1. I'm a 34 year old black male and I've only had sexual experiences with two people.

2. The first sexual experience was a blowjob by a stripper at an after-hours club. My best friend at the time paid for it. I found out later from my best friend that I was supposed to apparently have sex with her, but I didn't even cum from the blowjob (I wasn't even able to maintain an erection), and I knew that I wouldn't have enjoyed having sex with her.

3. The second sexual experience was with a guy less than a year ago. I met him online, and after 2 months of chatting with him, we met up and spent a week together.

4. I still feel sorta guilty about that first and only (so far) sexual experience with that guy because he's physically handicapped.

5. I have had feelings that I was gay since I was 16, but I hid them behind my main interest because I thought being gay was the worst thing I could ever be.

6. I truly appreciate women, but I just don't find them sexually attractive enough to have sex with.

7. I value love with another person way more than I do sex with another person.

8. I fall in love too easily. I've been trying to change that about myself.

9. I'm heavily closeted to the rest of the world about my sexuality, although I'm out to my immediate family (well the 2 main members), and 2 of my friends that I knew before I officially accepted the fact that I'm gay.

10. The reason I'm closeted is because I don't want the stress of having to defend or protect myself from others who feel that gay is worth committing an act of violence against them. I also don't want my sexuality to define my personality.

11. The first time I really masturbated and came from it, I was 21. Up until then, I was scared by the stuff that people talked about in school, about how only losers masturbated, so I just didn't do it.

12. Ever since then, I have masturbated at least once a day, sometimes more.

13. The longest I've ever went without masturbating since starting was one week.

14. I want desperately to fall in love with the right man, and be all they intimately need.

15. I also feel like being the only man that another man intimately needs will mean that they will view me the same way.

16. I find belching to be sexually arousing.

17. Despite my size, I am attracted to thinner men. Not the ones who are necessarily in excellent shape, but just thinner than me.

18. Although I'm gay, I really don't like effeminate gay men. I can be friends with anyone, but having one for a mate would be difficult for me to deal with. My reasoning for this goes back to #10.

19. I consider myself to be a part of the chub/chaser community of gay men.

20. I never felt sexually attractive until I learned that there were others who were attracted to a body like mine. Part of the reason I denied being gay for so long was that I thought that no one would ever find me sexually attractive.

21. I have made videos of myself masturbating and posted them online in secret. I'm not really sure why I did it, but I didn't do it just to be seen since I think I'm very average as far as penis length goes.

22. Sometimes I wish my penis were an inch thicker, but I'm too afraid of having any type of surgery done for the fear that what I already have won't work properly after said surgery.

23. I don't necessarily care for anal sex, but I would do it for my partner to keep them happy.

24. More than anything, I love passion and intimacy with another man.

25. I think this whole experience of noting 25 things about my sexuality has been very liberating while allowing me to keep my anonymity.