adults had left things definitely got out of hand on his part. I’m sort of worried that since this didn’t scar me something’s wrong with me.
11. My best friend is a shy guy who’s a virgin. He has a girlfriend but she doesn’t seem interested in anything other than kissing. Ever since they started dating, I’ve become extremely jealous and fantasized about dominating him. I would never do it because I couldn’t do that to him and I couldn’t do that to my boyfriend... but I think about it often. The thoughts make me feel like a horrible person.
12. The time that I had sex the longest both my boyfriend and I had been smoking marijuana. We were randomly outside in someone’s shed in the middle of the night. We went at it for four hours. It was worth it.
13. I AM a girl who loves porn – but I only like to watch porn with women in it. I don’t know why this is. I find their bodies luscious and the only penis I’ve ever really found aesthetically pleasing is my boyfriend’s.
14. Semen has always tasted like pennies to me.
15. I can’t make myself cum with my fingers.
16. My boyfriend cheated on me. Once. He didn’t have sex; it was a random blowjob when he was drunk and he hadn’t gone looking for it. He regretted it afterwards. His friend told me, and my boyfriend doesn’t know I know. I think it would hurt me more to tell him than it hurt me when I found out. I have never discussed it with anyone but the person who told me.
17. I fantasize about rape. I have never told anyone.
18. I feel sexiest when I haven’t eaten and can feel the hunger in my belly.
19. I enjoy sexual tension more than I actually enjoy sex. Sexual tension could go on forever; sex eventually has to end.
20. I hate the whole vampire thing, but am turned on every time I see a man covered in blood.
21. I found my boyfriend sexiest when he broke his shoulder and had his arm in a sling.
22. I hate cologne. I love body smells – natural odor. That turns me on.
23. I love chubby men. Especially Jewish ones. With beards. I often get laughed at because of this.
24. The first time I gave a blowjob was in the back of my mother’s car. It was nighttime and she was driving. My boyfriend and I were alone in the backseat. I was bored, and we had a blanket overtop of us, so I whispered, “I have a bad idea,” and dove under. He was speechless for quite a long time afterwards.
25. When I’m attracted to girls, I often hate them. I find them perfect, imagine everyone else sees them so, and wonder why I can’t be like them.
2. I can remember masturbating all the way back to when I was in a car seat (maybe 18 months old). I’d rock back and forth, similar to the motion of girl-on-top, whenever my family went on road trips, then eventually when I was alone in my room. I’ve always done this, and it wasn’t until I was maybe 12 or 13 that I realized that it was, in fact, masturbation.
3. I get random moods where I just want to give blowjobs. I don’t know why this is – it’s not even that I’m horny. I just want to feel the head of a penis in my mouth.
4. I often get girl crushes. The most I’ve ever done is kiss a girl, but I love breasts and women with nice asses.
5. I didn’t realize that I was attracted to the guy who is now my boyfriend until I thought about him when I was masturbating.
6. I really, really love having sex in public places. Nothing is sexier to me than being overcome with passion and knowing that we could get caught at any time.
7. I’ve always been a bit of a secret exhibitionist and got off on the idea of someone looking at my body. When I was 13 I stepped out onto a hotel balcony naked for about ten minutes. It gave me such a rush.
8. I’m attracted to criminals – specifically serial killers. I don’t know why. Ted Bundy is my cup of tea. I’m really scared I could become a groupie.
9. When my female cousin and I were young we used to pretend that we were getting married. We would always kiss and then dare each other to get naked.
10. I was molested when I was around 4 or 5, but I didn’t realize it until I was a teenager. I don’t think I repressed the memory because it doesn’t really bother me today. The only reason I remembered was because my cousin was there as well and we realized what happened together one day. My aunt had a male friend who would often make the two of us come sit on his lap, and one time when all the other adults had left things definitely got out of hand on his part. I’m sort of worried that since this didn’t scar me something’s wrong with me.
11. My best friend is a shy guy who’s a virgin. He has a girlfriend but she doesn’t seem interested in anything other than kissing. Ever since they started dating, I’ve become extremely jealous and fantasized about dominating him. I would never do it because I couldn’t do that to him and I couldn’t do that to my boyfriend... but I think about it often. The thoughts make me feel like a horrible person.
12. The time that I had sex the longest both my boyfriend and I had been smoking marijuana. We were randomly outside in someone’s shed in the middle of the night. We went at it for four hours. It was worth it.
