1. I'm a 35-year-old woman from Spain. Lesbian, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual.... blup... I've never liked to define myself in terms of sexuality, or even gender, but social interactions have been forcing me to since I was born.
2. When i was a child, until I was 9 or 10 years old, I secretly wanted to be a boy. Once playing on the fields of the school, on break time, a girl approached me
and asked me if I wanted to be a male. I was wearing a red dress, very feminine, and charol shoes. I lied consciously to her. I was 6, and I already was aware of social mental rigid conceptions of gender in this world.
3. Now I am a very attractive, feminine girl, thin, athletic, with long blonde hair and a sweet face. Also I think of myself as someone androgynous. I play the female card, and I guess people see mainly the feminine in me, even though I still feel that I reflect to the outside this little girl that wanted to be "macho."
4. When some people drive me crazy trying to define my sexuality, I answer to them that I'm a gay guy in a body of a women that fucks women. It really bothers me, this mental blockade that most people have in their minds, but at the same time I'm compassionate with them. I feel more comfort, in terms of sexuality, with my bisexual, or homosexual, or transsexual friends, because all these things are already understood, but I do love all my friends.
5. I came out of the closet to my father and to my brother at the age of 14.
6. I lost my virginity with a man at 14 also.
7. I lost my virginity with a women at 15.
8. At 19 I fell for a guy, and then I had to get out of the closet again, but this time the heterosexual one, because everybody thought of me as a lesbian. Then I decided to not define myself any more.
9. I have been with 150-170 different people, more or less. Males and females. All of them before 27. After that I was in a monogamous relationship with a women with 2 kids for 7 years, and after that, maybe 5-6 people.
10. I've had a threesome a few times. Sexually, it can work. Twice, I've been in an emotional threesome, and at the end it becomes a disaster, even
though the last one ended up becoming that 7-year relationship.
11. I was in a foursome once: 2 women, one male and me. Too much stress.
12. I've had four long term relationships: with a man for 3 years, a woman for 2 years, another women for 2 years, and another women for 7 years. The first two were not monogamous.
13. I think I have never really fallen in love with a man, and I wonder if one day I will. I would like to, and I think I am capable of it. I guess it's never happened because i wasn't lucky with the males that I found. I was close to it twice, but I don't know. I keep myself open. I really like women, and the feeling of falling in love with a woman, when it comes, feels easy and natural.
14. I don't like it from behind. It is painful for me. With one or two fingers is OK. I would like to be in love with someone with the patience and the eagerness for doing it to me. But I need love to open on a certain level.
15. I like toys. But I can only use them when I feel very comfortable with someone, and that means being in love too. Or a really, really good friendship, and long-term lover.
16. All these sexual experiences gave me an open view of life. I was always searching for what love is (I know it sounds weird with that number of people, but in a way that was the ignition inside of me), or how many forms love can take.
17. With time I became more respectful with myself, and more picky. Now it's hard for me to open sexually to someone if there's no friendship at least, and a good friendship. But there are so many things that I need to be there at the same time: good chemistry, an open mind, capacity of feeling, no shame, adventure for discovery...
18. Some times I don't let anyone get close to me. These periods can be 5-6 months long, or even longer, but i consider myself too young for celibacy, so I "force" myself to open a bit to sexual lovers, even if it's not exactly-exactly what I am looking for. Usually I pick up male partners for this.
19. Sex and emotions go together for me, but sometimes it's amazing how far away the emotions that I relate to some sexual experiences can be to the reality of whom I have in front of me. Projections. The intensity of good sex can give blindness. Not love, as is said.
20. Sometimes i feel like a man, sometimes i feel like a women. (Inside myself, not related to any action, not related to how I look.)
21. I like to fuck with men as if I was a man myself, and then change the role, and be fucked like a woman by a man. With women I become softer and stronger at the same time. I like when a women takes me, and seduces me, and forces me aggressively. And i like to do the same to them.
22. I started to masturbate when I was 2 or 3. I still do it in the same way as when I started when I was a child, face down with my fingers on my clit, and the sheet in the middle. At the age of 6 i realized that it was better to not do it in front of anybody, a bit later I realized that this thing that I was doing was actually what the adults call masturbation.
23. By myself, I prefer to have clitoral orgasms, and I like them in the shower too. If I am with someone, it does not matter if it's a women or a man, i prefer to have a vaginal orgasm. I'm multi-orgasmic both ways.
24. To get to have a vaginal and a clitoral orgasm at the same time, I need to be with a partner that I've known for a long time. If not, I cannot open up.
25. I like to talk about sex, but usually I have to be careful in which way I do it. If I am with a heterosexual male friend I talk about certain things, and I avoid others. If I am with a heterosexual female, the same. With a bisexual male I can be a little more open, but also not totally open; with a lesbian friend also... and so on. It's nice to just be me, and to just talk free freely.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
1. I am a 20-year-old, heterosexual, White British, cis female who is a virgin.
2. I have never had a "formal" sex education class, apart from brief discussions of the biological aspects of reproduction and some general "abortions and contraception are evil" talks. Everything else I’ve learned has been from the Internet, and there’s a lot of "basic" stuff I’ve only just learned in the last year or so. I am rather sheltered. My parents never gave me "the talk."
3. I wonder if anyone will ever find me attractive. The only time people have tried to state things to me has been when they’ve been using me as an object of ridicule.On one occasion a few years back, I ran into two of my childhood bullies. They hadn’t changed, and were going out of their way, still, after all these years, to make me uncomfortable. Another occasion was someone who followed me over a railway bridge near my home bugging me for my phone number the whole way. I unfortunately seem to notice every single one of my physical flaws, and my main area is actually my arms, not my stomach, which is surprising.
4. When I was in secondary school, I was inappropriately touched on my inner thigh by a student who was older than I. He apparently did it on a dare. And no, my school didn’t really do anything, even after my mum kept me out of school for a week until they ‘sorted’ things out. I’ve noticed the memory creeping back on me over the last year or so, when I thought for the most part I’d buried it away.
5. I’m not sure if I want a relationship for the sake of being a ‘thing’ that everyone is meant to have and/or if I’m just generally wanting the companionship and affection that tends to come along with it, as I tend to be a rather solitary person.
6. I was a ‘late bloomer’--when I was a child and everyone started gushing about boyfriends/girlfriends, I wasn’t interested, I only got somewhat ‘interested’ in my mid-teens. Even then, I’ve never had much of a sex drive.
7. I wonder if I’ll ever be emotionally stable enough for a long term relationship.
8. I’ve only ‘properly’ masturbated once, but I don’t know if I did it right, as it didn’t seem to work.
9. The thought of actually having sex honestly terrifies me.
10. I was raised Christian, so I was brought up to believe that ‘sex is not for outside marriage.' I think to some extent I still stick to that belief, even if I’m not really a believer anymore (or at the least, ‘no sex unless in a long-term, committed relationship'), but my general overall view is something along the lines of ‘do what you want provided that you’re safe and consensual.’
11. I feel at constant conflict with how feminine I am and how I’m ‘meant’ to be. I honestly do not know ‘how’ to be feminine.
12. I have never had any form of romantic experience (including kissing).
13. I don’t seem to have ever had a ‘crush’ on someone I actually know/have met. The only crushes I have had have been famous people or fictional characters.
14. I am stupidly self-conscious, not just about my appearance but it seems every aspect of me. I got bullied and generally excluded a lot as a child. I have never gotten the hang of being ‘social.’ I never know how to act around people. I am also dyspraxic, so I’ve always been self-conscious that I am not ‘normal,’ and have a feeling that people pick up on it.
15. Visual porn doesn’t seem to have much effect on me, but saying that, well-written sex scenes have some effect on me (most, though, I’ve found in M-rated fan-fiction, ahem).
16. I feel incredibly awkward if I get stuck in a conversation about sex. Once a classmate’s boyfriend caught onto this and purposely kept talking about it to make me squirm.
17. I think one of the reasons I haven’t had a boyfriend is due to my rather small social circle. I am shy and introverted so I steer away from a lot of ‘social’ places, and I am not comfortable in such places. I am honestly my own worst enemy in that regard.
18. I have tried online dating, but I don’t think it’s for me. I got inundated with requests from people who didn’t seem to read my profile. I had one person I seemed to maybe have a chance with, but I have a bad feeling I made things go sour.
19. On the one hand, rom-coms and ‘romantic’ movies in general make me want to throw up, and I criticize how inaccurate they are, and I can’t stand to watch them--yet I still like the idea of romantic gestures and ‘old fashioned’ courting and would actually really love to be slightly doted on like that at least once.
20. I’ve had an ‘imaginary boyfriend,' or at least a random imaginary guy my mind conjured up to try and see what my ‘ideal’ person would be.
21. I’ve never really been attracted to ‘macho’ guys. I also have a bit of a thing for red hair, and long hair, and green eyes, yet I’ve never really liked guys with blond hair.
