1) I'm 19, a virgin, and don't plan on ever having intercourse, or getting naked in front of anyone. I only specify this, because when I've said it as 'sex' in the past, this causes people to think I don't want to be sexually involved at all with anyone, which isn't the case.
2) I have absolutely no physical, sexual drives myself, I feel no pleasure, nor am I ever horny.
3) Strangely, with #2 in mind, I'm an incredibly perverted person, and think about touching people at least 75% of every day.
4) I'm an incredibly open person sexually, and I don't hide it. There isn't a fetish in the world that could spook me, though the likelihood of my acting it out for a partner is another story. For the most part, I'm willing to oblige, so long as it doesn't involve my being naked, or anything that would harm my health. (I suppose that does limit it, haha. But you can surely talk to me about it.) I love being able to talk about sex for hours on end.
5) While I see nothing wrong with monogamous relationships, I tend to lean toward wanting something more open/polygamous. There's no reason to cut off the possibilities of enjoying other people, and especially enjoying them together. I'd love a three-way relationship, really. Or at least the chances for threesomes. Especially when you keep in mind #1 again. It leaves more options open.
6) For the most part, I'm about 90% dominant and 10% submissive. It depends on the situation, I think, but for the most part I much prefer being completely dominant, especially with women. It's always a hope that I'll find someone who's open to BDSM, but it doesn't seem it'll happen. I've met one, but nothing's ever happened between us.
7) I'm very inexperienced, despite how often I fantasize. I've only had any 'real' experience with two boys, and one girl. I only say 'real' in terms of below the belt. Generally, sure, I've used my nails over clothing to make people moan. (Boy is it fun!)
8) I enjoy yaoi very very much. Real-people porn is just ungodly boring to me. There's no real passion and everyone's so focused on the camera, or penetration close-ups that it just bores me. At least with yaoi, it's as if I'm not there, and they really get into it.
9) I'm in the fur community, and I've yet to find someone that isn't horrendously frightened by that. I have a thing for being really animalistic, with big, sharp teeth, growls, biting, pouncing, etc. The predator/prey aspect. And in a way, wanting it to be terribly rough, with me being thrown against a wall, or over their shoulder and tossed into bed.
10) It's odd, but I tend not to be attracted to boys in my relative age-range; either they're a few years younger, or much older than I am. Women, on the other hand, I find I prefer either my age, or older. Rarely do I ever like younger girls. This might change as I get older.
11) In my mind's eye, whenever I fantasize about being with a boy, I am always a boy as well. Yet, when I fantasize about women, I'm still a woman. I guess in general, that makes me really gay, hahah. I just love love two men together (so hot), so I guess it's only fitting.
12) Sometimes I wonder if had I been born a boy, I'd be able to feel sexual arousal.
13) I don't particularly care about intercourse in my daydreams, or in porn. Usually a guy giving another guy head is the sexiest thing in the world for me.
14) In general, I could care less about the actual genitalia of someone, be it male or female. While I know I need to do something to it in order to achieve the results I desire, it and of itself just doesn't do anything for me, if disgusts me a little. Sad, I know. The only thing I care about is the moaning, panting, writhing, gasping, struggling... It's the sadist in me that is mentally satisfied.
15) Hardcore punks are incredibly sexy to me.
16) I often wish I could be more androgynous. I find it ironic that I have the most curvy, womanly body possible, when I don't feel much like a woman at all. I'm sure the fact that I think more like a male decides what I'm attracted to.
17) Kissing really disgusts me.
18) Intelligence is a huge turn-on for me -so to speak-. If you have a good vocabulary and can articulate yourself, I am definitely going to be attracted.
19) I have a lot of fantasies about touching someone, primarily high school aged boys, against their will. Not raping them, though. Penetration is never a theme for me, as I've stated. But something about tying them down and watching them struggle against the sensations that are washing over them, making their stomach tremble and seeing their facial expressions is just delightful. I've never done this... it's all in my mind.
20) For almost five years I had an intense and confusing crush on a man 11 years older than me. He went back and forth on whether or not we could be together (He was my teacher in high school, and this made things a bit difficult. Then he quit...), but in the end, because of newly made distance issues and my age, he declined, even though he said he really wanted to. Sadly, even with how much mental mind-fucking he did to me, I'd probably take him back in a heartbeat if he said he wanted me. :(
21) I am unbelievably attracted to my friend of almost 11 years. He's two years younger than I am, and lives two hours away from me. For the past year it's been four hours, but I'm moving back home for a year. We've visited each other maybe once a year every year since I first moved, and since he was fifteen, have been steadily doing more. Or at least, I've had more time to give more, haha. I have sex dreams about him at least once every night, and he's the subject of at least 70% of all my fantasies. I have no idea if this will wear off, but I'm guessing he and I have made a silent pact that whenever we're both single (which has been the case for a looong time), we'll be friends with benefits.
22) I am pretty much the queen of innuendo, and can make absolutely anything sexual, and still be tactful about it.
23) For some odd reason, the sensation of being cold, and some sensations of pain (not good pain) make me have physical reactions that look and sound as though I'm thoroughly enjoying myself sexually. In reality, I'm not at all. I mean, I'll start shuddering and thrusting my head back, my eyes roll into my head and I moan. I really have no idea what causes this, or why. Perhaps my body's way of making up for the fact that nothing feels good and this just confuses the bejesus outta people? Seriously, I don't know.