13. I AM a girl who loves porn – but I only like to watch porn with women in it. I don’t know why this is. I find their bodies luscious and the only penis I’ve ever really found aesthetically pleasing is my boyfriend’s.
14. Semen has always tasted like pennies to me.
15. I can’t make myself cum with my fingers.
16. My boyfriend cheated on me. Once. He didn’t have sex; it was a random blowjob when he was drunk and he hadn’t gone looking for it. He regretted it afterwards. His friend told me, and my boyfriend doesn’t know I know. I think it would hurt me more to tell him than it hurt me when I found out. I have never discussed it with anyone but the person who told me.
17. I fantasize about rape. I have never told anyone.
18. I feel sexiest when I haven’t eaten and can feel the hunger in my belly.
19. I enjoy sexual tension more than I actually enjoy sex. Sexual tension could go on forever; sex eventually has to end.
20. I hate the whole vampire thing, but am turned on every time I see a man covered in blood.
21. I found my boyfriend sexiest when he broke his shoulder and had his arm in a sling.
22. I hate cologne. I love body smells – natural odor. That turns me on.
23. I love chubby men. Especially Jewish ones. With beards. I often get laughed at because of this.
24. The first time I gave a blowjob was in the back of my mother’s car. It was nighttime and she was driving. My boyfriend and I were alone in the backseat. I was bored, and we had a blanket overtop of us, so I whispered, “I have a bad idea,” and dove under. He was speechless for quite a long time afterwards.
25. When I’m attracted to girls, I often hate them. I find them perfect, imagine everyone else sees them so, and wonder why I can’t be like them.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
1. At the age of 20, I'm still a virgin. I wanted to sleep with my first real boyfriend (we broke up a few months ago), but he dumped me before I was quite ready to do it. He did finger me once though, but I didn't come. I asked him to stop because I hadn't expected that we'd be doing that and I guess I wasn't ready.
2. My first kiss was with a girl, in my childhood bedroom, at the age of 16. I was in love with her (mostly unrequited, though we did hook up several more times) for the next two years.
3. I started masturbating when I was about 12. I remember being on a family vacation in Florida and trying to get off in the room I shared with my sister and aunt, hoping they wouldn't notice.
4. I once masturbated in the school library on a weekend, when it was empty. (It was a boarding school.) I also got off once during a school play (I was in the audience) in sixth grade. I'm beginning to think I might have an exhibitionist streak.
5. My first sexual experiences were with my younger sister. I would be ashamed, but I've read it's not uncommon for young kids. We'd play games where one of us would be taken captive by some evil queen, who would order her burly manservants to have their way with the captive. I've tried to forget about this, because since I'm the older one I feel that I am responsible.
6. I sometimes fantasize about rape.
7. My ex boyfriend used to tell me he liked my ass and would squeeze it a lot while we were making out. I really liked this.
8. I've kissed five people- two girls and three guys. This is actually pretty representative of my sexuality.
9. I'm bisexual. I've never had sex with anyone, but I'm worried I wouldn't like it with a girl and it would damage my bisexual cred or something.
10. I watched straight, lesbian, and gay porn. Straight porn is OK, but I always feel dirty afterward. Lesbian porn I don't usually like because the girls aren't usually actually gay and they're so femmy. I like more butch girls. Gay porn is the best. But none of it's really that great.
11. The first "porn" I got off to was Gundam Wing fanfiction. I was about 13.
12. I'm scared that when I finally do have sex with a guy I won't like it or be able to come. I haven't ever had a vaginal orgasm (though I have clitoral ones, no problem) on my own, so I'm worried.
13. I love love love kissing. I like it a little bit rough, with lots of sucking. Not so much spit though. I like getting bite marks on my neck, feeling claimed.
14. I like the taste of my come.
15. I don't shave my pubic hair but I feel like most people do and I should. But I really don't want to.
16. The most exciting experience I had was with my ex and his best (female) friend--I was in the middle, both of kissing my neck (which I love) and touching my breasts. No clothes came off, though. We did this once at his apartment, drunk, and another time at a club. The second time was even better because there was this table of hipsters next to us and I knew they were watching.
17. The only problem was that the friend developed feelings for me that I couldn't really return. I felt really bad.
18. Once I found condoms in my dad's bedside table. Scarred for life. I'm glad my parents are still having sex after 20 years of marriage but I don't want to know about it.
19. I wish my clit was bigger.
20. I still think about my ex when I'm getting off (alone). I feel a little guilty about this. But not too much!
21. I'm worried I'm too fat to ever get laid. I do need to lose some weight (because I'm not meant to be this big, not because "fat people are gross" or whatever), but other fat people get laid all the time. I don't know.
