1. I've not had sex (with a partner) for more than 5 years now. Not exactly by choice, but I'm surprised I don't really miss it.

2. I'm a 34-year-old woman, and I'm afraid I'm strictly hetero when it comes to sex, even though I often feel strong emotional and sometimes vaguely erotic attraction for women. I just feel absolutely no interest in interacting with female sexual organs (apart from mine, that is). I like looking at tits, though.

3. I've been in a stable monogamous relationship with a man for about 8 years now. During this time, we both have struggled a lot with more than one crisis, personal ones and some as a couple. While the relationship developed greatly, we "lost" the sexuality somewhere on the way. I feel a bit awkward about this, but I think I would be more than happy with the situation (see later) if I just could have some little stories or just serious flirtations aside.

4. But I really don't want to cheat on my partner. I cheated on everyone I was with before him, and I learned it kills the trust and the love if you have to hide such a big part of your emotional life. He is, unfortunately, strictly monogamous, so I stay with myself when it comes to sex. We'll see for how long. In the meantime, I really enjoy discovering my own ideas and dreams and feelings, without having to fulfill anybody's expectations.

5. At the age of 15, I was very worried about the question "Is sex WITH love possible?" and I still haven't fully found the answer (for me). Well, obviously it is possible, but I'm afraid I don't like it too much. Love (like in "staying with somebody for years, fully trusting and knowing each other, but also discussing who will buy toilet paper this week") feels so very much like the close relationship I have with my parents and sister, and wonderful, but it makes fucking this person sometimes boring, sometimes nearly obscene to me.

6. At the age of 18-28, I was very active, having lots of partners, all male, some of them ONS, some longer relations, sometimes two different men in the same day.

7. I am, honestly, quite overweight and not really good-looking, but the period in #6 taught me that I can be easily attractive nevertheless, even to men that are surrounded and desired by girls much more beautiful than me. This strengthened my self-confidence a lot and I really feel not ashamed of my body at all.

8. Generally I tend to terribly mess up love, attraction, sex and friendship, which brought many misunderstandings and unsatisfactory situations for me and lots of pain and delusion for the involved men. When I meet a fascinating person of any sex or age, I tend to confuse my enthusiasm with erotic interest. If the person isn't a probable partner ("wrong" sex or age, or married or gay or...), I get slightly confused by my feelings, but nothing happens and we can perhaps build a wonderful friendship. But if the person is, say, a single straight male, I hurry us to the next bedroom as soon as possible, and make him "prove" his interest in me. Then I'm satisfied and would like to be "just" friends. It doesn't work this way.

9. I just love love love the situation when a flirtation becomes real, when your hands touch for the first time, the long tension before a first kiss, the hesitating, the hands and eyes that discover the other one's always beautiful body, the many doubts of how far can I go, how far will he go? This turns me on more than anything and is totally lost to me as soon as sex becomes something "normal" with someone.

10. All of my longer relations (apart from the one I'm in now) were spawned from the situations described above, and lasted between one and five years, depending on when I found the courage to tell the men that I had never had intentions to have a relationship, had never loved them and just had always wanted to be friends (perhaps, at best, "with benefits"). In the meantime I impersonated a lovely girlfriend, including swearing eternal love and faking orgasms. I felt it to be my duty, because I created the misunderstanding in the beginning. Idiocy.

11. I had my first sex at the age of 18 with a man twice my age. We were not lovers, just friends, but I had a big crush on him and insisted and seduced him somehow. Looking back he was perhaps not a superhero in bed, but I was very excited by the whole thing, and he was so caring and respecting, and I liked it a lot! We met regularly for some months, to have wonderful intellectual discussions spiced up with some sex, and then I unfortunately got a "real" boyfriend of my age. I wanted to continue the affair, but I couldn't get used to the thought of cheating. (I learned later... ) This first story is still the one that worked best for me, seen from the aspect of sex vs. friendship.

12. While I am happily self-confident about my body, I notice that aging is not very kind to me recently. I haven't worked out before now, and I find being a little bigger while getting older makes a lot of movements difficult, back aches, everything less flexible... I am slightly preoccupied about the idea that, assuming I would find a way to have sex again, I will not be able to perform physically like I used to, and be "out of training" for too long. This is probably silly, but if I start working out sooner or later, it will be mainly for this fear.

