Sunday, May 24, 2009

1. I've kissed 6 guys, and had sex with only 1. I'm 20.
2. My mom has always have a negative impact on my sexuality. She had my sister when she was 18, which was terrible for her, so I think she tried as hard as she could to make us ignorant about sex, to be innocent, to give us a bad image of it, which worked with me. I've had a hard experience with sex; she made me repress my sexuality.
3. I was into anime when I was a teen. I once bought this Evangelion zine, that explained the series. It had one page dedicated to yaoi, but I had zero interest on it. My mom found the zine, saw the yaoi and almost killed me. She told me that "porn is not love" and she threw it away. I really liked the zine (for the information it had), so I bought another one. My mom again was pissed, but I kept it. It was a very uncomfortable issue.
4. My first kiss was with a drunk guy I was dancing with in a disco, when I was 16. I felt raped, mainly because he also started touching my cunt violently. But I was so scared I just didn't have the will to run.
5. I had intense sexual fantasies when I was a teen. I didn't masturbate though, I just couldn't imagine I could do that (again, my mom's influence). Most fantasies were about my crushes at the time, in places like the prom, stuff like that.
6. I was with a guy I really, really liked when I was 17. He was a year older than me. We were best friends at the time. He broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years, and the day after that he went to my school, and we kissed under a tree. I was so happy. Then we went to my home and kept on making out until my mom found us in my room, it was awful. He cheated on me after a while. I still feel attracted to him, I would sleep with him if I could, but I don't love him. He's an emo jerk.
7. My first boyfriend was kind of short; kissing was awkward. He was very ignorant too; he french kissed me only like a week before he broke up with me. Our friends were disgusted when they saw us kissing. I loved him, nevertheless. We're friends now.
8. My second boyfriend and I were both virgins when we started dating, but we were horny all the time. We made out in friends' living rooms while they were watching movies in the other room, or in cars in the middle of nowhere, in his room while his siblings played Wii near-by.
9. The first time he finger-fucked me, I felt terrible. I almost cried.
10. We lost our virginity together after 3 months dating, on a Valentine's day. I wore lace tights. I had a big orgasm, my first, it was amazing. I felt I was in heaven. He couldn't come, though, so at the end he was hurting me. After that we took a shower and saw TV naked in my parents' room. We high-fived because we'd lost our virginity while staying in our country's average age (to lose your virginity).
11. Every time, at the start of sex, it hurt me a lot. I still don't know why. It was terrible for me to see how we worried so much about it, but I couldn't help it.
12. I've only had orgasms from vaginal sex like twice. But I always did when he gave me an oral job, always. He was pretty good at it (I think, I can't compare). I like to give blowjobs now too; at first I felt like a whore.
13. I like the missionary, but I've started to like doggy style more. It's so sexy.
14. I like to masturbate. I started about 5 months ago, while seeing a soft-porn flick in Cinemax. But up until now, I can do it only while watching porn. I didn't like hardcore porn up until recently, but I still think most porn is too male-orientated. I like to see how a guy licks a girl's cum. I once came while watching lesbian porn.
15. I had doubts about my sexual orientation when I was a teen. But with time I came to realize it was just an attraction to the female body as a beautiful thing, not sexually. I like to draw females, and I like see pretty and interesting-looking women in the subway, but I'm not sexually attracted to them, or to the idea of kissing or having sex with a girl.
16. I have a deep gratitude towards my ex. He was a teacher; he wasn't afraid of my repression, and was super kind and tender, and made me feel incredibly attractive. He helped me overcome my mom's fears, the ones she passed to me. I don't know if I still love him, I know I did. He made me realize sex is a great thing, not something sinful, or wrong. We still see each other. We haven't slept together since the break-up, but I think we will. Sometimes I wonder if we should have an open relationship. The idea sounds exciting.
17. Sometimes I want to have a threesome, either 2 boys and a me, or a boy, me, and another girl. But I don't know where to ask, or to who.
18. I want to do it in weird places. When I'm bored at classes I imagine my self having sex in the clas room, with or without people watching. Or in the subway, or in a plane, or the beach, etc.
19. I don't like to swallow sperm. I just find it weird.
20. I like to shave all of my pubic hair, but I don't do it as often as I should. When I do I can get aroused just by going upstairs wearing certain pants, which is awesome. Plus it's a whole different experience to have a guy give you oral sex with or without hair. I don't see why some girls don't like to do it.
21. I get super aroused when a guy licks my fingers like he's doing a blow job. Same thing when I get kissed and licked in the ear. Same goes with toes.
22. I love beards, and hairy guys. Not TOO hairy, but the right amount. I like how facial hair feels when rubbed in my face. I like "macho" guys: prominent nose, beard, big arms. I love a nice, big arm; the feeling of being held, feeling protected. Leather jackets are so sexy. I want to have sex with a tattooed guy. I've had fantasies with tattooed classmates I've never talked to.
23. I don't like to dress up, I feel stupid. I don't like acting either, or stripping. I'm insecure, and have a big sense of ridiculous. I do think I have to overcome that.
24. I like rough sex; beds that sound like crazy, aggressive humping, scratching, even biting.
25. I love to get in the paper of the sex-advisor of my virgin girlfriends. I've become more and more liberal with time, and I really like to teach them to overcome their fears, and to give them tips. Strangely, I don't talk much about sex with my experienced friends. I think it's because I know their boyfriends too much, or because mine was too close to them too.