22. I feel like a bad feminist because I like being submissive. I like the feeling of someone on top of me, holding my hands above my head, etc. I do want to receive oral sex though. Maybe I'm just selfish for pleasure.
23. Penises kind of gross me out, although I like the people they're attached to.
24. I think trans guys are hot. Trans women don't do it for me.
25. I have really full lips (for a white girl, anyway- like, practically Angelina Jolie) and I wonder if guys sometimes imagine what my mouth would look like while I was blowing them.
2. My first kiss was with a girl, in my childhood bedroom, at the age of 16. I was in love with her (mostly unrequited, though we did hook up several more times) for the next two years.
3. I started masturbating when I was about 12. I remember being on a family vacation in Florida and trying to get off in the room I shared with my sister and aunt, hoping they wouldn't notice.
4. I once masturbated in the school library on a weekend, when it was empty. (It was a boarding school.) I also got off once during a school play (I was in the audience) in sixth grade. I'm beginning to think I might have an exhibitionist streak.
5. My first sexual experiences were with my younger sister. I would be ashamed, but I've read it's not uncommon for young kids. We'd play games where one of us would be taken captive by some evil queen, who would order her burly manservants to have their way with the captive. I've tried to forget about this, because since I'm the older one I feel that I am responsible.
6. I sometimes fantasize about rape.
7. My ex boyfriend used to tell me he liked my ass and would squeeze it a lot while we were making out. I really liked this.
8. I've kissed five people- two girls and three guys. This is actually pretty representative of my sexuality.
9. I'm bisexual. I've never had sex with anyone, but I'm worried I wouldn't like it with a girl and it would damage my bisexual cred or something.
10. I watched straight, lesbian, and gay porn. Straight porn is OK, but I always feel dirty afterward. Lesbian porn I don't usually like because the girls aren't usually actually gay and they're so femmy. I like more butch girls. Gay porn is the best. But none of it's really that great.
11. The first "porn" I got off to was Gundam Wing fanfiction. I was about 13.
12. I'm scared that when I finally do have sex with a guy I won't like it or be able to come. I haven't ever had a vaginal orgasm (though I have clitoral ones, no problem) on my own, so I'm worried.
13. I love love love kissing. I like it a little bit rough, with lots of sucking. Not so much spit though. I like getting bite marks on my neck, feeling claimed.
14. I like the taste of my come.
15. I don't shave my pubic hair but I feel like most people do and I should. But I really don't want to.
16. The most exciting experience I had was with my ex and his best (female) friend--I was in the middle, both of kissing my neck (which I love) and touching my breasts. No clothes came off, though. We did this once at his apartment, drunk, and another time at a club. The second time was even better because there was this table of hipsters next to us and I knew they were watching.
17. The only problem was that the friend developed feelings for me that I couldn't really return. I felt really bad.
18. Once I found condoms in my dad's bedside table. Scarred for life. I'm glad my parents are still having sex after 20 years of marriage but I don't want to know about it.
19. I wish my clit was bigger.
20. I still think about my ex when I'm getting off (alone). I feel a little guilty about this. But not too much!
21. I'm worried I'm too fat to ever get laid. I do need to lose some weight (because I'm not meant to be this big, not because "fat people are gross" or whatever), but other fat people get laid all the time. I don't know.
22. I feel like a bad feminist because I like being submissive. I like the feeling of someone on top of me, holding my hands above my head, etc. I do want to receive oral sex though. Maybe I'm just selfish for pleasure.
23. Penises kind of gross me out, although I like the people they're attached to.
24. I think trans guys are hot. Trans women don't do it for me.
25. I have really full lips (for a white girl, anyway- like, practically Angelina Jolie) and I wonder if guys sometimes imagine what my mouth would look like while I was blowing them.
Monday, January 25, 2010
1. My first kiss was at age 12 with a Chinese boy with a mullet. I knew nothing about him and have never seen him since. It was unremarkable.
2. I estimate that since then I have probably kissed around 300 people. I love kissing.
3. I lost my virginity when I was 16 with a boy I managed to convice myself I was in love with, on a sofa bed in his living room. It was sore, awkward and left me feeling disillusioned. I thought I was abnormal for not enjoying it until me and my friends started discussing sex in depth a couple of years later. I have since come to the conclusion that no one enjoys their first time.
4. As I write this I am 3 weeks shy of my 21st birthday and have had sex with 46 men. I can name 45 of these men and am on friendly terms with around 30 of them.
