1.) I am a 28-year-old female who doesn't think the word "bisexual" captures all the nuances of what I feel.
2.) I remember being curious about sex since I was a child, although I never quite knew what I was I was thinking about or why. However, I didn't start masturbating until I was 16. That night was one of the most memorable in my sexual history so far.
3.) When I was in middle school/ high school I never felt very connected to my body unless it was through masturbation. I always compared my body to other girls' and wondered what they looked like naked. This was also the time I started to wonder if I may be attracted to women in a deeper way.
4.) Despite all this, I was still very attracted to men. I had a crush on my English teacher in high school and I would fantasize that he would ask me to stay after class, strip me naked and fuck me on top of his desk. I would have this fantasy all during class and I would blush whenever my teacher would look over at me. I still have a thing for older men to this day.
5.) I think about sex every single day.
6.) I once had a crazy sex fantasy involving Jabba the Hutt.
7.) I bought my first vibrator at the age of 20, and since that time have bought many more. I am always shocked when I read/hear about women in their 20s, 30s or 40s who still don't own one. I couldn't live without mine. In fact, I would say I am having a love affair with mine, and I'm not sure anyone could ever fulfill me the way "it" does.
8.) I lost my virginity at the age of 22 and it was amazing. I'm glad I waited for the guy I lost it with. I finally began to understand my sexual power. He became my boyfriend, and the real exploration began. We did every single position I think a body can twist itself into. He is the only man who has taken his time to ensure that I enjoy oral sex and come from it. By the time we broke up, I was able to come within 5 minutes of his tongue touching me.
9.) I have been with 7 other men since him, and I am waiting for the opportunity to be with a woman.
10.) I had a mini-three-way once. It was a disaster. My friend and I spent 45 minutes trying to just get this guy hard with a blow job, and nothing. We were both pretty annoyed.
11.) Despite #10, I would still like to try another three-way, except this time with an experienced couple.
12.) I love having sex outside the bedroom/not on the bed. I love it in the shower, up against the wall, on my parents' bed, the couch, on the kitchen countertop, on the floor, or in front of the window for everyone to see. I'm not opposed to the bed, but it just gets so boring.
13.) I love to wear lingerie, and I hate it when guys don't appreciate the effort you put into it.
14.) I love getting spanked.
15.) It's very clear to me now that what turns you on at 16 is very different from what turns you on at 26, and that your interests evolve. For example, I used to think #14 was degrading, and now it gets me wet. I used to like watching guys jerk off onto me and now I get so utterly bored at the thought of it. I used to be uncomfortable verbally expressing what I wanted sexually, and now I am obsessed with sexting. Nothing is narrowly defined anymore.
16.) My ex-boyfriend gave me a rim job in the shower once and it was so sexy. The most recent guy I slept with begged me to do it while I was giving him a blow job and while I was hesitant at first, when I saw how crazy it made him, I loved doing it. He has a pretty nice asshole for a guy.
17.) After I broke up with my boyfriend it took me a long time to find another guy who matched his passion in the bedroom. I met that guy last year and he broke my heart into a million pieces. I could not stop thinking about or masturbating to the thought of him for months. I don't know if you can actually crave another human being, but that is how I felt about him. I would sleep with him again in a minute.
18.) Some of my favorite porn involves watching a black man/white woman. I think a black dick is just so hot.
19.) More thoughts on porn: most porn creeps me out/severely bothers me. I hate seeing these women, with their straw-like blond hair, designer vags, and vacant looks choking on some guy's dick. I can always tell when men are heavily into porn by the way they fuck me. It is not fun to be used like a doll. I love a good hard fuck as much as the next girl but I think porn is doing little to show a man how to really make love to a woman. Foreplay is essential! Unless you only have 10 minutes to have sex, there is no need for rushing. Breasts should be slowly touched and licked. They are permanently attached to my body, so please stop twisting them like you are opening a door. The female anatomy should be a required study for men. There are a million ways to get a woman off.
20.) I frequently masturbate to the thought of women. I think a woman's body is so beautiful and sexy. Some women are so beautiful that they can stop me in my tracks. Watching two women go down on each other slowly makes me come the quickest. I used to wonder what all this meant, since I was still attracted to men and it left me very confused, but now I subscribe to the thought that sexuality is as vast and complicated as the universe. It doesn't have to make sense. You just need to enjoy it.
