1. I am a 23-year-old single female who identifies as a heterosexual.
2. Though I identify as heterosexual, I often find women equally as sexually appealing as men. Women have soft, gentle curves and are sensual. Yet men are strong and lean sexy machines.
3. I would like to start dating women as well, just to fulfill my sexual fantasies and desires. Besides, I am pretty fed up with men at the moment.
4, I lost my virginity when I was 20, to my first boyfriend. It wasn't awfully romantic but it was a nice and comfortable experience.
5. I prefer giving partners. My first was a very selfish lover, and just wanted to get in and get out. My second, most recent, was incredibly giving and surprising in the sack.
6. My most recent boyfriend was a quieter guy, and it took us a long time to sleep together. But wow, totally worth the wait. Man, I just miss our awesome sex.
7. I have only slept with two men, both of who I was seriously involved with. I have never slept with anyone I was casually dating and/or just met.
8. I was completely terrified of sexuality in high school. I was just immature and not ready. I am glad I didn't given to the pressures of sex in high school and waited until it was the right time, with the right person.
9. I love sex but I think sex can only be meaningful if it is shared with someone who means something to you.
10. However, that being said, I am not opposed to the experience of a one-night stand. Up until recently, I was completely against the idea. But it could be a liberating, exciting, and adrenaline-filled experience. To have sex with no emotion attached could be special within itself. So i guess that contradicts what I just said.
11. Since I don't sleep around, I instead choose to kiss around. I love love love kissing. I think it's such a simple act, yet soooo satisfying. I would call myself a seasoned kisser. I have made out with probably around 30+ people. I've cut back since graduating college, a ton.
12. Some men think with their penis too much, and others not enough. At least from my experience.
13. I have a secret thing for black men. I am a little white girl but nothing quite turns me on like a strong sexy black man.
14. I first discovered the joys of masturbation by accident. I was 12 or so and swimming in the local pool. I was straddling a noodle pool toy and noticed how stimulating the rub of the noodle felt as I rubbed back and forth on it. I have been masturbating ever since. When I was younger, I was ashamed and embarrassed of it. Not anymore--I think it's great and healthy!
15. My first kiss was when I was 16. It was my aunt's neighbor's son; he was 16 too. It was unfortunately a terrible kiss. It was wet, forced, and quite unlike what I had imagined. And when he tried feeling me up, I slapped his hand away and gave him a lecture on respecting women. Haha! I don't do that anymore.
16. I need foreplay in order to really enjoy and get off during sex. Sometimes I feel like the guy just wants to go for it. Maybe that just means I should just be more vocal.
17. Spanking is tons of fun. I don't get why some people think it's weird. Plus, I love a nice butt. Nothing like a toned ass.
18. If I were to say what type of girl I am into, I would say androgynous skinny or athletic girls.
There is one I see at the coffee shop, and I swear (maybe I am just conceited or wishful) that she is checking me out. Maybe I'll talk to her one of these days.
19. When I was 6 or so, my friend had me dress up in a thong type underwear and we played "husband and wife," I was the husband, I think, and she was the wife. Though my memory is foggy on the details, I am fairly certain she fondled me. I know I felt incredibly violated and uncomfortable after that. I wonder if that has shaped my sexuality in any way since. I don't think I have ever told anyone about that.
20. I am really learning to love my body. All the curves I'd never really payed attention to, the strength of it. I think it's important to have confidence in yourself, and believe you are sexy before someone else really can.
21. I have never had adventurous lovers. The shower is the most exciting place I have had sex. I'd really like to get a bit friskier and do it outside, or a quickie on a lunch break. I think it would be exhilarating!
22. Talking about sex with my girlfriends will always be fun! And I think you can learn so much from sharing!
23. I love oral sex. Both giving and receiving. I have had some wonderful orgasms during oral sex. I don't know if I am very good at giving head, but I am enthusiastic about it and always trying to improve. And it just feels so good to pleasure someone you care about in such an intense way.
24. I have made out drunkenly with a number of girls. All of them friends, and I wasn't turned on at all. Kind of makes me sad, to be honest. They are really beautiful and sexy women!
25. Well, now I am horny and would really like to get laid. By someone cute. Maybe a black guy or a butch girl.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
1. Images of gay sex, kissing and mutual masturbation (both m/m and f/f) really turn me on.
2. Droughts have become a part of my sexual routine. After losing my virginity, I didn’t have sex for three years, then have had one or two year breaks in between partners.
3. I lost my virginity at fourteen, on my bedroom floor whilst drunk, to a seventeen-year-old guy who I knew through a friend. We had sex once more, in the toilet of a friend’s place, again drunk. I barely remember either experience, except that it was painful and I felt self-conscious about being naked.
4. I didn’t enjoy sex until about the eighth time. It wasn’t so much that it was horrible or uncomfortable, just that it never met my expectations. I think my ideas of sex had come from books, where everything seemed so much more meaningful and significant. It was less about romance and more about the animalistic, orgiastic scenes. I was underwhelmed by the reality, and it took me a long time to realize that I needed to take control and ask for what I wanted.
5. I've had sex with three other people before, but found it difficult to coordinate. I'd really like to have a threesome with a guy and another girl.
6. I had a hymen which refused to break. It stretched (painfully) for the first few times, but when I tried to have sex with a guy with a larger penis, the pain was unbearable. In the end, I had to have surgery to remove the extra tissue. Afterwards, I was scared to try again for a while, but got involved with an older woman during this time, and she made the whole experience not only bearable but great.
7. I have been with both men and women, from my age to thirteen years older. I find all the preconceptions around 'bisexuality' really hard to navigate. I'm definitely not 'party-bi', but as I haven't had any long-term relationships with either gender, I don't know that I could really 'choose' either gender to focus on. I have found that men make me feel good at some times, and at other times women turn me on more. I don't want to impose definitions on myself or anyone else, but I have found it really hard to know how to identify. Straight people don't tend to understand that I can be really involved with women, while other gay women tend to assume that I'm just 'playing gay'. If anything, gay men have been the most accepting friends in my life.
8. The anti-depressants that I take made it extremely difficult to have an orgasm for a couple of years. Eventually I asked my doctor to change the medication – a total lack of orgasm made me feel more depressed. Since then, I have often reached climax much faster than my partners have.
9. I don't think I've ever really been in love. In lust, maybe, but I don't think it was ever love.
10. I saw ‘Holy Smoke’ as a twelve-year-old. I have often thought of it during sex and masturbation. Although I don’t often fantasise about rape, there is something I find enthralling about power balances within sexual relationships. The scene where Kate Winslet is standing naked in the desert and wets herself seems to be branded onto my brain. She is so gorgeous - delicate and emotionally devastated, yet with this amazing strength and glow.
11. I’ve never had a relationship longer than two months, either sexual and/or emotional. As soon as I realize that I actually like someone, my expectations of them change, and I freeze up. It’s often the same with purely sexual relationships - when I begin to really enjoy myself and feel comfortable, I tend to pull away in order to avoid becoming emotionally involved.
12. I have unsafe sex despite knowing better. I think it's some sort of personal test, like I need to prove something to myself. I get tested really regularly, to the point where my doctor asked if I was doing sex work.
13. I prefer photographic erotica and pornography, rather than video or audio porn. I feel more sensitive to auditory "faking," and I like to imagine those parts of the fantasy in my own way.
14. I recently had the morning-after pill for the first time. I had always been vigilant about taking the Pill, but stopped recently without any real reason. When he asked me where he should come, I said I wanted him to do it inside me. Late the next day, I realised that it could have been a life-changing moment and that I needed to reverse it.
15. With female partners, I have never given oral sex. I have received it but none of the other women have wanted me to do it for them. I want to try though, because I find vaginas so enticing. There's something about the fleshy softness of them, I hope that I can taste and touch one/them in the near future. I find penises quite repulsive and struggle to work out how to stimulate them properly. Giving head disgusts me and I don't have the gag reflex to do it for long. Generally I don't offer it, or I deflect requests.
16. I've only recently begun using a vibrator, but have bought several sex toys since. I'm keen to try a strap-on with a female partner, both giving and receiving. I'd love to feel like I was really 'fucking' a girl, in a different way.
17. I love having sex in the morning, but always feel self-conscious about having smelly breath.
18. I love to be fucked by men but sometimes want to be the one doing the fucking.
19. I did a nude photo shoot recently for an erotic website. I've also been in touch with another company who might sign me up to do some more detailed shoots. I really enjoyed the first shoot because I took the photos myself, but I'm nervous about doing the shoot with photographers. Although I feel quite comfortable in my own body, I'm not much of a performer and would hate to 'pose' for porn - I want to do more creative, erotic work, like in vintage modelling shoots. It's the type of erotica that I enjoy, where my imagination has to kick in to complete the fantasy, rather than having it all handed to me on a platter.
20. I really want to fuck a pre-op transgender (f-m).
21. I've discovered ben-wa balls. I love to have them in during the day while running errands such as shopping, and being quietly turned on around other people. Sitting down on the tram can make me insanely horny with the right help!
22. The guy I'm sleeping with at the moment talks dirty to me, but it's so subtle and sincere, I have never found anything like that so sexy before.