22. The thought of giving someone a blowjob honestly squicks me out a fair deal.
23. I don’t think I could ever have sex with someone I didn’t have feelings for.
24. Whoever I end up having sex with, I’d need to trust them completely.
25. I’ve noticed I have a thing for guys wearing eyeliner, and guys with nice eyes in general.
2. I have never had a "formal" sex education class, apart from brief discussions of the biological aspects of reproduction and some general "abortions and contraception are evil" talks. Everything else I’ve learned has been from the Internet, and there’s a lot of "basic" stuff I’ve only just learned in the last year or so. I am rather sheltered. My parents never gave me "the talk."
3. I wonder if anyone will ever find me attractive. The only time people have tried to state things to me has been when they’ve been using me as an object of ridicule.On one occasion a few years back, I ran into two of my childhood bullies. They hadn’t changed, and were going out of their way, still, after all these years, to make me uncomfortable. Another occasion was someone who followed me over a railway bridge near my home bugging me for my phone number the whole way. I unfortunately seem to notice every single one of my physical flaws, and my main area is actually my arms, not my stomach, which is surprising.
4. When I was in secondary school, I was inappropriately touched on my inner thigh by a student who was older than I. He apparently did it on a dare. And no, my school didn’t really do anything, even after my mum kept me out of school for a week until they ‘sorted’ things out. I’ve noticed the memory creeping back on me over the last year or so, when I thought for the most part I’d buried it away.
5. I’m not sure if I want a relationship for the sake of being a ‘thing’ that everyone is meant to have and/or if I’m just generally wanting the companionship and affection that tends to come along with it, as I tend to be a rather solitary person.
6. I was a ‘late bloomer’--when I was a child and everyone started gushing about boyfriends/girlfriends, I wasn’t interested, I only got somewhat ‘interested’ in my mid-teens. Even then, I’ve never had much of a sex drive.
7. I wonder if I’ll ever be emotionally stable enough for a long term relationship.
8. I’ve only ‘properly’ masturbated once, but I don’t know if I did it right, as it didn’t seem to work.
9. The thought of actually having sex honestly terrifies me.
10. I was raised Christian, so I was brought up to believe that ‘sex is not for outside marriage.' I think to some extent I still stick to that belief, even if I’m not really a believer anymore (or at the least, ‘no sex unless in a long-term, committed relationship'), but my general overall view is something along the lines of ‘do what you want provided that you’re safe and consensual.’
11. I feel at constant conflict with how feminine I am and how I’m ‘meant’ to be. I honestly do not know ‘how’ to be feminine.
12. I have never had any form of romantic experience (including kissing).
13. I don’t seem to have ever had a ‘crush’ on someone I actually know/have met. The only crushes I have had have been famous people or fictional characters.
14. I am stupidly self-conscious, not just about my appearance but it seems every aspect of me. I got bullied and generally excluded a lot as a child. I have never gotten the hang of being ‘social.’ I never know how to act around people. I am also dyspraxic, so I’ve always been self-conscious that I am not ‘normal,’ and have a feeling that people pick up on it.
15. Visual porn doesn’t seem to have much effect on me, but saying that, well-written sex scenes have some effect on me (most, though, I’ve found in M-rated fan-fiction, ahem).
16. I feel incredibly awkward if I get stuck in a conversation about sex. Once a classmate’s boyfriend caught onto this and purposely kept talking about it to make me squirm.
17. I think one of the reasons I haven’t had a boyfriend is due to my rather small social circle. I am shy and introverted so I steer away from a lot of ‘social’ places, and I am not comfortable in such places. I am honestly my own worst enemy in that regard.
18. I have tried online dating, but I don’t think it’s for me. I got inundated with requests from people who didn’t seem to read my profile. I had one person I seemed to maybe have a chance with, but I have a bad feeling I made things go sour.
19. On the one hand, rom-coms and ‘romantic’ movies in general make me want to throw up, and I criticize how inaccurate they are, and I can’t stand to watch them--yet I still like the idea of romantic gestures and ‘old fashioned’ courting and would actually really love to be slightly doted on like that at least once.
20. I’ve had an ‘imaginary boyfriend,' or at least a random imaginary guy my mind conjured up to try and see what my ‘ideal’ person would be.
21. I’ve never really been attracted to ‘macho’ guys. I also have a bit of a thing for red hair, and long hair, and green eyes, yet I’ve never really liked guys with blond hair.
22. The thought of giving someone a blowjob honestly squicks me out a fair deal.
23. I don’t think I could ever have sex with someone I didn’t have feelings for.
24. Whoever I end up having sex with, I’d need to trust them completely.
25. I’ve noticed I have a thing for guys wearing eyeliner, and guys with nice eyes in general.
Monday, December 3, 2012
1. I'm a 42-year-old male.
2. I've been married for 13 years and 100% faithful. I surprised myself - until meeting my wife I wasn't good at being faithful. I didn't mean any harm, I just liked fucking.
3. We've had periods of lots of sex, and periods with very little. Daily masturbation gets me through the slow times.
4. On average, I've orgasmed every day since I was 15.
5. I've had days where I've orgasmed 10 times. Things got a bit sore, but it was worth it.
6. Until doing this, I've never counted sexual partners, but it would be 40ish.
7. I was very lucky with my partners--most of them were great in the sack. I don't claim credit for their performances, but I had some sensational times.
8. I don't understand how people could "save themselves" for one person.
9. I dated a girl who was terrible in bed. I had no idea someone could have so little idea/interest in sex. The relationship ended abruptly.
10. I can last as long as I like, or come as quickly as I like. It's about a moment, being in it, or being a little detached from it.
11. When I was younger blowjobs didn't make me orgasm.
12. In my early 20's, when a girl did get me to orgasm by giving me head, it blew me away so much it scared me off them.
13. My wife gives me great blow jobs. It's making me hard right now thinking about them, and I'm at work.
14. Nothing makes me hornier than a partner coming.
15. I loved partners who were comfortable in their own skin. I love seeing a girl masturbate to orgasm if I couldn't help them get there.
16. Little catches of breath, quivers and shivers. Nothing better.
17. A partner showed me how to go down on her. It was a set of explicit (no pun intended) instructions. Lick here and insert two fingers now. The intensity of her orgasm made me orgasm, with no hands or touching--the first and only time that's ever happened.
18. There's nothing that I really hunger for. I once was offered anal, but declined. I've thought about that offer quite a bit, mentally it turns me on because of the taboo thing, but reality might not match up.
19. I fantasize about old partners a lot when masturbating. Special things stick in your mind.
20. My fantasies are matching my age. I don't get horny over younger women, I fantasize over women about the same age as me. Women in their 40s always made me hot. In my mid 20s I had 2 relationships with women 10 years older than me. They were super horny.
21. My wife fantasizes lots during sex. I like to hear about them afterwards. They're cool fantasies, and nothing that I would ever think of.
22. We've never thought about role-playing them.
23. Outdoor = good (and naughty).
24. I like all sex. In bed naked together is as good as pants 'round her knees standing in the hallway.
25. I love lingerie, but my tastes change. Currently it's panties that show lots of bum cheek underneath and look very soft. I'm not sure whats going on in my head either, but I like my own tastes.
2. I've been married for 13 years and 100% faithful. I surprised myself - until meeting my wife I wasn't good at being faithful. I didn't mean any harm, I just liked fucking.
3. We've had periods of lots of sex, and periods with very little. Daily masturbation gets me through the slow times.
4. On average, I've orgasmed every day since I was 15.
5. I've had days where I've orgasmed 10 times. Things got a bit sore, but it was worth it.
6. Until doing this, I've never counted sexual partners, but it would be 40ish.
7. I was very lucky with my partners--most of them were great in the sack. I don't claim credit for their performances, but I had some sensational times.
8. I don't understand how people could "save themselves" for one person.
9. I dated a girl who was terrible in bed. I had no idea someone could have so little idea/interest in sex. The relationship ended abruptly.
10. I can last as long as I like, or come as quickly as I like. It's about a moment, being in it, or being a little detached from it.
11. When I was younger blowjobs didn't make me orgasm.
12. In my early 20's, when a girl did get me to orgasm by giving me head, it blew me away so much it scared me off them.
13. My wife gives me great blow jobs. It's making me hard right now thinking about them, and I'm at work.
14. Nothing makes me hornier than a partner coming.
15. I loved partners who were comfortable in their own skin. I love seeing a girl masturbate to orgasm if I couldn't help them get there.
16. Little catches of breath, quivers and shivers. Nothing better.
17. A partner showed me how to go down on her. It was a set of explicit (no pun intended) instructions. Lick here and insert two fingers now. The intensity of her orgasm made me orgasm, with no hands or touching--the first and only time that's ever happened.
18. There's nothing that I really hunger for. I once was offered anal, but declined. I've thought about that offer quite a bit, mentally it turns me on because of the taboo thing, but reality might not match up.
19. I fantasize about old partners a lot when masturbating. Special things stick in your mind.
20. My fantasies are matching my age. I don't get horny over younger women, I fantasize over women about the same age as me. Women in their 40s always made me hot. In my mid 20s I had 2 relationships with women 10 years older than me. They were super horny.
