Saturday, April 18, 2009

1. I find the idea of marriage, and sex with just one person for the rest of my life, terrifying. Also kind of boring. I don't think I believe in it.

2. My last relationship lasted 3 years, I never once cheated - even though I didn't love him, and the sex wasn't great. I'm not sure that would still be true if the opportunity had come up though.

3. I don't really see the attraction in kissing. It gets boring.

4. As a kid I had a friend who would invite me over for sleepovers. We'd end up in her bed pretending to sleep while I touched her.

5. Because it was always me coming up with excuses to get into her bed, and me doing the touching, I've always felt like I took advantage of her. I can't even think about her anymore without feeling ashamed.

6. I masturbate before sleep almost every night. It's my 'me' time, and the way I wind down after a tough day.

7. I wish my favorite vibrator made less noise - I can't use it when my flatmates are home because it honestly sounds like a lawnmower starting up between my thighs.

8. When I was unemployed I would pick random days to stay home all day and watch porn.

9. I love watching a guy eat his own cum out of a woman. I think it kind of signals a certain comfort with the messiness of sex, and security in his own masculinity.

10. I am uncomfortable with the idea of a guy going down on me. It's only ever happened twice, and I faked an orgasm both times, just to get him away from me without hurting his feelings.

11. I don't like oral because I am repulsed by the idea of eating some girl out, so I imagine guys must be repulsed by it too. On the other hand I quite like giving blow jobs.

12. Generally, when I'm on my own, I am comfortable with my body and sexual response. I spend a fair amount of time wandering the house in various stages of undress when the people I live with aren't home.

13. I once invited a friend into my room without realizing I had a box of sex toys open beside my bed, a used condom hanging out of the bin, and cum on the sheets of my unmade bed. (The boyfriend had left early, and had spent a few hours making up for some fairly lack-luster morning sex.) At the time I just didn't stop to think that any of it would be weird for her to see. After she left I realized what she'd seen, and proceeded to die of embarrassment.

14. I've never been in love, but I imagine it would be all consuming, and amazing.

15. I don't think I'm pretty enough to pick up guys. No guy - bar my Dad - has ever told me that I'm attractive. Everyone knows it doesn't count when it comes from one of your parents.

16. I get inappropriate crushes on guys who are either way older than me, in relationships, or flagrantly gay. I also get painful crushes on guys I assume are too good for me.... Once I realize I have a crush on them I find it hard to ever make eye contact, or small talk with them ever again.

17. I'm 24, so really too old for crushes.

18. I'm a hopeless romantic. I daydream about the perfect guy appearing out of nowhere and after a tumultuous courtship - involving multiple conflicts and tragic misunderstandings - falling head over heels in love with each other and spending the rest of our lives together. Happily ever after. Not bad for someone who professes to not believe in marriage right?

19. I should really stop reading romance novels. They're not doing anything for my love life.

20. I wish I knew how to pole dance. I'm pretty sure I'd be amazing at it.

21. I seem to be unable to just be friends with guys. I end up realizing how awesome they are, and then getting crushes on them... And we've already established that those end badly for me.

22. My first real guy mate (who I had a crush on, then miraculously got over) told me he loved me on the night of my 21st birthday. I said thanks, gave him a hug, and then proceeded to go drape myself over his best mate. Perhaps not surprisingly, we are no longer friends.

23. I really wish I could orgasm with just vaginal intercourse.

24. I think the idea of two guys together in bed is almost hotter than straight sex. If I could, I would change into a guy for one night, so I could go out and pick up another guy, just to see what it's like. I'll bet having a cock is awesome.

25. On the other hand female sexuality is pretty damn amazing... I wouldn't want to give that up forever. Having boobs is fun.
1. I try and have one orgasm a day, whether through masturbation or sex. Any way is fine by me.

2. I love being tied up. I bought my man fur-lined handcuffs for Christmas, the fur is gone cause we love it rough. The best time we have used them so far was when he cuffed me behind my back and fucked me from behind. He had to hold my waist up when he wanted it doggy style.