5. I have also slept with 4 girls. I'm a lot fussier when it comes to girls.
6. My first serious relationship, he was a virgin, I wasn't. He loved me, I didn't reciprocate. I stayed with him for two years then broke his heart. I still feel guilty for this, and for taking his virginity.
7. He was the first person I ever watched porn with. At the time, I found it hilarious and couldn't get off on it. Three years on, not much has changed. I often watch it with my current boyfriend just for the comedic value.
8. Erotica, on the other hand, drives me wild. My boyfriend often returns home to find me masturbating while reading erotica on his laptop.
9. I cannot remember when I started masturbating, I just know that it felt wrong, which in turn made it feel oh so good.
10. If I'm alone in bed I cannot get to sleep without masturbating. Same goes for getting up in the morning.
11. My last serious boyfriend taught me a lot in the bedroom. Thanks to him I know I love a bit of pain and humiliation. He would often tie me to his bed, whip my ass raw then leave me there while he grocery shopped.
12. While fucking me from behind, he would often choke me til I almost passed out. I enjoy this so much it scares me a bit, but it's something that is definitely reserved for people I trust implicitly.
13. I hate receiving oral, but giving is another matter entirely. I'm a massive fan of surprise fellatio, whether my guy is busy with something or just waking up in the morning. Never fails to drive him wild.
14. In between every serious relationship I go through a bit of a 'slut phase' and have lots of short flings and one night stands. During one of these one-nighters I pushed the guy off me, got dressed and went back to the club where I had picked him up, much to my friends' amusement. Yes, the sex was that bad. He is the only one of my 46 I can't name, and has been nicknamed 'Fresher guy.'
15. I have only ever owned one vibe. I was not impressed; can get myself there much quicker and I never run out of batteries.
16. Last summer I dated a French boy for 3 weeks simply because I got seriously wet whenever he said "Fuck me" in french. I have since discovered this works with anyone. This has to be the strangest thing that turns me on.
17. I love anal sex but after a horrible incident with a random hook-up it's another thing I'll be saving for trusted partners.
18. The horrible incident: I had been fucking this guy for a few days, his was easily the largest cock I've ever had inside me, in girth as well as length. He suggested anal; I was wasted so I agreed on the condition that he stopped if I told him to. It hurt. Like hell. I said stop. He kept going. When he was finished I went home and cried for hours. I'm still unsure as to whether this counts as rape.
19. Cock size has never bothered me too much, as long as they're over 4 inches. I love the male genitalia and find it incredibly fascinating and arousing.
20. I'm a trained acrobat and have had sex in some interesting positions, but nothing beats the classics. Less effort involved, for one thing.
21. There are two experiences that compete for the strangest I have ever had. The first one being a drug-fueled, baby oil-soaked foursome with a good friend and a couple who had come to his house party. People kept coming into the room to get stuff and a couple of them even joined in for a little bit.
22. The second one: Fucking my best mate's brother while my best mate fucked his girlfriend in the same bed. Me and the girlfriend then fucked each other while the boys watched and shared a beer.
23. The first girl I ever slept with was also my first real love. We would spend whole nights having sex on the roof of her parents' garage while listening to grunge music and drinking expensive booze stolen from her parents. She's the same age as me and now married with two kids and a mortgage. The last time I saw her we fucked in a coffee shop bathroom while her fiancé was outside with their children.
24. I'm immensely claustrophobic but also get turned on in really small spaces. God forbid I ever get trapped in an elevator with someone I'm attracted to.
25. I orgasm incredibly easily and have been known to just by having someone tell me what they want to do to me. As far as I can see, there are no bad points about this.
2. I estimate that since then I have probably kissed around 300 people. I love kissing.
3. I lost my virginity when I was 16 with a boy I managed to convice myself I was in love with, on a sofa bed in his living room. It was sore, awkward and left me feeling disillusioned. I thought I was abnormal for not enjoying it until me and my friends started discussing sex in depth a couple of years later. I have since come to the conclusion that no one enjoys their first time.
4. As I write this I am 3 weeks shy of my 21st birthday and have had sex with 46 men. I can name 45 of these men and am on friendly terms with around 30 of them.
5. I have also slept with 4 girls. I'm a lot fussier when it comes to girls.
6. My first serious relationship, he was a virgin, I wasn't. He loved me, I didn't reciprocate. I stayed with him for two years then broke his heart. I still feel guilty for this, and for taking his virginity.