21. My wife fantasizes lots during sex. I like to hear about them afterwards. They're cool fantasies, and nothing that I would ever think of.
22. We've never thought about role-playing them.
23. Outdoor = good (and naughty).
24. I like all sex. In bed naked together is as good as pants 'round her knees standing in the hallway.
25. I love lingerie, but my tastes change. Currently it's panties that show lots of bum cheek underneath and look very soft. I'm not sure whats going on in my head either, but I like my own tastes.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
1. I am a nineteen-year-old woman. I'm a virgin by common moral standards, and sex scares me. Religion is a dirty word in my personal experience, and I'm one of those people who says gosh, geeze, and darn just to avoid it, although I can swear like a sailor with no provocation.
2. I don't like relying on anything. I used to drink and pop at least eight 350 mg painkillers every day. The people I've talked with about sex agree that they wouldn't know what to do if they had to be celibate. Addiction runs in my family, but I can kick habits like those mentioned above in a single day. It hurts like a bitch, but I think I get a power trip out of it. Nevertheless, I don't like trying my abilities where I don't need to.
3. Pretty much every male figure until third grade was a perceived threat. My first male teacher, a Vietnam vet, spoke to us early in the year about a friend who died in the war. He showed us the etching of his name on the War Memorial. Up until then I hadn't really thought men could have the kind of peace he did. It wasn't depressing, or overly reassuring. Just this brief little talk, but he trusted us and cared enough about us to do it, and I loved him for it.
4. Oftentimes, people blame tumultuous childhoods for issues later in life. Those who don't know me well tell me I'm very strong, assertive, and sexual, but my closest friends know that if someone so much as touches my arm without my consent, I'm likely to feel nauseous. I had a violent upbringing.
5. Referencing 1 and 2, I despise weakness, particularly co-dependence and reliance. I can't deal with people in pain or withered from sickness, and I can't really stand the thought of coming to rely so heavily on someone else for physical purposes. I can pleasure myself, and I do so three or four times a week.
6. On a cabin trip we took, I wrote a note to my boyfriend in his diary and removed the bookmark. I told him the gist of what I'm telling you, and to forgive me and be patient with me because it's difficult to think about what's happened. Several days later, he sent me a note telling me that I am not, as I wrote, "dirty," and that he respected me. I almost cried, so I went to bed at 19:00. A few weeks after, he gave me a carved picture frame with a picture of us in it. In the back cover, once you open it, is something I wrote him. It made my eyes water and he cuddled me for a very long time.
7. I've been masturbating since about the fourth grade. I looked at filthy stuff, even then--mostly rape and violent assault. I was eleven.
8. Scars and bruises and rope, all placed artfully, turn me on. I hate seeing bruises on the face. I can't tell you how much. But old gashes, purple and yellowed skin, and bloody noses are fuel to the fire.
9. Sex was a solid enough concept by the second grade that I was forcing my favorite doll, one with short hair and highlights and tanned skin, one that looked exactly like me, to prostitute herself to my other male and female dolls, but mostly male. I made a little veil, and they would go underneath it and I would violently mash them together, a deep voice growling, "Take it. Yeah. You like that?!" while a higher, pleading, scared voice said things along the lines of, "No! Stop! Please!" I entertained my friend with my antics and she joined in. Then she moved and I had no one with whom I could share my little game.
10. I didn't care if my Barbies were naked because they didn't look like real people or kids, but if my baby and porcelain dolls were exposed, I could freak out.
11. Shortly after getting into darker and darker porn at eleven, I discovered gay fiction. I read it avidly, and it was much more calming and normal than the shit I'd been viewing before. For years, I could only come thinking about gay sex.
12. I was terrified when I first started menstruating. Before, I passed as a boy, a quiet one, but a boy. The jig was up.
13. If I don't masturbate for three days I have a sex dream. That's that. I'm two or so years past the puberty gate, and my sex drive can go like clockwork rather than spontaneous, unbidden hours of... well, "heat," I guess.
14. I hated myself for several years before going through severe depression, self-mutilation, therapy, suicide attempts, and an SSRI that gave me paranoia alongside my "uplifted" moods. During this time, I began drawing obscene pornographic comics involving tentacles, rape, torture, date rape, imprisonment, gang rape, and murder. They made me laugh and feel good about myself. Filled four decently-sized sketchbooks in something like three years.
15. The pastor at my school liked to see kids in his office. I stopped attending Sunday school at six because I always wanted to be near my mother, no exceptions, and when I was left in the class, I laid low at first, trying not to be noticed, and then I acted out. I was very, very happy to go. It's been thirteen years. I have never told anyone anything about this and this the last time.
16. His son ran Christian Youth Nights at the Lutheran church and offered twisted logic aside his Jesus rant. He told us men and women have their places, then had the boys and girls play various Mars Vs. Venus games. One of them could be compared to Venus in Furs. I thought it was fine, even fun at first, but then something was wrong and slowly throughout the night I felt dirtier, and dirtier, until I finally sneaked out through the girls' locker room. To this day, no one from my hometown talks about it. My peers say things like "Oh, well, that's just what kids do, right? I mean, it was a joke. Totally funny. Why are you so uptight?" I'm one of those people who doesn't shower or try to mentally cleanse or repress after something bad happens. I earned that anger. It is mine, and I am going to keep it until the day I die.
17. I don't trust authority figures because of all that and many, many things non-sexual, but the sight of an officer's uniform still gets me going like no tomorrow.
18. Every girl I liked in the past was heavily religious. I moved to a big city where it wasn't much of a problem, and then all I had to do, with the people I got to know, was ask. However, every boy has had to pursue me like nobody's business. The main reason my boyfriend is my boyfriend is that we shared that hunt. We challenged each other, he, used to being in control, me, used to being alone with free rein. One of our friends has called him my bitch, and I laugh, but I'm perfectly weak to him if he deserves it.
19. My first boyfriend hit me during our second fight. In passing period. In front of my friends.
20. I hate Hollywood movies with unattractive, geeky failures who magically obtain the perfect woman because it's fine if they're untouchable, but a female is a sexual object, and that's all she's good for. On the other side, I hate movies which figure that the only way to have a strong female character is to "give her control of her own sexuality." As long as she flaunts her double-Ds and gives blowjobs because that's feminism. Which is to say, I despise Hollywood. But it goes into another factor, because I don't believe all of these gorgeous gals are flocking to the computer science building, that many of these women aren't fully consenting with the plot, just going along with it. And this should really have its own point, so check out #24.
21. Some of my more disturbing fantasies include inter-species rape, zombies, blood kinks, cannibalism, broken bones, amputation, alien cross-species implantation, and... horrible things involving Robert Downey Jr. Honestly, given the chance, I want to make him cry and crawl and beg on his knees. That's affection.
22. I love love love telling erotic stories and I'm very good at it. I've never not gotten a reaction.
23. I goaded two men on a ferry to have sex with me when I was seventeen, but they said, after some conversation, that I was too young, and they respected me. Lesson from that is: Sex ≠ respect. Again.
24. Non-consensual, real life sex makes me physically ill. Occasionally I drift back to old habits and check out some simulated rape videos, but I always come back to the same conclusion. No exceptions.
25. My boyfriend is the most patient person I know. We're about to have our first anniversary, he's a healthy 18-year-old boy, and he's never pressured me into sex. His most repeated and honest phrase during make-out/fondling/fingering/jerking time is "Only if you want to." I want to tell him I love him, but I have this strange, old-school idea that you only say that to family members. Dating, engaged, or married. I say it jokingly to friends, but I've never said it seriously to anyone when it wasn't platonic, and I burn with embarrassment and a bit of shame thinking about it.
2. I don't like relying on anything. I used to drink and pop at least eight 350 mg painkillers every day. The people I've talked with about sex agree that they wouldn't know what to do if they had to be celibate. Addiction runs in my family, but I can kick habits like those mentioned above in a single day. It hurts like a bitch, but I think I get a power trip out of it. Nevertheless, I don't like trying my abilities where I don't need to.
3. Pretty much every male figure until third grade was a perceived threat. My first male teacher, a Vietnam vet, spoke to us early in the year about a friend who died in the war. He showed us the etching of his name on the War Memorial. Up until then I hadn't really thought men could have the kind of peace he did. It wasn't depressing, or overly reassuring. Just this brief little talk, but he trusted us and cared enough about us to do it, and I loved him for it.
4. Oftentimes, people blame tumultuous childhoods for issues later in life. Those who don't know me well tell me I'm very strong, assertive, and sexual, but my closest friends know that if someone so much as touches my arm without my consent, I'm likely to feel nauseous. I had a violent upbringing.
5. Referencing 1 and 2, I despise weakness, particularly co-dependence and reliance. I can't deal with people in pain or withered from sickness, and I can't really stand the thought of coming to rely so heavily on someone else for physical purposes. I can pleasure myself, and I do so three or four times a week.