23. Close friends have always seen me as being a very sexual person, but long periods of celibacy mean that sometimes I don't think about sex for months. It seems to be a cycle which has developed, where after about 3 months of not even thinking about sex, I'll have a dream which suddenly triggers several weeks of highly sexual thoughts, behaviours and activities. Then I might drift back into a non-sexual period again.
24. Ever since I was about sixteen, I've had a strong drive to have children. I have just had intense feelings of needing to procreate, experience a child growing within me, give birth and breastfeed. At times I have been tempted to fall pregnant, to go for it, but then something happens and I find a way to switch off the impulse. I think my maternal instincts are quite closely linked with my sexuality.
25. I love pain, but bruise easily. Sometimes I can have marks from sex on my body for a couple of weeks.
2. Droughts have become a part of my sexual routine. After losing my virginity, I didn’t have sex for three years, then have had one or two year breaks in between partners.
3. I lost my virginity at fourteen, on my bedroom floor whilst drunk, to a seventeen-year-old guy who I knew through a friend. We had sex once more, in the toilet of a friend’s place, again drunk. I barely remember either experience, except that it was painful and I felt self-conscious about being naked.
4. I didn’t enjoy sex until about the eighth time. It wasn’t so much that it was horrible or uncomfortable, just that it never met my expectations. I think my ideas of sex had come from books, where everything seemed so much more meaningful and significant. It was less about romance and more about the animalistic, orgiastic scenes. I was underwhelmed by the reality, and it took me a long time to realize that I needed to take control and ask for what I wanted.
5. I've had sex with three other people before, but found it difficult to coordinate. I'd really like to have a threesome with a guy and another girl.
6. I had a hymen which refused to break. It stretched (painfully) for the first few times, but when I tried to have sex with a guy with a larger penis, the pain was unbearable. In the end, I had to have surgery to remove the extra tissue. Afterwards, I was scared to try again for a while, but got involved with an older woman during this time, and she made the whole experience not only bearable but great.
7. I have been with both men and women, from my age to thirteen years older. I find all the preconceptions around 'bisexuality' really hard to navigate. I'm definitely not 'party-bi', but as I haven't had any long-term relationships with either gender, I don't know that I could really 'choose' either gender to focus on. I have found that men make me feel good at some times, and at other times women turn me on more. I don't want to impose definitions on myself or anyone else, but I have found it really hard to know how to identify. Straight people don't tend to understand that I can be really involved with women, while other gay women tend to assume that I'm just 'playing gay'. If anything, gay men have been the most accepting friends in my life.
8. The anti-depressants that I take made it extremely difficult to have an orgasm for a couple of years. Eventually I asked my doctor to change the medication – a total lack of orgasm made me feel more depressed. Since then, I have often reached climax much faster than my partners have.
9. I don't think I've ever really been in love. In lust, maybe, but I don't think it was ever love.
10. I saw ‘Holy Smoke’ as a twelve-year-old. I have often thought of it during sex and masturbation. Although I don’t often fantasise about rape, there is something I find enthralling about power balances within sexual relationships. The scene where Kate Winslet is standing naked in the desert and wets herself seems to be branded onto my brain. She is so gorgeous - delicate and emotionally devastated, yet with this amazing strength and glow.
11. I’ve never had a relationship longer than two months, either sexual and/or emotional. As soon as I realize that I actually like someone, my expectations of them change, and I freeze up. It’s often the same with purely sexual relationships - when I begin to really enjoy myself and feel comfortable, I tend to pull away in order to avoid becoming emotionally involved.
12. I have unsafe sex despite knowing better. I think it's some sort of personal test, like I need to prove something to myself. I get tested really regularly, to the point where my doctor asked if I was doing sex work.
13. I prefer photographic erotica and pornography, rather than video or audio porn. I feel more sensitive to auditory "faking," and I like to imagine those parts of the fantasy in my own way.
14. I recently had the morning-after pill for the first time. I had always been vigilant about taking the Pill, but stopped recently without any real reason. When he asked me where he should come, I said I wanted him to do it inside me. Late the next day, I realised that it could have been a life-changing moment and that I needed to reverse it.
15. With female partners, I have never given oral sex. I have received it but none of the other women have wanted me to do it for them. I want to try though, because I find vaginas so enticing. There's something about the fleshy softness of them, I hope that I can taste and touch one/them in the near future. I find penises quite repulsive and struggle to work out how to stimulate them properly. Giving head disgusts me and I don't have the gag reflex to do it for long. Generally I don't offer it, or I deflect requests.
16. I've only recently begun using a vibrator, but have bought several sex toys since. I'm keen to try a strap-on with a female partner, both giving and receiving. I'd love to feel like I was really 'fucking' a girl, in a different way.
17. I love having sex in the morning, but always feel self-conscious about having smelly breath.
18. I love to be fucked by men but sometimes want to be the one doing the fucking.
19. I did a nude photo shoot recently for an erotic website. I've also been in touch with another company who might sign me up to do some more detailed shoots. I really enjoyed the first shoot because I took the photos myself, but I'm nervous about doing the shoot with photographers. Although I feel quite comfortable in my own body, I'm not much of a performer and would hate to 'pose' for porn - I want to do more creative, erotic work, like in vintage modelling shoots. It's the type of erotica that I enjoy, where my imagination has to kick in to complete the fantasy, rather than having it all handed to me on a platter.
20. I really want to fuck a pre-op transgender (f-m).
21. I've discovered ben-wa balls. I love to have them in during the day while running errands such as shopping, and being quietly turned on around other people. Sitting down on the tram can make me insanely horny with the right help!
22. The guy I'm sleeping with at the moment talks dirty to me, but it's so subtle and sincere, I have never found anything like that so sexy before.
23. Close friends have always seen me as being a very sexual person, but long periods of celibacy mean that sometimes I don't think about sex for months. It seems to be a cycle which has developed, where after about 3 months of not even thinking about sex, I'll have a dream which suddenly triggers several weeks of highly sexual thoughts, behaviours and activities. Then I might drift back into a non-sexual period again.
24. Ever since I was about sixteen, I've had a strong drive to have children. I have just had intense feelings of needing to procreate, experience a child growing within me, give birth and breastfeed. At times I have been tempted to fall pregnant, to go for it, but then something happens and I find a way to switch off the impulse. I think my maternal instincts are quite closely linked with my sexuality.
25. I love pain, but bruise easily. Sometimes I can have marks from sex on my body for a couple of weeks.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
1. I have masturbated to orgasm in several novel locations, including my desk at work, a doctor’s examination table, and my seat on an airplane.
2. When I was 8, I had a spotty understanding of sex. I thought sex meant lying down with a friend and holding/caressing/tickling them. It didn’t occur to me that the gender of the friend was meaningful. Using this definition, I asked my friend Marie to “have sex with me” and she said yes.
3. I’m a 26 year old woman. The oldest person I’ve gone on a date with was 60ish. We never became sexual, but not for lack of interest on my part.
4. I love giving head and am very proud of the many compliments I've received. I don't think I'm so great in the performance sense (like not having a gag reflex). I'm just honestly enthusiastic about it and receptive to my partner's signals. I hope to become just as good at cunnilingus before long.
5. Smart is damn sexy. The only time when being smart can be a problem is when a person gets totally wrapped up in their intellect and can’t connect with their sensual, emotional center.
6. I’ve never had an orgasm from PIV sex unless I was stimulating my clit at the same time, but I do have a special place in my heart for the orgasms I’ve had that way. Having my vagina filled with my lover’s cock seems to “expand” my climax.
7. I rarely come from cunnilingus but I still love it! Especially when being fingered at the same time.
8. I’m totally not a size queen. If anything, a more modestly sized cock is a more pleasurable fit for me. And if a given hetero couple is mismatched, there’s room to negotiate (I imagine this is true for gay men too).
9. I once encountered this "Touch the Art" booth. There were three holes, roughly at shoulder, chest, and hip height. You were instructed to reach into these dark holes and feel the art. When you did so, you found a person, usually in some state of undress. I wanted to be the "art" right away. Having those disembodied hands run over my body, playing with my clit through my panties…it was one of the hottest experiences of my life.
10. I can imagine scenarios where I would have sex for money but I haven’t pursued it.
11. I first tried masturbating when I was 12 or so but couldn’t figure it out. I was focusing on my vagina. A couple years later I found my clit and had my first orgasm. I remember thinking “WHOA. What the hell was THAT?!”
12. I’ve had a few opportunities to finger a lover in the ass or perform rimming. I’d like to do more of that. I’m also really interested in trying strap-on sex, with women and men, active and receptive. Oh, except I’m not interested in being receptive anally.
13. I am at my wettest and most aroused following a few hours involving cuddling leading to making out leading to fondling, especially with someone new.
14. Speaking of that, I find that the connection between my wetness and arousal level to be inconsistent. I think it takes a while for my natural lube production to catch up with the rest of me. So I can definitely be aroused and not all that wet.
15. I have a tattoo on my neck. Half the reason I got it is because it makes kissing my neck damn near irresistible and that’s how I like it.
16. I’ve had a threesome and would be up for trying it again. My first impression is that I would rather not be the center of attention next time. I found it less erotic trying to divide my attention between two lovers.