24) I enjoy the occasional pain and blood play.
25) I find that I've been perverted since a very young age, despite the entire lack of physical arousal. Every day on my way to school in middle school I would narrate sex stories in my head. I still do that to this day, as having it in story-form seems to do so much more for me. When I was about eight, I remember thinking how much it made sense to 69, and at the time I thought I'd invented it. Haughty, indeed, but if one oral worked, why not flip around and do it at the same time?
Friday, May 8, 2009
1. Sometimes I fear that I may be asexual. While I love cuddling and kissing, the sex part seems like work to me when I am regularly having it. I make excuses sometimes as to why I "can't have sex" when I really just want it.
2. I have always taken pride in the fact that I am "not promiscuous" (whatever that means), but now am realizing that it's silly to put such restraints on a person. Sex should be enjoyed, and this previous notion has hindered my inhibitions.
3. I wonder if I was sexually molested at a young age because I feel like something traumatic happened to me to make me this scared person now as an adult. I have no memories of this however.
4. I first had sex at age 16 with my serious first love. He was Asian and had a really small penis which probably helped the pain.
5. I did not bleed, and wondered at the time if this was a bad thing. I thought it was important to bleed.
6. I have gotten remarkably more uninhibited as the years have progressed, and love this about myself.
7. I fake confidence with the men I am with because I think that they will think I am sexy.
8. By confidence, I sometimes tell myself that I am an actress and I try to be the best lover ever with theatrics; moans/ groans, facial expressions, etc.
9. Around age 3, I started making out with my stuffed animals.
10. Soon after, I would run my genitals over their faces and get very stimulated. I got caught once, and felt very ashamed.
11. My 1st sexual experience at 8 was with the neighbor across the street, she was 6. I am still guilty at the thought that I may have taken advantage of her.
12. I only get off clitorally and wish this wasn't the case. The boy I am seeing doesn't go down on me and I think I may need to end it- QUICKLY because of this.
13. I like to be dominated and told what to do when I am normally a very extroverted, domineering person. People seem to be surprised by this when I tell them. "YOU?!- really?"
14. While I have only hooked up with a few women, I want to be with many more.
15. I fear that my past jobs of having to impress men for my looks (not stripping) have jaded me into a really distorted way of thinking of always wondering what they want from me, and to be distrustful. I hate this.
16. I don't masturbate mainly because I get bored and impatient, but am working to overcome this.
17. My last boyfriend was incredible at going down on me, and I miss his tongue like no other.
18. Men who have been with many women disgust me.
19. I have always had weird, sexual fantasies with my father. This scares the shit out of me.
20. One of my small labia is much bigger than the other. I wonder if this is normal, and the fact that I don't know makes me feel stupid.
21. I push men away before they can push me away, and I attribute this to my father.
22. I have never had anal sex, but would have it with someone who let me do it to them 1st.
23. While doggy style is my favorite position, missionary makes me fall in love.
24. I have learned to love to suck dick, but wait a while in a relationship to do it.
25. I have slept with 11 men and 1 woman in 9 years, this is much more than I ever thought I would have done.
Monday, May 4, 2009
1. For society’s sake I label myself as a lesbian. Since I have never had a relationship with a man I think this is just easier. If prompted I am more than willing to discuss it further and have had some great conversations about sexuality with all sorts of people because of it.
2. I don’t really see myself as ever dating a man. I love having sex with them and often wish I did more often but I have never had any kind of sexual and emotional connection with a man.
3. I love women. I used to think I had a type. The girls who usually turn my head right away look gay; they have short hair, dress a little androgynous, and are short and little in general. This is what I used to think my “type” was. Now I realize I just really love girls and the female body and while the people I’m attracted to are normally considered pretty in some conventional way, they are all very different.
4. Recently I’ve been really into ‘straight’ girls. It’s not like I’m out there trying to recruit straight girls for my team or anything but I think I’m really good at picking out which ones are curious/attracted to me.
5. I am currently in a relationship with a straight girl. It’s been going on for almost a year but everything about it is very messy and undefined. I know we both love each other very much and we always make time to be together but we have never been monogamous for a multitude of reasons. We have both dated and hooked up with other people since we have been together which has made things a little rocky at times but things are still going very well.
6. I came out when I was 14. I started dating a girl I met my freshman year of high school and my mom saw us kissing goodbye one day in front of my house, this is how my parents found out I wasn’t straight.
7. I had lots of crushes on girls in middle school, these are the first crushes I can remember having. I thought it was just an intense desire to be friends with them. I actually didn’t realize what the deal was until a few months before I came out.
8. I lost my virginity to a boy when I was 16. He was 15. We were both high and at a friend’s house that often had parties. A few weeks before we had sex I called him up when I was with my friends and told him I wanted to fuck him, it was kind of a joke. I absolutely do not regret this in any way; I still think it is funny. After we were done I gave him a high five and said, “let’s go smoke more weed.” And that we did.
9. I have had sex with six men but have only had sex with one of them on more than one occasion. The only reason I have had sex with him more than once is because we happened to fun into each other again at a party and I was horny.