6. On a cabin trip we took, I wrote a note to my boyfriend in his diary and removed the bookmark. I told him the gist of what I'm telling you, and to forgive me and be patient with me because it's difficult to think about what's happened. Several days later, he sent me a note telling me that I am not, as I wrote, "dirty," and that he respected me. I almost cried, so I went to bed at 19:00. A few weeks after, he gave me a carved picture frame with a picture of us in it. In the back cover, once you open it, is something I wrote him. It made my eyes water and he cuddled me for a very long time.
7. I've been masturbating since about the fourth grade. I looked at filthy stuff, even then--mostly rape and violent assault. I was eleven.
8. Scars and bruises and rope, all placed artfully, turn me on. I hate seeing bruises on the face. I can't tell you how much. But old gashes, purple and yellowed skin, and bloody noses are fuel to the fire.
9. Sex was a solid enough concept by the second grade that I was forcing my favorite doll, one with short hair and highlights and tanned skin, one that looked exactly like me, to prostitute herself to my other male and female dolls, but mostly male. I made a little veil, and they would go underneath it and I would violently mash them together, a deep voice growling, "Take it. Yeah. You like that?!" while a higher, pleading, scared voice said things along the lines of, "No! Stop! Please!" I entertained my friend with my antics and she joined in. Then she moved and I had no one with whom I could share my little game.
10. I didn't care if my Barbies were naked because they didn't look like real people or kids, but if my baby and porcelain dolls were exposed, I could freak out.
11. Shortly after getting into darker and darker porn at eleven, I discovered gay fiction. I read it avidly, and it was much more calming and normal than the shit I'd been viewing before. For years, I could only come thinking about gay sex.
12. I was terrified when I first started menstruating. Before, I passed as a boy, a quiet one, but a boy. The jig was up.
13. If I don't masturbate for three days I have a sex dream. That's that. I'm two or so years past the puberty gate, and my sex drive can go like clockwork rather than spontaneous, unbidden hours of... well, "heat," I guess.
14. I hated myself for several years before going through severe depression, self-mutilation, therapy, suicide attempts, and an SSRI that gave me paranoia alongside my "uplifted" moods. During this time, I began drawing obscene pornographic comics involving tentacles, rape, torture, date rape, imprisonment, gang rape, and murder. They made me laugh and feel good about myself. Filled four decently-sized sketchbooks in something like three years.
15. The pastor at my school liked to see kids in his office. I stopped attending Sunday school at six because I always wanted to be near my mother, no exceptions, and when I was left in the class, I laid low at first, trying not to be noticed, and then I acted out. I was very, very happy to go. It's been thirteen years. I have never told anyone anything about this and this the last time.
16. His son ran Christian Youth Nights at the Lutheran church and offered twisted logic aside his Jesus rant. He told us men and women have their places, then had the boys and girls play various Mars Vs. Venus games. One of them could be compared to Venus in Furs. I thought it was fine, even fun at first, but then something was wrong and slowly throughout the night I felt dirtier, and dirtier, until I finally sneaked out through the girls' locker room. To this day, no one from my hometown talks about it. My peers say things like "Oh, well, that's just what kids do, right? I mean, it was a joke. Totally funny. Why are you so uptight?" I'm one of those people who doesn't shower or try to mentally cleanse or repress after something bad happens. I earned that anger. It is mine, and I am going to keep it until the day I die.
17. I don't trust authority figures because of all that and many, many things non-sexual, but the sight of an officer's uniform still gets me going like no tomorrow.
18. Every girl I liked in the past was heavily religious. I moved to a big city where it wasn't much of a problem, and then all I had to do, with the people I got to know, was ask. However, every boy has had to pursue me like nobody's business. The main reason my boyfriend is my boyfriend is that we shared that hunt. We challenged each other, he, used to being in control, me, used to being alone with free rein. One of our friends has called him my bitch, and I laugh, but I'm perfectly weak to him if he deserves it.
19. My first boyfriend hit me during our second fight. In passing period. In front of my friends.
20. I hate Hollywood movies with unattractive, geeky failures who magically obtain the perfect woman because it's fine if they're untouchable, but a female is a sexual object, and that's all she's good for. On the other side, I hate movies which figure that the only way to have a strong female character is to "give her control of her own sexuality." As long as she flaunts her double-Ds and gives blowjobs because that's feminism. Which is to say, I despise Hollywood. But it goes into another factor, because I don't believe all of these gorgeous gals are flocking to the computer science building, that many of these women aren't fully consenting with the plot, just going along with it. And this should really have its own point, so check out #24.
21. Some of my more disturbing fantasies include inter-species rape, zombies, blood kinks, cannibalism, broken bones, amputation, alien cross-species implantation, and... horrible things involving Robert Downey Jr. Honestly, given the chance, I want to make him cry and crawl and beg on his knees. That's affection.
22. I love love love telling erotic stories and I'm very good at it. I've never not gotten a reaction.
23. I goaded two men on a ferry to have sex with me when I was seventeen, but they said, after some conversation, that I was too young, and they respected me. Lesson from that is: Sex ≠ respect. Again.
24. Non-consensual, real life sex makes me physically ill. Occasionally I drift back to old habits and check out some simulated rape videos, but I always come back to the same conclusion. No exceptions.
25. My boyfriend is the most patient person I know. We're about to have our first anniversary, he's a healthy 18-year-old boy, and he's never pressured me into sex. His most repeated and honest phrase during make-out/fondling/fingering/jerking time is "Only if you want to." I want to tell him I love him, but I have this strange, old-school idea that you only say that to family members. Dating, engaged, or married. I say it jokingly to friends, but I've never said it seriously to anyone when it wasn't platonic, and I burn with embarrassment and a bit of shame thinking about it.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
1. I am a straight (ish) cisgender 20-year-old female.
2. I say straight-ish because I have had sex with a woman, but I would like to explore that part of myself more before making any conclusions.
3. I have had six sexual partners, five males and one female.
4. I fantasize a lot about scissoring. I love the thought of two wet vaginas rubbing against one another.
5. Even though I identify as mostly straight, I really like lesbian porn. Partially because of them eating each other out, a large part because it looks like both parties are actually enjoying themselves. Maybe in the future, I will pay to become a member of a feminist porn site. I think that would be really fucking cool.
6. I really really really love being eaten out. All my sexual partners have enjoyed giving me head or have wanted to give me head. I think that it would be a dealbreaker if a partner didn't like oral sex.
7. One of my best sexual relationships was with a guy with whom I never engaged in oral sex or PIV sex. I still fantasize about him a lot and I really hope we have sex in the future.
8. I love hearing myself moan. It gives me goosebumps.
9. I love oral piercings. They are really fun to play with while I'm making out with someone. I've kissed someone with a vertical labret piercing and with a tongue piercing.
10. I think pierced nipples are super hot and I really want to get my own pierced.
11. I think I'm a little fat, but I don't really care. If you're not into my body, obviously you don't need to see me naked.
12. I'm still trying to figure out what gets me off. I want to work up to having orgasms where I can't move. I love grinding motions and that often helps me get off.
13. Something that really turns me on is rubbing against a hard dick. I love feeling our bodies rub against one another.
14. I have a major thing for Jewish boys. Or just boys with dark hair in general.
15. One of my proudest moments was when I got eaten out in the dorm showers at my college. Another one was hooking up with my figure model after drawing him naked. It was a dominance trip in a way, because he was naked for me. It was pretty hot being clothed and having him naked.
16. As much as I like receiving head, I love giving head too. I like to share pleasure.
17. I would love to be tied up during sex. I am interested in the bondage and domination aspects of BDSM, but I'm kind of afraid of the pain parts. That's not to say that I don't like rough sex, however. I'd get really bored if we just "made love" all the time.
18. I am interested in being dominant and being submissive. I need different things at different times.
19. I have only had PIV sex twice with one partner. He was my first boyfriend. We were together for six months. I still feel guilty about that relationship because I feel like I was in it for the wrong reasons, namely just to have a boyfriend. He was pretty misogynistic and could be very manipulative at times. He would spend a lot of time trying to convince me to do more than I was comfortable with. This is why I'm waiting until I'm extremely comfortable with someone to have PIV sex. It doesn't necessarily need to be a boyfriend; I can think of some friends I'd probably have PIV sex with.
20. I like to cuddle, but I don't really like to spoon while I sleep. I feel the need to move around.
21. Anal sex is an interesting prospect, but it makes me anxious because of the poop. I am slightly OCD when it comes to germs, and I don't want poop somewhere I'm gonna put my mouth or whatever. Same goes with pee. If you're into that, that's OK--I'm just not really into it.
22. I really like hickies. Especially if they're on the insides of my legs or on my breasts. It really turns me on to look at them and remember how I got them.
23. I don't really need to be penetrated at this point to get off (this may change).
24. There were naked pictures of me for someone's senior art project in our college's library. I felt anxious about this at first, but then I found it to be extremely empowering.
25. Finally, I love biting. Biting is really fun for me. But you have to not just chomp down. That hurts and isn't sexy for me.
