Saturday, April 7, 2012

1) I am 22, female-bodied and of ever-changing sexual orientation.

2) I go for effeminate men: long hair, slim, beautiful in their own way. Although sometimes I can’t keep my mind off the men with the big muscles and deep voices, but they scare me.

3) As for women, I usually go for the girls that I admire: either curvy, wide hips, beautiful face, big eyes, full breasts. Or the adorable little androgynous, slim girls with the pixie haircuts and shy faces.

4) I, myself, am fairly tall, curvy and, I like to think, quite pretty. Well, apparently I’m “striking”. I have fantastically large, sensitive breasts and slutty eyes.

5) My sex-drive has two gears: off and ON! I’m usually more turned to ON! than off.

6) Despite an openness towards sex (I love talking about sex, my postgrad degree focuses on the history of pornography and prostitution) and a love of trying out new things, I do feel a fair amount of shyness about the act itself. Luckily I have a very understanding partner.

7) Part of this shyness stems from feelings of inadequacy because I’m unable to come other than from clitoral stimulation (although that does result in completely explosive orgasms – lucky me!) and only once each session. And even then it takes a while, which I feel limits possibilities. To treat myself and my partner occasionally I make the decision to not come at all and just enjoy sex in as many silly positions as possible. I find this sort of sex a lot more liberating, a lot less stressful and a lot more fun, although it ultimately ends in huge amounts of frustration…

8) I lost my virginity to a boy I both loved and hated, it hurt, it lasted about 10 seconds before I asked him to stop and we never had sex again. It wasn’t until my next relationship that I properly got to experience the joys of PIV sex.

9) Before I lost my virginity I had experimented with everything but full intercourse with a number of boys and girls.  I think it gave me a sense of self-worth, considering I was so shy and didn’t have many friends.

10) I read a book for teenagers that described a girl’s first time and I wanted to know what it felt like. I broke my hymen with a biro pen.

11) I had a couple of female friends who I would visit (separately) and we would take our clothes off and pretend to have sex like grown-ups. I remember really enjoying it but I wasn’t sure why. I always felt guilty and embarrassed about this until I started reading 25 Things and realized many people have similar experiences.

12) My relationship with sex has always been difficult. For a long time it was partly about feeling a sense of self-worth and partly because I was super horny. It has only been since my current partner and I started dating (around about eighteen months ago) that I’ve started to feel like I have sex because I WANT sex, without the element of self-esteem boosting. My current partner is the only person I haven’t cheated on. I think that speaks volumes.

13) I masturbate regularly, always have. I used to rely on my imagination alone but since I discovered porn I’ve got lazy. I love porn. And erotica.

14) My imagination always used to revolve around having sex in public places, having sex with multiple partners or imagining my partner fucking another girl.

15) The porn I enjoy is almost always lesbian/solo female or male Dom female sub. I hate seeing penises in porn. I also hate porn where the girl doesn’t come, or at least be seen to enjoy it a LOT. I don’t mind disembodied male hands in porn, though. Occasionally I enjoy watching girls being fisted or fucked by huge toys. And I always enjoy squirt porn.

16) I love being fisted. I just love being stretched. According to my current boyfriend I have an incredibly tight vagina. According to a previous boyfriend I have a “surprisingly tight” vagina. I think the latter is a bit offensive. I can also squirt. An ex-partner really enjoyed watching girls squirt so we decided to see if I could. I can. And I love it.

17) I love anal, although I see it more as a special-occasion kind of activity. The first time I tried it it was horrible and I avoided it for years, but my current partner and I decided to try again and now I think it’s fantastic. I love playing with his arse too. We both want to try pegging at some point but I think we’re both a bit nervous.

18) I love giving blowjobs more than any other sexual activity. I get insanely wet. I like long, drawn out blowjobs with ball-play and rimming. I also like having my head grabbed and fucked, as long as I trust the guy.

19) My partner can have multiple orgasms. We worked on it together and now he does almost every time we fuck. I really love it, although I am quite jealous. We’re working on my multiple orgasms now. There’s something there, I think, but it’s yet to become anything that I would classify as such.

20) I love thinking about my partner having sex with other women. I have for as long as I can remember. Nothing gets me going more than being fingered while he whispers in my ear about previous encounters and possible future encounters.

21) I have had multiple threesomes, mainly MMF, although my favorite was an MFF in Croatia, with two people I’d never met before while my then-boyfriend was at home in the UK. I feel guilty about this, but it doesn’t detract from the fact that that threesome was awesome fun. She got so wet and so turned on, it was incredible. I’ve never had a threesome with a boyfriend. Despite the fact I love fantasizing about them having sex with other girls, I’m not sure how I’d feel once it came down to it. I think it would have to be a very specific situation.

22) I’d like to take part in swinging/group sex, although I don’t think my current partner is too up for the idea. I’d also like to have sex with an audience, and I think he’s slightly more up for that.

23) In everyday life I’m quite dominant. Interestingly, sexually, I’m very submissive. I like being restrained, talked down to, spanked, bitten and treated roughly. Having said that, I’m not particularly into BDSM (other than in porn); from what I’ve experienced, it’s just not for me. That being said, I think I’d love it in a proper dungeon, with someone who knows what they’re doing. I also quite like the idea of slave-training. Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough.

24) I struggle trusting men, I was abused sexually as a child and have had a few unfortunate encounters in later life – people not stopping when I’ve asked, taking me by force, etc. I try not to blame myself for the latter, but it’s hard when I feel like I’ve put myself in those situations that give people the opportunity. That being said, if another woman goes through a similar situation I’m on her side all the way, so maybe I’m just too tough on myself. I’m trying to move on from these and trust people, but it’s hard.

25) I have found 25 Things the most empowering website, it has opened my eyes to so many things and made me realize that a lot of the experiences I’ve had have been shared by other people too. It has helped me to come to terms with my own confused sexuality and accept myself, rather than second-guess everything.