10. The best sex I have ever had with a guy was at my sister’s wedding. I was a bride’s maid and I had sex with the best man while a little tipsy outside on the church grounds during the reception. I just took off my panties and laid down and he undid his pants and we had the best quickie ever. I tired to find him on Facebook later but I couldn’t. I would have sex with him again at the drop of a hat; it was some of the most amazing sex I have ever had.
11. I have had two threesomes. One was with two other girls and one was with a straight couple. The one with the straight couple is much more memorable because the guy involved stuck his dick in my ass, literally. I thought he just wanted me to flip over so we could be doggy style but that was not the case. I think this would have pissed a lot of people off but I just went with it, even his girlfriend was kind of surprised about that. I think this is a pretty hilarious story, I tell it as often as is appropriate, most of my friends also thing it is funny.
12. In high school most of my friends were pretty promiscuous. Everyone was having sex with each other and having group sex. I know a certain amount of sluttiness goes along with kids who party but I think what we did was way beyond that. I left high school with a list of 30-some people I had sexual contact with and that was much lower than many of my close friends.
13. Since all the people I was around when I was beginning to come into my own sexually were all very open and un-judgmental I’ve become a really accepting and open person about sex myself and I love it. I love having sex and talking about it and I don’t have any shame about how my sex life really.
14. In the summer I am a camp counselor. At night since the staff have nothing to do but sit around in the staff rooms without TV, cell phones, computers, etc. So we sit around and talk and play games for hours. Most of the people there are shocked by how open I am about sex and all of the different experiences I have had though I do not consider myself very experienced or slutty I love shocking them and talking to them about sex.
15. This camp is also where I end up seducing a lot of straight girls. I have worked there for going on five summers and have gotten three hook ups/relationships out of it. I know if I would have acted on it I could have had more and I already have a girl I will be hooking up with there this summer. I love my job and I know I would get fired for this but I just think it is so fun to sneak around with girls and open them up to possibilities outside of heterosexuality.
16. I have seriously looked for sex online before but never quite followed through. I’ve only ever looked for men and I’ve stood two up. I think one day I will end up going through with it. Finding sex online is just so easy and you can shop around for exactly what you would like in most cases. I really like this part of it because that way everything is up front.
17. When I was younger I was really shy and always wanted to be the submissive person in a relationship or in bed. I seem to have a knack for getting into things with people who either want to be dominated or are not very experienced which I have found to my surprise, I kind of like. This is mostly due to the fact that I love getting girls off, any way I can. I don’t get off very easily during sex and I would much rather just concentrate on the other person. Having a girl tell me I am amazing in bed is probably one of the best compliments someone can give me. I especially love it when straight girls tell me they’ve had better orgasms with me than they have with a boy.
18. I masturbate almost every day. Usually I watch porn, the type depends on my mood. My favorites generally involve doggy style where the girl is laying down with pillows under her hips and the guy is laying on top of her and really pumping with his hips. I think I like this the most because this is how I would like to have a guy fuck me the most.
19. When I am watching porn, I usually get off from the way the guy is moving, though I also love the sounds involved. I almost always think lesbian porn is gross. I think this is mostly due to the fact that it all seems so fake and made for straight men. When I watch porn it is usually the real amateur stuff that you can tell is somebody’s web cam or whatever. Real sex is just so much hotter than acting.
20. I’m not really that kinky during sex. I like things like bites, and scratches and handcuffs and blindfolds, I also wouldn’t say no to having anal again. Besides those few things I am open to suggestions from a partner.
21. I love having my nipples played with. They are so sensitive that if I don’t wear a bra certain shirts and materials will irritate them.
22. In most all of the sexual encounters I have had in the last year or two the focus has been on the other persons needs. I do really like this but I also want someone to pay attention to my body. My current girlfriend doesn’t even really touch me or pay attention to my body at all during sex and while I’m OK with this for now I would really like to have a partner soon who wants to explore my body the way I have explored so many other people’s, I just want to know what it feels like.
23. I own a vibrator but I don’t use it super often. It’s fun to play with and gets me off pretty fast but I almost exclusively masturbate while on my stomach so it makes it a little bit more awkward to use.
24. I’d like to think I am a very attentive lover. I put my partner’s wants and needs first and I like it when people tell me what they like. I hate walking out of a sexual encounter that goes past second base without giving the other person an orgasm.
25. In some situations when I have had sex with men I am quite certain that if I were a different type of girl I would think I got taken advantage of but personally, I don’t think I was at all. While I think that things like date rape are despicable I also firmly believe in both parties taking responsibility for their actions. Our society has such a nasty prejudice about men and sex. I think girls need to be responsible and in some situations have the brains to read what is going on around them and learn how to deal with it. Plus, what’s up with sex being such a big deal to begin with? I don’t think I’ll ever understand why some people are so uptight about it.
2. I don’t really see myself as ever dating a man. I love having sex with them and often wish I did more often but I have never had any kind of sexual and emotional connection with a man.
3. I love women. I used to think I had a type. The girls who usually turn my head right away look gay; they have short hair, dress a little androgynous, and are short and little in general. This is what I used to think my “type” was. Now I realize I just really love girls and the female body and while the people I’m attracted to are normally considered pretty in some conventional way, they are all very different.
4. Recently I’ve been really into ‘straight’ girls. It’s not like I’m out there trying to recruit straight girls for my team or anything but I think I’m really good at picking out which ones are curious/attracted to me.