17. I would really like to learn how to squirt.
18. I have never faked an orgasm and can’t imagine why I would.
19. I once made a Beautiful Agony-influenced video (that is, a video of me masturbating but only showing my face and chest) for my lover’s birthday.
20. Ideally, I’d have sex ~4 times per week. I’m not getting my appetite met right now.
21. I enjoy seeing my reflection in a mirror while I’m having sex.
22. I like being handled roughly in bed but do not enjoy the psychological aspects of domination.
23. A few times, my lover has slid their hand up my skirt and fondled me while I was driving. I loved it.
24. My ribs are more of an erogenous zone than my breasts.
25. Sex with me is often interrupted by conversation and laughter.
2. When I was 8, I had a spotty understanding of sex. I thought sex meant lying down with a friend and holding/caressing/tickling them. It didn’t occur to me that the gender of the friend was meaningful. Using this definition, I asked my friend Marie to “have sex with me” and she said yes.
3. I’m a 26 year old woman. The oldest person I’ve gone on a date with was 60ish. We never became sexual, but not for lack of interest on my part.
4. I love giving head and am very proud of the many compliments I've received. I don't think I'm so great in the performance sense (like not having a gag reflex). I'm just honestly enthusiastic about it and receptive to my partner's signals. I hope to become just as good at cunnilingus before long.
5. Smart is damn sexy. The only time when being smart can be a problem is when a person gets totally wrapped up in their intellect and can’t connect with their sensual, emotional center.
6. I’ve never had an orgasm from PIV sex unless I was stimulating my clit at the same time, but I do have a special place in my heart for the orgasms I’ve had that way. Having my vagina filled with my lover’s cock seems to “expand” my climax.
7. I rarely come from cunnilingus but I still love it! Especially when being fingered at the same time.
8. I’m totally not a size queen. If anything, a more modestly sized cock is a more pleasurable fit for me. And if a given hetero couple is mismatched, there’s room to negotiate (I imagine this is true for gay men too).
9. I once encountered this "Touch the Art" booth. There were three holes, roughly at shoulder, chest, and hip height. You were instructed to reach into these dark holes and feel the art. When you did so, you found a person, usually in some state of undress. I wanted to be the "art" right away. Having those disembodied hands run over my body, playing with my clit through my panties…it was one of the hottest experiences of my life.
10. I can imagine scenarios where I would have sex for money but I haven’t pursued it.
11. I first tried masturbating when I was 12 or so but couldn’t figure it out. I was focusing on my vagina. A couple years later I found my clit and had my first orgasm. I remember thinking “WHOA. What the hell was THAT?!”
12. I’ve had a few opportunities to finger a lover in the ass or perform rimming. I’d like to do more of that. I’m also really interested in trying strap-on sex, with women and men, active and receptive. Oh, except I’m not interested in being receptive anally.
13. I am at my wettest and most aroused following a few hours involving cuddling leading to making out leading to fondling, especially with someone new.
14. Speaking of that, I find that the connection between my wetness and arousal level to be inconsistent. I think it takes a while for my natural lube production to catch up with the rest of me. So I can definitely be aroused and not all that wet.
15. I have a tattoo on my neck. Half the reason I got it is because it makes kissing my neck damn near irresistible and that’s how I like it.
16. I’ve had a threesome and would be up for trying it again. My first impression is that I would rather not be the center of attention next time. I found it less erotic trying to divide my attention between two lovers.
17. I would really like to learn how to squirt.
18. I have never faked an orgasm and can’t imagine why I would.
19. I once made a Beautiful Agony-influenced video (that is, a video of me masturbating but only showing my face and chest) for my lover’s birthday.
20. Ideally, I’d have sex ~4 times per week. I’m not getting my appetite met right now.
21. I enjoy seeing my reflection in a mirror while I’m having sex.
22. I like being handled roughly in bed but do not enjoy the psychological aspects of domination.
23. A few times, my lover has slid their hand up my skirt and fondled me while I was driving. I loved it.
24. My ribs are more of an erogenous zone than my breasts.
25. Sex with me is often interrupted by conversation and laughter.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
1. I have an amazing mother; I think I get my positive attitude about sex from her. She explained sex to me as a natural, biological process and has always been supportive of me expressing my sexuality safely.
2. When I told her me and my boyfriend were doing more then kissing she just wanted to know if I needed condoms. Having her nonchalant approval really boosted my confidence and made me feel empowered. I fully realized that I am in control of my own sexuality and can do whatever is best for me.
3. I'm absolutely terrified about getting pregnant, probably because I was the result of an unplanned pregnancy. I'm lucky because my boyfriend is understanding of this and careful. If/when I have sex I am totally going on the pill. (Thank you feminist movement for all the wonderful options I have.)
4. Paradoxically, I'm very open to sex but very picky about who I date and fool around with. I think that it makes sense to have sex for a variety of reasons and after knowing your partner for a variety of times. I also have no moral hang ups about experiencing pleasure. At the same time I need to be completely and absolutely comfortable with my partner and with the situation.
5. For this reason I've only done anything with three guys. #1 I dated briefly. We were really incompatible, but I learned a lot about what I didn't want. A couple years latter we're now good friends. #2 I had a one-night make out/grope session with at a diversity conference. We had the same sense of humor and he liked me for exactly who I was. I had fun and learned a lot about what I do want. #3 is my current boyfriend. We're in love and also totally bros, which I need. He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.
6. I'm very attracted to both girls and boys. However, I hate the label bisexual. I don't know why either. I mean being bisexual is perfectly legitimate in my mind and I admire many bisexual activists. I just can't deal with the label.
7. Girls I just plain am attracted to. I like the way they look, smell, feel, talk, think. I would love to be physical with the right girl. I've had some very very intense crushes, but they've all turned out to be incompatible with me for one reason or another so nothing has ever happened.
8. Boys I have a much more complicated relationship with. I don't find most guys (even ones commonly thought to be hot) very attractive, though I am often extremely attracted to individual guys. Also I'm much more inhibited when it comes to being romantic or physical with guys because I can't conform to heteronormative relationship dynamics. I need a guy who gives me as much independence as I want, treats me as a complete and total equal, and accepts my more masculine personality traits. This is a lot harder to come by then one might think. Many of my best guy friends are willing to accept me doing exactly what I want and treat me as an equal because I'm a friend, yet with their girlfriends (who they respect very much and treat well) there's a different type of dynamic.
9. I'm also very open to being with someone who is gender-queer, trans, or anyone who doesn't fit perfectly with the gender binary. I believe that sex and gender are very personal and accept however people express themselves. I also find people who don't conform to gender roles very attractive, even if they do it just a little bit and in subtle ways and especially if they are very comfortable with themselves.
10. I hate hate hate having to conform or follow social rules. This means, though, that I'm just as ambivalent towards countercultures (like the gay community) as I am mainstream culture. Countercultures usually have their own rules designed to keep one from being "too normal" that are just as constraining. I'm my own mix of "normal" and "weird."
11. I'm really lucky in that my two best girl friends are very open and supportive when it comes to talking about sex. One is completely inexperienced but is into porn, slash fiction, and thinking about the theory and social implication of sex. We go on feminist rants together and talk about what it means to be sex positive. My other friend has a much more traditional view of sex and relationships then I do, but she is also open and non-judgmental of other ways of being. She got a serious boyfriend about the same time I did so we share all our experiences with dating and being physical.
12. I love masturbating! I see it as a very positive activity. It helps me sleep, makes me happier, and is a way I can be nice to myself. I have a personal mission to make female masturbation as a normal, positive activity visible by being honest about my own activities. In practice, most of this campaign involves making jokes that imply that I masturbate.
13. I love the way my boyfriend treats me. He never treats me like I'm delicate. He never gets overprotective or even protective, which I really like. He doesn't go all chivalrous and lets me carry my own heavy stuff and pay my own way. Before we were going out we used to mock fight and wrestle (in a non sexual way) and we still do that. At the same time he emotionally takes care of me really well. I'm much more excitable and angsty then he is (he is one of the most happy, steady people I know.) He calms me down and cheers me up. He know tons of little ways to make me smile and be kind to me and uses them.
14. I love my body. Sometimes I get body image hell, but usually I can talk myself out of it.
15. Despite this I've always been a little hung up that I have A-cup size boobs. I've always thought "Well I have nice boobs for the size they are." My boyfriend really, really likes my boobs, which has really helped me with this issue. He's pointed out that they're proportional to the rest of my body (I'm 5 foot 1 and 100 pounds) and that shape is just as important as size.
16. I love having my boobs played with, which works out well since my boyfriend likes playing with them. If I'm relaxed I can have an orgasm just trom them being played with.
17. My boyfriend is really affectionate and cuddly, but doesn't PDA too much. I love the feeling of
just being curled up with him. He smells really good and I feel safe and warm and comfortable.
18. Almost everything I've done sexually with my boyfriend we've had a time doing it that didn't work. We jokingly kissed a few months before we started going out (we had a very flirty friendship). The first time he touched my boobs I got really scared and he said he was sorry and stopped. The first time we fingered one another it was too intense and we both flipped out afterwards.
