1. I remember asking my older brother what pud was when I was a kid. He told me to ask my dad. I'm still suspicious that he didn't know either.
2. I remember trying hard to masturbate when I was around 9 or 10--it didn't work the first few times.
3. I remember worrying that I had harmed my penis during one of these failed attempts.
4. I remember being more relieved than ecstatic the first time I came--glad that my equipment worked.
5. I remember shoving a small wooden wand from a saxophone stand up my ass as a kid--probably age 12 or so.
6. The first time I saw a photo of a pussy, I had to ask my brother and his friend what the hell I was looking at. He again told me to ask my dad--then he remembered that we had swiped the nudie mag from under my Dad's dresser, changed his mind, and explained the image.
7. I sucked my first tit in the summer between 6th and 7th grade. I tried to eat her pussy, but she wasn't having it. I remember her box (through her jeans, as close as I got), smelled strongly of fabric softener.
8. I lost my virginity to a McDonald's co-worker. I was 15, and worried that I wouldn't lose my cherry before age 16. I had read that 15 was the national average for boys.
9. Like a dumbass, when cherry popper asked if I had had sex before, I said yes, and acted indignant.
10. During my first sexual escapade with a partner, I was unable to find the vaginal cavity without assistance, and I came after about 5 strokes. No condom (?) (!). Jesus.
11. My first sex partner, after sex the first time, told me she 'liked to be called the next day'. Did I call her? No. Did I ever get to fuck her again? No. As a former horny boy, I still ask: "Why are horny boys so fucking stupid?"
12. I fucked a hooker for the first time when I was in the Navy, during a weekend off from bootcamp.
13. I fucked my next hooker when I was overseas, in Israel. The condom broke. I am glad I didn't get a disease. I hope she didn't get preggers. Glad I didn't come. (Yes, I know pre-cum can make babies)
14. I've only taken the virginity of one person, but I also fucked her ass before anyone else. I think that should count as two virgins.
15. With my first real girlfriend (the virgin), I felt compelled to act as though I was all-knowing about sex. As most high-school girls do, she was happy to follow my lead. This was awesome, as I got to hump her butt, AND we played with edible bodypaints when I was still 16, and she was 15. She once painted my nuts orange, and then licked my unshaven sac clean, humming and speaking 'orange, orange orange' as she licked and sucked my balls. She was a 6-foot tall, blonde, hot track athlete, so yeah, the memory has stuck with me.
16. From age 18 until age 22, I had very little sex. Perhaps 3 or 5 times per year. This includes hookers. Ouch.
17. At age 22, when I left the Navy, I met a cute girl and dated her for a couple of years. She was willing to have sex several times per week, but she clearly didn't like it much.
18. I did have anal sex with that same girlfriend from age 22. She suggested it.
19. The largest boobs I have ever played with during sex were f cups. They didn't have much sensation in the nips, she told me.
20. I've discovered that I like the feeling of a well-designed butt plug.
21. Vibrating butt plugs are even better, but I'll take a well-shaped butt plug with no vibes over a poorly shaped vibrating plug any day.
22. I just bought a $48 (with shipping) fake pussy called sex in a can. To celebrate, I had 3 hits of pot, inserted a brand new butt plug in me bum, and humped this fake pussy until I came. Twice. Mind-bending!
23. I'm worried that if my wife doesn't start doing kegel exercises, I won't be able to come in her pussy anymore. My new fake pussy is very tight.
24. I sucked a real dick once, and I'll probably do it again. I don't remember ever being interested in stiff dicks (other than mine), until I started watching porn. I still think that kissing men is a turn-off, but I would love to suck porn star Mark Ashley's lovely, upturned stiff cock.
25. I still visit hookers on occasion. The next hooker I see will probably be a tranny. She has an 8 inch cock that I am going to try and fit in my ass. Wish me luck!