5. I am currently in a relationship with a straight girl. It’s been going on for almost a year but everything about it is very messy and undefined. I know we both love each other very much and we always make time to be together but we have never been monogamous for a multitude of reasons. We have both dated and hooked up with other people since we have been together which has made things a little rocky at times but things are still going very well.
6. I came out when I was 14. I started dating a girl I met my freshman year of high school and my mom saw us kissing goodbye one day in front of my house, this is how my parents found out I wasn’t straight.
7. I had lots of crushes on girls in middle school, these are the first crushes I can remember having. I thought it was just an intense desire to be friends with them. I actually didn’t realize what the deal was until a few months before I came out.
8. I lost my virginity to a boy when I was 16. He was 15. We were both high and at a friend’s house that often had parties. A few weeks before we had sex I called him up when I was with my friends and told him I wanted to fuck him, it was kind of a joke. I absolutely do not regret this in any way; I still think it is funny. After we were done I gave him a high five and said, “let’s go smoke more weed.” And that we did.
9. I have had sex with six men but have only had sex with one of them on more than one occasion. The only reason I have had sex with him more than once is because we happened to fun into each other again at a party and I was horny.
10. The best sex I have ever had with a guy was at my sister’s wedding. I was a bride’s maid and I had sex with the best man while a little tipsy outside on the church grounds during the reception. I just took off my panties and laid down and he undid his pants and we had the best quickie ever. I tired to find him on Facebook later but I couldn’t. I would have sex with him again at the drop of a hat; it was some of the most amazing sex I have ever had.
11. I have had two threesomes. One was with two other girls and one was with a straight couple. The one with the straight couple is much more memorable because the guy involved stuck his dick in my ass, literally. I thought he just wanted me to flip over so we could be doggy style but that was not the case. I think this would have pissed a lot of people off but I just went with it, even his girlfriend was kind of surprised about that. I think this is a pretty hilarious story, I tell it as often as is appropriate, most of my friends also thing it is funny.
12. In high school most of my friends were pretty promiscuous. Everyone was having sex with each other and having group sex. I know a certain amount of sluttiness goes along with kids who party but I think what we did was way beyond that. I left high school with a list of 30-some people I had sexual contact with and that was much lower than many of my close friends.
13. Since all the people I was around when I was beginning to come into my own sexually were all very open and un-judgmental I’ve become a really accepting and open person about sex myself and I love it. I love having sex and talking about it and I don’t have any shame about how my sex life really.
14. In the summer I am a camp counselor. At night since the staff have nothing to do but sit around in the staff rooms without TV, cell phones, computers, etc. So we sit around and talk and play games for hours. Most of the people there are shocked by how open I am about sex and all of the different experiences I have had though I do not consider myself very experienced or slutty I love shocking them and talking to them about sex.
15. This camp is also where I end up seducing a lot of straight girls. I have worked there for going on five summers and have gotten three hook ups/relationships out of it. I know if I would have acted on it I could have had more and I already have a girl I will be hooking up with there this summer. I love my job and I know I would get fired for this but I just think it is so fun to sneak around with girls and open them up to possibilities outside of heterosexuality.
16. I have seriously looked for sex online before but never quite followed through. I’ve only ever looked for men and I’ve stood two up. I think one day I will end up going through with it. Finding sex online is just so easy and you can shop around for exactly what you would like in most cases. I really like this part of it because that way everything is up front.
17. When I was younger I was really shy and always wanted to be the submissive person in a relationship or in bed. I seem to have a knack for getting into things with people who either want to be dominated or are not very experienced which I have found to my surprise, I kind of like. This is mostly due to the fact that I love getting girls off, any way I can. I don’t get off very easily during sex and I would much rather just concentrate on the other person. Having a girl tell me I am amazing in bed is probably one of the best compliments someone can give me. I especially love it when straight girls tell me they’ve had better orgasms with me than they have with a boy.
18. I masturbate almost every day. Usually I watch porn, the type depends on my mood. My favorites generally involve doggy style where the girl is laying down with pillows under her hips and the guy is laying on top of her and really pumping with his hips. I think I like this the most because this is how I would like to have a guy fuck me the most.
19. When I am watching porn, I usually get off from the way the guy is moving, though I also love the sounds involved. I almost always think lesbian porn is gross. I think this is mostly due to the fact that it all seems so fake and made for straight men. When I watch porn it is usually the real amateur stuff that you can tell is somebody’s web cam or whatever. Real sex is just so much hotter than acting.
20. I’m not really that kinky during sex. I like things like bites, and scratches and handcuffs and blindfolds, I also wouldn’t say no to having anal again. Besides those few things I am open to suggestions from a partner.
21. I love having my nipples played with. They are so sensitive that if I don’t wear a bra certain shirts and materials will irritate them.
22. In most all of the sexual encounters I have had in the last year or two the focus has been on the other persons needs. I do really like this but I also want someone to pay attention to my body. My current girlfriend doesn’t even really touch me or pay attention to my body at all during sex and while I’m OK with this for now I would really like to have a partner soon who wants to explore my body the way I have explored so many other people’s, I just want to know what it feels like.
23. I own a vibrator but I don’t use it super often. It’s fun to play with and gets me off pretty fast but I almost exclusively masturbate while on my stomach so it makes it a little bit more awkward to use.