19. This actually hasn't been a problem, though, because we're really good at communicating. He's extremely respectful of my boundaries, and I'm respectful of what his feelings and opinions are. The best thing I think about having a boyfriend who's a friend is getting to talk about sex. We rehash our fun times together, talk about masturbating and porn, discuss what emotionally is going on, and what we like to do or think might feel good.
20. I like the way my boyfriend treats my body. He's really atrracted to me and very interested in sex, and he communicates this in a way that's sweet and friendly instead of possive or threatening. He takes things slowly and is in tune with how I'm feeling. He's respectful but also very playful. He can be a huge tease, often tickles me, and says funny things.
21. I love how reciprocal fooling around with my boyfriend is. We both enjoy when the other is having a good time, and like being the active one when fooling around. I love the way his skin feels and just getting to explore his body.
22. I'm completely okay witht the idea of porn but I've never watched it. The idea of watching people have sex just doesn't appeal to me. I do fantasize a lot, however. I love seeing sexy things in my mind; I just also like being able to control exactly what is happening. Also, the knowledge that my boyfriend watches porn and can be honest with me about it really turns me on.
23. I love kissing a variety of ways. Long, short, soft, hard, tongue, no tongue, lots of tongue, silly, romantic, can all be satisfying and exciting in the right context.
24. I'm almost completely silent when I masturbate but am really noisy when I fool around. I'm not particularly loud I just make lots of different types of noises and once I get really turned on I keep making noises pretty steadily.
25. I like happy, smiley, sweet sexy things. I love the feeling of smiling while fooling around and looking at my boyfriend and seeing the same look reflected back at me.
2. When I told her me and my boyfriend were doing more then kissing she just wanted to know if I needed condoms. Having her nonchalant approval really boosted my confidence and made me feel empowered. I fully realized that I am in control of my own sexuality and can do whatever is best for me.
3. I'm absolutely terrified about getting pregnant, probably because I was the result of an unplanned pregnancy. I'm lucky because my boyfriend is understanding of this and careful. If/when I have sex I am totally going on the pill. (Thank you feminist movement for all the wonderful options I have.)
4. Paradoxically, I'm very open to sex but very picky about who I date and fool around with. I think that it makes sense to have sex for a variety of reasons and after knowing your partner for a variety of times. I also have no moral hang ups about experiencing pleasure. At the same time I need to be completely and absolutely comfortable with my partner and with the situation.
5. For this reason I've only done anything with three guys. #1 I dated briefly. We were really incompatible, but I learned a lot about what I didn't want. A couple years latter we're now good friends. #2 I had a one-night make out/grope session with at a diversity conference. We had the same sense of humor and he liked me for exactly who I was. I had fun and learned a lot about what I do want. #3 is my current boyfriend. We're in love and also totally bros, which I need. He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.
6. I'm very attracted to both girls and boys. However, I hate the label bisexual. I don't know why either. I mean being bisexual is perfectly legitimate in my mind and I admire many bisexual activists. I just can't deal with the label.
7. Girls I just plain am attracted to. I like the way they look, smell, feel, talk, think. I would love to be physical with the right girl. I've had some very very intense crushes, but they've all turned out to be incompatible with me for one reason or another so nothing has ever happened.
8. Boys I have a much more complicated relationship with. I don't find most guys (even ones commonly thought to be hot) very attractive, though I am often extremely attracted to individual guys. Also I'm much more inhibited when it comes to being romantic or physical with guys because I can't conform to heteronormative relationship dynamics. I need a guy who gives me as much independence as I want, treats me as a complete and total equal, and accepts my more masculine personality traits. This is a lot harder to come by then one might think. Many of my best guy friends are willing to accept me doing exactly what I want and treat me as an equal because I'm a friend, yet with their girlfriends (who they respect very much and treat well) there's a different type of dynamic.
9. I'm also very open to being with someone who is gender-queer, trans, or anyone who doesn't fit perfectly with the gender binary. I believe that sex and gender are very personal and accept however people express themselves. I also find people who don't conform to gender roles very attractive, even if they do it just a little bit and in subtle ways and especially if they are very comfortable with themselves.
10. I hate hate hate having to conform or follow social rules. This means, though, that I'm just as ambivalent towards countercultures (like the gay community) as I am mainstream culture. Countercultures usually have their own rules designed to keep one from being "too normal" that are just as constraining. I'm my own mix of "normal" and "weird."
11. I'm really lucky in that my two best girl friends are very open and supportive when it comes to talking about sex. One is completely inexperienced but is into porn, slash fiction, and thinking about the theory and social implication of sex. We go on feminist rants together and talk about what it means to be sex positive. My other friend has a much more traditional view of sex and relationships then I do, but she is also open and non-judgmental of other ways of being. She got a serious boyfriend about the same time I did so we share all our experiences with dating and being physical.
12. I love masturbating! I see it as a very positive activity. It helps me sleep, makes me happier, and is a way I can be nice to myself. I have a personal mission to make female masturbation as a normal, positive activity visible by being honest about my own activities. In practice, most of this campaign involves making jokes that imply that I masturbate.
13. I love the way my boyfriend treats me. He never treats me like I'm delicate. He never gets overprotective or even protective, which I really like. He doesn't go all chivalrous and lets me carry my own heavy stuff and pay my own way. Before we were going out we used to mock fight and wrestle (in a non sexual way) and we still do that. At the same time he emotionally takes care of me really well. I'm much more excitable and angsty then he is (he is one of the most happy, steady people I know.) He calms me down and cheers me up. He know tons of little ways to make me smile and be kind to me and uses them.
14. I love my body. Sometimes I get body image hell, but usually I can talk myself out of it.
15. Despite this I've always been a little hung up that I have A-cup size boobs. I've always thought "Well I have nice boobs for the size they are." My boyfriend really, really likes my boobs, which has really helped me with this issue. He's pointed out that they're proportional to the rest of my body (I'm 5 foot 1 and 100 pounds) and that shape is just as important as size.
16. I love having my boobs played with, which works out well since my boyfriend likes playing with them. If I'm relaxed I can have an orgasm just trom them being played with.
17. My boyfriend is really affectionate and cuddly, but doesn't PDA too much. I love the feeling of
just being curled up with him. He smells really good and I feel safe and warm and comfortable.
18. Almost everything I've done sexually with my boyfriend we've had a time doing it that didn't work. We jokingly kissed a few months before we started going out (we had a very flirty friendship). The first time he touched my boobs I got really scared and he said he was sorry and stopped. The first time we fingered one another it was too intense and we both flipped out afterwards.
19. This actually hasn't been a problem, though, because we're really good at communicating. He's extremely respectful of my boundaries, and I'm respectful of what his feelings and opinions are. The best thing I think about having a boyfriend who's a friend is getting to talk about sex. We rehash our fun times together, talk about masturbating and porn, discuss what emotionally is going on, and what we like to do or think might feel good.
20. I like the way my boyfriend treats my body. He's really atrracted to me and very interested in sex, and he communicates this in a way that's sweet and friendly instead of possive or threatening. He takes things slowly and is in tune with how I'm feeling. He's respectful but also very playful. He can be a huge tease, often tickles me, and says funny things.
21. I love how reciprocal fooling around with my boyfriend is. We both enjoy when the other is having a good time, and like being the active one when fooling around. I love the way his skin feels and just getting to explore his body.
22. I'm completely okay witht the idea of porn but I've never watched it. The idea of watching people have sex just doesn't appeal to me. I do fantasize a lot, however. I love seeing sexy things in my mind; I just also like being able to control exactly what is happening. Also, the knowledge that my boyfriend watches porn and can be honest with me about it really turns me on.
23. I love kissing a variety of ways. Long, short, soft, hard, tongue, no tongue, lots of tongue, silly, romantic, can all be satisfying and exciting in the right context.
24. I'm almost completely silent when I masturbate but am really noisy when I fool around. I'm not particularly loud I just make lots of different types of noises and once I get really turned on I keep making noises pretty steadily.
25. I like happy, smiley, sweet sexy things. I love the feeling of smiling while fooling around and looking at my boyfriend and seeing the same look reflected back at me.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
1. I just had a one night stand a few days ago. I went out with this guy for drinks, only wanting to be friends. He was short, older, and just OK. At the end of the night we were walking in a park and he suddenly started touching my tits and making out with me. I slept with him to bolster my ego because the day before I had been brutally rejected by a guy I really liked. I was so hurt. So I went back to short guy’s apartment. He attacked my tits. He put my hand on his cock, which was BIG. He fingered me for a long time. He was really really good but I didn’t come. Then I got on top of him, he kept saying “Now fuck me, fuck me.” Then he got on top and fucked me so hard I bled when I was in the bathroom later. Top, bottom, top, bottom, sucking his cock, then he came. I didn’t. It wasn’t amazing, but it was OK. It was sweet. We laughed and talked. No pressure, nothing bad about it. We started talking about fantasies. When I told him I had a “Daddy” fantasy, he got so excited and hard and worked up he practically mauled me. He got behind me, he was so turned on, and said “Get on all fours, now!” He fucked me from behind, I was moaning and moaning into the pillow, and he came again. I didn’t. When I left I just laughed and he laughed. We knew we’d never see each other again. The next day I had bruises and bite marks on my tits, I was soooo sore, and my thighs ached.