13. Apart from getting very aroused by making new friendships, I have a strong interest in rough and non-consensual sex scenarios, from the sub side. I'm not into pain or spanking, more into bondage and/or a little rough treatment, humiliation and the feeling to be "wanted so much that he can't restrain himself from taking me" and being helpless. My first drawings and fragments of writing erotic stories of this kind go back to the age of ten.

14. While I find #13 nothing to be ashamed of, I'm still very conflicted about it. I've grown up with strong feminist ideas and I simply CANNOT allow a man to treat me like this. I had one relationship where the sex worked very well this way, but after a short period I hated and disapproved of the guy so much (because he obviously liked it) that I couldn't go on. I haven't found a solution to this yet. How can you like some asshole who enjoys treating people badly? And how can you keep your self-esteem up if you like being treated like dirt? I'm reading a lot about it, but it doesn't work for me yet. I wonder if I could permit the thought if it were with a woman? Just that this doesn't turn me on at all...

15. I do really enjoy anal sex, if it's done well.

16. And I like fellatio, especially for not-too-big guys... But I don't like receiving oral sex too much, it doesn't do much for me.

17. I nearly forgot to mention that I've never had an orgasm in the presence of somebody. This has never troubled me too much, I've had wonderful sex and enjoyed it greatly. The only unpleasant thing is that I always have to explain and justify, and the well-meaning guys will rub all parts of my body for hours just to make me come (even if I explain them that I'm fine and would like to sleep), so sooner or later I give in and fake one, just to make them stop. Which is a bad ending.

18. I've masturbated since I was ten, first with the shower. I learned to come by my hand much later (around 17) after many frustrating but determined tries. Vibrators or other tools don't work too well for me, but in the last months I've proudly learned to use my left hand instead of the right one. This was necessary mainly because I sometimes need the right one on the mouse...

19. I've always been interested in porn and very early found all the hiding places where my parents kept their erotic literature. I totally am a book person, so well-written erotic fiction works by far best for me, but sometimes I fall for pics and videos and get lost in a weird world between arousal and disgust for my own interest in rough sex, which very often leads me to see things I really, really disapprove of. Another problem is that I cannot stand artificial tits/fingernails/moaning, which excludes 90% of commercial porn.

20. My use of porn comes in waves. There are months in which I don't consume it at all, and 4-5 times a year I get sucked into a weekend full of porn and weird erotic dreams, which can continue for days. I'll masturbate on any occasion, daydream about every man I encounter and think about nothing but sex and porn. I start by reading soft stuff, sharpen my preferences, try out increasingly kinky topics and normally it ends when I involuntarily find a convincingly REAL rape-video, am totally turned off for the next two months, want to vomit and hate the world.

21. Recently, I seem to have found an alternative in the world of queer and sex-positive porn. Turns me on a lot, too, but in a totally different way, perhaps less strong, but it leaves me happy afterwards, not with this terrible aftertaste.

22. I find "feminine" behavior and looks in men incredibly attractive and arousing. Long-haired men can be sure of my attention and erotic interest, regardless of their looks or character (the latter is a problem sometimes...).

23. In general, I find the male body very beautiful, even of not classically beautiful men. And I love the moment of intimacy, when I get to see one naked for the first time. I could just look at him for hours.

24. Be it in friendship or love or sex, I've always been attracted by the idea of being a threesome with two men. In new surroundings I tend to befriend a "couple" of two male best friends, so we always go out as a threesome, talk about our problems as a threesome, and I feel accepted by both of them while I love witnessing their friendship as well. Additionally, I daydream of erotic experiments of this type, but I've never managed to create a situation of this kind.

25. The closest I ever got to #24 was lying between two male friends of mine in total darkness in a tent, kissing each of them and noticing that while caressing me, their hands touched and started caressing each other on my body. Once, their lips touched while they were both trying to kiss me, and they briefly kissed. Then we were interrupted (§$%#@!!!). Still, it's one of my hottest memories.