25 Things About My Sexuality

2012-01-22T23:35:00.000-08:00

1. I am a 25-year-old female. I don't really like saying "straight" woman, as I feel like it's limiting. "Bisexual" feels like lying, too, because I've never had gay sex. I've never even made out with another girl. This doesn't mean I won't in the future, though.

2. I've had sex with three men. I lost my virginity at 22 to my first real boyfriend. I instinctively knew that this guy was sort of a dick and really into himself, so I never told him that he was my first, as I knew he would use it as some sort of power play against me somehow. We didn't date for very long. The only reason I chose him as my first was that he was demonstrating very intense feelings for me, and I figured he was good for helping me get it over with.

3. I've actually never told ANYONE that I lost my virginity at 22. I've been telling people 18, and now if I go back on it, I look like an ass. I used to lie about my sexual experience a lot when I was a teenager, so I've still got lies from then that I feel I need to keep going. I feel really stupid about this.

4. I've always been very sex-obsessed, but very introverted, so no one really knows that side of me. No one really knows any side of me, really, except for the very few I keep close. Once I feel comfortable with someone, though, the dam bursts and I become a total over-sharer. I love talking about sex and sexuality with people, especially people I'm trying to fuck. Nothing turns me on quite like a great conversation loaded with sexual tension with someone who's reeeaally good at it (conversation, I mean). I also love having conversations about sex with female friends, who I'm also probably subconsciously trying to fuck. I don't know what that's about yet.

5. That's really the only way I know how to flirt with people. I'm painfully awful at being all coy and girly and giggly. We'll talk about music or what have you, I'll get us both a little drunk, then start casually slip something suggestive into the conversation in a one-of-the-boys way. Something like, "Why do girls in porn always do (x)?", or "Huh, that (obscure sexual activity)'s interesting. Have you ever done that?" or what have you. This steers the conversation to sex. If they don't strike me as a douchebag all the way through this conversation, I will awkwardly suggest sex. This, graceless as it may be, usually works. I wish I was less awkward.

6. I suppose I'm kinky, but I think I'm too lazy to be properly kinky. I love being dominated, and the more psychological and mentally stimulating something is sexually, the more I respond to it. I'm not that into physical pain or having anything done to my ass (Yet! I'm trying to work on that), though, so that really limits that type of thing. I like being tied up and spanked and teased and made to feel like a dirty whore/stupid little girl (Not literal little girl. You know what I mean. Right?)/object and all that, though, as long as we're both on-board that it's all make-believe and I know the guy cares deeply about me.

7. I really like watching men I'm attracted to jack off and come, preferably on me. Part of this might be the fact that they're sort of marking me. The other part of this is that I MADE them come. It's like getting a gold star; it's physical proof of an achievement, but also of my desirability. I might possibly have self-esteem issues.

8. I really used to get turned on by tormented, scathingly hilarious, brilliant, acid-tongued, fucked-up dudes who would be really mean to me in bed. Then I started dating one of those dudes, and thankfully it quashed that particular craving. Well, mostly. I do ask my current boyfriend to be mean to me in bed sometimes, as I referenced in #6.

9. My current boyfriend is impossibly sweet, but is also really toppy and loves to dominate. That's crazily hot to me. He's also slightly androgynous, which really turns me on. The fact that we could literally share clothes really turns me on. He has a baby deer-like innocence about him that makes me feel like I'm going to corrupt/break his tender, beautiful soul.

10. I had a life-altering thing with my art professor when I was 19. He was the film "Henry and June" personified, complete with the occasional hackyness and cloying pretentiousness. Still, he knew how to talk (and talk to me about me) in a way that shook me to my core and stroked my ego in the most intoxicating way. It was everything I've ever wanted anyone to say to me, and all in that heady, calculatingly seductive artspeak language. I knew he'd be amazing in bed, and know just what to say and do to blow my goddamned mind. He was also married, thirty-odd years older, and kind of gross. I didn't fuck him (didn't fuck anyone until I was 22, remember? Much too scared). There was an obscene amount of tension between us when I was in his class (I took aaalllll of his classes). Then, there was the three-month-long overseas e-mail extravaganza (he had moved to Paris, of course) that danced around the elephant in the room but didn't address it directly until the very end, when he sent me a dirty e-mail that was quite underwhelming considering the rich and unceasing tension that had lead up to it. I had a moment of clarity, realized I didn't want to fuck him ever, and said, basically, "Hey, you're married. This is fucked up," and he, naturally, became extremely mean to me. I don't blame him; I mindfucked him royally. I was a teenager, though. I didn't know anything. Regardless of the way it ended, I still measure all relationships by the way this thing made me feel in the beginning, which is unfair and amazingly unhealthy.

11. My fetish for teachers has something to do with this. I fetishize old-timey Professor archetypes the same way some men fetishize Catholic school girls. I'm talking about slightly older (30s-40s) men who wear tweed coats, elbow patches, glasses, are elegant, well-read, filthy-minded; basically a pervy version of Giles from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I have fantasies that involve being topped by these types of dudes. I don't care if it's clichéd; clichés like that exist for a goddamned good reason.

12. Addressing something I brought up in #4, I've always kind of had a crush on all of my best female friends. I'm the kind of person who has one obsessive best friend at a time, and when the intensity of it burns out, we drift apart and find new connections. I've seriously considered having sex with all of them, or at least I can get turned on thinking about them in sexual situations. I don't know if it's because I'm bisexual, or if it's because I get feelings of love and sex confused. I've never expressed this to anyone, and I've never acted on any of these impulses. I just know that if I ever got drunk/stoned enough around any of them, and there was a weird moment where that seemed possible, I'd be really into making out with them and getting them off. It's super creepy; I know. Maybe it's just a weird glitch in my brain where I love these people and they're not related to me, so that's how I should show them just how deeply I feel for them. Ugh. I'm creeping myself out. Some things sound really fucked up outside your own head.

13. I started masturbating at around 12, via shower nozzle, which is still a pretty solid method. I have a sizable box of dildos and vibrators and I love them all dearly. I'm very snobby and nerdy about sex toys. I could work in a high-end, feminist sex shop and be like one of the goddamned Geniuses at the Mac store. If someone were to inquire, I will happily talk to anyone about dildos in the same way I'd talk to anyone about computers. I actually know way more about dildos than I do computers, which is kind of sad.

14. The kinkiest thing I've ever done is fuck my ex-boyfriend up the ass with a strap-on. I wasn't very good at it. I liked the idea of it, though, and I'd like to get better at it, except I'd MUCH rather do it to a girl next time, only in her pussy as opposed to her ass. That idea turns me on, actually. I really wish I liked ass more. I feel like such a prude.

15. I wish I could have casual sex. I can have sex with people I care about but don't want to date (i.e. fuck-buddies), but the guy seems to get attached, and I can't stand causing people any kind of pain, so I stop having sex with them. I've only had this type of relationship once, though. I, personally, am totally capable of detaching and having sex with someone I know and like but don't want to be with seriously. I don't think I could have sex with strangers, because I'd be too scared of the unknown. I would love something uncomplicated sometimes, though.

16. My boyfriend has expressed to me that he not only would never have a threesome, but seriously judges people who would want a threesome. I think this is fucked up and really negative. I don't think I'd want to have a threesome with him, if he's going to have that attitude, but I think, in the right context and with the right people, a threesome would be fun. Realistically, though, I think this would be more fun in my head than in reality... but, really, who can say? All I know is that if the right opportunity presented itself, I would either try to convince him to do it/let me do it, or turn it down and be secretly resentful forever that he was so controlling about my sexual identity. Oh god, I sound like such an asshole. If this situation were reversed, I'd say, "What a dick. How dare he try and guilt me into a threesome?" Wait, would I? I don't even know. The point is that I'm scared of losing my sexual freedom, even though I've always been too scared to take full advantage of my sexual freedom whenever I've had it. Yeesh.

17. I'm sort of fascinated by porn, but none of it ever turns me on. It's more like going to the circus (I see a lot of it as grotesque and depressing). If they made porn that wasn't so cartoonishly garish, I might like it more. I'm usually turned on most by scenes in books and films. I also like written erotica if it's written well and has a solid, satisfying, plausible story. I now realize that I sound like a snobby, judgmental asshole a lot. That's probably because I am a snobby, judgmental asshole. Hopefully this will change in the future when I've gathered enough life experience to see things from more perspectives than my own narrow, constantly-terrified-of-life one.

18. I don't have any specific fantasies, really. This is mainly because my fantasies need to be as complex, engaging, and logically air-tight as a novel in order for them to interest me. This invariably leads to me trying to dream up an entire, fully-formed character to have sex with (to START with), and then falling asleep with my hand down my pants about ten minutes in. I can really only come if my mind is blank and all I'm focusing on is coming. Anything else is just a distraction.

19. I may not have actual fantasies, but I do have specific head spaces that I would like to get to during sex, and I can try and communicate what those places are and try to get them to get me there. This has never been successful, because I am as cryptic as an experimental director when I try to explain myself, due to shyness and crippling self-doubt about my own ideas. I'll say stuff like, "Make me feel small," but I won't explain much more than that. I am trying to write these things down so I can get better at articulating them and know how to ask for what I want.

20. I really, really want to do role-play scenarios. My boyfriend only knows this one scenario that his ex-girlfriend was into, which had him playing a burglar and breaking into the house to rape her. That doesn't really do it for me, and his ideas of a hot role-playing scenario never drift far from that tone. Considering he loves to ruthlessly dominate women and make them cry during sex, he must have something in him that goes deeper than "I just like the power" to draw from. Again, I have to man up and really ask myself what I want and learn how to ask for that instead of shitting all over other people's fantasies.

21. I always try to get to the darkest psychological places in people. I want to see how bad it gets in there so I know what I'm dealing with. I'm also curious; it's like rooting around in cobweb-covered boxes in people's basements. I want to see all the skeletons and all the decay so I know what I'm facing underneath the everyday disguise. In the sexual sense, this means that I try to coax the dark, sticky, very secret side out of whoever I'm involved with. I don't judge unless I feel like their fantasy is going to put me in some kind of danger, like if I'm dating someone who's really into beating people. If their fantasy is something like beating people, though, I try to find out about it as early into the relationship as possible for my own safety. I find it very unsettling not knowing how deep a lover's perversions go. I don't want to end up in a horror movie plot/true crime novel one day.

22 …and at the same time, I pick men who are emotionally damaged and prone to some pretty dark shit. By being submissive sexually, I think I fetishize my fear and try to feel like I'm in control by deciding to be turned on by, and thus take control of, the things I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of the unknown element that is pure male sexuality. I'm afraid of its potential violence and darkness. At the same time, a little of that is a huge turn-on. I just want to play with that energy in a way that feels like theater. I want someone who understands the difference between a pretend power war and a real one. I love the visceral punch to the psyche that s&m role-play provides, but I don't like physical pain. This need is so complicated that I can't even come up with a fantasy that would sate it. I'm sort of grasping desperately in the darkness to understand my own shit.

23. I think I'm trying to use sex to try and sate all of my greater needs. I use it like food, or books, or religion. I need sexual experiences to have the power to reach the depths of my soul and drag things screaming to the surface. I think in pursuing this, I suck my lovers dry. I want too much out of them; I want our souls to fuck each other. I'm trying to fill a way bigger hole than is realistic. Also, I think people's sexual selves are the windows into their souls. I NEED to know people sexually so I know who they really are. That's where all the wounds and scars and dreams collect in people. I want to heal those wounds and scars and liberate those dreams. ...With my vagina.

24. The only reason I don't top is that I'm lazy. I think, though, that if I got into it, I'd be a good top. I'd be a very playful top, though, not a scary one. Alas, my current boyfriend has serious issues with being controlled and would NEVER let me top him. This is an example of one's sexuality being a home for all of one's deepest issues and scars. I want to get to the bottom of it with him so he can get to a place where his sexual world doesn't have to be so violent and angry all the time. Some playfulness in sex would do him good.

25. I feel like I have so much sexual exploration ahead of me. Even if I never involve other people outside my current relationship, I want to try lots of different things. I want to experience many types of sexuality; I want to play with that energy and experience different sexual points of view; different head spaces. I know I will take this very far in the future, and I hope my boyfriend can come along with me on this journey, and I hope he doesn't try to put my sexuality in a box, seal it up, and label it "his" like all the other men have in my past. I probably should have gotten into that more here. Oh, well.

2012-01-21T23:27:00.000-08:00

1. I'm a 20-year-old non-virgin, and I know quite little about sex.

2. I don't really like watching porn, except if it is lesbian porn. I'm a girl of words, so I prefer written erotica; in fact, it turns me on sometimes.

3. Based on my past relationships, I'm straight, but I can't deny my attraction to girls. Sometimes, depending on the person, I say I am bisexual.

4. I do not own a sex toy yet, but I want to get one before I'm 21.

5. I kissed a girl once, and I cannot tell if I really liked it.

6. I fantasize about sex with one of my closest friends. Her lips look ah!-mazing.

7. I've had sex with only 2 guys. I got introduced by the first, and the second schooled me a bit.

8. I am extremely attracted to myself, and I sometimes fantasize about myself.

9. I got my first oral sex while I was 19 from my second. I love it, and it took that long because my first did not like the smell of pussy.

10. I still want to have sex with my first, and we fucked for a while after we broke up. Actually pretty much until the second and I mentioned the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend."

11. I have forgotten how just kissing feels, and this Barbados boy is teaching me. The guys I fucked turned me on from kissing, and I love to move fast to the sex part.

12. I have never had a threesome but I constantly think about it. I share that with a lot of guys I have something with. I want one with m/f/me or f/f/me.

13. I'm a cynical romantic, so I like to move straight to sex (not a big fan of foreplay, although I'm a tease), but I love/ appreciate little romantic gestures.

14. There are so many places I want to have sex. In one word, EVERYWHERE.

15. I love sex, but contrary to what my partners may think, I'm entirely independent of it, although some days, I get this insane craving.

16. I masturbate, but not really. While it is fun, just remember the orgasms I gave myself, what was I typing? Refer to #15 and #4 for why I hardly masturbate.

17. I've been told that I flirt a lot, although most times I am totally oblivious to it until I see the effects or I am told about it. I still do not believe I can flirt, but then I've been given high flirting ratings by my friends.

18. I have this cute innocent face, and this has driven my fantasies. Some involve older men (like forties), but most always end up getting back to women. I want a cougar.

19. I have a really perverted mind, and I find sexual references in the least obvious plain words.

20. My first told me that I give a mean BJ. I don't know if this has to do with the fact that we love each other, but I do put my all to giving BJs. And I do not like men to give me BJs, except that they turn me on and help with my self-fantasies.

21. I do not have a compiled list of people I will fuck, but most times when i refer to a person as hot, I basically want to fuck them.

22. When I'm talking to a guy and my eyes wander to his crotch area, I like to imagine the size of his dick, if it is not already obvious from his bulge, and imagine it going deep in me.

23. I still have religious conflict with my love for sex and my non-virgin status.

24. While kissing, I'm not a big fan of exchanging saliva (germ issues), and I used to love kissing. I've kissed, I think, six people. I do not keep count.

25. I love walking about my house naked.

2012-01-20T23:19:00.000-08:00

1. I’m an 18-year-old man attracted to men.

2. I was first introduced to sex at 12. I had a friend the same age as me; he asked if I wanted a blowjob. Essentially, I shrugged my shoulders and consented. It led to me returning the favor. I didn’t think much of it at the time. In retrospect, I might have realized that a) I enjoyed this activity a lot, and not just how it felt physically, and b) he must have been exposed to sexual content at a very young age. Who knows how long he’d been wanting to test out something sexual?

3. We continued casual oral sex and hand jobs for years. We were never in a romantic relationship, and it frustrated me. There was no way that I could even begin to describe my feelings. I wasn’t sure of them, myself.

4. In middle school I started to realize that I found men attractive. I was also somewhat attracted to women, and this fed my denial. I didn’t have a sudden epiphany; any thoughts like, “Oh, my God, I’m gay,” were instantaneously suppressed, as if I was afraid someone would read my mind. At some point I came to the conclusion that all guys were just pretending to be completely straight, that everyone was actively hiding a communal bisexuality, and that gender was a performance.

5. In eighth grade, I had a crush on a girl. She was the type that had no real friends, wasn’t very pretty, and got picked on a lot. Through the fact that we both liked the same band and that I wanted to protect her from bullies, I convinced myself I was in love. This further shut out my impending homosexuality. I fantasized about her romantically: never sexually. That year I began to search for homoerotic pictures on the internet, again telling myself that all guys were pretending to be straight. The fear of my classmates thinking I was gay was at an all time high. I realized that my "love" for this girl was a sham, and finally thought of myself as gay.

6. Honestly, I don’t think I’m gay: not in the strictest sense. Through tons of self-reflection, I think that I was born bisexual, hit puberty, and my sexuality naturally shifted closer to homosexuality. I’m still slightly attracted to women, particularly their breasts, though not nearly as much as a man’s body. I don’t think that I could ever be sexually attracted to a woman enough to be in a relationship, so I usually identify as "gay" to be brief.

7. Despite my appreciation for breasts, I don’t personally like nipple play in any shape or form. It’s not easy for me to be stimulated during sex through my nipples.

8. I’m a bit of a voyeur. I don’t really appreciate sites where you’re supposedly watching someone masturbate that’s totally clueless that he’s being watched. What I really like is watching a man sleep. There’s something amazing about it. They’re adorable, but at the same time masculine and peaceful. A sleeping beauty...

9. I’m submissive. I like the feeling of being dominated, but not in a violent way. I love men who are confident and take control. I kind of like the idea of being a "damsel in distress," even though it’s silly. It’s a sort of knight-in-shining-armor complex.

10. I’m not a sadist, and I’m not a masochist. Like I said before, I don’t like being dominated in a violent way. However, I don’t mind being handled roughly and even something along the lines of spanking isn’t past my limits.

11. I didn’t always like penises. When I first began to look at pictures of men on the internet, I avoided the full-frontal ones. It might have been part of my denial, but I just found them ugly and unattractive. I’m much more excited by them now.

12. I prefer girth over length. For some reason, when a guy has a thicker penis it looks a lot manlier to me than if a guy has a longer one.

13. Even though I can be a little defensive of my space at times, I crave physical contact with men. A warm hug or embrace is really much more effective to me than encouraging words.

14. I’ve never liked the look of extremely slender men. It might stem from the fact that I’m so thin myself, but I prefer men who are muscular, a bit heavyset, or both.

15. I first masturbated sometime after I had my sexual encounter with my friend. It was an attempt to imitate the oral sex with my hand; I was so young that I didn’t even know what masturbation was.

16. I now masturbate daily. I usually do so just before I go to sleep. Most of the time, I find porn to watch, but sometimes I masturbate without using the computer.

17. I dislike porn that looks faked. If the actors seem to be there for a casual fuck and don’t put anything into it, I look for something else. The best pornography has actors who make love, and express their love in front of the camera.

18. Straight porn is my guilty pleasure; I’ve found sites that show compassionate actors and actresses, some real loving couples (apparently), and if it seems authentic, I’ll take it over sketchier gay porn.

19. Hairy men don’t bother me most of the time. Some men look much better with chest hair, for example, but for others, it’s excessive. I think that a healthy medium is best.

20. I love jockstraps. Men that can’t fill out their jockstraps well remind me of deflated balloons. Considering the fact that I prefer girth, it’s no surprise that I love when a guy’s bulge shows that he has it.

21. I’ve never had anal sex, though I’m sure I’d prefer to be the "bottom." I am submissive, after all.

22. Breathing in my ear turns me on. I’m not sure why. Sometimes very close whispers will produce the same effect. I was once held down by a friend and for some reason he started to blow into my ear. It tickled me, but I had to hide an erection for half an hour afterwards.

23. My abdomen, just above the pubic area, is a huge erogenous zone for me. I can’t keep myself from rubbing it when I masturbate. With the combination of my submissive nature, my craving for physical contact, and my sensitive ears and abdomen, if a man stood close behind me, sensually rubbed my abdomen, and whispered into my ear, he would have me wrapped around his finger.

24. I’m on the fence about fisting. I’m almost 100% sure that I would never participate in it myself, but watching it can be exhilarating. In many ways, a man’s fist is the ultimate representation of girth.

25. I’m sure it’s not the same for everyone, but I know from experience that my sexuality is fluid, at least to an extent. I don’t think it’ll ever shift back to bisexuality, but who knows? Maybe my tastes will change with experience. Only time will tell.

2012-01-18T23:15:00.000-08:00

1. I'm 22 years old, and I lost my virginity when I was 14. I was super-drunk and thought having sex with him would make him love me.

2. I have had sex with more than 10 people. I was not in relationships with mosts but only 2 of them were one-night stands.

3. I have had a threesome with a close mate and a guy whose name I didn’t even know.

4. I have tried anal a few times. The first time I actually enjoyed it and got off on it. The second time I was in so much pain I cried.

5. My favorite sex positions would be doggy or myself on top.

6. I enjoy being spoken to dirty--being called a slut, bitch, whore... but afterwards I like being told that he loves me and doesn’t think I’m any of the things he called me while we were having sex.

7. I have a blue vibrator. I enjoy people watching me while I use it.

8. I watch porn, not always, but I enjoy anything that looks real.

9. I haven't done anything but kiss a chick. I would like to try it someday, though I'm not sexually attracted to chicks.

10. I can't use condoms because they make my vagina swell up. (I get tests for STIs a lot, and I've always been clear!)

11. I have touched myself on webcam for random guys many times, I enjoy doing it. I actually first saw my now-boyfriend on webcam.

12. One time I was so horny I stuck a deodorant can up inside it. It was so cold, and made me come faster then I ever had before.

13. I enjoy having sex in the outdoors. The idea of being caught turns me on.

14. I love having my tits touched and my ass touched while I'm having sex.

15. I enjoy giving head, most of the time.

16. The first time I masturbated I was very young and didn’t even know what I was doing, but it felt good so I did it every night.

17. My first kiss was a chick, we used to play mums and dads. I later found out she was touched by her father and that she was just doing to me what he had done to her. We were like 7 years old.

18. I enjoy having sex with other people when I’m in a relationship. Even the idea of this makes me horny.

19. I would like to have a threesome with myself, any another girl and my partner, but I worry he will enjoy her more then me.

20. I have only ever had one wet dream. My ex (who wasn't my ex at the time) was in bed with me, and I woke up just as I was about to come. I had to ask him the next day if he had tried to have sex with me in my sleep.

21. I would like to try being tied up and dominated.

22. I would rather have random sex then a random kiss, and only kiss the people I love.

23. I think about sex a lot, I just don’t usually tell people. Most people think I'm still a virgin.

24. I have had sex with most of my mates' boyfriends, more then once. They wouldn’t have any idea. As I said, they think I'm a virgin. Their bfs usually come back for more.

25. I'm leaving now to touch myself.

2012-01-16T23:05:00.000-08:00

1) I’m a 23-year-old girl, and I’ve had my boyfriend for 3 years now. He’s 8 years older than I am. It’s not the age difference that turns me on, just the fact that boys tend not to turn into men until about 25-30. My boyfriend is my youngest. My oldest was 22 years older than me. I met him when I was 18 and I don’t recommend it at all!

2) In the first sex dream I remember having, I was a guy, and I was fucking a seemingly endless number of girls in a row. That’s pretty odd to me, because I’m very heterosexual and have never been turned on by a woman awake or in a dream since.

3) I’ve never watched porn. It’s fake and unnatural to me, but I don’t condemn others who like it. In a perfect world, I would make it impossible for people (mainly boys) to watch it before they’ve had sex themselves. I think it sets horrible demands on boys and girls to perform/look a certain way/like specific things.

4) For a while I read sex novels. They can be slightly better than porn, but usually they are as unrealistic because the men who write them delude themselves into thinking that they can write from a woman’s perspective. They can’t.

5) I had my first orgasm at the age of 18. I never really tried before that, due to low self-esteem and depression.

6) I lost my virginity at the age of 19, which was about 4 years too late for me. I had really low self-esteem and didn’t think that anybody would want me. I still had the urge to have sex just as any other teen, resulting in weird thoughts about going out at night and being raped “on purpose” just to get it over with.

7) I had my period when I lost my virginity. That, and the fact that the guy wasn’t very well endowed, made me wonder for weeks if it really counted as losing my virginity.

8) I had my first kiss about 2 minutes after I lost my virginity. It was as bad as the sex before it.

9) I’ve only had 4 sexual partners. Too few.

10) I’ve faked orgasms on more than one occasion. I stared doing it because I was insecure about the fact that I can’t come with a guy. The problem is that once you start doing it with somebody, you can’t stop.

11) I’ve had an orgasm in my sleep on two occasions. As a woman, you don’t have the telltale physical sign of it on the sheets, but I was still dead certain! I was sad that I missed it and “only” got to experience the wonderful after-orgasm-calm that follows.

12) I regret not having sex with some hunky 19-year old sex machine before I met my boyfriend, just because I want to know what it’s like.

13) The easiest way for me to get off is with a shower head. It’s not very practical, though…

14) I think I come about as often as any other 23-year old. I just do it in “chunks” for practical reasons. I’ll masturbate once or twice a month and come 5-15 times/”session” instead of coming once a day or every other day. Sadly, I'm not particularly horny when I do it, I do it mainly because it makes me calm/at peace. If I wanted to, I could think about door mats/RV’s/spoons during the masturbation without any effect on the outcome.

15) Sex and my orgasms are totally separate things to me. I’ve never reached orgasm except when masturbating by myself, and it has never been a problem for me. However, my partner's orgasm with or without penetration is extremely important to me. There is nothing sexier than to see/hear/taste/feel him coming right in front of me! I’ve never understood why my own excitement is so dependent on my partner's, I can only say that the thought of being “used”/”exploited” is very arousing.

16) I could easily have sex several times a day. Unfortunately, my boyfriend doesn’t feel the same. This has resulted in me catching myself fantasizing about him with all the people I imagine he has had sex with before he met me. I’m a bit ashamed about it, but what could be hotter than my gorgeous boyfriend when he was young and horny and wanted to have sex as often as I do now?

17) My boyfriend is the best kisser I’ve had. He’s also the best sex I’ve ever had.

18) The best sex is when I get thrown onto the bed without a word, taken hard from behind - without any foreplay – until I scream out loud, he comes, and then we lay sweaty in each other’s arms, falling asleep.

19) I don’t mind being pulled by the hair or grabbed hard by my hips, but I don’t like to be spanked. Unfortunately, my boyfriend likes to spank. So he gets to, because it turns him on, which in the end turns me on. Very anti-feministic...

20) I shave my pubes. All of them. Not because I like to, but because my boyfriend likes it. I hate it – it inches like crazy after just a couple of hours. On the plus side: the oral sex is sooo much better without the hair!

21) I hate the thought of being on top, because I get very insecure about how my body looks from his point of view, and so I have never learned how to ride a man. After 4 very sexually active years, I feel ashamed that I’ve never mastered this basic position, just because of my own insecurity. I’m a bit surprised that my steady relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years hasn’t cured my stage fright.

22) I’ve never understood why one should use sex toys. Perhaps as a last resort when extremely horny, you have nobody to sleep with and furthermore have a paralyzed hand. There’s nothing sexy about a sex toy! The one dildo I owned (got it from my first partner) I threw out long ago.

23) I don’t get girl sex. Oral sex does not count as either homo or hetero sex according to me, neither does masturbation. And if you want to have long, cylinder formed objects thrust into you in a repetitive movement, whether they are driven by blood or electricity, you like dick. You might not be able to fall in love/have a relationship with a guy, but you are turned on by men. Scissoring I can accept as a purely lesbian thing... but is that all? Do they do anything else? And yes, I am a bit ashamed by the fact that I‘m not more enlightened.

24) I’ve never cheated, but I have been the other woman once. Never again, I say! Not because I think I did something morally wrong, but because people who cheat on people are horrible people and are not good to hang with.

25) I don’t like to have sex in cars. I’ve had way too much of it – and I have a scar on the skin at the center of my spine to prove it. One of the many drawbacks of having sex with somebody who doesn’t want to get caught having sex with you.

2012-01-15T22:59:00.000-08:00

1. I'm a 60+ straight male, married to the same woman for over 35 years. We lost our virginity to each other and married a year and a half later. I'm extremely average in size.

2. I have trouble coming inside a woman these days, but I've always been able to hold off for a while, sometimes to the annoyance of my partners.

3. I tend to be dominant with my partners, more so if it seems to turn them on.

3. I have a partner a time zone away, and we've been a couple of our sort for over 6 years. She has a collar and wears it at BDSM events and much of the time we're together.

4. I enjoy finding what rings my partner's chimes. That's more important than any single act.

5. I enjoy getting head, kissing, touching, giving anal, being rimmed, missionary, doggy style, cowgirl, almost anything that turns on my partner. If I want something and I see in her eyes that she's not into it, I drop it. It doesn't do anything for me if she doesn't enjoy it.

6. I've been with women who enjoyed being tied, strangled, spanked, treated like little girls, who've had boyfriends and husbands that wouldn't or couldn't do what I did for them.

7. I've had sex in hotel rooms, bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens, bathrooms, hallways, lawns, cars, vans, national parks and clubs. No public restrooms or phone booths.

8. I once blindfolded and handcuffed a girlfriend on a pathway in a park and led her on a leash, cutting her clothing away as we went. We went 100 yards or so after she was totally naked. It thrilled her. We ended it with her going down on me on a park bench before I unhooked her hands and got busy on the bench.

9. I've ended up having anal sex before vaginal sex with 4 women. 3 of the 4 ended up being long term relationships.

10. I learned to masturbate (to conclusion) at 19. I lost my virginity at 20.

11. I've taught two women how to perform cunnilingus; one was 20 and the other was 36. I've taught two women how to masturbate and gave them their first orgasms; one was 24 and the other was in her mid-40s. The 24 year old was a virgin. The woman in her 40s was married with 3 children. Later I took her to a sex shop where a salesgirl showed her vibrators.

12. A girlfriend told me she couldn't come from sex. After we had made love, I'd lay next to her and have her masturbate for me. That worked.

13. I have no rape fantasies. The thing that is important to me is the sense that my partner is excited by me and wants me.

14. A partner I hadn't seen in several years sent me a note asking if I'd take her to a BDSM club. I did. The last thing she did that night was to sit on a Sybian and have several orgasms with a crowd watching.

15. Most porn bores me these days.

16. I enjoy photography. I've done photo shoots with several lovers, and just as many with women who want to be models and need a first portfolio, or who want a photo for their own lover and who have no interest (sexually) in me.

17. A woman I know is a grandmother and enjoys being spanked and calling me daddy.

18. I've been interviewed by Ph.D. students who were interested in the BDSM community.

19. I'm a member of some BDSM organizations. I regularly take women who are interested in masochism or exhibitionism and bondage to public clubs, and tie or flog or strip them as one of many couples doing similar things.

20. I'm circumcised.

21. I've gone down on most of my partners, though some have been uncomfortable. Being the dominant in a relationship complicates that as well.

22. I've shaved many of my partners' pubes, some in private, some publicly at clubs.

23. My last two ended sexual relationships ended with us staying friends, but with them asking me for advice on their next boyfriend.

24. My current interest and I are working on perfecting our skills at prostate massage and g-spot massage.

25. One thing being in a BDSM community has done for me is it's given me a sense of a whole new set of cues. Knowing how to hug a naked woman when she greets you is more complicated than I would have expected a decade ago. I'd have taken the nudity as a license, but now I can tell when I'm being invited to do more than just hug them.

2012-01-12T22:55:00.000-08:00

1. I'm a guy in my 20s. I was born female.

2. My first memory of sexuality was when I was in kindergarten. We were cutting celebrities out of magazines, one girl said "This lady is beautiful" and another girl said "You can't say that, she's a girl." I said "Why does it matter?" I remember wondering what it would be like to kiss the celebrity woman's rose-red lips.

3. In the playground, I vividly remember always being the boy. I didn't get along with my girl friends unless I was playing a prince, or male hero of some kind.

4. When I was 5 years old, I woke up to my best friend's mum's drunken boyfriend licking my vagina. Next thing I remember is my mum's boyfriend yelling, then violence. I remember his blood on the wall. I remember watching him walking away down the street, and me feeling sorry for my best friend. I feel uncomfortable about the memory because of the violence, and only feel awkward about the sexual circumstance because I’m "supposed" to. I've forgiven this stranger.

5. When I was about 7, I was at my mum's friend’s house, being minded by a 16-year-old boy. I thought he was really sweet. He told me he wanted to marry me. I remember him teaching me how to French kiss. His aunt found out and he got "the talk." I never saw him again.

6. When I was 12, I went on a sailing trip with my mum's boyfriend and his son. I loved this man a lot, he was a real dad and knew how to have fun. Unfortunately, he got drunk and started touching me. I was starting to hit puberty, and my body reacted. I wanted to know how it felt. But I knew it was wrong and pushed him away, jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I remember sitting in the sand and crying all night in the rain, hearing him call out for me across the water. Long story short, police got involved but it went nowhere. I felt terrible about it and really let it affect me for most of my teenage years. When I was about 17, I called the man and told him I forgave him. I don't feel upset thinking of him anymore, but boats and that beach freak me out. I want to go back there and let it go.

7. It's hard to explain why I’m forgiving towards these people. One part of me says I should be angry about what they did. Another part of me knows I'm more upset about the emotional stress rather than the sexual nature of the incidents. I've felt ashamed when I've bought into the horrible belief that "kids who've been fiddled are fucked up." Some people experience far more traumatic stories than mine. I don't feel "damaged" by what happened, and refuse to let that pain be my story because I'm actually okay. To say otherwise would be disrespectful to those for whom it's really scarring. I'd rather understand that these adults made huge mistakes - the idea of them carrying pain when I’m all right bothers me. I don't want to hate them. I won't let their actions control my sexual self-esteem.

8. These experiences caused me to try things I probably wouldn't have, like kissing and playing "sex" with best friends and family before I hit puberty. I felt a lot of regret about these situations and have apologized to some of them, which they then opened up to me about, and instead of feeling ashamed about it, they've been able to let it go.

9. I started masturbating around 12 and would often spend hours pretending there was an imaginary person for me to build up to the "sex" with, putting together an elaborate scene until we finally fucked. I can always make myself come more than anyone else has managed, and it's always thinking about something filthy.

10. Age 14, I had sex but he didn’t pop my cherry. I visited a friend I hadn't seen since primary school. I got drunk for the first time on Jack Daniels and we walked to her older boyfriend’s house. He had a friend over. She went and slept with her boyfriend and me and his friend fooled around on the couch and he fucked me. It was exciting at the time, but he couldn’t keep it inside me and I kept thinking it was meant to feel better than it did. For a long time, I remembered every detail, what he looked like, his name, the music. Now all I've got is the taste of the cherry condom.

11. I had a mix of boyfriends and girlfriends in high school. It felt right with girls as I could be myself (dressing masculine, short hair, etc.), but with my boyfriends, I didn't feel right trying to be a guy with them - trying to use my girl body to get physically close to them always felt backwards. They weren't gay or bi, so we didn't fit. I never had sex with any of my partners until my current partner, they were more like intimate playmates. I'm still friends with all my exes.

12. Men, women, anyone in between; I love them all. Sex is about connections and pleasure, but gender comes last for me. I love people for the sexual organ between their ears. Imagination is what makes a person good in bed. I just go with "queer" and "poly" to make sense for other people. I’m more likely to think about making out with someone and sleeping with them than actually fucking them though.

13. I'm not really a video porn person, but I have gigs of naked art and photos. I love artistic sex. I'm more likely to watch porn that's really whack for interest more than masturbatory reasons. If I want to get off to anything, the sound has to be working. Moaning, whimpering, dirty talk. Mmm. Hearing someone enjoying themselves is more of a turn-on than seeing cum explode everywhere.

14. I'm in love with a beautiful woman. She's genderqueer, playing a boy often, but has no desire to transition physically. From the outside we're a stereotypical heterosexual couple. It's funny how people treat you differently, compared to being a lesbian couple. Funny and stupid.

15. We've been together for years. One night we were wrestling, we starting kissing, and the rest is history. When we decided to date, she said she wanted to try it with a boy one day. Our relationship was open before we knew of such a thing. Funnily enough, she hasn't slept with any cis-boys, and the few times we've been with other people, she's been with girls. She took my virginity a few months into our relationship one night when we were fooling around with ice cubes. It hurt a lot, but I was shaking with pleasure.

16. We had a third person to our relationship and we lived together for a time, and it was the hardest relationship I've ever been in. I learned a lot about wanting to be with someone physically and then wanting another person to share your life with. Even though it hurt a lot to let them go when we realized it wasn't working, we're still friends, and I'd be happy to keep an open mind for another person if they fit.

17. My favourite turn-on ever is role-playing characters. We can play all day, then when we're alone, we finally get to tear each other's clothes off and it's like fucking for the first time. It means we explore a range of sexual desires, kinks and chemistry. We stay playful and this keeps our lust fresh. Plus we grow to understand a range of personality types in the world, and learn lots about what other people find hot. We try it and if we don't like it, no biggie.

18. We're curious creatures and have explored lots of kinks. Some things we've tried are bloodletting, wax, spanking, bondage, toys, ageplay, incest, genderplay, costumes, rape fantasy. We research a lot beforehand, for safety and nerdy reasons.

19. Once we met this sexy guy at a costume party who was dressed as a character we both liked. He fucked me while she watched. My girl started whispering things in my ear and we secretly played boys while he fucked me.

20. I really like kissing. Touching is important for me, it doesn't have to be sexual, but I love touching people. Showing affection. I love giving blowjobs, worshipping my lover (only two guys, but anytime I've blown girls they lost control.) I've been told I've got magic fingers too.

21. My ultimate pleasure is getting fucked in the ass. I'd be happy with my girl pegging me, but we've struggled to find the right harness/toy that accommodates us both. I get really hot when she plays a dominating person, usually an older guy and there's an element of non-consent. I love the idea of being fucked until I can't walk. I used to be very uncomfortable with this fantasy for obvious reasons. I also had a lot of pain having anything in my boypussy, but since being on testosterone, it doesn't hurt and occasionally I’ll enjoy the feeling there.

22. If I’m topping, I want to know what the other person wants and will listen to what gets them hot and watch their body, doing everything possible to make sure they're loving it. I love making someone else come more than getting myself off. Love it.

23. I used to be feel like a hypocrite being transgender. I told people "be yourself" and "a man with nothing to hide has nothing to fear," yet I was striving to change myself. I felt frustrated because chasing external things to fix things on the inside never works. I've realized gender is different from that. Gender is important to each individual and it's their identity to own and discover, and it's no one else’s business to dictate.

24. I don't identify as trans publicly, but a huge part of me really wants to (make documentaries about gender/sexuality etc) because I think the world is changing, and despite the huge fear of ignorant bigots, I want to share who I really am to hopefully help others feel welcome and understood in society.

25. Sex has been wonderful and scary in my life. Finding this blog has helped my self-esteem a lot. Thanks to the sharers--you’ve shown me I’m pretty normal.

2012-01-11T22:47:00.000-08:00

1) I'm a bisexual young woman and have been out of the closet since 2008. That is also the year that I lost my virginity to the guy who later became my fuckbuddy (and still is).

2) Up until last New Year's I'd had sex with nine different people. I then made a resolution to double that number this year, though it's now the last day of 2011 and i have four more to go. Looks like I'm having an orgy tonight, eh?

