Saturday, January 22, 2011

1. I am a 19 year old, reasonably straight female, and have had 7 sexual partners.

2. The only sexual action I have had has been while drunk.

3. My first real kiss was with my friend (a girl) at 17. I made out with 4 girls that night, and a few weeks later, the first male 'action' I had was making out with 2 gay guys. (I didn't know a lot of straight guys at the time.) Overall I've made out with 9 girls, 3 of those strangers.

4. The first time I had sex was at 17. I had just met him that night at my friend's brothers 21st. I don't think I even took my shoes off. He was 23 and it was on a table at 4 AM.

5. The second guy I had sex with was also a guy I had met that day. It was my friend's friend, and we pulled 2 couches together and had sex there. He didn't respect me at all, and I went home absolutely covered in hickeys.

6. The third guy was a guy I had met a few times before. He liked my friend first, but she didn't like him. I was the second best option and I gave in because I liked that he was a ginger. He was so small I had to go on top every time we had sex. I deserved a lot better... He asked me out, but broke up with me a day later. It was at a club, I was drunk, he told me he didn't want to see me anymore outside in the smoking area. Being the person I am, the first guy that took an interest in me after the breakup that night ended up taking me home. Even though the ginger guy didn't/doesn't respect me, I still have gotten with him a few times after this event.

7. Over the space of 2 years I think I've made out with about 30 guys... I love the art of kissing. I'm pretty sure my mouth is an erogenous zone. I also love giving blow jobs... I prefer giving head to receiving head, as I love the satisfaction you get when you get someone off.

8. I like to be the one that initiates sex. After I get them riled up I like them to take over, but for the first 10 minutes I want to be the one on top.

9. I've recently discovered I love to be bitten. My most recent sexual partner told me he liked to be bitten on the ear. When he showed me how it was done, I nearly died.

10. I want to have sex with a girl at some point, hopefully this year. I want it to be someone I don't know, someone short and cute with big eyes and a cute sense of fashion. I would go out with a girl, I think, but I've been put off relationships, so I probably won't now, unfortunately.

11. I've never achieved an orgasm with anyone. The only way I can orgasm is if I watch girl wrestling porn or porn where a girl deep-throats a dildo... I'm kind of scared of this fact, as I don't think I ever want to sex wrestle with anyone, and I think this could possibly be desensitizing me to ever being able to orgasm in a normal sexual encounter.

12. The last time I had sex was 2 days ago, with this gorgeous guy. He's my current sexual partner, if you will, even though we're not going out. Whenever we go out, we always end up spending the night getting drunk on opposite sides of the room, then getting together while drunk and spending the next day cuddling and watching movies. There's nothing I love more in this world than being cuddled while watching a good movie. We both admitted to liking each other and that we like being together, but we both have commitment issues and both enjoy sex too much.

13. A week ago I had sex with 2 guys in the same night. I was really drunk and really regret it. They were both jugglers from different counties. I told the second guy I liked him, I think it was because I was drunk and felt vulnerable and lonely. He said he was just into sex.

14. I don't think I will ever enter into a relationship until I meet someone and fall in love with him instantly. There's this guy at college, a mature student. I've never spoken to him once, and even though the lecture halls fit about 800 people I am constantly looking at him, imagining conversations we could someday have. He's never looked at me, I just hope he's never caught me looking at him. If he has done, I don't think there'll ever be a day we get to talk, as I probably seem a complete freak.

15. I've been told I'm very pretty. I'm only 5'1", quite thin but curvy. I've had quite a lot of ass compliments. It's my greatest asset.

16. I want to be madly and deeply in love with someone, but I'm like my dad, and have similar traits to his. He left the home when I was 12, and seems to hate commitment like me. Although I crave 'a prince,' I seem to have awful luck, and I assure myself every day love will never find me, and I won't find love.

17. As you've probably guessed, I'm easy to get into bed. I've often ditched my friends in order to have sex, which I hate, but it's my New Year's resolution to never do it again. My desire to have sex while drunk always clouds my judgment in the most hideous ways.

18. I'm scared if I ever fall hook, line and sinker for a man they'll hurt me, as I have a massive heart that is just dormant. That's why I think I go for guys that don't really like me that much. I know what I'm getting into, so when they finally decide to get with another girl in front of me, as they have done, I won't have expected any less, and it won't hurt as much.

19. I love pain mingled with sex. I like the sensations; pain and pleasure to mingle. I love when guys slap my ass. I also love the feel of getting a massive hickey, just not the after-mark as my mum is now really worried about me as I keep coming home in the morning with a hickey after 'spending the night in my friend's granny's house'. I currently have 2 hickeys from 2 different guys.

20. I want to some day have sex with a girl using a strap-on.

21. I wish I could give up sex and go on a hunt for a real partner, but as soon as there is drink in me I become an animal, and I love drink, followed by sex, way too much.

22. I hope to have sex with ecstasy in my system soon.

23. The further the list goes on, the more I think I'm going to hell, even though I'm atheist, which probably contributes to the 'going to hell' feeling.

24. I keep telling myself I'm happy with the way I am, and that it contributes to my independence and lifestyle, but the more I think about how truly lonely I've always been, the more it hurts... I've started getting a name for myself, and I'm really scared for the future.

25. I hope one day I'll be able to fall in love with someone and show them this list, and they will love me enough not to care, but I'm scared I've become too much like damaged goods.