3. I’m now dating a Catholic boy. He knows how to press all the right buttons. While he believes in no sex before marriage he made an exception for me. I’m not quite sure if that makes me happy or sad.

4. He is four years younger then me and had two girlfriends prior to me. I don’t know why they left him. His oral is unbelievable. I get incredibly horny just thinking about it. Despite him being younger and in his prime my sex drive is massive compared to his.

5. I love that he lets me have a post-coital hug. We discuss life and discuss new moves, techniques and what we want to do to each other. This normally results in another round.

6. He is the first person who has let me bring toys to the bedroom. And the first that I feel really open with.

7. I love masturbating with him watching. I know it is a real turn on for him so I do it. The best is sitting on top of him while he is watching TV, in just my bathrobe which is slightly open. He can’t last long and we end up fucking on the chair right away.

8. Anticipation has me dripping with desire. The best was while watching Team America. Every advert we were allowed to touch each other. It ended up with us naked on the floor fucking doggy style in the ads. By the time the puppet love scene came on, we were distracted with our own. I still can’t watch that movie in company because I end up horny from dreaming about it.

9. We are currently scouting for the best place to have sex in public. We both have jobs where we are constantly in the public eye so have to be careful. The first place will be in a lake though.

10. Sex in water is amazing. My best experience was giving my man a blowjob in the shower. Me on my knees with water streaming down my face. He was so hard. We managed to make it last until we ran out of hot water.

11. I like being feminine and girly, but I also like being in charge and nasty. I love being on top and in control, but also love it when I’m flipped onto my back and dominated.

12. Kissing turns me on. There is nothing more romantic than a long lingering kiss or a hard kiss with plenty of tongue. I especially love being kissed on my nipples and my neck.

13. I lost my virginity at age 17 to a guy I didn’t like. We had been seeing each other for a year or so and had sex because we were both drunk. He cheated on me a month afterwards. I was relieved to have a way out of the relationship.

14. The next person I had sex with was an egotistical idiot. I stayed with him for two years. He used to joke with his friends that I never gave him blow jobs. I didn’t because I knew he wouldn’t go down on me. It was the first and only time I have used sex as a blackmailing tool.

15. That same guy would only have sex in the bed. Never on the couch. In the car. In the shower. Anywhere else but in the bed was off limits. He bored me and when he, yes again, cheated on me (this time with my best friend) I left him to it.

16. I have had one one night stand. It’s not my style but I was very drunk and with some guy mates. Their new friend was being ignored so I struck up a conversation, which led to bed. It was horrible. He was weeny, the condom broke and I was paranoid that my friend's mum would walk in (I worked with her, she later found out and was so happy that I finally had a one night stand).

17. Sometimes I fantasise about making out with girls. I’ve kissed plenty in my time but have always wanted to go further. I would even have a threesome but with his beliefs it isn’t a turn-on or something he wants to do.

18. New Zealanders are naturally quite prudish I have found. I hope this changes because I do not believe that sex is something that should be frowned on.

19. When I was 18 I had my drink spiked with ketamine (horse tranquiliser). I remember being out of it and falling over. A man picked me up and took me out of the club and dragged me into a car. Luckily the police were driving past, saw me and stopped. A friend was walking by and heard the man tell the cops I was his drunk girlfriend. She lashed out and punched him, while screaming at the police to save me. Without the police and my amazing friend who knows what could have happened.

20. It amazes me that many people forget the fundamental reason as to why we have sex – to reproduce. Almost every time I have sex I hope that I get pregnant as a result. It’s what I was put on this earth to do, be a Mum.

21. However, humans and dolphins are the only animals to mate for fun. And that is just fine with me.

22. Because of my (I don’t want to say fame cause I am not famous, I just spend a lot of time in the public eye with my job) whatever I find it hard to walk into a sex shop. So I buy lots of stuff online. I love costumes but I can’t buy them online cause I don’t know if they will fit. Sigh.

