1. When I was a very little kid I liked pool jets. A lot. Also, bathtub faucet water, which is an angle that’s only easily accessible when you’re a very little kid.

2. When I was maybe young-teenager-ish and would masturbate, I’d feel so guilty I would burn my hands with a candle. This was really a turn-on more than a punishment, so I’m not quite sure what the point was.

3. I didn’t kiss anyone till I was 19. Mostly because I’d been dating boys who I found hopelessly unattractive, but I went on dates with them because for some reason I thought to turn them down wouldn’t be polite. Then I wouldn’t let them touch me. My first kiss was with a girl at a party, one of those parties where people are just drunk and kissing everybody. It was a nice little kiss, sort of sunny and innocent, and then she turned around and kissed the boy behind me. I’m sure she had no idea that was my first kiss!

4. I wandered around for a long time feeling fragile and dazed because I knew I was a lesbian-or-something-like-that but was too scared to let anyone else know.

5. I knew the girl who would become my first girlfriend liked me because of the way she played with my hair. We made out the first night we met, outside in the school’s courtyard on a blanket with another couple who were also busy snoodling each other. When we kissed I was so nervous and turned on that I felt sick to my stomach. She said “you taste like mint tea” and I said “you taste like iron” and all I could think of was that iron is poisonous to fairies.

6. When we were together she would mark me up, even when I told her no. I would have embarrassing bruises on my neck and torso from where she sucked too hard. I still don’t like people to leave marks.

7. The first and only person I have had sex with is my current partner. The first time was a really great experience, we were so ready for it and we were already in love. We’d just gotten back from seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I had on lacy underthings under my boy clothes. I remember more about touching zir then about zir touching me. But the whole time was gentle and caring and good. After that we went into sort of a frenzy and did almost nothing but have sex for days!

8. Having sex for the first time took two tries though because I stopped breathing and my hands went numb! It took awhile before I learned to breathe normally during sex. I learned to follow my partner’s breath.

9. When I have sex I generally think of myself as male, strap-on or no. I’m pretty happily female-ish the rest of the time, if a bit on the genderqueer side. But it’s always sexy to be called “boy.”

10. Before I actually started having sex I thought I’d be a total and complete submissive. In reality, I’m pretty switchy. I love topping because it gives me a chance to come up with creative scenarios and pay close attention to my partner’s pleasure. I like bottoming because it allows me to get lost in sensation.

11. I love anal sex. Giving and receiving. It’s powerful and a little naughty.

12. I think I would have a difficult time having sex with a person with an original-plumbing penis. I have a terrible gag reflex and I only like vaginal penetration occasionally and with something very small.

13. I like oral sex from time to time. Giving and receiving.

14. The craziest place I have had sex was in a snowbank by a frozen river (the clothes stayed on). Everything was still and beautiful.

15. I make my own bondage gear. I sewed beautiful wrist-and-ankle cuffs, they are vel-cro with a celestial pattern. They’re for adorable bondage. I like rope bondage too, tying my partner up in pretty patterns.

16. When I first started having sex I would see strange patterns and pictures during, especially if I was sleepy. I don’t anymore, but I am also less inclined to have sleepy sex now, preferring morning or afternoon lovemaking.

17. Most of the time my sexual fantasies are about gay-boy couples. I don’t know why. I also like stories about hardcore s&m that are way more intense than anything I’d probably want to try in real life.

18. I sometimes wonder how things would be with a different partner. Since I’ve only had sex with one person, sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on variety of experience. I am in a very monogamous relationship. I can’t even have a sexual dream about someone other than my partner without feeling terrible about it IN THE DREAM. Sometimes I’d like to kiss other people; not sleep with, just kiss. I really like kissing and when I’m single I’ll kiss just about anyone and not attach much serious emotion to it. But I have never cheated/gone beyond pre-discussed boundaries.

19. I like porn, especially pretty-dykes-who-actually-look-queer porn. I cringe at the loooong fingernails in lots of the designed-for-straight-men lesbian porn. My partner likes penis porn. I don’t usually seek out porn with boys-who-have-penises on my own, but it’s hot when we watch it together.

20. I like vibrators. And butt-plugs. And dildos, more for use on my partner than on myself. I have a sizeable and still-growing toy collection.

21. Smell is a big part of attraction for me. When my partner started taking testosterone, zir smell changed. When ze stopped again, ze smelled really really good to me and I wanted to pounce zir all the time. My nose likes estrogen-based people I guess.

22. When asked to name my sexual orientation/identity I use “queer” these days. It’s umbrella enough to encompass me. It’s a social identity too, and a way of thinking outside of “gay” and “straight.”

23. From time to time I like packing and then going to the dance club and grinding with my boi.

24. I do drag/cabaret, sometimes with very little on. Taking my clothes off in a bar full of people feels more empowering and less objectifying than I would have imagined. I love it that people find me--a very far cry from traditional media beauty--sexy. I like to make people question their notions of what’s attractive. I like to turn gay boys on.

25. I think I am lucky to get to express my sexuality often, safely, with someone I love. I have never had bad sex.