2. I say straight-ish because I have had sex with a woman, but I would like to explore that part of myself more before making any conclusions.
3. I have had six sexual partners, five males and one female.
4. I fantasize a lot about scissoring. I love the thought of two wet vaginas rubbing against one another.
5. Even though I identify as mostly straight, I really like lesbian porn. Partially because of them eating each other out, a large part because it looks like both parties are actually enjoying themselves. Maybe in the future, I will pay to become a member of a feminist porn site. I think that would be really fucking cool.
6. I really really really love being eaten out. All my sexual partners have enjoyed giving me head or have wanted to give me head. I think that it would be a dealbreaker if a partner didn't like oral sex.
7. One of my best sexual relationships was with a guy with whom I never engaged in oral sex or PIV sex. I still fantasize about him a lot and I really hope we have sex in the future.
8. I love hearing myself moan. It gives me goosebumps.
9. I love oral piercings. They are really fun to play with while I'm making out with someone. I've kissed someone with a vertical labret piercing and with a tongue piercing.
10. I think pierced nipples are super hot and I really want to get my own pierced.
11. I think I'm a little fat, but I don't really care. If you're not into my body, obviously you don't need to see me naked.
12. I'm still trying to figure out what gets me off. I want to work up to having orgasms where I can't move. I love grinding motions and that often helps me get off.
13. Something that really turns me on is rubbing against a hard dick. I love feeling our bodies rub against one another.
14. I have a major thing for Jewish boys. Or just boys with dark hair in general.
15. One of my proudest moments was when I got eaten out in the dorm showers at my college. Another one was hooking up with my figure model after drawing him naked. It was a dominance trip in a way, because he was naked for me. It was pretty hot being clothed and having him naked.
16. As much as I like receiving head, I love giving head too. I like to share pleasure.
17. I would love to be tied up during sex. I am interested in the bondage and domination aspects of BDSM, but I'm kind of afraid of the pain parts. That's not to say that I don't like rough sex, however. I'd get really bored if we just "made love" all the time.
18. I am interested in being dominant and being submissive. I need different things at different times.
19. I have only had PIV sex twice with one partner. He was my first boyfriend. We were together for six months. I still feel guilty about that relationship because I feel like I was in it for the wrong reasons, namely just to have a boyfriend. He was pretty misogynistic and could be very manipulative at times. He would spend a lot of time trying to convince me to do more than I was comfortable with. This is why I'm waiting until I'm extremely comfortable with someone to have PIV sex. It doesn't necessarily need to be a boyfriend; I can think of some friends I'd probably have PIV sex with.
20. I like to cuddle, but I don't really like to spoon while I sleep. I feel the need to move around.
21. Anal sex is an interesting prospect, but it makes me anxious because of the poop. I am slightly OCD when it comes to germs, and I don't want poop somewhere I'm gonna put my mouth or whatever. Same goes with pee. If you're into that, that's OK--I'm just not really into it.
22. I really like hickies. Especially if they're on the insides of my legs or on my breasts. It really turns me on to look at them and remember how I got them.
23. I don't really need to be penetrated at this point to get off (this may change).
24. There were naked pictures of me for someone's senior art project in our college's library. I felt anxious about this at first, but then I found it to be extremely empowering.
25. Finally, I love biting. Biting is really fun for me. But you have to not just chomp down. That hurts and isn't sexy for me.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
1. I am a bisexual man in my late twenties. I currently am in a relationship with another man.
2. The man I am together with is my first same-sex partner. We've been together for about half a year now.
3. Before that, I was in a relationship with a woman, but she broke up with me.
4. I always fantasized about sex with men, but I didn't try it as long as I was in a relationship. When I am in a relationship, I am law-abiding and do not cheat on my partner.
5. When my last girlfriend broke up with me, I decided to try sex with men. I started an affair with the guy I am together with now. We met each other online. It was only sex, no feelings, no kissing. We met, fucked and left each other. It went like this for some months.
6. With time, our relationship changed and we started talking and having a few beers after sex. I guess we developed something like a friendship-plus, but the plus was there before the friendship was.
7. One day after work, he called me and asked me if I'd like to come over. We sat in his flat and had some beers, when he suddenly sat over next to me and kissed me. I was really surprised, but I somehow liked it. It may sound strange, but even though we were making out for several months, I never really thought that our relationship could turn this way. However, the night that followed had the most intense sex I ever had. Since then, we've been a couple.
8. I am a bottom. I enjoy getting fucked, but I don't care that much about fucking actively. I also like receiving a blowjob. Giving head is OK to me. I like it to feel how much pleasure I can give that way. Sometimes I enjoy swallowing come, but that really depends on my mood. Usually I swallow when he is coming into my mouth. When I had sex with girls I always loved it when they swallowed, so I do now, too.
9. I can orgasm from passive anal sex. The orgasms I get this way are so much better than the ones I get from stimulating my penis. I don't come every time, mostly because it takes quite long to get me stimulated enough that I can come.
10. My preferences match my boyfriend's quite well. He doesn't like getting fucked that much. So he definitely is the more active party in bed. I've only fucked him two or three times.
11. My favorite position is riding cowboy-style, with my boyfriend sitting. I like the penetration that way. Unfortunately, I don't come that way. To bring me to an orgasm, missionary position is the best. So our sex mostly ends in this position.
12. I really love making out. I could spend hours just kissing and touching each other's bodies - it nonetheless always leads to sex in the end anyway. I also really enjoy undressing each other slowly.
13. Since my partner and I are both working a lot, we don't have sex really regularly. Sometimes we don't see each other for a week or more, even if we live in the same town. Despite that, we mostly do it three or four times in a row when we meet each other after some time.
14. We do not live like a couple in public. But it's not like we are hiding it. If someoe asks me I say that I have a boyfriend but I do not deal with it offensively. I guess my boyfriend does it the same way. If we stay together longer, we may change it one day, but for now this is perfectly fine.
15. I like porn. In many ways. I like watching it. and also reading hentai manga. My favorite genres with manga are yaoi (gay) and yuri (lesbian). When it comes to porn movies, my favorite genres change from time to time. Most of the time it is amateur porn. I like to watch normal people doing it and not professionals.
16. My favorite porn genre for a long time was she-male sex. Recently I started watching lesbian sex. Generally everything turns me on that is playing with gender roles and crossing them.
17. What I really like about sex with girls is the taste of their vagina and their breasts. I really enjoy licking a girl and touching her breasts and playing with them.
18. I don't care much about BDSM. I think I would try it if my partner wanted to, but neither giving nor receiving pain turns me on. Some spanking during sex is OK, but i don't like it too much.
19. I usually prefer slow sex. I like when I can touch my partner and enjoy the intensity of feeling him inside. Sometimes rough sex really turns me on, but those cases are rare. I also like it when my partner comes inside me and then leaves his penis inside for some moments until it almost slips out on its own.
20. We've only done it without a condom for some weeks now. We got ourselves tested before we decided to do it without. I've never slept with someone without a condom without being tested first. I am quite afraid of AIDS and other STDs.
21. I do not identify as a cross-dresser, but sometimes I wear woman's underwear. I like the feeling of it on the skin, and the cute looks. I posses a few pieces, mostly tangas and strings, most of them open-crotch. I enjoy sex still wearing the underwear a lot.
22. Some days I've gone out with woman's underwear on. I enjoy the feeling that no one knows what you are wearing underneath. But I'm too shy to do it very often. Mostly I wear the panties underneath boxers.
23. In general, lingerie is a real turnon for me. I like that you cannot see the things you like to, but you need to imagine.
24. My affection for female underwear is somehow strange, since I am a very manly guy, judging by looks.
25. I like to try sex toys. I have a dildo, but I didn't use it for some time. The first thing on my list will be a butt plug. I was also talking with my boyfriend about a cock ring to intensify his orgasms.
2. The man I am together with is my first same-sex partner. We've been together for about half a year now.
3. Before that, I was in a relationship with a woman, but she broke up with me.
4. I always fantasized about sex with men, but I didn't try it as long as I was in a relationship. When I am in a relationship, I am law-abiding and do not cheat on my partner.
5. When my last girlfriend broke up with me, I decided to try sex with men. I started an affair with the guy I am together with now. We met each other online. It was only sex, no feelings, no kissing. We met, fucked and left each other. It went like this for some months.
6. With time, our relationship changed and we started talking and having a few beers after sex. I guess we developed something like a friendship-plus, but the plus was there before the friendship was.
7. One day after work, he called me and asked me if I'd like to come over. We sat in his flat and had some beers, when he suddenly sat over next to me and kissed me. I was really surprised, but I somehow liked it. It may sound strange, but even though we were making out for several months, I never really thought that our relationship could turn this way. However, the night that followed had the most intense sex I ever had. Since then, we've been a couple.
8. I am a bottom. I enjoy getting fucked, but I don't care that much about fucking actively. I also like receiving a blowjob. Giving head is OK to me. I like it to feel how much pleasure I can give that way. Sometimes I enjoy swallowing come, but that really depends on my mood. Usually I swallow when he is coming into my mouth. When I had sex with girls I always loved it when they swallowed, so I do now, too.