21.) What I wish we were teaching teenagers/young adults is that sex is nothing to fear and you are ALLOWED to enjoy yourself. There is such fear in this country about sex, and yet such an obvious obsession with it. Women are encouraged to be sexy at all times, but I don't think most people bother to ask "What gets you off?" I think a class in Sexual Communication should be required in all high schools and colleges. I'm also getting tired of hearing people badmouthing places like Planned Parenthood. You have to learn how to take care of your sexual health, and PP is one of the few open places for young people to go to. Plus any guy who has ever sighed a breath of relief when his girlfriend didn't get pregnant, you can indirectly thank the woman who inspired PP.
22.) I think sex is so much more fun in the dark. Makes it more mysterious.
23.) The older I get, the less enticing marriage and motherhood is becoming to me. My fantasy life would be to travel to many countries and have lovers in each of them. Each lover would satisfy a particular need in me. One can dream.
24.) I actually have a "fuck-it" list of men and women that I want to sleep with before I die.
25.) I feel that I am only at the tip of the iceberg of understanding sex and what I like.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
1. I am a 23-year-old female queer, sadomasochistic switch, both an exhibitionist and a voyeur. I enjoy a wide range of the sexuality spectrum and I have been sexually active since I was 18. At least that’s when I lost my virginity; I started exploring BDSM with my "sister" around 15.
2. I should explain my "sister." We are not biological siblings; however, we do consider one another sisters. We also have casually played with one another since high school. Have I mentioned yet I have an incest fetish? Well, I do. While this twisted relationship is difficult to explain, I know she will be a part of my life until we die.
3. Being kinky is a huge part of my sexual identity. All of my significant others since becoming sexually active have been kinky, which started out as a fluke. All of them also really love giving oral. I apparently have great luck when it comes to attracting mates.
4. When I say all of my significant others, I mean three men. Since I was 18 and became sexually active I have had three long term boyfriends, although none of those relationships were monogamous. My first two boyfriends lasted roughly two years each and my current relationship is going on a year. I haven’t been single for longer than a few months since I was 16 years old.
5. However, I have fucked a whole lot more than three men. I’ve been with twelve men and five women. Three of those individuals had been thirds to my boyfriend at the time and I. One individual was a part of a couple of whom I was their third. Four individuals were on a “fuck-buddy-kinda-dating-not together” sort of relationship and six were one-night stands.
6. I have kissed roughly 33 people, give or take some drunken encounters that I may not remember.
7. My mother and older sister (biological sister and 11 years my elder) have always been very open about sex with me. I’ve had “the talk” on several different occasions growing up and it included everything from penetrative sex, to oral and masturbation. The first time I ever masturbated was after such a talk, because of what my sister said. She said “how can you expect a man to please you, if you don’t know what it is you like?” I was 13.
8. The first time I did masturbate, I scared the hell out of myself. The reason being that I completely and utterly soaked my sheets to the point that I had to change the bedding. I didn’t know what had happened and worried that maybe I pissed myself. I wasn’t able to get off for a long time after that.
9. I started cybersexing when I was 13. I had a different AIM that I used for cybersex, and I of course would lie about my age. I didn’t want to lie too much, though, so I would tell them that I was 16. I did a lot of daddy/girl, teacher/student role-play with it. I did it consistently for two years; I stopped for a while and then dabbled with it again in high school. I haven’t bothered with it in years, though.
10. I don’t have body issues--in fact I actually quite like my body--nor do I possess much modesty. I don’t really care who sees me naked, in fact I really hate how our culture makes nudity a scandal. It’s a body, we all have one. I would think we all see ourselves naked at least for showers. And you know what: if we were all a bit more relaxed about it, I think there would be a million (at least) more people more comfortable in their own skin.
11. I cross-dress. I love being a woman and I love my breasts; but my breasts also feel oh-so-good bound in Ace bandages. I like binding my breasts and putting on male clothing.
12. And do I love wearing a strap-on. I love taunting my boy about how large my cock is before shoving it up his ass.
13. Remember how I mentioned I am a switch? Well, my boyfriend is my slave. He is the only person I dominate, however; the rest of my play partners are tops (or switches whom I bottom to).
14. This is my first M/s relationship, however, where I was the M type. I feel like I still have a lot to learn when it comes to that.
15. My thighs, ribs, sternum, and breasts are all currently deeply bruised from a play date I had three days ago with one such top. I also happen to have bruising on my throat from choking. It was marvelous and I still keep going over it in my mind. It doesn’t help that this particular top is one whom I have a deep and abiding crush on.
