Monday, December 17, 2012

1. I have had intercourse with 9 guys.

2. I have had two threesomes. One was on my 21st birthday, with two guys. The second was about a month after I moved in with my new roommate, and we went out for drinks with her and her boyfriend, then we bought a bottle of Johnnie on the way home... And both of these incidents had great, dramatic emotional meaning and value and were partly the result of, and also the cause of many many intertwined problems.

3. I had a miscarriage in April.  I haven’t had sex since then. It was my first pregnancy. I don’t know when I got pregnant, neither of the two times I had sex prior to getting pregnant were particularly worrisome. The first time the condom broke, and i got the morning-after pill. The second time he was so drunk he could barely get it up, and we used a condom, and we think he might not have even come. So I am scared shitless and don’t think I will ever dare have sex again.

4. I love feeling a cock in my mouth. Sucking dick can really really turn me on sometimes.

5. I once had sex in a separate room of a bar that we were alone in and the door was closed (and from the other side, you could reach the door through a wardrobe, Narnia! How cool is that, I had sex in Narnia). And the idiot left the condom there on the coffee table. So I tried to avoid that bar for a few months after that.

6. There are 4 guys that I know I would have had sex with by now were it not for the miscarriage. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like with them when I masturbate.

7. Once I got so horny while I was pregnant (I didn’t know I was pregnant yet, though), I felt I absolutely NEEDED to be penetrated or I would go mad – and I don’t have a dildo or any other sex toy, so I put a condom on a candle and used that.

8. The best sex I have ever had was with an acquaintance of a friend I had just met that night, and he had a girlfriend at the time (he kept asking me – but you know I have a girlfriend, right? – yeah, I know. – and is it OK? – I told you already, if it’s okay with you, it’s okay with me, you’re the one who knows what this relationship means to you), and I didn’t even find him particularly attractive, and it was so great that there were absolutely no strings attached, it was completely free. I almost came just from intercourse (that has never happened to me), but we weren’t using a condom and I had to stop because I was scared it would be as good for him as it was for me...

9. I once fainted lying down because my boyfriend was just so talented at eating me out.

10. I love being loud during sex. And I love it when guys are loud during sex. It turns me on horribly.

11. I was fooling around with a guy once, and he started playing around with choking me – not really, not taking it past a comfortable level – and I really liked it. I’d like to experiment with that more.

12. For a really long time, I thought my nipples weren’t sensitive. But a while ago I realized that oh my God they are sensitive, so sensitive in fact that I could never let myself really enjoy the sensation that my nipples being touched or licked gives me, because I was afraid of its intensity. I’m getting past that now.

13. A pretty good tip for guys (or girls who like girls) is that being stimulated in three separate parts of your body simultaneously is amazing, and will almost definitely result in orgasm. (E.g. pussy-ass-boobs, pussy-nipples-ear, hipbones-ass-nipples, you get the idea.)

14. I really love how it feels when a guy is eating me out and squeezing/rubbing my nipples at the same time. My breasts and my pussy getting so stimulated at once makes me feel in touch with some primal, womanly, motherly force inside me, what I think will later on develop into what people like calling "mature(d) sexuality."

15. Spooning is my favorite position.

16. Gang bangs are my favorite kind of porn to watch.

17. I had sex on the campus of my university once, late at night, on the soccer field.

18. I shave. I like to leave a triangle of hair. I’ve had it other ways (strip of hair, not trimmed at all, just the edges trimmed, no hair at all), but I like this the best. It’s clean, but it doesn’t look too unnatural.

19. I love battle wounds. Sex bruises and sore muscles make me smile to myself days afterwards.

20. I love being eaten out until orgasm and then penetrated. I am so overcome and overwhelmed with all the stimuli and fuzzy-good-sex-feelings buzzing around inside me that I almost go numb with physical happiness, and I feel completely helpless, and I can and do surrender myself completely to the guy, to the passion, to the moment.

21. I love collarbones, and holding the back of a guy’s neck, and muscular shoulders, and deep eyes.

22. I could spend days just getting high and having sex and cuddling and sleeping and repeating endlessly.

23. I have had sex with someone right there next to me/us, more than once, but all with the same guy (he is also the Narnia one, and one of the two guys from the threesome on my birthday).