3) I am bi, but I've only had sex with one girl. She was my best friend at the time, and we were really drunk. Later, when I came out, she was freaked since she's actually straight and we haven't been friends since. Not that I care, though, not any more at least. I've learned that the friends that stay with me after learning about me fancying girls as well are the friends truly worth having.

4) I've only had one serious relationship in the last three years and I didn't even have sex with him. I'm kinda glad I didn't; our "love" was the biggest joke ever. I still have no idea how we even got together.

5) I don't believe in love being important when it comes to sex, but I would never sleep with someone I don't trust. Which is the advice I give to my still-virgin friends.

6) I love being dominated, but only in bed. Otherwise I'm the one in charge.

7) I like it rough. I love knowing that he (or she) could hurt me really badly, but he (or she) know where I draw the line, and doesn't cross it. It's a trust thing.

8) My fuckbuddy, K, and I recently got back together after him having a girlfriend (who really didn't like me. Wonder why) for almost a year. We celebrated our reunion with having sex for a whole weekend, along with trying anal for the first time. I really liked it and it didn't hurt at all, which surprised me, but I'm still feeling a bit uncomfortable about it so we haven't done it since. Just a bit of fingering during oral, which was amazing.

9) A couple of nights ago I had this incredible sex dream where K was taking me up the ass while someone unknown lay underneath me licking me at the same time. I felt so good I can't even begin to describe it and I was miserable when I had to wake up from it. I told K about it and he promised me that we'll play it out in real life, as soon as I decide who I want number three to be. I'm really losing sleep over this one. Do I want a girl or a boy? A girl would be more fun for both of us, but I kinda have a feeling that the third person in my dream was a guy. Besides, it's a secret fantasy of mine to be pleased by two guys at the same time. Yet I would love having more sexual experiences with women.

10) I adore gay guys. I really do. I watch guy-on-guy porn, and read guy-on-guy erotic short stories. I also love fan-fiction, especially the pairing of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. I think I'm addicted. It's not just the sex thing, though. It's the fact that these men love each other enough and are confident enough not to care about our screwed-up society's prejudices. It's awesome! And cute. And hot.

11) For a short period of time I wanted to be a boy, just so I could have sex with other boys. And make out in public.

12) Oh yeah, my fuckbuddy is also my best friend. When we don't have sex for hours and hours we walk around town for hours and hours and discuss politics. We both have very strong opinions and basically feel the same about most things, but there are enough areas of disagreement for us to piss each other off from time to time. I think it's our chemistry--we have to either have sex or fight.

13) I always use a condom. I haven't even bothered to get another kind of birth control because I know it would give me an excuse to skip the rubber and I really don't want any STDs.

14) I masturbate an average of three times a day, mostly with the fingers of my right hand on my clit and the fingers of my left hand in my ass. This started around the same time as i discovered gay porn.

15) I send and receive dirty pictures more often than I want to admit.

16) I love talking about sex, but the only friends I have around on a regular basis are either virgins or just embarrassed. The only girlfriends I can talk to about the sexy stuff are my beloved cousin who lives two hours away and a friend from school who moved to a city five hours away after graduation. She was in town yesterday, though, so we met at our favorite pub and drank beer and talked loudly about nothing but sex for three hours.

17) I'm not really into older people, but sometimes I come across a really hot man and all I can think is "Oh, I'd like to wrap my legs around that."

18) I love the taste of nipples, it tastes like no other place on the body. Incredible!

19) My fantasy woman is tall, slender, pale, freckled and has long red hair. My fantasy man is tall, kinda slender but with muscles and broad shoulders, tanned, dark-haired, and has a scratchy beard to tickle my neck with.

20) I love being taken from behind with my face in the mattress and his hands pressing down on my lower back until it feels like he is going to snap my spine in half.

21) I've had outdoor sex a lot of times, and every-fucking-time I've ended up with ant bites all over.

22) I often get amused during foreplay and sex, but I try not to laugh openly since I feel it might be offensive. Sometimes they have it coming, though. Like that time K kissed me on the tip of my nose. Guess you could say I'm not the romantic type.

23) My biggest fear in life is getting raped. Just the thought of having someone inside me that I don't want there has me fighting back tears. Every time I read about someone getting raped I can't help but cross my legs and tense every muscle in my lower body. The fact that there's people out there who could actually do that to someone has me equally bemused and infuriated.

24) I think the female body is incredibly beautiful in all its shapes and forms, and that it's only topped by the male body.

25) I have this secret fantasy of becoming a stripper, but I know I would never have the guts to act on it.

2012-01-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

1) I am 18 years old, male, and bisexual.

2) I didn't always know I was bisexual. I didn't get out of denial until a little over a year ago, while I was in my first serious relationship of two years. We ended up splitting soon after. We had already become two different people on different paths. And there was so much I wanted to try that i couldn't have done while being in a relationship. Luckily, we are still best of friends and love each other very much.

3) I would totally have sex with or fall in love with any kind of human, actually. Transgender, transvestite, etc. I love androgyny so much. I love men that look like women especially. Also, women who have beautiful faces and that skinny "boy" body get me hot. And then so does the hourglass woman.

4) I lost my virginity to someone I loved in the woods when I was 16 in the earlier mentioned two-year relationship. We only had vaginal sex once. She wasn't ready... But we had a lot of oral sex. Well, me giving her oral pleasure mostly.

5) Unfortunately, I've had some bad sexual experiences with guys since I "came out." A three-way with a guy I liked and a 40-year-old. And then recently my best friend, who I'm really not attracted to, but I was shit-faced drunk.

6) I'm not very dominant, but i will be when I have to. Which has been more often than I would like.

7) 69'ing is one of my favorite positions.

8) However, I love eating out women. Something about the taste makes me crazy.

9) So far, I am way more into girls than into guys. We will see.

10) Biting, scratching, a little bondage, and most anything kinky gets me hot. I really want to have a woman fuck me with a strap-on. Or a guy just do his thing.

11) I haven't had really good sex yet. Sometimes I have a hard time coming. Probably because I masturbate too much. I'll fix it.

12) I hate the taste of condoms.

13) I love having sex outside. Stoned and outside fucking has something freeing about it.

14) I love having my hair pulled so much.

15) I wish I was a woman.

16) I had sex with this crazy stoner girl who said she came 8 times. I don't know whether or not to believe her. She was a nymphomaniac.

17) I have had sex without a condom, and it's really stupid, and pregnancy scares are awful.

18) I got chlamydia from the crazy stoner nympho girl. I don't regret it. I'm getting rid of it soon. Just need to get those test results back. But still, always check your partner's sexual background before you fuck.

19) I'd most always rather "be fucked" than "fuck someone." I just want to be handled rough.

20) Armpit hair on both genders really turns me on. Same with women with a bush, and hairy legs. Or not. I'm versatile.

21) I really want to have a three-way with a woman and a man. I'd penetrate and be penetrated. Best of both fucking worlds.

22) The best orgasm I've ever had was being orally pleasured and fingered. So intense.

23) I mostly masturbate to people I know, or have fucked in the past. I've masturbated since I was 12.

24) I love friends with benefits. It's so sexy being able to flirt, fuck, and talk about anything. Even about who else they just fucked. It's free and beautiful.

25) I want my nipples bitten and my chest caressed when I'm fucking.

2012-01-08T22:24:00.000-08:00

1. I am a 20-year-old single bisexual femme female. I am graduating college in the spring.

2. I have only achieved orgasm manually twice. The first time was when I was 16, and the second when I was 19. Both were in front of whichever man I was dating at the time. Both found it intensely arousing and fascinating. I felt that the orgasm was underwhelming. Any other time has been either too soft, or more often, too rough. I haven't played enough with myself in that way to really guide a guy if he really wanted to try. I know I should explore that more, but I like any other orgasm more, so we'll see.

3. My go-to vibrator has been the same since I was 14. My mom bought me a lipstick vibe when I was 14 because she thought that if I could experience and control my own orgasms, I wouldn't actively seek out sex from guys. This worked for a while. When that one either broke or got lost, I happened to stumble upon the same exact one at a novelty store and bought it. Though I have a fairly extensive collection of toys, that has been the number one. I recently bought myself a new one with both internal and clitoral stimulation, but it is also small, and I'm hoping to get used to a completely new sensation.

4. While it can be incredibly difficult for me to reach orgasm, when I do, I'm a multiple-orgasm type of gal. In the best romp I've had at least 6-7. If I'm on my own and have the time I can go for up to 20. However, I notice that in most partner situations, even if they are eager to get me off more than once, I tend to stop them after one. I'm not sure why.

5. I have this vague memory of me at 13 in the back of a van with my best friend's older brother. He is on top of me, kissing me, and he feels heavy. His hand is up my shirt, and in my pants rubbing against me roughly. He is 16 and I don't like it at all, but I think that this must be normal since he is older than me. I remember being just frozen there, wondering if this was how I was going to lose my virginity, until one of his friends bangs on the van door and then we are done. I have never told anyone this story.

6. My boyfriend in high school hated oral sex, giving or receiving, so I never got a chance to try either until much later. I gave him a lot of hand jobs outside my house in the front seat of his Mom's Subaru. The most he did with me was stick his hand in my pants. We were together two years and I faked every orgasm. To this day he doesn't know.

7. I lost my virginity the year after graduating high school to a guy who I knew by reputation from high school for having a clean record but having just enough experience. I was expecting it to hurt, but it was great. I don't think I came, but I had a blast. He was the first person who let me go down on him and who went down on me. I was surprised at how much I liked giving and receiving oral sex. He also was into a bit of BDSM, which I was just beginning to realize I enjoyed.

8. I don't remember how exactly I realized I greatly enjoyed BDSM, but I remember a good friend and I got a lot of books and swapped them. We absorbed everything we could about the culture. The guy in 6 bought me my first corset in leather and I still have it to this day, and it makes me feel sexier than anything else. I love anything sensory-deprivation, being completely tied down, blindfolded and/or gagged unless I am doing something to please someone. I am a control freak in real life, so there's something so amazingly freeing about giving yourself over entirely to someone.

9. At the same time, I'm also a fighter. I will attempt, at least once, to get out of any restraints put on me. I love seeing people's frustration with my Houdini acts. I love trying to be a tease until a partner has no choice to get aggressive with what they want.

9. I love rough sex. Like "pin you on the wall, toss you around, grab your hair and call you names" type of rough. I love the feeling of being completely used and abused for someone's absolute pleasure. Any time I've been in situations where this is not the case, I get bored.

10. I love it when guys come on me: my back, my chest, or my face. It goes along with the dominance play, but I also love the feeling afterwards when they clean you up. I once had a guy get a warm wet towel and wipe me down with it afterwards, and it was one of our most intimate, loving moments in our relationship.

11. I've been fortunate with several great group-sex experiences. The first was with a man who I grew to love more than anything along with a lovely woman who was a mutual friend. There was another threesome going on in the same bed as well, which added to the effect. I remember being so on top of the world after that experience that I managed to leave having forgotten my underwear. The second was a a year later in a hotel room at a fetish convention with a man who I was currently in a play relationship with, and a beautiful woman I had just been introduced to. There were a lot of people watching that one, and at one point several people came in to help keep me pinned down since I kept wriggling out of restraints while the one woman was going down on me, and a man was kissing me deeply. I was blindfolded, so I don't know how many people ended up holding me down and touching me, but it was an amazing feeling of being incredibly loved and utterly powerless.

12. The best sex I have ever had was on Thanksgiving after a big dinner party. I was drawn up a bath while he made cinnamon rolls, and something about us, and the smell of cinnamon, and me having just gotten out of a bath… It was the most sensual, intimate experience of my life. It was over several hours, and he came twice before ejaculating. I lost count of how many times I came.

13. Up until about two years ago, I was silent as the grave in bed. I don't know if it was because I was so used to being in my parent's house, or that I didn't know what I was missing, but something snapped in me after someone whispered to me "you know, you can be as loud as you want," and that was it. Ever since then, I couldn't be quiet if I tried. I try to stop myself from screaming sometimes by biting my arm, but the last time I did that I accidentally drew blood.

14. I used to be pretty well known in our local BDSM community for my pain tolerance. This was flattering at first, and gained me a lot of attention, but also landed me in some uncomfortable situations. I trusted a good friend and Dom to lead me through that community, and he ended up putting me in a position where I ended up the unwilling participant of knife play. The scars on my back from that have finally gone away after a few years. I pretty much stayed away from major BDSM events from that point forward.

15. As I've moved to a different city, I've been yearning for a welcoming, tolerant community. Based on previous experiences, I'm hesitant to just go into a party or event without having existing personal relationships with at least some of the people. I think I'm much more interested in being around a group of people that I know are in a similar mindset, rather than so much the play aspect of it.

16. I adore the term play as it relates to sex. Ultimately, that's what I believe sex to be: playful, light, carefree. Even in my deepest, darkest, fantasies, I'm a huge believer that you have to laugh at least once before, during, or after. I want to play and explore partners, and I think that it the sexiest thing anyone can do to me.

17. I am beginning to realize that even more than the pain what I love more than anything is the mindfuck. The ability to relinquish all control to another person who tells you exactly what to do and when is an extremely liberating feeling. One of my next challenges to myself is to write my first sexually explicit narrative regarding that feeling and try to get it published on a sex-ed/kink blog.

18. It should be noted that I have been told I am an amazing writer of erotica/exotica. I started writing fan fiction smut as a teenager, before I had ever had sex and got lots of compliments on it. As I grew older, my writings took on a much more detailed nature, and I have been commissioned to write short erotica stories. When I go back and read the ones I wrote a few years back, I'm still struck with the kind of intense arousal and emotions that I was wanting to elicit in readers. I'm sad that I don't write as much of them anymore.

19. I came out as bisexual my freshman year in college. I had played around with girls before then, mostly some making out, some under-shirt grabbing... but I wasn't really sure what my reaction would be with another woman. All I knew was that I found them soft, sensual, and alluring, giving me a very different sense than when I was with men. I've hooked up with two girls, and made out with a lot of others. There's only one whom I really wished I could have had sex with, but she moved away. Most of the women I've liked I either crush on emotionally because of their intelligence, or physically, but rarely both.

20. I lived in a house full of men for a year in college, and it was the most freeing experience of my life. While we didn't do anything sexually, being around a much less stifling mentality regarding sex, sexuality and relationships really opened my eyes and boosted my self confidence. Before that, living with girls, all I got was weird looks and whispered calls of "slut."

21. I don't consider myself a slut. I've slept with 8 people. That doesn't make me feel bad, though a lot of girls when I was in college liked to make me feel like I was doing something wrong. I remember all of their names, and I'd been with most of them for a longish time.

22. I'm debating whether the last guy I was with counts towards that number. It was rebound sex on my part and he was tiny. Like, I didn't feel a darn thing tiny. Does it count if you can't even feel it's there?

23. That was my attempt at trying to get over the worst breakup of my life, from the one who got away. Same from 12. Was a part of 11. I'm still not over it, and I doubt I will be. He is the first and only to make me see the difference between having sex and making love. The latter is magical, however clichéd. Though yes, it did still involve me getting tossed around a bunch.

24. I've been monogamous and polyamorous. I don't seem to have a preference for either. All I have been able to assertion is that polyamory and long distance relationships do not work well together. At all. I somehow have split up my life based on what I want, which is a long term polyamorous relationship that involves sharing in family responsibilities with another polyamorous couple, and what I need, which is to have a very simple relationship with one person and regain my trust in loving people. I wish those two things didn't have to be mutually exclusive.

25. Writing this series has taken me over a month, and has been one of the most terrifying things I've done in a long time. I hope that it will have resonance with readers, as I know so many of the stories on here have done for me. I'm also hoping writing this series will help me on a path towards more sexual acceptance of myself.

2012-01-07T22:18:00.000-08:00

1. I am a 33-year-old, married, mostly straight Canadian man.

2. I say "mostly" because when I was 26 I went over to a guy's house that I saw on cam and tried giving him oral. I didn't enjoy it like I expected, and definitely didn't enjoy how he rubbed my cock.

3. Nonetheless, I will watch gay porn on occaision, and always find hung guys sexy.

4. I think part of that has to do with my size. I'm just over 4 inches hard, and thin. So my fantasies for a long time have revolved around giving the women in my life the size they "deserve."

5. I think my size fetish came from 3 experiences at a younger age: 1) accidentally flashing my friends (including girls) at a party in middle school 2) the woman who took my virginity in Grade 10 had a black friend she crushed on before being with me that she'd talk about to make me jealous 3) I soon thereafter started my lifelong fascination with interracial porn.

6. As I said, I lost my virginity at 16 to a neighbor I was dating. We were having trouble and she said we shouldn't break up because she wanted to have sex. So we didn't, and spent the next few weeks sneaking out and having sex.

7. I wasn't attracted to her all that much but I wanted to experience sex and so did she. She's the only woman who let me try anal; the only woman I've played with in public; only woman I've been with who's seemed to enjoy oral; the only woman who felt "loose" around my penis; and holds my personal record for most sex in one day (I came 10 times).

8. I left her for my first love a few months later - a woman I'd eventually never sleep with, but who could soak a bed with her wetness when I fingered her.

9. I've only had sex with three different women. I regret that somewhat, as I feel I've missed out on some fun and personal learning.

10. I've had two woman "put on the brakes" when they saw I was smaller. Both times were in university when I was single.

11. I had a long-term girlfriend in years 2 to 4 of college. You could hear her neighbor next door in the dorm having sex with a bouncer friend. It turned me on, so much so that I got into searching for erotic sex sounds online. So much so that I'd sit in my bedroom closet and listen to my own roommate have sex with different women.

12. I did a few times go in after they had left the apartment and smelled the sheets/bedding of where they just had sex.

13. The noises women make during sex remains a turn-on.

14. The three women I've had sex with have all enjoyed it. I'm a giver (I love oral sex) and I can last a long time. I've never struggled giving women orgasms.

15. My wife and I have been together 7 years and she still turns me on.

16. However, she hates oral sex.

17. And never initiates sex - sex and fun are not a priority for her, as she's a hard-working professional.

18. Thus I have a healthy fantasy life online, watching cams (men and women), porn and cyber-sexing.

19. I'd barely do any of #18 if my wife wanted as much sex as I do.

20. I fantasize about other men - hung, muscular, dominant older or younger men - pleasing her instead.

21. I know she has a thing for black men, although she's too conservative to pursue it.

22. One of the hottest things she ever told me was how, at a Vegas work convention, she and her colleagues went dancing, and this black guy was grinding on her.

23. Early on in our dating life, I found artsy naked photos of a colleague of hers that she'd taken. She had a falling out with the friend over it, as he'd crossed a boundary. Still, I found it hot that another man had tried to seduce my woman, and that she'd taken a picture of his perfectly average penis.

24. I wish my wife and I communicated better about sex. It's a work in progress and I know we'll sort it out because we're very much in love and devoted to one another. I want to see her happy and vice versa.

25. I probably "edge" too much, turning reasonable 20 minute masturbation sessions into 1, 2, 3, 4.... 8-hour marathons. In fact, I've been late to work because I was jerking off.

2012-01-05T22:12:00.001-08:00

1. I'm female and totally happy with being so. I don't want to be male, I like having boobs and a vag. While I've had the occasional penis dream, it's more of a curious oddity for me than anything I want. I do wonder what it feels like to have one, but I don't want to get one ever.

2. I'm bisexual, though I tend to lean more toward men.

3. I'm technically bisexual but due to fairly recent traumatic experiences with women in relationships, I feel no drive to be with one and greatly distrust females, particularly dominant ones. I'm still interested in women in the fantasy realm, but in the real world it's not something I'm ready for at the moment.

4. I'm tokophobic, meaning that I'm afraid of pregnancy and childbirth, to the point where I would be a suicide risk if I ever became pregnant. I don't trust my birth control and had a total mental breakdown when I thought I might be pregnant.

5. Literature is way sexier than pictures most of the time, and both of those are far, far better than movies. However, I sometimes find that if a story is too well written, I can't masturbate to it - the writing sucks me in so I'm enraptured by the story.

6. I have a very hard time reaching orgasm, especially if someone else is playing with me. I require a very specific mental image and stimulation to get there and pure stimulation will rarely, if ever, get me off. Multiple orgasms don't exist in my world.

7. About half the time, I cry when I orgasm if someone else caused it. I never cry if I bring myself to it. It's a really deep crying too, seriously sobbing.

8. My first real ventures into the BDSM realm were through Gor, and I still hold onto a good part of that heritage. While I'm not purely Gorean I do have a deep connection with it. I can talk the talk and walk the walk, and still enjoy hanging out with other Goreans.

9. I don't like having my nipples played with. They're oversensitive, and even a bit of play throws me into a weird funk which is hard to get out of.

10. I've had sex (defined as vaginal, anal or oral intercourse) with four people - three male, one female. The first time I had sex was about two weeks after I turned 18, and it was with a guy I met at my then-domme's wedding.

11. I'm a very tactile person - I love hugging, cuddling or rubbing up against people, especially to tease them.

12. I identify as a slave in the BDSM realm and have had the feelings that I now know are submissive desires since I was very young. I have had a Master and still have something of one. He makes me feel like nothing else has ever come close to making me feel, and I love being around him.

13. I'm definitely an exhibitionist. While I blush and act embarrassed, knowing that people are watching me play or do whatever gives me an incredible rush. I love public play parties, as I'm also something of a voyeur as well, and they present the perfect give and take of watching and being watched.

14. While I do brat a bit, I'm not a dominant or a top by any stretch of the imagination. I mostly like to kick doms I know consent around to get a reaction by pretending to top them. The sheer pleasure of teasing them gives me a high like you wouldn't imagine.

15. Consensual nonconsent is my thing. To get off, there has to be some element of nonconsent, even if it's as light as being held down and struggling a bit. Running around, fighting, grappling people and getting my ass beat, as well as occasionally beating theirs, is the real thing that gets me.

16. Pain and I have a complicated relationship. While I do enjoy it to some degree, I'm not a masochist. I don't want to be beaten black and blue and I have to be warmed up to take more than a minimal amount. I prefer floggers, some singletails and bare hand spanking.

17. The idea of a guy just undoing his pants and taking me is totally hot. The lack of care, the power of him being clothed and me not being is incredible to me. It's another facet of the nonconsent element I need in my sex life to get anything out of it.

18. I dislike being given oral. I get yeast and urinary infections like you wouldn't believe, so the idea of having someone's dirty mouth down there makes me cringe. I'd much rather give than receive.

19. Online role-playing is an important part of my sex life. It seems weird, but it allows me both the experience of having a situation that would never happen in the real world and a chance to work on my writing skills. I find writing a sex scene with someone more emotionally satisfying than actual sex many times.

20. The list of nonhuman creatures I've fantasized about is a mile long and mostly aliens or monsters, including plants. One of my favorite fantasies is being fucked by a giant alien insect. I have no clue why I find it hot, but I do. I've had some vivid dreams about being screwed by these types of creatures as well.

21. I'm very much a people-pleaser and it comes out in my sex life. I'd rather be doing things for others most of the time than have anything done to me.

22. I'm not one to just lay around after sex. Most of the time I'm up in a few minutes and ready to do something else, unless cuddling is offered. If cuddling is offered, I'll get up once to pee and then the next few hours are out of the window.

23. I hate being prompted to come up with ideas for play or sex. It puts me on the spot and makes me really uncomfortable because I never like any of my own ideas. I do have desires, but usually when I'm with someone I'm close to, my primary drive is to please them.

24. Dressing up is awesome. If a scene requires costuming, I'm all over it. People who wear elaborate costumes during a scene or sex, or who really get into a character, are incredibly attractive and floor me, especially if they put on an accent for the occasion.

25. I'm polyamorous and believe that loving freely can really solve a lot of the world's relationship problems, and that jealousy isn't exactly natural. Embracing and loving openly is beautiful to me.

2011-12-09T22:06:00.000-08:00

1) I'm 23, straight, female and a mathematics graduate. I met my current boyfriend at university, I was in love with him for a long time before we got together. We've been together for nearly two years and I love him more every day.

2) I was raised in a Christian family and taught that sex before marriage was wrong. When I started my first long-term relationship at 16 with a boy I met at Youth Fellowship, we both agreed that we would wait.

3) However, we ended up pleasuring each other with our hands and mouths plenty, and I felt it was pointless to stop short of penis-in-vagina sex so arbitrarily. I would have been willing to "go all the way," but he wasn't comfortable doing so. That was fine with me, and I was with him for four years.

4) I masturbated for the first time when I was nineteen. It felt good. By the end of our relationship I was an atheist, so no more sexual repression, woo!

5) When I started dating my current boyfriend, he was a virgin, and I hadn't had vaginal sex. I had to teach him to kiss properly, he learned fast. He saw my vulva for the first time and thought it was beautiful.

6) After fooling around in various ways, it wasn't long before we had sex. My thoughts on losing my "real virginity": man, this is really fun!

7) I still don't place penis-in-vagina sex on any pedestal, I love it but I prefer oral sex. I love doing 69.

8) My favorite sex position is: me lying on the bed with my legs up, him standing beside the bed and fucking me. It's good for deep penetration.

9) Sometimes I watch porn--not very often, though. I like watching different kinds of porn, mostly BDSM stuff. I don't care if it's man-on-man, man-on-woman, woman-on-woman, woman-on-man--I just like to see people in pleasure, as long as it's realistic and consensual.

10) I'm quite kinky, and love to be dominated and humiliated. I think this was a part of me before I was even sexually aware. I remember playing cops and robbers at primary school and wanting a cop to find me and lead me away with my hands behind my back.

11) In high school I was very close to my best friend. She was strange and would tease me and sometimes physically hurt me. I liked it, I longed for more. I didn't really know why.

12) I've never really had feelings for another girl, though. It's not impossible, who knows who I might meet in the future.

13) I've kissed a couple of girls, though, when younger and drunk and playing games.

14) I like reading erotic stories about domination, spanking, punishment, degradation. That really turns me on. I don't like when stories get rapey, and I'm not a big fan of stories about 24/7 master-slave relationships, not hot to me at all. Nor is fan-fiction, ugh.

15) I got my first vibrator last year, but it was quite cheap and temperamental, which proved very frustrating. I have a glass vibrator now and I love it! But since I got a flatmate I haven't been able to use it much. I wish he'd leave the flat more often!

16) Sometimes when I masturbate I pretend I have a cock and am going to come all over everything. Sometimes I imagine I'm in a glass box on display, an exhibition of depravity and shame.

17) I don't remove my body hair. I don't like shaving or waxing, I don't mind having hair, and my boyfriend doesn't mind either. My body is my own and I refuse to be ashamed of it.

18) Although I love to be dominated in bed, sometimes we like to switch it around. I love to make my partner submit to me. We both love spanking and biting and scratching and dirty talk! I'd like to be tied up more; I have restraints. He's not as into that.

19) I've never had anal sex. I'm not ruling it out forever, but I just don't want it, I don't think I'd enjoy it. Luckily my boyfriend is happy with that, though he'd like to try pegging sometime (me fucking his ass with a dildo), which I'd be up for giving a go.

20) I have the contraceptive implant in my arm, which is very effective and hassle-free birth control, but it makes my periods very irregular. It's annoying but I use a Mooncup (which I HIGHLY recommend, I never have to buy tampons again!) and we're fine with having sex during my period as long as it's not too heavy.

21) Last Christmas I dressed up in a sexy festive elf costume for him. He loved it--we had sexy elf roleplay and great sex.

22) Earlier this year, I took magic mushrooms, which was fucking great. I 69ed with him that night, and I looked at his ass while performing fellatio. Lo and behold, his bum hair revealed to me a tiny man, climbing through the bum-crack jungle. I knew it was just hair, but I couldn't unsee the little fellow. It was the funniest thing ever, but I couldn't laugh as I had a mouthful of cock. I was also enjoying his tongue but I was just so distracted by the butt guy. Sex is so funny on mushrooms.

23) Another thing about the night on mushrooms: I realized that so much of what I find hot is so dependent on culture and taboo. I felt so immune to that, I didn't even get sarcasm. I felt so pure and connected to everything. I saw the pretense all around me. I had no bad feelings about anything. I just wanted to say "This is really fun. I like the way my pants feel. I like touching you." But I didn't know if he would really understand how much I meant it (he did not partake of fungi). So sex was very different.

24) During the summer we went to my boyfriend's brother's wedding. It was fun, but I took more pictures of us half-naked in the hotel bedroom than I did of the day. He was wearing a kilt--of course I was horny.

25) My boyfriend also has long hair, which I love. I love men with long hair! I'm also a fan of androgyny, beautiful people you can't really tell what gender they are. Having said that, I also like bearded hairy men. I love my boyfriend's beard--I love the way it feels when he goes down on me.

2011-12-07T22:01:00.000-08:00

1. I am a 22-year-old heterosexual female.

2. I remember discovering masturbation when I was around 10 years old. I did it off and on for a while, but pretty much stopped completely during high school. However, for the past few years I have done it at least four times a week, sometimes when I'm bored.

3. My first kiss was with my first boyfriend in freshman year of high school. I dated him merely because he liked me, but he ended up growing on me. We dated for a year and a half, but never had sex. I did, however, give him many blowjobs. I never let him go down on me--I was super uncomfortable with myself and was somehow grossed out by the idea.

4. Not long after, I dated my first true love. We dated for two and a half years, but never had sex! Sounds crazy. Maybe I was crazy.

5. Broke up with said first true love for T. He was older, taller, and confident. He took my virginity when I was 19, in the front seat of his Pontiac. He had a really lovely thick and huge dick. I didn't bleed and it only hurt a little. We worked together, and one time while we were the only people running the store, we went into the office and fucked on the manager's desk. We fucked right in front of this huge one way mirror. I watched customers walking around, looking at their reflections while he pounded into me. He turned out to be the only (so far) asshole I have ever dated. Took three months of 2 a.m. booty calls to realize he didn't really care about me.

6. Tried going back to my first true love. We tried to have sex in the shower but he couldn't get it up. Just wasn't right I guess. We are still friends somehow, but I think he is still bitter I never had sex with him. He doesn't know it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my insecurities.

7. I started dating a lovely Central American guy, R, with beautiful dark skin and hair. At 20, I was his first real relationship, first kiss, and eventually first sexual partner. I remember lying in bed with him, telling him to relax as I kissed him. Eventually he did and was an amazing kisser with his sexy, full lips. Up to that point, I had never had an orgasm during sex. When I did with him, it was amazing. We had sex almost every day for the first six months of our relationship. Eventually the passion died down a bit, but we were still very much attracted to each other, and very much in love. I learned to relax and let him go down on me. Oh my, what I had been missing out on. He had never done it before, but just the feeling of his tongue was enough to send shivers throughout my entire body.

8. Things started fading, and I grew restless. I was used to very long sex and tons of position changes with T. R wasn't lasting very long in bed, and I was becoming unsatisfied. I just recently broke things off with him.

9. I haven't had sex in 18 days and counting. I am constantly horny and checking other guys out. I enjoy giving random guys flirty smiles wherever I go. I am always imagining how these strangers are in bed.

10. Recently at a party, a guy I have known for a few years tried to kiss me and confessed his feelings for me. I have always had a thing for him, but I was dating R at time, and I couldn't bring myself to cheat on him. He was my ride home that night, and in the car, he turned to me and asked me to kiss him again. Just once. We sat there staring at each other for a good 20 seconds. I could feel this palpable attraction. I almost did it.

11. At night I run my hands up and down my body, imagining his face, his body, his hands. He hasn't talked to me since that night. He blamed the alcohol but I know it was more than that. We've had conversations about the size of his dick before. Apparently it's big. I am dying to find out.

12. I have a thing for Asian guys. I have a thing for tall lanky guys with big hands. I have a thing for dark hair and dark eyes. Don't really care for blond guys, but T. was blond. So I guess you never know.

13. Am I attracted to girls? Hmm. I have a certain female friend who is always flirting with me. I don't mind the attention, and girls are beautiful. Their bodies are beautiful. But I don't really have the urge to kiss a girl. Wouldn't mind playing with a girl's breasts though. Hard to explain.

14. I am dying for a new sexual experience. I have been having sexual dreams every night this past week. Mostly with my friend who tried to kiss me. I cannot get him out of my head.

15. I am really horny right now.

16. You want numbers? I have only had sex with 2 guys. Kissed 6.

17. I am always trying to perfect my blowjob technique. I love giving blowjobs. I love teasing a guy until he can't take it anymore and then finally going down on him. I love running my tongue up his dick and the taste of pre-cum.

18. I love being on top during sex. For some reason, I am unable to come in any other position. Still working on that. I like it with the lights off, on, outside, inside, on a bed, on the floor. Whatever.

19. I'm not a big fan of sex in cars, maybe because I lost my virginity to someone I didn't care about in one. Also not a big fan of porn. I like to create my own fantasies in my head. It usually leads to sexual dreams.

20. I don't think I will ever participate in anal sex. It really doesn't turn me on at all. Who knows what the future holds, though, I guess.

21. I love being dominated--nothing crazy, just being thrown on to the bed, knowing the man is stronger than me and the trust that comes with that.

22. I love kissing. That's the fastest way to get me wet. I love lightly kissing my guy and then pulling away, hovering close until we can't take it and start kissing deeply and passionately.

22. Seriously, buildup is the best. I will kiss your neck, your chest. Oh God don't get me started on how much I love a man's chest. I love running my hands across his chest, kissing his nipples, down his stomach, down the happy trail and then STOP. Save the best for last. Slowly pull down the waistband of his boxer briefs (my favorite kind of male underwear by the way) and creep my way down.

23. I have given a blowjob while a guy is driving. It's not the best, obviously.

24. I love my body and all its imperfections. I have made peace with my modest breasts. I love my hips and my butt and my legs. I dance naked in front of a mirror almost daily. Great confidence booster.

25. I have so much to learn about my sexuality. I look forward to the many sexual experiences in my future. I can't wait for my next conquest!

2011-12-05T21:47:00.000-08:00

1. I am a 21-year-old, mostly straight female.

2. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 in a threesome with my best friend and her boyfriend.

3. I was raped almost daily for six years from the age of 5 to 11.

4. I started masturbating to pornography multiple times a day when I was 10 years old. This is still the case.

5. When I say mostly straight, I mean that I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with another woman, but I love having sex with women, and I appreciate how sexy and beautiful we are.

6. Since I lost my virginity at the age of 15, I have had upwards of 17 sexual partners, both male and female.

7. Rough, wild, passionate, take-me-now kind of sex is to die for. I've never been a fan of slow and sensual lovemaking. I don't know why this is. The mere idea of it is a turn-off.

8. Every person I see on the street or in passing, I imagine having sex. Not necessarily with me, but with their faceless (to me) lover. It helps me see everyone has a vulnerable, raw, and needy human being.

9. Out of all of my many sexual partners, I have only had sex with two of them more than once.

10. I think about sex all the time. All day. Every day. If everyone else wanted to, I would want to talk about nothing else. I love to learn about other people and what they like, what they want, how often. Knowing that everyone's sexuality is so varied is so intriguing to me.

11. I like to be sexually submissive. But if the person I'm having sex with isn't dominant enough, I will take over. I like to be thrown around, have my hair pulled, and my neck grabbed with reckless abandon.

12. I'm not affectionate at all. In contrast with my constant need for sex, some find this off-putting. I want to hit it and quit it, I don't want romance, I don't want snuggling. If it is not in a sexual context, I don't like to be touched. If my partner comes up to me while I'm doing dishes, for example, and touches my back, I will literally cringe and move away from them.

13. Public sex is one of my biggest turn-ons, but it scares me half to death.

14. Sometimes, after intercourse, I feel anger towards my sexual partner. I always suppress these feelings.

15. I suffer from what I affectionately refer to as "penis nightmares." Dreams in which I am having sex with someone (usually someone I'm very attracted to in my life) when their penis turns into something scary and more often than not ends up killing me. As an example, having sex with an attractive friend when his penis turns into a giant python that penetrates me and kills me. I feel like these should impact my sex life, but they don't.

16. During my teen years I had a hard time saying no, so I often ended up having one night stands that I wasn't necessarily into having. Now, however, I'm glad that I went through this period. I believe that it helped me take control of who I am sexually. I also appreciate the experience.

17. I've never owned a vibrator. I want one. But I feel like I can do the job just as well or better.

18. I absolutely love my body. I feel like the sexiest little thing on earth and I would rather be naked than clothed any time of day.

19. I crave sexual attention, which causes problems when I'm in relationships. I love locking eyes with a sexy stranger and feeling that mutual understanding that we would fuck like wild animals were we not surrounded by all these people on the bus, for example.

20. I love anal sex, but the ONLY thing I will put up my ass is a penis. This includes no fingers or tongues. I would not be able to look someone in the eye if I had let me lick my ass.

21. I fantasize about being double penetrated all the time, but am scared to try it. I feel like I couldn't handle it.

22. I can have a (minor) orgasm by merely thinking about being eaten out. I do this in my university classes every single day.

23. I believe that penises are gorgeous.

24. I have a rape fantasy that I am ashamed of because of my past. I will never act on it, or tell anyone about it.

25. Life is short and silly, and if it isn't full of orgasms, it isn't worth it.

2011-12-03T21:39:00.000-08:00

1. I'm a 53-year-old straight male, married 31 years.

2. I have no memory of this, but I have a feeling that my older brother molested me as a young child. We shared a bed until he was a teenager. He has always evoked a overwhelming emotional reaction in me. I don't have those feelings with any other siblings.

3. My penis is extremely small when flaccid although only slightly below average when erect. I received an injury to my testicular sack at the age of four. The injury is unrelated to the size of my penis, but together with #2, the result has been severe sexual insecurities.

4. The earliest sexual experiences I remember consist mainly of masturbating while looking at the underwear ads in a Sears catalog. This was as close as I got to pornography until I went to college and saw my first Playboy magazine.

5. I have looked at some form of pornography almost every day since college. I enjoy written stories more than pictures.

6. I believe those early catalog pictures planted the seeds of what grew into a lifelong lingerie fetish.

7. My favorite look is a woman in '50s style underwear, as long as she's wearing stockings.

8. I have always been attracted to what some call trashy women. My wife used to dress a little slutty and I really liked that.

9. I have never really had the desire to cross-dress, and lingerie by itself is not enticing. As an experiment, I tried on some lingerie once, but it did nothing for me. I felt and looked foolish.

10. The size of my penis, reading dirty stories, and the lingerie thing are the defining characteristics of my sexuality.

11. I had sex with three women before I met my wife. Two were basically one-night stands, and I had a steady girlfriend with whom I had oral sex several times.

12. I got married when I was 20, and have never had sex with anyone but my wife in 35 years.

13. I was only seriously tempted to cheat twice. Once, I drunkenly made out with a woman for a couple of minutes at a party. The second was a much more serious emotional affair that lasted several months. We never had sex, but we did make out fully clothed several times.

14. Insecurity about the size of my penis and the desire to remain faithful prevented me from having sex with the woman. I often wonder if God gave me a small penis in an attempt to keep me faithful.

15. My desires are much more kinky than those of my wife. This has been the major sexual frustration of my life and played a part in #13.

16. My wife and I had a pretty regular and enjoyable sex life for our first twenty years.

17. The only kink in which she indulged was lingerie. She got dressed up for sex about once a week, and I was never tempted by other women when she routinely wore sexy lingerie.

18. I've never had group sex, anal sex, BDSM, D/s or any other non-vanilla sex.

19. The term making love accurately describes our married sex life.

20. When my wife began menopause she lost almost all desire, sex became painful and we've only had intercourse once in the last few years.

21. I love her now more than ever, in spite of ever-growing sexual frustration.

22. She does give me a blowjob or a handjob every few weeks if I complain enough and become so horny I can't sleep. She does not seem to enjoy it and I feel like it is just another chore for her.