23. I masturbate. A lot. I’ve tried vibrators but nothing really tickled my fancy. So now I rely on my fingers. And my imagination.

24. I used to worry that my cheating boyfriends meant I wasn’t good in bed or something. That has been proven wrong. The sex with them was horrendous. The sex now is incredible. It’s all about finding the right one for you. And speaking your mind.

25. I wonder if the order in which I have written this list says anything deep about me. Or should it be considered as a whole? Anyways, I think this is a brilliant project and the more discussion about this topic the better.
1. My idea of kinkiness: reading a piece of Harry Potter fan fiction about Harry and Hermione doing it for the first time, and imagining it being read aloud by Nigella Lawson.

2. I’m in my mid 40s and lost my virginity in my mid 20s.

3. The ‘Beautiful Agony’ website is the most arousing thing I’ve seen in years. (And that’s where I found this site.)

4. Once, when my wife and I came home from a formal dinner, we made love while I kept my tux on, and she was naked – except for her pearl necklace.

5. The hardest erection I ever had was while watching hardcore porn on video in my 20s. (I’d seen it before, but this was the first time I’d had the chance to see it alone.) It hurt for two days afterward.

6. My wife has a bisexual-leaning-to-lesbian friend I sometimes have fantasies about.

7. I also sometimes think about the girls I knew and fancied (but never got to touch) at university.

8. I have been out with three Swedish girls and can’t understand where the ‘Swedes are sexually free and easy’ stereotype came from.

9. One afternoon my (then) fiancee and I had my parents over for lunch. Afterwards we watched out the front window till we were sure they were gone, then whipped our clothes off and made love.

10. The first girl I ever got semi-naked with (we didn’t go all the way) was a workmate. The breakup was brutal. I can understand why she wanted to break up – we didn’t do much together other than make out. A couple of years ago I saw her working in a shop - I recognised her instantly. I went in and bought something. I think she recognised me, but said nothing. I hurriedly got out.

11. When making love, my wife and I usually end in the ‘doggy’ position, which she finds the most arousing. I also like her on top, but it makes me come too quickly – it’s just too much.

12. I love cunnilingus – my wife said I was the first ever to make her come hands-free.

13. Pregnancy is a turn-on.

14. I’ve tried prostate massage a couple of times – but I need to shower thoroughly first, if you know what I mean.

15. Until I started getting regular sex I used to masturbate with my penis between two pillows – they’d represent the upper and lower halves of a woman’s body, and my penis would fit in the overlap between them.

16. I have many female friends, more than male – in my single days I often found myself being secretly in love with them while they cried on my shoulder about their boyfriends. Only many years later did it occur to me that I should have stopped the hopeless love fantasies and instead cried on THEIR shoulder about my lack of action – they might have introduced me to one of their girlfriends, or at least given me some tips on what I was doing wrong (or not doing at all). Not that it mattered in the long run – I ended up meeting my future wife through a male friend.

17. I wish we could massage each other the way we used to – oil each other up totally, then finish by making love. Now we have a child who might walk in at any moment, which makes it hard to be relaxed or spontaneous.

18. The first movie with nudity I ever saw was David Hamilton’s ‘Bilitis’ when I was 16. I didn’t shave for a couple of days to make myself look older (it was restricted to 18 and over).

19. The first girl I had sex with, I was more interested in the sex than in her. She, on the other hand, was in love with me. I kept it going for the sex. I’m not proud of it.

20. My wife and I have had sex on a beach.

21. I find women from South Asia (i.e. the Indian sub-continent) very sexy.

22. I discovered masturbation when I was 10.

23. When I was at school I used to resent the fact that my sister is a lot younger than me – she has lots of girlfriends. ‘If only she was older’, I’d complain to myself, ‘I could get to know them.’ But by the time they were old enough, I’d left home. (I went to an all-boys school, and she went to an all-girls school.) But one afternoon, when she would have been about 16, I went to her school to pick her up (I forget why – the family must have been going out somewhere). As I walked with her to the car, all these other 16-year-old girls were turning around and looking at me, with a ‘Helloooo...’ look on their faces. Well, I was young and thin then.

