1) I am 22, female-bodied and of ever-changing sexual orientation.
2) I go for effeminate men: long hair, slim, beautiful in their own way. Although sometimes I can’t keep my mind off the men with the big muscles and deep voices, but they scare me.
3) As for women, I usually go for the girls that I admire: either curvy, wide hips, beautiful face, big eyes, full breasts. Or the adorable little androgynous, slim girls with the pixie haircuts and shy faces.
4) I, myself, am fairly tall, curvy and, I like to think, quite pretty. Well, apparently I’m “striking”. I have fantastically large, sensitive breasts and slutty eyes.
5) My sex-drive has two gears: off and ON! I’m usually more turned to ON! than off.
6) Despite an openness towards sex (I love talking about sex, my postgrad degree focuses on the history of pornography and prostitution) and a love of trying out new things, I do feel a fair amount of shyness about the act itself. Luckily I have a very understanding partner.
7) Part of this shyness stems from feelings of inadequacy because I’m unable to come other than from clitoral stimulation (although that does result in completely explosive orgasms – lucky me!) and only once each session. And even then it takes a while, which I feel limits possibilities. To treat myself and my partner occasionally I make the decision to not come at all and just enjoy sex in as many silly positions as possible. I find this sort of sex a lot more liberating, a lot less stressful and a lot more fun, although it ultimately ends in huge amounts of frustration…
8) I lost my virginity to a boy I both loved and hated, it hurt, it lasted about 10 seconds before I asked him to stop and we never had sex again. It wasn’t until my next relationship that I properly got to experience the joys of PIV sex.
9) Before I lost my virginity I had experimented with everything but full intercourse with a number of boys and girls. I think it gave me a sense of self-worth, considering I was so shy and didn’t have many friends.
10) I read a book for teenagers that described a girl’s first time and I wanted to know what it felt like. I broke my hymen with a biro pen.
11) I had a couple of female friends who I would visit (separately) and we would take our clothes off and pretend to have sex like grown-ups. I remember really enjoying it but I wasn’t sure why. I always felt guilty and embarrassed about this until I started reading 25 Things and realized many people have similar experiences.
12) My relationship with sex has always been difficult. For a long time it was partly about feeling a sense of self-worth and partly because I was super horny. It has only been since my current partner and I started dating (around about eighteen months ago) that I’ve started to feel like I have sex because I WANT sex, without the element of self-esteem boosting. My current partner is the only person I haven’t cheated on. I think that speaks volumes.
13) I masturbate regularly, always have. I used to rely on my imagination alone but since I discovered porn I’ve got lazy. I love porn. And erotica.
14) My imagination always used to revolve around having sex in public places, having sex with multiple partners or imagining my partner fucking another girl.
15) The porn I enjoy is almost always lesbian/solo female or male Dom female sub. I hate seeing penises in porn. I also hate porn where the girl doesn’t come, or at least be seen to enjoy it a LOT. I don’t mind disembodied male hands in porn, though. Occasionally I enjoy watching girls being fisted or fucked by huge toys. And I always enjoy squirt porn.
16) I love being fisted. I just love being stretched. According to my current boyfriend I have an incredibly tight vagina. According to a previous boyfriend I have a “surprisingly tight” vagina. I think the latter is a bit offensive. I can also squirt. An ex-partner really enjoyed watching girls squirt so we decided to see if I could. I can. And I love it.
17) I love anal, although I see it more as a special-occasion kind of activity. The first time I tried it it was horrible and I avoided it for years, but my current partner and I decided to try again and now I think it’s fantastic. I love playing with his arse too. We both want to try pegging at some point but I think we’re both a bit nervous.
18) I love giving blowjobs more than any other sexual activity. I get insanely wet. I like long, drawn out blowjobs with ball-play and rimming. I also like having my head grabbed and fucked, as long as I trust the guy.
19) My partner can have multiple orgasms. We worked on it together and now he does almost every time we fuck. I really love it, although I am quite jealous. We’re working on my multiple orgasms now. There’s something there, I think, but it’s yet to become anything that I would classify as such.
20) I love thinking about my partner having sex with other women. I have for as long as I can remember. Nothing gets me going more than being fingered while he whispers in my ear about previous encounters and possible future encounters.
21) I have had multiple threesomes, mainly MMF, although my favorite was an MFF in Croatia, with two people I’d never met before while my then-boyfriend was at home in the UK. I feel guilty about this, but it doesn’t detract from the fact that that threesome was awesome fun. She got so wet and so turned on, it was incredible. I’ve never had a threesome with a boyfriend. Despite the fact I love fantasizing about them having sex with other girls, I’m not sure how I’d feel once it came down to it. I think it would have to be a very specific situation.
22) I’d like to take part in swinging/group sex, although I don’t think my current partner is too up for the idea. I’d also like to have sex with an audience, and I think he’s slightly more up for that.
23) In everyday life I’m quite dominant. Interestingly, sexually, I’m very submissive. I like being restrained, talked down to, spanked, bitten and treated roughly. Having said that, I’m not particularly into BDSM (other than in porn); from what I’ve experienced, it’s just not for me. That being said, I think I’d love it in a proper dungeon, with someone who knows what they’re doing. I also quite like the idea of slave-training. Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough.
24) I struggle trusting men, I was abused sexually as a child and have had a few unfortunate encounters in later life – people not stopping when I’ve asked, taking me by force, etc. I try not to blame myself for the latter, but it’s hard when I feel like I’ve put myself in those situations that give people the opportunity. That being said, if another woman goes through a similar situation I’m on her side all the way, so maybe I’m just too tough on myself. I’m trying to move on from these and trust people, but it’s hard.
25) I have found 25 Things the most empowering website, it has opened my eyes to so many things and made me realize that a lot of the experiences I’ve had have been shared by other people too. It has helped me to come to terms with my own confused sexuality and accept myself, rather than second-guess everything.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
1. I’m a 27-year-old, mostly heterosexual woman from Germany.
2. I say “mostly heterosexual” because I had sex with a woman once, and even though I felt a bit overwhelmed by her beautiful body and her self-confidence, I wouldn’t mind having further sexual experiences with women. I like the taste of the female body, the smooth skin, and I feel attracted to a lot of women in my environment.
3. So far, I have slept with nine men and made out with some more.
4. I lost my virginity when I was 20, with my first boyfriend. I was deeply in love with him and our relationship lasted almost two years. When he broke up with me, I was truly devastated and it took me years to recover.
5. One of my friends summarized it correctly: “When he left you, he took your smile with you.” He was my first true love, and before we met, I had been convinced I’d never find a guy who loves me just the way I am. I have serious issues with body and my weight. My friends say I am a womanly, chubby yet attractive girl. Most of the time, I disagree. I consider myself overweight, even fat if compared to other women. I’ve been seeing a therapist for two and a half year (eating disorder, depression), and even though that was enormously supportive and helped me to sort a lot of things out, being naked still makes me feel very uncomfortable.
6. Due to that, it’s hard for me to orgasm. I’m always worried that a man might be disgusted by my body and I am very conscious about the way I look in certain positions or situations. It’s very hard to enjoy sex if you continuously suck in your tummy…
7. Despite my negative perception of myself, I really like sex. I'm very open concerning new experiences. I had a spontaneous threesome some years ago. I had a date with E. in a pub and T., his friend, was with him. We drank a lot and went home to T’s. During the whole evening, I somehow guessed what the two of them hoped for, yet I was totally surprised to realize that two men at a time wanted sex with me. It was a nice experience and I really appreciate that something like that has happened to me.
8. Two years ago, I had an affair with somebody who was quite experienced in BDSM. He gave me the opportunity to live out some fantasies, and I know now that I’m masochistic and submissive. I like to be handled roughly: to be tied up, to be spanked, to be pushed against a wall, a little force here and there. I also enjoy breath-play, wax and pain in general, but only in certain ways. I like to be pushed to my limits and beyond - dominance can be very sexy.
9. But any kind of BDSM play requires an enormous amount of confidence in your partner. I guess that for me, because of my body issues, trust is one of the most important things to sex and playing. I can easily fall from heights, and what felt sexy and pleasant just a moment ago suddenly turns into real humiliation.
10. Unfortunately, that guy mentioned in #7 abused my confidence. He knew that I had a crush on him and took full advantage of my feelings. This “relationship” can be summed up by saying “the stick and the carrot.” By suggesting this affair might turn into a proper, long-lasting relationship, he talked me into a lot of things. And I obeyed, hoping that finally he might realize what a great, loving and caring partner I would be.
11. For example, we had a mutual account at an internet community that offered sexual acquaintances. You could watch movies and pics, evaluate other users’ profiles, chat, etc. He always wanted to have a foursome, even though he knew that his proposal made me feel highly nervous. I feared he might be more attracted to the other woman or that the other guy wouldn’t be attracted by me. He kept on insisting and I agreed. We arranged to meet a married couple at their home. It was awful. The other guy wasn’t the type of guy I’m usually attracted to, he sucked at kissing and he had bad breath. Even worse, after we had left and I asked my partner how he had liked that experience, he yelled at me. “You suck at multitasking.” I was shocked and started to cry, feeling highly abused and abased. Finally, after many encounters like that, I managed to end the destructive affair.
12. Apart from BDSM play, I also enjoy oral sex. I love, love, love to give a man a blowjob. I love that feeling of being in control, to see and hear which reactions I’m able to arouse. And I love cum. I don't mind swallowing or facials. It’s damned sexy, and I know that men simply love to watch a woman play with their cum. It easily makes me wet.
13. Even though I like men going down on me, I can hardly enjoy it because I’m constantly worried about the way I look and taste.
14. I love, love, love kissing.
15. I’m convinced that a bad kisser is also a bad lover.
16. I think about sex frequently, almost daily. Sometimes I don’t masturbate for weeks, sometimes I do it three or four times a day. It just depends on my mood.
17. I regularly watch porn, almost any kind of it: gay, lesbian, BDSM, straight, double penetration... Thanks to this site, I’ve discovered my passion for hentai. That stuff is just fantastic, though sometimes quite funny as well.
18. I’d like to try anal sex. The last guy I was with was just crazy about butts and anal sex. I wanted to try it with him, but all of our attempts didn’t work out properly and I am no longer date him.