9. I can orgasm from passive anal sex. The orgasms I get this way are so much better than the ones I get from stimulating my penis. I don't come every time, mostly because it takes quite long to get me stimulated enough that I can come.
10. My preferences match my boyfriend's quite well. He doesn't like getting fucked that much. So he definitely is the more active party in bed. I've only fucked him two or three times.
11. My favorite position is riding cowboy-style, with my boyfriend sitting. I like the penetration that way. Unfortunately, I don't come that way. To bring me to an orgasm, missionary position is the best. So our sex mostly ends in this position.
12. I really love making out. I could spend hours just kissing and touching each other's bodies - it nonetheless always leads to sex in the end anyway. I also really enjoy undressing each other slowly.
13. Since my partner and I are both working a lot, we don't have sex really regularly. Sometimes we don't see each other for a week or more, even if we live in the same town. Despite that, we mostly do it three or four times in a row when we meet each other after some time.
14. We do not live like a couple in public. But it's not like we are hiding it. If someoe asks me I say that I have a boyfriend but I do not deal with it offensively. I guess my boyfriend does it the same way. If we stay together longer, we may change it one day, but for now this is perfectly fine.
15. I like porn. In many ways. I like watching it. and also reading hentai manga. My favorite genres with manga are yaoi (gay) and yuri (lesbian). When it comes to porn movies, my favorite genres change from time to time. Most of the time it is amateur porn. I like to watch normal people doing it and not professionals.
16. My favorite porn genre for a long time was she-male sex. Recently I started watching lesbian sex. Generally everything turns me on that is playing with gender roles and crossing them.
17. What I really like about sex with girls is the taste of their vagina and their breasts. I really enjoy licking a girl and touching her breasts and playing with them.
18. I don't care much about BDSM. I think I would try it if my partner wanted to, but neither giving nor receiving pain turns me on. Some spanking during sex is OK, but i don't like it too much.
19. I usually prefer slow sex. I like when I can touch my partner and enjoy the intensity of feeling him inside. Sometimes rough sex really turns me on, but those cases are rare. I also like it when my partner comes inside me and then leaves his penis inside for some moments until it almost slips out on its own.
20. We've only done it without a condom for some weeks now. We got ourselves tested before we decided to do it without. I've never slept with someone without a condom without being tested first. I am quite afraid of AIDS and other STDs.
21. I do not identify as a cross-dresser, but sometimes I wear woman's underwear. I like the feeling of it on the skin, and the cute looks. I posses a few pieces, mostly tangas and strings, most of them open-crotch. I enjoy sex still wearing the underwear a lot.
22. Some days I've gone out with woman's underwear on. I enjoy the feeling that no one knows what you are wearing underneath. But I'm too shy to do it very often. Mostly I wear the panties underneath boxers.
23. In general, lingerie is a real turnon for me. I like that you cannot see the things you like to, but you need to imagine.
24. My affection for female underwear is somehow strange, since I am a very manly guy, judging by looks.
25. I like to try sex toys. I have a dildo, but I didn't use it for some time. The first thing on my list will be a butt plug. I was also talking with my boyfriend about a cock ring to intensify his orgasms.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
1. I am a lesbian in my early twenties. My gender is hard to pin down. I usually go with genderfluid. My presentation is more feminine with tomboyish undertones.
2. I'm a bit of an amateur porn connoisseur. There tends to be more chemistry between humans who are not paid actors. Outside of the obvious reason, I enjoy amateur porn because I like to dissect the relationships between partners.
3. Generally speaking, I prefer to watch heterosexual porn. I can never get past the botox, breast implants, and the staged atmosphere of male-targeted lesbian porn to find any of it arousing.
4. I sometimes envision myself as being in the role of the man while watching porn. This terrified me at first, as I thought it implied that I was transgender.
5. There is one video where a Black woman is straddling the face of a Black man, who is on his back, pleasuring himself with his hand. Their positions do not change for the entire film. She climaxes multiple times, and he ejaculates near the end. It's hot because it disrupts the heterosexual narrative that penis-in-vagina sex is superior to all other sexual acts.
6. There is one amateur lesbian video of a buxom blonde and slender brunette which is nearly perfect. I’ve watched it dozens of times over the last few years.
7. I climax more easily while lying on my stomach. Few women have gotten me off while I was on my back. I have to be incredibly comfortable around someone in order be okay with feeling that vulnerable.
8. I had sex for the first time at 19. It was with a 40-something-year-old Guatemalan man. Whether I consented or not is up for interpretation. I was drunk, and in love with a girl living in the same city.
9. I had my first orgasm at 14, while lying on top of a body pillow. I started shifting my hips, and it just kind of... happened.
10. Melina Kanakaredes was one of the first women I fantasized about. This was when "Providence" was still on the air. I thought I only wanted her to be my sister. In retrospect, I know better.
11. I prefer sex to be versatile. I like to touch and be touched.
12. I have been in a dominant-submissive relationship before. It was erotic at first, yet I quickly became bored with being shoved into the same role each time we fooled around.
13. The same woman mentioned in #12 encouraged me to enact a rape fantasy with her.
14. While my relationship following the one in #11 was incredibly versatile, the woman was the one who exclusively wore the strap-on. I didn't mind, as it wasn't our only means of lovemaking.
15. I deep-throated #14’s baby blue strap-on.
16. I have fisted a woman before upon her request.
17. I prefer clitoral stimulation. I’ve never had a vaginal orgasm before.
18. I am subconsciously attracted to women based upon their waist-to-hip ratio. I almost always go for the curvier girls.
19. Digital penetration is more intimate for me than oral sex. I feel like a woman could do more damage with her fingers than her mouth.
20. My clitoris is so sensitive that I rarely need direct simulation to achieve orgasm. All it takes is a partner moving her fingers against my inner labia. I do not like having my clit sucked--it always feels a little painful.
21. If I am control of a sexual act/topping my partner, I can almost always climax when she does. It doesn’t matter if I am being touched, or if I am rubbing against her thigh.
22. If I am ticklish when you touch me, odds are good that I’m still not 100% comfortable around you.
23. When I was eight, I asked my 13 year-old female babysitter how babies were made. She took me into her bedroom. I straddled her, fully clothed, and she kissed me on specific places, and I responded by doing to same to her. “This is how adults make love,” she’d told me.
24. That same woman has now aged, has two children, and has been divorced twice.
25. My masturbation cycles are erratic. Sometimes, I will have an every-other-day routine. Others, I will touch myself multiple times in a day.
2. I'm a bit of an amateur porn connoisseur. There tends to be more chemistry between humans who are not paid actors. Outside of the obvious reason, I enjoy amateur porn because I like to dissect the relationships between partners.
3. Generally speaking, I prefer to watch heterosexual porn. I can never get past the botox, breast implants, and the staged atmosphere of male-targeted lesbian porn to find any of it arousing.
4. I sometimes envision myself as being in the role of the man while watching porn. This terrified me at first, as I thought it implied that I was transgender.
5. There is one video where a Black woman is straddling the face of a Black man, who is on his back, pleasuring himself with his hand. Their positions do not change for the entire film. She climaxes multiple times, and he ejaculates near the end. It's hot because it disrupts the heterosexual narrative that penis-in-vagina sex is superior to all other sexual acts.
6. There is one amateur lesbian video of a buxom blonde and slender brunette which is nearly perfect. I’ve watched it dozens of times over the last few years.
7. I climax more easily while lying on my stomach. Few women have gotten me off while I was on my back. I have to be incredibly comfortable around someone in order be okay with feeling that vulnerable.
8. I had sex for the first time at 19. It was with a 40-something-year-old Guatemalan man. Whether I consented or not is up for interpretation. I was drunk, and in love with a girl living in the same city.
9. I had my first orgasm at 14, while lying on top of a body pillow. I started shifting my hips, and it just kind of... happened.
10. Melina Kanakaredes was one of the first women I fantasized about. This was when "Providence" was still on the air. I thought I only wanted her to be my sister. In retrospect, I know better.
11. I prefer sex to be versatile. I like to touch and be touched.
12. I have been in a dominant-submissive relationship before. It was erotic at first, yet I quickly became bored with being shoved into the same role each time we fooled around.
13. The same woman mentioned in #12 encouraged me to enact a rape fantasy with her.
14. While my relationship following the one in #11 was incredibly versatile, the woman was the one who exclusively wore the strap-on. I didn't mind, as it wasn't our only means of lovemaking.
15. I deep-throated #14’s baby blue strap-on.
16. I have fisted a woman before upon her request.
17. I prefer clitoral stimulation. I’ve never had a vaginal orgasm before.
18. I am subconsciously attracted to women based upon their waist-to-hip ratio. I almost always go for the curvier girls.
19. Digital penetration is more intimate for me than oral sex. I feel like a woman could do more damage with her fingers than her mouth.
