1. I tell people I'm a bisexual switch. I like girls, I like boys. I can top and I can be submissive. I think when they're talking about sexuality being fluid, they talk about me.
2. I'm also somewhat asexual (biromantic?), though I don't know if that's a correct label for it. I get turned on, I like kissing, I like being on a receiving end of gestures of affection. I just don't want to have sex.
3. When I'm in a relationship, I have sex, because I know the other person enjoys it. For me, it's like watching a game I have no interest in, because my partner enjoys it. I don't mind doing it, I just get very little out of it.
4. I've never told any of my partners I don't enjoy sex. I'm afraid they would think it means I"m broken or that I've been abused as a child or that all the times we had sex it wasn't completely consensual.
5. When I start having sex with a new partner, I top to learn all their responses, the sounds they make. And then I compare it with my own detachment.
6. I developed an interest in the BDSM community, because their lifestyle, while sexual, doesn't have to contain actual sex.
7. I'm considering a poly relationship with two primary partners, so I could get all my emotional needs met while they would have sex with each other, rarely involving me.
8. I don't understand the point of anal sex. It's the only thing I always say no to. It just seems stupid.
9. I do sometimes wonder if I'm missing out by not wanting to have sex.
10. When I top in a BDSM scene I rarely include intercourse, unless the bottom asks for it specifically.
11. When I act as the submissive, I tell all my tops that I'm into this for the power play and not actual sex and I ask them to not include intercourse, unless they feel the scene really calls for it.
12. When I really enjoy a scene and the dom moves in for sex, I sometimes safeword so that the good experience isn't spoiled with "meh, whatever."
13. People orgasm when having sex, or when they masturbate. I hear it's an amazing experience. It's more of a fairy tale for me, or an urban legend.
14. I watch porn like any other movie genre.
15. I like using handcuffs. They allow me to limit the other person's involvement.
16. I lost my virginity at 19. It seemed like a thing to do at a time.
17. I lost it to a girl.
18. I don't like to discuss people's sexuality and I don't consider their sexuality to have any influence on their personality.
19. Mostly because I don't want them to define me using my sexuality.
20. Just like I've never told my romantic partners about my approach to sex, I've never shared it with friends or family.
21. I've never reached out to people who identify as asexual because I'm afraid that if they perceive sex and sexuality differently it would mean there's something wrong with me.
22. I'm a strong advocate for bisexuality and the visibility of bisexuals. I feel like they are misunderstood by both straights and gays. I think that mainstream doesn't trully grasp the idea that a bisexual woman is still bisexual when she dates a man, and a bisexual man is still bisexual if he dates a girl. I consider it harmful if a bisexual woman is called a lesbian, just because she's dating a girl (or being called straight just because she's with a man). I feel it somehow invalidates all her previous relationships with men, making them less meaningful.
23. I'm so passionate about recognition of bisexuality, because I feel that once the mainstream fully understands and starts recognizing bisexuality, it'll be a step closer for people to understand asexuality.
24. I decided to submit my 25 things here because everybody here is so sex-positive and open about what they like and how they like it. I'd like to think at least some of them would be understanding and supportive of my different view on the subject.
25. And just to make it clear: I was not abused as a child, I didn't have any negative sexual encounters, I wasn't raped or sexually assaulted. I enjoy intimacy, I like to make my partners happy, even if I don't get any satisfaction from it. It's just the way I'm wired.
