1. I am ashamed of and disgusted by most of my desires, even though I find them blameless and laudable from anyone else. I frequently wish I were asexual like my partner.

2. I'm a cisgendered woman in her late twenties, and I identify as bisexual because my actual orientation is too unstable to be pinned down.

3. There are things I want which I'm unable to articulate well enough to ask for; the more chance I have of getting them, the less able I am to talk about them. I have scared people away by being honest and open before. Worse than scaring people away is the incredulous stare.

4. I'm submissive and into things which are categorized as "edgeplay" on all the sites I've been to; I've been to BDSM clubs but I hate them, and I dislike strongly almost all the doms I've met.

5. I don't think I'm ever going to find someone who is right for me.

6. I was sexually abused as a child and as a teenager; one of the reasons I loathe my personal kinks so much is that a lot of them are very transparently linked to those experiences. It's hard to accept that what caused me so much unhappiness now gets me off.

7. I'm very open about my particular sexual tastes and I feel like I have to set a good example in terms of self-acceptance, so I can talk about all kinds of deviance but paradoxically never about how it makes me feel revolted by myself.

8. I've discovered most of my sexual tastes by accident and through fiction.

9. Thanks to a couple of sour relationships and one-night-stands who weren't very kind, I'm now convinced that people will make fun of me if I look like I'm enjoying sex, which makes it harder to enjoy it.

10. I don't masturbate as much as I'd like to. My usual reasons are self-loathing, tiredness, and the feeling that if I do I'm somehow admitting that no one else would ever want to touch me.

11. So far, nothing anyone has done has been able to convince me that they find me attractive.

12. My best friends know more about my sexuality than anyone I've slept with does.

13. I'm most attracted to people who are a lot younger than me, but can't do anything about it because I assume that they'll think I'm a nasty older person. I'm assured that this is all in my head.

14. I'm attracted to men and to women, but not really to penises very much; the people I'm most attracted to are cis women and trans men, and I have enough trans friends to know that lumping them together like that is offensive. My libido doesn't care about that, but it's one of the things which makes me feel bad about my sexuality.

15. I frequently crack jokes or end up laughing during sex, and make self-deprecating remarks. Sometimes I think my interest in being gagged or choked is just so that I don't feel that I have to disclaim everything.

16. In recent years it's become the case that I can't get off without choking myself; my last partner wouldn't go to the length that I wanted to because of concerns for my safety and potential for brain damage.

17. The one part of my sexuality that I'm not revolted by is the part that makes people boggle and/or refuse to sleep with me, which doesn't really help toward self-acceptance.

18. The second girl I ever slept with was what porno likes to call "a squirter" and I've a taste for it now/feel like I'm not doing a good enough job if I can't get the same reaction from all the girls I fuck.

19. I like watching men and women wet themselves. I like the idea of being forced to do the same by someone. I like the idea of the sensation of wet cloth, particularly when it is wet with pee. So far I haven't told anyone this.

20. The idea of having one or more of my limbs broken by someone else as a prelude to sex turns me on.

21. Dirty talk - the kind that involves words like "slut" and "whore" or "dirty little girl" - doesn't just turn me off, it makes me never want to have anything to do with that person again.

22. I am already worried that I am too easy to identify from this list.

23. I have a readily-repeatable list of qualities that I find attractive, a "type", but I am more than happy to go outside of that type. I just don't tell people that very often.

24. The group sex I've had has been variable but on the whole I really want to try more.

25. I don't hold much hope for the future.