24. I almost always wait for the guy to make the first move, I very rarely initiate sex.

25. I like to masturbate in the shower, with all the hot running water and steam and sweat and everything.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

1.       I’m a 19-year-old, delving eagerly into the process of questioning my assigned gender, which is female. 

2.       I’m very unsure of my sexual orientation. I most identify with the label bi-curious. It’s all up in the air right now. I’ve only ever had sexual experiences with men, two so far. 

3.       I am more often attracted to women over men. I’ve been attracted to women with all body types, skin colours; I’ve found no obvious patterns in my attraction.

4.       I think that if I had some sort of sexual experience with a woman it would solidify my sexual orientation. I’m not sure why I want to solidify it, though. I think that one of the reasons is that I feel like I never challenge heterosexist assumptions about myself because I’m so unsure about my attraction to women. I’m not sure if my attraction to women really is deeply sexual or I just think that a lot of women are beautiful. If I did start looking for someone to experiment with I know I would be picky about who. I never want to share my body with anyone who isn’t sex-positive, body-positive and feminist.

5.       For men, I’m least attracted to muscled, body-builder type figures.  Though I’m sure there are exceptions to every rule.

6.       I really want to experience oral sex with a woman. I just don’t know how to go about pursuing this fantasy while in an exclusive relationship. I would never cheat. My partner knows that I’m attracted to women, and honestly, I think that if the opportunity came up, he would probably be okay with my trying a one-night stand kind of thing with a woman. I’m just very anxious about trusting that he would be honest about his feelings towards it because I wouldn’t want it to strain our relationship at all.

7.       My favorite word for my cunt is cunt. I love the way it sounds and looks when written down. Something is so deliciously simple about it.

8.       My PIV sexual debut (a sex-positive term that rids the negative connotation of losing one’s virginity) was at 18, with my boyfriend. We had been dating for years, having lots of oral sex and just waiting for a time where it felt right to go further. I was ready for sex before he was and I patiently waited. When we finally did, he wasn’t very hard throughout it because he was nervous about performing well, but it was a great experience anyway.

9.       I’ve strip-teased on webcam and sent nude photos to a boy I met through the internet and I consider it a mistake. This was in a time in my life where I used my body to try to make boys like me.  Now I will never know if he still has those photos.

10.   Up until my current relationship I felt shame about doing sexual things. I succumbed under pressure to things I didn’t want to do, and rarely explored what I did want to do.  I feel like this is because I was affected by ideas that society puts forth about sex and women’s roles. Since becoming more feminist and sex-positive my sex life has definitely improved. Being able to talking openly about sex with my partner has lifted a huge weight off of me.

11.   I think that the way that cocks work is a beautiful metaphor for sexual desire and release. I like the boldness of erections. The pattern: the hardening, movement until cumming, the release and final softness of a hanging cock, drooping and exhausted. It makes sexuality look so clean and obvious, and in comparison vaginas seem so subtle and mysterious to me.

12.   For a long time I hated many parts of my body. Now I love myself wholly, especially the bits I hated most; I love the curve of fat at the top of my thighs and the way it looks against my cunt and I even love my small perky breasts.

13.   My previous boyfriend had begged me to give him a blowjob and when I finally did I simply hated it. I don’t think I was turned on at the time at all. I hated the smell and taste of his cock and the way if filled my mouth. I just put my mouth around it for less than a minute so that he would leave me alone about it. Afterwards he thanked me and said that he thought blowjobs were overrated because he didn’t like it very much. It was really frustrating for me because he said he thought it would be “gross” to perform oral sex on me, but urged me to go down on him after I told him I didn’t want to. In retrospect this disgusts me, and I feel like telling him that what he did was wrong because I don’t want him to put anyone else through that.

14.   I’ve been sexually assaulted 5 times. 4 out of 5 times I was groped by strangers in public in broad daylight. The other time a family member kissed me on the lips when I was upset. I’m still not sure if he meant the kiss to be sexual, but I felt violated afterwards and he never asked me if it was okay.

