Thursday, October 1, 2009

1. The first time I got an erection I thought something was physically wrong with me, but I was entirely too ashamed to tell either of my parents about the incident. It wasn't until 5th grade that everything was spelled out for me. Now I love my erections.

2. My first kiss was an equal combination of supremely awkward and exquisitely romantic. I was 17 (a late bloomer, I know), we were in a park, and I told her I liked her. After she told me she liked me, she asked "well, what now?" I responded, "I guess... this," leaned in for the kiss, and promptly scraped my teeth against hers.

3. Nothing gets me more excited than slowly moving my hand under a girl's shirt, up her back, and softly feeling her bra strap. Bonus points if it's lacy.

4. ...though I am an ass man.

5. My first sexual encounter was in 6th or 7th grade with a guy named Jon. We would sleep over at each others' house and play with each other's penises. Despite being the same age, I was way more developed than him, and constantly pointed that fact out. We stopped around 8th grade, and he came out in 9th grade. Our friendship ended, not because he was gay, but because he told people that I had paid him 5 bucks to give me a blowjob, which simply never happened.

6. I think girls should never be ashamed of the way their vaginas look or smell. It's almost always arousing.

7. My pubic hair is usually trimmed, though I've only had one partner comment on it.

8. I shaved my pubic hair in 9th grade just for fun, and found it so arousing that I almost got an erection during a varsity basketball game while I was making my first ever appearance on the varsity court. Three days later, the pain of the razor bumps convinced me to never completely shave ever again.

9. Frankly, the majority of mainstream models don't arouse me. I find the production value entirely too sleazy, and the fantastical look too unrealistic to be pretty. I like it when girls laugh, not hook their fingers in their mouths.

10. I lost my virginity at the age of 19, in my freshman college dorm room, while listening to Providence by Sonic Youth. I found it boring, unsensual, and slightly awkward because I never came. Though I mostly thought that was her fault at first, I realized that she had been a very supportive and caring first time partner: she let me do what felt comfortable, she never pushed me or degraded me, she insisted that I take my time, and she complimented my cock. Though I never thought of us as a couple, I apparently broke up with her a week later, and have regretted it ever since.

11. I used to really enjoy looking up girls' skirts, but I now just find it slightly creepy.

12. However, I used to think bondage was gross, but I now I find the idea incredibly arousing. Though I tried a little bit with one partner, she wasn't very excited about the idea, and I wish I could find someone who was.

13. My favorite sexual act is mutual oral sex, though being 6' 7" makes it a little difficult to perform.

14. The most kinky orgasm I've ever had was while driving. My girlfriend-at-the-time and I were on our way back from a music festival, and, having stayed at a friends' house with several other friends in the same room as us, we both felt incredibly horny. I fingered her a number of times during the drive, and she felt like she needed to reciprocate by giving me road head. The vibrations of the car mixed with the excitement that came from being in what was an essentially public venue made me have one of the best orgasms ever. It might have been the first time I ever came in a girl's mouth. To this day, I cannot discuss the subject of road head without getting a big grin on my mouth.

15. Having my head scratched is probably the most sensual-but-not-necessarily-sexual feeling for me.

16. I love it when girls bite my lower lip during a kiss.

17. All panties are beautiful, regardless of the type or the pattern. In fact, I think that normal briefs with swallows on them are just as sexy as mesh G-strings. I've always wondered if girls fetishize male underwear like I fetishize female underwear. Or perhaps I'm just buying into another construct of our phallocentric society...

18. I first started masturbating at the age of 11. Though I love masturbation today, I wish that I could remember my first orgasm.

19. One of my favorite masturbation techniques involves me not masturbating for several days. The resulting orgasm is always extremely satisfying and rewarding. This usually occurs during vacations.

20. While I hate drunken sexual activity, I want to try stoned sex really bad. I love getting myself off after a night of heavy smoking with friends, and I can only imagine the mutual feeling of enjoyment that would stem from sex in a smoky room.

21. Eating a girl's pussy is so amazing. The taste of her juices combined with the feeling of her hair makes the experience amazing. I still cannot understand why other dudes dislike this act so much.

22. Now that I think about it, I get the most sexual pleasure out of mutual acts. Hearing a girl breathing heavily is beautiful, and feeling her contract to my touch is nothing short of a spectacle. The best sex I ever had was when I gave my then-girl friend her first orgasm during intercourse, I can't even describe the look of beauty on her face.

23. The first time I saw a vagina was when I was 5 or 6. I was playing doctor, and we each looked at each other's "things." I couldn't tell you what I thought of her vagina.

24. I prefer erotica to porn. Porn is too superficial for my tastes, and erotica is usually so much more creative. I can make an exception for the models on Abby Winters.

25. I like cuddling a lot, and I wish I could be little spoon more. Yup, a 6' 7" little spoon.