23. Because she no longer enjoys it, neither do I. We are trapped.

24. I would never force anyone to do anything, but I have strong domination fantasies. I wish my wife wanted to play the part of a submissive slut who needed a good spanking.

25. I live a life of torn emotions. I love my wife deeply but regret missing out on so very many sexual experiences.

2011-12-01T21:32:00.000-08:00

1. I'm a 46-year-old male, more gay than straight, and in a stable relationship with a man for 15 years now.

2. But: I'm less gay than I thought. That is, my heterosexual part has gained influence over the last years. Now, women are no longer something I would only touch with my eyes closed, even if there are still many more men than women I find attractive and erotically tempting.

3. Right now there's a woman in my life who just has to touch her neck with her hand to make me get an erection. There's never been anyone I've sexually desired as strongly as her, and I can imagine doing nearly anything in the wide spectrum of sex with her.

4. I'm glad to be able to live my sexuality free of any sense of guilt. It wasn't always this way. I felt liberation and full acceptance only after my coming-out, when I was already in my mid-twenties.

5. Masturbation is an equally valuable way of living sexuality as doing it with a partner.

6. I like being penetrated by a man (and do it actively, too, even if I prefer the passive role), but I would not like to penetrate a woman anally.

7. If you would want to call it a fetish: I do love tight underwear on men (and on myself).

8. One of the most erotic acts is undressing the underwear, the moment of realizing the total nakedness.

9. Nudity for itself has nothing to do with sex or eroticism, as far as I am concerned - it's a natural situation, and I have freed myself from the inhibition decreed by our society rather early in my life. I like to be naked as soon as temperatures allow it, and I generally swim in the nude.

10. Presenting myself naked in front of others doesn't create any problems for me. It seems like I have kind of an exhibitionistic side.

11. I can't say there are body regions that turn me on especially. It can be the lips, the chest, the voice or the ass, too. But I must admit that I do appreciate a beautiful cock a lot.

12. I feel very open towards various sexual practices, as long as there's neither blood nor shit involved. For some time now I've come to like S/M play in my imagination.

13. I've also had sex with two other people: mmm and mmf. I'm not too interested in mff, but wouldn't refuse if given the opportunity.

14. I'd like to have a slightly bigger cock, especially when flaccid, because i like the bulge in the pants. But overall I'm satisfied with what I have.

15. I really like having somebody cum on me.

16. Both my "first times" came quite as a surprise: With the woman after being in a sauna, with the man without any identifiable cause on the floor at night. Both were very quick, and I was ashamed afterwards.

17. While studying at university, I had nearly no sexual activity going on. But there were exceptions. I remember one week when I had sex with a total of two men and two women.

18. Anonymous sex can be nice, but I'm not very interested in it.

19. I like photographing masturbating men and also love to take their pictures while they're having sex. There are lots of pornographic pictures with myself as a subject, some taken by myself and some by other good photographers.

20. I watch a porno movie once a year, max--they're too artificial for my taste, but okay to jerk off to.

21. I have no problem speaking openly about my sexuality, and I do talk about it with anybody who is not too inhibited.

22. Sex toys are not necessary, but I don't mind their use. But I do like wearing a cock ring regularly, and I prefer the heavier ones made from metal over the leather ones.

23. I seem to have few erogenous zones -- and the nipples are absolutely not part of them.

24. I've had virtual sex (via telephone, chat, cam), but normally I don't enjoy it too much and I find it hard to come this way.

25. There's one topic about sex I'm not speaking about.

2011-11-29T21:24:00.000-08:00

1. I've not had sex (with a partner) for more than 5 years now. Not exactly by choice, but I'm surprised I don't really miss it.

2. I'm a 34-year-old woman, and I'm afraid I'm strictly hetero when it comes to sex, even though I often feel strong emotional and sometimes vaguely erotic attraction for women. I just feel absolutely no interest in interacting with female sexual organs (apart from mine, that is). I like looking at tits, though.

3. I've been in a stable monogamous relationship with a man for about 8 years now. During this time, we both have struggled a lot with more than one crisis, personal ones and some as a couple. While the relationship developed greatly, we "lost" the sexuality somewhere on the way. I feel a bit awkward about this, but I think I would be more than happy with the situation (see later) if I just could have some little stories or just serious flirtations aside.

4. But I really don't want to cheat on my partner. I cheated on everyone I was with before him, and I learned it kills the trust and the love if you have to hide such a big part of your emotional life. He is, unfortunately, strictly monogamous, so I stay with myself when it comes to sex. We'll see for how long. In the meantime, I really enjoy discovering my own ideas and dreams and feelings, without having to fulfill anybody's expectations.

5. At the age of 15, I was very worried about the question "Is sex WITH love possible?" and I still haven't fully found the answer (for me). Well, obviously it is possible, but I'm afraid I don't like it too much. Love (like in "staying with somebody for years, fully trusting and knowing each other, but also discussing who will buy toilet paper this week") feels so very much like the close relationship I have with my parents and sister, and wonderful, but it makes fucking this person sometimes boring, sometimes nearly obscene to me.

6. At the age of 18-28, I was very active, having lots of partners, all male, some of them ONS, some longer relations, sometimes two different men in the same day.

7. I am, honestly, quite overweight and not really good-looking, but the period in #6 taught me that I can be easily attractive nevertheless, even to men that are surrounded and desired by girls much more beautiful than me. This strengthened my self-confidence a lot and I really feel not ashamed of my body at all.

8. Generally I tend to terribly mess up love, attraction, sex and friendship, which brought many misunderstandings and unsatisfactory situations for me and lots of pain and delusion for the involved men. When I meet a fascinating person of any sex or age, I tend to confuse my enthusiasm with erotic interest. If the person isn't a probable partner ("wrong" sex or age, or married or gay or...), I get slightly confused by my feelings, but nothing happens and we can perhaps build a wonderful friendship. But if the person is, say, a single straight male, I hurry us to the next bedroom as soon as possible, and make him "prove" his interest in me. Then I'm satisfied and would like to be "just" friends. It doesn't work this way.

9. I just love love love the situation when a flirtation becomes real, when your hands touch for the first time, the long tension before a first kiss, the hesitating, the hands and eyes that discover the other one's always beautiful body, the many doubts of how far can I go, how far will he go? This turns me on more than anything and is totally lost to me as soon as sex becomes something "normal" with someone.

10. All of my longer relations (apart from the one I'm in now) were spawned from the situations described above, and lasted between one and five years, depending on when I found the courage to tell the men that I had never had intentions to have a relationship, had never loved them and just had always wanted to be friends (perhaps, at best, "with benefits"). In the meantime I impersonated a lovely girlfriend, including swearing eternal love and faking orgasms. I felt it to be my duty, because I created the misunderstanding in the beginning. Idiocy.

11. I had my first sex at the age of 18 with a man twice my age. We were not lovers, just friends, but I had a big crush on him and insisted and seduced him somehow. Looking back he was perhaps not a superhero in bed, but I was very excited by the whole thing, and he was so caring and respecting, and I liked it a lot! We met regularly for some months, to have wonderful intellectual discussions spiced up with some sex, and then I unfortunately got a "real" boyfriend of my age. I wanted to continue the affair, but I couldn't get used to the thought of cheating. (I learned later... ) This first story is still the one that worked best for me, seen from the aspect of sex vs. friendship.

12. While I am happily self-confident about my body, I notice that aging is not very kind to me recently. I haven't worked out before now, and I find being a little bigger while getting older makes a lot of movements difficult, back aches, everything less flexible... I am slightly preoccupied about the idea that, assuming I would find a way to have sex again, I will not be able to perform physically like I used to, and be "out of training" for too long. This is probably silly, but if I start working out sooner or later, it will be mainly for this fear.

13. Apart from getting very aroused by making new friendships, I have a strong interest in rough and non-consensual sex scenarios, from the sub side. I'm not into pain or spanking, more into bondage and/or a little rough treatment, humiliation and the feeling to be "wanted so much that he can't restrain himself from taking me" and being helpless. My first drawings and fragments of writing erotic stories of this kind go back to the age of ten.

14. While I find #13 nothing to be ashamed of, I'm still very conflicted about it. I've grown up with strong feminist ideas and I simply CANNOT allow a man to treat me like this. I had one relationship where the sex worked very well this way, but after a short period I hated and disapproved of the guy so much (because he obviously liked it) that I couldn't go on. I haven't found a solution to this yet. How can you like some asshole who enjoys treating people badly? And how can you keep your self-esteem up if you like being treated like dirt? I'm reading a lot about it, but it doesn't work for me yet. I wonder if I could permit the thought if it were with a woman? Just that this doesn't turn me on at all...

15. I do really enjoy anal sex, if it's done well.

16. And I like fellatio, especially for not-too-big guys... But I don't like receiving oral sex too much, it doesn't do much for me.

17. I nearly forgot to mention that I've never had an orgasm in the presence of somebody. This has never troubled me too much, I've had wonderful sex and enjoyed it greatly. The only unpleasant thing is that I always have to explain and justify, and the well-meaning guys will rub all parts of my body for hours just to make me come (even if I explain them that I'm fine and would like to sleep), so sooner or later I give in and fake one, just to make them stop. Which is a bad ending.

18. I've masturbated since I was ten, first with the shower. I learned to come by my hand much later (around 17) after many frustrating but determined tries. Vibrators or other tools don't work too well for me, but in the last months I've proudly learned to use my left hand instead of the right one. This was necessary mainly because I sometimes need the right one on the mouse...

19. I've always been interested in porn and very early found all the hiding places where my parents kept their erotic literature. I totally am a book person, so well-written erotic fiction works by far best for me, but sometimes I fall for pics and videos and get lost in a weird world between arousal and disgust for my own interest in rough sex, which very often leads me to see things I really, really disapprove of. Another problem is that I cannot stand artificial tits/fingernails/moaning, which excludes 90% of commercial porn.

20. My use of porn comes in waves. There are months in which I don't consume it at all, and 4-5 times a year I get sucked into a weekend full of porn and weird erotic dreams, which can continue for days. I'll masturbate on any occasion, daydream about every man I encounter and think about nothing but sex and porn. I start by reading soft stuff, sharpen my preferences, try out increasingly kinky topics and normally it ends when I involuntarily find a convincingly REAL rape-video, am totally turned off for the next two months, want to vomit and hate the world.

21. Recently, I seem to have found an alternative in the world of queer and sex-positive porn. Turns me on a lot, too, but in a totally different way, perhaps less strong, but it leaves me happy afterwards, not with this terrible aftertaste.

22. I find "feminine" behavior and looks in men incredibly attractive and arousing. Long-haired men can be sure of my attention and erotic interest, regardless of their looks or character (the latter is a problem sometimes...).

23. In general, I find the male body very beautiful, even of not classically beautiful men. And I love the moment of intimacy, when I get to see one naked for the first time. I could just look at him for hours.

24. Be it in friendship or love or sex, I've always been attracted by the idea of being a threesome with two men. In new surroundings I tend to befriend a "couple" of two male best friends, so we always go out as a threesome, talk about our problems as a threesome, and I feel accepted by both of them while I love witnessing their friendship as well. Additionally, I daydream of erotic experiments of this type, but I've never managed to create a situation of this kind.

25. The closest I ever got to #24 was lying between two male friends of mine in total darkness in a tent, kissing each of them and noticing that while caressing me, their hands touched and started caressing each other on my body. Once, their lips touched while they were both trying to kiss me, and they briefly kissed. Then we were interrupted (§$%#@!!!). Still, it's one of my hottest memories.

2011-11-27T21:11:00.000-08:00

1. I identify (and present) as male, and I don't consider myself androgynous at all. But I also don't feel obligated to follow the socially prescribed behaviors that come attached to one's sex. I see no reason for the apelike chest-beating guys often engage in. I don't subscribe to the "real men should always do this or that, and never do x or y" crap. Masculinity itself has become a caricature. We’re expected to aspire to these played-out clichés and try to show that we're the most alpha-take-charge-manly-man guy in the room. We're supposed to be the crotch-scratching, money-throwing, willing-to-do-anything-for-sex, drunken, sports-team-cheering types who aren’t able to have conversations about how we feel and what we need. Personally, I refuse to be that. It’s not who I am. For me, masculinity has two faces. There’s the sexy, comfortable side, and there’s the prefabricated stereotypical sludge that others push on us. Game-playing and one-upmanship are not masculinity.

2. To me, BDSM play is sexual in nature, even if the actions themselves aren't. (D/s may or may not be sexual, depending on the situation.) The play doesn't have to directly involve sex of any kind, but there's an underlying vibe of sexuality during a scene. It's sexy and usually turns on those who are doing the playing.

3. When it comes to sexual partners, I prefer quality over quantity.

4. I am a heterosexual cisgendered man. I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty about that.

5. I'm not one of those people who always knew they had an interest in BDSM. I developed that interest when I was in my early 20s. I do have a foot fetish, though, which I recognized fairly early on. I can remember checking out some of my classmates' feet as early as 5th grade. When I say "fetish" I don't mean the obsessive "I need this in order to get off" type fetish. Rather, I see a fetish as simply one interest I have.

6. I was kicked in the balls once in high school. It made me lightheaded, and I didn't enjoy any aspect of it. Now, I find ball-kicking incredibly sexy. Cringe-inducing and intense, but sexy. I highly doubt the fact that it turns me on is related to the high school incident, though. Just goes to show that fetishes can evolve over time. For the longest time, the thought of ball-kicking was off-putting to me; now, it's something that gets me hot.

7. Exclusivity is valuable to me, whether it's emotional exclusivity or sexual exclusivity. Giving something to your partner, something you're not giving to anyone else, speaks volumes about your feelings for that person. It's a way of showing them that they're special. It means a lot more than something store-bought. If anything, I place more value on emotional exclusivity than sexual exclusivity.

8. Because I value exclusivity, I've occasionally felt like a pariah in the BDSM community. "Bi-poly-switch-swinger" sometimes seems to be the standard. But I realize that these folks are simply more vocal, and in talking with lots of people, I've found there are a very large number who feel the same way I do.

9. Many things in BDSM carry a dual nature for me. A certain form of play might make my brain scream "yes" and "no" at the same time. I genuinely want it to stop when it's happening, but later on I might look back on it and think, "wow, that was really hot!" as well as, "wow, that really sucked!" This is true for lots of activities/fetishes, and play that has this two-pronged contradictory quality is the play I get off on the most.

10. "Dominating the mouth" is powerful. The mouth is one of the most guarded, almost sacred parts of the body. We protect our mouths carefully. Being made to take something into it has a strong effect on me. Foot/armpit worship, spit, cum, sock gags, piss, strap-on fellatio... they all hit me hard. This kind of play is horrible, dirty, and sexy.

11. I've never orgasmed from oral. It feels fantastic, but it's not enough to get me off.

12. Enforced chastity doesn't mean we don't have sex. My Mistress keeps the key around her neck, so we can have sex whenever she likes. She just makes sure I don't orgasm when we do. Chastity doesn't suppress the sex drive; rather, it enhances it to an almost intolerable level.

13. I didn't lose my virginity until after high school. There were opportunities for casual sex, but I passed on those. And I was too preoccupied with partying to pursue a meaningful relationship at the time.

14. Blood play turns me on. Obviously in non-vital amounts. So primal and feral. Having blood forcibly removed from my body while I can only struggle and watch is a powerful experience.

15. For that matter, force in general is one of the hottest things ever. Adding force, bondage, or helplessness of some form increases the sexiness of just about anything.

16. I'm a firm believer that there need to be more birth control options for men. Our reproductive systems are simpler than women's, so I don't understand why nothing has been developed yet. Men would be able to take more responsibility for birth control, plus it would give us control over our own reproductive rights. Currently our only non-surgical option is to slap a balloon on it. And this balloon desensitizes quite a bit, while having a less-than-stellar failure rate compared to other methods of birth control.

17. I currently consider myself hetero, but would be open to playing and/or sex with another man if I ever found one I was attracted to. I have yet to meet one. I can generally tell when a guy would be considered attractive by others, even if I'm not attracted to him myself.

18. The internet almost scared me away from getting involved in the local BDSM community. I saw so much about protocol, ritual and structure that it put me off of the idea of going to any local events. From those I talked with online, it seemed like the majority of BDSMers were deeply into these things, and that's definitely not my style of submission. But once I got involved locally, I realized that the majority of people aren't heavily into these.

19. Being pushed hard is a fetish for me. Being made to take more than I think I can take is an all-encompassing experience. "Intense" doesn't even begin to describe it. Even in spite of the strong "no" I feel at the time, there's a sense of catharsis afterward. And in a relationship, being pushed that hard can strengthen the d/s between us. It adds to the extent of her power over me; she's still doing what she wants to do even if I'm screaming "no" into the gag and thrashing against the bonds with everything I've got.

20. After typing that last bit, I'm now rather turned on.

21. It's extremely rare for me to be able to get off when using a condom. My PA desensitized my cock head a little, so it's difficult to feel enough to orgasm when wearing a condom. In spite of that, the intimacy is still really important to me.

22. I'm curious about slave branding. For me, a stable, long-term relationship is prerequisite. And we'd have to get rid of my ability to safeword if we were to do this. Scary. Intimidating. Sexy.

23. I'm extremely visual. This is a big part of why blindfolds don't do much for me. It's also one reason I really enjoy woman-on-top sexual positions; the point of view is incredible. (Plus there's the control aspect, but that's another topic.)

24. I am multi-orgasmic. This is a learned ability, not an inherent one. The trick is in learning to separate orgasm from ejaculation. The "drop" most men feel after orgasm comes from hormones released after ejaculation. Once you learn to orgasm without ejaculating, you're golden. When I masturbate to orgasm, I typically don't come unless I'm told to.

25. For a while, I considered myself "byproduct-curious." I had a mild curiosity about my Mistress making me eat other men's cum from her pussy, soles, or asshole when we first started seeing each other. We also talked about her snowballing other men's cum with me, or gagging me with her cum-drenched panties or socks. The other men involved would essentially be sperm donors who left after getting off. But after she started making me eat my own cum, I remembered how much I dislike eating cum. Hot in my head, eew in reality. So I started having second thoughts. And this only made her want to do it even more. 99% of the time, I'm firmly on the "no" side, though when I'm on the edge of orgasm, it sounds like a hot idea. She taunts me occasionally that this will become a frequent, regular part of our play. That thought kind of makes me nervous, mainly because I know it's not an idle threat.

2011-11-25T21:01:00.000-08:00

1. I am a 43-year-old male, maybe metrosexual, bisexual, SM-curious switch, an exhibitionist and a voyeur. I enjoy being open-minded and I'm very curious about the sexuality spectrum. I have been sexually active since I was 12.

2. I have been living in a wonderful partnership with my girlfriend since we were both 19 years old. We have a son together. He is 20 years old.

3. A huge part of my sexuality is being an exhibitionist. I don’t really care who sees me naked, in fact I really hate how our culture makes nudity a scandal. It’s a body, we all have one. I would think we all see ourselves naked at least for showers. And you know what: if we were all a bit more relaxed about it, I think there would be a million (at least) more people more comfortable in their own skin.

4. I love to fuck woman. And I love men's bodies. Whenever I am looking for partners, I prefer androgynous, queer, cross-people. I would love to meet intersexual people. Its the most interesting thing for me, to mix and cross sexual specifications.

5. A lot of people have told me, I am a really masculine man, but with many female qualities. I am very happy about that.

6. I have had sex with more people I can count. I was working as a call boy from 15 to 26 and had a lot of experiences in the gay scene in Berlin. In the last 10 years there have been more and more contacts with open-minded females and hetero-flexible persons.

7. In my family we don't talk about sex. It's a pity. And I wonder how I got so curious and adventurous.

8. I learned masturbating from a friend at 10 years. I started masturbating in public at 12 years. My first orgasm with ejaculation I had on a beach in France at 13.

9. I like cybersex because it's possible to meet other kinky, open-minded people. But sometimes I have to reduce the time online to get more time for real life.

10. I love to work as a model. Sure, it's cool for an exhibitionist, but in fact, I want to help to bring good porn, art-porn to the people, to free the minds for a healthy sexuality.

11. I love cross-dressing. It's cool to find out something about the other gender, while being dressed like a female. And I like to meet other cross-dressers.

12. I like to be fucked by a female with a strap-on. It's a very intimate thing for me (also to be fucked by men). And I love to see how proud women are, when they are fucking me.

13. One of my favorite things is to see a man coming. I love cocks, and I love feeling come on every part of my body. For sure, I love to give my semen to others. I know, there are many people (mostly females) who don't want to see millions of cum-shots in a woman's face. I don't like them either, because it's a must in porn films, and not a fetish of the actors. But if the actors are really into it, I love it.

14. I want to shoot some porn-movies soon, showing this kind of sex in a better, artistic way, to bring this fetish out of the fucked mainstream way of porn.

15. I want to explore more about SM. I love to play, love to feel new impressions, new possibilities. But I don't like the way of people only performing SM-shows. I would learn more about real people's feelings while having SM sex.

16. I have had sex on a variety of drugs. Smoking weed gets me horny and it feels so good to fuck around while stoned. I’ve had sex while on acid, mushrooms, ecstasy and speed. I love Viagra stuff, because I am a cock fetishist and love to be hard for hours.

17. I like public sex. Love having sex in nature. It makes me scream like an animal, and it's a completely different feeling to be connected with Mother Earth while having sex.

18. I usually don't masturbate every day. It's very variable. Some weeks I masturbate every day, some times only two times a week. I try to do it whenever I like. Also in the office, while shopping, in the park...

19. I love to masturbate in groups. It's a special kind of fun, having sex without exchanging touch. It feels very free and easy.

20. The best way to have sex, for me, is when I am absolutely sure that my partner is doing just the things he/she wants to do. I have to feel that he/she is wanting me, wanting the situation. It's cool to feel a self-confident partner.

21. I care much for porn. I want to participate with people who are doing or consuming porn. But only art-port, good-porn, warm-porn, cool-porn, queer-porn, transgender-porn...

22. I love many kinds of bodies. Male bodies I like slim, young, smooth, hairless. Females bodies can be more beefy. I don't like hairy bodies; love shaved pussies and cocks.

23. Things I've never done but want to: double vaginal, a bukkake session with more than 10 men (active or passive), being exhibited by a dominant partner...

24. I need more and more mental connection to enjoy sex with others. Sometimes it's OK to have short, rough sex, but I love to feel secure while having sex.

25. I want to stay kinky and curious until I am an old man.

2011-11-24T20:52:00.001-08:00

1. I am a 19-year-old cisgendered female. I am, at least theoretically, pansexual and have identified as such since I was about 14.

2. I said theoretically in (1) because I only had my first kiss in June this year, and I've never had any more extensive sexual contact with another person. This is slightly frustrating to me because I'm really tactile and I love hugging my friends and sitting on their laps. I don't know how to initiate sexual contact. It is this huge mystery to me.

3. My first kiss happened in a club. I was telling a friend-of-a-friend that I'd never been kissed, and she asked if I wanted to. It was a lot easier than I had built up in my head. She was awesome. I slept with her, in a purely literal sense, and we cuddled. She stood me up a few times, later on, and I gave up on her. I don't regret it at all.

4. I have only ever orgasmed maybe once when masturbating, which I've been doing since I was maybe 13. It was right when I started doing it, and hasn't happened since. I don't know if I'm just "doing it wrong," if it's impossible for me to get off alone or if I just can't orgasm. I'm kind of scared that it's the last one.

5. I usually masturbate when I'm reading slash. The descriptions of the sex scenes turn me on, and the masturbation is secondary. I usually stop when I am tired out and messy. I don't orgasm, but it's still satisfying.

6. I think I'm polyamorous. The idea of having only one partner and neither of you being allowed to have any other sexual or romantic relationships has always been a little baffling to me, especially because my high school friends paraded an endless display of failed monogamy.

7. I've been, in real life, attracted to a lot more girls than guys. I think it's because I went to an all-girl school and am more physically comfortable in the presence of girls. I didn't really have proper male friends until varsity.

8. I was in love with my best friend in high school. She had a plethora of boyfriends, but I don't think she was entirely straight. She used to bite the tips of my fingers because somehow she realised that her biting me turned me on. It was like a game. We used to sit in the back row during one of our classes with a third friend and feel each other up. She pushed me up against a wall once and I thought (hoped) she'd kiss me, but we were interrupted. I haven't seen her in two years but she recently got in touch with me and wants to meet up. I'm worried that I'm still in love with her.

9. I really, really like the idea of being pushed up against a wall and kissed.

10. I think I might be submissive. I don't know to what degree, or if it's just an expression of my lack of practical sex knowledge. I like the idea of being held down and fucked. I like the idea of sitting on the floor next to someone, with my head on their lap. I like the idea of obeying an order, not because I have to or will be punished if I don't, but just to please someone. I don't know if these are just idle fantasies or deeper kinks.

11. I like the idea of walking around all day with something inside me, because I was told to. To remind me that someone cares about me and is thinking of me, and to remind me of them. I like the idea of all my normal interactions being part of an extended sex game.

12. I think I might want someone to control me to counterbalance my own lack of self-control.

13. In contrast to (9), I don't think I'm masochistic. I have a really low pain tolerance. But I want to try, to see.

14. I feel like I haven't come into my sexual identity yet and it frustrates me to think of all the sex I could be having. I always feel more connected to someone when I'm physically close to them. I think I'll adore sex.

15. I don't think sex has to be romantic, but I do want there to be a level of respect. I don't want anonymous sex (at this point).

16. Possibly as a byproduct of the amount of gay porn I read, I have quite a fascination with anal play. I really want to be rimmed, even though the practical aspects of it gross me out a little.

17. I am currently crushing on this girl who already has a girlfriend, kind of. They've been playing around for months, casually, but I went on a date with her before they were officially going out. She stipulated that their relationship had to be open, but I'm not sure how happy or comfortable her girlfriend is with that.

18. It worries me that I don't really care what the aforementioned girlfriend thinks too much. I, certainly, am not at all bothered. People keep asking if she's my girlfriend "yet," as if that is the only possible end-goal. I don't think she's a fan of commitment. I don't know if she'll ever be my girlfriend. There will certainly never be anything on Facebook, because you can't link yourself to more than one person, and I wouldn't be the person she chose if she did put anything up.

19. I've made a lot of first moves in the quasi-relationship-thing. I told her I liked her. I asked her out. I invited her to a party. I kissed her. (And that was nerve-wracking.) I'm not sure I'm comfortable with being even a little dominant in this relationship, but I think she's worth trying it out. I'm maybe hoping, a little, that she'll take over control soonish. She's older than me (21), and a lot more sexually experienced (not that that's hard).

20. I have no desire to wear a strap-on, but the idea of being fucked by a girl with a strap-on is somewhat appealing.

21. I have group-sex fantasies. I am really turned on by the idea of double penetration, while also sucking someone off. I like the idea of being filled and used. But I'd really need to trust the participants. I don't know if it's something I could ever actually do.

22. I think I might like semi-public sex, or being watched. There is something intriguing about being sexual in front of or near other people that really turns me on. Sometimes I masturbate next to my window, with the curtains open. If my neighbors were on the roof for some reason, or somehow able to see over the wall, they would see me.

23. I have never felt or seen an erect penis in real life. I kind of want to, and I'm intrigued by the idea of giving head. I think I'd like knowing that I turned someone on that visibly. That having been said, I am not sexually attracted to any of the guys in my social circle at the moment. I've been attracted to a few guys before but they were either not interested in me or assholes, sometimes both.

24. I am platonically in love with two of my friends at the moment, one male and one female. I'm not really sure that I could ever explain that to them. While there is actually no sexual component to my feelings for them, I am extremely happy when I am around them, far more than any of my other friends. I am exceptionally concerned for their happiness. My chest kind of aches a little just thinking about them, because they are absolutely amazing. I don't know if anyone else has this degree of non-sexualized love for their friends. I don't know if they realise how in love with them I am.

25. I am totally comfortable with my own body, despite the fact that I should probably exercise more for purely health-related reasons. I can't wait to have someone else touch me and kiss me, and yet I have this latent fear that there is something weird about me that I haven't realized, that will put someone else off.

2011-11-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

1.) I am a 28-year-old female who doesn't think the word "bisexual" captures all the nuances of what I feel.

2.) I remember being curious about sex since I was a child, although I never quite knew what I was I was thinking about or why. However, I didn't start masturbating until I was 16. That night was one of the most memorable in my sexual history so far.

3.) When I was in middle school/ high school I never felt very connected to my body unless it was through masturbation. I always compared my body to other girls' and wondered what they looked like naked. This was also the time I started to wonder if I may be attracted to women in a deeper way.

4.) Despite all this, I was still very attracted to men. I had a crush on my English teacher in high school and I would fantasize that he would ask me to stay after class, strip me naked and fuck me on top of his desk. I would have this fantasy all during class and I would blush whenever my teacher would look over at me. I still have a thing for older men to this day.

5.) I think about sex every single day.

6.) I once had a crazy sex fantasy involving Jabba the Hutt.

7.) I bought my first vibrator at the age of 20, and since that time have bought many more. I am always shocked when I read/hear about women in their 20s, 30s or 40s who still don't own one. I couldn't live without mine. In fact, I would say I am having a love affair with mine, and I'm not sure anyone could ever fulfill me the way "it" does.

8.) I lost my virginity at the age of 22 and it was amazing. I'm glad I waited for the guy I lost it with. I finally began to understand my sexual power. He became my boyfriend, and the real exploration began. We did every single position I think a body can twist itself into. He is the only man who has taken his time to ensure that I enjoy oral sex and come from it. By the time we broke up, I was able to come within 5 minutes of his tongue touching me.

9.) I have been with 7 other men since him, and I am waiting for the opportunity to be with a woman.

10.) I had a mini-three-way once. It was a disaster. My friend and I spent 45 minutes trying to just get this guy hard with a blow job, and nothing. We were both pretty annoyed.

11.) Despite #10, I would still like to try another three-way, except this time with an experienced couple.

12.) I love having sex outside the bedroom/not on the bed. I love it in the shower, up against the wall, on my parents' bed, the couch, on the kitchen countertop, on the floor, or in front of the window for everyone to see. I'm not opposed to the bed, but it just gets so boring.

13.) I love to wear lingerie, and I hate it when guys don't appreciate the effort you put into it.

14.) I love getting spanked.

15.) It's very clear to me now that what turns you on at 16 is very different from what turns you on at 26, and that your interests evolve. For example, I used to think #14 was degrading, and now it gets me wet. I used to like watching guys jerk off onto me and now I get so utterly bored at the thought of it. I used to be uncomfortable verbally expressing what I wanted sexually, and now I am obsessed with sexting. Nothing is narrowly defined anymore.

16.) My ex-boyfriend gave me a rim job in the shower once and it was so sexy. The most recent guy I slept with begged me to do it while I was giving him a blow job and while I was hesitant at first, when I saw how crazy it made him, I loved doing it. He has a pretty nice asshole for a guy.

17.) After I broke up with my boyfriend it took me a long time to find another guy who matched his passion in the bedroom. I met that guy last year and he broke my heart into a million pieces. I could not stop thinking about or masturbating to the thought of him for months. I don't know if you can actually crave another human being, but that is how I felt about him. I would sleep with him again in a minute.

18.) Some of my favorite porn involves watching a black man/white woman. I think a black dick is just so hot.

19.) More thoughts on porn: most porn creeps me out/severely bothers me. I hate seeing these women, with their straw-like blond hair, designer vags, and vacant looks choking on some guy's dick. I can always tell when men are heavily into porn by the way they fuck me. It is not fun to be used like a doll. I love a good hard fuck as much as the next girl but I think porn is doing little to show a man how to really make love to a woman. Foreplay is essential! Unless you only have 10 minutes to have sex, there is no need for rushing. Breasts should be slowly touched and licked. They are permanently attached to my body, so please stop twisting them like you are opening a door. The female anatomy should be a required study for men. There are a million ways to get a woman off.

20.) I frequently masturbate to the thought of women. I think a woman's body is so beautiful and sexy. Some women are so beautiful that they can stop me in my tracks. Watching two women go down on each other slowly makes me come the quickest. I used to wonder what all this meant, since I was still attracted to men and it left me very confused, but now I subscribe to the thought that sexuality is as vast and complicated as the universe. It doesn't have to make sense. You just need to enjoy it.

21.) What I wish we were teaching teenagers/young adults is that sex is nothing to fear and you are ALLOWED to enjoy yourself. There is such fear in this country about sex, and yet such an obvious obsession with it. Women are encouraged to be sexy at all times, but I don't think most people bother to ask "What gets you off?" I think a class in Sexual Communication should be required in all high schools and colleges. I'm also getting tired of hearing people badmouthing places like Planned Parenthood. You have to learn how to take care of your sexual health, and PP is one of the few open places for young people to go to. Plus any guy who has ever sighed a breath of relief when his girlfriend didn't get pregnant, you can indirectly thank the woman who inspired PP.

22.) I think sex is so much more fun in the dark. Makes it more mysterious.

23.) The older I get, the less enticing marriage and motherhood is becoming to me. My fantasy life would be to travel to many countries and have lovers in each of them. Each lover would satisfy a particular need in me. One can dream.

24.) I actually have a "fuck-it" list of men and women that I want to sleep with before I die.

25.) I feel that I am only at the tip of the iceberg of understanding sex and what I like.

2011-11-06T23:00:00.000-08:00

1. I am a 23-year-old female queer, sadomasochistic switch, both an exhibitionist and a voyeur. I enjoy a wide range of the sexuality spectrum and I have been sexually active since I was 18. At least that’s when I lost my virginity; I started exploring BDSM with my "sister" around 15.

2. I should explain my "sister." We are not biological siblings; however, we do consider one another sisters. We also have casually played with one another since high school. Have I mentioned yet I have an incest fetish? Well, I do. While this twisted relationship is difficult to explain, I know she will be a part of my life until we die.

3. Being kinky is a huge part of my sexual identity. All of my significant others since becoming sexually active have been kinky, which started out as a fluke. All of them also really love giving oral. I apparently have great luck when it comes to attracting mates.

4. When I say all of my significant others, I mean three men. Since I was 18 and became sexually active I have had three long term boyfriends, although none of those relationships were monogamous. My first two boyfriends lasted roughly two years each and my current relationship is going on a year. I haven’t been single for longer than a few months since I was 16 years old.

5. However, I have fucked a whole lot more than three men. I’ve been with twelve men and five women. Three of those individuals had been thirds to my boyfriend at the time and I. One individual was a part of a couple of whom I was their third. Four individuals were on a “fuck-buddy-kinda-dating-not together” sort of relationship and six were one-night stands.

6. I have kissed roughly 33 people, give or take some drunken encounters that I may not remember.

7. My mother and older sister (biological sister and 11 years my elder) have always been very open about sex with me. I’ve had “the talk” on several different occasions growing up and it included everything from penetrative sex, to oral and masturbation. The first time I ever masturbated was after such a talk, because of what my sister said. She said “how can you expect a man to please you, if you don’t know what it is you like?” I was 13.

8. The first time I did masturbate, I scared the hell out of myself. The reason being that I completely and utterly soaked my sheets to the point that I had to change the bedding. I didn’t know what had happened and worried that maybe I pissed myself. I wasn’t able to get off for a long time after that.

9. I started cybersexing when I was 13. I had a different AIM that I used for cybersex, and I of course would lie about my age. I didn’t want to lie too much, though, so I would tell them that I was 16. I did a lot of daddy/girl, teacher/student role-play with it. I did it consistently for two years; I stopped for a while and then dabbled with it again in high school. I haven’t bothered with it in years, though.

10. I don’t have body issues--in fact I actually quite like my body--nor do I possess much modesty. I don’t really care who sees me naked, in fact I really hate how our culture makes nudity a scandal. It’s a body, we all have one. I would think we all see ourselves naked at least for showers. And you know what: if we were all a bit more relaxed about it, I think there would be a million (at least) more people more comfortable in their own skin.

11. I cross-dress. I love being a woman and I love my breasts; but my breasts also feel oh-so-good bound in Ace bandages. I like binding my breasts and putting on male clothing.

12. And do I love wearing a strap-on. I love taunting my boy about how large my cock is before shoving it up his ass.

13. Remember how I mentioned I am a switch? Well, my boyfriend is my slave. He is the only person I dominate, however; the rest of my play partners are tops (or switches whom I bottom to).

14. This is my first M/s relationship, however, where I was the M type. I feel like I still have a lot to learn when it comes to that.

15. My thighs, ribs, sternum, and breasts are all currently deeply bruised from a play date I had three days ago with one such top. I also happen to have bruising on my throat from choking. It was marvelous and I still keep going over it in my mind. It doesn’t help that this particular top is one whom I have a deep and abiding crush on.

16. I have had sex on a variety of drugs. Weed is sexy. Smoking gets me horny and it feels so good to fuck around while stoned. I’ve had sex while on acid, mushrooms, ecstasy, molli, alcohol, and a variety of pills. Having sex while tripping is a more intimate experience, though, it’s almost spiritual.

17. I like public sex. I keep a list of all of the unusual places I’ve had sex. My favorite is probably the USX Steel Tower.

18. I usually masturbate at least once a day. On a good day, three times or more. If I’m bored at home, I masturbate. Occasionally, I’ll masturbate in the bathroom at work. My favorite is to use my bullet vibe on my clit. I have a couple dildos but I don’t like using them as much by myself.

19. I tend to masturbate more when my slave is in chastity. I like to tell him how often I orgasm, and I like to tell him how I do it for him.

20. I’ve had rape fantasies since I was young. When I told my first boyfriend about it, however, he refused to rape me. He thought I would find the reality to be less appealing than the fantasy. However, my second boyfriend did indulge in my fantasies, and I have not found that theory to hold true for me.

21. I don’t much care for porn. It doesn’t do much for me; usually I just end up making fun of the girls for being so fake. I prefer written erotica, and oddly enough I really like hentai.

22. I really, really, really want to date a girl. My second boyfriend and I had our own girlfriend for some time, but I want my own girlfriend. I was on a mission after breaking up with my second boyfriend to find a girl to date, but I tend to be shyer with girls. And it seems like girls don’t hit on me as often as men do, and I’m always worried about barking up the wrong tree.

23. While this isn’t exactly sexual, I need physical touch to stay sane. I am an incredibly affectionate person with the people I trust and care about; hugs, pets, head rubs are all awesome things. If I become deprived of physical affection, I become moody and temperamental.

24. I think cheating is one of the worst things you can do to a person. There’s no excuse, ever. It’s wrong, it’s emotionally trying, and one should have more control over their desires than that. This is a stance that I believed in when I was a kid, and I believe it even more after I have cheated on my first boyfriend (although when I cheated on my boyfriend it was with kisses and not sex, not that it makes it better but it makes me feel a little less of a horrible human being) and was cheated on by my first and second boyfriends. I don’t excuse my previous actions, but at least I’ve learned from them. I will never cheat on anybody again.

25. I will never do an on-again-off-again relationship again. I am the product of an on-again-off-again and I always swore I wouldn’t do it. However, with my second boyfriend, I did. It’s difficult to say how long we were together because we broke up three times and got back together twice within 2/3 years. Even after the last time we broke up we continued to fuck for at least 6 months without “being together.” It ended in a flaming ball of misery and it wouldn’t have if we had just ended it cleanly the first time. Blame it on being stupid, young and in love.