15.   I think I’d like to try anal sex, and some BDSM things (mostly being tied up during sex). Both scare me a bit, though.

16.   One of my favorite things is when my boyfriend goes down on me. He’s so passionate about it and I love that it turns him on. I get so horny as he kisses down my body, heading for my cunt.

17.   I find it exhilarating to have sex outside. Once I went down on my boyfriend in the basement of a half-built house that we broke into. Not knowing if someone was going to catch us made it so sexy.  

18.   I want to be fucked harder than I’ve ever been fucked.

19.   I love going down on my boyfriend. Something about the shape of the tip of his cock is so appealing; it makes me want to put my lips around it. Sometimes I like when he throat-fucks me, but I’m not in the mood for that all the time. We’re really consistent about being open about what we feel like doing, which I value a lot.

20.   I’ve never had an orgasm from PIV sex. It doesn’t bother me; I really do enjoy sex anyways. It’s such a different sensation for me than clitoral stimulation.

21.   I’ve recently been getting off by being in control. I suddenly realized that I previously rarely moved during sex and it really freaked me out. Being able to move my body against my partner is the fucking bomb.

22.   My first kiss was at summer camp and I snuck out of my cabin in the night for the kiss. It was so beautiful to kiss him in the moonlight, and his touch was so passionate and hesitant at once. It was a French kiss, and feeling his tongue on mine was incredible.  Even though it probably only lasted for a fleeting moment, it is still one of my most vivid sexual memories.

23.   Another vivid sexual memory of mine is when my boyfriend and I mutually masturbated until we both came. It was so steamy to watch him in such pleasure, and see him watch me. He came first, and afterward he kept urging me on saying “please cum, cum for me” as he watched me touch my clit. When I finally came it was so powerful. The whole time, we had an unspoken agreement that we weren’t going to touch each other. It was so sexy, when I think of it now there is a red haze over my vision.

24.   I’m going sex toy shopping with my boyfriend. I’m really excited. I want to try something that stimulates my clit while we fuck.

25.   Most porn turns me completely off.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

1. I'm a nineteen-year-old gender-fluid. Mostly I identify and function as a cis woman; occasionally I'll play at being a man. For now I identify as a bisexual, not because I think there are two genders, but because I've not so far been attracted to a person of any other identity.

2. I lost my virginity at sixteen to my then-boyfriend, in a coercive rape, and I didn't realize what it was until a year later when I broke up with him.

3. After I lost my virginity, I spent the next two and a half years thinking I was asexual, as I never really wanted sex and it was never fun, but I still did it with one other boyfriend because it wasn't unpleasant and he thought it was the base of any relationship. He dumped me because I wasn't very good at sex.

4. I think the terms 'fuck buddy' and 'friends with benefits' are not interchangeable, I think a fuck buddy is just a person you use for sex, and they do the same to you, but a friend with benefits is a genuine friend, and you also have a sexual relationship, but not a romantic one.

5. In the summer after I graduated high school I met my first friend with benefits, we met in a bar and went back to his with a few mutual friends, and I told him I didn't like sex. At the time, I thought I was somehow broken (physically) and it just didn't feel that great, but I'd try anyway, because I did get some enjoyment out of seeing someone find pleasure in me. Over the course of a few months, he helped me enjoy sex, although I still thought I was broken as I hadn't orgasmed, even through masturbation, which I didn't like.

6. I helped my current boyfriend overcome his fear of sex, and one time, quite by accident, orgasmed.

7. I now enjoy masturbation frequently, as it is difficult for me to orgasm from penetration.

8. I think my clitoris is really on the tiny side.

9. I enjoy taking a submissive role in sex, being pinned down, bitten, but no so much spanked. I enjoy finding teeth marks or pressure bruises the next morning.

10. My current boyfriend doesn't know I sometimes identify as male, but I don't think less of him or think he'd love me less, I just don't think it's a part of our relationship.