19. I “dismissed” #18 out of the same reason I dismissed all the other guys during the last years: While I’m trying to find a boyfriend with whom I can have a real relationship, they are just interested in having an affair. Sex, cuddling: yes. love or commitment: no. That simply doesn’t work with me. I’m quite a romantic girl and I really long for somebody to love from the bottom of my heart. So far, I’ve only had one (and a half) serious relationships. Half, because J., a guy I met last summer, turned out to be fake: name, age, job – everything he had told me about himself was just made up. Even though I’m convinced it was best to never see him again, I still miss him from time to time.
20. J. was just the type of man I feel attracted to: tall but not too tall, handsome, dark hair, dark eyes, a lovely smile, slender, athletic arms and a very good kisser. It’s very hard for me to confess that I like handsome, slender men, but consider myself not that attractive.
21. I realized that it is easier for me to enjoy sex and let me go when I am in love with somebody. I’ve been single now for almost six years and I really hate it. But I know I still have to work on myself. How can I expect somebody else to love me if I myself do not love me, let alone like me?
22. Yet, it might be very complicated to find a partner even if I have succeeded in accepting myself. Guy #7 had condyloma and I got infected, too. Thank God it’s a kind of STD that doesn’t seriously harm you or kill you. But still, it is incurable and highly infective. Even if I use a condom, I might carry the virus over. I’ve tried several remedies so far, but one of them worked (expect for serious side-effects). Yes, I can live with that, but it seriously influences your quality of life.
23. I know I should not have sex with any man as long as I have condyloma. But I slept with J. nevertheless. Fortunately, he had condyloma himself, although he hadn’t known that till I told him. And I also slept with #18. I told him about the disease right from the beginning of our affair. But he didn’t care that much and insisted on having sex with me. Well, I finally gave in.
24. I don’t know whether I should have a bad conscience for sleeping with other men despite the STD. I spoke about my situation very blatantly and didn’t force them to do it. It was their decision, not mine. But I worry to think I might have infected them and I worry about other women that might get infected by them. Will they mention the possible danger that is linked to having sex with them? I don’t know. I hope they will. On the other hand, the thought of never having sex with somebody else drives me mad. How should I ever enter into a serious relationship if sex is a no-go?! It wasn’t easy for me to approach men before and now it’s even worse
25. I’m glad I wrote down these 25 things. I’ve been reading this blog for some months now and always thought about submitting something myself.
2. I say “mostly heterosexual” because I had sex with a woman once, and even though I felt a bit overwhelmed by her beautiful body and her self-confidence, I wouldn’t mind having further sexual experiences with women. I like the taste of the female body, the smooth skin, and I feel attracted to a lot of women in my environment.
3. So far, I have slept with nine men and made out with some more.
4. I lost my virginity when I was 20, with my first boyfriend. I was deeply in love with him and our relationship lasted almost two years. When he broke up with me, I was truly devastated and it took me years to recover.
5. One of my friends summarized it correctly: “When he left you, he took your smile with you.” He was my first true love, and before we met, I had been convinced I’d never find a guy who loves me just the way I am. I have serious issues with body and my weight. My friends say I am a womanly, chubby yet attractive girl. Most of the time, I disagree. I consider myself overweight, even fat if compared to other women. I’ve been seeing a therapist for two and a half year (eating disorder, depression), and even though that was enormously supportive and helped me to sort a lot of things out, being naked still makes me feel very uncomfortable.
6. Due to that, it’s hard for me to orgasm. I’m always worried that a man might be disgusted by my body and I am very conscious about the way I look in certain positions or situations. It’s very hard to enjoy sex if you continuously suck in your tummy…
7. Despite my negative perception of myself, I really like sex. I'm very open concerning new experiences. I had a spontaneous threesome some years ago. I had a date with E. in a pub and T., his friend, was with him. We drank a lot and went home to T’s. During the whole evening, I somehow guessed what the two of them hoped for, yet I was totally surprised to realize that two men at a time wanted sex with me. It was a nice experience and I really appreciate that something like that has happened to me.
8. Two years ago, I had an affair with somebody who was quite experienced in BDSM. He gave me the opportunity to live out some fantasies, and I know now that I’m masochistic and submissive. I like to be handled roughly: to be tied up, to be spanked, to be pushed against a wall, a little force here and there. I also enjoy breath-play, wax and pain in general, but only in certain ways. I like to be pushed to my limits and beyond - dominance can be very sexy.
9. But any kind of BDSM play requires an enormous amount of confidence in your partner. I guess that for me, because of my body issues, trust is one of the most important things to sex and playing. I can easily fall from heights, and what felt sexy and pleasant just a moment ago suddenly turns into real humiliation.
10. Unfortunately, that guy mentioned in #7 abused my confidence. He knew that I had a crush on him and took full advantage of my feelings. This “relationship” can be summed up by saying “the stick and the carrot.” By suggesting this affair might turn into a proper, long-lasting relationship, he talked me into a lot of things. And I obeyed, hoping that finally he might realize what a great, loving and caring partner I would be.
11. For example, we had a mutual account at an internet community that offered sexual acquaintances. You could watch movies and pics, evaluate other users’ profiles, chat, etc. He always wanted to have a foursome, even though he knew that his proposal made me feel highly nervous. I feared he might be more attracted to the other woman or that the other guy wouldn’t be attracted by me. He kept on insisting and I agreed. We arranged to meet a married couple at their home. It was awful. The other guy wasn’t the type of guy I’m usually attracted to, he sucked at kissing and he had bad breath. Even worse, after we had left and I asked my partner how he had liked that experience, he yelled at me. “You suck at multitasking.” I was shocked and started to cry, feeling highly abused and abased. Finally, after many encounters like that, I managed to end the destructive affair.
12. Apart from BDSM play, I also enjoy oral sex. I love, love, love to give a man a blowjob. I love that feeling of being in control, to see and hear which reactions I’m able to arouse. And I love cum. I don't mind swallowing or facials. It’s damned sexy, and I know that men simply love to watch a woman play with their cum. It easily makes me wet.
13. Even though I like men going down on me, I can hardly enjoy it because I’m constantly worried about the way I look and taste.
14. I love, love, love kissing.
15. I’m convinced that a bad kisser is also a bad lover.
16. I think about sex frequently, almost daily. Sometimes I don’t masturbate for weeks, sometimes I do it three or four times a day. It just depends on my mood.
17. I regularly watch porn, almost any kind of it: gay, lesbian, BDSM, straight, double penetration... Thanks to this site, I’ve discovered my passion for hentai. That stuff is just fantastic, though sometimes quite funny as well.
18. I’d like to try anal sex. The last guy I was with was just crazy about butts and anal sex. I wanted to try it with him, but all of our attempts didn’t work out properly and I am no longer date him.
19. I “dismissed” #18 out of the same reason I dismissed all the other guys during the last years: While I’m trying to find a boyfriend with whom I can have a real relationship, they are just interested in having an affair. Sex, cuddling: yes. love or commitment: no. That simply doesn’t work with me. I’m quite a romantic girl and I really long for somebody to love from the bottom of my heart. So far, I’ve only had one (and a half) serious relationships. Half, because J., a guy I met last summer, turned out to be fake: name, age, job – everything he had told me about himself was just made up. Even though I’m convinced it was best to never see him again, I still miss him from time to time.
20. J. was just the type of man I feel attracted to: tall but not too tall, handsome, dark hair, dark eyes, a lovely smile, slender, athletic arms and a very good kisser. It’s very hard for me to confess that I like handsome, slender men, but consider myself not that attractive.
21. I realized that it is easier for me to enjoy sex and let me go when I am in love with somebody. I’ve been single now for almost six years and I really hate it. But I know I still have to work on myself. How can I expect somebody else to love me if I myself do not love me, let alone like me?
22. Yet, it might be very complicated to find a partner even if I have succeeded in accepting myself. Guy #7 had condyloma and I got infected, too. Thank God it’s a kind of STD that doesn’t seriously harm you or kill you. But still, it is incurable and highly infective. Even if I use a condom, I might carry the virus over. I’ve tried several remedies so far, but one of them worked (expect for serious side-effects). Yes, I can live with that, but it seriously influences your quality of life.
23. I know I should not have sex with any man as long as I have condyloma. But I slept with J. nevertheless. Fortunately, he had condyloma himself, although he hadn’t known that till I told him. And I also slept with #18. I told him about the disease right from the beginning of our affair. But he didn’t care that much and insisted on having sex with me. Well, I finally gave in.
24. I don’t know whether I should have a bad conscience for sleeping with other men despite the STD. I spoke about my situation very blatantly and didn’t force them to do it. It was their decision, not mine. But I worry to think I might have infected them and I worry about other women that might get infected by them. Will they mention the possible danger that is linked to having sex with them? I don’t know. I hope they will. On the other hand, the thought of never having sex with somebody else drives me mad. How should I ever enter into a serious relationship if sex is a no-go?! It wasn’t easy for me to approach men before and now it’s even worse
25. I’m glad I wrote down these 25 things. I’ve been reading this blog for some months now and always thought about submitting something myself.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
1) I'm a woman (or girl) from a northern country in Europe, 23 years old, and I guess straight. Or asexual sometimes. Or like someone explained it, sometimes I feel bi-romantic, but still straight when it comes to sex. When I'm interested.
2) I've got very little experience, mainly because sexual actions give me lots of regrets and anxiety. Sometimes I explain it like I'm allergic to body contact--whenever someone touches me it feels like I get burned by something. Of course I'm human and my body just craves contact often, but I've got to be warned before someone tries to make that contact. I may have Asperger's, so that can be an explanation. That can also explain why the people I call my best friends are the people I almost never meet up with in person.
3) So, I've kissed one guy, had sex with another and gotten use of hands with a third. None of these were actually bad experiences, but when I think back I get so angry I want to hurt something. Mostly myself. I didn't allow myself time to think about sex especially much until I'd been through basic training with the army, and now I try to still keep it out of my life to avoid those angry moments.
4) The first happened while I was in the army. I was sober, he a bit drunk. And he had a girlfriend at the time. It was more than obvious that he wanted to do more than kiss me, both because he said so and because I could feel it. He was to sleep in my bed, with me, and those beds don't got a lot of space in them. But I said no. A wise way to go, I was 21 and a virgin. And there were 5 other people in the same room. After that night I made sure that no one should sleep in the same bed as me again, ever. Even though it was kind of nice just laying there talking for hours. I see him as one of the more important people in my life right now, and he's going to Afghanistan in a few months' time.