7. He was the first person I ever watched porn with. At the time, I found it hilarious and couldn't get off on it. Three years on, not much has changed. I often watch it with my current boyfriend just for the comedic value.
8. Erotica, on the other hand, drives me wild. My boyfriend often returns home to find me masturbating while reading erotica on his laptop.
9. I cannot remember when I started masturbating, I just know that it felt wrong, which in turn made it feel oh so good.
10. If I'm alone in bed I cannot get to sleep without masturbating. Same goes for getting up in the morning.
11. My last serious boyfriend taught me a lot in the bedroom. Thanks to him I know I love a bit of pain and humiliation. He would often tie me to his bed, whip my ass raw then leave me there while he grocery shopped.
12. While fucking me from behind, he would often choke me til I almost passed out. I enjoy this so much it scares me a bit, but it's something that is definitely reserved for people I trust implicitly.
13. I hate receiving oral, but giving is another matter entirely. I'm a massive fan of surprise fellatio, whether my guy is busy with something or just waking up in the morning. Never fails to drive him wild.
14. In between every serious relationship I go through a bit of a 'slut phase' and have lots of short flings and one night stands. During one of these one-nighters I pushed the guy off me, got dressed and went back to the club where I had picked him up, much to my friends' amusement. Yes, the sex was that bad. He is the only one of my 46 I can't name, and has been nicknamed 'Fresher guy.'
15. I have only ever owned one vibe. I was not impressed; can get myself there much quicker and I never run out of batteries.
16. Last summer I dated a French boy for 3 weeks simply because I got seriously wet whenever he said "Fuck me" in french. I have since discovered this works with anyone. This has to be the strangest thing that turns me on.
17. I love anal sex but after a horrible incident with a random hook-up it's another thing I'll be saving for trusted partners.
18. The horrible incident: I had been fucking this guy for a few days, his was easily the largest cock I've ever had inside me, in girth as well as length. He suggested anal; I was wasted so I agreed on the condition that he stopped if I told him to. It hurt. Like hell. I said stop. He kept going. When he was finished I went home and cried for hours. I'm still unsure as to whether this counts as rape.
19. Cock size has never bothered me too much, as long as they're over 4 inches. I love the male genitalia and find it incredibly fascinating and arousing.
20. I'm a trained acrobat and have had sex in some interesting positions, but nothing beats the classics. Less effort involved, for one thing.
21. There are two experiences that compete for the strangest I have ever had. The first one being a drug-fueled, baby oil-soaked foursome with a good friend and a couple who had come to his house party. People kept coming into the room to get stuff and a couple of them even joined in for a little bit.
22. The second one: Fucking my best mate's brother while my best mate fucked his girlfriend in the same bed. Me and the girlfriend then fucked each other while the boys watched and shared a beer.
23. The first girl I ever slept with was also my first real love. We would spend whole nights having sex on the roof of her parents' garage while listening to grunge music and drinking expensive booze stolen from her parents. She's the same age as me and now married with two kids and a mortgage. The last time I saw her we fucked in a coffee shop bathroom while her fiancé was outside with their children.
24. I'm immensely claustrophobic but also get turned on in really small spaces. God forbid I ever get trapped in an elevator with someone I'm attracted to.
25. I orgasm incredibly easily and have been known to just by having someone tell me what they want to do to me. As far as I can see, there are no bad points about this.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
1.) Male, not straight, not into guys. Which may seem like three things, but other sexualities get one word like "Gay" or "Bi" or "Straight". My word hasn't been made up yet. I haven't found one I identify with that is commonly understood.
2.) I show up on gaydar. I have been hit on by more men in my time then women. No trans people yet.
3.) When I was young I used to fantasize about women, but thought I was gay because I was never attracted to any in real life.
4.) I recently realize I am not attracted to straight women. Which explains #3.
5.) I lost my virginity at 24, to my first girlfriend.
6.) I let her sleep with another guy after we were together for 6 months. It went well and was a liberating experience for me.
7.) She started a relationship without asking first, thereby cheating. We broke up soon after. Which was traumatic. She managed to cheat on someone who is OK with all kinds of relationships. Which is kind of an achievement really. Vowed that I would never ever cheat on anyone because of that.
8.) Had my first threesome with my second girlfriend and a mutual friend. MFM.
9.) He is bi and I really gave myself permission to do whatever I wanted to him... Realized I didn't want to do anything to him. He was extremely nice about the whole thing.
10.) I did kiss him... It was awkward. But made her hot.
11.) Met my future wife and fell in love, lust and partnership.