11. Light strokes on my lower back and lips on my nipples are a big turn-on.

12. All people attracted to me like/d my legs, my friend with benefits couldn't say a word against me when I wore a skirt or dress. But he never made me feel like an object.

13. I'm a little curious about anal, but my first boyfriend tried to force it "accidentally" and it was incredibly painful and I bled, so Im a little hesitant, and I don't feel like it's something I have to do, especially since my boyfriend is quite 'normal' when it comes to sex.

14. I've never used a sex toy, don't really feel the need.

15. I'm quite easy to arouse.

16. I think it's weird that romantic love is the only kind that allows any intimacy in its physical expression. My dearest friend is my old friend with benefits (without benefits now), and while I don't feel a sexual attraction to him any more, I feel like a kiss on the cheek doesn't convey how deeply I love him (platonically).

17. I wonder if there are things someone who identifies as a lesbian could teach me about my own sexuality.

18. I'm very self-conscious of my orgasm. I think it's a reason I like to be submissive, because I feel embarrassed or exposed being on top during sex.

19. Size matters a little to me. It's not the end of the world, but deep penetration feels great, and it's easier for me to orgasm.

20. I like after-sex naps, especially spooning with my partner. I like the closeness and coziness of someone holding me to them, I feel like it's a happy, lazy continuation of our intimacy.

21. I feel weird about being vocal during sex, but hearing moans and gasps from my partner is really arousing.

22. I think oral sex is way more intimate than people make it out to be, and I've only ever done it to my current boyfriend, and only once, because I wanted to please him without thinking about me, but he never really liked it, so it's just not really something that is part of my sexual world.

23. I enjoy the company of people older than myself, not so much for sexual attraction, but because I enjoy being with people who can teach me something, and who I can have intelligent conversations with, but on the reverse I think that kind of relationship can be dangerous for the younger person if the elder is simply using them and exploiting their ignorance.

24. My boyfriend has a lower sex drive than I do, but I don't often crave sex.

25. I can make myself orgasm in under a minute.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

1. I am a 26-year-old woman with very liberal sexual proclivities.

2. I currently have a boyfriend who I've been with for over two years, who is 24 1/2 years older than me, 'K'. He is not the first older man I have dated. When I was 17, I lost my virginity to a man of 34, 'P'. When I was 22, I was with a man of 44, 'M'. And now I am 26 I am with a man of 50. This equation (he is double my age) is a recurring theme in my life. The math of my partner's age in relation to mine turns me on. The bigger the age gap, the more exciting I find him. The largest age gap I have had was an affair of the heart, and just kissing, with a man 45 years older than me. I was 17 at the time.

3. By the age of 20 I had kissed (or more) with a man in his teens, 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's. It turns me on to think of this.

4. I lost my virginity to my teacher, 'P'. He was married. A month after we first kissed, his wife gave birth to twins. We used to meet up after hours when I made sets in the tech department for my drama course. The affair went on for 8 months. He never gave me an orgasm. I adored giving him blow jobs. I felt so wonderful being desired by him, because boys my age bullied me. About a year and a half after I started Uni I got a call from the police saying that my name had come up in investigations into his being found with a 15-year-old student. I was interviewed by the police. I was honest. The hardest thing was telling my father. He listened to my confession, held my hand and said 'Shit happens. We'll support you'. My statement was the reason 'P' confessed and was put on the sex offenders registry and blacklisted from teaching. I do not regret this. I do regret the affair. Not for his wife or children, but for the fact that I was not able to associate sex with love until years later.

5. 'Lolita' is one of the most erotic films/books to me. I choose to see it as the desire of an older man for something beautiful and unspoilt. Since I saw it at 16 I have forever wanted to be the object of that desire.

6. I am not heterosexual. I have kissed four women in varying degrees of depth. Two of those I was sexually intimate with and one of those involved full strap-on sex. My favourite kiss was with a drunk woman outside a pub. I had gone to drink alone after a hard week at work and chatted to a couple of lads I didn't know who bought me a few drinks. During one trip outside for a cig a man kept calling me "darlin'" in that drunk laddish way. His lady joined us, and I started chatting with her so she would not think I was returning her man's attention. At chucking out time, I had another cig with the lads before leaving, and the drunk man and his lady passed us on their way home. I gave her a light and she stood close to me and we both looked up. I gently put my hand behind her head and kissed her softly and with a tenderness I thought she might not feel very often. She looked back at me afterwards like I was made of pure love. Like I shone gold in the dark. She started walking away then had to come back for another kiss because she said it was just so beautiful. I often think of the way she looked at me and I love telling this story.