2011-11-05T22:51:00.000-07:00

1. I am a queer, poly, kinky, femme young woman. I've only recently become more comfortable with the term "femme."

2. I finally had my first kiss with another woman at the age of 19. She and I dated for approximately 3 months.

3. I once had a threesome with said woman and her long-term male partner in their apartment. He watched us have sex, I watched them have sex. Her partner and I did not have sex. It was good, sober, sexy fun. Prior to this lovely occurrence, I often slept over at their place. We made an awesome body sandwich.

4. I enjoy being tied up, blindfolded and tickled. Sometimes I enjoy being tortured, other times I like it more playful. I still feel a lot of shame about my tickle fetish, which I'm sure I developed at a young age.

5. One of my fantasies is to be bound and tickled by a few people at once. One would stimulate my clit with a feather. They would deny me an orgasm until they wanted me to come.

6. I also have a foot fetish. I love to play with other people's feet and have my own played with. This involves tickling and kissing. I also enjoy having my toes sucked.

7. Porn, for the most part, really doesn't excite me. However, I get turned on by watching videos of people being tickled, primarily women.

8. I have never performed oral sex on another woman, however I would very much like to.

9. I do not enjoy being penetrated, although recently I think my partner found my "G-spot."

10. I have multiple erogenous zones. A few of them are my lower back, feet, neck, breasts and thighs.

11. I love reading feminist erotica.

12. I am a member of FetLife and the Tickling Media Forum.

13. I think black latex gloves are quite sexy.

14. I own under-the-bed restraints which are pretty easy to use.

15. I am primarily attracted to curvy women.

16. I don't masturbate often, but when I do, I usually will masturbate multiple times that day. Masturbating before bed helps me fall asleep.

17. I really value and enjoy being in polyamorous relationships. Right now though, I'm currently in a long-term monogamous relationship. I often question monogamy and the ways in which it can be very limiting.

18. I own at least 3 vibrators.

19. I love giving hickeys.

20. I've had four friends in the past who I met through TMF and had tickle sessions with. Tickling men turns me on. I've never yet had the chance to tickle another woman.

21. I came out as bisexual at the age of 16.

22. I am interested in becoming a sex educator/therapist. I would especially like to work with individuals who are LGBTQI, kinky and/or poly.

23. I constantly wonder how many other people I know share my fetishes.

24. I frequently fantasize about having sex in public places: in an alleyway, behind a tree, in the backseat of a car.

25. I hope to one day be fully comfortable with my body and the ways in which I express arousal.

2011-11-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 46-year-old male, married for 10 years with 2 children.

2. My wife and I are both kinky. She is a submissive masochist and I am a dominant sadist.

3. Sex with my wife always involves me causing her pain in some way. Usually this means spanking her ass or cunt, slapping her tits and pinching her nipples.

4. I am careful to stay within her pain limits, though. This is sometimes frustrating for me.

5. The only kind of pain that I cause her that she does not like is slapping her face while I fuck her.

6. Despite 4 above, I almost always slap her face while I fuck her. She is totally cool with this.

7. When we first met (through a web site), we tried to have a full on D/s relationship. We found this didn't work for us, particularly when the kids came along. Now our kink is mainly a bedroom-only thing, but she knows that if she really stepped out of line that I would punish her for it.

8. No one who knows us would ever believe that we are kinky.

9. We regularly have anal sex. One of my wife’s main fantasies is to have me piss into her ass. I have never done this, though, as it just is not a turn-on for me.

10. I do, however, enjoy pissing into her mouth. She likes this too.

11. When my wife sucks my cock, she will generally lick my asshole too.

12. Despite the fact that I can do anything I want to my wife and have fulfilled pretty much every fantasy I have ever had with her, I still sometimes toy with the idea of finding another woman to fuck on the side.

13. Despite the fact that I can have any kind of sex I want with my wife any time I want it, I still masturbate at least once a week.

14. Weirdly, when I masturbate I fantasize about doing all the things I regularly do to my wife, except in the fantasies I am doing them to someone else.

15. The biggest turn-on for me is that the person I am doing these things to, really really wants me to do them. I would not be turned on at all by the thought of doing these things to an unwilling 'victim.'

16. I occasionally fantasize about dominating a man: beating the crap out of him, pissing on him and then having him suck me off. I am almost afraid of the violence that I feel I might be capable of in this situation.

17. My first sexual experience was with a male priest. He got me drunk and sucked my cock. I have never told anyone that before. I was about 14 at the time.

18. This priest would be an excellent candidate for the victim role in #16.

19. Apart from #17 above, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19.

20. I have had sex with about 10 women in my life.

21. Every woman I have ever had sex with was kinky in some way. This leads me to believe that pretty much all women harbor some kinkiness of some sort.

22. As I get older, my desire for sex is diminishing. This pisses me off no end.

23. I wish I had a bigger cock. Mine is of average size, but I wish it was bigger. I also wish I produced more cum.

24. I occasionally come too soon (before I am ready). This is very frustrating.

25. I have toyed with the idea in the past of finding another submissive woman to join me and my wife in a threesome. She is open to this idea, but my occasional premature ejaculation makes me nervous about it.

2011-11-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

1. I’m 23, female, bisexual and not sure that I’ve ever been in love.

2. I’m a hardened cynic when it comes to love and relationships – head over heart syndrome. My friends think that someone could one day sweep me off my feet, but they acknowledge that it would be pretty difficult.

3. I started masturbating at 14 and still remember how amazing my first orgasm was. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. After that I got a bit addicted and did it as much as 15 times a day for a while. Even now I masturbate way more often than most women, and I certainly did it more than my last boyfriend, to his embarrassment and my amusement.

4. Even though I can make myself come inside a minute, I’ve only come during PIV sex a few times, and never without clitoral stimulation. When people go down on me I usually get there in the end, and it's worth the wait.

5. I’ve had sex with 4 people – 2 guys and 2 girls. The first was a girl, when I was 19 and she was 24. I was a bit of a late developer – my first kiss was at 18, and I was 20 the first time I had sex with a guy. At the time it really bothered me, but now I couldn’t care less.

6. I used to have a lot of confusion about my sexuality, constantly analyzing everything, and usually coming to multiple conclusions even within the same day. Now I’ve learned to lighten up about it. I tend to find girls hotter and think of guys more as relationship material, but there are always exceptions.

7. The first girl I had a crush on was when I was 14 or 15. I would do anything to make her laugh, and I used to fantazise about having sex with her in the study room in the library. I never told her, but I suspected she was into girls as well.

8. I’ve read porn since I was 13, but only started watching it when I was 21. I read m/m porn mostly, with some m/f and f/f, but I generally watch f/f or m/f. Also, threesomes.

9. I cross-dressed occasionally for a while, but only in private. I once used a fancy dress party as an excuse to dress as a guy and strap my breasts down, and it felt great. I really want to do it again.

10. I’ve only ever been in one serious relationship, with a guy, J., which lasted a year, on and off, but we started sleeping together again for a while last year. It was great, really good fun, and brought some closure to our relationship.

11. I ruined this by going to see him again a few months ago. We ended up having sex again and I regretted it. I won’t see him again.

12. The best kiss I have ever had, by far, was with a girl, in the middle of a crowded dance floor in a club. I was just drunk enough to be really confident and I remember simply saying to her: “I want to kiss you.” I wish I could do that more often – it totally worked and I was completely blown away by it.

13. She and I had a bit of a fling after that, nothing serious. I started to find her annoying and ditched her in a way I’m less than proud of. I still remember that kiss, though.

14. I have a ‘one that got away’ – I spent a year abroad in Spain and met an American girl there. We were friends for months but nothing happened, and then at a house party she suddenly dragged me into another room and kissed me. It happened a couple of times but she went back to America before we could take it further. I wish I’d been brave enough to make the first move earlier, but I also like wondering what might have been, and if she thinks the same.

15. A similar thing happened with a guy, D., at uni – we knew we liked each other for six months before anything happened. I don’t think of myself as shy generally but when it comes to starting relationships I’m appalling.

16. I’m very reserved when I’m in relationships as well. When I finally got together with D. everything was excruciatingly awkward (we were both virgins at the time) and we split up very quickly. With J. I could never talk about my feelings, though he was surprisingly good at it, considering he was the more reserved one in public.

17. I sometimes worry that I’m a little bit in love with my best friend. She, unfortunately, is the straightest and most unsingle one of all my friends, but she knows something’s up. Sometimes I think something could happen – there’ll be a look, or a comment. She once said that she was thinking about kissing me, and she keeps mentioning that her boyfriend suggests we should have a threesome, which usually comes off as a joke, but sometimes looks like testing the water. (I would totally be up for it.) She’s a very flirty person in general, though, and most of the time I’m fairly sure I’m deluding myself. A more likely, and cynical, explanation is that she’s flattered by the attention and can’t quite bring herself to end it completely.

18. I haven’t had sex in five months, and only once in the last 14.

19. I’ve just joined the army, and I was completely uninterested in sex for the first few weeks – I think it was because I was focusing on the training so much. Now, though, I’m becoming aware that I’m surrounded by hundreds of young, fit men and women, and I’m starting to look for opportunities. I’m fairly sure this is mostly because of 16.

20. I think I’m very open-minded when it comes to sex, and there’s virtually nothing I wouldn’t try, except anal, for reasons too personal to mention even here. My greatest fantasy, though, is to fuck someone (probably a girl) with a strap-on. I suggested it to J. once, and he thought I was joking. I never told him I wasn’t.

21. I don’t think of myself as a relationship person, but every so often I’ll see a couple, whether in the street or in a club, whose closeness and intimacy is so palpable that I actually feel a physical pain in my chest. Those are the moments when I feel lonely.

22. The flip side of my awkwardness in relationships is that I never know when I’m flirting. Twice it’s been pointed out to me that I’m flirting outrageously with someone, and I’m completely unaware of it. I did fancy both of them though.

23. One of the two in #22 is a girl I’ve been friends with for a few years. We kissed a couple of times, and later she told me that I really confused her (she’s straight). Once she came back to mine after a night out to ‘pick up some stuff’ and I completely missed the signs. We never had another opportunity, though I tried my best.

24. Of everyone I've ever kissed, I was always drunk the first time. I thought this was unusual, but if my friends are to be believed it's depressingly common. I've told myself that the next time will be different, but I doubt it somehow.

25. I don’t like opening up to people, and I think that the building up of a serious relationship would be worse than being in it. I’m fairly sure I’ll settle down with someone eventually, but part of me really wants to go a little crazy for a while first.

2011-10-31T22:28:00.000-07:00

1) I am a 29 year old male homosexual. I married my husband this year, which is legal in the country where we live.

2) When I was 20, I had a girlfriend at university, but it only lasted six weeks and was more sort of an experiment. I talked her into having sex before exploring the relationship in more depth, because I still was a virgin and this would release some tension. It did and I still think it was a good idea.

3) When she kissed me the first time, I was surprised and confused because it came somehow unexpected and I had never kissed someone before. I told her that I was willing to see where things might go and that I might be bisexual. She agreed.

4) She broke up with me six weeks after (which might also be related to the fact that I sucked in bed, and I don’t mean the good kind of sucking). I was not too disappointed. Her next boyfriend turned out to be gay, too. But she got over it and we are still friends.

5) I started masturbating when I was 13 and found out how things worked. I do it ever since, usually every day. At nighttime, it gives me a most relaxing weariness and sleep.

6) An orgasm from my own hands feels very different to me from sex. It’s almost like chocolate and strawberries. Both are fine, you have to be in the mood for one or the other.

7) I can shoot quite far. Although it is not always practical as you have to clean the sheets, wall or furniture, it is a huge turn on. I pity the porn stars that only drip.

8) I watch quite a lot of porn. I prefer a natural setting, with people hugging, kissing and laughing. Also, they are allowed to have hair where adults have hair. Trimmed and groomed is OK (this is also how I wear it). I can’t help it, but shaved reminds me of children.

9) Although I should know better, condoms in porn are really a turn-off for me. It just does not work. The main sexual organ is between one’s ears, so I get off on true intimacy, and that includes for me mucosa contact. This is by no means generally anti-condoms. Have safer sex, people, and protect yourselves!

10) My husband is the only man I ever had sex with. It started as an experiment when I was 21, and we sort of stuck together. Although I certainly would have liked to sow my wild oats, I cherish very much what I have. It just turned out that way. We are exclusive and intend to stay so until further notice.

11) Once I was told by a guy in his fifties that every gay relationship opens sooner or later. I was really pissed because who the hell was he to say so? Defiantly, I really hope to prove him wrong (but I’m afraid he might be right).

12) When I was 16, I jerked off a friend when he stayed over. He did not like it, so I apologized the next day and it was OK. I am still a little sorry for urging him, but: hey, it didn’t kill him, and it is also amusing to have had the same cock in my hands that has fucked several girls of our clique.

13) By the way: Someone wrote here before that the world would be a much better place if every man knew about the magic of prostate stimulation. I totally and absolutely agree. One should start campaigning.

14) A few weeks ago, a male gay couple in a magazine was asked whether they practice anal sex as it was quite a challenging/brutal technique. I was really astonished by the tone of this question because although one has to be careful at anal sex, I never looked at it this way. There are days I have trouble fitting the dick of my husband, which is not small. But anal sex is such an intense sensation (also of aforementioned intimacy) that I would never want to miss it.

15) I hate to admit it, but I am a total bottom. Fucking my husband gives me nothing. Zero. (Apart from the slightly encouraging feeling of dominance, also because he is bigger than me.)

16) Blowjobs give me nothing.

17) Because of #15 and #16, I sometimes wonder whether I am a “real” man. I mean, what is “wrong” with me if I can’t come in or by someone else? It is generally very hard if not impossible for me to come without my own hands.

18) Speaking of which, I am sexually really complicated to handle. Sometimes I wished to have a button that makes me come, but instead I have this thing “Touch me there. No, not any longer. Now touch me there. Ouch, your kisses hurt...”

19) The first time we had sex, I was too blocked to come all night.

20) #18 is also the reason I refrain from inviting a third and fourth man into our bed. I’d love to try it, but I’m afraid to “not function” because he doesn’t know how to play me. And additionally I am much more afraid to fuck something up in my relationship. So we don’t. Our sex life is satisfying anyway (for the moment).

21) Luckily, my environment is very liberal and open. I almost never encountered refusal. Coming out was not a big thing either. At work I am also completely outed (OK, it’s academia, but anyway). When I get visited at home, I do not particularly hide our lube. I mean, come on: We are young and healthy, of course we have sex. Hiding it would be more pretentious in my eyes.

22) 25 things are really a lot. Here are a few fun facts: Spontaneous boners in puberty are no fun. I had them for years in school.

23) I had to grin when I got one in a seminar a few weeks ago. Maybe it’s just a neuronal reaction from the combination of hard chairs and boredom.

24) Celebrities I’d like to fuck: Zachary Quinto, Ed Westwick and Elijah Wood. Also Dita von Teese, which is really odd.

25) It’s always funny to see guys getting alcohol-gay, getting all touchy-feely after a few drinks. I can assure you, there is also an alcohol-heterosexual…

2011-10-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

1. I am 22 years old, and a cisgendered female in a very happy relationship with another woman.

2. My girlfriend and I have amazing sex that almost always results in orgasm(s).

3. I hate the word lesbian and use "queer" if I have to label myself. Gay is my favorite term.

4. My first relationship and sexual experiences were with my high school boyfriend. I broke up with him after nearly a year, when we were both in college.

5. The first time he felt my breasts, I didn’t even notice. We were looking at the stars in the back of his pickup truck and when I asked him how high on my chest he felt, he said "to your sternum." I was disappointed that I didn’t feel anything.

6. I told him flat out I wouldn’t have sex with him, and refused to go down on him, although he went down on me once. When I mentally compared my desire for penis vs. vagina, I started to accept that maybe I really was more into girls.

7. I hooked up with a few guys during college, mostly after dancing with them. I find dancing incredibly sexy.

8. I came out junior year of college, and wish I had done so earlier, because I was suddenly a hot item among the ladies, gay and straight, on campus. Sometimes I imagine the sexual possibilities I might have missed out on.

9. I hardly remember the first time I had sex with a woman. I was black-out drunk and we did it outside on a campus athletic field. I think this is unfortunate, but can’t say I truly regret it.

10. I love to be dominated in bed. Nothing gets me more excited than when my girlfriend takes charge, pins my hands against the wall, and fucks me roughly. I’ve suggested handcuffs, and she suggested a dildo, but we haven’t done it… yet.

11. I love eating pussy and especially when she grabs my hair and screams.

12. I have a fetish for wet and messy play. I’ve never told anybody.

13. I discovered porn when I was in sixth or seventh grade, and have always preferred gay men going at it. I think I’m drawn to the aggression.

14. Around the same time, I began devising elaborate plots to get my female friends to pie me in the face. It turned me on, but I didn’t realize I was being turned on. I remember examining my underwear to see if I was wet. It was soaked.

15. Later, I discovered masturbation with the help of the bathtub, after innocently thinking to wash my vagina extra well since I was on my period. I thought I was having sex the first time.

16. I was raised Lutheran and have overcome more than a few ingrained religious qualms to become the sex-positive person I am today, minus the religion.

17. I would love to get fucked with a strap-on.

18. I masturbate a lot. Sometimes just to sleep, I usually don’t put that much effort into it. I never have trouble reaching orgasm, but in extremely high-stress situations, I can’t come.

19. When I’m really turned on, my saliva tastes different. This only happens with my girlfriend. I like it.

20. When I came out to my parents, my dad was totally cool. My mom wasn’t. I’m not allowed to tell my brother, I’m never going to tell my grandma. My mom’s trying hard though. It was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever done.

21. After I told my dad about my girlfriend, he advised me to wait for sex (too late, I thought) because he and mom had waited until marriage. Why would I wait for sex if I can’t legally get married where I live?

22. The first time my girlfriend really fucked me, I had asked her to do it, then got overwhelmed and had to stop. I was a little disappointed, but it was actually a really intimate experience.

23. I want to cut my hair short, but have been nervous about the associations that come with it. I think I’m going to do it this fall.

24. I am really turned on by the idea of people coming on each other, although I hate the traditional porn style man-comes-on-woman’s face. I’d like to make my girlfriend ejaculate all over me.

25. I want sex more frequently than my girlfriend. If she bites when we make out, then I know it’s on.

2011-10-27T22:13:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 29 year old female biologically, though I identify as genderqueer. I am not butch, or femme, but rather I dance all over gender lines whenever I feel like it and therefore think queer is the best term.

2. I was molested by two different people growing up. One was a boy who lived downstairs from me when I was eight. The other was a man who moved in with my mother and me when I was eleven. I can forgive the boy. I think he was hurt by someone, and he was only twelve. I can never forgive the man. I made a secret account on Facebook of a girl who was seriously underage and looked him up to see if he was still a pervert. He made a big show of saying how we couldn't talk like that "officially" and how that shit always got him in trouble. I'll never forgive him.

3. I first consented to sex when I was fifteen. I didn't have an orgasm during sex until I was twenty-three. I spent eight years thinking I was broken. I still have only had one orgasm during sex when I wasn't on top.

4. My sexual fantasies often feature incest, abuse, or molestation scenarios. I used to hate myself for that and think I must have wanted it. I have since read a lot of shit that says that's the healthiest way for a mind to cope with that level of abuse. I often read very depraved stories, but I always look for sites with disclaimers about how it's all fiction. Anything else turns my stomach.

5. I often fantasize about having a penis. I bought a sex toy that seats inside with one end and protrudes like an attached cock, and I love it. Sometimes I jerk it off until I come with the base of it mashing my clit.

6. My first boyfriend would routinely ask me, before giving oral sex, if I'd taken a shower that day, and if I had taken one recently enough. Since then I've never really gotten over it. I don't much like receiving oral sex. It induces too much anxiety about taste and smell, and only one or two boyfriends have ever overcome it enough to make it comfortable.

7. I hate sleeping in a bed with someone about 90% of the time. Every once in a long time it's okay, but I often have nightmares or freak out about someone touching me in my sleep due to the early shit in my life.

8. I find the notion of impregnation to be incredibly sensual and hot, but actually tend to fantasize about it from the male perspective.

9. I hate the smell of semen leaking out of me. It smells horrible, far worse than coming out of a penis, and far worse than I ever smell. I resent that men think that smell is a woman's fault. It's theirs.

10. When someone says the word, "rape," I tense up. It's not because I'm experiencing flashbacks or starting to freak out. It's because I don't want them to know my secrets and I'm afraid they can tell. Sometimes it's because they're using the word so casually that I get nauseous.

11. Almost all of my sex life is online with someone I love. I don't have healthy sexual relationships. I tend to be really sexual for a few months. Then something happens and we don't have sex for a while. Then they bring it up in an accusing way, and I never want to touch them again.

12. I once masturbated in the pew of a church. Just to be perverse. It was during a service.

13. I love gay erotic photos. I'm not very fond of gonzo, super tan, daddy spank twink type porn. I like the realistic ones that are actual couples, and not airbrushed. I especially love nudes of men that look vulnerable or ecstatic.

14. I have come to the understanding that with my genderqueer outlook, there are some men I am attracted to, and some men I admire and want to be like. Too often, I date people I admire and want to be like instead of people I'm attracted to. It's hardest to tell with men, because I'm not a man. With women I can tell better. I can relate what I wish I could look like, and realize I just admire her like a portrait or a sculpture. With men it's more dangerous. I've nearly married a man who I wasn't attracted to.

15. My first sexual experience was not the molestation. Or rather, it happened right around then. I messed around playing doctor with a young boy my age. It was probably the only thing that saved me from thinking sex was a vile abusive world of shit. I gave my first blowjob around that age, though it wasn't very extensive.

16. I was once incredibly impressionable and would do things like grow my hair out and wear it long for years because cute guys told me it would look hot. Funny, none of them ever wanted me when it was long. I was still some annoying idiot to them or something, and then I was apparently a moron too. I no longer care, and often stubbornly choose my own way even when I might've compromised before.

17. I have dealbreakers when I date someone I'm attracted to. People say you have to compromise. But there are things I don't compromise on anymore. Gay marriage should be a right, oral sex on women is not "gross," no one gets to tell me to shave my legs but me, and my gender is still paid 30% less than men and that sucks.

18. I'm polyamorous. That's by choice, because I don't want to be solely responsible for one person's sexuality. I shouldn't be anyway. It bothers me that many men and some women think that once you're in a relationship, they're "owed" release regularly in order to stay in a relationship. So I'm poly, because if he/she can get it somewhere else, I can tell them no. It's a poor substitute for actual sexual rights and agency, but it works.

19. I have been in threesomes with 8 different couples. This came mostly from being "the bi open chick" in a social circle. Of all of those couples, only one couple ever made me feel welcome and loved for who I was. I still sleep with them sometimes, 7 years later. I don't even see any of the other couples, but none of them are still together. I think there's some link there.

20. I have a refractory period. Boasting assholes inevitably say, "Oh, I could make you multiple orgasm!" and I tend to say, "You could try, and I'd kick you in the face." My pussy gets too sensitive to touch for about five minutes after I come, and only something inside it is okay, not something on my clit. It takes about ten minutes all told to be able to start working on an orgasm again, minimum. Usually I need a lot more stimulation. I have never come more than once in one 'session' with a partner, ever.

21. I have had the most mindblowing sex of my life by pretending to be asleep in a planned out scene with someone I trusted. It wasn't planned in advance - just an idea we had on the spot. We often roleplayed incest or sleep abuse. I usually came incredibly hard.

22. I like semi-soft penises. The feeling of the softer skin curling and pushing into me as I rock and squeeze makes me come like nothing else. I often come after the guy because they let me keep riding them.

23. I first masturbated when I was five. I didn't know I was masturbating. I would put things in my pants and rock on the floor alone in my room.

24. I'm really good at giving head. Men or women. While I have had bad experiences with smell or taste, I never, ever say a word. My own experience tells me they'll never recover from it.

25. I don't shave my legs unless I feel like it, and any man who doesn't like that can go fuck himself. He sure won't be fucking me.

2011-10-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 27 year old cisgender female. I’m a virgin.

2. I have fallen in love a few times, but the moment I try to imagine anyone in a sexual way, my brain shuts off and with it goes my attraction.

3. Over the past year I’ve realized that I am asexual, and I only feel comfortable with that label because I know that I’m not straight or gay.

4. Everyone thinks I’m a lesbian, especially my lesbian friends. A few have hinted that they’re waiting for me to come out. When I told one of them that I was asexual, hoping for solidarity, she paused and said, “Just stick with ‘queer.’”

5. I don’t feel that anything is missing from my life because I don’t have sex. I don’t feel like a social outcast, though other people seem to think I must be.

6. I’ve kissed/slightly made out with three men, all technically boyfriends. All three tried to take things further, and thankfully, all three stopped when I told them I wasn’t comfortable. I liked kissing, and them, very much but did not feel the need to move beyond that. As a result, I think I was thought of as a tease. I wish I could have explained to them what I know now. I haven’t been kissed in six years. Strangely, two of those three men went on to experiment with their gender and their sexual orientation and told me that it was my encouragement of their feminine sides that helped them to do so.

7. I fell in love with a married man. He doesn’t know that I’m asexual. When I told him that I thought my feelings for him were inappropriate, he told me that he is in an open marriage. We live in different countries but met in person, corresponding regularly in between the times we saw each other in person. He told me about his open marriage via anonymous email, which made me doubt the truthfulness of it. It was a year ago and I was so stunned that I never wrote back. We never talk about ourselves now, because I don't like knowing that he's "allowed" to have feelings for me. I worry about what would happen if I saw him again.

8. Four different married men, not including the one from #7, have told me that if they weren’t married they would want to be in a relationship with me. All of them were friends, and I felt very embarrassed by their admissions. I don’t know why I attract married men.

9. I’m physically disabled. I feel that this has no bearing whatsoever on my sexuality, but I know that most people wouldn’t agree. When I told my mother that I was asexual, she said, “That makes sense to me. I think it’s because of your intelligence.” I don’t think there’s a correlation, but her reaction made me happy. I haven’t told anyone else in my family, nor do I see a reason to.

10. When I find myself attracted to someone in a physical way, it’s always in an aesthetically evaluative way and is usually limited to their face and the overall balance of their bodies. Beautiful people to me are like works of art – I’d never want to have sex with a sculpture.

11. I literally have no concept of what it means for someone to have a “nice ass” or “nice tits”. Whenever my friends start talking about those things I just laugh. I’ve never checked out anyone’s ass before, and boobs are boobs to me.

12. I masturbate, but the need to do so feels entirely biological, there’s not really anything that triggers it. I don’t really think of anything, just go until I orgasm. I love the feeling, but it’s not anything that leaves me wishing for a partner. It just is.

13. I have nothing against dating, but I think there is an inherent sexual expectation built into it, so I avoid it. I wouldn’t be opposed to dating a woman, but women who don’t have an interest in sex are just as hard to find as men who don’t have an interest in sex. One of my friends has repeatedly asked me out, and I have repeatedly turned him down. I’m afraid that if I tell him, “I don’t have sexual feelings for people” he would think I was bullshitting him. Instead, I just tell him that I don’t date anyone, which isn’t a lie.

14. I fall in love regularly with people I will never meet, either because they are famous or because they’re dead and famous. I learn all that I can about them but would probably never say a word to them if I saw them in person.

15. Most of my family assumes that no one is interested in me sexually, and not that it's the other way around.

16. My female friends all come to me for sexual and relationship advice. None of them know that I’ve never had sex, but they still love my advice. Surprisingly, many of them tell me that they wish they could be as “strong” as I am, and not have to be in a relationship.

17. Contrary to what people might think, it doesn’t gross me out that other people have sex. People can have sex all day long, it’s just not something I want or need in my own life.

18. I get hit on quite often by women, but I never know how to respond. My biggest worry when it comes to dodging flirtations is inadvertently leading someone on.

19. Four years before one of my friends discovered that she was bisexual, I remembered lying on the floor with her with the distinct feeling that she wanted to make a move. When she told me recently that she was attracted to women, I told her that I had always known, but didn’t tell her why.

20. I’ve come out to very few friends, but one of them was a lesbian. I was staying with her overnight and her bed was big enough that I felt we could share it and stay out of each other’s way. I didn’t think that just because she was gay that it would mean she’d want to try something with me, any more than I would suspect it of any of my other friends. An hour later, I came back into her room after going to the bathroom and found her lying in bed in her underwear. She asked me if I was bothered by it and I wasn’t. When we woke up the next morning she told me I was the only person she had ever shared a bed with who didn’t annoy her.

21. I know that there are other asexual people in the world, but I don’t feel like I need to actively look for them. I feel, for some reason, that if I met anyone else who was, I’d suspect them of lying. I don’t know what makes me feel so suspicious because that’s not my nature at all, but I hate it.

22. In spite of being both disabled and asexual, I don’t hate my body or find myself unattractive. For some reason, this too surprises people.

23. I have watched porn before, because I wanted to see what the big deal was. It all seems so fake to me that I can’t possibly imagine how people feel anything at all from it. That said, I feel very uncomfortable watching movies with sex scenes in them if there are other people in the room.

24. I am not embarrassed by/of being naked in front of other people, nor does other people's nudity embarrass me. I feel that sexual perception varies for each person, and that there is nothing inherently sexual written into the naked form.

25. In spite of my own asexuality, I am frustrated by everyone's need to find the place where they belong, sexually. I wish that everyone could just accept their feelings for what they are, and join up with others who share the same feelings. I wish we had a world without labels, but maybe that's just because I feel alienated from all sexual communities. I read through many posts here before deciding to submit my own, and I just hope that everyone learns to love themselves.

2011-10-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

Administrative note: We're back! Did you miss us? Sorry to have been absent--long story. We've got a little backlog to get through, but now would be an excellent time to send us your list if you haven't yet.

2011-10-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

1. I’m a nearly 20-year-old, mostly straight female who has had 3 sexual partners and has masturbated daily for the last 10 years.

2. My first sexual partner, N, was during my first year at university and he was a random guy who looked at me funny in an elevator. We had sex every day, three times a day for an entire month. Because of him, I don’t have an awful “first time” story to tell. He made sure I came 4 or 5 times every time we had sex and always made me feel sexy. I ended things because I got bored with his penchant for vanilla sex.

3. My second sexual partner, B, was a 26-year-old guy I met outside of a bar. I was sitting on the curb, recently kicked out and stinking drunk, and he was standing about 10 yards away from me yelling at a homeless man. He stopped what he was doing, looked at me, and said, “You have the biggest tits I have ever seen and a pretty face. I’d like to get to know you.” We had sex for 10 months, a couple of times a week. The sex was amazing (see: AMAZING) and strings-free, but I developed feelings and he didn’t. Things ended officially, but I get texts about once a week begging for one more chance.

4. The last time I had sex with B, I gave him a 45 minute rim job and prostate massage (his first--most likely something to do with his macho hockey player personality). He had a prostate orgasm, where his cock leaked cum and he came for what felt like an hour. He proceeded to propose to me and tell me about how great it was. He didn’t remember it the next morning because he was so fucked up on MDMA. His loss. It felt awesome to do.

5. The first blowjob I ever gave was when I was 15. Three friends of mine came over to my house after school (two male, one female) and we coupled off and gave the boys head. At one point, us two girls were going down on one guy at once. I don’t regret the experience; I just regret my choice of partners. I don’t talk to any of them anymore.

6. I used to play sadistic role-playing games with my dolls as a child. My best friend and I would create elaborate sexual circumstances for our dolls. For instance, I have a vivid memory of a kinky Cinderella gone wild storyline. A young girl was forced to clean and serve her sisters and mother while naked, and they then watched and orchestrated as she had sex with the male dolls. We then recreated these games in real life. My only memory of this is standing on a stool in the middle of my bedroom, completely naked, spinning in a circle while my best friend laughed and told me to bend over. It doesn’t turn me on to think about now, but the grown up, depersonalized version is the subject of many of my masturbatory fantasies.

7. I think my rape fetish is the most taboo aspect of my sexuality. Relinquishing control has always been a sexy thing to me, but the idea of being hurt and violated in that way is something that turns me on more than anything. Sometimes I wonder how I would react if I were to be genuinely raped. Part of me thinks it would be different because I wouldn’t actually want it, but a quieter (yet larger) part of me thinks I would enjoy it because a major part of my fetish is the “not enjoying it” part.

8. As a curvier girl I have my fair share of qualms about my body, but I’ve never found them to inhibit me while having sex. Granted, I’ve never been with a self-proclaimed “BBW lover”, so that’s something I would love to experience. That way, I can leave my trusty black tank top on the floor (usually worn around my waist for camouflage) and have my tummy rubbed and kissed.

9. I masturbate daily. At least. I have been known to take the day off of school or work to lie in bed and make myself come 15 or 20 times in a day. I go through orgasm withdrawals in the form of migraines if I go several days without coming. Nothing makes me feel better than a good rub-off.

10. I have never had a man give me an orgasm of his own accord, but I have multiple orgasms during sex. I know the majority of sex is good communication, but I compare my masturbation practices to that of the male “death grip” problem. I push and rub and make such fast circles on and around my clit that it’s incredibly hard for a man to recreate. I have to mentally push myself to come, or use my hands to help him out. My favorite way to come is with a cock in my ass, a vibrator in my pussy and my fingers rubbing my clit hard and fast.

11. I am a selfless and shamelessly open-minded lover. I love whatever who I’m with loves. If I am with a guy who loves incest, then I will dress up like his sister and answer only to her name. If I am with a guy who loves being in control, I will wear a butt plug all day at work or school. My personal fetishes and turn-ons are put to the back burner in favor of the fetishes and turn-ons of whomever I’m with.

12. I have recently started dating a guy that I slept with about 6 months ago. When I get my hands on him this weekend, it will be the first time I have sex with a boyfriend. I’ll call him J, and he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.

13. My biggest fear is ending up in a sexless marriage. I have watched my parents stop being affectionate. The impact it’s had on their relationship fucking terrifies me. I refuse to be that woman on Dr. Phil crying about how she hasn’t had sex with her husband in 20 years.

14. I have a cum fetish. I love the smell of it, the taste of it, the feel of it… everything. I love everything from facials, creampies, swallowing and tit glazing. Pre-cum is also one of my favorite parts to foreplay – running my thumb over a slippery head and then licking it clean. Nom.

15. Sex is pretty much the only thing I think about. Every person I meet, regardless of my relationship to them, I think about them having sex. I think about them naked. Occasionally, I think about having sex with them myself. My imagination runs wild with different positions, role-play scenarios and techniques every day. If I have a date in the evening and class or work during the day, my productivity becomes virtually zero because I am so preoccupied with thinking about all of the naughty things I plan on doing.

16. Giving blowjobs is an art form. From start to finish, I refuse to settle for giving lame or unsatisfying head. I do my homework on the guy in advance, usually through sexting, to find out what he likes and doesn’t like. This way, when I start to go down, I can surprise him with little tricks and techniques that cater to his fancy. I have always been a blowjob fanatic, often opting to give head more frequently than anything else. What turns me on the most is the reaction from the guy – whether its feeling his thighs tighten under my hands, or his balls shift slightly up as my tongue runs over them, or a little gasp when I run my tongue over his frenulum. Eek. I actually have a lady boner typing this.

17. Other than my big sexy brain, my tits are my favorite part of my body. My first bra was a 34B in Grade 5, a 36C in Grade 6 and by Grade 8 graduation I was a DD. By the time I graduated high school and to this day, I am a 38G. They are awesome. No other way to say it. They balance my body shape, are super sensitive and look fucking fantastic in a v-neck.

18. I said that I’m “mostly” straight because all of my intimate relationships (both emotionally and sexually) have been with men. That being said, a portion of my favorite sexual fantasies are reserved for girl-on-girl encounters. I love the idea of going down on a girl and having her go down on me. I am also supremely excited for my first FFM threesome that I plan on having with my boyfriend and an unspecified lady at some point this year.

19. Anal. How I love thee. Butt play is one of my favorite things, even better when it’s mutual! I love tongues, fingers, cocks and toys in my butt and I love doing the same to whomever I’m with.

20. My favourite sex position is a toss-up between missionary (it doesn’t have to be boring!) and standing doggy style. I’ve recently developed a penchant for riding cock, but it isn’t something I’m ready to call my favourite yet. Being on my back with my legs spread wide and being pounded so my tits shake is enough to send me over the edge. Standing doggy style is just plain fun. I can be bent over touching my toes, bent over a desk at 90 degrees, or have my back pressed up against his chest. I like the versatility of it, and I like the way cocks feel inside of me in this position.

21. I really enjoy rough sex. Not rough sex like a bit of spanking and a bit of hair pulling, but rough sex like being kicked in the face and slapped on the tits while I have a cock being shoved into my ass using only spit. I want to be called names that you wouldn’t say to your worst enemy. I want to be left cowering, covered in tears and welts, feeling worthless with a load of cum in my hair when he’s finished with me. Granted, about 5 minutes after that, I want to be cuddled and kissed and be fed Pop-Tarts in bed by my lover. I’m a complex creature.

22. My dad is a Howard Stern fan. Stern’s book "Miss America" has been on the bookshelf in my basement since I was 6 or 7. I’ve always been a reader and I’ve always been fascinated by sex, so when I started reading “Miss America” when I was about 9, it was definitely an interesting experience. Looking back, being turned on by a story of Howard Stern masturbating to a random woman having cybersex with him is a little less than erotic. However, my 9-year-old self used those conversation exchanges as spank bank material for the better part of a year. My mother had a little chat with me when she found the book opened to the pictures of naked girls hanging from barn walls in chains under my pillow.

23. Speaking of my parents, their attitudes towards sex are like black and white. My mom is open and honest (albeit a vanilla prude) and my father is silent and asexual, as far as I’m concerned. My mom has always been open about the physiology of sex and has been a strong advocate of having sex for your own reasons and not giving into societal pressures. She’s never shamed me for my views or openness about sex. My father, on the other hand, told me that a hooker is a woman who hooks rugs and referred me to my mother in a kerfuffle when I asked him what Viagra was.

24. For sexual preferences, I like my men to be beefy. There is nothing wrong with skinny guys (I don’t necessarily discriminate) but my favorite is a thick man with strong arms and a barrel chest. When I’m with a guy, I don’t want to feel like I’m going to break him when I climb on top of him and ride him raw.

25. I’ve got a huge sexual bucket list. I will try anything once (with the exception of my list of limits – including vomit, poop, needle suspension, raping babies, and anal fisting). If my partner is really into it, I’m more than willing to try it more than once!

2011-08-23T23:08:00.000-07:00

1. I'm nearly 23, and I've never kissed anyone, much less had sex. I don't regret it, usually.

2. I'm horny all the time. If you were to look inside my head at random points throughout the day, you'd probably find something sex-related 9 times out of 10, and my underclothes are generally wet by the time I've had them on for five minutes, sometimes ten.

3. Call it a curse or a blessing – I usually call it a blessing – but I got extraordinarily sensitive senses of touch and taste from Mom's side of the family. This means that a lot of casual, innocent touches feel really good, and some foods are practically orgasmic. My friends laugh at the faces I make: even though they know, technically, that I'm a hypertaster, they don't quite understand what that means on an every-day basis. Oh well: while they're laughing, I'm shivering from a really good glass of port. Their loss!

4. This is probably related back to the general state of horniness, but I masturbate a lot. Mostly at night, because I work during the day with kids and getting myself off in the bathroom there would feel extraordinarily wrong, but days off, too.

5. Some nights I don't get myself off, but that's usually a lack of motivation, not a lack of desire. I just can't seem to do anything, times like that; it's hard to make myself get up to use the restroom, much less masturbate. Those are pretty much the only times I regret not being sexually active; I'd love to have a partner then who'd pamper me, do the work of pleasuring us both while I lay back.

