1. I am an eighteen-year-old female of undefined sexuality.
2. I have struggled with my sexuality for three years, going through stages of lesbianism, bisexuality and asexuality as well as being both panromantic and hetero-romantic. It was extremely frustrating for me having no definitive sexuality. It's only in the last couple of months that I have been happy to remain undefined, but it's still frustrating from time to time. I feel like I can't affirm to my family my sexuality until I have a concrete sexuality to admit to, as when I first came out as gay aged 16 my mother thought I was attention-seeking and my father laughed. Any other conversations with my family about my LGBT activities have lead to laughter and confusion, and so I've given up trying to say anything.
3. I have had three long term partners, and estimate around 40-50 sexual partners. I'm fairly open about the number of encounters I've had, as I don't see anything shameful in being promiscuous.
4. I enjoy sex, and have two fuck buddies, both male. I have fun with both of them despite them differing vastly in skill and size. I choose to have longer-term sexual partners because, whilst depression means that I'm not in the right frame of mind to have a full-blown relationship, I get all the physical affection and attention I need from regularly seeing these people.
5. My first sexual experience was when I was fourteen. I had my first kiss and fuck when I was raped at a party organized by an older friend. The traumatic way I lost my virginity made me devalue myself for many years, and my promiscuity in this period was more due to mental exasperation than my current reasons. I have been date-raped twice since.
6. Penetrative sex is extremely painful for me, but has no medical diagnosis. Alcohol numbs the pain considerably, however it makes sober PIV sex impossible. Luckily I've had numerous sexual partners who don't mind and have been content with other ways of me pleasuring them. I class "sex" as anything leading up to a sexual encounter: oral, anal, fingering. We think that perhaps I am too tight, and so I have a project to loosen myself up a little.
7. I am hugely into BDSM, enjoying both the dominating and the subordinate roles. I have only recently found my dominant side with one of my partners, who has also recently discovered his masochistic side. I hope to try everything with him, because a lot of guys I've met have been unwilling to try such things and prefer to dominate me.
8. I don't enjoy masturbation.
9. I have had sexual fantasies since I was fourteen years old (pre-trauma). A particularly dominant one was of being a slave in a sex dungeon, as well as rape fantasies. I often wonder if I didn't bring my rapes on myself by wishing for these things.
10. I have a diary in which I keep records of all of my sexual encounters, disastrous or otherwise. I often read them back and it's so visceral I can feel it.
11. My ex-girlfriend of three months was a nymphomaniac. It is with her that I experienced most of my lesbian experiences, including a five-girl encounter. She eventually dumped me because I couldn't keep up with her.
12. I love being punished, to the extent that I will defy my partner to the point that s/he has to punish me. In the same way I love it when a submissive partner fights for control.
13. I have been told by seven people that I have given them the best oral sex of their lives. I love making boys cum in my mouth and swallowing. It makes me sad that a lot of guys don't believe that I can love blowjobs that much, and also that a lot of guys I know have never had an active female partner -- instead saying that the girls they've been with have just lain there and taken it. Just the sounds they make as it gets more intense make me smile. My ex says I have something of an oral fixation.
14. Despite my obsession with pain, I can't stand asphyxiation or collars, because I was strangled repeatedly as a child.
15. I find ankles, wrists and collarbones especially sexy. I like tying them up and biting them.
16. I have never orgasmed in my life, and instead get my kicks out of making people come. People always see me as a challenge, which I actually hate. Despite wanting to orgasm, phrases like that make me feel like a prize or a piece of meat. Even when being someone's "slave," I still feel like a person with control, so that outlook rubs me the wrong way.
17. I love cuddles, but not straight after sex. I do, however, like to talk post-coitus. I think talking about the sex you've just had leads to better sex in the future, especially if the other person didn't want to protest during the act - this way I don't make the same mistake twice which is important to me as I always put their enjoyment above my own (since their enjoyment is my enjoyment).
18. My first boyfriend broke my confidence to such a low unlike any other, and both of my other long term relationships I still class as rebounds, despite them being really good for me. It is with my last partner that I got my confidence up to its record high. I am so grateful to him and we are still good friends. As my Master he had a bond of trust with me beyond any I have with my family, and I trust him more than anyone else in the world.
19. I often think I am promiscuous as revenge at my father for being a terrible parent.
20. I really want to get into porn or prostitution, but the pain during sex stops me from doing so. I hope that one day that the pain subsides so I can get into this work before I get too old.
21. I have a brilliant fuck buddy who lets me try out all my dirtiest thoughts. Our next encounter we plan to try pegging, and his willingness for me to overpower him despite his superior strength is extremely sexy to me. I think I find boys and girls defying their social gender roles incredibly attractive just as I don't see myself conforming to my own social constructs as a woman.
22. I have size 34F breasts but rarely show them in public. I wear T shirts and jumpers so I don't get hit on just for my boobs. Anyone who does see them gets a (quote) "pleasant surprise." Despite this, plus wearing minimal make up, I get just as much attention on a night out or just around as anyone I know who goes out dolled up.
23. I love having sex in weird places. I once met a guy on a four-hour train journey and had sex in the toilets near us.
24. As for the example in (23), I gave him a fake number afterwards. I have an obsession with "perfect encounters": If I have a night with great conversation, great sex, and great personality, I don't want to see that person again for fear of ruining the perfect night I just had. Friends say this is an unhealthy way to live, but, especially with my depressive need to be single, it is probably the best for me at my age.