24. I’d like to think I am a very attentive lover. I put my partner’s wants and needs first and I like it when people tell me what they like. I hate walking out of a sexual encounter that goes past second base without giving the other person an orgasm.
25. In some situations when I have had sex with men I am quite certain that if I were a different type of girl I would think I got taken advantage of but personally, I don’t think I was at all. While I think that things like date rape are despicable I also firmly believe in both parties taking responsibility for their actions. Our society has such a nasty prejudice about men and sex. I think girls need to be responsible and in some situations have the brains to read what is going on around them and learn how to deal with it. Plus, what’s up with sex being such a big deal to begin with? I don’t think I’ll ever understand why some people are so uptight about it.
1. I've wanted to write a list of 25 things about my sexuality for a while now, but have avoided doing so because I was a little afraid I'd run out of things to talk about before I reached # 25.
2. I was sexual from a very early age. I masturbated for the first time at around 3 years old and thought it was the most amazing thing I'd ever discovered. I wondered if everyone did it, and if so why no one ever said anything about it! I could have a string of orgasms at once, and have since lost the ability to do that.
3. I've always suspected that there was some sort of sexual abuse in my childhood, but have never been able to recall more than a vague memory and it has never really bothered me to think about it.
4. I grew up very confused about sex and relationships, mostly because my parents relationship never made any sense to me. My mother always told me “you don't need a man to complete your life” but I always wondered why she married a man she could barely tolerate, let alone love, made our lives hell at points because of it, but didn't leave him. I love my father dearly, but they were never meant to be together.
5. my first sexual relationship was with my best friend in elementary school. She, like I, was sexual from a very early age, and we would often have dry sex, and then laugh about it a little awkwardly afterward. To this day I remember the instant feeling of boredom I felt the instant the orgasm was over. Never did figure that one out.
6. I was never made to feel guilty about masturbation in any direct sense, but I always had a gross feeling of shame immediately afterwards in my adolescent years. I eventually talked myself out of that.
7. The first sexual relationship I had with a boy, I was 15 and nowhere near ready for it. He often would ask for sex, and I would refuse him, as I would have rather just hung out like buddies instead. Eventually I gave in and got pregnant. I miscarried early on, though being young and uninformed I didn't really know what was going on. It was only after the due date came and went, and there was no baby that I realized that there would never be one. I mourn that would-be child to this day.
8. That boy is now grown up and one of my best friends. We have sex occasionally, mostly because it always feels like coming home again. He has sexuality problems, and sometimes I think it is because of the way our first sexual experiences played out. I don't know how I feel about that. We have only ever talked about that pregnancy once, when I told him about it 5 years after the fact.
9. My next sexual relationship was with a long-term boyfriend of 3 years. I didn't much like having sex with him but LOVED when he would finger me. I think it was the closeness of it. He would wrap me up with one big arm, and slid his hand down between my legs with the other. For some reason I always felt as though I should orgasm when we were having sex so it wasn't often that I would let myself cum that way, I regret that sometimes.
10. I find it very hard to listen to my own needs in any sexual encounter, and often find myself eager to serve the needs of my partner whilst neglecting my own. I find it very difficult to 'let' myself feel anything if I am with someone new. I don't like that at all.
11. I am teaching myself to relax and to trust. Its a hard thing to do.
12. The man I am with currently is a lovely person. We are not sexually compatible at all at the moment, as he has had some major health problems of late. He is my mate though, the one that I am bound to, and I love him too much for sex to be a deal breaker. We have always had an 'open relationship' which has served well for the times when the sex has become frustrating or boring.
13. I know that at some point he and I will be on the same page again, and when we are it is gonna be one hell of a ride! (pun entirely intended :)
14. I have had several sexual partners while being in a relationship with my Love. We have had a few threesomes together, and it makes me dripping hot to watch him fuck another woman.
15. I have had sex with 4 women. The latest one, I am hopelessly in love with. Its a strange kind of love I feel for her. In my eyes she is the Goddess embodied, and it is a love that is borne out of mutual respect, sisterhood and a touch of lust that we share. That was one of the few times that I can truly say that I 'made love' with someone.
16. in recent months I have stumbled upon a relationship with a man that I never thought would leave the realm of fantasy. I have learned much from this person in our time together and sometimes I feel that I am meant to learn some profound life lesson through him. What that is I don't know, and don't really care much to find out. Sometimes I think what I love most about most about our relationship, is that he has never once treated me like I might break, and has been the only one (besides myself) to truly test the limits of my sexuality.
17. I hesitate to label myself into any one 'kind' of sexuality, simply because it changes so frequently. I love women, and I love men, and I love those who lie somewhere in the in-between. There are quirks and 'isms' about each gender and sex that I crave, and love to explore. It so happens that my mate has a penis. The reason he is my love, and no other, is because he loves me enough to be happy for me when its time for me to go exploring once again. The love I feel for this man is something that I would be hard pressed to find in any other person.
18. I like pain. The right kind of pain has the same effect as a killer orgasm for me. Its not the same feeling, but the same effect of 'release' just the same. A lover once bit me so hard that I had a decent hematoma to dote on for nearly two weeks. I loved the feeling of my shirt rubbing against it, reminding me of the incredibly intense moment it was given to me.
19. I think that as I get older I will find a kink and run with it. I am as of yet, too distrustful of anyone I know who would be willing to explore any BDSM fantasies I might have, but I'm OK with that, for now.