16. I have had sex on a variety of drugs. Weed is sexy. Smoking gets me horny and it feels so good to fuck around while stoned. I’ve had sex while on acid, mushrooms, ecstasy, molli, alcohol, and a variety of pills. Having sex while tripping is a more intimate experience, though, it’s almost spiritual.
17. I like public sex. I keep a list of all of the unusual places I’ve had sex. My favorite is probably the USX Steel Tower.
18. I usually masturbate at least once a day. On a good day, three times or more. If I’m bored at home, I masturbate. Occasionally, I’ll masturbate in the bathroom at work. My favorite is to use my bullet vibe on my clit. I have a couple dildos but I don’t like using them as much by myself.
19. I tend to masturbate more when my slave is in chastity. I like to tell him how often I orgasm, and I like to tell him how I do it for him.
20. I’ve had rape fantasies since I was young. When I told my first boyfriend about it, however, he refused to rape me. He thought I would find the reality to be less appealing than the fantasy. However, my second boyfriend did indulge in my fantasies, and I have not found that theory to hold true for me.
21. I don’t much care for porn. It doesn’t do much for me; usually I just end up making fun of the girls for being so fake. I prefer written erotica, and oddly enough I really like hentai.
22. I really, really, really want to date a girl. My second boyfriend and I had our own girlfriend for some time, but I want my own girlfriend. I was on a mission after breaking up with my second boyfriend to find a girl to date, but I tend to be shyer with girls. And it seems like girls don’t hit on me as often as men do, and I’m always worried about barking up the wrong tree.
23. While this isn’t exactly sexual, I need physical touch to stay sane. I am an incredibly affectionate person with the people I trust and care about; hugs, pets, head rubs are all awesome things. If I become deprived of physical affection, I become moody and temperamental.
24. I think cheating is one of the worst things you can do to a person. There’s no excuse, ever. It’s wrong, it’s emotionally trying, and one should have more control over their desires than that. This is a stance that I believed in when I was a kid, and I believe it even more after I have cheated on my first boyfriend (although when I cheated on my boyfriend it was with kisses and not sex, not that it makes it better but it makes me feel a little less of a horrible human being) and was cheated on by my first and second boyfriends. I don’t excuse my previous actions, but at least I’ve learned from them. I will never cheat on anybody again.
25. I will never do an on-again-off-again relationship again. I am the product of an on-again-off-again and I always swore I wouldn’t do it. However, with my second boyfriend, I did. It’s difficult to say how long we were together because we broke up three times and got back together twice within 2/3 years. Even after the last time we broke up we continued to fuck for at least 6 months without “being together.” It ended in a flaming ball of misery and it wouldn’t have if we had just ended it cleanly the first time. Blame it on being stupid, young and in love.
2. I should explain my "sister." We are not biological siblings; however, we do consider one another sisters. We also have casually played with one another since high school. Have I mentioned yet I have an incest fetish? Well, I do. While this twisted relationship is difficult to explain, I know she will be a part of my life until we die.
3. Being kinky is a huge part of my sexual identity. All of my significant others since becoming sexually active have been kinky, which started out as a fluke. All of them also really love giving oral. I apparently have great luck when it comes to attracting mates.
4. When I say all of my significant others, I mean three men. Since I was 18 and became sexually active I have had three long term boyfriends, although none of those relationships were monogamous. My first two boyfriends lasted roughly two years each and my current relationship is going on a year. I haven’t been single for longer than a few months since I was 16 years old.
5. However, I have fucked a whole lot more than three men. I’ve been with twelve men and five women. Three of those individuals had been thirds to my boyfriend at the time and I. One individual was a part of a couple of whom I was their third. Four individuals were on a “fuck-buddy-kinda-dating-not together” sort of relationship and six were one-night stands.
6. I have kissed roughly 33 people, give or take some drunken encounters that I may not remember.
7. My mother and older sister (biological sister and 11 years my elder) have always been very open about sex with me. I’ve had “the talk” on several different occasions growing up and it included everything from penetrative sex, to oral and masturbation. The first time I ever masturbated was after such a talk, because of what my sister said. She said “how can you expect a man to please you, if you don’t know what it is you like?” I was 13.