7. The most erotic thing about the woman I had full strap-on sex with was the curve of the hollow of her collar bone.

8. I want to be publicly spanked by 'K'. We are heavily into fetish and BDSM. We have a fantasy world where he is the Lord of the Manor/The Stable Boy/The Gardener/His Lordship's Gay Dresser and I am his Maid/Slave/Queen/Cook. Among many others. Sometimes the marks he inflicts on me last for weeks.

9. My favourite fantasy with 'K' is 'The Boy that Works in the Morgue'. He is a fully developed character. I am the beautiful corpse he makes love to when no one is around. I lay totally still with my eyes open and unblinking while he whispers awful things to me while fucking me, made-up stories from his childhood involving abuse and incest. This fantasy came out of my pretending to be a china doll one evening and he took a risk and said I looked dead while I was in character and lying still. This was the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever said to me. I cried in his arms without blinking once as he made love to me.

10. For all my love of older men, my first kiss was at a sleepover, aged 14, on a dare, with a 12-year-old friend of my friend's brother. I tell everyone else it was with some guy at school outside the A floor drama gallery.

11. I occasionally tell people I slept with my cousin once when we were horrendously drunk. This is true. Neither of us came. I stumbled back to the spare room afterwards. Dismissing it as a horrible drunken mistake makes me feel better.

12.  I used to repress my sexual urges and not mention things that turned me on because my on/off boyfriend of 5 years, 'J', thought I was obsessed with sex. The day I left him for good, it was like someone cut the elastic bands constricting my chest, and I finally breathed deeply for the first time in years. Exactly one week later 'J' was staying with friends, and I invited my then-ex 'M' and his new girlfriend back for tea and kisses. Two weeks after that I taught her how to deep -throat him with a live demonstration. Things didn't really pan out after that, but we still flirt together when we meet at a goth night once a month. I would not get involved with them again.

13. I have only had four orgasms triggered by a partner. Three were from 'J.' Those were through oral sex with additional fingers internally. It took forever. He resented me for it. One was from 'M' as he finger-fucked me and I played with my clit. It also took forever. He was so proud of himself and let me fall asleep afterward while he went back to work. I fake it ALL the time. It takes me anything from 20 minutes to an hour on average on my own. I think this is why I enjoy the pain of S&M in place of orgasms.

14. I see beautiful women everywhere, and I hope they enjoy their beauty. Some of them look so serious or sad. I imagine making love to them.

15. I have made love to three men with a strap-on. The first, 'M', taught me how and was very helpful with technique. The second, 'J', was in denial about liking it. It took me two years to gently persuade him. Even though he loved it, he avoided it every time I suggested it afterwards. I didn't push the matter. When I left him and said we would no longer be sleeping with each other, he suddenly wanted to do it again. The third is my current boyfriend, 'K'. He adores it when I take him in the missionary position. I love the feeling of his legs wrapped around my waist. Sometimes he wears the red and white polka-dot dress I gave him.

16. When I masturbate I like cum shots. Hearing a man's orgasm cries and see him shoot gets me off.

17. Six weeks into my relationship with 'K,' we went to see his ex of twenty years ago, whom he'd not seen for four years, out of the blue, for a BBQ  and sleepover, as we were in the area. After much wine, some drunk dancing and her 15-year-old son falling asleep, she suddenly kissed me as we were searching for whiskey in the drinks cupboard. We kissed, all three of us; they fondled me. She spanked me while I sucked his cock and did things to my nipples that left them sore for a week. When I asked why I was the only one naked she said 'sweetie, it's because you're the only young and beautiful one'. We all laughed. She is about 50 as well. The next day 'K' and I were closer than I've ever felt to a partner.