2. I swear I have never been with a guy who had less than an 8 inch cock. Total coincidence. I always end up with guys with big dicks.
3. The guy who rejected me was married, because I have a total thing for married men. I wanted an affair with him so bad. When I see men on the train I will get wet and hot and horny if I see they have a wedding ring. I’ve had one other affair with a married guy and it was hot. We used to fantasize about his wife walking in and catching us and we just keep going and we both come in front of him, him while looking in her eyes.
4. I think this is twisted and I need to go to therapy for it.
5. One thing I’ve learned about sex is that men love—LOVE!—to hear women’s fantasies. It turns them on sooo much. I think even if you’re not super-attractive, having a great hot sexy wild fantasy life counts for a LOT. A lot of people, women and men, are total boring blobs!
6. I think sex is just as important, if not more so, than love. I don’t know how many miserable marriages I’ve seen where they still love each other, but they have no passion for each other. If I ever get married, it won’t be for love! I’ll get married only if it’s the hottest, horniest, sexiest thing me and my partner can think to do!
7. I love men. Love, love, love, love, love them. I love their armpits. I love their asses. I love how they smell. I love their hands. I love horny horny horny horndogs. I love the way some men stand with their hips out, cock front and center. I love men who love women! Men’s craving and desire for women turns me on. I love a man who needs a woman bad. The only kind of man I don’t really like is the intellectual type. The closer you are to a caveman, the better.
8. It is VERY hard for me to come with a partner, and it takes forever.
9. To me there are two distinct types of orgasm: the clitoral and the vaginal. I only had the clit kind for years and years and years. Then I kept trying with a dildo to have the other kind. Hello! When I finally did, it was a revelation! Whoah! It’s much harder, takes work, but Jesus….
10. To me the deep, vaginal orgasm you can only get from a cock pounding you is very mental. It takes a certain amount of thought and emotional opening up to get there. At least for me. It’s so female. It makes me feel so womanly, like obscenely womanly. Like a craven female with no need or desire other than this cock inside her. You have to really open up and let go and accept this man’s domination over your body for a moment. I know many women who have never had this kind and don’t have a clue what I’m talking about.
11. I have lots of domination fantasies. Nothing extreme or painful or weird. Just being ordered around, told what to do, giving up control completely. I want to be told when to come and when not to come.
12. I met a man online who did this for me once. He was a “Master” and I absolutely refused to meet him, but we did this thing online and on the phone. He told me when to come. He forbade me to masturbate for a week. By the end I was a wreck, but it turned me on SO MUCH to do this for him!
13. I once had sex on top of a tombstone in a graveyard at night.
14. I have big, nice boobs that men love, but they do absolutely nothing for me. WTF? I don’t dislike having them played with, but I know some women who can come just from that. They’re pretty much wasted on me.
15. I have a fantasy of me being seduced by a priest, and then being made the fuck slave/cum slut of three priests where I have to do anything they want and they use me in any way they want.
16. I think being fit, athletic, and healthy with a great body is the sexiest thing in the world. People who have to sweat and work for it, not people just blessed with amazing genes.
17. I have been fat and obese in the past. I think being fat is a way to avoid sex. And that it also means you have a totally wicked, perverted, wild craving for tons of sex that you are not living out. Who, her? Why, no one would think she wants to be brutally fucked in the ass! I think former fatties are totally wild in the sack.
18. I love anal--in the right circumstances only. When you don’t feel like it, it just hurts. But every once in a while, I don’t want regular sex. I actually feel a need to have a cock in my ass. Nothing makes me wetter, nothing. I’ve never come from it, but I love it.
19. The married guy I wanted the affair with had a fantasy of fucking a woman who was wearing his wife’s wedding veil.
20. My favorite place to have sex is outside. I love being naked outdoors! I feel like Adam and Eve.
21. I have a fantasy of having one man fuck me on a stage while a whole auditorium full of horny men watch. Especially watch me cum.
22. You’d be surprised at how many women who’ve been married their whole lives have never had an orgasm or enjoyed sex.
23. Men love their own cum. I don’t know how many guys I’ve met have a fantasy of cumming all over a women--on her face, her tits, ass, everywhere. Then fucking her with their cum still all over her.
24. I’m a lot older than a lot of girls on this site, and I want to say to all of them: don’t feel bad about anything. Sex gets better for women as you get older and it’s a much slower process than just jumping in the sack and fucking. Women are different than men!
25. Talking hardcore about sex is fun, but it’s not the be-all and end-all. In a way I feel like an impostor. All of this is true, but I’m a lot shyer and quieter in person. This is kind of my alter ego.
2. I swear I have never been with a guy who had less than an 8 inch cock. Total coincidence. I always end up with guys with big dicks.
3. The guy who rejected me was married, because I have a total thing for married men. I wanted an affair with him so bad. When I see men on the train I will get wet and hot and horny if I see they have a wedding ring. I’ve had one other affair with a married guy and it was hot. We used to fantasize about his wife walking in and catching us and we just keep going and we both come in front of him, him while looking in her eyes.
4. I think this is twisted and I need to go to therapy for it.
5. One thing I’ve learned about sex is that men love—LOVE!—to hear women’s fantasies. It turns them on sooo much. I think even if you’re not super-attractive, having a great hot sexy wild fantasy life counts for a LOT. A lot of people, women and men, are total boring blobs!
6. I think sex is just as important, if not more so, than love. I don’t know how many miserable marriages I’ve seen where they still love each other, but they have no passion for each other. If I ever get married, it won’t be for love! I’ll get married only if it’s the hottest, horniest, sexiest thing me and my partner can think to do!
7. I love men. Love, love, love, love, love them. I love their armpits. I love their asses. I love how they smell. I love their hands. I love horny horny horny horndogs. I love the way some men stand with their hips out, cock front and center. I love men who love women! Men’s craving and desire for women turns me on. I love a man who needs a woman bad. The only kind of man I don’t really like is the intellectual type. The closer you are to a caveman, the better.
8. It is VERY hard for me to come with a partner, and it takes forever.
9. To me there are two distinct types of orgasm: the clitoral and the vaginal. I only had the clit kind for years and years and years. Then I kept trying with a dildo to have the other kind. Hello! When I finally did, it was a revelation! Whoah! It’s much harder, takes work, but Jesus….
10. To me the deep, vaginal orgasm you can only get from a cock pounding you is very mental. It takes a certain amount of thought and emotional opening up to get there. At least for me. It’s so female. It makes me feel so womanly, like obscenely womanly. Like a craven female with no need or desire other than this cock inside her. You have to really open up and let go and accept this man’s domination over your body for a moment. I know many women who have never had this kind and don’t have a clue what I’m talking about.
11. I have lots of domination fantasies. Nothing extreme or painful or weird. Just being ordered around, told what to do, giving up control completely. I want to be told when to come and when not to come.
12. I met a man online who did this for me once. He was a “Master” and I absolutely refused to meet him, but we did this thing online and on the phone. He told me when to come. He forbade me to masturbate for a week. By the end I was a wreck, but it turned me on SO MUCH to do this for him!
13. I once had sex on top of a tombstone in a graveyard at night.
14. I have big, nice boobs that men love, but they do absolutely nothing for me. WTF? I don’t dislike having them played with, but I know some women who can come just from that. They’re pretty much wasted on me.
15. I have a fantasy of me being seduced by a priest, and then being made the fuck slave/cum slut of three priests where I have to do anything they want and they use me in any way they want.
16. I think being fit, athletic, and healthy with a great body is the sexiest thing in the world. People who have to sweat and work for it, not people just blessed with amazing genes.
17. I have been fat and obese in the past. I think being fat is a way to avoid sex. And that it also means you have a totally wicked, perverted, wild craving for tons of sex that you are not living out. Who, her? Why, no one would think she wants to be brutally fucked in the ass! I think former fatties are totally wild in the sack.
18. I love anal--in the right circumstances only. When you don’t feel like it, it just hurts. But every once in a while, I don’t want regular sex. I actually feel a need to have a cock in my ass. Nothing makes me wetter, nothing. I’ve never come from it, but I love it.
19. The married guy I wanted the affair with had a fantasy of fucking a woman who was wearing his wife’s wedding veil.
20. My favorite place to have sex is outside. I love being naked outdoors! I feel like Adam and Eve.
21. I have a fantasy of having one man fuck me on a stage while a whole auditorium full of horny men watch. Especially watch me cum.
22. You’d be surprised at how many women who’ve been married their whole lives have never had an orgasm or enjoyed sex.
23. Men love their own cum. I don’t know how many guys I’ve met have a fantasy of cumming all over a women--on her face, her tits, ass, everywhere. Then fucking her with their cum still all over her.
24. I’m a lot older than a lot of girls on this site, and I want to say to all of them: don’t feel bad about anything. Sex gets better for women as you get older and it’s a much slower process than just jumping in the sack and fucking. Women are different than men!