24. The first time I had sex, I was nervous and she wasn’t very wet. I ‘wilted’ several times trying to enter her. She reached for the tube of skin moisturiser in her bedside cabinet. She rubbed some on, and I was in. It only lasted about 90 seconds.

25. My wife doesn’t know I’m doing this.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

1. I had my first kiss when I was 13 at church camp. I got peer pressured into playing spin the bottle, hooray for peer pressure!
2. When I started dating it was very innocent, but when I moved away from home I met someone 12 years older and all my hormones exploded and I couldn't control myself.
3. I was 18 the first time I had sex with him and I didn't love him, but he was an amazing person and he taught me a lot.
4. My first steady relationship was with someone 5 years younger than me who had a really playful attitude towards sex, so it really helped me get into
exploring my sexuality.
5. I've been in bed with men and women (and both together) and am turned on by different things from both.
6. I don't label my sexuality under anything. It's not my identity, sex is just a part of my life (an important part though, haha).
7. I never made out in cars like a normal teenager, but since then I've had sex in all the cars I've driven. I love the thrill of trying to not get caught, being in an enclosed space, and steaming up windows.
8. I've always wanted to try BDSM and haven't found the right person yet. I consider myself both dominating and submissive, depending on my mood.
9. When I was a kid, maybe 7 or so, my best friend wanted to play a game when I was sleeping over at her house. She pretended to have sex with me (as a man) and I
really liked it even though I had no idea what it was. Years later I wondered if all kids did this, and I freaked out until my boyfriend reassured me it was pretty common. Still, I feel embarrassed about it sometimes. She and I are still friends.
10. I've had a hard time finding romance because I put so much emphasis on sex. I tend to give people the impression that I'm just out for sex only, but truly I don't know how to separate love from sex.
11. My first orgasm was from oral sex. It was incredibly intense and I had no idea my body was capable of doing something like that. I believe orgasms are
the best thing you can do for your health!! Whether that's from your doing or someone else's... who cares how you get them, just have them.
12. I hid a French fashion magazine in my room as a teenager that I brought back from France. Most of the girls were nude and I was neurotically paranoid
that my parents would find it. I was fascinated by the blunt, natural attitude the french had towards nudity and sex.
13. I was bothered that my first boyfriend watched porn but after we broke up, I got into it on my own.
14. I've only given oral sex to one man because I always thought it would make me feel cheap, but he turned me on so much that I tried it and liked it. I would never go down on someone who didn't want to reciprocate.
15. I've had anal sex twice with a strap-on and once with a man, and it was okay, but just not really convenient.
16. The one thing I regret sexually is letting someone record a video and keep it.
17. I have a little thing for scars and birthmarks on people. I think they're sexy.
18. I've always wanted to try dirty talk but have a fear of blurting it out in the middle of sex and having the person stop and be like "what--??"
19. I loooooovve dressing up in costumes. It's like instant sex kitten in a box!
20. My ideal fantasy involves gorgeous fake leather boots (I'm a vegetarian, haha), wrist restraints, and a whip.
21. The worst kind of sex to have is someone going down on me who doesn't know what to do.
22. I'm a proud feminist and an old-fashioned romantic at the same time. I expect men to open doors for me, but I carry my own condoms. I want to be serenaded but I also want to get off. My philosophy is probably confusing but, eh, it works for me.
23. It's a shame that some people don't appreciate kissing more. It is one of the biggest turn-ons leading to sex, but a lot of people just want to get that part over with. Hmpph.
24. I like being loud when I have sex, it's hot. It's even hotter when a guy is breathing really hard and making sounds.
25. It took me a long time to be totally okay with my sexuality and open about it. And that's why I love this website...!