6. By now I'm calling myself more or less pansexual. I like men, I like women, I like everything in between, and if we ran into aliens tomorrow – well, I'd probably be fine with that too. I'm comfortable with this, but some of the questions I get irritate me. (Yes, I'm pansexual. No, that doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone and everything I see any more than heterosexual makes you attracted to everyone of the opposite sex.)

7. While I'm comfortable with being pansexual, I haven't told most of my family, much less my church. The overwhelming reactions would fall into one of two categories: OMG, where did we go wrong?!, tempered with, relax, she's just doing it for attention, it's not like zie dates anyways, zie'll settle down with a nice young person eventually. A few more would jump on me and try to use me as a political tool, thanks to the current splits in my denomination. I'm heavily involved in my church – I'm a deacon, working with missions and youth and etc., my dad's the pastor – and I have no desire to upset the status quo that badly. Revelations can wait until I'm in a different area and can tell people before ever joining a new congregation – things are just easier that way.

8. There are only three people I really worry about telling, outside of church politics: my mom, one of my brothers, and one of my sisters. My mom likely won't let me anywhere near my younger sibs again until they all turn 18, when I tell her. My brother will disown me. My sister will spend the next few decades praying for my soul and refusing to allow me near any children she might have. My other siblings won't care, and will probably try to hook me up with more people.

9. I consider my dad to be a trade-off for my extraordinarily bigoted grandparents and cousins (who will never speak to me again after I officially come out. This will actually be a positive side-effect of the whole deal). He's awesome – he's known for a few years, and doesn't spread it about at my request. He'll point out pretty people of either gender to ask my opinion, and his only real stake in the entire issue is to make sure that I'm happy, whomever I end up with; he doesn't fuss so much about the casing, or even things like poly relationships, though he's uncomfortable with poly and not allowed to publicly condone it anyway because of his job.

10. Which, speaking of, I might be. I don't really know. The idea of poly relationships appeals to me very strongly. That's not to say that I dislike the idea of monogamy; I just think that in some cases, multiple partners might be worth the extra work done to keep the relationship(s) stable. I've never had a chance to test that, though.

11. My biological sex and assigned gender are female and woman; I'm told that most of my neurological wiring is coded male. I don't identify with a set gender, either masculine or feminine, but don't really consider myself to be androgynous, either. Sometimes I dress feminine; sometimes I dress masculine; most often I dress in whatever I feel like at that moment. If I put my hair up right I have no problem passing for a man, on the days when I don't want to be a woman. I've been told that I would be a good candidate for gender reassignment surgery, but I don't really see the point in it. Sure, I'm not a “woman”, but that doesn't mean I'm a “man” – I don't care for either of those labels.

12. I love long hair, especially when it's taken care of and at least down to the butt. The sex/gender of the person with said hair is generally less relevant than the hair itself – 6'4'' and strapping muscles, 5'0'' and petite, doesn't matter, I'm going to enjoy looking at the hair.

13. I've had two romantic relationships, both with my best friends at the time. The first one, S., lasted from about 13 to 19. He was tall, a few months younger than I was, romantic, and quite smart. Things started going sour the last six months of our relationship, to the point where I didn't recognize him any more, but it still hurt when we broke up – he'd been my best friend for eight years, and I'd had no idea what had happened to change things. The second time, I was 21 and dating a woman, M., with whom I'd been good friends for two or three years. It was a giddy summertime romance that lasted into the fall. That October, the day I was supposed to tell my dad about the two of us, she told me via email that we couldn't be together any more because God disapproved of gays and besides, she didn't want to tell her family, ever. She hooked up with my ex S. a couple weeks later. I haven't had a relationship since then, mostly because this area is absurdly conservative: the women are generally appalled at any hint of lesbian interests, the men buy into neo-McCarthian gender roles, and the religious right disapprove of it all. I'm looking forward to moving someplace more accepting.

14. I don't care much for visual porn, but I've been reading erotica since I was eleven – first in science fiction novels, then fanfiction. Oddly enough, I didn't start writing it until I was nineteen, and I still don't write much of it.

15. There were a number of years where I claimed to hate romance novels, romance-centered fanfiction, and the like. Over time I've come to realize that that's not quite the case. It's not that I hate romance, or relationships, or erotica. Rather, I hated the entrenched gender-roles present in popular romance novels, movies, fanfiction, etc. Nowadays I read slash or queer fiction if I'm looking for something with romance, and otherwise stick to novels that contain het relationships, if at all, only as a very minor subplot... I go through a lot of science fiction that way.

16. While I don't care for visual porn, I do like looking at people. “Like” may be the wrong word, though – it's more reflexive than anything else, and my tastes tend to run all over the place. Suffice to say that if a person looks legal and under 70-ish, I'm probably admiring zem. Not always – there are a few people who just don't trigger that, for whatever reason – but far more often than not. I try to be discreet about it; I think mostly I succeed.

17. I don't have many body issues, and virtually no sense of body-shame or modesty. Skin is skin, whether you're two or twenty or fifty or eighty, and clothing is generally restrictive and uncomfortable. Nudity neither bothers nor titillates me, whether my own or someone else's. This lack of reaction, however, does bother my siblings and mother, as well as more conservative acquaintances.

18. I said I don't have many body issues, and that's true. But I would love to be 5'10'' instead of 5'6'', and I would really, really love to get rid of my female-based reproductive cycle. I like my vagina just fine, but I hate the hormones, and the thought of ever being pregnant absolutely appalls me. Sure, I'd like to have kids – but I never, never, never want to be pregnant. Ever. I'd be okay with flattening out my breasts, but I'm also okay with them remaining small; bras just bug me, and sometimes having breasts is irritating because they serve as gender-coded symbols.

19. M. and I never kissed or had sex, but we did a lot of cuddling, some petting, and quite a bit of mild pain-play (mostly because anything more would've led places neither of us, especially she, was quite ready for). I have a definite appreciation for certain types of pain. Scratching and spanking are great, but pinching isn't. Biting turns me on incredibly quickly: I go melty, submissive, and nonvocal faster than you can say masochist. Pressing or scratching into bruises gets nearly the same reaction, and blades make me shivery in the good sort of way.

20. I played with my ass quite a bit as a kid, left it more or less alone in junior high, and discovered it again towards the end of high school, with explosive results. Vaginal penetration feels good, sure, but anal feels so much more intense. I will never understand how people can dislike the sensation; it's easier for me to reach orgasm with anal play than with vaginal, and I almost never come without at least a little of it. Mostly I like deep penetration there, and preferably girth, too, but every once in a while it's enough to tease around and just inside of the rim. Sometimes I envy male-bodied individuals their prostates; I bet anal play would be even more intense then.

21. That envy never goes too far, but only because I then remember that vaginas mean the potential for double penetration, which is fantastic and tends to lead to amazing orgasms when I take the time for it.

22. For all the cliches about Christians, repressed sexuality, and guilt complexes, I really don't care that much about virginity – my own, to be specific. I don't attach any special value to it, and I'm not trying to preserve it. It's just that, while I like to look at people, I'm not remotely interested in casual sex. Some psychologists would classify me as borderline paranoid, especially when it comes to touch, so I'm not comfortable even with most of my friends touching me; also, while I don't put a huge premium on monogamy or virginity, I do on fidelity. Short-term relationships just aren't my style. If S. and I had stayed together once he hit college, we might have; M. and I weren't together long enough for it to be an issue. So while I do have my V-card, it's in a rather incidental sort of way.

23. I hear a lot of talk about G-spots. I've never managed to find mine. Every once in a while I explore for it. Then, when I fail to find it, I shrug philosophically: does it matter, when a vibe up my ass and finger on my clit's enough to send me thrashing and blank-eyed anyways?

24. I don't understand jealousy. I've never had problems with it, and jealous partners just tend to annoy me. Fidelity's a must for me, but that doesn't mean monogamy: instead, it means talking about things, and not going beyond what we agree on. Whether we agree to casual hookups, or poly relationships, or swinging, or monogamy, I expect both of us to follow the tenets of said agreement, and to put each other as first priority. And with that in mind, I have no issues with jealousy, because either zie'll follow those, and all's well, or zie won't, and we'll break up. Likewise, I'll follow them, because that's just the way I roll – so a partner getting jealous might as well be saying that I'm not trustworthy to follow through, which angers me.

25. Probably thanks to my early explorations of the internet and fandom culture, there's not much out there that can shock me any more. At this point, as long as it falls under RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), I probably won't bat an eyelash. There are, however, a whole lot of things I look forward to exploring. After all, I am 22, almost 23.

2011-08-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 24-year-old cisgendered, heteroromantic, mostly heterosexual woman.

2. I say heteroromantic because I've only ever had, and only ever wanted to have, relations with men.

3. However, I have had girl-crushes in the past, and I've been a little bit in love with my female bisexual housemate for at least 7 years.

4. I am not a virgin. I lost my virginity at age 18 to a man 15 years my senior who I met in a club the night before. It was spectacularly bad (and unprotected, and in public).

5. When I was a child, the kids on my street used to play at sex like some kids play doctor. Before the age of 8, I had had three different (flaccid, prepubescent) cocks in my vagina.

6. I was caught with the third boy, something that was highly traumatic to my child-self and put me off sex, sexiness, and sexual thoughts through all my teens. I think I'm only just getting over it now.

7. Having said that, most of my sexual knowledge comes from fanfic, which I discovered when I was 10 (explicit threesome lifestyle-BDSM fic).

8. I've had [not exactly gentle] sex on a grand total of 3 occasions in my life, with three separate men, yet I still have a hymen. This complicates further attempts at vaginal intercourse, as I know exactly how much it's going to hurt, and how much I'll bleed afterwards.

9. Last year on holiday I sucked a man's cock for the first time. It was totally awesome and I would love to do it again. I believe the official term is "oral fixation," as I like kissing a lot too.

10. My boobs are sort of erogenous dead zones, but I'm pretty damn sure I'd love anal sex.

11. I like masturbating, though I'm not very adventurous about it - it's like scrolling the wheel on a PC mouse. Sometimes it's only a sleep aid.

12. All of my masturbatory fantasies are about consent and power play. E.g. I'm a student and my teacher makes me come over and over whether I like it or not.

13. I'm fairly sure I wouldn't like such power/consent play in real life, but I think I'd be open to experimentation.

14. This is because, although I am quite a tactile person, prone to a degree of touch starvation as an adult, I am also very particular about being touched - especially by men. I like my personal space, and only want it breached upon invitation. It unnerves me when people don't ask.

15. I've toyed with the idea of prostitution, what with being grossly in debt. A part of me would be flattered by the attention, but I think a greater part of me would resent the loss of choice. The rest of me would be consumed by guilt.

16. Having taken part in an orgy makes me sound a lot more sexually experienced than I am for drinking games like "I've Never".

17. For a long while I thought I wanted a boyfriend. I've never had one before. But I've come to the recent realization that I want sex more.

18. To that end, I'm going to join a local swinger/sex club for my birthday. I think I'd like someone to go down on me for the first time there.

19. Everyone seems so enamored of this meeting-and-falling-in-love malarkey. I am fundamentally lazy, however. I would much rather skip the awkward beginning to the comfortable, familiar relationship.

20. I want kids. I sometimes wonder (when the crush on the housemate is particularly strong) if this desire is an assimilated behavior. Is my heteronormativity learned?

21. But for all my talk of heteronormativity, I do sometimes cross the line of genderqueer. I prefer my hair butch-short. I don't wear make-up or dresses (with some exceptions). I have occasionally presented myself as lesbian in the past.

22. My body also fails at performing its gender sometimes. I have hair on my boobs. I have to shave my beard (thanks to PCOS). I am almost excessively hairy everywhere. It's difficult coming to terms with that in this society.

23. Blogs like sexisnottheenemy are great and I love them. However, I can feel alienated by the pictures of pierced/tattooed/mohawk-ed individuals on there, because in that regard I am very vanilla. As I present as a conservative cisgender female, it seems I'm less likely to mingle amongst people who are so open about sex.

24. Things I find most attractive about the male body (in order): arms and shoulders, lips, ass, cocks, eyes.

25. I've never come with another person before. I'd like that to change before I'm 30.

2011-08-21T22:56:00.000-07:00

1. The first time I had sex was when I was 17. It was with a prostitute--"escort"--who was probably fifteen or twenty years older than me. I found her online. I am nearly nineteen now and that is still the only instance where I have had sex.

2. When I arrived at her small apartment, she had already been drinking a bit even though it was only 3 in the afternoon, which probably helped me convince her I really was a college student, and she was bad at math so when she looked at my ID she didn’t realize I was under 18. My God, does that sound awful. Oh well, it’s true.

3. After a bit of small talk and a couple “you're not a cop, right” questions, she suggested we go upstairs. I got naked on the bed and she stripped to her underwear and proceeded to go down on me. After about ten minutes I stopped her and went enthusiastically down on her, until even she stopped acting like she enjoyed it. Actual penetrative intercourse happened next. It started and ended in missionary and was over way too soon (five minutes would be generous). Despite having an extremely active libido 99% of the time, and usually being able to jerk off 3+ times in under an hour, I couldn’t get it up for another go.

4. It didn’t help that I felt an overwhelming feeling of shame and paranoia about STDs (even though I used a condom ) immediately afterwards. Also I had a running challenge with myself to see how long I could go without masturbating, which after a month of torture led me to paying a woman to take my virginity, and left me sexually exhausted.

5. Afterwards I realized I had also just paid a woman $140 to basically just masturbate inside of her. Not that I regret it though, really.

6. I masturbated to the experience twice six hours later. I still couldn’t believe it had actually just happened.

7. I’ve only dated three girls since eighth grade. The first was from my neighborhood, the second was a girl I met at a party, and the third went to my school two grades below me. None of the relationships have lasted longer than a month.

8. Partly this was because the school I went to was 45 minutes away from where I lived, and very small, which made it hard to hang out with friends after school and on weekends. And since I had gone there since I was in fourth grade, most of the friendships I had around the neighborhood sort of died off.

9. Mostly the relationships stopped because we had nothing in common with each other. I dated them because I was bored, lonely and horny, and they were cute. I think they were doing the same, but neither of us would end up having much in common. After a month we didn’t have much to talk about anymore.

10. This terrifies me, however, that all my future relationships will end up this way. I have met a few girls that I do have an instant connection with, and this does help to stem the fear a bit. On the positive side this fear is a motivating factor behind me trying to be a better person both physically (lifting weights) and mentally (actively trying to be more outgoing and more confident).

11. Moving on to other firsts, I first kissed a girl when I was 16. It was girl number two that I dated, at a party, and wonderful. A bit late, but that’s the story of my life, I suppose.

12. I first started to masturbate when I was twelve or thirteen. It happened the same way I found out about escorts--I stumbled across an internet article on the subject and got a butterfly/adrenaline rush in my stomach as I thought holy shit, I can actually do this.

13. I then spent a large amount of time researching techniques on how to jerk off, and jerking off. Oddly enough, internet porn never really came into the equation until later.

14. It actually probably took a month or two of steady practice before I was able to orgasm, and I started ejaculating soon after that.

15. Another first was the time I found two Penthouses under my older brother’s pillow instead of the Harry Potter book I had been looking for. What a revelation those magazines were. Before, I would try and make mental images of naked girls whenever I was lucky enough to watch an R-rated movie. I remember the full frontal scene from Life of Brian had me sexually frustrated (since I didn’t know about masturbating then) for weeks. When I found those magazines, I could finally study every part of the female anatomy in extremely explicit detail to my heart's content. I was in fifth grade at the time, and every time I looked at a girl from my class for a week following that I would see the pictures from Penthouse, which definitely freaked me out a bit.

16. I’ve always liked anal penetration. I remember soon after I started masturbating, I would be in the shower and alternate between stroking my cock and playing with the entrance to my asshole. I think my justification for exploring my asshole was that I wanted to feel how a girl feels being fucked.

17. I experimented with anal masturbation in full two years ago. I never found my P-Spot after a pretty long time exploring, but I did realize that orgasming with a finger in my ass does actually lead to a different orgasm. I also generally enjoyed the feeling and new sensations of having something in my ass.

18. I would like to be fucked by a woman with a strap-on. I think that is ridiculously hot.

19. Additionally, I would love to be in the middle of a MMF threesome. Being fucked by a real cock while simultaneously fucking, licking, or getting sucked off by a woman would be sexual heaven.

20. I’m not entirely sure where I would rate my sexuality. I do think men can be beautiful but they simply don’t have the gut punching effect as when I see a beautiful lady. And in my hornier moments I definitely wonder/fantasize about giving blowjobs, and receiving anal sex. But even then intimate things like kissing or swallowing tend to gross me out for some reason. I find it odd that I would love to have a cock in my ass but have no desire to kiss who that cock belongs to.

21. My preferred porn is erotica. Visually it tends to rotate between vanilla, prostitute, amateur porn, hardcore hentai (this is probably what I’m most ashamed of and I don’t really know why), and strap-on porn, usually in a random order.

22. I’ve also read The Multi-Orgasmic Man and attempted to become multi-orgasmic, but I usually lose interest in the exercises and stop trying after about a month. I do love having strong PC muscles though.

23. The college I’m going to attend has a tumblr where students can submit naked photos of themselves. I am considering submitting a photo of myself for some of the same reasons I am submitting this. Plus the thought helps keep me motivated for going to the gym and keeping things trimmed down there.

24. Because 25 things are surprisingly long, this one is kind of filler. There were four girls that sat in front of me during grammar my junior year, and one at least once a week always popped a thong. This destroyed any chance I had about learning grammar, and once I saw that it would be very difficult to tear my eyes away for the rest of the class. Since there were only 12 people in the class, it was probably painfully obvious to the teacher, but she never said anything. Random tangent: The teacher was arrested last year for dating and sexing up a fifteen-year-old like seven years ago. She was pretty good looking, too.

25. I don’t know how to say this without sounding like an asshole so I’m just going to say it: Assuming I’m not in a monogamous relationship, and if I have large amounts of cash to spare, I could see myself using prostitutes again in the future, even if I am getting regular sex from multiple partners. There is just something sexy about no-bullshit sort-of-sex sort-of-masturbation and being in the position to choose a girl exactly to what your sexual desires are at the moment, and acting on those desires when you feel like it.

2011-08-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

1. I am 31 years old and consider myself mostly straight.

2. I lost my virginity when I was 21. I've never really had a whole lot of luck with men.

3. I have made out with women before, and have been thinking more and more recently about having sex with a woman, but I don't necessarily consider myself bisexual.

4. I am an immigrant to this country, and I think that I identify strongly with gay people because of it. I really identify with their feelings of isolation and fear of discovery and being "outed," and draw a lot of parallels between growing up gay and growing up an immigrant. Homosexuality and transsexuality interest me; I campaigned for gay marriage in my state. I am extremely secure in my sexuality, but I am becoming more aware every day that it is not as black and white as I may have been raised to believe.

5. I was celibate for 4 years. At first unintentionally, and then on purpose. I know that the time I spent not having sex made me appreciate how I feel about sex and sexuality a lot more. I am more honest with myself about what sex means to me.

6. I have slept with 8 men in the last 10 years of my sexual activity. Two I considered boyfriends at the time, but ever only called one my boyfriend in public. Four were one-night stands. Four were friends with benefits. One was my best friend's boyfriend, whom I fucked while I was dating the only one I ever called my boyfriend. One was my best friend.

7. I had a mostly platonic relationship with a man. It made me realize that I was madly in love with him and I had a really fucked-up conception of love.

8. I have a hard time connecting sex with love.

9. I have a hard time connecting with people beyond sex.

10. Sex energizes me. I prefer to be on top. I like to be in control in bed as much as possible, and I prefer rough sex.

11. I have considered doing porn. I think that in this day and age, there is less stigma involved and more room to be who you want to be and still be seen as smart.

12. I don't know any new sex terminology. I don't really care.

13. I worry sometimes that I will never have a relationship beyond casual sex. I don't know what that makes me.

14. I was raised very religious, and my beliefs now contradict strongly with my upbringing. I am glad that I was able to overcome the church's narrow view of sex and sexuality, and never got brainwashed.

15. My sex drive fluctuates wildly. I can go long periods without thinking about it and then become insanely horny.

16. The best sex I have ever had was with a man I barely knew. He was 12 years older than me.

17. The man I am seeing now is much younger than me. I care about him, but I don't see our relationship going anywhere, and being with him makes me realize that I am ready for something serious. I feel like I may be too emotionally stunted to get it.

18. I saw porn for the first time when I was 7 or 8. It was a weird collage in my friend's attic. Looking back, I remember it now as a dusty framed poster of a collage someone made and hid in the attic. Looking back, that's insanely creepy.

19. I have three older sisters. We have only begun to talk about sex now that we are all in our thirties.

20. I don't remember having "the talk" with my mother, but I do remember her saying inappropriate things to me as a child that I am just getting as an adult. I find them funny, mostly.

21. I have never role-played in bed, but I have tried bondage. I would like to get into a relationship with someone who is very open sexually and with whom I can explore things.

22. I have only been in love with one person. We were extremely close for 10 years, and only had penetrative sex once. I was fiercely in love with him and he cared nothing about me. He just liked that I worshiped him.

23. I have never had sex with or even made out with anyone of my own race. I really, really want to.

24. I consider myself beautiful for the first time in my life. It has made me extremely selective.

25. My goal is to marry my soul-mate. I'm worried I'll never meet him.

2011-08-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 28-year-old female from the States.

2. The closest thing I have ever had to a relationship is with the married man I'm sleeping with. I don't feel guilty sleeping with him. He makes me feel wanted.

3. I don't like anal sex, and used to cry when someone tried, but am more willing to do it with him.

4. The first time I had sex I was drunk off of a bottle of Mad Dog. I don't remember any of it but waking up and crying because I didn't have pants on. When I put too much thought into that night, I end up resenting my friends for letting it happen.

5. Guy-on-guy anything is hot. I wish I knew more straight men who were more bi-curious.

6. I like sucking dick. I got my tongue pierced to make it more enjoyable, and he doesn't like it at all, so I have to take it out.

7. I have gone years without having sex with anyone, because everyone I was sleeping with made me feel used.

8. I have had a few threesomes. I didn't enjoy a girl going down on me as much as I enjoyed doing things to her.

9. I am overweight, and have no problem getting naked.

10. I like being held down and tied up, and I think it should happen more often.

11. I love kissing. Which is a big switch from the way I used to feel--before, I never used to kiss anybody I was sleeping with.

12. I masturbate between one and three times a week. I have a dildo but don't like it, so I just use my fingers on my clit.

13. I love being on top and knowing that he has to look at me if he's got his eyes open, but the way I get off the fastest is when I'm lying on my stomach and he enters me that way.

14. Pierced dicks are a good thing, but it also helps if you know what you are doing.

15. I am more physically attracted to guys who are confident, but end up falling in unreciprocated love with boys that are quiet guys.

16. I refuse to take off my socks during sex.

17. The first time I had a guy go down on me, I didn't enjoy it at all, and didn't let anyone go down on me for a long time. The first time my FWB went down on me I couldn't combine words to make a sentence to tell him how AMAZING it was.

20. Up until recently I have never stayed the night in a guy's bed without anything happening, and just being close was a bigger turn-on than I could have imagined.

21. I don't like having my hair grabbed when I am going down on a guy, but he's an exception.

22. I like sober sex more than drunk sex.

23. I haven't slept with anyone who lives in the same town as me in 7 years. I don't plan it that way. I swear.

24. I love arms. And I'm not saying they have to be well-defined or anything like that, but they should not be just fat!

25. Smiles and lips melt my heart.

2011-08-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 22-year-old woman who was born a woman and wishes to stay that way. In fact, I wish I was more of a woman.

2. I'm a virgin. I've never had sex with a man. I want to, very badly. I don't have extreme romantic fantasies about virginity and marriage. But I do have romantic notions about love. I want real love and serious commitment before I give it up. It doesn't have to last forever (in fact I highly doubt it will), but I have to feel loved and respected and a commitment. I've never felt that. Such a shame.

3. My sexuality isn't very simple. I am attracted to women too (of course) and have recently been feeling real feelings for a woman I work with. She is leaving soon and is in a very serious relationship, so I'll take that one to my grave. But my heart does race when I see her.

4. I had a pseudo-lesbian experience in middle school. I "talked" to a girl. Meaning we expressed our feelings for each other and pretended to pursue something. The whole school speculated about it and I'm somewhat traumatized that people were able to form opinions about my sexuality before I'd even sorted them out. I am also somewhat traumatized by the fact that my father and his wife confiscated many of the notes we exchanged. The fact that they read that stuff... I feel unbelievably violated.

5. Me and Number 4 almost kissed in the bathroom. There was a large build-up to this kiss. We were standing in the bathroom stalls at lunch. I grabbed her face and our lips touched for half a second before she pushed me off. She was pretty nervous too. I don't remember what happened exactly after that event but that was pretty much the end of that experiment. I never really felt anything that deep for her. Just a crush that caught me off guard, being as she was a girl.

6. When I was kindergarten-aged I had a sexual encounter with another girl spending the night at my house. We stripped down completely naked in my bed and started rubbing up against one another, kissing each other's naked bodies. I was very very young and rarely remember this occurrence. But it happened. I remember seeing body parts lit up by a TV screen. I also slightly remember what was on TV.

7. Number 3 is the first time I've seriously considered throwing caution to the wind with this whole girl thing. If she were available and wanted me I'd walk down the street holding her hand every day. Dodging spit, bullets, and conservatives along the way.

8. I have felt this way about men before. I guess if I absolutely had to choose, I'd choose men. In fact, with the exception of #3, I've never envisioned myself with a woman in a serious, long-term setting. So shout-outs to #3 for being that fucking irresistible. She has no clue how amazing I find her. Despite all of these feelings I have, it never seems to go anywhere. The people I'm attracted to are not attracted to me or are always unavailable. Maybe my standards are too high.

9. I started masturbating while I was 12 or 13. I believe this was before the middle-school lesbian stuff. I can't remember what I was thinking of that had me so turned on. But my pussy was screaming "find me!!!" And I did. I never stopped playing with myself. I do it very often. I feel very sorry for women that never masturbated. I'm also glad I started masturbating before I've had sex.

10. I watch a lot of porn. I've tried to look at almost everything. The thing that makes me uncomfortable is when it seems like the girl doesn't want to be there. Other than that, I'm not extra sensitive. My top 'get wet' porn categories are (in no particular order): women performing very sloppy and enthusiastic oral sex on a man, very passionate sex between a man and woman, girl eats girl, girl dominates girl, man dominates woman in very subtle way. I'm pretty literate in the issues surrounding porn. And don't worry, I don't expect real sex to be like porn. In fact I'm praying that real sex is actually... real. Which is the major ingredient missing from porn. Authenticity.

11. My feelings for men haven't got much wording on this list so far. I guess because in my head, homosexual tendencies seem a little bit more pertinent to discuss than hetero ones. Lately I've been delving more into my sexual and emotional attraction just to people in general. Masculinity definitely turns me on, in a man and a woman. A man's demeanor in the way he sits, walks, and listens is an amazing thing to witness. It's also rare to witness real masculinity that is subtle but still makes everyone uncomfortable. When I see that shit, I pretty much have to change my drawers. Both #3 and #4 are masculine appearing girls. Not in their physical looks because they both are very feminine physically (face and body type). Especially #3, who I wait for staff meetings just to sneak stares at her face. But they both dressed masculine and had the demeanor that you would usually see on a man.

12. I'm going to regret reading this several years down the line when I see I've included a specific person in many numbers on my list. So, future self: yes, you are pathetic, but... sex and attraction is a people's sport. It always has to be someone.

13. There are things from the past and present that I'm not disclosing on this list. I can't bring myself to.

14. I feel I will have very little inhibitions in trying to please my future lover (whoever he or she is). I want to be an amazing lover and I'll actually put in work to do so.

15. I've realized loving people is closely related to my self-esteem and my happiness. I don't love anyone and don't believe anyone loves me, so there that is.

16. Affection is definitely something I feel deprived of. But whenever anyone tries to display any affection towards me, I feel completely disgusted. I want to get up and run away, but I recognize that would be rude. People don't try that often. I think most people get the message that I don't want to be touched. And I don't want to be touched, because I hate feeling disgusting like that. But there are no words to describe how much I want to be held, and actually feel comforted and loved because of it.

17. My body disgusts me, and sometimes I come down from my love fantasy cloud and realize that no one will ever find me beautiful looking like this. And I'm not any of the things that people would (stereotypically) characterize as unattractive. But I see all my flaws and feel like they outweigh the good qualities by a ton. I hope God does not punish me. I know I should be grateful that my body functions and consider the plight of all that people out there with serious handicaps. I do know this, however, it makes no difference when I see myself naked in the mirror.

18. Oh yeah, I have a relationship with God. Which is the reason for my belief in what love is and the love I'm capable of giving. Clearly I need to learn to love myself first, but it's easier said than done. I don't believe God dislikes gay people. And not just because I'm obviously not straight but because I believe God is about that love. And love between anyone is great.

19. I wish there were a better segue into my next point but there isn't. I fantasize about giving a man the best oral sex he ever received in his life. I feel like giving head is a powerful act. You've committed to giving that other person pleasure but at the same time are in complete control. True leadership.

20. I stay pretty informed about the politics surrounding sex, and have very strong opinions about it. One I'd like to share: young girls are just as sexual as young boys and should be allowed to explore it. The shaming has created a generation of young girls that have sucked a dick before they've rubbed their own clit. That really sucks. I don't want my virginity to be misconstrued as some sort of duty or Christian obligations. It's my decision, based off what I want from my life. Everybody should make the decisions they feel is best for them.

21. I can't directly touch my vagina when I masturbate. I have to use a sock or a cloth in between my hand and clit. It just feels really weird to my hand. Also, my clit is too sensitive and the touch of my fingers is too much. I have put my fingers in, but want to save most of the fingering until after I get some dick.

23. I want children and family so very badly. But marriage means nothing to me. If I never get married I'm certain I'll die cold and lonely, except, you know... I won't.

24. One of the reasons I've never envisioned myself long-term with a woman is because I want children so badly. And one of the reasons I want children so badly is because I was abused by my mother when I was younger. I want to do right by them. Love them unconditionally.

25. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder when I was about 18 or 19. I remember being severely depressed at several points in my life. But the depression I experienced leading up to that diagnosis is indescribable. I feel stupid even writing it because my understanding of it is still inadequate. I will never be able to really love someone and trust them sexually if I'm not able to communicate and overcome that part of my life.

2011-08-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

1. I am 23 years old, a cisgendered straight woman and also a virgin.

2. About that virginity: I was not raised with any kind of a religious background. What shame I have about sex and my own body was handed down secondhand from my formerly Catholic mother who disliked my proclivity for touching myself when I was a child. Which is a thing I gave up on until fairly recently. I’m mostly just awkward as all hell, and have a regrettable tendency to get hung up on guys who are not interested in the least, while disregarding the affections of the ones who are or might be interested in me. They call it “avoidant attachment.” Ladies and gentlemen: My Life.

3. My family thinks I am a lesbian. If I was gay, I think this would be pretty great, because the way they tell me they think I am a lesbian is by hinting obliquely that they would be very supportive if I “had anything important to share about my life” and sighing when I try and explain that plaid flannel shirts are trendy now. As I am not a lesbian, it gets a little irritating, but I try to remember the closeted gay kids who would kill to have my supportive family.

4. I call myself a “knowledgeable virgin,” because I have done my best to be well researched and informed on sex. This is partly because graphic, clinical, joyfully enthusiastic, nerdy descriptions of sex, gender and evolution turn me on, partly because I have to be informed or I wouldn't be able to follow the conversations my friends have. I also feel that the stereotype of the blushing virgin is just not me, and inappropriate given my age and actual level of background horn-radiation.

5. Oh, the horniness. The problem with having a crush--and I seem to get crushes the way other people get chronic illnesses--is that I’ll have these full-body sensations of longing, like a hot sparkling hunger I can feel wash over me from my cunt to my joints and in my teeth and bones. I can’t control these “attacks” or when they happen, aside from that they seem to be triggered by the scent of the guy I am encrushed upon. But if I happen to get struck with one somewhere where I can get to myself, well...

6. I can have all of the orgasms.

7. I actually figured out how to make myself come last year, which seems super late, because it is. Before that, I guess I could get myself close by clenching my thighs together while sitting or by running (this is why I loved PE despite never, ever, having been in shape), but I don’t think I ever came.

8. I kind of made a project of it, really. I was all “OK, I am too old to not be having orgasms, the Orgasm Fairy is not going to come by with a little basket of them tied up in ribbons, time to give it a shot! Amateurishly lurid erotica? Check! Hand on clit? Check! Let’s do this! Time to figure out what feels good!” And then I checked Wikipedia afterwards to see if what I had just done was an actual orgasm.

9. I was surprised by the pelvic contractions. I do rather enjoy them.

10. My interest in sex has gone through the roof after this “discovery”, and I think so has my general level of background-horniness. The more orgasms I have the more I want to have. This particular feedback loop has lead to some very non-productive Saturdays. (And Tuesdays, and afternoons, nights, mornings--pretty much all of my alone-time, really.)

11. I can get myself over the cliff with just my hands and my imagination, but it’s much faster if I have something to read or with my little black bullet vibrator. I haven’t watched or looked at much porn, because it seems I get turned on by specific words or imagining the sensations being described. This could also be because all the porn I’ve seen so far has been terrible and not worth my time.

12. I will mutter and repeat specific words and phrases to myself when I don’t have any erotica to read. My masturbation is otherwise dead quiet.

13. I know a love spell. It is, in point of fact, the only love spell that works. It’s cross-cultural and will induce infatuation for an indeterminate time span up to four years in the subject to be be-spelled. I even know how and why it works, but I don’t think it stops being magic just because of that.

14. I have gone on one "date" on which I was taken back to a guy's apartment after talking to him for a bit on OKCupid. Color me dangerously naïve, but he said we could play video games and chat. I was not aware that this was code for “I barely know you, but let’s have sex” when I agreed to come over. He was my first kiss, and awful as that evening was, I don’t regret all of it because I learned a very important thing from him: it’s not worth it if a guy is just into me. I have to be into him too. Seems stupid, but there you have it.

15. I left to walk home in the rain before he really got anywhere aside from awkwardly down my shirt.

16. After that disaster, I figured masturbation beats online dating any day of the week.

17. Technical second kiss: I received a very toothy hickey from a classmate for an art project he was doing. It was awkward as hell, and he pretty much gnawed at my neck for an eternity or two. Another thing I would like to try with someone I actually give a crap about

18. I think part of my basic problem is that I come on too strongly towards the men I am interested in. I tend to think of myself when I come on to guys as the comical ugly and large Eastern European lady masseuse character, who takes unwanted liberties with young men that she overpowers. And then I hate myself, because I don’t want to be a rapist because guys don't know how to say no; I want to be wanted back.

19. I pretty much need to stop being a creep. I’ve been creeped at before--it isn’t fun. Nobody likes creepers.

20. The guy I am currently hung up upon has actually been really helpful for this, because he is a gigantic sexy tease and a flirt. I don’t think he honestly has any interest in me outside of the fact that I pay attention to him, and he’s been spooked that if he did get into it with me that I would want to tie him down with obligations and commitments (as opposed to say, rope, which is what I would actually like to tie him down with), but he’s pretty tolerant of my awkward flirtations while half leading me on and half telling me I’m not his type and he’s too broken to be in a relationship. I consider his gentle non-serious on-leading to be the most encouragement I have ever received from anybody I actually liked, and I have been caught puppy-dogging and Facebook-stalking him far too often.

21. I know it’s terrible because everybody I know has told me that it’s terrible, and I can objectively see that it’s terrible, I can listen to myself and the words that come out of my mouth and hear that it’s terrible, I’m reading the above entry and I can see how bad it is, but whenever I’m around him the logical part of my brain gets overridden by the reptile brain that thinks he smells like a sexy pine-tree-man that I would like to be in, on, and around me at all times.

22. And I know it’s the smell because I can snap myself out of it by wearing a dust mask. I smell him in the building where we both go to school (dude is pungent, I have to admit, I can walk in the door and know he’s been there) and imagine the tendrils of scent wrapping me up in an embrace, curling into my nose and lungs like green smoke.

23. Reading sex and gender books and blogs has done weird things to my reactions to people and thus to my reputation. Somebody brings up easily mockable pervs who are turned on by pretending to be babies, for a recent example, and I’ll say “but that’s sweet, they just want somebody to take care of them totally, and it’s not like they are turned on by actual children, just by pretending to be children” and the room will go a little quiet, and then I’ll be mocked a bit for my Rocky Horror-sparked appreciation for guys in black leather corsets.

24. So my reputation is that I am a Virginal Kink, possibly one who has no idea what she is getting into, which is objectively true, but I do resent the patronizing that comes along with it.

25. I just really want to try out and learn pretty much everything, I’m just waiting until it’s mutual before I give up my V-card. I figure that’s how it should be. until that point: practice, practice, practice.

2011-08-16T23:37:00.000-07:00

1) I'm 21 years old and FAAB; the only word that I've found that feels right for either my gender or my sexuality is queer. However, I usually present as femme, occasionally androgynous, because I have a very femme body shape. This disappoints me sometimes.

2) I can't remember how I first found out much about sex, but vaguely think it came from sex education lessons in class when I was 11, and a book on the same which my parents pointedly left around at about the same time. I learned a hell of a lot more when I discovered fanfiction at about 14, and have been on a voyage of discovery ever since.

3) I don't think I'll ever stop learning about sex, and I certainly hope not. I desperately wanted to be sex-positive from a young age, before I really knew what sex-positivity was, because I didn't understand why people were ashamed. However, like many people, I had society's expectations forced upon me and acted rather prudishly -- unwarrantedly so -- until I reached about 18, and it was like waking up.

4) I think part of the reason I took so long to catch on is because I was abused as a child and teen. Emotionally, verbally and physically, rather than sexually. But it took a massive toll on my self-identity and sense of worth, and I'm still trying to work out how to handle some things.

5) I told my first shrink to go fuck himself because he was more interested in my gender/sexuality than in the fact that I had been abused for the majority of my life. My gender and sexuality have never caused me problems, or serious dysphoria. Luckily, my current one doesn't bat an eyelid, and it makes me feel much more secure that she doesn't seem to see me as some sort of freak because I'm not cis/straight.

6) I was vaguely aware of sex and masturbation -- though not as words as such -- as a child. I occasionally used to rub against pillows or duvet, but my 'fantasies' (so to speak) were generally part of much longer and more complex stories I used to create, awake or asleep, as I've been a lucid dreamer for years. This stopped about the time that I hit puberty, because my family situation also worsened.

7) I hit puberty at 12, and did so very calmly. When I was thirteen I had D-cup breasts, and they've grown pretty consistently since. I think they've now stopped. My figure is one that most women would kill for. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I'm indifferent, sometimes I get vaguely frustrated. However, I know that I'm lucky not to struggle with my self-appearance, as some do.

8) I had my first kiss when I was 19, in my first week at university. I was drunk and the guy wasn't a great kisser. I mostly did it out of curiosity.

9) I'm a filthy dancer. For me, it just seems natural, but everyone tells me how (wonderfully) dirty it is. I'm not complaining.

10) Most of my social circle think that I'm lesbian. I was struggling with labels at the time, and it was easy to come out as lesbian even though it didn't feel right. I now know that I'm queer, and that my sexual desire has very little to do with the genitals or even the genders involved.