25. Talking hardcore about sex is fun, but it’s not the be-all and end-all. In a way I feel like an impostor. All of this is true, but I’m a lot shyer and quieter in person. This is kind of my alter ego.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
1. I've got all female anatomy, and I like all my female anatomy, but I identify much more strongly as a guy than as a girl, woman, man, or boy. It just feels right. So I want to begin to claim the label "genderqueer," but I'm worried no one will take me seriously or, worse, people who are much more gender non-conforming will be offended that I would call myself that, too. I don't want to trivialize the much harder road people who are more visibly gender-variant are on.
2. I had my first sexual contact when I was 14, with my first serious boyfriend. He would finger me and I would stroke him, and no one ever had an orgasm, but I think of those dizzy, secretive, hormonally crazed summer nights with deep fondness.
3. My first exposure to the queer world was through my first boyfriend, who more accurately would be called my first girlfriend. She told me a few months after we began having penetrative sex that she'd always wished she'd been born female.
4. Despite #3, I didn't realize I wasn't straight until about a year later. At that time, my first girlfriend had become increasingly emotionally abusive and the final straw that made me break up with her came when she refused to allow me to go to a hot tub party of a mutual female friend. I realized afterwards that the reason that one controlling act and not all the others upset me enough to break up with her was that I was crazy in love with that mutual friend.
5. I identify as a submissive masochist, but I think I may be more of a switch on the inside. Unfortunately, I'm terrified of my sadism, so I don't think I'll ever be able to let it out.
6. It wasn't until I took an online psychological research survey about sexual assault experiences that I realized one of my girlfriends had raped me, many times. I don't know how to feel about this, or what to do about it. I would say no, and she'd pressure me with anger, wheedling, and accusations of not finding her attractive until I would have sex with her. Sometimes I would just skip the coercion part and have sex with her when I knew she expected it, no matter what I wanted. Often, I would feel a growing sense of dread and nausea as the time for bed came nearer, knowing that I would not be given a choice of whether I wanted to have sex or not. The longer this kept up, the more often I didn't want to. While I was trying to figure out if I should break up with her, every time we had sex I felt like screaming, crying, and puking all at once. I'm not sure how it was that I didn't realize this wasn't okay.
7. I told many friends about what was going on, and none of them thought she was raping me, either. At worst they thought she was demanding or irrational.
8. Despite #6, my favorite sexual fantasies are and have nearly always been rape fantasies.
9. I began masturbating when I was 6, and found myself getting aroused at thoughts of cruel, dominating, non-consensual sexuality, although I didn't know what any of it was called or what it meant. Princess Jasmine in her gold chains, being yanked around and spat on by Jaffar, sent me into spirals of lust. I had my toy ponies divided into two countries, and have one be conquered by other, who would proceed to, as I know it was now but didn't then, rape them with cunnilingus.
10. Because of #8 and #9, I have wondered if something happened to me when I was a child. I don't remember anything, and I don't have negative feelings towards any male relatives, and I also believe that fantasies revolving around power are perfectly normal to have, so most of the time I am firmly convinced that I was just born kinky.
11. I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship with a cisman and ciswoman. It's the most fulfilled and happy I've ever been.
12. #11's cisman is very perverted, and I enjoy more than he knows every time he unveils a new level of his kinkiness. On top of that, I thrill to have discovered someone who won't be repulsed by my own perversions.
13. #11's cisman rarely goes as far as I want him to go, but I know that he also stops himself short of how far he wants to go, too, being afraid of pushing me too far despite the fact that I have a safeword.
14. #11's ciswoman is a switch, and she's much more free with her dominance and sadism. The very first time we did a rape scene together, I had to use my safeword. I regret now that I did - I think I was just afraid of how deeply we were both into it.
15. I masturbate to sociological studies. The ones that get me especially hot are those that support hypotheses with well crafted quantitative research - those high levels of statistical significance really turn me on. Another type that turns me on are those studies that use thought experiments and slowly build to their conclusion. The layering of evidence and logical connections excite me like slow foreplay.
16. I have had sex with 22 people. I turned 21 last week.
17. Oh, about that polyamorous relationship - the cisman is 46, the ciswoman is 20. His age is less important than I thought it would be.
18. I have sex with people for all sorts of reasons, and I'm a big supporter of sex being something without inherent meaning. It can be like a friendly game of hopscotch, or it can be a way to express deep love. It can be highly narcissistic or giving. It can be transcendent in a multitude of ways. It can affirm ties, it can revel in anonymity. It can be anything you and your partner(s) want it to be.
19. I actually prefer threesome sex. Maybe I'd like moresome sex even more, but I've yet to try it. For some reason, relating in threes feels most natural for me.
20. I became wet instantaneously when #11's cisman told me a fantasy he'd had of me being a young man. I was wearing my strap-on when he told me this, and he proceeded to suck my cock. I came within two minutes. Since then, I've fantasized more and more often of being a young man, in all sorts of situations. For some reason, when I do this, I'm more likely to fantasize something romantic and gentle.
21. I would fuck most of the people I'm friends with, enthusiastically.
22. Reading about that study that says women register sexual response to videos of bonobos mating relieved me greatly. Animal Planet mating season shows always made me feel a little turned on, and I had been worried I was a closet zoophiliac.
23. I know smoking is bad for your health, but I have about 20 photos of sexy girls smoking saved in my porn folder.
24. There is a certain way to touch the area around my clit that I've only been able to get right with a high powered vibrator that #11's ciswoman can do with her tongue, just perfect, every time. When that spot is touched in just that way, I can orgasm nearly continuously for as long as the stimulation continues or I can't take anymore, and will usually also ejaculate.
25. When I'm frustrated, I get incredibly aroused. Marble Madness was a lust-drenched video game in my world.
2. I had my first sexual contact when I was 14, with my first serious boyfriend. He would finger me and I would stroke him, and no one ever had an orgasm, but I think of those dizzy, secretive, hormonally crazed summer nights with deep fondness.
3. My first exposure to the queer world was through my first boyfriend, who more accurately would be called my first girlfriend. She told me a few months after we began having penetrative sex that she'd always wished she'd been born female.
4. Despite #3, I didn't realize I wasn't straight until about a year later. At that time, my first girlfriend had become increasingly emotionally abusive and the final straw that made me break up with her came when she refused to allow me to go to a hot tub party of a mutual female friend. I realized afterwards that the reason that one controlling act and not all the others upset me enough to break up with her was that I was crazy in love with that mutual friend.
5. I identify as a submissive masochist, but I think I may be more of a switch on the inside. Unfortunately, I'm terrified of my sadism, so I don't think I'll ever be able to let it out.
6. It wasn't until I took an online psychological research survey about sexual assault experiences that I realized one of my girlfriends had raped me, many times. I don't know how to feel about this, or what to do about it. I would say no, and she'd pressure me with anger, wheedling, and accusations of not finding her attractive until I would have sex with her. Sometimes I would just skip the coercion part and have sex with her when I knew she expected it, no matter what I wanted. Often, I would feel a growing sense of dread and nausea as the time for bed came nearer, knowing that I would not be given a choice of whether I wanted to have sex or not. The longer this kept up, the more often I didn't want to. While I was trying to figure out if I should break up with her, every time we had sex I felt like screaming, crying, and puking all at once. I'm not sure how it was that I didn't realize this wasn't okay.
7. I told many friends about what was going on, and none of them thought she was raping me, either. At worst they thought she was demanding or irrational.
8. Despite #6, my favorite sexual fantasies are and have nearly always been rape fantasies.
9. I began masturbating when I was 6, and found myself getting aroused at thoughts of cruel, dominating, non-consensual sexuality, although I didn't know what any of it was called or what it meant. Princess Jasmine in her gold chains, being yanked around and spat on by Jaffar, sent me into spirals of lust. I had my toy ponies divided into two countries, and have one be conquered by other, who would proceed to, as I know it was now but didn't then, rape them with cunnilingus.
10. Because of #8 and #9, I have wondered if something happened to me when I was a child. I don't remember anything, and I don't have negative feelings towards any male relatives, and I also believe that fantasies revolving around power are perfectly normal to have, so most of the time I am firmly convinced that I was just born kinky.
11. I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship with a cisman and ciswoman. It's the most fulfilled and happy I've ever been.
12. #11's cisman is very perverted, and I enjoy more than he knows every time he unveils a new level of his kinkiness. On top of that, I thrill to have discovered someone who won't be repulsed by my own perversions.
13. #11's cisman rarely goes as far as I want him to go, but I know that he also stops himself short of how far he wants to go, too, being afraid of pushing me too far despite the fact that I have a safeword.
14. #11's ciswoman is a switch, and she's much more free with her dominance and sadism. The very first time we did a rape scene together, I had to use my safeword. I regret now that I did - I think I was just afraid of how deeply we were both into it.
15. I masturbate to sociological studies. The ones that get me especially hot are those that support hypotheses with well crafted quantitative research - those high levels of statistical significance really turn me on. Another type that turns me on are those studies that use thought experiments and slowly build to their conclusion. The layering of evidence and logical connections excite me like slow foreplay.
16. I have had sex with 22 people. I turned 21 last week.
17. Oh, about that polyamorous relationship - the cisman is 46, the ciswoman is 20. His age is less important than I thought it would be.
