Thursday, April 12, 2012

1. I’m an almost-24-year-old girl from Europe. I’ve had 11 sexual partners (all guys) in my life, and the most recent was a guy I dated for four months and almost saw as my boyfriend. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago, and it still hurts.

2. I lost my virginity when I was nineteen. Back then I was a bit ashamed that I lost it so late, but it was more important to me that I did it with someone I loved and who loved me back.

3. The guy I lost my virginity to was my first boyfriend, and he’s been my only boyfriend so far (this was almost four years ago). He turned out to be a douchebag that didn’t really care for romance (and was always broke), didn’t listen to what I said and only wanted sex. Sure, I like sex too, but you have to be able to do more than that with your partner.

4. The rest of those eleven guys: 4 boyfriend material, 2 one night stands and the rest were fuck buddies.

5. I’ve always had trouble with men. My ex was a jerk, the boyfriend materials always dumped me, saying: “I’m sorry, but I don’t like you as much as you like me” and the fuck buddies were good in bed but douchebags otherwise. The ONS were just... ONS.

6. So the past 2 1/2 years of guys rejecting me has led to the conclusion that 1: guys are douchebags and I shall never date one again because of the pain you’ll have to go through when they dump you, and 2: Guys don’t want to date me or be my boyfriend because there probably is something wrong with me (which I don’t know what it could be).

7. I’ve actually had a kind of sexual experience with a woman. It was when I was 11 with my best friend. We were exploring each other’s bodies, and both liked it.

8. I’d like to try to have real sex with a woman now when I’m grown up. I’d love to be a bit tipsy then, so it doesn’t seem so awkward. And also that I wouldn’t have to do much to her, since I’ve never had sex with a woman before.

9. I really can’t say any of the names of the genitals of men/women. I refer to it as “down there” or just give hints so people understand what I’m talking about. I also find it hard to talk to a guy about things that turn me on, about what I want him to do and what I like when we have sex.

10. I have never had an orgasm from vaginal penetration, and really don't understand how that's possible without simultaneous clitoral stimulation. Many guys (and I) have been down there with both fingers and penises, but I feel nothing. Sure, it feels nice, but it doesn’t make me come. It’s an extra turn on if they use their fingers when they go down on me, though, but nothing more. I seriously doubt that I have a g-spot.

11. Speaking of fingers: except me, there have only been two guys who have been able to give me a clitoral orgasm with their fingers. The first one is my ex and the other one is the guy I dated most recently. But with the last one it only happened two or three times. They’re no good with their hands, and I don’t know how I should explain it to them so that it feels nicer.

12. I’ve been thinking about sex and wanted to have sex since I was seven years old.

13. I love masturbating, and I’ve done it on an almost regular basis since I was 14. I’ve tried in different places with different things, in the shower, with toys etc. If I’m in the mood I can masturbate up to five times a day. If I’m bored or can’t go to sleep, I masturbate.

14. I really like to watch porn, and almost anything turns me on there, especially girls who get orgasms that make them scream and lose all control, and BDSM movies. A great orgasm (now that I’m single) includes that and my dildo.

15. But officially I’ve never seen a porn movie in my life. Not a soul knows that I really like it and it turns me on. Not even any of the guys I’ve dated knows. It feels like a huge taboo, and girls are definitely not supposed to watch porn, only guys do.

16. Even though I like to look at BDSM and things like that, I’m more of a vanilla kind of girl in the sack myself. The most “kinky” stuff that I like is when a guy pulls my hair, when I have a pair of handcuffs or when he lightly holds his hands around my neck, as if he would strangle me. Spanking and calling me names during the act is such a turn off!

17. I’ve never had anal sex, and I’m not that interested in having it either. It just seems gross and, in my opinion, stuff is supposed to get out of there, not in. BUT if I meet a guy who knows what he’s doing I might consider it.

18. One thing I haven’t had either, and that I’m certain I won’t do any time soon is a threesome. It would just feel weird. Well, maybe if it was me and two guys it might work out. Maybe.

19. If I have sex and I come in some way, that’s the only time I feel fully satisfied. Then I easily can fall asleep or just... lay there. If I only get one and not the other, I can still go on teasing the guy or something like that. I need to have both of those things to be fully satisfied.

20. I don’t know why, but when I’m... anywhere, in the subway, in a restaurant, at school/work, I can’t resist to let my eyes wander to a man’s groin for a short moment and fantasize about what size their penis is, how it looks like, etc.

21. And boobs I really like. I like fondling my own, and would like to try to fondle and suck someone else’s boobs. They feel very nice.

22. I could never date a guy who’s chubby or who isn’t fit. Myself, I haven’t worked out for a year (but I’m not fat, I just got curves). That I haven’t gained any weight since is a mystery to me. But the guy I date/my future boyfriend has to be fit and work out. And he also has to be taller than me.

23. I love giving blow jobs. When I have my period I don’t have sex, but whoever I’m dating at the time get many blow- and hand jobs (which end up with us jumping into the shower together). And it’s generally a turn-on for me.

24. I love buying pretty underwear, especially laces and see-through underwear. I even have a corset. And I love to have matching sets. It very rarely happens that I wear a black bra with white panties e.g. if I go on a date, or go clubbing, the underwear that I wear is equally important as what I wear or my makeup (even though I’m not going to hook up with any guy). I feel even prettier with nice underwear.

25. One thing that I also like very much, and that I find very important in a relationship is those little everyday things, like cuddling or just kissing without having sex afterwards. Just lying in each other’s arms in the bed or in the couch while watching a movie. Things like that. I really miss that.