11) I've made out with five girls, and I loved it. I loved the softness of their bodies and the pliability of their skin, the way that I could wrap my arms around their waists. The only one that I regret was one where I was rather too forceful (and drunk) and she had to tell me to back off. I did, but I still felt dirty because of what I'd done. It took me quite a while to look her in the eye again.

12) I've only been in a relationship with one girl, and that was for about six months. She identifies as a soft butch lesbian. I was very fond of her, and did find her sexy, but I could never get very enthusiastic. Most of the time we dated, I was not on medication, and was acting out. When I was re-medicated and told her about my past -- abuse, depression and three suicide attempts -- she dumped me on the spot.

13) This girl found it difficult to believe I was a virgin, though she did believe me. I made her come twice the first time we had sex, and she said it was the best she'd ever had. Hearing her say that got me really turned on, but I only came once when I was with her. I used to fake it because she was so obsessed with trying to make me orgasm, even when I knew I'd passed the point where I could have been able to.

14) The one time I came was the last time we had sex. Right after we finished she dumped me, before I even had a chance to put my clothes back on. I cried for the whole night, then slowly came to realize that we had both been messed up.

15) From that, I discovered that I enjoyed giving oral, sixty-nining, roughness (scratching, biting, bruising), and that it really turned me on when she pinned me down on my front and fucked me with her hand from behind.

16) I also discovered that the main thing I get off on is seeing someone enjoying themselves.

17) I masturbate irregularly. Sometimes I'll have a week where I end up masturbating every night, sometimes I won't care about it for a month. Sometimes this is random, but often it does seem to be linked with my mood in general. When I'm happier, I want to masturbate more. I started masturbating when I was about 15, still living at home; I'd hide under the bed and bite the duvet, terrified of making any noise. I wasn't sure whether or not I was doing it right until I looked it up on the internet to be sure. Once I moved to university and got a dildo -- and a locking door -- I became bolder. I love being noisy, when there's no one in the house to hear, but unfortunately I have too many housemates for this to be a very frequent thing. I love porn, though I'm finding myself to be incredibly picky about what I watch, and what I want on one night won't be what I want on the other. However, it's pretty constant that I'm after the noises to be right.

18) I love being naked, especially in the summer. Clothes feel so constricting and clingy, especially artificial fabrics. Unfortunately, for the last two years my bedroom has been overlooked, but this year I've got net curtains so I can hang out naked with no problems. I'm really looking forward to this.

19) One of my housemates last year was a homophobic ass. She always sat in the same chair in the living room, as well. One time after a party I bought my girlfriend home and we had sex in that chair. I've never told anyone, and I don't regret it for a moment.

20) I write a lot of fanfiction, much of it -- nowadays -- sexual. I'm relatively well known on one fandom kink meme for the things that I write. My fills tend to wander with my fantasies: for a while it was explicit non-con, especially female-on-male, then doomed-romance things, and now I'm really hankering after shameless smut. This writing has really helped me to come to terms with describing sexual acts, being honest about what I want, and looking into anything that I hadn't heard about before. I also do roleplay, in the non-sexual sense, and will admit to using my characters as ways of exploring my gender presentation/identification and sexuality.

21) I wish there were more people that I could discuss sexual things with in complete and explicit detail. Unfortunately, there seem to be a general lack of them in this world. This is one of the reasons that I spend a lot of time online, though I keep accounts which allow me a certain level of anonymity.

22) I'm starting to realize that many of my sociopolitical views are incredibly radical. Although I would describe myself as feminist, I have problems with both the gender binary and the gender spectrum. I think that gender is a spurious and artificial construct which tries to group together types of people in the incorrect ways. I support the abolition of marriage. I support the legalization of sex work, and of all sexual practices and behaviors which can be undertaken with full informed consent. And I can be really rather vocal about it. In a course in my first year of university, people were more shocked when I called myself feminist than when I called myself lesbian.

23) I have many friends on the internet; the longest-standing of these is approaching five and a half years. We are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there is a far deeper bond than friendship there, and if we are honest then we want a future together. I am flying six thousand miles to visit him in five weeks' time and fully intend to fuck his brains out whilst I am out there as well as (/as part of) trying to work out where our future goes from here. I think that he is a virgin, and part of me is really excited at the idea of being his first. I want to make it really special for him, although I'm worried what he'll think of the fact that I don't necessarily care about orgasming myself.

24) I'm really looking forward to having sex with a man. I've seen plenty of pictures of penises, but never a penis in real life, and the idea really excites me. I really want to try fellatio. For most of the last year that I've been single, there hasn't been a problem, but as this trip to meet this man has become more and more set in stone, I've been getting increasingly sexually frustrated.

25) I know that I'm only young in terms of sexual exploration, and there's a lot more out there that I want to try out. However, I suspect that the man I'm currently in love with -- see above -- is rather more vanilla and less queer than I am. In some ways, it surprises me that I'm fine with that, as long as I have my writing as an outlet. I'd far rather have my ideal romance than my ideal sex.

2011-08-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 20.5 year old female.

2. My first sexual experience was when I was 11, and it was not consensual.

3. My second sexual experience was when I was 13, and it was not consensual.

4. After the second experience (with this same person), he continued to assault me daily for four months. He never raped me (as most people define rape), but I consider it rape.

5. After my assault, I thought myself a lesbian for several years, but still entertained occasional crushes on men.

6. After a few years, I decided I was bisexual. I like my women younger (only a little) and my men older (sometimes a great deal older).

7. Recently I began doubting my sexual orientation again. Shortly thereafter, I discovered an artist who published (online) a journal she had kept of her life in comic strip form. She called herself queer because she was a lesbian who fell in love with a man, but she didn't feel she was bisexual. I decided I am queer. I fear and loathe men in general, I adore women and their bodies, but there is a man I love very much and would give anything to be with.

8. I am overweight which, added to my past experiences, makes it difficult for me to be confident in my sexuality and the way I am perceived by others. As such, when men hit on me (which happens more than I had expected) I am very uncomfortable and always blush and push them away or make excuses and then go home and cry.

9. I am very lonely because I don't trust people enough to let them in. A few of my friends know about my sexual orientation, but none are romantic interests.

10. The man that I am in love with doesn't know, but he knows everything I need and want and look for in a partner after a conversation we had. After that conversation I decided I would probably never tell him how I felt, because he felt he couldn't be what I need.

11. I am very submissive with men. I want a man to take care of me as much as one can be taken care of by another. I want him to protect me and help me with decisions and shelter me (because I've never been very sheltered). I want him to sometimes just hold me and tell me everything will be all right and let me cry on him.

12. With women, I like to be the caregiver. I want to initiate (though I never do) and I want to be the one giving pleasure and I don't care if I receive any in return.

13. Though I have never had a consensual sexual experience, I really like sex. I really want to have nice, fun, consensual sex with someone I really care about and who really cares about me.

14. I really like to masturbate. Sometimes I use porn to arouse me, sometimes I imagine pictures of people I'm attracted to, sometimes I read erotic fiction (and fan-fiction), and sometimes I just imagine an anonymous person taking care of me and giving me pleasure.

15. My family does not know about my sexuality.

16. I won't tell my sister because we aren't close and she does little but hurt people. She is also quite religious (though it is some modern religion and she doesn't go to church every Sunday or anything) and doesn't believe that anyone other than male/female couples should be allowed to marry, and she doesn't keep secrets for anyone.

17. My mother would think I was making some feminist statement and applaud it and then tell me about some phase she went through where she thought she was a lesbian.

18. My father wouldn't be bothered by it, but I cannot, in all fairness, tell him without telling the others. He is a good person, but I'm also afraid of ever doing anything to hurt him. I'm fairly sure I inherited my depression (as well as my migraines) from him, and I would hate to be the cause of his pain.

19. I have pretty severe depression. I saw a couple of therapists over the last two years, but I no longer see any because I can't afford it now that I've moved off the university campus and am living on my own. I was never really honest with my therapists, anyway, about certain things (like my sexuality and some of my odder thoughts about relationships).

20. When my depression hits me especially hard, I feel particularly lonely and wish for any type of human contact, be it a one night stand, a night with a friend just spend cuddling, or telling the man I love how much I love him, no matter how he reacts.

21. I'm terrified of graduating college and moving on to complete my masters degree, because I don't want to leave certain people here who know about my sexuality or whom I love just yet, because I'm afraid it will really hurt me.

22. I'm also excited because maybe moving away will allow me to become less dependent on the people I currently love, and I'll be able to form new and better relationships. Maybe it will be the next step and I'll be able to let a wonderful man or woman get close to me and make love to me.

23. I like being spanked (and I have a good ass for spanking--it really bounces) or even paddled lightly.

24. I like having my hair pulled a bit (but not too much).

25. One of my goals is to go to a sex store, walk in confidently, buy a nice vibrator, and then go home and make myself feel really good.

2011-08-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

1. I am currently a 22-year-old female who has been dating my first and only boyfriend now for over 5 years (we started flirting at 15 and dating at 17, then became long distance at 18 because of school). Before him my only similar relationship with a boy was with my best friend and neighbor (we started being friends in kindergarten and we broke up in grade three. We only kissed).

2. My first time was when I was 19. Until then I had thought I would save my virginity until I was married, but thinking on my boyfriend I decided that if I had to be awkward with someone, it had to be him (he could laugh it off with me). It was surprisingly good, though I did not orgasm, and to this day I am still glad I decided to do it with my boyfriend (he was so sweet). Since, we have devoted a lot of alone time to becoming comfortable with each other and having fun.

3. It's not easy for me to orgasm (unless I use a vibrator), and when I do, it's even harder to do it a second time. One time when I did orgasm a second time, it burned a bit too much. I also usually become too dry for a second time after I orgasm (I've even become dry just before orgasming, which lube always saves).

4. (Though...) A few days before my period, it is always easy to orgasm, and I get impossibly wet. I also get really wet and sensitive if we haven't had sex for a long time (a month or two).

5. I have a hard time relinquishing control over my body, and I feel this is tied to me having a hard time orgasming. I do get better at it every time though, and I still have a lot of fun having sex with my boyfriend without climaxing. Usually I'm fine with just getting some great waves, but I have to admit he's getting better at finding places!

6. I really like to look at women, and have toyed with the idea of being bisexual. When I was first starting puberty, I couldn't stop staring at all the girls and their boobs and it kind of worried me for a long time (until I heard about female competitiveness, and left it up to that). To me, women are gorgeous; I love watching them, thinking of clothing for them, and drawing them. Aesthetically, women are great (especially breasts and curves!). For myself, I like to keep lean, but for other women I prefer a soft layer of fat. Over the years, I have become more comfortable with the male form as well (and draw it constantly).

7. I've found a kink of mine for male-male sexual relationships. I like to watch men fall in love and break that barrier (and admit their true feelings). I also just love to watch men have sex (because, hey, they're sexy). Recently I have gotten interesting gay films as well as gay porn as an outreach for this fetish. I also do some writing and read others' works.

9. My boyfriend knew of my kink since day one, and we have both been obliging to each other's desires. About a year and a half ago we finally started pushing towards being comfortable with me dominating (it was a personal barrier as well, confronting my issues with how to orgasm), and now we're a menstrual cycle away from me pegging him. I am so excited! We have the toy waiting...

10. I don't see my pegging my boyfriend as me dominating him so much as me equalling him. We have both been honest with each other about wanting an equal relationship, one where one person is not greater, or lesser, than the other. I feel like this attitude has kept our sex playful and fulfilling.

11. I love the idea of doing someone back, and some days wish that I had a penis (I have a bit of penis envy myself). My boyfriend is a little squishy and I love to handle his curves like he's a woman. I especially love when I can tease him until he begs, even bite him a little too hard to urge him on. I also love to show off my sexual prowess, and feel empowered by my sexual skill. My boyfriend and I joke that I have a huge, imaginary dick because of the way I act sometimes.

12. I have a complex about being girly; I hate being submissive, and have always been treated equal to a boy by my family. Things that empower me to have a more dominant sexuality include: power tools, exercising, and shooting firearms. Cars are pretty awesome too.

13. For the last five years I've had boy-short hair, and I've loved it. It allowed me to be a little sexually ambiguous and that gave me the freedom to explore my male side. Recently though, I've been growing it out in some sort of exploration of a former self who before I felt self-concious about. So far, I have had a hard time re-envisioning my sexuality; to me, long hair is girly and submissive. But I'm getting over it and learning to love the hair I used to always despise, and in turn, the self I used to despise. Now I'm making her a part of me.

14. Until this past year, I never masturbated. I always felt like there was no point unless I was actually doing it with someone. Now, it's kind of a stress reliever for me, and also something to do when I can't get to sleep. I still value spending physical time with my boyfriend over masturbating though, because I really love the intimacy of it.

15. To me, sex isn't about the orgasm (and sometimes my sex life goes down because I start to think it is). I love to feel that extra connection and freedom that comes along with knowing someone's body in such a pleasurable way. I love to be free with my body and to learn to adore the body of another, because being human is okay (despite what others may tell you).

16. I like to confirm my sexuality by boasting with other girl friends about my sexual exploits. I think this is linked to an underlying paranoia of mine that I don't have enough experience, or that I'm missing out on something because I've only been with one man. Sometimes I worry that maybe there's someone even better out there than my current boyfriend, but usually he does something to prove otherwise shortly after the worrying starts.

17. I am sexually attracted to men who I can have an in-depth conversation with, no matter what they look like. I've had a crush on one of my guy friends as a result of this, and I still feel connected to him and jealous when he pays attention to other women. I'm never drawn to another man by looks alone, and mostly am repulsed by muscular or vain men.

18. When I was little, I loved Barbies. I used to make then have explicit heterosexual and lesbian sex, and even made sexy outfits for them. I played with Barbies all the way up to grade 9.

19. I easily catch urinary infections (I've had about four), despite being very clean and health-obsessed. I've had them happen after several bouts of good orgasms, and wonder if I'm defective.

20. I like pubic hair. I like hair on men, and hairless men seem strange to me. The sight of pubic hair turns me on, and in turn I like to keep my hair (groomed of course). I feel that shaving is oppressive and that I should be accepted as I am, not some man-made fantasy. Because of this, I find heterosexual porn and some gay porn to be oppressive instead of sexy.

21. I like giving my boyfriend blowjobs (though, not all the time), and still feel uncertain about receiving them. I like them best when my boyfriend is on his knees, and least when I'm on my back. I feel silly just laying there with my boyfriend's face in my crotch; I feel like I should be doing something.

22. I'm 125 pounds and 5'8". Sometimes I worry I'm too thin and that's why I can't orgasm easily. I have found that with a few pounds I usually orgasm easier (fluke?), but my self-confidence goes down and I'm more submissive. My new solution to this issue is to be fit and strong, as women who exercise are also rumored to orgasm more easily. So far, it is a proven energizer and confidence-booster.

23. Until I started dating my boyfriend, I was scared of my sexuality. Even kissing him for the first time gave me a feeling that I knew was supposed to be sexy, but I had decided I didn't like sexy, so I didn't like it. With time, I got over that closed-ness, but it still affected my attitude towards masturbating until recently. Sexual feelings were something I didn't associate with myself; I liked to see myself as something asexual. I guess this has continued in my life through my short hair, and I still like to act like a kid when not in bed. I don't feel like my sexuality should define my personality and intellect (although I can't be quite feminist).

24. I don't believe that there is only one person out there for you. I believe that humans are community-based creatures who should have multiple partners in order to live a healthy lifestyle. That being said, I seem to be a bit of a hypocrite. In my defense, I love my boyfriend and do muse about having other partners (but he would not be okay with that). I also believe that we should have different partners for different stages of our lives. My boyfriend so far has been there for me through my sexual evolution, and I love him for every second of it. We'll see if in time I need someone else to grow with.

25. I have to be pretty/the pretty one. In every situation, I have to find myself the winner against all women around me. I guess all girls have this competitiveness, but sometimes I surprise myself with the size of my ego. I pull this less often with my female friends, but sometimes get miffed at the fact that I have a history of men ignoring me. This past year, though, I feel like I've sexually peaked, as I've noticed men's gazes and had a few more nerds flirting badly with me. It's kind of great.

2011-08-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 32 year-old, married, outwardly conventional, straight man. Nobody would look twice at me on the street.

2. I lost my virginity at 19 to a girl I thought I loved. The sex was terrible because we didn't have a clue how to communicate.

3. I wasn't in love with the girl in #2. I was in love with a fantasy version of her that I created in my mind.

4. My wife fits my fantasy #2 much better than real girl #2 ever did. For that I'm oddly grateful to girl #2.

5. In college, my best friend gave me and her boyfriend simultaneous hand jobs to distract us while we played Super Smash Brothers.

6. I won, and the two of them gave me a blowjob together.

7. Two weeks later I lost a game of strip poker with them. He fingered and fucked me in the ass while I went down on her.

8. Numbers 5-7 actually cleared any doubt in my mind about my heterosexuality. I tried it with a guy, loved it, crossed it off my list, and have no interest in doing it again.

9. My first girlfriend after college would blow me at the drop of a hat, masturbate while riding in the car, fuck me in semi-public, beg me to fuck her in the ass, rim me, and give me prostate massages, but she never once let me go down on her because she thought it was "dirty."

10. The girl in #9 used to knowingly wear light sundresses with her thong and nipples clearly visible. It was the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

11. #9 taught me that "crazy" will always override "hot" sooner or later. She was a lot of both. Ultimately the crazy won, and I moved on.

12. My wife is hot without an ounce of crazy. She wins.

13. My wife massages my prostate at least once a month. Afterward I have a feeling of emptiness that I can never achieve through ejaculation alone.

14. The only thing I would even remotely consider changing about my wife's sexuality is making her more comfortable being dominant in the bedroom. Every once in a while I would love it if she would throw me down and sit on my face.

15. If I had to choose only one sexual act that I could do for the rest of my life, it would be going down on my wife. I suspect she might choose the same.

16. My wife and I have an explicit rule of, "look, think, talk, but don't touch" when it comes to other people.

17. Rule #16 has led to some amazing sex for us. Sometimes my wife will meet a hot guy and act her fantasies out on me. As far as I'm concerned, anything that keeps us fucking is a good thing.

18. My wife doesn't know about 5-7 and never will. As far as I know, the only people who know about it were there, and one of them is dead now (car accident).

19. Almost every girl I've ever dated has been at least moderately kinky. This leads me to believe that most people are, if given an opportunity to let it come out.

20. I don't talk to girl #2 anymore, but I've heard that she's a lesbian now. This doesn't surprise me at all and I'm happy for her.

21. Somewhere on the internet there's a picture of me from when I was 21, blindfolded and hogtied on the bed wearing only black boxer-briefs, with a butt-plug, a bottle of lube and a realistic dildo sitting next to me.

22. The only unfulfilled thing on my sexual to-do list is to be dominated by two or more women. I don't think it'll ever happen, and I'm quite OK with that. I suspect it's better as a fantasy anyway.

23. I'm uncircumcised and extremely grateful to my hippie parents for making that choice. Not only is my head super-sensitive, but the feeling of the foreskin stretching can be incredibly pleasurable. Masturbation without lube is super easy too.

24. Six out of the eight girls who've seen my penis said it was the first uncircumcised dick they'd seen in person.

25. I think that hand-jobs are highly underrated when done correctly.

2011-08-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

1 I am a 23-year-old in a slim, petite female body.

2 I've been physically attracted to women since I was 9. I find femininity and the female figure more beautiful than anything in the world, I feel passionate about it, I wish I could talk about it every day.

3 Since I was 13 I've been struggling with what might be termed the sociality of homosexuality. I find it hard to communicate my sexuality to heteronormative people. At the same time, I don't feel comfortable with the gay scene, because I feel like a traitor for so consistently falling in love with men. In short, I'm carrying a huge amount of shame for both aspects of my sexual orientation.

4 I've fallen in love with around 4 men in my lifetime so far. All events have been extremely dramatic. My crushes on women are never quite as bothersome.

5 I was sexually abused by my last boyfriend. We broke up five months ago and I'm still coming to terms with it. The way he raped me was quite complicated, it wasn't like he held me down and forced himself on me. He was using "pick up" techniques to make me feel like my consent didn't really matter. In the end I was just letting him fuck me when I didn't want it, and I felt cold and worthless inside. The recovery process after all this is extremely difficult, and I frequently want to die rather than continue carrying this pain.

6 When I was 16 or 17 years old I experienced a lot of gender dysphoria. I hated being in a female body, felt very alienated from it, and wore very baggy male clothing almost all the time. Eventually this stopped, and I'm not sure why. I was very depressed for a while, so perhaps I was finding strength in my masculinity, and as I became happier again and wanted to embrace the world once more, I fell more in line with cisgendered social norms.

7 My gender expression became yet more feminine because my ex put me under a lot of pressure to change my appearance and personality to suit his idealization of a perfect girlfriend, so that he could feel like more of a man. Since breaking up with him, I almost immediately felt drawn to the masculine side of my personality again. I've taken up an idiosyncratic kind of crossdressing, wearing dapper male clothing and binding my chest, and while I don't feel uncomfortable in a female body anymore, I don't feel cisgendered either. I don't know how long this will continue, but I don't want it to fade away again like it did before; even though it makes my identity more complicated, I really love this side of my personality.

8 If this does continue for a long while, I will be proud to call myself genderqueer. I feel uncomfortable calling myself bisexual, but I think being genderqueer is awesome. I've very recently started participating in genderqueer activity online and IRL, and I find it so encouraging and inclusive.

9 I'm worried that my masculinity is a response to the sexual abuse, since I've become very aware of the submissiveness of femininity and I'm terrified by my complicity in the abuse. I'd be heartbroken if I discovered that I was only presenting as masculine because I'm afraid of being raped again. However, my crossdressing feels more positive this time around than it did when I was a teenager. I don't hate being female, and I still present as feminine fairly regularly, I just really love presenting as masculine.

10 I'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. Although he presents as male consistently, our relationship doesn't feel gendered at all; it works no matter what gender I present as, we seem to have a strong connection that has nothing to do with reinforcing the oppositional gender of the other partner.

11 It feels absolutely awesome to finally be in a relationship with another bisexual person. I feel more comfortable with my bisexuality than I used to, because within the context of our relationship it's completely normal. Neither one of us can comprehend exclusive homo- or heterosexuality.

12 With my current partner I've been able to take up pegging, and I love it. We'd been talking about it for a while, and I was putting it off because I wasn't sure what it meant for me to want something like that. I finally decided to take the plunge and buy myself a strap-on when I was playing with my dildo one night and seriously got off on imagining it was my own penis, pretending to masturbate like a man. My partner really enjoys it, and often has multiple orgasms.

13 My dick is goddamn awesome. I sometimes wish I could have a real penis, but most of the time I'm perfectly satisfied with my shiny, silicone, curvy, black dildo. I only wish I had sensation on the shaft itself, rather than having to rely on the pressure it puts on my clitoris. My partner is researching cyborging, so I'm hoping that one day, many years from now when nerve splicing has been perfected, we can build me a prosthetic with sensation.

14 I've never before felt so immediately sure that I want to marry someone as I have my current partner. It usually takes much longer for me to cross that boundary. I've also never believed in the shared vision of a future together so strongly as I do with my current partner. Unfortunately, he is going away to study for a Ph.D abroad. He'll be home every few months, and in 18 months I can move out there to be with him. Hopefully it will work out between us. If we make it to me moving out there I'm going to propose.

15 I come extremely easily - usually within less than a minute of stimulation. The people I've slept with seem to really enjoy this. I enjoy it too, of course, but it does make it a little too easy for me to receive more foreplay than I give, which is a pity. Thankfully, now that I'm pegging I can give back, which feels awesome.

16 I squirt, in huge quantities. Until my current partner, everyone I had slept with found this kind of unusual and inconvenient. My partner finds it a huge turn-on. He often tries to drink as much of it as possible, but it usually comes out faster than he can swallow it. Since we started sleeping together, I've been able to really enjoy squirting.

17 I feel very masculine when I squirt. I'm very proud of being able to ejaculate; on people, and on furniture. I feel like I'm marking my territory, or at least my presence in someone's life. I also love coming back and making out in the same spot a few hours later and smelling my own scent; I become deeply and primally turned on by it.

18 Masochism was a prominent part of my sexual expression for a very long time. I still get turned on when wrestling with my partner and getting pinned down, but I soon become overwhelmingly frightened because it reminds me of being abused by my ex.

19 The same goes for any flirtatious talk about tying my partner up. It turns me on a little, but that quickly gives way to a panic attack as I become afraid of becoming a rapist. I don't feel like I'm dominating my partner in a sadistic way when I'm pegging him, although the power balance does shift tremendously when he's the one being penetrated rather than me.

20 It might also be that my S&M desires have faded away since a psychoanalyst advised me that it probably has its roots in my experiences as a baby with a cleft lip and palette. I couldn't breastfeed, and even bottle feeding was a struggle, so those first experiences of intimacy with my mother became a desperate attempt to get food and intimacy by inflicting pain on myself. My sexuality became the same way. Masochism has lost some of its power for me since I learned that.

21 I feel slightly burdened by my own physical attractiveness. I'm not exactly pretty enough for the media, but I do have a close-to-ideal female body. I'm a US size zero, although I'm very short so I don't look skeletal. I have C- to D-cup breasts and a small waist, and slim legs. This means that if I do turn out to be masculine-of-center for the long term, the decision to start bodybuilding to make my body suit my gender expression will be a huge step. I don't want to have such a feminine body, but knowing how much this body is prized by wider society, it's hard to give it up.

22 The ideal body for my gender expression as it is right now would probably be the same from the waist down, but I would want smaller, more muscular breasts and wider shoulders. Generally I would like to be more muscular, partly so that I look good wearing short sleeves when I'm in boy mode, and partly so that I could spar on an equal footing with my partner if I learn a martial art. I'd never be buff by the standards expected of a man, but I'm okay with that, I'd just like to build some muscle.

23 Although I've had sex with women, I feel like the sex with my partner is the queerest I've ever had. I think by that I mean that it feels totally authentic - I'm not trying to be anything I'm not, and I don't think he is either. We only have sex when we really want to have sex with each other - we never compromise for the other person, and never use the other person just to get off recreationally. It feels queer when he has multiple orgasms with my beautiful silicone dick inside him, and it feels queer when he eats me out and drinks my ejaculate, because we're engaging fully and completely in our own sexual expression, rather than performing what Hollywood told us sex was supposed to be like.

24 I'll probably start missing sex with women at some point, but the desire isn't there at the moment. I'm okay admiring women and flirting with them without doing anything. I know that polyamory is not for me, but if the time comes that both of us need to fulfill sexual desires that can't be met by the other person then I'd be happy with us both going and doing that for a short time.

25 My last relationship was semi-open, which was terrible, for a variety of reasons. One of these reasons was that it was easier for my ex to meet girls than it was for me, partly because of him being a heterosexual male, but also because I'm near-teetotal and he wasn't. Most girls my age seem to find it kind of odd and alienating that I don't smoke weed. Again, it's great to finally have a partner who is on the same page as me on that one, as he also only drinks for taste and isn't interested in drugs. He's never going to bug me about not being able to have wine with dinner, or not being able to have sex while high.

2011-08-11T23:15:00.000-07:00

We're back after that unexpected break. If you've been thinking about making your own list and sending it in, now would be a fine time.

2011-08-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

1. I am a transman, FTM, from Russia (excuse me for the mistakes, I'm not a native speaker). I had my mastectomy and documents change a couple of years ago. Now I'm in my mid-twenties.

2. I identify as... maybe pansexual. Probably. Don't know for sure. I had sex with cis-guys, just to be sure that it couldn't make me less of a man. You know, when you are a teenager-ftm, people often say that you should at least try to have sex with a guy. They say, "straight" sex can wake up "the woman inside you." So, I was very young and stupid, and I tried it a couple of times. For me that was really gay sex. Ewww. But maybe now, post-op, It will be different?

3. I like girls and I've wanted to be with them since I was 12 years old.

4. I am in a constant relationship with a woman now. She is amazing; we have great sex. I love her.

5. I don't use a strap-on, dildo, or whatever. My hands and tongue are always with me. Toys are somewhat scary for me.

6. I like to masturbate.

7. I masturbate in the shower, with water. I discovered this kind of masturbation when I was around 14. When I was twenty-something and already post-op, I learned how to please myself without a shower head, and it was great. It IS great.

8. I don't like vaginal sex. I can't put anything in my vagina--in fact I hate it. But I like oral sex with women. Giving and receiving. I nearly always get an orgasm.

9. I had sex with another FTM. We were drunk, it was a weird experience, I don't remember much. We were in clothes. It was such a shame in the morning. I think, that if I wasn't drunk that night, it couldn't have happened. And I also was starting my testosterone therapy. Libido rises, no girls in our life for that moment, and vodka... oh. Actually, I don't like vodka. Especially with beer.

10. Maybe sex with another transman isn't a bad idea. Maybe, if my current relationship with a woman comes to an end, I'll try it. But I will never have sex with an admirer (man or woman) who doesn't like me as a person and wants to fuck with me just because I'm transsexual. If you just want exotic sex, go fuck somebody else.

11. Sometimes I think about sex with someone else (not with my partner), but it is just thoughts. Not that I really want to do it right now.

12. I like to touch people (and not in a sexual way too). I like to be touched.

13. I am not tall... well, okay, I'm short. 161 cm. But it isn't a problem. I can find a partner, if I want to. I'm not overweight. Dark haired, masculine. I think that I'm attractive.

14. I don't like BDSM. But I like elements of hard sex.

15. I like "69." I like facesitting.

16. I like to watch porn with squirting. But I am not sure that I want to see squirting in real life. Is it pee or something else? I don't know. But squirting orgasms are exciting... at least in videos. I jerk off to squirting porn.

17. I love to hear my partner's moans. I also make noises, especially at the time of orgasm.

18. It's very exciting to try not to make noises--when parents are in the next room, etc.

19. I had sex with an underage girl when I was also underage. So it's not a crime. She provoked me--it was my first sexual experience ever.

20. I don't want phalloplasty. I think the result of this operation isn't beautiful. And what if it can't feel after all? No, thanks. I love my little cock.

21. In Russia there are many homophobes and transphobes. So I don't tell everyone that I'm FTM. Just living as a man is enough. Maybe if I was a cis-male there would be more sexual relationships in my post-op life.

22. I want somebody to make nude photos of me. Maybe someday...

23. I already masturbated today.

24. I've never had a one-night stand or sex with a stranger. Thank God.

25. I have never been raped. Lucky me.

2011-06-20T17:11:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 28 year old female-bodied married person.

2. I am mostly cisgendered. I say mostly because sometimes I fantasize about having a penis, and pegging my husband with a strap-on makes me come like crazy. I don't know if that affects my gender or not, honestly; I find a lot of the different categories and terminology confusing. I'm pretty new to the politics of gender and sexuality.

3. My husband and I are both bisexual, but we did not know this about each other until after we'd been together for years. Neither of us had any bi experience until less than a year ago. He has lived in the southern US for his entire life, and was very nervous about broaching the subject with me. I love him so strongly for overcoming ingrained phobias and trying to find himself.

4. To explore this side of ourselves, we have become swingers. Bisexual men are hard to find in the swinging community (most of them publicly claim to be straight) but "bisexual" women seem to be a dime a dozen. This imbalance kind of makes me sad, but that's society for you.

5. I am in a phase wherein I love anything and everything male. Women are beautiful, don't get me wrong, but lately I have been so turned on by looking at the male body. Forearms and wrists and hands, mouths, shoulders, thighs, hips, and cocks are my favorite bits. I've been browsing lots and lots of photoblogs. I lust shamelessly after Tom Hardy.

6. I mostly masturbate to gay porn nowadays. I love watching men together. I belong to a few role-playing/writing groups, and tend to write a lot of sex scenes. The man-on-man ones are currently my favorites.

7. Despite having had sex with another man, my husband had never kissed one until last night. We went to the sex club and got very lucky. He kissed two. This made me deliriously happy and oh so horny. One was a huge, burly, tattooed soldier who wanted to bottom. The other was a slim and boy-next-door adorable type. (I was rather drunk and kept telling him he looked like a Backstreet Boy. He was very sweet about it.) We unfortunately only got one of their numbers.

8. I love to eat pussy. I've made four women come now and it's an incredible rush. Two were squirters. I kind of wish I could do that, but it hasn't happened yet. I get dry kind of easily, especially after I've already climaxed once.

9. A lot of the time I'd rather give oral than receive. Unless it's with my husband. He knows his way around my pussy. But I love to give pleasure and hear people breathe hard and moan and know I'm responsible for it.

10. Though so far I like fucking women, I'm not sure that I'd have a relationship with one. This is probably because I'm happily married. But if we were to branch into polyamory, I think I'd rather have a boyfriend. Considering that last night was the first time another man's penis has been inside me in close to 8 years, it's probably not going to come up any time soon.

11. I have two crushes on guys at work. Both are married and seemingly straight, but I still like to think about them making out.

12. I started masturbating when I was around eleven. I would rub a pillow against my crotch. I didn't have orgasms right away, and I honestly can't remember when my first one was. I found my parents' video porn stash at a fairly young age, though. It was silly '70s and '80s porn. To this day, vintage porn makes me horny and laugh at the same time.

13. I lost my virginity at 15 to a boy I was completely, hopelessly in love with. It was terrible and brief and hurt like hell. So did the second-and-final time we tried. It didn't make me love him any less. I think if we'd had more time, we could've had great sex. But then I think that's probably rose-colored thinking.

14. I am overweight, and this makes me feel unattractive and body-shy a lot of the time. Oddly, when we go to the club and I am scantily clad and pole dancing (in my own clumsy way) and surrounded by horny people, I feel gorgeous. It's like an entirely different world. Some of my best compliments have come from men at the club. I realize they probably just want to fuck me, but even that fact is pretty damn flattering.

15. We've toyed with BDSM a little bit. My husband likes to be treated roughly, and I'm finding that I like dominating him. I don't know that I could do it with someone I didn't know extremely well, though. I feel too nice and accommodating to be a real across-the-board domme. Though I find watching other people do it to be very arousing. A man in rope bondage makes me instantly horny.

16. I firmly believe that sexuality is fluid and can change over time. Or over people. And as long as everything is consensual and everyone is being safe and having fun, any kind of sex is wonderful. I wish more people could see that.

17. Trans people fascinate me, though I only know one personally (that I'm aware of). Though he might qualify more as genderqueer (again with the terminology), I don't know. He doesn't mind being called a he, but he looks better in a skirt than I do. His legs go for miles. We've talked to him and his wife about maybe playing with us, but it hasn't happened yet. She's gorgeous, too.

18. I haven't "come out" to hardly anyone about our bi-swinging-adventures. I've told only one RL friend (but they're not a very close friend), and one of my writing partners whom I love. More people know, because my husband has a big mouth (and is forever trying to get ladies to hook me up with), but I've been very quiet about it. I'm afraid of getting judged, and I hate that I am, but it's there anyway. Though I did inform my OB/GYN and she was incredibly casual and accepting of it. I love her.

19. I don't know how to flirt with women. My attempts so far have been totally awkward and not effective. They make me much more nervous than men do, and I can't help feeling like I'm constantly comparing myself, looks-wise. I wish I could boost my confidence, because I know confidence is sexy.

20. I think my mother would die if she knew any of this about me, and that makes me a little sad. Not even to mention my 92-year-old grandmother. My family isn't uber-conservative, but extremely hetero-normative.

21. I very much want to have a baby, but I also don't want to have to stop fulfilling my sexual urges in this way. I hope when it happens, we can find a good balance. I worry about that sometimes.

22. Most everybody who knows me would probably be shocked about all this. I have been told multiple times that I "look innocent," and a lot of people seem surprised when I get candid about other things. Sometimes I just want to blurt it out to someone random, like a co-worker, just to see their reaction.

23. My husband and I are 420-friendly. Being high just makes sex all the more incredible. We've had two awesome nights with another bi couple, smoking up and drinking wine and everyone playing with everyone.

24. I was married once before, at 19, to a man who was emotionally abusive to me and cut my self esteem down into tiny little pieces. He was very sexually repressed and kept me that way as well. Sex was never fun with him. I developed Issues. I got away after two years of marriage and felt like I had been set free from a cage. Looking back, it feels entirely like someone else's life, not mine. That wasn't me. Sometimes I want to call him up, tell him every "unnatural" and "depraved" thing that I do, tell him I've never been happier, and that he can choke on my big strap-on cock. I never do, though.

25. I feel very lucky to be where I am sexually, and it can only go uphill from here, I feel sure.

2011-06-19T17:04:00.000-07:00

1. I'm 20, I'm a girl, and I had my first penis-in-vagina sex about 2 weeks ago.

2. I think I'm relatively late and must admit I started worrying about it a bit. I haven't had any long term relationships so far, I almost don't have any crushes, and when I do they're mostly platonic or just imagined. I think I had stopped thinking about people as potential (one night, long term, friends with benefits or whatever) partners for a while.

3. I enjoy watching people and thinking about their beauty and ugliness. I notice girls and women more.

4. The last time I'd kissed somebody was last summer and I didn't enjoy it that much. Last time before that might be another year ago. I have been rather passive.

5. The first time I tried having sex was about three years ago, but I wasn't very into it and had my last days of menstruation. I was tight and not very wet and did not want to try more, but I enjoyed being naked and held a penis in my hand for the first time. I liked it, though I didn't feel like touching it with my lips. But I had my sexual fantasies in Russian for a few months after that, as that was the language we were using.

6. I think most of my experiences have been with foreigners, and I am not sure what to think about that.

7. I think I like penises a lot. Feeling a penis against my stomach or rubbing against my hip or lips while in the shower makes me smile. I would love to know what it's feeling.

8. I don't like shaving very much and I'm not very careful with that, but if my partner would prefer less hair, I'd most probably do it.

9. I remember discovering my clitoris when I was about 9 and thinking if this is what sex is about. Then I forgot about it for several years and began masturbating again only at about 16 or 17.

10. Last year I took a class on gender and sexuality at university, and one of the homework assignments was to interview someone about Soviet sexuality and circulation of knowledge in the family. My mom refused to speak with me about her personal experience.

11. My first time having sex was a bit weird because I had a tingling feeling all over my palms, my face and belly. At some point it became very confusing because my muscles were almost in cramps. It wasn't painful, but it was getting hard to smile and touch my partner because my fingers and face were so tense. Next day first I tried googling something like 'nerve trauma during sex' (these were not the right keywords and writing it made me feel funny), but after a while I found that the feeling most probably came from hyperventilation (well, yes), low blood pressure and improper back position. Though some people wrote they just have it when it's really good, hmm.

12. But overall I was smiling most of the time. I still feel so inexperienced, but I also enjoy doing things for the first time and I know it will get better. Also the feeling of being a bit stretched and swelling on the next day made me smile.

13. Neither of us came during all our sexual experiences together. I would like to be more sure about him, but I think both of us enjoyed ourselves and each other just being close and naked together. More time.

14. The feeling of my clitoris was so different during penetration, it was hard to feel anything, too much tension maybe.

15. So far I am rather vanilla, I like it slow, with lots of eye contact. But I am not that sure that this will last long and I guess it also depends on the partner I am with.

16. I love mess, different smells and body fluids. I also like blood and a bit of dirt and sweat. I would love to be covered in clay or mud together with my partner and be out in nature. Not too hygienic, I guess.

17. I like morning sex and sex in daylight.

18. I really enjoy using my tongue: for kissing, licking and blowjobs. I keep thinking about it a lot lately.

19. I love it when I kiss or share a touch with somebody and get the feeling of opening up for sharing the space between my legs with that person and the warmth spreading through my belly.