5) The second one was also a army-friend, but a while after we had left the service. It was one of those "you should just go to sleep after two in the morning"-things. He's a nice guy, and I was his rebound after the last girlfriend. It wasn't good. But people say the first time is bad. This was real bad. But yeah, that's life, I guess. We actually became better friends after that. But now we've lost contact.
6) The third I met through the Internet. I did an experiment with Internet-dating, not to get a boyfriend but to see how it worked. This guy is quite nice, and if you can see my trend in the earlier ones, this one works in the navy. I don't know what we've been doing, but I know I've treated him badly and that I'm actually sorry I couldn't do this properly. I hope he finds a girl who suits him some day.
7) I don't think love and sex are connected in my life right now. I don't feel love even though I can say I like some people enormously. But I shouldn't have any problem with being a man-eater and just doing things without the need of feelings. But then we can go back to 2, and see that I'm not into too much body contact.
8) I got one of those calls when I was younger from someone who wanted to use me sexually. It ended with me calling the police and being very angry with jerks who use interests of young girls to get those fantasies out. In this case, he got in contact with me through a site for people working with horses.
9) First sexual experience for myself is hard to say. But I have some memories of the pretty nice feeling of the pressure downstairs when riding a ski-lift... And of course in the early teens I had some fantasies. But always kept them to myself.
10) And I'm not the kind of person who masturbates. It happens sometimes, but I can't really focus. I don't get anything out of it. So no, I've guess I never had an orgasm. I do not own a sex toy.
11) I'm not into visual porn. It feels too unreal. I do like literotica, though, as long as it keeps inside some boundaries. Some of the early contact with sex I've had was from reading it. It has to feel plausible, be described with some grace, and if the person who wrote it doesn't have good language I won't read. Well, I guess I'm picky. And nothing's wrong with M-rated fanfics. Not even M-rated slash fanfics. But make them stay in character, please?!
12) Big NO-NO's: violence, rape, incest, anal, things involving animals, kids or people who aren't able to stand up for themselves. No more to say about that.
13) Two things that actually turn me on are that feeling before something actually happens, and the feeling that I'm pleasing someone else. My fantasies often end with the first kiss, or if they go on, with me pleasing him. A lot. So I guess when I find a guy, I would like to make him a lucky one.
14) And that pleasing someone else thing does apply to my whole life, more or less, but once it made me send naked pictures and do some sexting with a guy. He had a girlfriend but still wanted to get into my pants. I found my senses and said no to him, so now he has blocked me from his life. Even though I sometimes thought about reporting him for sexual harassment. (And yeah, that guy also works in the army.) One thing he said to me sticks: "You in a uniform are able to make me do anything." He actually knows how I look in a uniform. After five days without a shower...
15) One "secret" is my love for older men. I do not want to fuck them. I just look up to them, want to be their friend and to know they trust me. Of course I could flirt a bit. Got that feeling for some of my officers (oh, naughty), and I can't shake it off. But right now it's sparse with older men in my life.
16) Although older men are interesting, sexual contact seems to happen only with younger men. Not much younger, I'm pretty young myself, but 1-3 years younger at least. I can't get what they find interesting with me. And the only thing that interests me about them is that they often have pretty beautiful bodies. Not much brains, though.
17) About not knowing what they find interesting, I'm a real woman sometimes. I try to be more like a guy, but I can't help hating my body. I'm not beautiful and sexy. There's nothing interesting or special. I look like a normal human being, not like a model or actress. As long as I feel that way, I guess it will be hard finding a good guy. But these feelings also make it able for me to be naked around people in non-sexual situations. Like in the public shower at the swimming pool or when I had to shower with the guys in the army. So yeah, lots of people have seen me naked, and yeah, I've seen lots of people naked as well. The guys found it worse than me when it was army-related...
18) As you may have realized, I'm pretty easy to turn off. I can feel turned on when I least expect it sometimes, but I'm always able to turn off in a few milliseconds. Irritating, I can promise you. Just a tiny little detail wrong and yeah, the moment's over.
19) I realized I've haven't addressed the bi-romantic thing. I'm not interested in having sex with other women, I just think they're beautiful and often more interesting than guys. So if I want to be romantic sometime, the thought of having a nice time with a woman isn't that far away. But even my mom said to me that "you're as straight anyone can be, honey."
20) I actually see myself in the future as one of those "pathetic" ladies living alone with her three dogs and an OK placement at work. One who, if she meets a guy, everybody thinks that's unusual and a bit funny. But I hope not. Of course I want at least one dog, but I may be able to share my living space with one guy too. Maybe not a husband, but someone I feel equal to.
21) Sex, sex, sex. Well, sometimes I get tired of this sexual liberation and so on. I like sites like this, I like that it's okay to talk about sex and to have it without marriage and that there are ways to protect yourself and that you're allowed to do strange stuff as long as everyone involved says it's fine with them. But sometimes it becomes a bit too much. Actually there are sensitive people out there, actually some people doesn't want to hear about your escapades when they eat lunch at the next table, and kids should be able to be kids without their parents needing to cover their ears or eyes every fifteenth minute. I know sex sells, and that this is 2012, but take it easy sometimes, will you?
22) I think that in my next life I should be full of confidence, and when I see a guy looking at me with interest, I should try to get him into bed. Just because of the fun of it. And in that life I may have a great sex life. Thinking about it, maybe I should try that out in this life, so I'm able to avoid the situation in 20, and so I can erase all bad feelings.
23) I don't have any lists of people I want to sleep with or things I should've tried before a certain age. But if you didn't get that earlier, guys in uniform are always on top of any non-existing imaginary lists...
24) Actually I didn't think I would have this much to say. But I guess thank you for reading and seeing that normal, smart people can have these bad experiences but still be wanting more. Good experiences, then, though.
25) To end with, something that surprised me in a nice way: a commercial on television with this country's strongest man demolishing a car with his own hands. Mmmmm. A big guy making something into small pieces that way made want to jump him. And I'm against violence in all other aspects...
2) I've got very little experience, mainly because sexual actions give me lots of regrets and anxiety. Sometimes I explain it like I'm allergic to body contact--whenever someone touches me it feels like I get burned by something. Of course I'm human and my body just craves contact often, but I've got to be warned before someone tries to make that contact. I may have Asperger's, so that can be an explanation. That can also explain why the people I call my best friends are the people I almost never meet up with in person.
3) So, I've kissed one guy, had sex with another and gotten use of hands with a third. None of these were actually bad experiences, but when I think back I get so angry I want to hurt something. Mostly myself. I didn't allow myself time to think about sex especially much until I'd been through basic training with the army, and now I try to still keep it out of my life to avoid those angry moments.
4) The first happened while I was in the army. I was sober, he a bit drunk. And he had a girlfriend at the time. It was more than obvious that he wanted to do more than kiss me, both because he said so and because I could feel it. He was to sleep in my bed, with me, and those beds don't got a lot of space in them. But I said no. A wise way to go, I was 21 and a virgin. And there were 5 other people in the same room. After that night I made sure that no one should sleep in the same bed as me again, ever. Even though it was kind of nice just laying there talking for hours. I see him as one of the more important people in my life right now, and he's going to Afghanistan in a few months' time.
5) The second one was also a army-friend, but a while after we had left the service. It was one of those "you should just go to sleep after two in the morning"-things. He's a nice guy, and I was his rebound after the last girlfriend. It wasn't good. But people say the first time is bad. This was real bad. But yeah, that's life, I guess. We actually became better friends after that. But now we've lost contact.
6) The third I met through the Internet. I did an experiment with Internet-dating, not to get a boyfriend but to see how it worked. This guy is quite nice, and if you can see my trend in the earlier ones, this one works in the navy. I don't know what we've been doing, but I know I've treated him badly and that I'm actually sorry I couldn't do this properly. I hope he finds a girl who suits him some day.
7) I don't think love and sex are connected in my life right now. I don't feel love even though I can say I like some people enormously. But I shouldn't have any problem with being a man-eater and just doing things without the need of feelings. But then we can go back to 2, and see that I'm not into too much body contact.
8) I got one of those calls when I was younger from someone who wanted to use me sexually. It ended with me calling the police and being very angry with jerks who use interests of young girls to get those fantasies out. In this case, he got in contact with me through a site for people working with horses.
9) First sexual experience for myself is hard to say. But I have some memories of the pretty nice feeling of the pressure downstairs when riding a ski-lift... And of course in the early teens I had some fantasies. But always kept them to myself.
10) And I'm not the kind of person who masturbates. It happens sometimes, but I can't really focus. I don't get anything out of it. So no, I've guess I never had an orgasm. I do not own a sex toy.
11) I'm not into visual porn. It feels too unreal. I do like literotica, though, as long as it keeps inside some boundaries. Some of the early contact with sex I've had was from reading it. It has to feel plausible, be described with some grace, and if the person who wrote it doesn't have good language I won't read. Well, I guess I'm picky. And nothing's wrong with M-rated fanfics. Not even M-rated slash fanfics. But make them stay in character, please?!
12) Big NO-NO's: violence, rape, incest, anal, things involving animals, kids or people who aren't able to stand up for themselves. No more to say about that.
13) Two things that actually turn me on are that feeling before something actually happens, and the feeling that I'm pleasing someone else. My fantasies often end with the first kiss, or if they go on, with me pleasing him. A lot. So I guess when I find a guy, I would like to make him a lucky one.
14) And that pleasing someone else thing does apply to my whole life, more or less, but once it made me send naked pictures and do some sexting with a guy. He had a girlfriend but still wanted to get into my pants. I found my senses and said no to him, so now he has blocked me from his life. Even though I sometimes thought about reporting him for sexual harassment. (And yeah, that guy also works in the army.) One thing he said to me sticks: "You in a uniform are able to make me do anything." He actually knows how I look in a uniform. After five days without a shower...
15) One "secret" is my love for older men. I do not want to fuck them. I just look up to them, want to be their friend and to know they trust me. Of course I could flirt a bit. Got that feeling for some of my officers (oh, naughty), and I can't shake it off. But right now it's sparse with older men in my life.
16) Although older men are interesting, sexual contact seems to happen only with younger men. Not much younger, I'm pretty young myself, but 1-3 years younger at least. I can't get what they find interesting with me. And the only thing that interests me about them is that they often have pretty beautiful bodies. Not much brains, though.