18. I have sex with people for all sorts of reasons, and I'm a big supporter of sex being something without inherent meaning. It can be like a friendly game of hopscotch, or it can be a way to express deep love. It can be highly narcissistic or giving. It can be transcendent in a multitude of ways. It can affirm ties, it can revel in anonymity. It can be anything you and your partner(s) want it to be.
19. I actually prefer threesome sex. Maybe I'd like moresome sex even more, but I've yet to try it. For some reason, relating in threes feels most natural for me.
20. I became wet instantaneously when #11's cisman told me a fantasy he'd had of me being a young man. I was wearing my strap-on when he told me this, and he proceeded to suck my cock. I came within two minutes. Since then, I've fantasized more and more often of being a young man, in all sorts of situations. For some reason, when I do this, I'm more likely to fantasize something romantic and gentle.
21. I would fuck most of the people I'm friends with, enthusiastically.
22. Reading about that study that says women register sexual response to videos of bonobos mating relieved me greatly. Animal Planet mating season shows always made me feel a little turned on, and I had been worried I was a closet zoophiliac.
23. I know smoking is bad for your health, but I have about 20 photos of sexy girls smoking saved in my porn folder.
24. There is a certain way to touch the area around my clit that I've only been able to get right with a high powered vibrator that #11's ciswoman can do with her tongue, just perfect, every time. When that spot is touched in just that way, I can orgasm nearly continuously for as long as the stimulation continues or I can't take anymore, and will usually also ejaculate.
25. When I'm frustrated, I get incredibly aroused. Marble Madness was a lust-drenched video game in my world.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
1. I was 18 when I had sex with a guy for the first time. I was 20 when I had sex with a girl for the first time. Now I'm 25 and I've slept with 3 men and 7 women.
2. I have a younger brother and sister who have had more sexual partners than me. That really bothers me.
3. The first time I had sex with a guy was with a girlfriend on whom I had a secret crush. Every time the guy touched me, I secretly hoped it was her. It never was. I really enjoyed having sex with the guy though.
4. I was 20 when I got my first girlfriend. Since then I've had four relationships, all with women. The longest time I've been really single was about two months.
5. I'm afraid I’m not that good at being alone. But then again: why be alone, if you can be with someone?
6. I know it’s a cliché, but I love being in love and I’m really good at it.
7. I have a thing for writing love letters. I believe it’s a real art to put your love, or lust, into the right words. I love writing dirty letters as well.
8. With my love letters, I’ve made people laugh, blush and cry. My ultimate goal is to make someone come, just with my words.
9. I like it a bit dirty. I think great sex should be a little filthy, very sweaty and absolutely without shame.
10. I like to talk about sex. I'm curious to what other people do in their bedroom. Because maybe they can give me inspiration, but even more so because I think people become as real and genuine as it gets when they're having sex. I think: if you really want to get to know someone, see how they have sex.
11. I could never tape myself having sex. A former girlfriend once tried, but shortly after we started my roommate came in. I think it was a sign. God's way of saying: you can better just do it than tape it.
12. I identify as a lesbian but fantasize a lot about sex with men. There is just something about a guy sticking his dick inside you.
13. Having that said: I think being fucked with fingers feels at least 10 times better than being fucked with a dick. Maybe it’s because the fingers that fucked me all belonged to girls, and as we all know, girls happen to be better in bed.
14. I can been quite aggressive in bed. I think that scares me more than it scares the girls I'm aggressive to.
15. I masturbate almost every day, some days more than once. My record is about 10 times a day. I’m not really ashamed about masturbating, and I can easily talk about it with lovers, friends and even family. I never tell anyone, though, that I use my electric toothbrush.
16. I've faked an orgasm twice, with a girl I later would have the best sex ever with. I still feel kinda guilty for faking, even though I'm sure I've made up for it.
17. Knowing that, I feel it still would really suck to find out someone faked an orgasm with me. I absolutely love it when I make people come. To me it’s better than having an orgasm myself.
18. I've made girls squirt, it's real sexy but because of the mess, there were times I performed lousy on purpose so I wouldn't have to clean up afterwards.
19. All the women I've had sex with have told me I was really good at it. I wonder if it's their low standards or my great accomplishments.
20. I believe people who are too confident are lazy in bed. I’d rather be insecure than lazy. The biggest compliment someone ever gave me was when she said that I am gracious in bed.
21. I love love love cunnilingus. I think it tastes sweet, and in some weird way, lying between her legs licking her pussy makes me feel safe. And of course horny as hell.
22. At the moment I have a fuckbuddy whom I love to have sex with. She has a killer body and her kisses taste like spring.
23. For the last couple of hours I haven't been able to stop thinking about this morning when she sat on top of me and was so wet, it was dripping all over my belly.
24. I’d love to have a threesome with her and a guy. I have this fantasy where she’s riding on top of him while touching herself. I told her about it. All she said (with a big smile) was "I’m in." I love her for that.
25. To me, sex is not that important; it's all about being close to someone. When I think about it, my favorite part about sex (apart from getting her off) is when you’re both immensely sweaty, crawl into each other's arms and fall asleep.
2. I have a younger brother and sister who have had more sexual partners than me. That really bothers me.
3. The first time I had sex with a guy was with a girlfriend on whom I had a secret crush. Every time the guy touched me, I secretly hoped it was her. It never was. I really enjoyed having sex with the guy though.
4. I was 20 when I got my first girlfriend. Since then I've had four relationships, all with women. The longest time I've been really single was about two months.
5. I'm afraid I’m not that good at being alone. But then again: why be alone, if you can be with someone?
6. I know it’s a cliché, but I love being in love and I’m really good at it.
7. I have a thing for writing love letters. I believe it’s a real art to put your love, or lust, into the right words. I love writing dirty letters as well.
8. With my love letters, I’ve made people laugh, blush and cry. My ultimate goal is to make someone come, just with my words.
9. I like it a bit dirty. I think great sex should be a little filthy, very sweaty and absolutely without shame.
10. I like to talk about sex. I'm curious to what other people do in their bedroom. Because maybe they can give me inspiration, but even more so because I think people become as real and genuine as it gets when they're having sex. I think: if you really want to get to know someone, see how they have sex.
11. I could never tape myself having sex. A former girlfriend once tried, but shortly after we started my roommate came in. I think it was a sign. God's way of saying: you can better just do it than tape it.
12. I identify as a lesbian but fantasize a lot about sex with men. There is just something about a guy sticking his dick inside you.
13. Having that said: I think being fucked with fingers feels at least 10 times better than being fucked with a dick. Maybe it’s because the fingers that fucked me all belonged to girls, and as we all know, girls happen to be better in bed.
14. I can been quite aggressive in bed. I think that scares me more than it scares the girls I'm aggressive to.
15. I masturbate almost every day, some days more than once. My record is about 10 times a day. I’m not really ashamed about masturbating, and I can easily talk about it with lovers, friends and even family. I never tell anyone, though, that I use my electric toothbrush.
16. I've faked an orgasm twice, with a girl I later would have the best sex ever with. I still feel kinda guilty for faking, even though I'm sure I've made up for it.
17. Knowing that, I feel it still would really suck to find out someone faked an orgasm with me. I absolutely love it when I make people come. To me it’s better than having an orgasm myself.
18. I've made girls squirt, it's real sexy but because of the mess, there were times I performed lousy on purpose so I wouldn't have to clean up afterwards.
19. All the women I've had sex with have told me I was really good at it. I wonder if it's their low standards or my great accomplishments.
20. I believe people who are too confident are lazy in bed. I’d rather be insecure than lazy. The biggest compliment someone ever gave me was when she said that I am gracious in bed.
21. I love love love cunnilingus. I think it tastes sweet, and in some weird way, lying between her legs licking her pussy makes me feel safe. And of course horny as hell.
22. At the moment I have a fuckbuddy whom I love to have sex with. She has a killer body and her kisses taste like spring.
23. For the last couple of hours I haven't been able to stop thinking about this morning when she sat on top of me and was so wet, it was dripping all over my belly.
24. I’d love to have a threesome with her and a guy. I have this fantasy where she’s riding on top of him while touching herself. I told her about it. All she said (with a big smile) was "I’m in." I love her for that.
25. To me, sex is not that important; it's all about being close to someone. When I think about it, my favorite part about sex (apart from getting her off) is when you’re both immensely sweaty, crawl into each other's arms and fall asleep.
Monday, April 12, 2010
1. When I was a very little kid I liked pool jets. A lot. Also, bathtub faucet water, which is an angle that’s only easily accessible when you’re a very little kid.
2. When I was maybe young-teenager-ish and would masturbate, I’d feel so guilty I would burn my hands with a candle. This was really a turn-on more than a punishment, so I’m not quite sure what the point was.
3. I didn’t kiss anyone till I was 19. Mostly because I’d been dating boys who I found hopelessly unattractive, but I went on dates with them because for some reason I thought to turn them down wouldn’t be polite. Then I wouldn’t let them touch me. My first kiss was with a girl at a party, one of those parties where people are just drunk and kissing everybody. It was a nice little kiss, sort of sunny and innocent, and then she turned around and kissed the boy behind me. I’m sure she had no idea that was my first kiss!
