1) I'm a woman (or girl) from a northern country in Europe, 23 years old, and I guess straight. Or asexual sometimes. Or like someone explained it, sometimes I feel bi-romantic, but still straight when it comes to sex. When I'm interested.

2) I've got very little experience, mainly because sexual actions give me lots of regrets and anxiety. Sometimes I explain it like I'm allergic to body contact--whenever someone touches me it feels like I get burned by something. Of course I'm human and my body just craves contact often, but I've got to be warned before someone tries to make that contact. I may have Asperger's, so that can be an explanation. That can also explain why the people I call my best friends are the people I almost never meet up with in person.

3) So, I've kissed one guy, had sex with another and gotten use of hands with a third. None of these were actually bad experiences, but when I think back I get so angry I want to hurt something. Mostly myself. I didn't allow myself time to think about sex especially much until I'd been through basic training with the army, and now I try to still keep it out of my life to avoid those angry moments.

4) The first happened while I was in the army. I was sober, he a bit drunk. And he had a girlfriend at the time. It was more than obvious that he wanted to do more than kiss me, both because he said so and because I could feel it. He was to sleep in my bed, with me, and those beds don't got a lot of space in them. But I said no. A wise way to go, I was 21 and a virgin. And there were 5 other people in the same room. After that night I made sure that no one should sleep in the same bed as me again, ever. Even though it was kind of nice just laying there talking for hours. I see him as one of the more important people in my life right now, and he's going to Afghanistan in a few months' time.

5) The second one was also a army-friend, but a while after we had left the service. It was one of those "you should just go to sleep after two in the morning"-things. He's a nice guy, and I was his rebound after the last girlfriend. It wasn't good. But people say the first time is bad. This was real bad. But yeah, that's life, I guess. We actually became better friends after that. But now we've lost contact.

6) The third I met through the Internet. I did an experiment with Internet-dating, not to get a boyfriend but to see how it worked. This guy is quite nice, and if you can see my trend in the earlier ones, this one works in the navy. I don't know what we've been doing, but I know I've treated him badly and that I'm actually sorry I couldn't do this properly. I hope he finds a girl who suits him some day.

7) I don't think love and sex are connected in my life right now. I don't feel love even though I can say I like some people enormously. But I shouldn't have any problem with being a man-eater and just doing things without the need of feelings. But then we can go back to 2, and see that I'm not into too much body contact.

8) I got one of those calls when I was younger from someone who wanted to use me sexually. It ended with me calling the police and being very angry with jerks who use interests of young girls to get those fantasies out. In this case, he got in contact with me through a site for people working with horses.

9) First sexual experience for myself is hard to say. But I have some memories of the pretty nice feeling of the pressure downstairs when riding a ski-lift... And of course in the early teens I had some fantasies. But always kept them to myself.

10) And I'm not the kind of person who masturbates. It happens sometimes, but I can't really focus. I don't get anything out of it. So no, I've guess I never had an orgasm. I do not own a sex toy.

11) I'm not into visual porn. It feels too unreal. I do like literotica, though, as long as it keeps inside some boundaries. Some of the early contact with sex I've had was from reading it. It has to feel plausible, be described with some grace, and if the person who wrote it doesn't have good language I won't read. Well, I guess I'm picky. And nothing's wrong with M-rated fanfics. Not even M-rated slash fanfics. But make them stay in character, please?!

12) Big NO-NO's: violence, rape, incest, anal, things involving animals, kids or people who aren't able to stand up for themselves. No more to say about that.

13) Two things that actually turn me on are that feeling before something actually happens, and the feeling that I'm pleasing someone else. My fantasies often end with the first kiss, or if they go on, with me pleasing him. A lot. So I guess when I find a guy, I would like to make him a lucky one.

14) And that pleasing someone else thing does apply to my whole life, more or less, but once it made me send naked pictures and do some sexting with a guy. He had a girlfriend but still wanted to get into my pants. I found my senses and said no to him, so now he has blocked me from his life. Even though I sometimes thought about reporting him for sexual harassment. (And yeah, that guy also works in the army.) One thing he said to me sticks: "You in a uniform are able to make me do anything." He actually knows how I look in a uniform. After five days without a shower...

15) One "secret" is my love for older men. I do not want to fuck them. I just look up to them, want to be their friend and to know they trust me. Of course I could flirt a bit. Got that feeling for some of my officers (oh, naughty), and I can't shake it off. But right now it's sparse with older men in my life.

16) Although older men are interesting, sexual contact seems to happen only with younger men. Not much younger, I'm pretty young myself, but 1-3 years younger at least. I can't get what they find interesting with me. And the only thing that interests me about them is that they often have pretty beautiful bodies. Not much brains, though.

17) About not knowing what they find interesting, I'm a real woman sometimes. I try to be more like a guy, but I can't help hating my body. I'm not beautiful and sexy. There's nothing interesting or special. I look like a normal human being, not like a model or actress. As long as I feel that way, I guess it will be hard finding a good guy. But these feelings also make it able for me to be naked around people in non-sexual situations. Like in the public shower at the swimming pool or when I had to shower with the guys in the army. So yeah, lots of people have seen me naked, and yeah, I've seen lots of people naked as well. The guys found it worse than me when it was army-related...

18) As you may have realized, I'm pretty easy to turn off. I can feel turned on when I least expect it sometimes, but I'm always able to turn off in a few milliseconds. Irritating, I can promise you. Just a tiny little detail wrong and yeah, the moment's over.

19) I realized I've haven't addressed the bi-romantic thing. I'm not interested in having sex with other women, I just think they're beautiful and often more interesting than guys. So if I want to be romantic sometime, the thought of having a nice time with a woman isn't that far away. But even my mom said to me that "you're as straight anyone can be, honey."

20) I actually see myself in the future as one of those "pathetic" ladies living alone with her three dogs and an OK placement at work. One who, if she meets a guy, everybody thinks that's unusual and a bit funny. But I hope not. Of course I want at least one dog, but I may be able to share my living space with one guy too. Maybe not a husband, but someone I feel equal to.

21) Sex, sex, sex. Well, sometimes I get tired of this sexual liberation and so on. I like sites like this, I like that it's okay to talk about sex and to have it without marriage and that there are ways to protect yourself and that you're allowed to do strange stuff as long as everyone involved says it's fine with them. But sometimes it becomes a bit too much. Actually there are sensitive people out there, actually some people doesn't want to hear about your escapades when they eat lunch at the next table, and kids should be able to be kids without their parents needing to cover their ears or eyes every fifteenth minute. I know sex sells, and that this is 2012, but take it easy sometimes, will you?

22) I think that in my next life I should be full of confidence, and when I see a guy looking at me with interest, I should try to get him into bed. Just because of the fun of it. And in that life I may have a great sex life. Thinking about it, maybe I should try that out in this life, so I'm able to avoid the situation in 20, and so I can erase all bad feelings.

23) I don't have any lists of people I want to sleep with or things I should've tried before a certain age. But if you didn't get that earlier, guys in uniform are always on top of any non-existing imaginary lists...

24) Actually I didn't think I would have this much to say. But I guess thank you for reading and seeing that normal, smart people can have these bad experiences but still be wanting more. Good experiences, then, though.

25) To end with, something that surprised me in a nice way: a commercial on television with this country's strongest man demolishing a car with his own hands. Mmmmm. A big guy making something into small pieces that way made want to jump him. And I'm against violence in all other aspects...