17) About not knowing what they find interesting, I'm a real woman sometimes. I try to be more like a guy, but I can't help hating my body. I'm not beautiful and sexy. There's nothing interesting or special. I look like a normal human being, not like a model or actress. As long as I feel that way, I guess it will be hard finding a good guy. But these feelings also make it able for me to be naked around people in non-sexual situations. Like in the public shower at the swimming pool or when I had to shower with the guys in the army. So yeah, lots of people have seen me naked, and yeah, I've seen lots of people naked as well. The guys found it worse than me when it was army-related...
18) As you may have realized, I'm pretty easy to turn off. I can feel turned on when I least expect it sometimes, but I'm always able to turn off in a few milliseconds. Irritating, I can promise you. Just a tiny little detail wrong and yeah, the moment's over.
19) I realized I've haven't addressed the bi-romantic thing. I'm not interested in having sex with other women, I just think they're beautiful and often more interesting than guys. So if I want to be romantic sometime, the thought of having a nice time with a woman isn't that far away. But even my mom said to me that "you're as straight anyone can be, honey."
20) I actually see myself in the future as one of those "pathetic" ladies living alone with her three dogs and an OK placement at work. One who, if she meets a guy, everybody thinks that's unusual and a bit funny. But I hope not. Of course I want at least one dog, but I may be able to share my living space with one guy too. Maybe not a husband, but someone I feel equal to.
21) Sex, sex, sex. Well, sometimes I get tired of this sexual liberation and so on. I like sites like this, I like that it's okay to talk about sex and to have it without marriage and that there are ways to protect yourself and that you're allowed to do strange stuff as long as everyone involved says it's fine with them. But sometimes it becomes a bit too much. Actually there are sensitive people out there, actually some people doesn't want to hear about your escapades when they eat lunch at the next table, and kids should be able to be kids without their parents needing to cover their ears or eyes every fifteenth minute. I know sex sells, and that this is 2012, but take it easy sometimes, will you?
22) I think that in my next life I should be full of confidence, and when I see a guy looking at me with interest, I should try to get him into bed. Just because of the fun of it. And in that life I may have a great sex life. Thinking about it, maybe I should try that out in this life, so I'm able to avoid the situation in 20, and so I can erase all bad feelings.
23) I don't have any lists of people I want to sleep with or things I should've tried before a certain age. But if you didn't get that earlier, guys in uniform are always on top of any non-existing imaginary lists...
24) Actually I didn't think I would have this much to say. But I guess thank you for reading and seeing that normal, smart people can have these bad experiences but still be wanting more. Good experiences, then, though.
25) To end with, something that surprised me in a nice way: a commercial on television with this country's strongest man demolishing a car with his own hands. Mmmmm. A big guy making something into small pieces that way made want to jump him. And I'm against violence in all other aspects...
Saturday, March 24, 2012
1. I am a 25 year old heterosexual Japanese American man.
2. I am single and have never had a girlfriend. I reside in the Pacific Northwest and could very well be a victim of the infamous “Seattle freeze” syndrome where people in this city have a difficult time making friends. Maybe it’s the rain that brings us all down emotionally.
3. I am a virgin (laugh all you want!).
4. Please don’t get the image in your mind that I’m a hopeless loser who can’t talk to women. I can talk to women and have plenty female friends. I can be a bit shy and introverted at times, but the major reason why I’ve never had sex before is due to Item #4.
5. I grew up in a conservative Christian household. My mom is a moderate but my dad is definitely on the right side of the religious spectrum. I love them both and would never trade them for different parents. I grew up in the church believing sex outside of marriage is a sin that can lead to damnation in Hell. Though I’m a Protestant, I definitely have that “Catholic guilt” complex going on in my life even as an adult. I still go to church (I go to my mom’s church), but I don’t go as often as I did when I was a child. I still believe in God, even though I tend to question the church’s teachings.
6. I went to a private Christian university and received a great education there. I’m definitely a proud alumnus. But as expected, casual sex was not something that happened openly on my campus. Yes, non-marital sex does happen there, but it isn’t nearly as prevalent as it is on other campuses across America.
7. A smaller reason why I am still a virgin, outside of religious guilt, is my ethnicity. I’m Asian. And we all know the stereotype associated with Asian men: They all have small penises. It’s a stereotype that I openly laugh at and joke about in public (when I’m with friends, of course), but it’s a stereotype that deeply hurts me inside. The “Asian Men Have Baby Penises” stereotype goes deeper than just external anatomy. It desexualizes Asian men and places us in the category of being “less than a man” or “not a real man.” This social emasculation gives me a somewhat low self-esteem in the romance/sex department. I need to work on changing that.
8. Though there are plenty of exceptions, I find in my life that white Caucasian women are far less likely to date an Asian man than a man of any other race. Though interracial relationships are more common today than it used to be, the white woman/Asian man dynamic is still a very rare occurrence.
9. Related to Item #6 (this is more of a long essay than a list of 25 Things!), I find women of all colors to be beautiful. White, black, brown, red, yellow or mixed, women are unbelievably beautiful creatures. While most of my crushes have been on young Asian women (my current crush is a young lady who is half Japanese and half white), a gorgeous woman of any race or ethnicity will make my head turn. While I personally understand why some people prefer one race over the other, my sexual attraction is colorblind.
10. While my sexual attraction is colorblind, my preference in relationships is not. For reasons I cannot explain, I’d prefer to settle down with an Asian woman than a woman of any other color. Does this make me racist or tribalist? Perhaps. This unexplainable preference slightly bothers me.
11. Returning to the subject of Asian men and penis size, I am somewhat of a gym rat and spend anywhere between 6 to 8 hours at the gym per week working out. I mostly lift weights and do light cardio and stretching. While I don’t look anything like a bodybuilder or a professional athlete by any stretch of the imagination (I love watching football and baseball, but playing sports has never been my strength), I think I look fairly good naked. But my major insecurity when naked is that little penis hanging between my legs.
12. Is my penis really small? Truthfully, probably not. But that belief is so ingrained in my psyche that I believe it is. There’s an old joke that guys who have small penises drive large trucks and SUVs to compensate. Because I drive a medium-sized sedan, I compensate by building muscles at the gym. My toned body is my way of compensating. I have no idea if it works.
13. I’ve come to define my fear of having a small penis as “Small Penis Syndrome.” Those who suffer from SPS don’t necessarily have a small penis; they just think they do. SPS is all psychological and has little to do with reality.
14. Speaking of going to the gym, in the locker room I do what every guy does: I do research to see how I “measure” up. As far as my empirical observations go, flaccid penises come in all shapes and sizes. What really matters is the size of an erect penis, which of course no one has in a locker room. That would be awkward. But my casual observations lean toward Asian guys tending to have smaller endowments than our white, black and Latino peers. Is it true that black men have larger penises? Maybe. Some of the black guys that work out at my gym seem to be very well endowed.
15. I have two main fetishes that I don’t consider to be that odd: older women and female bodybuilders.
16. Being attracted to older women is pretty normal and has been explained many times. Older women are seen as more experienced, in need of sexual liberation (or awakening), it’s taboo, it’s looked down upon by society at large, etc. I won’t go into much detail about this.
17. Attraction toward female bodybuilders is a little less common but still not too far out there. I love women with large muscles. I find them incredibly sexy. I don’t find skinny, bony women to be that attractive. A thick, strong woman with big, bulging muscles is a major turn-on. Though I’ve never personally met an FBB, I’ve seen toned, athletic women at the gym. And trust me, they make it difficult to concentrate on my workout.
18. My idea of heaven on Earth would be to spend the night with a female bodybuilder. Just Google Lisa Cross, Karen Zaremba, Lynn McCrossin, Yvette Bova, Victoria Dominguez or Denise Masino to get an idea of what I’m talking about.
19. I watch porn occasionally, but what really turns me on is reading sexy scenes from romance books. Romance books written by women are preferable. One chapter out of a Linda Howard novel can turn me on more than watching an hour of mind-numbing predictable porn. I find most porn to be boring or disgusting.
20. I sometimes watch porn to see how well-endowed the male performers are. Some are very large, others appear more normal. Because I’m not attracted to men, I have no idea what sizes of penises straight women and gay men prefer to see in their porn.
21. I think there should be more Asian men doing porn, which is odd considering I don’t consider doing porn to be that noble of a profession. The more we see Asian men as sexual beings, the better society will become (and the dating pool for me!).
22. When I do watch or look at porn, I usually search for muscular women. Whether it’s two FBBs doing a lesbian scene, an FBB going solo or an FBB having sex with a man or fellow male bodybuilder, I prefer to see a muscular woman in action than a skinny, surgery-enhanced girl with fake breasts.
23. Speaking of which, I am not terribly crazy about breasts. I find a woman with small breasts to be more beautiful than a woman with large melons on her chest. And I consider myself to be a leg guy. A great pair of legs will make me go crazy. If the stereotype is that Asian men have small penises, there’s also the hurtful stereotype that Asian women have small breasts. I would imagine this stereotype would hurt them just as much as the small penis stereotype hurts me.
24. I masturbate about 4 to 5 times a week. Since I was 12, I’ve masturbated using the same method: I lay face-down naked in my bed and rub my penis against the mattress till climax. Essentially, this simulates missionary sex. Never once have I manually stimulated myself to orgasm, which is how we normally picture male masturbation.
25. And now, a factoid you’ve all been waiting for: When erect, my penis is 5.5 inches long and 4.75 inches in circumference. There you go. Is that small? Or normal? Or in between? I’ll let you decide.
2. I am single and have never had a girlfriend. I reside in the Pacific Northwest and could very well be a victim of the infamous “Seattle freeze” syndrome where people in this city have a difficult time making friends. Maybe it’s the rain that brings us all down emotionally.
3. I am a virgin (laugh all you want!).
4. Please don’t get the image in your mind that I’m a hopeless loser who can’t talk to women. I can talk to women and have plenty female friends. I can be a bit shy and introverted at times, but the major reason why I’ve never had sex before is due to Item #4.
5. I grew up in a conservative Christian household. My mom is a moderate but my dad is definitely on the right side of the religious spectrum. I love them both and would never trade them for different parents. I grew up in the church believing sex outside of marriage is a sin that can lead to damnation in Hell. Though I’m a Protestant, I definitely have that “Catholic guilt” complex going on in my life even as an adult. I still go to church (I go to my mom’s church), but I don’t go as often as I did when I was a child. I still believe in God, even though I tend to question the church’s teachings.