20. The advantage of having sex a bit later for me is that I am so much more free with my body and myself now than years before – it is a very good feeling to realize it and was even a bit of a surprise for myself. I certainly love being naked, and I think my attitude towards being naked in the presence of others also changed during the last few months when I began visiting a public sauna from time to time. Sex in a sauna would be so nice.

21. Reading this and other sex blogs has also been among my reasons of becoming more free with myself and more sex-positive. Lots of posts here turn me on.

22. My sex drive is not very high at the moment, I don't masturbate a lot, even if I think about having sex a lot - it's more about short, pleasant flashbacks and sometimes I physically start moving with it slowly or move my tongue in my mouth.

23. My orgasms are not very powerful, but I hope they will become more impressive when I'll get to know my body more and pay more attention to it. Sometimes I just don't feel interested in spending time for that. I hope I will not lose interest in sex and improving my knowledge about my own and other bodies. I hope I will not lose interest in other people or stop caring and will have more emotions.

24. I also hope to improve my fantasy skills; until now I usually just remember my favorite porn scenes.

25. Sex has been fun so far, and I'm happy about everything and about my partners and sure that more will come with time.

2011-06-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 18-year-old cis woman who doesn't really know where she stands sexuality-wise.

2. I've only ever dated cis men. It's been alright.

3. I'm currently dating a cis man who's usually pretty damn amazing to me.

4. My boyfriend lives in Italy right right while I'm still in the USA, which means I've been masturbating a lot, and it's usually glorious.

5. I've always wanted someone to go down on me and nobody will. My boyfriend tried it once, briefly, then decided he didn't like it and stopped and hasn't done it since. This upsets me.

6. I really like having my breasts touched and kissed and whatever else anyone wants to do with them.

7. I really hate having my ass touched and grabbed at and whatever else anyone tries to do to it.

8. My friends and I have joked about making queer porn. The fact is, though, I'd totally want to star in it.

9. I've been so fortunate to avoid being attacked and brutally raped, which I'm really thankful for. But I experienced what I have come to describe a "consent fail" in which I was drunk and talked into blowing a guy I had really just planned on making out with. I know that could legally be rape, but I feel like I couldn't ever prove anything in a court.

10. That event made me feel horrible for a really long time, and I'm pretty sure it was the motivation for me having penetrative vaginal sex for the first time with a guy I didn't like very much. We watched a Simon Pegg movie immediately afterward, which I find hilarious.

11. I hate the majority of mainstream porn, not because it's specifically degrading toward women, which is a factor, but because everyone is so shiny and hairless. I like skin to be matte and a little fuzzy, thanks.

12. I like the way my vagina looks, particularly how one of the inner lips is longer and bigger than the other and the color of the hair on my vulva.

13. I've kissed a couple of my female friends drunk on bets and dares, but I'd really like to be able to be in a romantic situation with a lady and be able to make out with and touch another woman in a sexual way.

14. But I'm not exclusively attached to doing sexual things with people who are strictly cisgender, which is why I'm kind of iffy on the whole sexuality-label thing.

15. I'm pretty sure I'd be able to stick my hands down anyone's pants and up anyone's shirt and be pretty satisfied with the results, is what I'm trying to say.

16. I like the idea of bondage, but I hate the slick-black-leather approach that's always in porn. I'd prefer soft, supple brown leather and cream-colored cotton to tie up and be tied up with.

17. I can't stand the idea of doing anything naked outdoors. Sure, making out in the park sounds fun, but under no circumstances will I consider sex on a beach.

18. My favorite fantasy is fucking in a kitchen in the morning. I get turned on just thinking about it, and I can't wait to try it once my boyfriend is back in the States.

19. I recently discovered how awesome masturbating in the bathtub can be, and I'm afraid I'm getting a little bit addicted. They're the best orgasms I've ever had.

20. I've only ever had orgasms when masturbating.

21. I'm becoming increasingly frustrated that I can't seem to get off from vaginal stimulation. I've figured out where my g-spot is, but touching it doesn't really turn me on.

22. I'm ordering my first vibrator this week and hoping that changes my relationship with my g-spot.

23. I'm planning on hunkering down with that new vibrator and the internet's vast (but not nearly as vast as it should be) assortment of queer and sex-positive porn and spending an afternoon orgasming.

24. I'm turned on by soft skin, tummies, the sound of skin brushing on skin, the way sex smells, and being licked--anywhere.

25. I'm turned off by the idea of anal sex on me because my ass is the one part of my body that I still can't find sexy.

2011-06-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

1. I am a happily married heterosexual 30-year-old stay-at-home dad. I'm white, upper middle class, overeducated, Jewish, and generally cognizant and guilty about my position of privilege and freedom in society.

2. My first orgasm was when I was twelve, sleeping in the top bunk, lying on my back and silently rubbing a pillow between my legs. I only partially understood what was happening, and remember being a little disappointed that that was it. I thought perhaps the spasms were the beginning of a second phase in which my body would take over and multiply the pleasure of my rubbing.

3. I have only ever had sex with my spouse. We met in the first weeks of college, dated other people for two years, then got together junior year. We were sexually active within a few months of that.

4. My first serious sexual experience with her was a blow job she started to give me. Neither of us knew what we were doing and as I started to come I panicked about what was about to happen and what it might mean for our relationship, and I pulled away.

5. I masturbate once or twice a day, for an approximate total of 7,000 orgasms. The vast majority of those sessions have come by lying face down on a surface and putting a pillow or my hand under my erection and grinding against it.

6. When I was 14 or so and had the privilege and privacy of my own room, in the basement no less, I challenged myself to find out how many times I could come in an hour. Answer: seven. Result: chafing. In retrospect: very much a teenage boy sort of thing to do.

7. Speaking of chafing, senior year, my wife moved off campus and had a big old clawfoot tub that we would fuck in. One time when we didn't use lubricant I ended up with an ugly raw patch near the head of my penis, which soon crusted over with a white scab-like thing. I thought it was a scab and took it easy for a few days, but didn't wait long enough before masturbating again, and it rubbed off, leaving the rawness exposed again. This repeated, sometimes with masturbation, sometimes sex, for months, in an addictive, self-destructive way. I finally went into the doctor to get an outside opinion and discovered that men can get yeast infections too, treatable by diflucan.

8. I think about sex probably 20 or so times per day.

9. Of those, about half include my wife, a quarter are pure fantasy or recollections of some image of pornography, and a quarter include women (and very occasionally men) I meet in my day's routine.

10. The closest I've come to cheating was the year before we got engaged when I got quite drunk after an out-of-town meeting and hot and heavy with a recent divorcee a few years older than me and in a much more senior position in the meetings. I grabbed her breasts on the dance floor. She felt my cock in the taxi. When her friend got out of the hotel elevator on 2, we kissed without abandon until 4, when I got out, looked back at her, and, to her surprise and a little my own, said, "I'm sorry. I love my girlfriend."

11. An occasional masturbatory fantasy keeps me in the elevator with her up to her floor and back to her room.

12. I was closely involved with my partner's pregnancy and labor and delivery. I was particularly awed by her during her totally natural childbirth. While I identify strongly as male, I am jealous that her body is capable of creating and birthing a child. If it was possible, I would want to be pregnant myself.

13. Until becoming a father and spending a good deal of time skin-to-skin with my little one, I closely associated touching and being touched with arousal. Now it's a bit more complicated.

14. I have two brothers, also both in long-term relationships with their first sexual partners. The monogamy of the three of us is a little surprising to our parents, children of the Sixties, who hint at the promiscuous lives they led before meeting each other in their mid-twenties.

15. Since the birth of our daughter, my spouse's and my sex life has been pretty hit-or-miss. She is night-nursing our two year old, who sleeps in our family bed. If I think I'm aware of non-arousing skin-on-skin contact, it is nothing compared to her experience.

16. These days we have full-on, classic, insertional, orgasmic (for at least one of us, and not always me) sex, with foreplay and grunting and the lot, at most once a month. Another one or two times a month we get naked, or digital, or oral together but stop there and fall asleep or are interrupted by the baby or get out of the shower and dressed and on with our days.

17. I am, I think, strongly feminist. I believe that a far wider range of human activities than regularly acknowledged is gender neutral, from excelling in mathematics to cooking to interest in cars or dolls or squishing bugs. I am enthusiastic to be a stay-at-home dad. I vacillate on whether sexual expression is gendered or not.

18. Among my friends are a few stay-at-home moms who I've met because we have similarly aged children. I've always made friends more easily with women than men. Two of the moms are separated from their husbands. I think of myself as attractive (at least I think I would be attracted to me if given the out-of-body experience) and "worry," in a narcissistic kind of way, that one or both of them will come on to me.

19. I am very curious what sex with other women would be like. The things that would have to happen before I could satisfy that curiosity (loss of trust with my spouse and cheating or divorce, becoming a widower, or a wholesale shift in our social milieu to something where swinging was perfectly normal and even conservative) seem so outlandishly painful or unlikely that I try to put it off in a category of "things I'd like to do in fantasy world," like walk on the moon or breathe underwater.

20. Despite my frequent masturbation, when I've gone a week or two without sex I start to get antsy, needy, and touchy. Intellectually, I know that, at most, I should channel that energy to creating the kind of romantic settings my partner has described to me as a turn-on for her, but I don't. A few times over the years she's mentioned that she like to be dominated, but I don't fulfill that one often either.

21. I find masturbating to be relaxing, routine, guilt-provoking, private, and usually quick.

22. I've come with a half flaccid penis and around 20 seconds of physical stimulation, when overwhelmingly arousing images and memories have surfaced in my mental space.

23. I'm interested in the sexual qualities of my anus. A year or so ago I mentioned to my spouse that I'd like to get an anal probe, which would be our first sex toy, and she indicated she'd be on board with exploring its use in me, but neither of us acted on it. I have had awesome orgasms masturbating in the shower with a finger up my ass.

24. I imagine sex with my wife will be more varied, intense, and frequent when we move past the stage of life of being parents to young children. I hope so.

25. Some of the sex we've had together is among the times I've felt closest to her, like I really understood her and could be express myself to her with fewer of the barriers I put up between myself and the world of other people. But that's been rare.

2011-06-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 29-year-old queer, European cis-gendered female. I identify as femme, but present much more androgynously in my everyday life.

2. The reason why I identify as a queer femme is that I prefer to dress in high heels, stockings and dresses when I dress up for something and want to feel really sexy. I'm fascinated by femininity and I love playing with it. I never consider myself “at one” with femininity, but see it as a sexual game more than anything. And I look damn good in heels. I am still looking for someone who really loves good underwear and wants to fuck me because I wear it.

3. The reason why I don't dress femininely in my everyday life is that I would never ever want to go through my life having to deal with unwanted male attention all the time. I present as queer, with a typically queer haircut, piercings etc., a lot in order to prevent male attention. To me, being whistled at on the street is degrading and un-welcomed. I am also very invested in the political identification of queer and queer activism, and the visual signs of it.

4. It seems I fall in love with female-identified and/or female-bodied people. However, I'm not attracted to pure femininity. It is always a much more complex gender presentation, or attitude, which gets me hot. My girlfriend has amazing breasts, and kick-ass boots. The combination makes me salivate.

5. I identify as polyamorous. I want to live my life being able to see love as an expanding thing that I can share with many people. I find it hard to practice and it forces me to constantly challenge myself, but I have very consciously chosen not to be monogamous. At the moment, I have one committed relationship with a cis-girl.

6. I sleep with cis-men too. Most often if I go out and feel horny, as they are often quite easy to come by. I have never had a relationship with a cis-man, and am not particularly interested in having one either. In my experience, sooner or later, men always say something really upsetting or offensive and I have mostly rationalized away that from my life, happily.

7. So far, only one cis-man I have slept with has had a big enough cock to make me feel it inside me, and hence enjoy the experience properly.

8. That said, I probably have to blame myself to an extent. I love fisting and can proudly say that I can take my girlfriend's two hands at once, and she doesn't have small feminine hands either. I generally really get off on the idea of having big things in my cunt, and being able to take it.

9. Once, I succeeded in being anally fisted too. I'd never felt like I'd given up control of my body like that before. It was amazing.

10. I used to be quite concerned about mess during sex, so generally avoided sex during periods or too much anal sex. My current girlfriend has freed my mind and I am eternally grateful. Mess is mess and easy to deal with. To be ashamed of bodily functions or fluids is too debilitating to adventurous sex.

11. I'm kinky and love power play in sex. I enjoy having someone as my submissive play-thing, and inflicting pain and pleasure on them at my whim, as much as I enjoy having someone controlling and pushing me to take both pain and pleasure when I am submissive. Learning to be submissive has been really important to me--I generally like control in life. It is about showing vulnerability and strength at the same time, for me.

12. The main reason why I love it is the trust that you are given by, and give to, the person that you are with.

13. One of the most powerful kinds of power play that I engage in is blood play, either with needles or with scalpels. Allowing my partner to cut me is immensely powerful. Sometimes I crave for her to drink of my blood; it feels like she's consuming my insides. Sometimes she cuts herself to let me lick the wound, a wonderful and super beautiful gesture. There is a nurturing and very, very intimate feeling, as well as violence, in breaking your own, or someone else's skin, in this way. I love the paradox between nurture and violence, intimacy and pain. I love the feeling of blood dripping down my body.

14. I am quite exhibitionistic. I work as a model, some of which is erotic photoshoots. They always get me very wet. Many of my fantasies revolve around being exposed, one of the reasons why I prefer to shave my pubes even though I refuse, on political grounds, to ever shave anything else on my body.

15. I am fascinated by sexual spaces, such as sex clubs and BDSM clubs. I enjoy having sex in such spaces, whether people watch or not, and I enjoy watching other people play. Sometimes a place can have a cruisey or otherwise unappealing atmosphere that really puts me off, but most of the times that I have been in such spaces I have had much fun. I prefer to go with a lover, although I have also had random sexual encounters that have been really great.

16. Even though I sometimes have to fight jealousy, I love the idea of seeing my lovers with other people. Luckily, I have been able to share both three, four and a fivesome with lovers and I get really turned on by them interacting sexually with other people. The image memory of the situation remains in my head for a long time. I feel both insecure and totally turned on by the knowledge that my lovers have a strong sexuality and strong desires that doesn't always include me.

17. One of the strongest turn-ons for me is feeling my lovers being really turned on. I also love kissing. Generally, if someone kisses me in a way that tells me that they really want me, I am lost. I often like force.

18. One of my biggest turn-offs is insecurity in taking initiative to sex, or the knowledge that someone is waiting for me to seduce them. I often take initiative myself and definitely don't mind, but situations where someone is displaying neediness for me to initiating sex often puts me off. It is a crime that also I am guilty of at times.

19. I started being sexual late, losing my virginity when I was 19. After that it took a few years before I knew what I liked and wanted out of sex. Since then I have found myself very curious about what I can do and enjoy with my body, and together with other people. I am lucky to have had two long term lovers with whom I have explored kink, poly and public sex, for example, and 27 other people with whom I learned even more.

20. At the moment I am curious about sex work and to what extent I feel comfortable or willing to earn money from my body, whether this is through modelling, porn or sex. Together with my girlfriend, I have begun to explore this, but I am eager to continue and get more experience. I am strongly feminist in my politics, so for me it is also about exploring sexual and body-politics through experience, rather than through theory. So far, I have found fucking a stranger for money totally uncomplicated. I don't know if that is a bad or good thing.

21. I have never felt ashamed of anything about my sexuality, only sometimes over how I have used it. I have learned that I have quite a strong sexual power and I like feeling I can get anyone that I want, which is sometimes a power that upsets people. I often find that once I know I can have them, my interest wanes. I also used to be rather bad at monogamy. These are not traits of which I am proud.

22. Sexuality is very important to me. I often want to explore sexual tension that I have with friends, although often no more than making out. I also find that in romantic relationships that I have had with people who at the time have been asexual, I have really, really missed the sexual aspect. I love meeting people on the physical plane and sharing intimate experiences, whether it's for an hour, for a night, or for longer. When it is not there in romantic relationships, I feel I am unable to form deeper feelings as I miss the naked honesty that is often present in sex. I also really like the energy of being with someone for the first time, even though, quality-wise, sex is often better with time.

23. I want to learn to use my sexuality and ability to give love as an exclusively positive force in my life, and to do that I need to learn to listen to other people and not always blindly follow my id. However, the feeling of being restrained from being sexually free is one of the worst feelings I know. I think one of the most interesting and important challenges of my life is combining the two.

24. From a previous lover, I have quite a complex about taking too long to come. I am very grateful to anyone who takes the time and effort to lick me until I come, or who likes watching me bring myself off. I totally love watching a lover play with themselves.

25. I often feel unable to get out of bed in the morning without wanking first.

2011-06-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 21-year-old woman who is unclear on her sexuality.

2. Recently, I've been fantasizing about having a penis--a lot. Most of my sexual fantasies in the past few months have been centered around the organ in one way or another.

3. Non-sexually, I'm completely okay with being a woman. It fits with my body, style, and personality. Sexually, it's a different story. This is pretty confusing to me right now, but I'm just letting it be.

4. These recent fantasies have a pretty interesting power dynamic. I've noticed that if I (the woman) am present as I am (in a woman's body) in the fantasy, I am the dominant party, and I always dominate a man. If I fantasize about being a man, though, I am always the submissive one, and a man is my partner about 80% of the time.

5. The other 20% of the time, when a woman is dominating, it is mostly in a medical context: nurses (in regular medical clothing, not fake fetish nurses) performing various tests on my sexual organs. The most recurring one is a test meant to take an entire day, where I, as a man, am catheterized (both for urine and for semen; I don't know if they do semen collection like that, but that's the way it is most exciting to me), strapped to the exam table (sometimes gagged), and equipped with an electro-stimulation machine that will go off every hour with little warning and continue stimulating me until I come. The come is collected in those little vacuum containers (like the ones they collect blood samples in).

6. I also have recently been getting turned on by the thought of public or unwanted erections that other people notice. Another theme I fantasize about is getting an erection (in one situation or another) and being told that I am bad or naughty because of it. Also, ejaculating in my pants and other people seeing it. Sexual embarrassment in general. Sometimes there's a portable version of the aforementioned electro-stim semen collection machine that I am forced to wear while going about my daily (public) tasks and I am repeatedly taken by surprise as I have to conceal an orgasm in a public place.

7. I think I would be a little bit of an exhibitionist if I was a man.

8. It just seems like there is so much more to do with a penis and all that goes with it than there is with a vagina and clit.

9. As of the past several months, my owning of a vagina hasn't really turned me on much. My clitoris is really just a means to an end, the end being orgasms. I feel okay about this, but I wonder what all of this out-of-body fantasizing is doing to me, if anything.

10. I am a virgin, and I worry that when I do finally have sex, it will be utterly disappointing.

11. I am open to experimentation with girls; currently, I would love to fuck one specific girl I know with a strap-on. She has expressed some interest in pursuing some sort of sexual relationship with me several times and in various instances, but only when drunk. I don't want it to end up being one of those "I did something stupid while I was smashed" situations, and I don't know how to bring it up when both of us are sober. But, I would totally do her with a strap-on if given the chance. (In my own solitary experimentation with a strap-on, it's wonderful if the back of it is positioned to hit your clitoris when you thrust. It feels lovely.)

12. If I ever was to transition to being a man (absolutely unlikely, as my sexual fantasies seem to change every once in a while anyway) it probably wouldn't fulfill my fantasies, as many of them have to do with come, and that isn't currently a possibility for trans men, as far as I know.

13. I orgasm about 99% of the times I masturbate, but the only position that gives me really good orgasms is face-down, with my legs clenched together pretty hard. That also worries me--I'll probably have trouble having orgasms with a partner. Most positions besides that one give me somewhat pleasurable orgasms, but whenever my legs aren't clenched tight, they end up jerky and a little bit unpleasant.

14. I'm fairly certain that if I was a man, I'd be a gay bottom.

15. I remember wanting a penis when I was young--I wanted to wear things on it under my underwear, like decorated socks or rubber bands. I guess this has morphed into my current interest in harnesses.

16. I think all of these fantasies are tied together by a certain power dynamic; for some people, the penis is a symbol of power, but for me, it is a symbol of vulnerability. Just think about it--the penis is external and open to pain, it gets hard and becomes noticeable under clothes (sometimes without warning), and it expels a sticky mess during orgasm. So, it makes sense to me to control it (on a man) or have it be controlled (if i was a man). It also seems like a source of embarrassment or humiliation, which really intrigues me when mixed with consensual sex practices.

17. I have very little interest in oral sex or the eating of any sort of sexual liquids.

18. One thing I would be interested in that pertains to my body as a woman would be an "Adult Nursing Relationship," or at least, lactating. Maybe this is because this is the closest I could get to producing jizz.

19. Since I was little, I've had a fascination with tubing of many kinds, laboratory equipment, and collecting liquids, especially in a medical context. I don't know if it was specifically sexual when I was little, but it definitely carried a sexual energy with it.

20. I want to, at least once in my life, attend an orgy or something like it.

21. I hope at least some of my future male sexual partners will be open to the idea of power play, specifically with them as submissive. Even if it's just every once in a while. I just don't think that a completely vanilla sexual life would be very fulfilling to me, since at least 98% of my (current) sexual ideas are kink of various sorts.

22. I masturbate most nights, but I think the frequency waxes and wanes with my menstrual cycle. I haven't really figured out exactly how yet, but I know I have less desire to rub one out for about a week after my period is over.

23. Most of the nights I masturbate, I'm not particularly horny beforehand. I mainly use it as a sleep aid in that context.

24. I love amateur porn, especially with solitary people doing kinky things to themselves. It's so much better than the mainstream shit because it's much more intriguing seeing what individual people to do get off. Everybody has their style, and it's hot to see people fucking themselves the way they want to be fucked.

25. In the event of an apocalypse, the first thing I'm doing is going around and having as much anonymous sex as possible. Then, I'm arranging a parade of some sort.

2011-06-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

1. I’m a 43-year-old male, straight, and in most ways quite masculine, but largely sexually submissive and very in touch with my feminine side.

2. My first recollection of a vaguely sexual feeling (although I of course didn’t recognize it as such at the time) was watching a women’s wrestling match on TV with my father at the age of seven or less.

3. The only aspect of my personality that I would consider to be a genuine “kink” is a consistent lifelong turn-on from women fighting, wrestling, boxing, etc. As my taste has refined, the preferred type of scenario has evolved specifically to be as brutal/genuine/realistic as possible, but with certain formalities, such as rules, a boxing/wrestling ring, etc.

4. My first orgasm was achieved with the aid of my mother’s Hitachi Magic Wand, and was so intense that I was fearful I’d injured myself.

5. My first experience with porn was reading a particularly juicy passage in my mother’s bedside copy of Marilyn French’s The Women’s Room.

6. Around the same time, I went through a brief period of taking Polaroid photos of my erect penis. The pictures were horrible, and, while the phase lasted, were an intense turn-on.

7. Although I never really thought of it as “bestiality,” and certainly don’t consider it to have been abusive, when I was in my early teens, I once enticed the family cat to lick my penis.

8. From the time I experienced my first pre-sexual “crushes,” I was most attracted to tomboyish, underdeveloped and in some usually subtle way “ugly” girls.

9. When I was in Boy Scouts, there was a woodpile out behind the meeting house where the older boys kept a stash of skin mags, some of which I pilfered. They were invariably tattered and water-stained.

10. My high school girlfriend was a skinny, flat-chested good girl who, though eventually going to third base, would never put out through five years.

11. Two months before graduating, I broke up with her to go out with a fast girl with large breasts and an English accent.

12. I lost my virginity on the bathroom floor of a strange girl’s apartment while her roomate fucked my friend on the sofa bed. I was almost too drunk to complete the transaction.

13. Some weeks later, I found myself in this girl’s apartment again, and during my second time having intercourse, the condom broke.

14. I have never been married, and have had only two relationships of more than a year in length.

15. I have had sex with well in excess of 100 partners over 25 years, and don’t consider myself particularly promiscuous.

16. I worked at an adult video-rental store in college. Though I looked forward to working with porn when I began, by the time I quit I mostly hated it and felt a sickening contempt toward the customers.

17. For several years, I dated an homely, fat girl in college. Though I loved her, I lived with the knowledge I would eventually have to break up with her because I wanted more attractive sexual partners.

18. I have never fucked a girl in the ass, and have never had a strong desire to.

19. I dated an earthy girl who taught me that I did enjoy having a vibrator used on my prostate.

20. I enjoy co-writing erotica with a sexual partner, but have mostly been disappointed in my partners’ efforts.

21. I dated a girl who played guitar in a metal band. One night when she was playing a show, we went back to my apartment between sets and fucked.

22. I dated a girl who was into the BDSM scene. She cut herself, and liked to be cut by her “dom,” who convinced her that I, an Eagle Scout, didn’t know how to handle a knife well enough to use it on her safely. This was my initial and lasting impression of the “lifestyle.”

23. I once found out three months after breaking up with a girlfriend that she had recently been hospitalized for a tubal pregnancy. I never felt guilty about this.

24. Though my drive and level of stimulation have diminished, I still usually masturbate once a day, and can orgasm three times in a day when given the proper stimuli.

25. Although I once thought it would be a relief when I got old enough that my sex drive started to abate, I now sadly realize that the equipment fails long before the desire does.

2011-06-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 25-year-old male. I characterize myself as cisgender and heterosexual, but on deeper though wonder if that is true. Over the last seven years I've been influenced by church life greatly - I've denied myself a lot of things and made myself feel guilty about a lot of things that I had done when I was younger.

2. I’m not a traditionally masculine person. I am very comfortable with girls; in fact, I’d go so far as to say I’m uncomfortable with most guys. I’ve always felt more comfortable socializing with gay men than with straight, and with women than gay men. I don’t feel the need to compete in the ways that men – at least men in Australia, where I’m from – tend to compete. I’m active, but I don’t enjoy competitive sports. I don’t tend to drink heavily, and when I do I prefer wine to beer. I don’t discuss my conquests, or boast about them. I’m not embarrassed by doing feminine things, or by spending time with women, or by holding my fiance’s purse, or indeed by discussing sexuality, which is taboo amongst most cis-het men I know.

3. I associate deeply with the feminine; if I could choose to be female for a time, I would, but not indefinitely. I maintain a fascination with feminine things; I love wearing makeup (I use theme parties as an excuse) and have had a desire to cross-dress, since a young age (10, maybe?) when I would sneak into the rooms of girls I lived with or who lived nearby and steal their underwear and hygiene products. I suspect this makes me a closet genderqueer; but I’m not entirely sure, because I definitely feel – and act - like a man, and I don’t feel the need to act like a woman. I think that, if I were to act out these urges, I would still have the same personality; I would simply dress differently and furnish my environment differently.

4. When I was younger I experimented with men; I still find myself attracted to the occasional gay man. Interesting, though, that I am never interested in straight men: almost always a very gay, usually very intelligent and self-assured, man. However, I’m definitely on the heterosexual end of the het-homo sliding scale. I find it very interesting that I can be on the feminine end of the gender scale (yet still be a man), yet on the heterosexual end of the orientation scale (yet still occasionally be attracted to gay men).

5. I am engaged to 'E', a girl whom I care about very much and expect to be married to for the entirety of my life. But I've kept most of my less conventional desires secret from her for the length of our four year relationship - although, to be honest, I've kept them secret from myself for at least that same length of time.

6. We are not having sex until we marry, secondary to a combination of my fear of what church people would think, and her having a condition called vaginismus which prevents her from having sex easily. I refused to sleep with her if it hurt her, and asked her to see her doctor about overcoming it; so far, she hasn't invested much into overcoming it before our wedding at the end of the year. This hurts me.

7. Our sex life consists of a lot of foreplay, oral sex, and manual sex. We're both very good at it. However, she doesn't really like to experiment. I feel patronized that she is put out by my asking to come on her breasts rather than in a tissue, or to swallow rather than spit. I'd love to have phone sex or Skype sex. I think her masturbating is the hottest thing in the world, yet she still keeps it secret from me. I need to have a conversation with her about what turns me on, because her response is usually "well, I don't understand why," or "it feels better when you do it," to which I should respond "That's not the point! It turns me on!"

8. I'm very excited at the prospect of us having sex.

9. I first had sex when I was 16. 'L' was in the year above me at school. It was a long, summer fling - I grew up in a holiday town. It mainly happened outdoors, because we were a secret - at the beach, hidden in the scrublands on towels, usually, with many interludes of swimming in the surf. I was impressively tanned that summer. We had a lot of sex, and I'd tried oral, manual, vaginal and anal with her pretty quickly.

10. 'L' introduced me to 'C'. I was L's guy on the side, and C was her girlfriend. That was when I had my first threesome, but C and I quickly fell for each other and spent a lot of time together. She took me to the big smoke, where I had my first orgy, and my first gay sex. It didn't really do it for me, to be honest; I've found that male sexuality isn't really a turn on, even though I can be attracted to males. But I didn't really stop experimenting for a few more years.

11. C and I were fairly vanilla, except that we cut on each other. It was intimate, and sexy, and exhilarating. She was sensible, and stole medical supplies from the doctors' surgery she worked at, so there was little risk associated with it. We stopped - I don't know why. I think we both felt it was wrong. I'm not sure I agree with that now.

12. C and L stayed in the big smoke together, and I went back to my small town. There I dated 'A'. We lived together. We tried some pop-kink (fluffy hand-cuffs), and used a lot of dildos, butt-plugs, and other assorted toys. I learned there that I quite enjoy anal stimulation, although I still haven't ever been fucked hard, and I don't know if I'd enjoy that. She quite enjoyed being penetrated both front and back.

13. Scratch that. I learned that I enjoyed anal stimulation when I was much younger. I discovered masturbation when I was around 13 - I was a late bloomer, I suppose. I did it in the shower, using conditioner. The houses my mother and I lived in were often shared with other families, and I would steal (as I've mentioned) tampons. I looked for something to insert them into, and clearly I only had the one hole. I can't remember how I lubricated them (oil?), but that's how I discovered anal stimulation felt good.

14. A and I were in a somewhat open relationship. We engaged in partner-swapping with friends on occasion, although to be honest none of those times were ever memorable. I'd never had one-night stands until then, and I think that was when I realized that they weren't for me - for me, at least good sex tends to be with someone whose body you know well.

15. From then until E, I had a relatively dry period. I was with a few girls, all of whom were unmemorable, sexually. I repressed myself a lot. I tried not to masturbate, telling myself it was bad. I dated a few girls who didn't want to have premarital sex.

16. Looking back over all of these girls, it's clear I have a type: Fine-boned, freckled, red or dark haired, smaller than I, smart but not smarter than me. Except for the hair color, E fits into these categories: E is a blonde. I think that my preferences have changed to mimic her - these days, I'm attracted to people for the degree of resemblance they have to her. I have a very expressive face, although I've been told by multiple girlfriends in the past that I under-express, so I now use it a bit more.

17. I think that I am an attractive man. I'm not super-defined, but I'm not flabby. I'm average height (5'9" or 175cm), certainly not tall. I have dark, curly hair, that tends to be worn long. I am bespectacled. I have slightly tan skin. I think that the most attractive parts of me are my hands, my calves, my neck, my eyes, my hair. The parts of me that I like the least are my thighs and bum (they are a unit), my love-handles (which ruin my back), and my shoulders: disappointingly, the areas that it seems to me women are most interested in.

18. My favorite part on a woman is the space between her anterior superior iliac spines (the nubbly bits at the front of your pelvis, at the bottom of your stomach), and the bottom of her breasts. I like different things about this space when a woman is on her belly or on her back.

19. I love flirting. The thing I miss most about being single is flirting. The thing I will miss most about having a wedding ring on my finger is that I will no longer be able to flirt honestly.

20. I love hugging and snuggling. I'm a touchy-feely person. The thing I miss second most about being single is not feeling guilty snuggling up to girls that aren't E. It's second-most, because I can snuggle up to her, but I've been living at a distance for the past while for work, and could definitely use some hugs sometimes that aren't forthcoming from any of my friends. But if they were forthcoming, I'd feel a little guilty. Yet another thing I should have a discussion with E about.

21. I've recently started cutting myself. I don't do it for attention - it's well hidden on my body, on the back of my left shoulder. I do it with scalpel blades, so it doesn't scar. I love the sight of my own blood - it's so red, and beautiful. I've photographed myself naked, turned on, and bleeding. I love the pain. It feels good, just a different good. I cut myself only during masturbation. I don't feel like me doing this is wrong. I am, however, very confused by it. I have come to suspect that I may be masochist, in the physical, pain-seeking sense of the word, and thinking back to earlier relationships, like the one with C. I have no idea how to tell my very vanilla fiancee about this.

22. I wouldn't characterize myself as submissive, or dominant, or a switch, although I love power-struggle in the bedroom, and I love make-up sex for that reason. I wish and hope that E will realize that and just take advantage of me, or jump on me and do something to me sexually, tell me what to do, or tie me up and do whatever she wants to me. I'm happy to instigate, but I wish she would do that every now and again. I've read that BDSM is a scale, in which case I suspect I slide from dominant to submissive, tending towards the submissive side; for me, bondage is a part of being dominated, but I could never imagine myself being hog-tied. My idea of being bonded and dominated is her forcing me to do things that I want to do, and being forceful about it, rather than her forcing me to do things that I don't want to do (which I understand is 'hard' kinksters' definition).

23. I've had a long struggle with my faith and my sexuality. I still believe in God, and I still go to church. But I do believe that much of the modern church has its attitudes to sex off the mark. Much of this is to do with the lack of positivity: The church’s people have a way of making people feel guilty about their sexualities; whereas I feel that the teachings of the church suggest that you should make people feel accepted regardless of their sexuality. I do believe, though, that sex is something to be kept for those you love.

24. I masturbate regularly. Sometimes I try to hold myself off from doing it – not because I think it’s wrong, but rather because I feel I need to exercise control over my urges sometimes. I’ve begun viewing pornography more regularly, and I feel less guilty about that than I once did: It’s fantasy. If I were to feel guilty about it, it would be because of the possibility of abuse at the end of production. The thing I am most turned on by is by amateur footage of women masturbating to orgasm. I think it’s the sexiest thing in the world. I wish that I could get the guts to ask friends of mine that I know are sexually active to video themselves masturbating to orgasm, because the only thing that would be sexier would be girls I actually knew doing this.

25. I once had a girl friend of mine masturbate in my room – she was horny, and couldn’t in hers because she had a roommate, so I offered her the privacy of my room. She did it while I was making dinner or something. I planted a camera in my room, and videoed it. It’s an incredibly sexy thing, that I feel incredibly guilty for, and hope to hell she never finds out. I wish I could talk to her about it, though: It turns out she does all kinds of things in privacy I’d never actually have imagined her doing.

2011-06-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 25 year old queer woman. I identify as a dyke, which I think of as more open than lesbian - I am attracted mainly to female bodies, but I know it would be naive to think I could never fall for a male-bodied person. I'm kind of terrified of falling for a man because I think it would involve another "coming out" (to most of my friends, I am lesbian) and reassessment of my sexual identity. And because I don't want to give up sex with women.

2. I'm confident in my gender identity as a woman, but I struggle with gender expression. I don't think of myself as either feminine or masculine. I wear men's underwear under skirts. I'm terribly attracted to androgyny and wish my body was more androgynous. It's definitely feminine.

3. I was 23 before I did anything sexual with another person. I was embarrassed at the time, but now I'm glad I had my first sexual experiences as an adult. It makes me sad when people have a hard time with being a virgin in their 20s because I remember feeling that way and it all worked out.

4. I didn't masturbate until I was in my 20s - I grew up Catholic, and it took me a long time to get over my shame about sex.

5. I've only had one partner. I came out in my early 20s; I never dated before coming out (I thought I was interested in men, but I never managed a relationship), but I started dating my now-ex very shortly after coming out.

6. My first time was the most wonderful first sexual experience I can imagine. Even though I'm not with that partner anymore, I love remembering it.

7. I've never had a nonconsensual sexual experience, other than being felt up when I was super drunk. I feel almost guilty that my experiences of sex and my body have been so completely positive.

8. I love breasts, especially small ones. I love the way two women's bodies look together. I love love love watching my partner suck on my breasts. I am pretty sure I could come just from having my nipples stimulated.

9. I was terrible at making out at the beginning, but my ex called me a prodigy in bed. I think I'm meant to be a dyke because my body just knows what to do with another woman.

10. Oral sex is another matter. My ex didn't like it, so I haven't had much practice. The first time I went down on a woman I almost gagged, it was so overwhelming. I felt awful then because lesbians only talk about how great it is to give, and I thought there must be something wrong with me because it took some serious getting used to. Now, I love it - giving and receiving.

11. I love the smell of sex. I especially love smelling it in her hair before I go down on her.

12. I refuse to ever shave for anyone. I did it once and thought it looked like a prepubescent child; it's so un-sexy to me. I'd prefer my partners don't shave either, but it's their choice. But I think public hair is hot.

13. I think I miss making out even more than sex while I'm single. Women's lips are so soft.

14. I've only tried a vibrator once, but I vastly prefer my own fingers.

15. I have better orgasms alone, but nothing can replace the feeling of making a partner feel good. I love the gasps, sighs, moans, wetness, contractions. It's so intimate to feel all of that from the inside of another person's body. I really love being inside of each other at the same time and responding to each other's bodies.

16. (Vaginal) fisting was the best sex I've ever had. I don't like watching it in porn, but it's amazing in real life.

17. The most intimate sex I've had was days after a vaginal surgery. I'd had bad experiences in the hospital, and my partner went down on me a few days later at home. My body felt like it wasn't mine any more after the hospital; when we had sex, it seemed like she was giving my body back to me.

18. I don't get why people find period sex repulsive. It's just sex, with a little extra clean-up. And I want it more than ever when I'm on my period.

19. I can't decide whether I could do sex without love. Part of me wants a FWB situation because I want sex but I'm not ready for a serious relationship again. On the other hand, so much of the fun of sex is being so intimate with a person I love so much. Maybe I should just think of them (sex with love vs. without) as 2 entirely different activities.

20. I feel like my social world is pretty limited to just queer women, and maybe I should have more straight friends. But it's so easy to associate with each other as queers because we're a somewhat distinct group, we share some common experiences in families and in society as being gay, and it's just easier to find groups based on sexual orientation. I don't really know how else to meet people in the adult world except by going to various LGBT groups / events.

21. My mother called me a "fucking queer" when I came out and tried to cut me off financially when I moved in with my ex. Thank goodness my dad is way more understanding and didn't let her take away my health insurance. The atmosphere in my home (aside from my dad) is very homophobic, and I really wish I could save my teenage sister from it - partly because I suspect she's queer and partly because I want to be closer to her.

22. I guess I'm pretty vanilla, though I try to be GGG. I can't imagine even experimenting with BDSM (I don't judge it, it just doesn't turn me on), and role-play makes me pretty giggly and shy.

23. I like (queer) porn, which makes me feel terribly un-feminist. But some of it is hot. Jiz Lee is my favorite porn star; it makes the little Catholic I have left in me scream that I have a favorite porn star. Erotica is more predictably arousing for me, though.

24. I have better orgasms when I can make noise. And I love hearing my partner's moans.

25. Androgyny is the epitome of sexiness for me. In men or women.

2011-06-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

1. I'm an early-twenties male who identifies as pansexual. I tend to be attracted to women more than men, but more than 95% of my crushes have been after getting to know the person as friends first.