8. The first time I did masturbate, I scared the hell out of myself. The reason being that I completely and utterly soaked my sheets to the point that I had to change the bedding. I didn’t know what had happened and worried that maybe I pissed myself. I wasn’t able to get off for a long time after that.
9. I started cybersexing when I was 13. I had a different AIM that I used for cybersex, and I of course would lie about my age. I didn’t want to lie too much, though, so I would tell them that I was 16. I did a lot of daddy/girl, teacher/student role-play with it. I did it consistently for two years; I stopped for a while and then dabbled with it again in high school. I haven’t bothered with it in years, though.
10. I don’t have body issues--in fact I actually quite like my body--nor do I possess much modesty. I don’t really care who sees me naked, in fact I really hate how our culture makes nudity a scandal. It’s a body, we all have one. I would think we all see ourselves naked at least for showers. And you know what: if we were all a bit more relaxed about it, I think there would be a million (at least) more people more comfortable in their own skin.
11. I cross-dress. I love being a woman and I love my breasts; but my breasts also feel oh-so-good bound in Ace bandages. I like binding my breasts and putting on male clothing.
12. And do I love wearing a strap-on. I love taunting my boy about how large my cock is before shoving it up his ass.
13. Remember how I mentioned I am a switch? Well, my boyfriend is my slave. He is the only person I dominate, however; the rest of my play partners are tops (or switches whom I bottom to).
14. This is my first M/s relationship, however, where I was the M type. I feel like I still have a lot to learn when it comes to that.
15. My thighs, ribs, sternum, and breasts are all currently deeply bruised from a play date I had three days ago with one such top. I also happen to have bruising on my throat from choking. It was marvelous and I still keep going over it in my mind. It doesn’t help that this particular top is one whom I have a deep and abiding crush on.
16. I have had sex on a variety of drugs. Weed is sexy. Smoking gets me horny and it feels so good to fuck around while stoned. I’ve had sex while on acid, mushrooms, ecstasy, molli, alcohol, and a variety of pills. Having sex while tripping is a more intimate experience, though, it’s almost spiritual.
17. I like public sex. I keep a list of all of the unusual places I’ve had sex. My favorite is probably the USX Steel Tower.
18. I usually masturbate at least once a day. On a good day, three times or more. If I’m bored at home, I masturbate. Occasionally, I’ll masturbate in the bathroom at work. My favorite is to use my bullet vibe on my clit. I have a couple dildos but I don’t like using them as much by myself.
19. I tend to masturbate more when my slave is in chastity. I like to tell him how often I orgasm, and I like to tell him how I do it for him.
20. I’ve had rape fantasies since I was young. When I told my first boyfriend about it, however, he refused to rape me. He thought I would find the reality to be less appealing than the fantasy. However, my second boyfriend did indulge in my fantasies, and I have not found that theory to hold true for me.
21. I don’t much care for porn. It doesn’t do much for me; usually I just end up making fun of the girls for being so fake. I prefer written erotica, and oddly enough I really like hentai.
22. I really, really, really want to date a girl. My second boyfriend and I had our own girlfriend for some time, but I want my own girlfriend. I was on a mission after breaking up with my second boyfriend to find a girl to date, but I tend to be shyer with girls. And it seems like girls don’t hit on me as often as men do, and I’m always worried about barking up the wrong tree.
23. While this isn’t exactly sexual, I need physical touch to stay sane. I am an incredibly affectionate person with the people I trust and care about; hugs, pets, head rubs are all awesome things. If I become deprived of physical affection, I become moody and temperamental.
24. I think cheating is one of the worst things you can do to a person. There’s no excuse, ever. It’s wrong, it’s emotionally trying, and one should have more control over their desires than that. This is a stance that I believed in when I was a kid, and I believe it even more after I have cheated on my first boyfriend (although when I cheated on my boyfriend it was with kisses and not sex, not that it makes it better but it makes me feel a little less of a horrible human being) and was cheated on by my first and second boyfriends. I don’t excuse my previous actions, but at least I’ve learned from them. I will never cheat on anybody again.
25. I will never do an on-again-off-again relationship again. I am the product of an on-again-off-again and I always swore I wouldn’t do it. However, with my second boyfriend, I did. It’s difficult to say how long we were together because we broke up three times and got back together twice within 2/3 years. Even after the last time we broke up we continued to fuck for at least 6 months without “being together.” It ended in a flaming ball of misery and it wouldn’t have if we had just ended it cleanly the first time. Blame it on being stupid, young and in love.
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