25. I love to be worshiped completely and utterly.
2. I have struggled with my sexuality for three years, going through stages of lesbianism, bisexuality and asexuality as well as being both panromantic and hetero-romantic. It was extremely frustrating for me having no definitive sexuality. It's only in the last couple of months that I have been happy to remain undefined, but it's still frustrating from time to time. I feel like I can't affirm to my family my sexuality until I have a concrete sexuality to admit to, as when I first came out as gay aged 16 my mother thought I was attention-seeking and my father laughed. Any other conversations with my family about my LGBT activities have lead to laughter and confusion, and so I've given up trying to say anything.
3. I have had three long term partners, and estimate around 40-50 sexual partners. I'm fairly open about the number of encounters I've had, as I don't see anything shameful in being promiscuous.
4. I enjoy sex, and have two fuck buddies, both male. I have fun with both of them despite them differing vastly in skill and size. I choose to have longer-term sexual partners because, whilst depression means that I'm not in the right frame of mind to have a full-blown relationship, I get all the physical affection and attention I need from regularly seeing these people.
5. My first sexual experience was when I was fourteen. I had my first kiss and fuck when I was raped at a party organized by an older friend. The traumatic way I lost my virginity made me devalue myself for many years, and my promiscuity in this period was more due to mental exasperation than my current reasons. I have been date-raped twice since.
6. Penetrative sex is extremely painful for me, but has no medical diagnosis. Alcohol numbs the pain considerably, however it makes sober PIV sex impossible. Luckily I've had numerous sexual partners who don't mind and have been content with other ways of me pleasuring them. I class "sex" as anything leading up to a sexual encounter: oral, anal, fingering. We think that perhaps I am too tight, and so I have a project to loosen myself up a little.
7. I am hugely into BDSM, enjoying both the dominating and the subordinate roles. I have only recently found my dominant side with one of my partners, who has also recently discovered his masochistic side. I hope to try everything with him, because a lot of guys I've met have been unwilling to try such things and prefer to dominate me.
8. I don't enjoy masturbation.
9. I have had sexual fantasies since I was fourteen years old (pre-trauma). A particularly dominant one was of being a slave in a sex dungeon, as well as rape fantasies. I often wonder if I didn't bring my rapes on myself by wishing for these things.
10. I have a diary in which I keep records of all of my sexual encounters, disastrous or otherwise. I often read them back and it's so visceral I can feel it.
11. My ex-girlfriend of three months was a nymphomaniac. It is with her that I experienced most of my lesbian experiences, including a five-girl encounter. She eventually dumped me because I couldn't keep up with her.
12. I love being punished, to the extent that I will defy my partner to the point that s/he has to punish me. In the same way I love it when a submissive partner fights for control.
13. I have been told by seven people that I have given them the best oral sex of their lives. I love making boys cum in my mouth and swallowing. It makes me sad that a lot of guys don't believe that I can love blowjobs that much, and also that a lot of guys I know have never had an active female partner -- instead saying that the girls they've been with have just lain there and taken it. Just the sounds they make as it gets more intense make me smile. My ex says I have something of an oral fixation.
14. Despite my obsession with pain, I can't stand asphyxiation or collars, because I was strangled repeatedly as a child.
15. I find ankles, wrists and collarbones especially sexy. I like tying them up and biting them.
16. I have never orgasmed in my life, and instead get my kicks out of making people come. People always see me as a challenge, which I actually hate. Despite wanting to orgasm, phrases like that make me feel like a prize or a piece of meat. Even when being someone's "slave," I still feel like a person with control, so that outlook rubs me the wrong way.
17. I love cuddles, but not straight after sex. I do, however, like to talk post-coitus. I think talking about the sex you've just had leads to better sex in the future, especially if the other person didn't want to protest during the act - this way I don't make the same mistake twice which is important to me as I always put their enjoyment above my own (since their enjoyment is my enjoyment).
18. My first boyfriend broke my confidence to such a low unlike any other, and both of my other long term relationships I still class as rebounds, despite them being really good for me. It is with my last partner that I got my confidence up to its record high. I am so grateful to him and we are still good friends. As my Master he had a bond of trust with me beyond any I have with my family, and I trust him more than anyone else in the world.
19. I often think I am promiscuous as revenge at my father for being a terrible parent.
20. I really want to get into porn or prostitution, but the pain during sex stops me from doing so. I hope that one day that the pain subsides so I can get into this work before I get too old.
21. I have a brilliant fuck buddy who lets me try out all my dirtiest thoughts. Our next encounter we plan to try pegging, and his willingness for me to overpower him despite his superior strength is extremely sexy to me. I think I find boys and girls defying their social gender roles incredibly attractive just as I don't see myself conforming to my own social constructs as a woman.
22. I have size 34F breasts but rarely show them in public. I wear T shirts and jumpers so I don't get hit on just for my boobs. Anyone who does see them gets a (quote) "pleasant surprise." Despite this, plus wearing minimal make up, I get just as much attention on a night out or just around as anyone I know who goes out dolled up.
23. I love having sex in weird places. I once met a guy on a four-hour train journey and had sex in the toilets near us.
24. As for the example in (23), I gave him a fake number afterwards. I have an obsession with "perfect encounters": If I have a night with great conversation, great sex, and great personality, I don't want to see that person again for fear of ruining the perfect night I just had. Friends say this is an unhealthy way to live, but, especially with my depressive need to be single, it is probably the best for me at my age.
25. I love to be worshiped completely and utterly.