20. I have 3 tattoos. Receiving one in particular was one of the most erotic experiences of my life. The other two were immensely painful, which resulted in my putting myself into a very deep meditative state. I mention this here because my tattoos are, to a degree, an extension of my own exploration of my sexuality through pain and endurance.
21. I have a lot to learn about myself and my sexuality. I am young still, and most of the time I feel confused about who I am, and who I want to be sexually. This too, is something that I'm ok with, for now.
22. I love menstruation. It is a powerful and erotic experience, one that makes me eternally grateful that I was born a female. It breaks my heart to hear about young women who are ashamed of their blood.
23. I have been to a number of camping festivals, most of them spiritual in nature. I have had sex there only once in all my years of going, and that was with my mate. Interestingly, I have menstruated every single time I have been to a festival.
24. Children (a natural extension of sexuality) have always been a priority for me, and I have shaped my life thus far so that one day soon I will have them in my life. I have always had a huge fear of infertility, and have been told on a number of occasions that I will need a lot of help becoming pregnant. I am not inclined to believe that, as I have had two miscarriages in my life. Each of my pregnancies has taught me volumes about who I am and what my body is and isn't capable of.
25. As I go back over my list, to count how many 'things about my sexuality' I have, I am amazed at how easy this has been to write.
1. I should be Italian or something, not Scandinavian. Or maybe it's the cold that made me so furry. I have absolutely no interest in shaving my pubic hair. If someone is turned off by body hair, then they're definitely not right for me. If you can't handle my body as it is, you have no reason to be near it. It's just hair, nothing's rotting in there.
2. A friend was so disgusted by my pubic hair that instead of raping me he just sexually abused me. In a twisted way I feel like I beat him, at least a little. I moved away and changed my name.
3. He made me go down on him while he fucked my ass with a gun. I never want anyone touching my ass again, and when someone fucks my mouth I sometimes forget where I am and I can't hold back the tears.
4. I love my husband, but he makes me feel stupid. I can never be as literate and educated as he is. And I'm a pretty smart girl, I shouldn't feel this way. I compensate with taking responsibility of paying the bills and making the everyday life work. In bed I don't want to be the one in control. I'm sick of it. I wish he treated me like a woman, not like his owner. I'm submissive and he's clueless. We've been together for 7 years. All of my adult years.
5. I've had a lover almost twice my age for four months. I've spent two long weekends with him in his home country, fucked so many times I've lost count of all the orgasms he's given me. And I never imagined sex could be so mindblowing. It was a hundred times better than anything I've ever experienced before. He makes me feel loved and safe. Then he fucks me, takes me as he pleases, makes me come time after time, pins me down, calls me his dirty little slut. And I feel loved and safe. When it's time for me to leave to the airport, it makes him cry. So I cry too. I miss him every second, but I'm staying with my husband. I have no regrets.
6. I love the feeling of anticipation between my lover's spanks. I didn't know I liked spanking until I met him.
7. I should feel guilty about cheating on my husband. I don't. I kind of feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
8. I can come without touching myself, no squeezing thighs or anything. The last time was when my lover told me a story of having a threesome with a pretty girl we saw at a museum earlier in the day. I have no idea what he said, my mind went blurry the moment he started whispering in my ear. His words always arouse me intensely and I get off just from the sound of his voice. When we're apart I listed to audio clips of him talking. I'm beginning to know them by heart, I've stopped listening the words ages ago.
9. I have a body I could be insecure of. My lover makes me feel beautiful. My husband makes me remember the times when I was too skinny to walk on a windy day. Yet I love my husband to bits.
10. I've fallen in love with my cunt. It's the most beautiful and fascinating thing. Recently I've started to get soaking wet when I'm aroused. Finding a lover who understands my sexuality (probably better than I do!) has made the world of difference to me. I love masturbating, I love it when he watches me when I come for him. I love how the room is filled with wet sounds as my fingers slide in and out of my cunt. I love the visuals, the sounds, the smells, everything.
11. Before I met my husband I was mostly attracted to girls. Kissing a girl has an enormous sexual tension for me. I had a year-long relationship with a girl and despite the sex being amazing, I liked kissing the most. And after that relationship ended because of me moving away from my abuser, I spent a very intense night with a girl friend just kissing, caressing her bare breasts through her summer dress. We've never spoken of that night, but we're still friends and just thinking of her makes me want her badly.
12. I stayed awake all night writing a filthy email to my lover. I make the most of the time I get to spend home alone.
13. My clit is bored. And I'm bored of clit orgasms. I've always been able to get vaginal orgasms and lately they've been too good to be true. So maybe I'm neglecting my clit at the moment.
14. I'm hardly ever properly dressed at home. Right now I'm wearing a long dress without panties, but the dress is lifted up above my waist and I have the laptop on my bare tummy. I like being able to touch myself whenever I get the urge. Which is quite often.
15. I'm insatiable. My lover has made me come well over a dozen times in one night, while on Skype and live. I'm not sure if there's any limit to the number of orgasms I can have. I don't even get sore after long sessions like that. It's just my thighs that are shaky for days after all that trembling and convulsing.
16. I do believe I can be in love with two men at the same time. I love a lot. And I don't love my lover just because of the amazing sex, he's the second kindest man on Earth after my husband, and he makes me feel happy about myself. I'm fun when I'm with him.
