1. I've got all female anatomy, and I like all my female anatomy, but I identify much more strongly as a guy than as a girl, woman, man, or boy. It just feels right. So I want to begin to claim the label "genderqueer," but I'm worried no one will take me seriously or, worse, people who are much more gender non-conforming will be offended that I would call myself that, too. I don't want to trivialize the much harder road people who are more visibly gender-variant are on.

2. I had my first sexual contact when I was 14, with my first serious boyfriend. He would finger me and I would stroke him, and no one ever had an orgasm, but I think of those dizzy, secretive, hormonally crazed summer nights with deep fondness.

3. My first exposure to the queer world was through my first boyfriend, who more accurately would be called my first girlfriend. She told me a few months after we began having penetrative sex that she'd always wished she'd been born female.

4. Despite #3, I didn't realize I wasn't straight until about a year later. At that time, my first girlfriend had become increasingly emotionally abusive and the final straw that made me break up with her came when she refused to allow me to go to a hot tub party of a mutual female friend. I realized afterwards that the reason that one controlling act and not all the others upset me enough to break up with her was that I was crazy in love with that mutual friend.

5. I identify as a submissive masochist, but I think I may be more of a switch on the inside. Unfortunately, I'm terrified of my sadism, so I don't think I'll ever be able to let it out.

6. It wasn't until I took an online psychological research survey about sexual assault experiences that I realized one of my girlfriends had raped me, many times. I don't know how to feel about this, or what to do about it. I would say no, and she'd pressure me with anger, wheedling, and accusations of not finding her attractive until I would have sex with her. Sometimes I would just skip the coercion part and have sex with her when I knew she expected it, no matter what I wanted. Often, I would feel a growing sense of dread and nausea as the time for bed came nearer, knowing that I would not be given a choice of whether I wanted to have sex or not. The longer this kept up, the more often I didn't want to. While I was trying to figure out if I should break up with her, every time we had sex I felt like screaming, crying, and puking all at once. I'm not sure how it was that I didn't realize this wasn't okay.

7. I told many friends about what was going on, and none of them thought she was raping me, either. At worst they thought she was demanding or irrational.

8. Despite #6, my favorite sexual fantasies are and have nearly always been rape fantasies.

9. I began masturbating when I was 6, and found myself getting aroused at thoughts of cruel, dominating, non-consensual sexuality, although I didn't know what any of it was called or what it meant. Princess Jasmine in her gold chains, being yanked around and spat on by Jaffar, sent me into spirals of lust. I had my toy ponies divided into two countries, and have one be conquered by other, who would proceed to, as I know it was now but didn't then, rape them with cunnilingus.

10. Because of #8 and #9, I have wondered if something happened to me when I was a child. I don't remember anything, and I don't have negative feelings towards any male relatives, and I also believe that fantasies revolving around power are perfectly normal to have, so most of the time I am firmly convinced that I was just born kinky.

11. I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship with a cisman and ciswoman. It's the most fulfilled and happy I've ever been.

12. #11's cisman is very perverted, and I enjoy more than he knows every time he unveils a new level of his kinkiness. On top of that, I thrill to have discovered someone who won't be repulsed by my own perversions.

13. #11's cisman rarely goes as far as I want him to go, but I know that he also stops himself short of how far he wants to go, too, being afraid of pushing me too far despite the fact that I have a safeword.

14. #11's ciswoman is a switch, and she's much more free with her dominance and sadism. The very first time we did a rape scene together, I had to use my safeword. I regret now that I did - I think I was just afraid of how deeply we were both into it.

15. I masturbate to sociological studies. The ones that get me especially hot are those that support hypotheses with well crafted quantitative research - those high levels of statistical significance really turn me on. Another type that turns me on are those studies that use thought experiments and slowly build to their conclusion. The layering of evidence and logical connections excite me like slow foreplay.

16. I have had sex with 22 people. I turned 21 last week.

17. Oh, about that polyamorous relationship - the cisman is 46, the ciswoman is 20. His age is less important than I thought it would be.

18. I have sex with people for all sorts of reasons, and I'm a big supporter of sex being something without inherent meaning. It can be like a friendly game of hopscotch, or it can be a way to express deep love. It can be highly narcissistic or giving. It can be transcendent in a multitude of ways. It can affirm ties, it can revel in anonymity. It can be anything you and your partner(s) want it to be.

19. I actually prefer threesome sex. Maybe I'd like moresome sex even more, but I've yet to try it. For some reason, relating in threes feels most natural for me.

20. I became wet instantaneously when #11's cisman told me a fantasy he'd had of me being a young man. I was wearing my strap-on when he told me this, and he proceeded to suck my cock. I came within two minutes. Since then, I've fantasized more and more often of being a young man, in all sorts of situations. For some reason, when I do this, I'm more likely to fantasize something romantic and gentle.

21. I would fuck most of the people I'm friends with, enthusiastically.

22. Reading about that study that says women register sexual response to videos of bonobos mating relieved me greatly. Animal Planet mating season shows always made me feel a little turned on, and I had been worried I was a closet zoophiliac.

23. I know smoking is bad for your health, but I have about 20 photos of sexy girls smoking saved in my porn folder.

24. There is a certain way to touch the area around my clit that I've only been able to get right with a high powered vibrator that #11's ciswoman can do with her tongue, just perfect, every time. When that spot is touched in just that way, I can orgasm nearly continuously for as long as the stimulation continues or I can't take anymore, and will usually also ejaculate.

25. When I'm frustrated, I get incredibly aroused. Marble Madness was a lust-drenched video game in my world.