2. I have more pornography saved on my computer than I like to think about, all of it categorized by type, but there's an OCD part of me that wants it categorized perfectly.

3. Despite this, I hardly ever watch any of it. When I'm needing something to visualize, I prefer to find stories online and picture it in my mind than actually watch it 90% of the time.

4. I sometimes write erotic stories, though I have to be in a particular mood and it all ends up as the same category. I don't know if there's something about the mood I have to be in to write, or if it's just easier, but even though I have plenty of interests only a very select few end up written or typed.

5. People seem to assume I have much more experience than I do, especially when I was at university. I've never corrected anyone I wasn't dating about this. I had a total of two partners during university – one was very long distance with no physical contact, one was during a summer break between academic years.

6. I've helped someone go from fairly innocent to confident dominant. Even though it was something she'd been looking for but not really known about, I'm still proud of "corrupting" her, and also that I helped her get some more satisfaction.

7. My BDSM mindset is mostly linked to the gender of my partner – if it's a M/F relationship, I'm 70-30 dom-sub. If it's M/M, it's much more submissive than dominant.

8. Even now, I'm still not sure if I ever really knew the first person I slept with – I knew what she told me about her, but things I found out later mean I'm not sure of anything about her. Thinking back, this is probably about the time I stopped developing crushes on people I didn't know and needed to get to know them first.

9. Despite identifying as pansexual, I've never had a relationship with another man. The closest I've been to one in real life was kissing a friend after a few drinks, and online was cybersex. Most of my friends have been straight, not interested or unavailable by the time I've gotten to know them well enough to develop those feelings for them (see 8).

10. Every partner I've been with who I've given oral sex to has complimented me on my technique and said I'm good, but I find it difficult to believe and always feel like there's something else I could do. This is related to:

11. I'm a perfectionist. Normally, I wouldn't relate that to my sexuality, but I always feel like I can do more, or learn something new and please my partner more than I am.

12. I've never said no to a date. I'd like to say that's because I'm so interesting and it's a great way to meet people, but it would be a lie. When I've been asked, I've always happened to be single and interested.

13. My favorite position to cuddle in is lying on my back, arm around my partner with them cuddling into into my chest.

14. I faked orgasms sometimes with my first girlfriend sometimes – she believed it.

15. I've had a no-strings-attached, friends with benefits relationship, but we both felt there was a danger of too much attachment before ending it.

16. I've never had a threesome, but I want to try it. Either MMF or MFF, but if it was MFF I'd want both girls to be bi, or I wonder if I'd be able to satisfy both at once.

17. My first sexual contact was with my best friend growing up, but often I forget about it because it wasn't anything meaningful; it was more comparing sizes than anything else with some touching. I still remember being really surprised at the difference in size between us.

18. I've both given and received anal sex. I can see why people like giving anal, but it's not my favorite sex act. Of the two, I prefer receiving.

19. My favorite thing is to give oral sex. It's possibly part of my submissive side, but I love to please my partner even if it's as a reward when I'm being dominant.

20. I've never had a one night stand.

21. I lost my virginity differently from everyone I've spoken to about it – giving anal sex to my (at the time) girlfriend. I'd not had any relationships beforehand, and being in one was something of a surprise to me, so we didn't have any protection, and she suggested it.

22. My girlfriend and I did everything but have sex on the floor of a friend's living room where we were staying one night. It was amazing, and even remained a secret from everyone who lived there for half a year, until one of them found out in a very drunken game of truth or dare.

23. My first piercings, post-puberty, were my nipples, partly as I wanted something that would be hidden from my family and because it always felt good to play with them and wondered how that would change it. Other than the time I got them stretched, they feel less sensitive and not as much fun to play with. It's quite disappointing.

24. I don't think there's much I'd refuse to try if a partner asked, even if that means me slowly pushing what I'd have considered a strong boundary (like breath play--the risk of doing it wrong and hurting the person I was with scared me. Especially as I'd been on the receiving side of that with a previous partner and found it more scary than fun).

25. After one relationship where I had problems lasting long enough for it to be really fun, I started learning about and doing Kegel exercises so I could last longer. Despite this, and continuing to do them, I never remember to try them during sex.

2011-06-11T08:18:00.001-07:00

1. I am a 20-year-old queer woman.

2. The only thing I’ve never found myself questioning about my sexuality is my gender. I think gender is very interesting, fluid, and up to the individual, but I’m proud to be a girl, a woman, female.

3. I don’t feel bisexual because that seems so limiting, or pansexual because I do note gender in my attractions, but I’m somewhere in there.

4. I LOVE boobs.

5. I love giving blowjobs infinitely more than I like going down on women, but I don’t find any of it demeaning or sexist.

6. I rarely orgasm during sex but I still love it.

7. I love to dominate everywhere but in my sex life.

8. I get off on doing exactly what my partner wants. I really don’t have a preference other than making them happy as long as I feel like they care about my pleasure.

9. I am polyamorous because I believe the world needs as much love as it can get.

10. I believe the idea my parents taught me--that sex is only for someone I love and wish to bare my soul to--reinforces the societal belief that a woman’s body is her most important feature. Intentions matter in sex. Just because I let you touch my body doesn’t mean I’m giving away everything or anything. Sometimes I just like to be touched. Sometimes sex is the most loving and intimate thing I do.

11. I shave my legs because I like the way they feel.

12. I think cuddling shouldn’t be considered so sexual. It’s cozy. People would be happier if they cuddled more.

13. I won’t have sex on my period because I don’t like it.

14. Sometimes I wish I could be a gay man.

15. I get off easier reading erotica than watching porn, but DAMN, sometimes it’s hard to concentrate enough to read.

16. I want someone to role-play a teacher/naughty schoolgirl scenario with me. I want to be the naughty schoolgirl and I want the teacher to be a man.

17. I want someone to handcuff me.

18. I love dirty talk and feeling like my partner needs me desperately.

19. I have yet to find a partner with any interest in my lingerie collection. This makes me both happy and sad.

20. I love to suck on ears.

21. I know immediately when I see someone if I could ever have sex with them. I’ve never been wrong.

22. I have no idea what I think about marriage.

23. I believe every type of sexual encounter is beautiful as long as all involved consent.

24. I believe consent is sexy.

25. I believe that if these things make me a slut, I’m proud to be one.

2011-05-27T23:36:00.000-07:00

1. Having a child changed the way I come. Before, I was a clitoris girl. Now, the inside of my cunt is a strange and wonderful place. To whomever it was who stitched me up, thankyouthankyouthankyou.

2. I have been raped more times than I can remember. I used to drink a lot. The time I remember the best was when I was about 19. Drunk again, and went back to some guy's place. He said he was a model. He grabbed me and fucked me til I bled. And then he fucked me while I bled.

3. I was also raped by a boyfriend. We had just broken up. He tied me up and raped me. There was a kung fu movie on the television.

4. I like to be choked while fucking. My father tried to kill me by strangling me when I was a teenager. I don't like to think about the connection between the two, but, y'know. Der.

5. I didn't have an orgasm until I was twenty. It took around three months of solid clitoral stimulation to get me to come. This stimulation regime was put in place by the same boyfriend who later raped me. You win some, you lose some.

6. I have recently exited one of the darkest sexual relationships I've ever had. He liked to be horrible to me until I cried and then he would fuck me. We both liked this veryvery much. It did something bad to my brain.

7. I was once in love with a man who wouldn't kiss. His father was a dentist and he would give me lectures about how unhygenic the inside of the mouth was. He gave me head, though. The boyfriend, that is, not his father.

8. I really enjoy my breasts. I'm pretty exhibitionistic with them. They seem to make people happy, and they certainly make me happy. I have often come from nipple stimulation alone.

9. Speaking of which, breastfeeding made me come often. I feel that this is wrong, and I feel that me feeling that this is wrong is wrong.

10. I masturbate at least twice a day. If I'm reading a book in bed, then it'll be more. Read and wank and read and wank and repeat.

11. I've never seen porn. I've glimpsed it, of course, but it holds no fascination. That's not what sex is like for me. Sex is about feeling, rather than looking. Porn feels like bad sex, like sex that I'm not present in. I disassociate easily, and have disassociated during the various sexual assaults that have happened to me. Porn feels like being disassociated.

12. I recently had sex with a few strangers that I'd contacted on the internet with the specific intention of having meaningless sex with strangers. Most of them were harmless bozos, but one was violent and disrespectful. This threw me into despair. I felt like there was something about me that attracted violent men.

13. I titfucked one of those strangers. It felt stoopid.

14. The man that I have loved the most got very sick. One of the reasons I broke up with him is that I couldn't bear the thought of never getting a head job again.

15. I would like to be more violent when I have sex. But I'm suspicious of my motivation.

16. When I was a teenager, I'd often marvel at how amazingly beautiful my body was. I still like my body very much most of the time, but sometimes get disgusted at its overwhelming femininity. This was particularly strong when I was breastfeeding. I felt like an animal. An orgasmic animal.

17. My mother once told me that the clitoris was a conspiracy by men to make women like sex so that they'd have sex with men.

18. My mother once told me that anyone who gave or received a head job was a pervert.

19. My mother often told me that no one was looking at me, and no one was listening to me. I've spent a great deal of my adult life making sure they're doing both. I do this, in part, by dressing and talking dirty.

20. A couple of days ago, a seedy tradesman called me a "tough bitch." This made me very wet.

21. I've slept with some women, but the memory of these encounters is blurry. Maybe it takes cock to make a clear impression on my consciousness. Maybe it was just the drinking.

22. I like cock. I like giving head. I really wish I didn't. I like putting lots of things in my mouth, and experience extreme oral pleasure. I hope my interest in head jobs is due to an oral fetish rather than a need to be humiliated. That sounds much healthier.

23. I would like to be a man. I've gone through periods where I've really been quite serious about this. I like big men, and men that are strong. I'd like to be like that. I'd like to be able to win fights.

24. I was sexually assaulted by a girl in primary school. I was at the beach on holidays with her and her family. Her father was a judge. I can remember little about the actual incident, but I do remember she was completely naked except for her sneakers. I have never owned a pair of sneakers.

25. Mostly, I feel like a big ugly face attached to a sexy body. When I fuck, I often shut my eyes. This is so I can't see if the man is looking at me or looking away because he doesn't want to look at my ugly face. The compliment I've heard most often in my life is "Nice Tits." I wonder how long they'll stay nice enough so that men don't look me in the face.

2011-05-26T23:31:00.000-07:00

1) I am a 21-year-old female, and I tell others that I am either heterosexual or bisexual, depending on who it is. I don't feel like I fit either category, though, because I'm not completely hetero (since I get turned on by women and lesbian porn) and I hate the term bisexual. There are too many stereotypes about the term bisexual and those labeled as such, and since I've never actually done anything with a woman, I feel like I can't claim that title for myself.

2) I only recently realized that the feelings I have towards women are more than just thinking they are pretty. I accept it, but I know others don't, and I hate that. It's a war within my brain more often than not. I think it's unhealthy. But since I don't know which community I fit it (LGBT vs het), it's hard to find solace.

3) I am wet almost all day long.

4) I've slept with two people, and both have been monogamous-in-love relationships. I am worried I can't have sex any other way than with messy emotions and love.

5) I think penises are ugly, but I love to get fucked by them.

6) I only recently found masturbation. Previous to these last six months or so, I thought masturbation was stupid (sex is better, after all) and that I couldn't like it--since, hey, I'm touching myself. It's pretty fab though, and I'm glad I re-found my body.

7) I love to be eaten out. When I get fingered at the same time it's like rockets in my brain.

8) I am disgusted by anal play of any kind, yet I hear it feels so amazing that I kind of want to try it.

9) I worry about my body during sex so much that sometimes I'm not actually enjoying sex and foreplay like I should. I'm with a new person though who I hope will become my partner, because he makes me feel sexy and I think I could enjoy sex more.

10) I read a lot of erotica. It's so fucking hot! Especially gay erotica.

11) My first experiences with sex sucked. I was with him for two years and that entire time I never orgasmed.

12) My first orgasm was with my second partner at age 20.

13) I never knew what a clit was (or that I even had one!) until my third year in college.

14) I like to be dominated. Push me around, tie me up, blindfold me, handcuff me, flog me... Definitely sexy!

15) I also like to dominate. I don't know which I find more erotic.

16) I bite and scratch. A lot.

17) I'm tired of having to deal with issues of consent. I wish people knew what it meant, how to ask, and how to appreciate what it is I am giving them without needing so much more.

18) I've never had sex drunk, but I think it'd be incredible since I'm more open when intoxicated.

19) Being high and having sex is fabulous. I've done it once and I have never been hornier or had every touch feel so great.

20) I don't have to have sex to feel good. I like kissing, touching, being naked. These things feel so great and people forget that there is more to sexuality that just sex (anal, vaginal, oral, whatever).

21) My one fantasy is that my partner dress up like either Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy and play out a scene from one of the movies.

22) My first female crush was on my best friend of eight years. She doesn't know and I don't plan on telling her.

23) My other best friend of seven years knows that I would live with her in an open asexual relationship for the rest of my life and be happy.

24) I never want to be a part of a threesome. I find them demeaning and not at all sexy fun for everyone.

25) Waiting to have sex with the person I'm sort of dating is excruciating, but I know the build-up is worth it.

2011-05-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

1. I'm 30, female-bodied, and I don't identify with any specific gender.

2. I swear I've got a "phantom penis," and I can get off with it. Most people don't believe this. I don't expect anyone to because of this.

3. I've had sex with mostly men, and one woman. I'm apparently skilled at oral with both.

4. I'm not completely satisfied with being fucked five ways from Sunday (and I LOVE rough sex), I want to be the giver as well. I've started up a collection of strap-ons for this.

5. I was completely aware of what sex was at 8, and nearly attempted to seduce my then 15-year-old stepbrother into taking my virginity then.

6. Bite me, spank me, tease me... but leave the hardcore BDSM for someone else, please.

7. People who claim anal is the best thing that's ever happened to them confuse the hell out of me. I've had it, and either the guy was shit at it, or I'm just too sensitive in that general area to handle it.

8. I've had sex in public places, just out of sight. It was kind of thrilling, but I don't see the big deal. Sex is sex to me.

9. I've had men of all shapes and sizes - there is such a thing as too small, and most definitely a too big! Keep it fairly average sized please, and a little curve is a GOOD thing.

10. I do like boobs. That's probably the only part of a female body that's typically censored in the US that I'm willing to have at. That one time with a woman pretty much ruined me for going down on any other woman.

11. I never kissed or had sex until I was 19. I did, however, make my own homemade dildos out of plastic construction set rods, tissue paper, and a lot of saran wrap.

12. Despite how lax I am on condoms, I am still perfectly clean, and have never had a real pregnancy scare.

13. My ideal relationship is a menage a trois with two guys. Bi, preferably, so that when I need to be off on my own, they can have at each other. I'd like to watch.

14. I get frustrated with men who insist all women will hook up with another woman if they're horny enough. Excuse me, I have toys for that.

15. I'm absolutely fascinated with the uncut male penis. I want to play with one so bad, but alas, the US isn't exactly the best place to find one.

16. I have a really bad habit of "skinship" - I have to touch and be touched, almost constantly. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, even holding hands. If I'm with someone, I just can't keep my hands off of them (save for when I need my 'me time').

17. Love to me translates as sex. If I feel close enough to someone in a relationship that I sleep with them, it's about as close to love as I get. When I stop sleeping with them, I'm not feeling it anymore.

18. I most likely come off as "dykey." I've got short hair, wear guys' clothes... but trust me, I'm very cocksexual.

19. Cocksexual - that's a fun one. If I'm feeling it, I'll do anyone with a dick. Gay, straight, trans, I really don't give a damn. If you've got a cock, I've got a home for it.

20. Astraphilia... one of my more interesting kinks. I'm turned on by watching thunderstorms. It could be because where I live and grew up didn't have many, but there's just something arousing about the unrestrained, wild power of a lightning bolt.

21. Despite being not very keen on trying anal again, I'm highly curious about "double stuffing." I also use a small anal dildo on myself.

22. I used to hump an inflatable dolphin I had as a child. I got off on it too.

23. I don't understand how women purportedly don't usually get off on vaginal penetration. I can get off on either my clit or with toys just fine. I suppose I'm just highly sensitive down there...

24. Giving head gives me a rush similar to long, slow sex. I do not expect reciprocation, nor do I frankly want it - I don't get off on it. I get off on hearing the guy I'm sucking off groaning and expressing how he likes it.

25. You could probably tie me down and have me listen to male sex sounds - not even a visual, and I'd get off to it. Something about those sounds really hits me hard, right down there.

2011-05-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

1. I am an 18 year old, cis, bisexual female who is totally writing this to avoid a ten page paper.

2. I am a virgin (how boring) and have never been in any sort of romantic relationship because I am awkward as hell around people, not because I don't want to (I do! I do!).

3. That being said, I am both terrified and excited at the prospect of sex.

4. When I was really little (2-4?) my brother and I would play doctor, and I really hope he doesn't remember (he probably does because he is two years older than I am).

5. My friend next door and I would act out elaborate sex scenes with Barbie dolls and Polly Pockets, usually where the female heroines are captured and forced to be sex slaves to the evil mastermind. They would eventually escape, beat him up, and go on with their cool ass-kickin' lives.

6. I was exposed to porn for the first time because that same friend had a stash of German porn magazines that her aunt sent her. Someone's mother found them and was very upset, but I don't think we ever threw them away.

7. I masturbate on the weekends because that is when my roommates are gone. My next door neighbor recently suggested that he can hear me occasionally. Oops, haha.

8. My favorite and most reliable way of getting off is my electric toothbrush (which is as loud as a jet engine, hence 7). This year was the first time I orgasmed by hand and by water faucet (wonderful!).

9. I started masturbating around 11 or 12 to role-play threads on gaiaonline (haha such a dork). I didn't find my clit or orgasm, however, until senior year of high school.

10. Most of my time is spent daydreaming. I am a hopeless romantic. Weirdly, though, I rarely masturbate to sexual fantasies. Masturbation has always been goal-oriented for me, and I get frustrated if I can't come.

11. I want so badly to talk about sex with my friends, but most of my friends in college are judgmental and prudey. I love reading feminist and sex blogs in my spare time, and that helps me explore my feelings about sex.

12. Speaking of judgmental and prudey friends, they are part of the reason I have not gotten laid by now. I always party with them, and it is awkward if I want to dance with a guy (let alone another girl) and I am the only person in the group doing it. Although at the last club I went to I did dance with a guy. It was nice, except he would not put his hands on my hip so he was just bobbing up and down behind me. I got bored and I was pretty sure my pony tail was in his face so I stopped. He did have a raging boner, so that made me laugh a little. On a side note, I love getting compliments from drunk people because they are so earnest and in awe. It is like they actually believe wholeheartedly what they are saying and they really want you to believe it to. It is so different from artificial, polite compliments, like "I love those shoes." I don't know, I just think being drunk is wonderful.

13. Only my very best friend from elementary school knows that I am bisexual (she is amazing and was not weird about it at all, mostly because she is miles ahead of me in that she is super smart and amazing). It is not that my other friends and family would be mad or disgusted, I am just afraid that if I told them they would treat me differently. Maybe I am afraid they would be disgusted.

14. My best friend is incredibly sexy, but I am not romantically attracted to her and I never had to explain that to her. That is why she is amazing and lovely!

15. Drinking makes me less socially anxious and more flirty, but I don't want alcohol to be a requirement for me having fun sexy times.

16. I think I would be very good in the sack. I like trying new things, am extremely conscientious, and am comfortable with my body. But what do I know?

17. Have I mentioned that I have never kissed anyone? Really, I am a sad case.

18. I love playing with my clit and have never gotten off playing with my vagina, but maybe that would be different with a partner.

19. Watching people kiss is incredibly sexy.

20. I cannot cannot cannot watch sexy things with other people in the room, though. If there is a passionate scene in a movie I get so embarrassed. I think I get embarrassed because I don't like people seeing me as someone who enjoys sex and that is messed up because I do! My American Puritan upbringing has totally screwed me over (pun unintended).

21. Another reason I have never been in a relationship is that I don't notice I have crushes on people until I am firmly in the friend zone, or when they are about to move away or something. I really need to be more aware of my feelings toward people. Also, I am more inclined to like someone when I know they like me, which is problematic to say the least.

22. I would love to try bondage (scary but very sexy), outdoor sex (sun on my skin!), food play that isn't too messy, any sort of position that is convenient--basically I just really want to have sex ASAP.

23. I would love to be shoved up against a wall and fucked hard (which would be easy because I am tiny). I think my submissive fantasies are all a result of me being hella lazy and indecisive. I hate being the leader or the one controlling a situation.

24. I am afraid of dying having never been in a relationship or even kissed someone. So depressing!

25. This site gets me hot and gives me hope that there are actually people out there who are having sex and I just have to find someone I like and who likes me back.

2011-05-23T23:13:00.000-07:00

1) I am a 20-year-old queer woman.

2) I used to identify as bisexual but I used to get so much shit for it so I identify as queer.

3) I'm genderqueer as well, but I've never bound my breasts. I desperately want to.

4) I am a polyamorous person; however, if the right person came along I would settle into monogamy.

5) I've never had sex with a man, but I am attracted to them.

6) I am very kinky. I love BDSM and generally tend to be the dom, though I am masochistic. I do enjoy being the sub from time to time. When I get piercings and tattoos, I get slightly aroused.

7) I have a list of places I'd like to have sex.

8) I went to my first gay pride festival this year. It was in NYC.

9) My favorite actress is queer and that really helped me accept myself.

10) I grew up in a place that was very homophobic, as a result, I suppressed my desire for women and it made severely depressed and suicidal.

11) I love to have music playing when I make love to someone.

12) Sexting is one of my favorite things.

13) I have penis envy.

14) My first kiss wasn't until I was 18.

15) I've only kissed five people and they've all been within the same year. All have said I'm the best kisser they've had.

16) I've only had sex with one person.

17) I used to be ashamed of masturbating. I thought it was wrong, and I felt so bad afterward that I stopped doing it for several years. Now, I like to get off at least once a week.

18) I am a feminist as well.

19) I want to fuck Kathryn Erbe and Mariska Hargitay. Simultaneously.

20) The sound of a woman coming arouses me so much. There are certain actresses' "orgasms" that I have saved on my computer.

21) Visual stimulation (pornography) never ever gave me satisfying orgasms, so I stopped watching it. In fact, it has started to disgust me. I'd rather read erotica.

22) I prefer women's bodies to men's, but I ache to have a penis inside me. I'm a petite woman, so it fills me better. However, men don't have the beautiful collar bones, breasts, pussies... Each is beautiful in a different way.

23) I'm terrified of tasting/smelling bad, so I compulsively eat fruits and drink a lot of cranberry juice.

24) As a teen I used to "roleplay" my favorite television characters. They had sex a lot.

25) I love to bite. I'm a huge biter.

2011-05-22T23:11:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a 27-year-old female.

2. I love my female body and feel very at home in it, but I don't think my spirit or whatever has a gender. If I woke up tomorrow as a man I would be very upset, but if I had been born and raised in a male body I think I would be just as happy with that.

3. I call myself straight, or when I'm feeling pedantic, mostly-straight. I believe almost everyone is at least a little bit bisexual, but that most people are so much more attracted to one sex over the other that gay and straight are useful functional categories, and that in this case I'm most people.

4. That said, there is a short list of people I regret not fucking when I had the chance, and all of them are women - dear friends who weathered the storms of adolescence with me. We were good kids; we deserved a little feelgood.

5. I have only ever had sex with my husband. We met when we were 20, and got married when we were 23. I am the only person he has ever had sex with.

6. Reaching orgasm with my husband is harder than by myself, but much more intense and satisfying. It takes time and effort and leaves me feeling very drained, so I don't go for it every time we have sex.

7. Lately I have started giving the name "orgasm" to the less-intense surges of pleasure I get for free when my husband chases his own orgasm. I don't always need to come to feel good, and my husband is stuck in the mindset that if it isn't an orgasm it doesn't count as pleasure. By allowing myself this inaccuracy, I validate both my own pleasure and the fact that my husband gave me that pleasure. If you think I'm rationalizing, you're not wrong, but the work of this thought is less than the work of trying to change my husband's thoughts.

8. I still masturbate fairly often, maybe every second day on average, although I tend to go several days in a row off or on.

9. I read a lot of gay male erotica written by women. A lot.

10. If I had an orgasm before leaving home for college at the age of 19, I didn't recognize or remember it. I learned in the unprecedented privacy of my single dorm, destroying 3 vibrators and a value pack of AA batteries in the process. It's one of my proudest memories.

11. When my third vibrator wore out, I switched to using my fingers because I was too lazy to go out and buy more supplies. Now I prefer my fingers - I've bought vibrators since and always end up tossing them aside.

12. When I masturbate I have the most ridiculous fantasies - verging on cartoonish. Nothing that happens in them would be possible, let alone pleasurable, in real life. I think it's the exaggeration that gets my brain going in the absence of stimuli from another person.

13. I don't believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in lust at first sight, because it happened to me. The instant I laid eyes on my husband I wanted to fuck him. After that I met him, got to know him, came to love him, started fucking him and hope not to stop until my heart gives out in my old age. But the lust came first. I maintain that it's the healthiest foundation for a partnership - not the walls and not the roof, but definitely the foundation. If you love someone but you're not attracted to them, what you have is a friend.

14. My husband was already my type when I met him, but he has made the type much stronger since. Virtually every man who grabs my attention looks a lot like him.

15. I don't feel guilty about looking at other men, and I don't get mad when my husband looks at other women. We're married, not blind.

16. The pornography industry makes me very uncomfortable - so much of it seems to be desperation prostitution on camera - and I was glad when my husband decided to give up masturbating to porn. I realize that makes my continued reading of erotica somewhat unfair, but at least with the erotica nobody is profiting off making real people do things they don't want to do in order to afford drugs or food or whatever.

17. Because my husband doesn't masturbate to porn, I don't say no to sex unless I actively don't want to have it. If I'm indifferent I always warm up and enjoy myself in the end.

18. Oral sex is a good illustration of my thing about the validity of sex that doesn't lead to orgasm. I don't orgasm from giving oral sex, or (usually) from getting it, but I still really want to do both sometimes. Giving oral makes me feel powerful, trusted and nurturing, and getting oral makes me feel worshipped. I ask for both regularly. Deep-throating without gagging is an item on my lifetime sexual bucket list.

19. We are neither of us interested in intercourse when I'm menstruating. Gross. Crampy Bloody Week is Blowjob Week.

20. One of the biggest perks of being married is not having to deal with sexual advances. I can be friendly without worrying that people think I'm flirting, I don't have to worry about whether other friendly people are trying to flirt with me, and anyone who goes past flirting into outright suggestion can be shut down instantly with a single reinforcement of my status. I love it; it makes my life so much less awkward.

21. Successful anal sex is another item on my sexual bucket list - both receiving it, and pegging my husband. I've tried a few things, and there is potential there for me at least, but we're kind of stuck. Both of us are grossed out by feces, but not committed enough to try enemas. Also I don't want into my husband's ass bad enough to work through the threat to his masculinity.

22. My sense of fashion and my personality are both mildly butch, and my body is tall and moderately athletic. I suspect a significant proportion of the people I meet assume I am a lesbian. Sometimes I wonder what people have passed me by because of this assumption, and whether my life would be different if I made more of an effort to be feminine. But I don't wonder for long. If those hypothetical people are stupid enough to think that and narrow enough to let that thought keep them from knowing me, I'm probably better off without them in my life.

23. My pubic hair is wiry but very sparse. I love the idea of a jaunty trim but every time I tried to do one the hair just looked scraggly and awful and I ended up shaving it off. Eventually I realized I liked masturbation even more without pubic hair, so now I stay completely bare by shaving and periodically waxing. I just enjoy being able to glide over my skin. My husband admits to appreciating not getting pubes stuck in his teeth but is adamant that I do whatever I like.

24. I don't know what I'm going to do once we have kids. I masturbate quietly, but our sex really makes the bed squeak and bang, and when I orgasm with my husband I tend to shriek. We may have to consider soundproofing.

25. Growing up I was taught to wait until marriage to have sex. I didn't, but the time it took me to work through and set aside that standard was time I spent not getting hurt by users and losers. I was able to go into my first sexual relationship with a strong sense of myself and an open heart, and the relationship grew into the still-ongoing love of my life. I must stress that I was never taught that not waiting was shameful or that my virginity was some creepy talisman, just that waiting was good and important and that I was never, under any circumstances, OBLIGATED to have sex. I do believe that I was helped by the concept of waiting and I will be teaching something similar to my own children.

2011-05-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

1. I am a 19-year-old, queer, genderqueer individual.

2. I'm biologically female. Sometimes I am comfortable with this, other times I am not. My partner and I have talked about either of us transitioning. We both say it could happen, but I'm usually pretty content with being a short, small-breasted female who sometimes gets mistaken for a 15-year-old boy.

3. I've been with my current partner for 10 months. We are in a monogamous, committed relationship. I can honestly see it lasting many years, if not my entire life.

4. I had my first kiss with a boy when I was 13. I lost my virginity with my partner when I was 18.

5. For me, queer means that I prefer androgynous people. I can appreciate the "traditional," cis-gendered female form, I just couldn't be in a relationship with one. I'm attracted to gay men, though not sexually.

6. My partner is very androgynous and I love it, even though I know my family and friends don't.

7. My parents and friends think I am a lesbian. Only my partner and people in my online circles know how I truly identify.

8. I love sex. I am horny very often and masturbate almost every day.

9. Masturbating isn't about orgasming for me. I just enjoy touching myself. Though it often does lead me to orgasm.

10. I am completely submissive when having sex. My partner uses a dildo/strap-on on me, goes down on me, and uses her fingers.

11. I once came to orgasm when she was sucking on my stomach.

12. I enjoy porn, but do not go looking for it. I can get off to mostly anything, but I love erotica most.

13. I love just spending time in bed with my partner, or alone.

14. I'm often confused about my sexuality.

15. I like wearing things that my partner finds sexy. She likes me in garter belts and thongs, but also in baggy jeans and plain shirts.

16. I don't really have any interest in fucking someone, or being dominant. I feel as though that sounds selfish, but my partner has no interest in being submissive, so it works out perfectly.

17. I enjoy kinky sex. I love, love being bitten and sucked on and I love having hickeys. I like getting bruises from sex and the idea of getting injured during sex (not seriously, of course). I think I'm too silly a person to participate in role-play. I love dildos and have a bad habit of window-shopping online for them.

18. I started masturbating at a very young age, before I even knew what I was doing. I first penetrated myself when I was 15.

19. My partner and I have discussed the topic of anal, though we haven't done it yet. I'd love to try it once, just to see if I like it or not.

20. I have small breasts, but my partner loves them. She has small hands and they fit perfectly.

21. My partner and I have a 3-year age difference. I see nothing wrong with this.

22. I love "sexting" and talking dirty.

23. I love when I touch my own nipples and they get hard and "bumpy."

24. I knew I was attracted to females when I was about fourteen, but I didn't come out until I was 18.

25. I wish I was braver in experimenting with my gender presentation. People in my town are not liberal and assume everyone is straight.

2011-05-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

1. I’m a 22-year-old female who is straight, and has only been with one person who is my current boyfriend. We have been together for about 1 year and four months. My entry will be almost a chronological story, as I find it’s the easiest way to write my experiences. It will also be quite detailed, as I actually don’t have anybody to talk about this stuff with (apart from my boyfriend of course). I’m a private person when it comes to my sex life.

2. I always seemed to have crushes on boys when I was growing up. Every year of school I had a crush on one boy or another. My first crush was on a boy in kindergarten, so I would have been 4, then! However I was very naive, and if one of them showed an interest in me I would shy away completely. When I was 12 I was playing a game with my best friend (a boy, also 12) and my younger sister and I had to hide in a cupboard with my best friend. He ended up kissing my ear and my neck, and at the time I freaked out majorly and didn’t like it at all!

3. I first started masturbating when I was 12/13. I started humping the head of a teddy bear (yes, you heard right!). It felt good but I was always incredibly guilty about it. Sex wasn’t talked about openly in our household and I was always a bit sickened by the way my parents talked about sex with their friends.

4. I was 13 when I had my first orgasm. My sister and I shared a bunk bed at the time and I was on the top bunk. I used the teddy bear pressed between the bed and my clit, and I remember it being the most amazing feeling. It felt too good. I was scared she heard me but to this day I’m not sure. She did catch me humping my bear once in one of the other rooms in the house, and she asked me if I ever came and I lied and said I didn’t. She said she sometimes did the same thing. This is the one and only time we’ve come close to talking about our experiences!

5. Since my first orgasm I’ve used the same technique to masturbate. Basically like pillow humping but instead of a pillow it’s a stuffed toy bear or occasionally a quilt. I especially like it when the nose of the teddy bear is pressed against my clit, and I’ll position the bear on the edge of a chair, or my bed, and I don’t need to move around much, just the pressure is enough to make me come. In fact, disappointingly this is almost the only way I can come, although I do come very quickly and it can be quite intense if I’m turned on enough.

6. The biggest turn-ons for me are reading smutty fanfiction or novels, and watching people in movies and TV having sex and moaning. A few years ago I got into watching Beautiful Agony. I find that site has turned me on more than anything else. I particularly enjoy watching the women come more than men. I’m not homosexual at all, but I think it’s because I’m a woman myself, so I can relate to them and know exactly what they’re feeling. I’m not a fan of porn otherwise. I prefer watching their faces on BA and fantasizing about how they’re masturbating rather than actually seeing how they are.

7. I also have a bit of a fascination with breasts. I don’t want to touch them or anything but I like looking at them. I’ve always compared my breasts with others since mine are quite small and I’ve always been jealous of women who can get cleavage, ‘cause I can’t!

8. It took me the longest time before I was brave enough to finger myself. Sounds crazy but I was always a bit scared about it. I hate the look of genitalia, even my own, so maybe that’s why? I had never used tampons for that reason (I still don’t, but it’s because I can’t be bothered with them). I think I was in my late teens when I fingered myself for the first time. It was rather liberating.

9. I have tried to make myself come by fingering myself but I ended up peeing, and it put me off completely so I haven’t tried it since. I have also tried clitoral stimulation with my fingers. I came close once, but I got too frustrated waiting to come so I just resorted back to my humping technique. It is obviously the best way to orgasm for me.

10. I never had a boyfriend (or first kiss) until I was 21. I felt inadequate for the longest time, wondering WHY nobody liked me ‘that way.’ I sometimes blamed it on the fact that I have small breasts, or my average looks. I’m actually glad I had to wait so long now, as it was worth it. And I don’t think I was mature enough for a boyfriend when I was a teenager.

11. My first and current boyfriend I met on the internet. We were from the same state and the same age, but were living in different towns. We talked for ages and ages online before we admitted we liked each other and wanted to meet in real life. He talked about wanting to do certain things with me, and it was the strangest feeling hearing that. I actually felt wanted; I had never felt that way before. I told him I had never done ‘anything’ before and he said he was willing to wait for me. (He was a virgin too, which was comforting, although he had done some other ‘stuff’ with previous girlfriends, all short-term relationships). Once we met in real life he moved to my city. It was 6 months into our relationship before we actually had sex. Yes, I made him wait that long... I’m not sure how he survived but it is a testament to him and our relationship that he loved me enough to wait.

12. Before we had sex we experimented in other ways together. I never thought I would be brave enough to do some of the things I have, especially because of my lack of experience. The first time we met I had never felt more comfortable in my entire life, it was strange but awesome. I thought I would be a lot more nervous and awkward.

13. From the outset I realised he was a very passionate and intense person and got turned on very quickly (he’s a true Scorpio!). Even when we first met, he had erections even while we were standing up and making out! It made me feel good that I could turn him on like that.

14. We became very good at dry-humping with our clothes on before we had sex. In fact we still do it as a precursor to intercourse. It’s a great way of turning us both on completely. I just love feeling his erection, and knowing that I’m making him feel good. I was a bit stunned at the time that I, Miss No Experience, could do that. But that’s one of my favorite things to do, turning him on, and making him come.

15. Eventually, I gained some confidence and moved on to hand jobs, and apparently I’m really good at that too. I never liked to look at his penis if I could help it... I think it all comes down to not liking the look of genitalia, as I said earlier. It’s probably a reason why I’ve never shaved my vagina, because I don’t want to see all the bits!

16.I’m not a huge fan of oral sex (on myself). It just feels weird to me and I am too nervous about it to properly enjoy it. My boyfriend knows this and hasn’t done it for a long time now. I have, however, given him blow jobs. I’m surprised I do because I swore on my life I would never give anyone a blow job (the thought of it was “really gross”) but lo and behold, things change as you get older! I don’t like doing it all the time, but every now and again I feel like doing it and he says I’m amazing at it, which is quite comforting. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I have never let him come in my mouth, though – that disgusts the crap out of me. He said he would like to come in my mouth but I’m not sure if I will ever let him. It kind of makes me feel guilty.

17. The first time we had sex it hurt like a bat out of hell because I was so tight and nervous! In fact it hurt so much that he never entered me completely and therefore never came himself, which I felt bad about but he said I shouldn’t feel bad. It was only after the third time that sex started to feel good for me.

18.I have never come during sexual intercourse but it doesn’t really bother me so much. I enjoy sex for the emotional intensity it brings and I absolutely LOVE it when he tells me he’s coming. Penetration DOES feel good for me even though I don’t come. We are also big on kissing during sex, which I love as well. I love kissing – and I’m making up for the fact I was never kissed for the first 21 years of my life!

19. We’re a bit of a vanilla couple and alternate between missionary and me-on-top positions, but I don’t mind too much. We have tried shower sex, against-the-wall sex and doggy style, all which I enjoyed but it was surprisingly hard to do. We’re basically still a young couple, and continuing to experiment. One thing we will never do is anal. My boyfriend doesn’t like the idea at all and I’m also turned off by it. One of my favorite things is morning sex. I just love how we don’t care how bad our breath is, we just want to make out and make each other feel good. I quite enjoy rough/hard sex, too.

20. His penis isn’t very long, but it’s quite thick, which suits me. I’m not fussed at how big he is. It still feels good to me when we have sex. He doesn’t care that my breasts are small, so likewise I don’t care that his penis is.

21. He has only made me come twice before – just by clitoral stimulation. I never thought I’d be able to come differently than to how I’m used to, but I did. It took a lot of rubbing of my clit but it finally paid off. Unfortunately this is a rare event, and sometimes I get frustrated and I think he gets frustrated when he teases my clit for ages and nothing seems to happen. I get very turned on but eventually I feel raw and tell him to stop. I envy those women who can come quite easily this way, when I can’t.

22. I have a fantasy about masturbating the way I do, and my boyfriend entering me from behind. I wonder when I will work up the courage to tell him that’s what I’d like to try! I’m still a tad shy about these things. But we have plenty of time to figure things out.

23. This leads me onto the fact that I’d be happy if my current boyfriend was the only man I was ever with for the rest of my life. I’m quite sentimental like that. We are both strong believers in monogamy. My Dad was my Mum’s first love and they’ve been together over 25 years now and I really admire them for that.

24. Randomly, I’d love to own a vibrator but I am far too embarrassed to order one, even from online.

25. Lastly, some of the best sex my boyfriend and I have had was in November last year. I didn’t see him for three weeks because we took a bit of a break from each other for certain reasons, but when we got back together the feeling was electric. We had sex about three times over that weekend (that’s enough for us!) but it was extremely satisfying. In fact some of our best sexual experiences have been after we haven’t seen each other for a week or two, and our want for each other is sky high.