17. Sometimes, when I'm sad, I go out dancing alone. I never dance for anyone but myself. I notice that men pay attention to me when I dance, but I just ignore all the pick up attempts, I never talk to anyone unless I really must, I don't look men in the eyes. I'm not dancing like that to arouse them, but to feel my body and the music. It's better than masturbating, even though I don't move in a particularly sexual way. The confidence I get from doing it only for myself seems to arouse people watching me. It's flattering, but I try to ignore it anyway.
18. I don't think I'm attractive, but it's just this woman thing. I know I'm attractive, just not in the most obvious way, but I'm not supposed to know it.
19. I think I lost my virginity at the age of 18. I had had sex with a girl before and I had been sexually abused, but the penis in vagina thing didn't happen until with my now husband. It was okay. Everything has been okay ever since. I know you must think what the hell am I still doing with him, but he's a good man. I can trust him, that's a lot from me. And he's not a bad guy to spend a considerable amount of my future with.
20. My first kiss was with a Mexican boy, on a cruise. I was 16. I told him to guess my age and he said 20. I let him believe it. He was 22. We kissed for hours, neither of us spoke good English, but the kissing kept us occupied enough. I bit his neck until it was full of love bites, and I still find biting someone's neck very arousing. I wasn't too attracted to this boy, he was good looking and all, but I was mostly just flattered by having someone express sexual interest in me. He was more like a boy next door than a player, which was kind of cute.
21. When I was in elementary school my boy next door, five years younger than me, kept begging me to show him my pussy for over a year. I never did, but it was exciting nonetheless. We stopped playing together when I went to a different school. Later we stopped saying hi. Then I moved away. Years later I saw him while visiting my parents, thought about saying hi, but chickened out. Three days later he was killed in a massacre, shot 20 times, just because he was gay. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.
22. I didn't bleed when I lost my virginity. I've bled after it though. Sometimes I can be a bit rough when playing with myself. It's just blood, not a turn-on or a turn-off.
23. I frequently had phone sex with a much older man when I was 15. I loved the wet sounds. I seduced men in chat rooms, not intentionally really. They were just normal chat rooms, but I had at least a dozen men or boys tell me they loved me even though they had never seen me live. Usually it wasn't even anything sexual, just blind and innocent love. And I kind of believe they really were in love with me while it lasted. I liked many of them back, but I was never in love. Dumping them was hard anyway. Though I did love the feeling of power I had over them.
24. I found Fanny Hill and de Sade's Justine in my parents' bookshelf when I was way too young to read them. They turned me on immensely, I used to read them at night in the light of my ugly orange flashlight. I don't remember how many times after school I had to go buy batteries. That's one of the reasons why I chose to buy a vibrator that doesn't require batteries. Weird.
25.One of the most sexually arousing experiences was watching a black and white avant-garde short film at a museum with my lover. It made my breath ragged and I was trembling slightly. Later we talked about how sexual it all was, the surreality and the moment we shared. The next time we met, we went to see the film again and I was so close to coming right there, him touching me through my clothes when people weren't looking in the dark room, my bottom pressed against his hard erection. My knees were weak when we finally walked out the room. I keep watching the film over and over again. I have it on my iPod, I've watched it on a train, in a waiting room, in the middle of a crowded market place. And the basically rather unsexual film almost makes me black out every time. Sometimes I touch myself all the way to orgasm, but when in public I just enjoy my secret arousal.
2. A friend was so disgusted by my pubic hair that instead of raping me he just sexually abused me. In a twisted way I feel like I beat him, at least a little. I moved away and changed my name.
3. He made me go down on him while he fucked my ass with a gun. I never want anyone touching my ass again, and when someone fucks my mouth I sometimes forget where I am and I can't hold back the tears.
4. I love my husband, but he makes me feel stupid. I can never be as literate and educated as he is. And I'm a pretty smart girl, I shouldn't feel this way. I compensate with taking responsibility of paying the bills and making the everyday life work. In bed I don't want to be the one in control. I'm sick of it. I wish he treated me like a woman, not like his owner. I'm submissive and he's clueless. We've been together for 7 years. All of my adult years.
5. I've had a lover almost twice my age for four months. I've spent two long weekends with him in his home country, fucked so many times I've lost count of all the orgasms he's given me. And I never imagined sex could be so mindblowing. It was a hundred times better than anything I've ever experienced before. He makes me feel loved and safe. Then he fucks me, takes me as he pleases, makes me come time after time, pins me down, calls me his dirty little slut. And I feel loved and safe. When it's time for me to leave to the airport, it makes him cry. So I cry too. I miss him every second, but I'm staying with my husband. I have no regrets.
6. I love the feeling of anticipation between my lover's spanks. I didn't know I liked spanking until I met him.
7. I should feel guilty about cheating on my husband. I don't. I kind of feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
8. I can come without touching myself, no squeezing thighs or anything. The last time was when my lover told me a story of having a threesome with a pretty girl we saw at a museum earlier in the day. I have no idea what he said, my mind went blurry the moment he started whispering in my ear. His words always arouse me intensely and I get off just from the sound of his voice. When we're apart I listed to audio clips of him talking. I'm beginning to know them by heart, I've stopped listening the words ages ago.