12.) Broke up with second girlfriend and promised to stay friends. The break up went well... Then I was a terrible friend to her while focusing too heavily on the new girl. Which kind of violated the spirit, although not the wording, of the vow from # 7.
13.) Thought future wife was straight and I would have to be monogamous. Sad boy. :(
14.) We were together for a year when she asked if she could date another guy. Ecstatic boy! So relieved.
15.) After being married for a year I met my fourth girlfriend.
16.) Fourth girlfriend has PSAS, and is amazing in bed.
17.) We date for a couple of months and she starts getting jealous and we realize that she is not cut out to be an "Other Significant Other." There are many things that she deserves in a relationship that I can't give her, and it hurts both of us. So we decide to break things off.
18.) During this time my wife starts seriously dating her boyfriend. Who is an awesome guy, and a great friend.
19.) My wife is terrific and understanding and my emotional rock during the breakup.
20.) Realized that the relationship between your partners is critical. My wife and girlfriend didn't have much of a relationship, but did respect each other. Things would have gone better if they had established more of a connection.
21.) Discovered that you can be totally in love with your wife, and depressed and sad that you have broken up with your girlfriend at the same time.
22.) Discovered that dancing with both of them at the same nightclub can be really fun, but can also have emotional consequences.
23.) Dating while married is so much easier, emotionally, than dating while single. See #19.
24.) Still wish I had a girlfriend, miss her terribly. Realized that triad is my natural and preferred state. Which may not be fair to my wife, as when we married that wasn't really the plan. But people grow and change over time, and it is not a threat to my happy marriage, yet.
25.) They say that the average member of the population tends to have the same number of lovers before marriage as they do after marriage. I think that I will skew that statistic a bit over the course of my lifetime. Here's hoping!
2.) I show up on gaydar. I have been hit on by more men in my time then women. No trans people yet.
3.) When I was young I used to fantasize about women, but thought I was gay because I was never attracted to any in real life.
4.) I recently realize I am not attracted to straight women. Which explains #3.
5.) I lost my virginity at 24, to my first girlfriend.
6.) I let her sleep with another guy after we were together for 6 months. It went well and was a liberating experience for me.
7.) She started a relationship without asking first, thereby cheating. We broke up soon after. Which was traumatic. She managed to cheat on someone who is OK with all kinds of relationships. Which is kind of an achievement really. Vowed that I would never ever cheat on anyone because of that.
8.) Had my first threesome with my second girlfriend and a mutual friend. MFM.
9.) He is bi and I really gave myself permission to do whatever I wanted to him... Realized I didn't want to do anything to him. He was extremely nice about the whole thing.
10.) I did kiss him... It was awkward. But made her hot.
11.) Met my future wife and fell in love, lust and partnership.
12.) Broke up with second girlfriend and promised to stay friends. The break up went well... Then I was a terrible friend to her while focusing too heavily on the new girl. Which kind of violated the spirit, although not the wording, of the vow from # 7.
13.) Thought future wife was straight and I would have to be monogamous. Sad boy. :(
14.) We were together for a year when she asked if she could date another guy. Ecstatic boy! So relieved.
15.) After being married for a year I met my fourth girlfriend.
16.) Fourth girlfriend has PSAS, and is amazing in bed.
17.) We date for a couple of months and she starts getting jealous and we realize that she is not cut out to be an "Other Significant Other." There are many things that she deserves in a relationship that I can't give her, and it hurts both of us. So we decide to break things off.
18.) During this time my wife starts seriously dating her boyfriend. Who is an awesome guy, and a great friend.
19.) My wife is terrific and understanding and my emotional rock during the breakup.
20.) Realized that the relationship between your partners is critical. My wife and girlfriend didn't have much of a relationship, but did respect each other. Things would have gone better if they had established more of a connection.
21.) Discovered that you can be totally in love with your wife, and depressed and sad that you have broken up with your girlfriend at the same time.
22.) Discovered that dancing with both of them at the same nightclub can be really fun, but can also have emotional consequences.
23.) Dating while married is so much easier, emotionally, than dating while single. See #19.
24.) Still wish I had a girlfriend, miss her terribly. Realized that triad is my natural and preferred state. Which may not be fair to my wife, as when we married that wasn't really the plan. But people grow and change over time, and it is not a threat to my happy marriage, yet.
25.) They say that the average member of the population tends to have the same number of lovers before marriage as they do after marriage. I think that I will skew that statistic a bit over the course of my lifetime. Here's hoping!
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