6. I went to a private Christian university and received a great education there. I’m definitely a proud alumnus. But as expected, casual sex was not something that happened openly on my campus. Yes, non-marital sex does happen there, but it isn’t nearly as prevalent as it is on other campuses across America.
7. A smaller reason why I am still a virgin, outside of religious guilt, is my ethnicity. I’m Asian. And we all know the stereotype associated with Asian men: They all have small penises. It’s a stereotype that I openly laugh at and joke about in public (when I’m with friends, of course), but it’s a stereotype that deeply hurts me inside. The “Asian Men Have Baby Penises” stereotype goes deeper than just external anatomy. It desexualizes Asian men and places us in the category of being “less than a man” or “not a real man.” This social emasculation gives me a somewhat low self-esteem in the romance/sex department. I need to work on changing that.
8. Though there are plenty of exceptions, I find in my life that white Caucasian women are far less likely to date an Asian man than a man of any other race. Though interracial relationships are more common today than it used to be, the white woman/Asian man dynamic is still a very rare occurrence.
9. Related to Item #6 (this is more of a long essay than a list of 25 Things!), I find women of all colors to be beautiful. White, black, brown, red, yellow or mixed, women are unbelievably beautiful creatures. While most of my crushes have been on young Asian women (my current crush is a young lady who is half Japanese and half white), a gorgeous woman of any race or ethnicity will make my head turn. While I personally understand why some people prefer one race over the other, my sexual attraction is colorblind.
10. While my sexual attraction is colorblind, my preference in relationships is not. For reasons I cannot explain, I’d prefer to settle down with an Asian woman than a woman of any other color. Does this make me racist or tribalist? Perhaps. This unexplainable preference slightly bothers me.
11. Returning to the subject of Asian men and penis size, I am somewhat of a gym rat and spend anywhere between 6 to 8 hours at the gym per week working out. I mostly lift weights and do light cardio and stretching. While I don’t look anything like a bodybuilder or a professional athlete by any stretch of the imagination (I love watching football and baseball, but playing sports has never been my strength), I think I look fairly good naked. But my major insecurity when naked is that little penis hanging between my legs.
12. Is my penis really small? Truthfully, probably not. But that belief is so ingrained in my psyche that I believe it is. There’s an old joke that guys who have small penises drive large trucks and SUVs to compensate. Because I drive a medium-sized sedan, I compensate by building muscles at the gym. My toned body is my way of compensating. I have no idea if it works.
13. I’ve come to define my fear of having a small penis as “Small Penis Syndrome.” Those who suffer from SPS don’t necessarily have a small penis; they just think they do. SPS is all psychological and has little to do with reality.
14. Speaking of going to the gym, in the locker room I do what every guy does: I do research to see how I “measure” up. As far as my empirical observations go, flaccid penises come in all shapes and sizes. What really matters is the size of an erect penis, which of course no one has in a locker room. That would be awkward. But my casual observations lean toward Asian guys tending to have smaller endowments than our white, black and Latino peers. Is it true that black men have larger penises? Maybe. Some of the black guys that work out at my gym seem to be very well endowed.
15. I have two main fetishes that I don’t consider to be that odd: older women and female bodybuilders.
16. Being attracted to older women is pretty normal and has been explained many times. Older women are seen as more experienced, in need of sexual liberation (or awakening), it’s taboo, it’s looked down upon by society at large, etc. I won’t go into much detail about this.
17. Attraction toward female bodybuilders is a little less common but still not too far out there. I love women with large muscles. I find them incredibly sexy. I don’t find skinny, bony women to be that attractive. A thick, strong woman with big, bulging muscles is a major turn-on. Though I’ve never personally met an FBB, I’ve seen toned, athletic women at the gym. And trust me, they make it difficult to concentrate on my workout.
18. My idea of heaven on Earth would be to spend the night with a female bodybuilder. Just Google Lisa Cross, Karen Zaremba, Lynn McCrossin, Yvette Bova, Victoria Dominguez or Denise Masino to get an idea of what I’m talking about.
19. I watch porn occasionally, but what really turns me on is reading sexy scenes from romance books. Romance books written by women are preferable. One chapter out of a Linda Howard novel can turn me on more than watching an hour of mind-numbing predictable porn. I find most porn to be boring or disgusting.
20. I sometimes watch porn to see how well-endowed the male performers are. Some are very large, others appear more normal. Because I’m not attracted to men, I have no idea what sizes of penises straight women and gay men prefer to see in their porn.
21. I think there should be more Asian men doing porn, which is odd considering I don’t consider doing porn to be that noble of a profession. The more we see Asian men as sexual beings, the better society will become (and the dating pool for me!).
22. When I do watch or look at porn, I usually search for muscular women. Whether it’s two FBBs doing a lesbian scene, an FBB going solo or an FBB having sex with a man or fellow male bodybuilder, I prefer to see a muscular woman in action than a skinny, surgery-enhanced girl with fake breasts.
23. Speaking of which, I am not terribly crazy about breasts. I find a woman with small breasts to be more beautiful than a woman with large melons on her chest. And I consider myself to be a leg guy. A great pair of legs will make me go crazy. If the stereotype is that Asian men have small penises, there’s also the hurtful stereotype that Asian women have small breasts. I would imagine this stereotype would hurt them just as much as the small penis stereotype hurts me.
24. I masturbate about 4 to 5 times a week. Since I was 12, I’ve masturbated using the same method: I lay face-down naked in my bed and rub my penis against the mattress till climax. Essentially, this simulates missionary sex. Never once have I manually stimulated myself to orgasm, which is how we normally picture male masturbation.
25. And now, a factoid you’ve all been waiting for: When erect, my penis is 5.5 inches long and 4.75 inches in circumference. There you go. Is that small? Or normal? Or in between? I’ll let you decide.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
1. I am a 19-year-old straight female. It took experimenting my freshman year of college to realize that I am only attracted to men.
2. I haven’t had sex yet. I'm glad it hasn’t happened yet, because only now do I feel ready psychologically. I’m not sure I’m ready to have another person see me that vulnerable.
3. When I masturbated today, I tied down my feet for the first time. I have bound my hands behind my back and gagged myself before. It got me horny when I did it—I can’t imagine what I would be going through if someone else was doing it.
4. I feel like I’ve been behind the curve when it comes to sexual experience—psychologically, that is. I don’t understand how some individuals can date a person they’re not interested in or attracted to.
5. I had a guy sleep over in the beginning of the year for the first time. He never called back. I’m afraid that has set me back.
6. This year feels like one of the few times I've looked in the mirror and found my face beautiful. I don’t feel the same way about the rest of my body.
7. The first time I gave a blowjob, I was in high school. I did it so my ex-boyfriend would still be interested in me. I wish I could explain to my 17-year-old self that he wasn’t worth it.
8. The thought of a guy going down on me is unnerving. I feel like I would enjoy the experience, but I would also be worried about my flabby inner thighs.
9. I’ve never had a mutual sexual relationship. I always feel like I want it more than they do.
10. I have experimented with denying my own orgasms, but I don’t have the will to do it for longer than an hour. I like the feeling of coming too much.
11. My father never molested me or touched me inappropriately, but I link a lot of my negative feelings towards sex and love to him.
12. I don’t enjoy professional porn. I would much rather read erotica. However, amateur porn can turn me on too.
13. I don’t have a shaved pussy, and I feel like that will be a deal-breaker or a turn-off for my partner.
14. I am interested in taking on a dominant role with my partner. I can also be a very happy sub.
15. While physical attractiveness is important to me, I need to be attracted to a guy’s face. Usually, the guys I’m attracted to have slightly angular features, light brown/blonde hair, and very defined masculine features.
16. I am turned off by stubby fingers. I can't imagine them inside me-- and that's the first thing I do imagine when I look at a guy's hands who I am attracted to.
17. I want to lose my virginity to someone I feel connected to on an emotional level—I don’t think I need to be in a relationship for that.
18. Yet, I love being in a relationship. But my past two partners I haven’t felt emotionally connected to, which left the relationship in pieces.
19. One of the most nerve-wracking experiences with a previous boyfriend was when I asked him to bite me on my neck. I think he was a little shocked, but it felt amazing.
20. I am more attracted to older guys. Something about them having their lives together is really sexy.
21. I don’t find my breasts to stimulate me that much. If my partner uses light feather touches and drags his hands down my sides... well, it works much better.
22. I love kissing. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they kiss. If I’m attracted to someone, I imagine what it would be like to make out with them.
23. I feel slightly embarrassed by my lack of sexual experience.
24. I love lacy lingerie—it brings out my sexier side.
25. I have been told I’m cute. I’m not sure whether I find that to be a compliment.
2. I haven’t had sex yet. I'm glad it hasn’t happened yet, because only now do I feel ready psychologically. I’m not sure I’m ready to have another person see me that vulnerable.
3. When I masturbated today, I tied down my feet for the first time. I have bound my hands behind my back and gagged myself before. It got me horny when I did it—I can’t imagine what I would be going through if someone else was doing it.
4. I feel like I’ve been behind the curve when it comes to sexual experience—psychologically, that is. I don’t understand how some individuals can date a person they’re not interested in or attracted to.
5. I had a guy sleep over in the beginning of the year for the first time. He never called back. I’m afraid that has set me back.
6. This year feels like one of the few times I've looked in the mirror and found my face beautiful. I don’t feel the same way about the rest of my body.
7. The first time I gave a blowjob, I was in high school. I did it so my ex-boyfriend would still be interested in me. I wish I could explain to my 17-year-old self that he wasn’t worth it.
8. The thought of a guy going down on me is unnerving. I feel like I would enjoy the experience, but I would also be worried about my flabby inner thighs.
9. I’ve never had a mutual sexual relationship. I always feel like I want it more than they do.
10. I have experimented with denying my own orgasms, but I don’t have the will to do it for longer than an hour. I like the feeling of coming too much.
11. My father never molested me or touched me inappropriately, but I link a lot of my negative feelings towards sex and love to him.