9. I have a body I could be insecure of. My lover makes me feel beautiful. My husband makes me remember the times when I was too skinny to walk on a windy day. Yet I love my husband to bits.
10. I've fallen in love with my cunt. It's the most beautiful and fascinating thing. Recently I've started to get soaking wet when I'm aroused. Finding a lover who understands my sexuality (probably better than I do!) has made the world of difference to me. I love masturbating, I love it when he watches me when I come for him. I love how the room is filled with wet sounds as my fingers slide in and out of my cunt. I love the visuals, the sounds, the smells, everything.
11. Before I met my husband I was mostly attracted to girls. Kissing a girl has an enormous sexual tension for me. I had a year-long relationship with a girl and despite the sex being amazing, I liked kissing the most. And after that relationship ended because of me moving away from my abuser, I spent a very intense night with a girl friend just kissing, caressing her bare breasts through her summer dress. We've never spoken of that night, but we're still friends and just thinking of her makes me want her badly.
12. I stayed awake all night writing a filthy email to my lover. I make the most of the time I get to spend home alone.
13. My clit is bored. And I'm bored of clit orgasms. I've always been able to get vaginal orgasms and lately they've been too good to be true. So maybe I'm neglecting my clit at the moment.
14. I'm hardly ever properly dressed at home. Right now I'm wearing a long dress without panties, but the dress is lifted up above my waist and I have the laptop on my bare tummy. I like being able to touch myself whenever I get the urge. Which is quite often.
15. I'm insatiable. My lover has made me come well over a dozen times in one night, while on Skype and live. I'm not sure if there's any limit to the number of orgasms I can have. I don't even get sore after long sessions like that. It's just my thighs that are shaky for days after all that trembling and convulsing.
16. I do believe I can be in love with two men at the same time. I love a lot. And I don't love my lover just because of the amazing sex, he's the second kindest man on Earth after my husband, and he makes me feel happy about myself. I'm fun when I'm with him.
17. Sometimes, when I'm sad, I go out dancing alone. I never dance for anyone but myself. I notice that men pay attention to me when I dance, but I just ignore all the pick up attempts, I never talk to anyone unless I really must, I don't look men in the eyes. I'm not dancing like that to arouse them, but to feel my body and the music. It's better than masturbating, even though I don't move in a particularly sexual way. The confidence I get from doing it only for myself seems to arouse people watching me. It's flattering, but I try to ignore it anyway.
18. I don't think I'm attractive, but it's just this woman thing. I know I'm attractive, just not in the most obvious way, but I'm not supposed to know it.
19. I think I lost my virginity at the age of 18. I had had sex with a girl before and I had been sexually abused, but the penis in vagina thing didn't happen until with my now husband. It was okay. Everything has been okay ever since. I know you must think what the hell am I still doing with him, but he's a good man. I can trust him, that's a lot from me. And he's not a bad guy to spend a considerable amount of my future with.
20. My first kiss was with a Mexican boy, on a cruise. I was 16. I told him to guess my age and he said 20. I let him believe it. He was 22. We kissed for hours, neither of us spoke good English, but the kissing kept us occupied enough. I bit his neck until it was full of love bites, and I still find biting someone's neck very arousing. I wasn't too attracted to this boy, he was good looking and all, but I was mostly just flattered by having someone express sexual interest in me. He was more like a boy next door than a player, which was kind of cute.
21. When I was in elementary school my boy next door, five years younger than me, kept begging me to show him my pussy for over a year. I never did, but it was exciting nonetheless. We stopped playing together when I went to a different school. Later we stopped saying hi. Then I moved away. Years later I saw him while visiting my parents, thought about saying hi, but chickened out. Three days later he was killed in a massacre, shot 20 times, just because he was gay. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.
22. I didn't bleed when I lost my virginity. I've bled after it though. Sometimes I can be a bit rough when playing with myself. It's just blood, not a turn-on or a turn-off.
23. I frequently had phone sex with a much older man when I was 15. I loved the wet sounds. I seduced men in chat rooms, not intentionally really. They were just normal chat rooms, but I had at least a dozen men or boys tell me they loved me even though they had never seen me live. Usually it wasn't even anything sexual, just blind and innocent love. And I kind of believe they really were in love with me while it lasted. I liked many of them back, but I was never in love. Dumping them was hard anyway. Though I did love the feeling of power I had over them.
24. I found Fanny Hill and de Sade's Justine in my parents' bookshelf when I was way too young to read them. They turned me on immensely, I used to read them at night in the light of my ugly orange flashlight. I don't remember how many times after school I had to go buy batteries. That's one of the reasons why I chose to buy a vibrator that doesn't require batteries. Weird.
25.One of the most sexually arousing experiences was watching a black and white avant-garde short film at a museum with my lover. It made my breath ragged and I was trembling slightly. Later we talked about how sexual it all was, the surreality and the moment we shared. The next time we met, we went to see the film again and I was so close to coming right there, him touching me through my clothes when people weren't looking in the dark room, my bottom pressed against his hard erection. My knees were weak when we finally walked out the room. I keep watching the film over and over again. I have it on my iPod, I've watched it on a train, in a waiting room, in the middle of a crowded market place. And the basically rather unsexual film almost makes me black out every time. Sometimes I touch myself all the way to orgasm, but when in public I just enjoy my secret arousal.
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