4. I wandered around for a long time feeling fragile and dazed because I knew I was a lesbian-or-something-like-that but was too scared to let anyone else know.
5. I knew the girl who would become my first girlfriend liked me because of the way she played with my hair. We made out the first night we met, outside in the school’s courtyard on a blanket with another couple who were also busy snoodling each other. When we kissed I was so nervous and turned on that I felt sick to my stomach. She said “you taste like mint tea” and I said “you taste like iron” and all I could think of was that iron is poisonous to fairies.
6. When we were together she would mark me up, even when I told her no. I would have embarrassing bruises on my neck and torso from where she sucked too hard. I still don’t like people to leave marks.
7. The first and only person I have had sex with is my current partner. The first time was a really great experience, we were so ready for it and we were already in love. We’d just gotten back from seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I had on lacy underthings under my boy clothes. I remember more about touching zir then about zir touching me. But the whole time was gentle and caring and good. After that we went into sort of a frenzy and did almost nothing but have sex for days!
8. Having sex for the first time took two tries though because I stopped breathing and my hands went numb! It took awhile before I learned to breathe normally during sex. I learned to follow my partner’s breath.
9. When I have sex I generally think of myself as male, strap-on or no. I’m pretty happily female-ish the rest of the time, if a bit on the genderqueer side. But it’s always sexy to be called “boy.”
10. Before I actually started having sex I thought I’d be a total and complete submissive. In reality, I’m pretty switchy. I love topping because it gives me a chance to come up with creative scenarios and pay close attention to my partner’s pleasure. I like bottoming because it allows me to get lost in sensation.
11. I love anal sex. Giving and receiving. It’s powerful and a little naughty.
12. I think I would have a difficult time having sex with a person with an original-plumbing penis. I have a terrible gag reflex and I only like vaginal penetration occasionally and with something very small.
13. I like oral sex from time to time. Giving and receiving.
14. The craziest place I have had sex was in a snowbank by a frozen river (the clothes stayed on). Everything was still and beautiful.
15. I make my own bondage gear. I sewed beautiful wrist-and-ankle cuffs, they are vel-cro with a celestial pattern. They’re for adorable bondage. I like rope bondage too, tying my partner up in pretty patterns.
16. When I first started having sex I would see strange patterns and pictures during, especially if I was sleepy. I don’t anymore, but I am also less inclined to have sleepy sex now, preferring morning or afternoon lovemaking.
17. Most of the time my sexual fantasies are about gay-boy couples. I don’t know why. I also like stories about hardcore s&m that are way more intense than anything I’d probably want to try in real life.
18. I sometimes wonder how things would be with a different partner. Since I’ve only had sex with one person, sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on variety of experience. I am in a very monogamous relationship. I can’t even have a sexual dream about someone other than my partner without feeling terrible about it IN THE DREAM. Sometimes I’d like to kiss other people; not sleep with, just kiss. I really like kissing and when I’m single I’ll kiss just about anyone and not attach much serious emotion to it. But I have never cheated/gone beyond pre-discussed boundaries.
19. I like porn, especially pretty-dykes-who-actually-look-queer porn. I cringe at the loooong fingernails in lots of the designed-for-straight-men lesbian porn. My partner likes penis porn. I don’t usually seek out porn with boys-who-have-penises on my own, but it’s hot when we watch it together.
20. I like vibrators. And butt-plugs. And dildos, more for use on my partner than on myself. I have a sizeable and still-growing toy collection.
21. Smell is a big part of attraction for me. When my partner started taking testosterone, zir smell changed. When ze stopped again, ze smelled really really good to me and I wanted to pounce zir all the time. My nose likes estrogen-based people I guess.
22. When asked to name my sexual orientation/identity I use “queer” these days. It’s umbrella enough to encompass me. It’s a social identity too, and a way of thinking outside of “gay” and “straight.”
23. From time to time I like packing and then going to the dance club and grinding with my boi.
24. I do drag/cabaret, sometimes with very little on. Taking my clothes off in a bar full of people feels more empowering and less objectifying than I would have imagined. I love it that people find me--a very far cry from traditional media beauty--sexy. I like to make people question their notions of what’s attractive. I like to turn gay boys on.
25. I think I am lucky to get to express my sexuality often, safely, with someone I love. I have never had bad sex.
2. When I was maybe young-teenager-ish and would masturbate, I’d feel so guilty I would burn my hands with a candle. This was really a turn-on more than a punishment, so I’m not quite sure what the point was.
3. I didn’t kiss anyone till I was 19. Mostly because I’d been dating boys who I found hopelessly unattractive, but I went on dates with them because for some reason I thought to turn them down wouldn’t be polite. Then I wouldn’t let them touch me. My first kiss was with a girl at a party, one of those parties where people are just drunk and kissing everybody. It was a nice little kiss, sort of sunny and innocent, and then she turned around and kissed the boy behind me. I’m sure she had no idea that was my first kiss!
4. I wandered around for a long time feeling fragile and dazed because I knew I was a lesbian-or-something-like-that but was too scared to let anyone else know.
5. I knew the girl who would become my first girlfriend liked me because of the way she played with my hair. We made out the first night we met, outside in the school’s courtyard on a blanket with another couple who were also busy snoodling each other. When we kissed I was so nervous and turned on that I felt sick to my stomach. She said “you taste like mint tea” and I said “you taste like iron” and all I could think of was that iron is poisonous to fairies.
6. When we were together she would mark me up, even when I told her no. I would have embarrassing bruises on my neck and torso from where she sucked too hard. I still don’t like people to leave marks.
7. The first and only person I have had sex with is my current partner. The first time was a really great experience, we were so ready for it and we were already in love. We’d just gotten back from seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I had on lacy underthings under my boy clothes. I remember more about touching zir then about zir touching me. But the whole time was gentle and caring and good. After that we went into sort of a frenzy and did almost nothing but have sex for days!
8. Having sex for the first time took two tries though because I stopped breathing and my hands went numb! It took awhile before I learned to breathe normally during sex. I learned to follow my partner’s breath.
9. When I have sex I generally think of myself as male, strap-on or no. I’m pretty happily female-ish the rest of the time, if a bit on the genderqueer side. But it’s always sexy to be called “boy.”
10. Before I actually started having sex I thought I’d be a total and complete submissive. In reality, I’m pretty switchy. I love topping because it gives me a chance to come up with creative scenarios and pay close attention to my partner’s pleasure. I like bottoming because it allows me to get lost in sensation.
11. I love anal sex. Giving and receiving. It’s powerful and a little naughty.
12. I think I would have a difficult time having sex with a person with an original-plumbing penis. I have a terrible gag reflex and I only like vaginal penetration occasionally and with something very small.
13. I like oral sex from time to time. Giving and receiving.
14. The craziest place I have had sex was in a snowbank by a frozen river (the clothes stayed on). Everything was still and beautiful.
15. I make my own bondage gear. I sewed beautiful wrist-and-ankle cuffs, they are vel-cro with a celestial pattern. They’re for adorable bondage. I like rope bondage too, tying my partner up in pretty patterns.
16. When I first started having sex I would see strange patterns and pictures during, especially if I was sleepy. I don’t anymore, but I am also less inclined to have sleepy sex now, preferring morning or afternoon lovemaking.
17. Most of the time my sexual fantasies are about gay-boy couples. I don’t know why. I also like stories about hardcore s&m that are way more intense than anything I’d probably want to try in real life.
18. I sometimes wonder how things would be with a different partner. Since I’ve only had sex with one person, sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on variety of experience. I am in a very monogamous relationship. I can’t even have a sexual dream about someone other than my partner without feeling terrible about it IN THE DREAM. Sometimes I’d like to kiss other people; not sleep with, just kiss. I really like kissing and when I’m single I’ll kiss just about anyone and not attach much serious emotion to it. But I have never cheated/gone beyond pre-discussed boundaries.
19. I like porn, especially pretty-dykes-who-actually-look-queer porn. I cringe at the loooong fingernails in lots of the designed-for-straight-men lesbian porn. My partner likes penis porn. I don’t usually seek out porn with boys-who-have-penises on my own, but it’s hot when we watch it together.
20. I like vibrators. And butt-plugs. And dildos, more for use on my partner than on myself. I have a sizeable and still-growing toy collection.
21. Smell is a big part of attraction for me. When my partner started taking testosterone, zir smell changed. When ze stopped again, ze smelled really really good to me and I wanted to pounce zir all the time. My nose likes estrogen-based people I guess.
22. When asked to name my sexual orientation/identity I use “queer” these days. It’s umbrella enough to encompass me. It’s a social identity too, and a way of thinking outside of “gay” and “straight.”
23. From time to time I like packing and then going to the dance club and grinding with my boi.
24. I do drag/cabaret, sometimes with very little on. Taking my clothes off in a bar full of people feels more empowering and less objectifying than I would have imagined. I love it that people find me--a very far cry from traditional media beauty--sexy. I like to make people question their notions of what’s attractive. I like to turn gay boys on.
25. I think I am lucky to get to express my sexuality often, safely, with someone I love. I have never had bad sex.
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