12. I don’t enjoy professional porn. I would much rather read erotica. However, amateur porn can turn me on too.
13. I don’t have a shaved pussy, and I feel like that will be a deal-breaker or a turn-off for my partner.
14. I am interested in taking on a dominant role with my partner. I can also be a very happy sub.
15. While physical attractiveness is important to me, I need to be attracted to a guy’s face. Usually, the guys I’m attracted to have slightly angular features, light brown/blonde hair, and very defined masculine features.
16. I am turned off by stubby fingers. I can't imagine them inside me-- and that's the first thing I do imagine when I look at a guy's hands who I am attracted to.
17. I want to lose my virginity to someone I feel connected to on an emotional level—I don’t think I need to be in a relationship for that.
18. Yet, I love being in a relationship. But my past two partners I haven’t felt emotionally connected to, which left the relationship in pieces.
19. One of the most nerve-wracking experiences with a previous boyfriend was when I asked him to bite me on my neck. I think he was a little shocked, but it felt amazing.
20. I am more attracted to older guys. Something about them having their lives together is really sexy.
21. I don’t find my breasts to stimulate me that much. If my partner uses light feather touches and drags his hands down my sides... well, it works much better.
22. I love kissing. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they kiss. If I’m attracted to someone, I imagine what it would be like to make out with them.
23. I feel slightly embarrassed by my lack of sexual experience.
24. I love lacy lingerie—it brings out my sexier side.
25. I have been told I’m cute. I’m not sure whether I find that to be a compliment.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
1. I'm 32 years old, have had one girlfriend, and have not had sexual intercourse.
2. The one girlfriend and I did cuddling, hand-holding, kissing and breast touching, but that's all.
3. I don't usually care about not having had sex, although I remain somewhat curious.
4. My level of libido is generally low, although it occasionally flares up.
5. My lack of sexual experience is mostly due to a few factors: social anxiety, dislike of romance/dating, and a tendency to prefer solitude.
6. I find breasts fascinating and always have. They are not only sexually attractive, but also interesting on other levels: aesthetic, cultural, etc. They are by far the most interesting aspect of sexuality for me. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel interested in them.
7. I usually like large breasts, but smaller ones can be appealing as well.
8. I occasionally find other parts of the (female) anatomy attractive, including legs, hips, and arms. But only mildly.
9. Despite the general cultural expectation that males are supposed to "chase" females, I greatly prefer it the other way around. The relationship mentioned above came about because she pursued me quite aggressively.
10. I seem to be considered good-looking, and other girls/women have approached/flirted with me with in the past. But, due to #5, I've usually turned them away.
11. I think the red hair/freckles look is aesthetically nice.
12. I've only watched one porn movie in my life, and only because my college roommate was making a copy of it for another dorm resident. I thought it was stupid and tasteless.
13. I do, however, sometimes browse the internet for softcore-type material. Specifically, pictures of busty women.
14. I find the idea of a blowjob disgusting. My girlfriend unfortunately really liked it and wanted to perform one on me, which is a factor that led to our breakup.
15. I find kissing boring.
16. I do enjoy physical contact as a more general thing. Hugging, cuddling, etc. are nice. I think there hasn't been enough of that in my life.
17. I've had two crushes in my life, one in preschool and one in 4th grade. At some point, I seemed to lose my ability to crush on anyone.
18. For some reason, a girl shaving her head is (mildly) erotic to me. It may be a combination of its taboo aspect along with its (relative) permanence. A woman with beautiful hair losing it all to the clippers (voluntarily or not) is oddly fascinating.
19. I think that a topless woman is much more attractive than one who is completely nude.
20. I don't have any problem with overweight women, although that's partly because they tend to have larger breasts.
21. I can sometimes appreciate aesthetic beauty in men, but have no desire to engage in any kind of sexual activities with them.
22. I masturbate fairly often, probably 5-6 times a week. This is usually not due to desire, but just because I find it fun. It's not a bad way to kill 10 or 15 minutes.
23. Lack of a relationship doesn't bother me, but I wouldn't mind having more experience with the physical aspects of sex. Or, at least, I often wish I could play with some boobs, as per #6. I think about them often.
24. I honestly don't think I could be in a relationship with a flat-chested woman. There would most likely be no attraction.
25. My parents once asked me if I was asexual. That would seem to sum up how people in my daily life see me.
2. The one girlfriend and I did cuddling, hand-holding, kissing and breast touching, but that's all.
3. I don't usually care about not having had sex, although I remain somewhat curious.
4. My level of libido is generally low, although it occasionally flares up.
5. My lack of sexual experience is mostly due to a few factors: social anxiety, dislike of romance/dating, and a tendency to prefer solitude.
6. I find breasts fascinating and always have. They are not only sexually attractive, but also interesting on other levels: aesthetic, cultural, etc. They are by far the most interesting aspect of sexuality for me. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel interested in them.
7. I usually like large breasts, but smaller ones can be appealing as well.
8. I occasionally find other parts of the (female) anatomy attractive, including legs, hips, and arms. But only mildly.
9. Despite the general cultural expectation that males are supposed to "chase" females, I greatly prefer it the other way around. The relationship mentioned above came about because she pursued me quite aggressively.
10. I seem to be considered good-looking, and other girls/women have approached/flirted with me with in the past. But, due to #5, I've usually turned them away.
11. I think the red hair/freckles look is aesthetically nice.
12. I've only watched one porn movie in my life, and only because my college roommate was making a copy of it for another dorm resident. I thought it was stupid and tasteless.
13. I do, however, sometimes browse the internet for softcore-type material. Specifically, pictures of busty women.
14. I find the idea of a blowjob disgusting. My girlfriend unfortunately really liked it and wanted to perform one on me, which is a factor that led to our breakup.
15. I find kissing boring.
16. I do enjoy physical contact as a more general thing. Hugging, cuddling, etc. are nice. I think there hasn't been enough of that in my life.
17. I've had two crushes in my life, one in preschool and one in 4th grade. At some point, I seemed to lose my ability to crush on anyone.
18. For some reason, a girl shaving her head is (mildly) erotic to me. It may be a combination of its taboo aspect along with its (relative) permanence. A woman with beautiful hair losing it all to the clippers (voluntarily or not) is oddly fascinating.
19. I think that a topless woman is much more attractive than one who is completely nude.
20. I don't have any problem with overweight women, although that's partly because they tend to have larger breasts.
21. I can sometimes appreciate aesthetic beauty in men, but have no desire to engage in any kind of sexual activities with them.
22. I masturbate fairly often, probably 5-6 times a week. This is usually not due to desire, but just because I find it fun. It's not a bad way to kill 10 or 15 minutes.
23. Lack of a relationship doesn't bother me, but I wouldn't mind having more experience with the physical aspects of sex. Or, at least, I often wish I could play with some boobs, as per #6. I think about them often.
24. I honestly don't think I could be in a relationship with a flat-chested woman. There would most likely be no attraction.
25. My parents once asked me if I was asexual. That would seem to sum up how people in my daily life see me.
Monday, March 19, 2012
1. I’m a 27-year-old woman, currently single, and though I’m not counting, I guess I have had sex with around 15 guys (and no girls) so far.
2. I’m a sucker for people who know how to touch my back and neck. It's the key to turning me on, calming me down, making me fall in love.
3. I first explored many of my fantasies through Dungeons & Dragons role playing games, while being in a sexual relationship with the game master.
4. I stayed in a relationship with that guy way longer than I should have because he gave me amazing head and made me come forever and ever, again and again. No one I’ve been with later have reached that level of competency with my cunt.
5. One of the most erotic experiences I’ve had with my clothes on was a private tango lesson.
6. Another was playful fighting.
7. I get turned on by lack of control, and enjoy some physical domination, like being held down.
8. Some pain can potentially be a turn-on, humiliation is a big turn-off.
9. I usually can’t masturbate with only my hands, it’s too predictable. It’s like tickling myself, it doesn’t work. Vibrators work like a charm.
10. One of my favorite fantasies while masturbating is simply floating naked in the sea with the sun sparking off me and the waves. Another is tentacle rape.
11. I used to have very conflicted feelings about causal sex, and had big problems asking for what I want. Not any more. I can be very cuddly and intimate with someone I have no intention of being sexual with again. This sometimes leads to them thinking that we could become “something more,” even though I try to always make my intentions very clear to both me and my partner if I only want casual sex.
12. I love to figure out another person's tics and nerve paths and individual preferences. The best part is to discover something they didn’t know themselves.
13. I love giving blow jobs. The control, finding out exactly what he likes, seeing him enjoy it, keeping him on the edge... Huge turn-ons. I like coming with his cock in my mouth during 69.
14. A huge turn-on is when the guy I’m with gets so turned on they stop controlling themselves. I usually get really frustrated with people who are concentrating too hard on holding back forever, never letting go, losing the spontaneity and fun of it.
15. I collect porn, mostly images, mostly not from mainstream porn, picked from tumblr blogs. Some repeating topics are people who are smiling or laughing during sex, “artistic” photos, vintage pictures, smutty art, manga tentacle rape, and some man-on-man-themed pics.
16. The more sex I have, the more sex I want. If I don't have a steady partner, I don't have a very strong sex drive.
17. The last 8 months, being single, it seems like I’ve entered a cycle where I’m OK for 1.5 months and then I have sex with the first convenient person I’m attracted to.
18. I don’t have a clear preference for a specific body type, age or complexion.
19. I sometimes come in my sleep, and wake up in the middle of it. It’s amazing.
20. I’ve had anal sex 4 times. One of them was great, the rest meh.
21. I enjoy taking naked (sexy or not) self portraits. I’ve posted some of them on the internet, and I’ve sent some to guys when we were together. I’m not at all worried about them turning up somewhere.
22. Intelligence, personal integrity and a strong sense of morals are huge turn-ons for me.
23. I love reading sexually themed blogs.
24. I like to bite. Not ever hard enough to leave marks, but apparently sometimes hard enough that it hurts.
25. I would like to have sex with a woman if the opportunity presented itself.
2. I’m a sucker for people who know how to touch my back and neck. It's the key to turning me on, calming me down, making me fall in love.
3. I first explored many of my fantasies through Dungeons & Dragons role playing games, while being in a sexual relationship with the game master.
4. I stayed in a relationship with that guy way longer than I should have because he gave me amazing head and made me come forever and ever, again and again. No one I’ve been with later have reached that level of competency with my cunt.
