1. When I was 5 I saw my uncle's stash of porn magazines in the garage, next to my Barbie play house.

2. I made my Barbies have sex to Shania Twain music.

3. When I was 12, I read my uncle's magazines, which were under the bathroom sink. It made me feel like peeing.

4. My grandma had a pink candlestick. I lit a match and tried to melt the wax and form the shape of a penis. This became my first dildo that never fit inside me. I would read grandma's Cosmopolitan magazines about how to hold a man's cock, and rub my candle on my nipples.

5. I found my mom's toy stash. I used her vibrator.

6. I lost my virginity in a dirty lake to a small cock. He was my boyfriend of two years (and we had only fingered each other up until that point). We were 15 and did not wear condoms, but he held me tight. I was disgusted.

7. We never (in the 2 1/2 years we dated) orgasmed. Either of us.

8. When I was 16, I discovered ORGASM. I stayed up all night making myself cum over and over again. I skipped school the next day.

9. When I was 17 I started dating a new guy. We fucked everywhere. I gave him head in his car while he drove. We had sex in his room when we should have been at school and his parents were at work. On the couch. In the hallway. In the shower. In my room. In the back seat. In parking structures. I was 5'9" and he was 5'4". I never orgasmed with him either. Maybe once.

10. My favorite way to masturbate is to turn on the bathtub faucet and drape my legs over the side, so the water pounds me.

11. I once gave head to a friend in a graveyard.

12. I started dating the next guy when I was 18. We had a very calm relationship. I wasn't sexually attracted to him, but sex was really not a big deal at that point. We made out for the first time and I made him orgasm in his pants. He left the room abruptly and I played stupid.

13. A week later #12 politely asked me for sex. I obliged, but he was a virgin and the condom was a K.O. We had a flawless victory the next evening. He held my ass like it was gold and kissed me like he meant it. I blushed when I saw the size of his package. I faked an orgasm out of courtesy and went home and masturbated.

14. #12 took a psychology of sex class in college. I recommend that class to anyone. He fucks like a champ. I guess he doesn't really "fuck." He makes love. We were attending different colleges, and saw each other every two weeks. I would watch for his car out the window we missed each other, sincerely. It was very romantic, and we'd spend the weekend in each other's arms. I faked every time.

15. When we were apart, we would masturbate on webcam with each other. He sent me lingerie in the mail. My boobs didn't fit. I felt weird about it. It kind of made me mad at him, so out of spite, I told him I had been faking the whole time. He smiled at me and said we would try new things. He asked me what I liked, and showed me a few amazing positions he learned in class. He went slowly. He went fast. Everything felt great, but the attempts usually ended in me crying. I had anorgasmia.

16. One night at my parents' house, he snuck over and we worked on orgasming again. He told me he loved me and that was my breaking point. Success! Then I cried and he held me. He commented that my real orgasms were way sexier than my fake ones.

17. I started watching lesbian porn and thinking about lesbians while we had sex. It made me go faster.

18. I started reading about tentacled monsters and slimy alien sex. Weirdness got me off.

19. #12 and I had dated for nearly two years, and then I cheated on him with an STD infested tool.

20. While having the "one night stand" with #19, I felt sad and self-destructive. I laid on the bed (my bed) and just let him do his thing. I did not invite him over to have sex, but to hang out and when it went where it did, I did nothing to stop it. I ended up lying to #12. I told him I was raped by some crazy guy I made up. He made me file a police report. I lied to the cops, because #12 was in the room. They went through a large investigation and then they gave up and apologized sincerely to me. I managed to fake cry, though I'm still not convinced they fully believed me.

21. The lie ate me up inside. I kept it going for a year after that. Then I told #12 the truth. We broke up. Got back together. Broke up again. Ironically, we never stopped having sex.

22. I met a guy who sang in a band. We kind-of-dated for about 2 weeks, watched a Pete and Pete marathon and had sex, a couple times, including anal sex (he had a small cock too. He used the excuse that he was Irish). After that, I tried to have anal sex with #12, but it was too large and painful.

23. I went to my first gyno when I was 20. They said I looked healthy, but then the results came back. I had HPV. Human Papilloma Virus, which can easily turn into cervical cancer. I also got birth control pills, which made my bladder bleed and made peeing hurt severely. I stopped taking it and stopped having promiscuous sex. I still had sex with #12.

24. I've been talking to this guy online who inspires much of my masturbatory inclinations. He's visiting me in a few weeks. It'll be hard to not rip his clothes off.

25. I crave to be more innocent.