1. I'm a 29-year-old queer, European cis-gendered female. I identify as femme, but present much more androgynously in my everyday life.

2. The reason why I identify as a queer femme is that I prefer to dress in high heels, stockings and dresses when I dress up for something and want to feel really sexy. I'm fascinated by femininity and I love playing with it. I never consider myself “at one” with femininity, but see it as a sexual game more than anything. And I look damn good in heels. I am still looking for someone who really loves good underwear and wants to fuck me because I wear it.

3. The reason why I don't dress femininely in my everyday life is that I would never ever want to go through my life having to deal with unwanted male attention all the time. I present as queer, with a typically queer haircut, piercings etc., a lot in order to prevent male attention. To me, being whistled at on the street is degrading and un-welcomed. I am also very invested in the political identification of queer and queer activism, and the visual signs of it.

4. It seems I fall in love with female-identified and/or female-bodied people. However, I'm not attracted to pure femininity. It is always a much more complex gender presentation, or attitude, which gets me hot. My girlfriend has amazing breasts, and kick-ass boots. The combination makes me salivate.

5. I identify as polyamorous. I want to live my life being able to see love as an expanding thing that I can share with many people. I find it hard to practice and it forces me to constantly challenge myself, but I have very consciously chosen not to be monogamous. At the moment, I have one committed relationship with a cis-girl.

6. I sleep with cis-men too. Most often if I go out and feel horny, as they are often quite easy to come by. I have never had a relationship with a cis-man, and am not particularly interested in having one either. In my experience, sooner or later, men always say something really upsetting or offensive and I have mostly rationalized away that from my life, happily.

7. So far, only one cis-man I have slept with has had a big enough cock to make me feel it inside me, and hence enjoy the experience properly.

8. That said, I probably have to blame myself to an extent. I love fisting and can proudly say that I can take my girlfriend's two hands at once, and she doesn't have small feminine hands either. I generally really get off on the idea of having big things in my cunt, and being able to take it.

9. Once, I succeeded in being anally fisted too. I'd never felt like I'd given up control of my body like that before. It was amazing.

10. I used to be quite concerned about mess during sex, so generally avoided sex during periods or too much anal sex. My current girlfriend has freed my mind and I am eternally grateful. Mess is mess and easy to deal with. To be ashamed of bodily functions or fluids is too debilitating to adventurous sex.

11. I'm kinky and love power play in sex. I enjoy having someone as my submissive play-thing, and inflicting pain and pleasure on them at my whim, as much as I enjoy having someone controlling and pushing me to take both pain and pleasure when I am submissive. Learning to be submissive has been really important to me--I generally like control in life. It is about showing vulnerability and strength at the same time, for me.

12. The main reason why I love it is the trust that you are given by, and give to, the person that you are with.

13. One of the most powerful kinds of power play that I engage in is blood play, either with needles or with scalpels. Allowing my partner to cut me is immensely powerful. Sometimes I crave for her to drink of my blood; it feels like she's consuming my insides. Sometimes she cuts herself to let me lick the wound, a wonderful and super beautiful gesture. There is a nurturing and very, very intimate feeling, as well as violence, in breaking your own, or someone else's skin, in this way. I love the paradox between nurture and violence, intimacy and pain. I love the feeling of blood dripping down my body.

14. I am quite exhibitionistic. I work as a model, some of which is erotic photoshoots. They always get me very wet. Many of my fantasies revolve around being exposed, one of the reasons why I prefer to shave my pubes even though I refuse, on political grounds, to ever shave anything else on my body.

15. I am fascinated by sexual spaces, such as sex clubs and BDSM clubs. I enjoy having sex in such spaces, whether people watch or not, and I enjoy watching other people play. Sometimes a place can have a cruisey or otherwise unappealing atmosphere that really puts me off, but most of the times that I have been in such spaces I have had much fun. I prefer to go with a lover, although I have also had random sexual encounters that have been really great.

16. Even though I sometimes have to fight jealousy, I love the idea of seeing my lovers with other people. Luckily, I have been able to share both three, four and a fivesome with lovers and I get really turned on by them interacting sexually with other people. The image memory of the situation remains in my head for a long time. I feel both insecure and totally turned on by the knowledge that my lovers have a strong sexuality and strong desires that doesn't always include me.

17. One of the strongest turn-ons for me is feeling my lovers being really turned on. I also love kissing. Generally, if someone kisses me in a way that tells me that they really want me, I am lost. I often like force.

18. One of my biggest turn-offs is insecurity in taking initiative to sex, or the knowledge that someone is waiting for me to seduce them. I often take initiative myself and definitely don't mind, but situations where someone is displaying neediness for me to initiating sex often puts me off. It is a crime that also I am guilty of at times.

19. I started being sexual late, losing my virginity when I was 19. After that it took a few years before I knew what I liked and wanted out of sex. Since then I have found myself very curious about what I can do and enjoy with my body, and together with other people. I am lucky to have had two long term lovers with whom I have explored kink, poly and public sex, for example, and 27 other people with whom I learned even more.

20. At the moment I am curious about sex work and to what extent I feel comfortable or willing to earn money from my body, whether this is through modelling, porn or sex. Together with my girlfriend, I have begun to explore this, but I am eager to continue and get more experience. I am strongly feminist in my politics, so for me it is also about exploring sexual and body-politics through experience, rather than through theory. So far, I have found fucking a stranger for money totally uncomplicated. I don't know if that is a bad or good thing.

21. I have never felt ashamed of anything about my sexuality, only sometimes over how I have used it. I have learned that I have quite a strong sexual power and I like feeling I can get anyone that I want, which is sometimes a power that upsets people. I often find that once I know I can have them, my interest wanes. I also used to be rather bad at monogamy. These are not traits of which I am proud.

22. Sexuality is very important to me. I often want to explore sexual tension that I have with friends, although often no more than making out. I also find that in romantic relationships that I have had with people who at the time have been asexual, I have really, really missed the sexual aspect. I love meeting people on the physical plane and sharing intimate experiences, whether it's for an hour, for a night, or for longer. When it is not there in romantic relationships, I feel I am unable to form deeper feelings as I miss the naked honesty that is often present in sex. I also really like the energy of being with someone for the first time, even though, quality-wise, sex is often better with time.

23. I want to learn to use my sexuality and ability to give love as an exclusively positive force in my life, and to do that I need to learn to listen to other people and not always blindly follow my id. However, the feeling of being restrained from being sexually free is one of the worst feelings I know. I think one of the most interesting and important challenges of my life is combining the two.

24. From a previous lover, I have quite a complex about taking too long to come. I am very grateful to anyone who takes the time and effort to lick me until I come, or who likes watching me bring myself off. I totally love watching a lover play with themselves.

25. I often feel unable to get out of bed in the morning without wanking first.