20. My clitoris is so sensitive that I rarely need direct simulation to achieve orgasm. All it takes is a partner moving her fingers against my inner labia. I do not like having my clit sucked--it always feels a little painful.
21. If I am control of a sexual act/topping my partner, I can almost always climax when she does. It doesn’t matter if I am being touched, or if I am rubbing against her thigh.
22. If I am ticklish when you touch me, odds are good that I’m still not 100% comfortable around you.
23. When I was eight, I asked my 13 year-old female babysitter how babies were made. She took me into her bedroom. I straddled her, fully clothed, and she kissed me on specific places, and I responded by doing to same to her. “This is how adults make love,” she’d told me.
24. That same woman has now aged, has two children, and has been divorced twice.
25. My masturbation cycles are erratic. Sometimes, I will have an every-other-day routine. Others, I will touch myself multiple times in a day.
Friday, November 23, 2012
1. I am a 29-year-old man. I mostly identify as male, but I don't agree with the standard behaviors expected from men (aggressiveness, initiative, dominance, etc.)
2. I am platonically attracted to women and physically attracted to men.
3. I was a virgin until age 28, when a stranger I met in a bus crossed my gaze and, after many hidden bumps and touches, gave me his number. When I went to his apartment, I insisted (perhaps too many times) that I didn't want anything anal, and he accepted it. I consider myself lucky that my first time was with someone who treated me with gentleness and respect. We haven't seen each other since.
4. When my older brother went through puberty, his body turned considerably uglier in my eyes, and I was terrified that the same would happen to me. I was revolted by my own puberty until I finally noticed that my body was not doomed to mimic his. I'm more or less glad with how it turned out.
5. I would like more chest hair, though. I have a fair amount, but I'd like lots more.
6. Women wearing a tie look extremely sexy to me. In fact, I think I like drag kings.
7. Contrary to what my friends may think, I very much do really badly want to have sex. It's just that I never learned how to get it. I'm afraid I never will.
8. I don't think I would enjoy pain in any form.
9. As a kid I would envy my sister's dolls. My mother let me play with them once, but I felt there was something very wrong about it. I dared not do it again.
10. My mother always chastised me when I didn't walk "manly" enough.
11. I remember some moments as a child when I felt I'd like to be a girl. Today I still see women as the luckier ones in this world.
12. I liked the smell of my mother's lipstick. I would put it under my nose and breathe for several seconds, afraid that my mother would find me and mistakenly conclude that I was about to put it on.
13. Two or three times I have tried to let my hair grow to my shoulders, but I've never been able to learn how to comb and style it properly.
14. I get idiotically nervous around beautiful women. And men, but they don't seem to notice.
15. I don't watch pornography. Sometimes I masturbate to photos of athletes or actors, but that's about it. I strongly dislike anything more hardcore than that.
16. My nipples are the center of the universe. Touch them and I'm yours.
17. I began masturbating at age 9, even before I had erections. I rubbed my penis against the inside of my underpants, and I remember perfectly the surprise and puzzlement of my first orgasm.
18. When I started to have erections, I had to explore different masturbation methods. My orgasms began to function very differently from that moment, even though I still couldn't ejaculate.
19. I never had wet dreams. My first ejaculation was during masturbation, at age 12.
20. I've never felt comfortable exposing my body. I choose shirts long enough to avoid revealing any portion of my belly when I stretch. As a child I would do everything to avoid going shirtless.
21. A couple times, during a shower, I suppose around age 20, I put my finger inside my anus. I didn't like or dislike it; it was just a foreign object that was doing nothing there. I tried to feel for my prostate, but nothing happened. That was the end of my anal explorations.
22. Only very few times, with great concentration and effort, have I been able to masturbate and have an orgasm without touching my penis.
23. As a teenager I often ate my own semen, mainly to leave no evidence.
24. I am very glad to be uncircumcised.
25. I fear I'll not find a life mate. I don't feel attractive enough, though both male and female friends have tried to convince me that I'm quite good-looking. But it doesn't seem enough.
2. I am platonically attracted to women and physically attracted to men.
3. I was a virgin until age 28, when a stranger I met in a bus crossed my gaze and, after many hidden bumps and touches, gave me his number. When I went to his apartment, I insisted (perhaps too many times) that I didn't want anything anal, and he accepted it. I consider myself lucky that my first time was with someone who treated me with gentleness and respect. We haven't seen each other since.
4. When my older brother went through puberty, his body turned considerably uglier in my eyes, and I was terrified that the same would happen to me. I was revolted by my own puberty until I finally noticed that my body was not doomed to mimic his. I'm more or less glad with how it turned out.
5. I would like more chest hair, though. I have a fair amount, but I'd like lots more.
6. Women wearing a tie look extremely sexy to me. In fact, I think I like drag kings.
7. Contrary to what my friends may think, I very much do really badly want to have sex. It's just that I never learned how to get it. I'm afraid I never will.
8. I don't think I would enjoy pain in any form.
9. As a kid I would envy my sister's dolls. My mother let me play with them once, but I felt there was something very wrong about it. I dared not do it again.
10. My mother always chastised me when I didn't walk "manly" enough.
11. I remember some moments as a child when I felt I'd like to be a girl. Today I still see women as the luckier ones in this world.
12. I liked the smell of my mother's lipstick. I would put it under my nose and breathe for several seconds, afraid that my mother would find me and mistakenly conclude that I was about to put it on.
13. Two or three times I have tried to let my hair grow to my shoulders, but I've never been able to learn how to comb and style it properly.
14. I get idiotically nervous around beautiful women. And men, but they don't seem to notice.
15. I don't watch pornography. Sometimes I masturbate to photos of athletes or actors, but that's about it. I strongly dislike anything more hardcore than that.
16. My nipples are the center of the universe. Touch them and I'm yours.
17. I began masturbating at age 9, even before I had erections. I rubbed my penis against the inside of my underpants, and I remember perfectly the surprise and puzzlement of my first orgasm.
18. When I started to have erections, I had to explore different masturbation methods. My orgasms began to function very differently from that moment, even though I still couldn't ejaculate.
19. I never had wet dreams. My first ejaculation was during masturbation, at age 12.
20. I've never felt comfortable exposing my body. I choose shirts long enough to avoid revealing any portion of my belly when I stretch. As a child I would do everything to avoid going shirtless.
21. A couple times, during a shower, I suppose around age 20, I put my finger inside my anus. I didn't like or dislike it; it was just a foreign object that was doing nothing there. I tried to feel for my prostate, but nothing happened. That was the end of my anal explorations.
22. Only very few times, with great concentration and effort, have I been able to masturbate and have an orgasm without touching my penis.
23. As a teenager I often ate my own semen, mainly to leave no evidence.
24. I am very glad to be uncircumcised.
25. I fear I'll not find a life mate. I don't feel attractive enough, though both male and female friends have tried to convince me that I'm quite good-looking. But it doesn't seem enough.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
we're back!
Hi, devoted readers. Sorry it's been a few months since the last post here. We're back up and running, though, and there should be posts every few days for a bit.
Also, if you haven't sent us your list yet, this would be a great time to do so! (And spread the word about the site!)
Also, if you haven't sent us your list yet, this would be a great time to do so! (And spread the word about the site!)
1. I'm pansexual, an equal opportunist, though I don't believe "gender doesn't matter." It does matter-- it just matters less than the soul; and it is something to play with, not a restriction. I'm female-but-genderfluid.
2. My first and most powerful attractions were to beautiful, feminine men. I still hope I will find one someday; most male androgynes I've met are gay.
3. Regardless, I find many more women than men attractive in both a physical and personal dimension. Walking down the street is overwhelming.
4. Somehow, I am still effectively equal-opportunity: this makes the fewer men I find attractive stand out all the more. Which, on top of sheer numbers, is possibly the reason that my three major relationships have been with men.
5. Those relationships have overlapped. I'm polyamorous. I'm still with the person to whom I lost my virginity.
6. I find roping girls arduous. I have casual sex with them, but I've never had a girlfriend, to my immeasurable disappointment.
7. With all sexes, I am profoundly gynocentric. I like cocks a lot, but sex, to me, is about vaginas. Mine or other people's, it doesn't matter which. Sex with men is about the cock's reaction to a vagina. I can't fathom finding my own pussy disgusting-- I'm honestly a bit sad for the women who do. I relish my body and what it does for me. (This is speaking generally, of course. I'm sure I'd have no problem having sex with an attractive transgendered person if the opportunity arose.)
8. Perhaps related: I have dominant tendencies. I feel most feminine when I am dominant. I think this is because, after a lifetime of encouragement to subsume my desires, I relish expressing them. That and I like to make someone feel... perhaps “objectified” is not the word: I mean something more like “cherished.” But with a harsh edge to it. I don't feel much in common with the BDSM scene-- this dominance doesn't have anything to do with a fetish for latex, feet, or degradation-by-feminizing men (which is honestly insulting to me).
9. If you burrow under the strata of my generosity, absentmindedness, and generally friendly disposition, you'll find an insane sexual sadist in me. Drawing blood turns me on. I have never acted on those desires.