5. One of the most erotic experiences I’ve had with my clothes on was a private tango lesson.
6. Another was playful fighting.
7. I get turned on by lack of control, and enjoy some physical domination, like being held down.
8. Some pain can potentially be a turn-on, humiliation is a big turn-off.
9. I usually can’t masturbate with only my hands, it’s too predictable. It’s like tickling myself, it doesn’t work. Vibrators work like a charm.
10. One of my favorite fantasies while masturbating is simply floating naked in the sea with the sun sparking off me and the waves. Another is tentacle rape.
11. I used to have very conflicted feelings about causal sex, and had big problems asking for what I want. Not any more. I can be very cuddly and intimate with someone I have no intention of being sexual with again. This sometimes leads to them thinking that we could become “something more,” even though I try to always make my intentions very clear to both me and my partner if I only want casual sex.
12. I love to figure out another person's tics and nerve paths and individual preferences. The best part is to discover something they didn’t know themselves.
13. I love giving blow jobs. The control, finding out exactly what he likes, seeing him enjoy it, keeping him on the edge... Huge turn-ons. I like coming with his cock in my mouth during 69.
14. A huge turn-on is when the guy I’m with gets so turned on they stop controlling themselves. I usually get really frustrated with people who are concentrating too hard on holding back forever, never letting go, losing the spontaneity and fun of it.
15. I collect porn, mostly images, mostly not from mainstream porn, picked from tumblr blogs. Some repeating topics are people who are smiling or laughing during sex, “artistic” photos, vintage pictures, smutty art, manga tentacle rape, and some man-on-man-themed pics.
16. The more sex I have, the more sex I want. If I don't have a steady partner, I don't have a very strong sex drive.
17. The last 8 months, being single, it seems like I’ve entered a cycle where I’m OK for 1.5 months and then I have sex with the first convenient person I’m attracted to.
18. I don’t have a clear preference for a specific body type, age or complexion.
19. I sometimes come in my sleep, and wake up in the middle of it. It’s amazing.
20. I’ve had anal sex 4 times. One of them was great, the rest meh.
21. I enjoy taking naked (sexy or not) self portraits. I’ve posted some of them on the internet, and I’ve sent some to guys when we were together. I’m not at all worried about them turning up somewhere.
22. Intelligence, personal integrity and a strong sense of morals are huge turn-ons for me.
23. I love reading sexually themed blogs.
24. I like to bite. Not ever hard enough to leave marks, but apparently sometimes hard enough that it hurts.
25. I would like to have sex with a woman if the opportunity presented itself.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
1. At one point I really felt I should identify as bi, or queer... but I have realized I am not. I do believe that attraction can happen with anyone of any gender, and I have been attracted to women and transgender folks. I have only kissed women – drunkenly, and in my early 20s, which doesn't really matter, or count. I remain open to the possibilities, but I don't seek them out. I occasionally fantasize about women. Boobs can get me off. Ultimately though, I know my strong preference is for men. I like penises. A lot.
2. Being a serious fan of the penis, oral sex is important to me. I am terribly disappointed when I have a partner who doesn't care for blow jobs (yes, such men exist). I love giving blow jobs. It's a major turn on for me. I love pleasuring someone else, and I love the reaction from my partner. I love learning just how my partner likes to be touched, and bringing pleasure with just my mouth. I like knowing my way around my partner's cock. I discovered recently that I also adore an uncircumcised penis. Honestly, it seemed like he derived a bit more, or perhaps a different sort of pleasure than the cut boys. It also adds a new dimension to the blow job, some added pleasure assistance with the foreskin.
3. I love having sex; it is important to me. My reserved nature and mild seriousness around new people belies my sexual appetite and joy about it. Sex is fun, and I want it in my life forever.
4. I enjoy and watch porn. This was not always the case. When I was younger I had some judgements against porn, but it was knee-jerk, and slightly one-sided. I had never really been a consumer of porn at that point, though I have always been a supporter of sex workers. I don't care for really mainstream porn—bleach-blonde hair, fake tits, and close-up penetration shots do nothing for me. I watch amateur porn the most, and enjoy feminist and lady-produced porn. I also enjoy well-made dirty pictures often.
5. One of my very favorite things to watch (in amateur porn) is men masturbating. Oh, how I love it. I like hearing and watching them come, and love seeing how different men touch themselves. There is such a variety! It's definitely very aural for me--hearing moans of pleasure and climax will push me to come. A partner once told me that I touched his cock as if I'd had my own before (it was a compliment). I think I can owe that to all the male masturbation videos I watch, and a bit of gay porn too.
6. I feel like I have so much left to experience or explore sexually. One day I want a wholly trusted, long term sexual partner to truly explore with.
7. I was in a long-term relationship of nearly seven years. We did not have sex for five of those years (I know. I can hear your shocked gasps from here). There wasn't any sex outside of the relationship for either of us. I have a hard time understanding or explaining what this was all about. I claimed for several years to be fine with the situation, and in the beginning it had been my feelings that led to me avoiding sex. I had no sex drive, and I just didn't want to bother at all--it seemed a bother for me. My simplest analysis tells me that I was experiencing a very long period of depression. I didn't recognize my complete lack of sexuality as a symptom at the time. Toward the end of the relationship I began to realize that our lack of sex and passion was not normal or healthy. I tried to encourage having sex again, but I was too late... my partner had come to love me in a very non-sexual way, and had no sexual interest in me. We were deteriorating fast.
8. Luckily, this relationship ended. I proceeded to jump headlong into dating, and fucking everyone. I hungered to feel sexual, sexy, and fuck-able. I was lonely. I learned a lot. This was my first time having sex in my 30s, and it was great! I had a few one-night-stands, and dated/continuously fucked a few others for 2-3 months. I was really after sex. I greatly enjoyed almost all of the sex I had (sadly, sometimes there are duds), and succeeded in developing sexual confidence. It eventually started to feel even more lonely, though--trying to seek closeness through sex. I've calmed down now. I really do value those times, and getting a grip on who I am sexually--learning what works and what doesn't. I am certainly a sexual being, and I know this as truth now; I value it.
9. I have had 20 sexual partners in my life (intercourse), nine of them in the last year and a half since my LTR ended. Damn! I don't wish to continue at that rate, but I absolutely don't regret those experiences.
10. I have never personally encountered an STD. I am a fortunate lady.
11. I did not enjoy sex with high school boyfriends (2), and we only had sex a handful of times. I refused sex with my first love at 18. I hadn't enjoyed my previous experiences with others, and this love of mine never had condoms, so I wouldn't let anything happen. We had a terrible break-up. I was 20 the first time I had sex with someone because I really wanted it, and was prepared for it (on pills).
12. Generally, I have a hard time coming with partners. I have never had an orgasm from vaginal penetration, and really don't understand how that's possible without simultaneous clitoral stimulation. Only two partners have made me come (that's sad!). One, my long term partner, made me come orally when we were still having sex early on. Every time. The other in my early 20s made me come while he was inside me, but we were in a good position (sitting up) to have my clit stimulated. Very unexpectedly, I came. Despite very rare orgasms with partners, I usually feel very satisfied. I have never faked it, and never will. I don't see the worth in that, it's just lying.
13. I didn't have sex doggy-style until I was 34. Can you imagine?! I think I always felt like it would be demeaning somehow? It's not, and I like it very much.
14. My sex is vanilla, but varied. I'd like to explore more. Some things I'd like to try with a future partner: sex in a public place, sex outdoors, light bondage, some light dominance play, incorporating toys. I'd also go for some fantasies/role play depending on what the fella has in mind.
15. A recent partner really wanted to have anal sex. I'm just not really interested. The feeling of fullness associated with this type of penetration only feels good to me up to a point, like beginning and ending at a finger. I won't deny that feels good for a change of pace.
16. I have masturbated since a very young age. I was probably about 11 or 12 when I could identify what I was doing as masturbation. I would sometimes feel guilty, but mostly I just really enjoyed it, and found coming to be kind of soothing. I would look at pictures of celebrities in my Bop magazines. I had fantasies about my junior high crushes too... I don't remember what they were.
17. For years I was exclusively a pillow/blanket/towel humper. In my teens I practiced kissing on my stuffed bear while I masturbated, a foreplay of sorts. I was used to having orgasms while on my belly, and I never touched myself with my fingers—I didn't know what was what down there for a long time. I've always envied that boys could so easily see what they were doing when they masturbated.
18. I started to finger myself in my 20s at some point. It felt good, but humping would still be necessary to get me off. I finally came with my fingers, and on my back, when I was 30 or so. I liked it, and it become my preferred way to come--though I rarely masturbated at that time. When I was on my own again, I purchased a vibrator. I had wanted one since my early 20s, but never had the nerve to let my former boyfriend know about it. Anyway, I got a simple one a year and a half ago, and love it. I don't think I can masturbate without it.
19. A couple of my short term partners wanted to include it in sex, but we never got to it.
20. I really look forward to a future partner to explore with, and have sex with regularly. I do long to connect sexually with someone I care deeply about. I want to give and share with someone in this way. I know I need to be able to share this in my next relationship. I look forward to good, healthy sex.
21. I like sex a little rough. Hence #14, and wanting a little dominance play. I like a partner who feels the desire to fuck the shit out of me in many different positions. Having my hair pulled on, my neck grabbed, being held down, and oh, biting. These are all turn-ons. My nipples are also a direct link to my arousal, a little pinching in addition to licking and sucking, is heaven.
22. I have been told that I am a good kisser, a good snuggler and back scratcher, that I give excellent head, that I am sexy, that my tits are fantastic (I'm self-conscious because they are large), and that my pussy gets very wet, and tight. Maybe all the ladies are told this. I like hearing these things, and maybe I hope all the ladies are told this if it is true. I like hearing about what's turning my partner on.
23. Penis size is usually not an issue to me. A really skinny cock is what I have found to be most disappointing. But even short cocks are fine, it's all about how you use it. As long as his desire is there, and it's hard, I'm happy. Since I haven't mentioned it, and I'm coming up on 25 things, I like jizz. Coming in my mouth is fine. I have no problem swallowing, and feel kind of like a badass when I do. With vaginal sex, I do prefer to have my partner come inside me. I don't like a physical disconnection at that moment. Maybe that's why I swallow.
24. I like receiving oral as much as I like giving. I find 69 distracting though, and I'm not that into it. I like for us both to have individual time. I have found that some men have a hard time just receiving. I don't really understand it. I think they really, really don't want to come off as selfish in bed which I can appreciate, but a lady like me really, really wants the chance to please too.
25. I think going down on a lady is really tricky, as we are all so different. What gets one off every time may absolutely not work, or even irritate another. I don't really like have my clit sucked, actually I think I hate it. I need slow and steady work on my pussy, and I feel like many guys think fast and furious is the answer. I think most porn perpetuates that idea, because in mainstream porn ladies aren't really having their needs met. Maybe fast and flick-y is great for some. Not for me. To orgasm with oral I need time to teach, or luckily just come across a slow one. Having a tongue inside my pussy is divine, but I don't get it much. Just another reason I look forward to that regular sex partner in the future. Readers: This was fun, and this blog is a great idea. Do it! I love reading lists from straight men here--it can be difficult to get this kind of info out of them, and I love reading what they really feel and think about sex.
2. Being a serious fan of the penis, oral sex is important to me. I am terribly disappointed when I have a partner who doesn't care for blow jobs (yes, such men exist). I love giving blow jobs. It's a major turn on for me. I love pleasuring someone else, and I love the reaction from my partner. I love learning just how my partner likes to be touched, and bringing pleasure with just my mouth. I like knowing my way around my partner's cock. I discovered recently that I also adore an uncircumcised penis. Honestly, it seemed like he derived a bit more, or perhaps a different sort of pleasure than the cut boys. It also adds a new dimension to the blow job, some added pleasure assistance with the foreskin.
3. I love having sex; it is important to me. My reserved nature and mild seriousness around new people belies my sexual appetite and joy about it. Sex is fun, and I want it in my life forever.
4. I enjoy and watch porn. This was not always the case. When I was younger I had some judgements against porn, but it was knee-jerk, and slightly one-sided. I had never really been a consumer of porn at that point, though I have always been a supporter of sex workers. I don't care for really mainstream porn—bleach-blonde hair, fake tits, and close-up penetration shots do nothing for me. I watch amateur porn the most, and enjoy feminist and lady-produced porn. I also enjoy well-made dirty pictures often.
5. One of my very favorite things to watch (in amateur porn) is men masturbating. Oh, how I love it. I like hearing and watching them come, and love seeing how different men touch themselves. There is such a variety! It's definitely very aural for me--hearing moans of pleasure and climax will push me to come. A partner once told me that I touched his cock as if I'd had my own before (it was a compliment). I think I can owe that to all the male masturbation videos I watch, and a bit of gay porn too.
6. I feel like I have so much left to experience or explore sexually. One day I want a wholly trusted, long term sexual partner to truly explore with.
7. I was in a long-term relationship of nearly seven years. We did not have sex for five of those years (I know. I can hear your shocked gasps from here). There wasn't any sex outside of the relationship for either of us. I have a hard time understanding or explaining what this was all about. I claimed for several years to be fine with the situation, and in the beginning it had been my feelings that led to me avoiding sex. I had no sex drive, and I just didn't want to bother at all--it seemed a bother for me. My simplest analysis tells me that I was experiencing a very long period of depression. I didn't recognize my complete lack of sexuality as a symptom at the time. Toward the end of the relationship I began to realize that our lack of sex and passion was not normal or healthy. I tried to encourage having sex again, but I was too late... my partner had come to love me in a very non-sexual way, and had no sexual interest in me. We were deteriorating fast.
8. Luckily, this relationship ended. I proceeded to jump headlong into dating, and fucking everyone. I hungered to feel sexual, sexy, and fuck-able. I was lonely. I learned a lot. This was my first time having sex in my 30s, and it was great! I had a few one-night-stands, and dated/continuously fucked a few others for 2-3 months. I was really after sex. I greatly enjoyed almost all of the sex I had (sadly, sometimes there are duds), and succeeded in developing sexual confidence. It eventually started to feel even more lonely, though--trying to seek closeness through sex. I've calmed down now. I really do value those times, and getting a grip on who I am sexually--learning what works and what doesn't. I am certainly a sexual being, and I know this as truth now; I value it.
9. I have had 20 sexual partners in my life (intercourse), nine of them in the last year and a half since my LTR ended. Damn! I don't wish to continue at that rate, but I absolutely don't regret those experiences.
10. I have never personally encountered an STD. I am a fortunate lady.
11. I did not enjoy sex with high school boyfriends (2), and we only had sex a handful of times. I refused sex with my first love at 18. I hadn't enjoyed my previous experiences with others, and this love of mine never had condoms, so I wouldn't let anything happen. We had a terrible break-up. I was 20 the first time I had sex with someone because I really wanted it, and was prepared for it (on pills).
12. Generally, I have a hard time coming with partners. I have never had an orgasm from vaginal penetration, and really don't understand how that's possible without simultaneous clitoral stimulation. Only two partners have made me come (that's sad!). One, my long term partner, made me come orally when we were still having sex early on. Every time. The other in my early 20s made me come while he was inside me, but we were in a good position (sitting up) to have my clit stimulated. Very unexpectedly, I came. Despite very rare orgasms with partners, I usually feel very satisfied. I have never faked it, and never will. I don't see the worth in that, it's just lying.
13. I didn't have sex doggy-style until I was 34. Can you imagine?! I think I always felt like it would be demeaning somehow? It's not, and I like it very much.
14. My sex is vanilla, but varied. I'd like to explore more. Some things I'd like to try with a future partner: sex in a public place, sex outdoors, light bondage, some light dominance play, incorporating toys. I'd also go for some fantasies/role play depending on what the fella has in mind.
15. A recent partner really wanted to have anal sex. I'm just not really interested. The feeling of fullness associated with this type of penetration only feels good to me up to a point, like beginning and ending at a finger. I won't deny that feels good for a change of pace.
16. I have masturbated since a very young age. I was probably about 11 or 12 when I could identify what I was doing as masturbation. I would sometimes feel guilty, but mostly I just really enjoyed it, and found coming to be kind of soothing. I would look at pictures of celebrities in my Bop magazines. I had fantasies about my junior high crushes too... I don't remember what they were.
17. For years I was exclusively a pillow/blanket/towel humper. In my teens I practiced kissing on my stuffed bear while I masturbated, a foreplay of sorts. I was used to having orgasms while on my belly, and I never touched myself with my fingers—I didn't know what was what down there for a long time. I've always envied that boys could so easily see what they were doing when they masturbated.
18. I started to finger myself in my 20s at some point. It felt good, but humping would still be necessary to get me off. I finally came with my fingers, and on my back, when I was 30 or so. I liked it, and it become my preferred way to come--though I rarely masturbated at that time. When I was on my own again, I purchased a vibrator. I had wanted one since my early 20s, but never had the nerve to let my former boyfriend know about it. Anyway, I got a simple one a year and a half ago, and love it. I don't think I can masturbate without it.
19. A couple of my short term partners wanted to include it in sex, but we never got to it.
20. I really look forward to a future partner to explore with, and have sex with regularly. I do long to connect sexually with someone I care deeply about. I want to give and share with someone in this way. I know I need to be able to share this in my next relationship. I look forward to good, healthy sex.
21. I like sex a little rough. Hence #14, and wanting a little dominance play. I like a partner who feels the desire to fuck the shit out of me in many different positions. Having my hair pulled on, my neck grabbed, being held down, and oh, biting. These are all turn-ons. My nipples are also a direct link to my arousal, a little pinching in addition to licking and sucking, is heaven.
22. I have been told that I am a good kisser, a good snuggler and back scratcher, that I give excellent head, that I am sexy, that my tits are fantastic (I'm self-conscious because they are large), and that my pussy gets very wet, and tight. Maybe all the ladies are told this. I like hearing these things, and maybe I hope all the ladies are told this if it is true. I like hearing about what's turning my partner on.
23. Penis size is usually not an issue to me. A really skinny cock is what I have found to be most disappointing. But even short cocks are fine, it's all about how you use it. As long as his desire is there, and it's hard, I'm happy. Since I haven't mentioned it, and I'm coming up on 25 things, I like jizz. Coming in my mouth is fine. I have no problem swallowing, and feel kind of like a badass when I do. With vaginal sex, I do prefer to have my partner come inside me. I don't like a physical disconnection at that moment. Maybe that's why I swallow.
24. I like receiving oral as much as I like giving. I find 69 distracting though, and I'm not that into it. I like for us both to have individual time. I have found that some men have a hard time just receiving. I don't really understand it. I think they really, really don't want to come off as selfish in bed which I can appreciate, but a lady like me really, really wants the chance to please too.
25. I think going down on a lady is really tricky, as we are all so different. What gets one off every time may absolutely not work, or even irritate another. I don't really like have my clit sucked, actually I think I hate it. I need slow and steady work on my pussy, and I feel like many guys think fast and furious is the answer. I think most porn perpetuates that idea, because in mainstream porn ladies aren't really having their needs met. Maybe fast and flick-y is great for some. Not for me. To orgasm with oral I need time to teach, or luckily just come across a slow one. Having a tongue inside my pussy is divine, but I don't get it much. Just another reason I look forward to that regular sex partner in the future. Readers: This was fun, and this blog is a great idea. Do it! I love reading lists from straight men here--it can be difficult to get this kind of info out of them, and I love reading what they really feel and think about sex.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
a note from the editors
Our queue of posts is empty at the moment; if you've been reading and enjoying the site, but haven't sent us your own list, now would be an excellent time to put one together! And if you have the opportunity to spread the word about this site, we would appreciate it immensely.
If you have sent in a list and it hasn't run, there's a reason for that. Maybe it's blatantly made up; maybe you can't count to 25; maybe Blogger does not permit content that arguably overlaps with something in your list; maybe you're trying to advertise something, or to pick people up here. We do this for free, we don't have a lot of time, and we tend to just hit "delete" rather than patiently explaining what would need to be different. Just don't be a jerk, OK? OK!
Everyone whose list has been published here over the past three years: we are so grateful to you.
If you have sent in a list and it hasn't run, there's a reason for that. Maybe it's blatantly made up; maybe you can't count to 25; maybe Blogger does not permit content that arguably overlaps with something in your list; maybe you're trying to advertise something, or to pick people up here. We do this for free, we don't have a lot of time, and we tend to just hit "delete" rather than patiently explaining what would need to be different. Just don't be a jerk, OK? OK!
Everyone whose list has been published here over the past three years: we are so grateful to you.
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