10. A lot of women are submissive; and some resent me because I'm more dominant. If I'm honest, their sexuality skeeves me out as well, but ultimately I blame fucked-up gender dynamics for that reaction. Obviously there's nothing wrong with what they want, or what I want.
11. Though if one of my boyfriends wanted to tie me up, I think I might be amenable to that as long as it were an exercise in trust and love and I weren't made to feel submissive.
12. My masculine side wants to be gallant, heroic, boyish, rakish. One of my long-term fantasies is the elegant older woman and the pageboy (with me in the latter role, of course).
13. One of my boyfriends goes well out of his way to acknowledge and respect the genderqueer side of me, despite being hetero, and I am so, so grateful to him.
14. Gynocentric as I am, I still love strap-on play-- with women, but also with straight men. It's intoxicating to see a man orgasm in that position.
15. I was raised religiously, with a powerful sense of how sexist the world can be. Becoming comfortable with my sexuality has taken time. When I was masturbating as a teenager, the idea of sex with the man behind me was repulsive: it felt degrading. When I tried it, though, it felt natural, and of course quite pleasurable. There have been a lot of incidents like that, but occasionally I'll try something that sounds iffy to me and freak out afterwards. I still can't give a guy head when he's towering over me, and I would probably stop altogether if he tried to face-fuck me (none of my boyfriends have tried it, thank god).
16. This is also so odd given what I've said, but one of my oldest recurring fantasies involves imagining myself in the male role of sex, both with other men and women.
17. I'd absolutely love to dominate a pair of bisexual (or bi/homo-curious) men. One of my favorite bits of porn features this, and it was incredibly heartening to see how many gay dudes responded favorably to it.
18. I'm becoming sad about my age, though I'm still in my twenties. As a woman, I feel as though I have a hard expiration date, and I resent the fact that I was most desired when I was jailbait and vulnerable and so, so much less knowledgeable about who I am, what I want, and how to get it.
19. I'm afraid of sex losing its novelty. In long-term relationships, I'd prefer to only have sex two or three times a week, though I have the appetite for more. A sense of anticipation is an amazing aphrodisiac, but I don't want to be howling at the moon every night.
20. The idea of actively desiring someone, as a female, is important to me. So much of the way we think of female desire is desire as the result of being desired by men, if that makes any sense, and I can't stand it. I actively lust after people, and after sex.
21. The loss of my libido I experienced while taking birth control fucked with me (ironic pun intended). I was on it for a year and a half and in that half, my sex drive died. It felt as though a part of me was lost. To regain it I changed my diet, began lifting, and began manipulating my hormones through nutrition and supplements. I've regained my old libido and then some (and now I can manipulate it!).
22. Masturbation is an important part of my sexual life and sexual exploration, but I can't help but hate a lot of porn. I know much of it is harmless, but each of my boyfriends have had sex problems as the result of it, and I can't help but resent the rotating cast of skinny white 18 -year-olds that makes up so much of the porn roster. I just wish that more realistic and inventive porn were more popular.
23. That said, I totally consume porn, both video and in the form of dirty fanfic, haha. I don't have anything against it on principle.
24. I do like vanilla heterosexual sex quite a lot. It's odd: I love the drama of heterosexual sex, the anticipation of penetration, the reverence I get, how vulnerable men are. But with women I feel more myself, and I feel that fucking gender is less dangerous. With men, there is always the risk of emasculation. I hate the whole phenomenon of emasculation-- I hate the inherent sexism of it-- but I also love and respect the boys I've been with and have no desire to damage their pride. They can't help that they were raised with certain expectations.
25. I guess that's why I want a feminine boy sometime. I want an ultimate triumph over gender. I want someone as fluid as I am.
2. My first and most powerful attractions were to beautiful, feminine men. I still hope I will find one someday; most male androgynes I've met are gay.
3. Regardless, I find many more women than men attractive in both a physical and personal dimension. Walking down the street is overwhelming.
4. Somehow, I am still effectively equal-opportunity: this makes the fewer men I find attractive stand out all the more. Which, on top of sheer numbers, is possibly the reason that my three major relationships have been with men.
5. Those relationships have overlapped. I'm polyamorous. I'm still with the person to whom I lost my virginity.
6. I find roping girls arduous. I have casual sex with them, but I've never had a girlfriend, to my immeasurable disappointment.
7. With all sexes, I am profoundly gynocentric. I like cocks a lot, but sex, to me, is about vaginas. Mine or other people's, it doesn't matter which. Sex with men is about the cock's reaction to a vagina. I can't fathom finding my own pussy disgusting-- I'm honestly a bit sad for the women who do. I relish my body and what it does for me. (This is speaking generally, of course. I'm sure I'd have no problem having sex with an attractive transgendered person if the opportunity arose.)
8. Perhaps related: I have dominant tendencies. I feel most feminine when I am dominant. I think this is because, after a lifetime of encouragement to subsume my desires, I relish expressing them. That and I like to make someone feel... perhaps “objectified” is not the word: I mean something more like “cherished.” But with a harsh edge to it. I don't feel much in common with the BDSM scene-- this dominance doesn't have anything to do with a fetish for latex, feet, or degradation-by-feminizing men (which is honestly insulting to me).
9. If you burrow under the strata of my generosity, absentmindedness, and generally friendly disposition, you'll find an insane sexual sadist in me. Drawing blood turns me on. I have never acted on those desires.
10. A lot of women are submissive; and some resent me because I'm more dominant. If I'm honest, their sexuality skeeves me out as well, but ultimately I blame fucked-up gender dynamics for that reaction. Obviously there's nothing wrong with what they want, or what I want.
11. Though if one of my boyfriends wanted to tie me up, I think I might be amenable to that as long as it were an exercise in trust and love and I weren't made to feel submissive.
12. My masculine side wants to be gallant, heroic, boyish, rakish. One of my long-term fantasies is the elegant older woman and the pageboy (with me in the latter role, of course).
13. One of my boyfriends goes well out of his way to acknowledge and respect the genderqueer side of me, despite being hetero, and I am so, so grateful to him.
14. Gynocentric as I am, I still love strap-on play-- with women, but also with straight men. It's intoxicating to see a man orgasm in that position.
15. I was raised religiously, with a powerful sense of how sexist the world can be. Becoming comfortable with my sexuality has taken time. When I was masturbating as a teenager, the idea of sex with the man behind me was repulsive: it felt degrading. When I tried it, though, it felt natural, and of course quite pleasurable. There have been a lot of incidents like that, but occasionally I'll try something that sounds iffy to me and freak out afterwards. I still can't give a guy head when he's towering over me, and I would probably stop altogether if he tried to face-fuck me (none of my boyfriends have tried it, thank god).
16. This is also so odd given what I've said, but one of my oldest recurring fantasies involves imagining myself in the male role of sex, both with other men and women.
17. I'd absolutely love to dominate a pair of bisexual (or bi/homo-curious) men. One of my favorite bits of porn features this, and it was incredibly heartening to see how many gay dudes responded favorably to it.
18. I'm becoming sad about my age, though I'm still in my twenties. As a woman, I feel as though I have a hard expiration date, and I resent the fact that I was most desired when I was jailbait and vulnerable and so, so much less knowledgeable about who I am, what I want, and how to get it.
19. I'm afraid of sex losing its novelty. In long-term relationships, I'd prefer to only have sex two or three times a week, though I have the appetite for more. A sense of anticipation is an amazing aphrodisiac, but I don't want to be howling at the moon every night.
20. The idea of actively desiring someone, as a female, is important to me. So much of the way we think of female desire is desire as the result of being desired by men, if that makes any sense, and I can't stand it. I actively lust after people, and after sex.
21. The loss of my libido I experienced while taking birth control fucked with me (ironic pun intended). I was on it for a year and a half and in that half, my sex drive died. It felt as though a part of me was lost. To regain it I changed my diet, began lifting, and began manipulating my hormones through nutrition and supplements. I've regained my old libido and then some (and now I can manipulate it!).
22. Masturbation is an important part of my sexual life and sexual exploration, but I can't help but hate a lot of porn. I know much of it is harmless, but each of my boyfriends have had sex problems as the result of it, and I can't help but resent the rotating cast of skinny white 18 -year-olds that makes up so much of the porn roster. I just wish that more realistic and inventive porn were more popular.
23. That said, I totally consume porn, both video and in the form of dirty fanfic, haha. I don't have anything against it on principle.
24. I do like vanilla heterosexual sex quite a lot. It's odd: I love the drama of heterosexual sex, the anticipation of penetration, the reverence I get, how vulnerable men are. But with women I feel more myself, and I feel that fucking gender is less dangerous. With men, there is always the risk of emasculation. I hate the whole phenomenon of emasculation-- I hate the inherent sexism of it-- but I also love and respect the boys I've been with and have no desire to damage their pride. They can't help that they were raised with certain expectations.
25. I guess that's why I want a feminine boy sometime. I want an ultimate triumph over gender. I want someone as fluid as I am.
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