18. I prefer relationships with older men, yet I have no Daddy issues whatsoever. My father was perfectly supportive and has never let me down. My mother, on the other hand, lost interest in me as soon as I developed my own opinions. I cannot imagine having a relationship with a woman, despite my desire for them sometimes.

19. I find pain arousing--receiving it and inflicting it.

20. I read erotic stories all the time, either published books or internet fiction. My favourite novel is 'The Story of O,' and on the internet I read any fan-fiction involving rakish older men paired with girls many years their junior. My ultimate turn-ons are stories based on the Harry Potter books, with Severus Snape or Lucius Malfoy paired with Hermione Granger. Or stories involving all three of them. I read these stories on the bus, the train, in coffee shops. I love getting wet and aroused in public.

21. I have had two different clitoral hood piercings at different times. Having metal in my knickers is such a turn-on--knowing there's a little secret that no one knows about. Neither have been right for me, and I have removed them both now, but the process of getting them is brilliant and at the same time the most intense pain I've ever had from a piercing. (I've had over twenty in my time.) I usually have dreams of giving birth when I'm recovering. I feel more like a woman  with metal in my lady-garden. I will do it again.

22. I have bought a rubber outfit for my second Christmas with 'K'. It comprises of a bodice top and a tight pencil skirt. The crowning glory of this ensemble is a pair of knickers that have an internal sheath that is designed to be pushed inside my vagina so he can fuck me without actually touching any part of me. I find this an incredible turn-on. We kiss through plastic clothing bags I bought specially for the purpose and through his full circle leather skirt. To touch without touching makes me so wet.

23. As it never happens, I do not base 'good sex' on my orgasms. I think this opens me up for better appreciation of other aspects of sex. I value connection, passion, imagination and movement. If we move together right, if we reach for each other in the right places at the right moments, then we're onto something good. Sex isn't called 'the horizontal rumba' for nothing. Static jackrabbit missionary isn't going to get me going. Touch is important. I love running my hands over a body, and that's all over a body, not just the fun bits. I particularly love shoulders and collarbones. I love the way my fingers travel over the curves and bumps of bone and muscle there. I will touch your waist, the backs of your knees and your forearms. And you will love it. And I want you to do the same to me. I'll ride on top,  no problem, but the best bit of being on top is when you sit up, wrap your arms around me and roll me over onto my back, my head and shoulders almost falling over the edge, and screw me into the bed. Just like the best bit of side-by-side sex with my leg slung over your hip is when I push you over and go for a ride. 

24. Kissing is the most. Fun. Thing. Ever. A good kiss is the ultimate turn on. With the right person I can kiss for hours. I love to be kissed softly at first, our lips moving over each other's gently, teasing, nibbling, and licking. As the passion rises between us, as the kiss deepens and tongues begin to dance and our arms tighten around each other, as we sigh and breathe into ourselves. The feeling lifts me off my feet, and I am genuinely flying. I have that kind of kissing in my life now. And I like to kiss every inch of 'K'. I remember once he was laid out on the bed, his feet on the bed, his knees bent. I was crawling towards him and I knelt between his legs and gently kissed his right knee. He said later on that he found that the most beautiful and erotic moment of our lovemaking that afternoon.

25. I turn myself on more than anything else. I think I am the most beautiful thing in the world. I pose in the mirrors in 'K's' bedroom (mirrors we bought to watch ourselves), I watch myself in shop windows and any other reflective surface I catch myself in. I love my curves in candle light, my shoulders, hips, breasts. I have been told I am beautiful by so many people. I see this as making up for the years of my youth spent feeling ugly and out of place.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

1. I am an eighteen-year-old cisgender female. I don’t know what sexuality I identify with at all.

2. I have had 2 sexual partners over the course of my life – my boyfriend, whom I am with now and have been with for a year, and a female friend I had sex with a couple times before him.

3. I really love my boyfriend and our relationship, but sometimes I feel like I’m missing out because I haven’t had sex with very many other people.

4. I fucking LOVE scissoring so damn much. Now that I’m with a guy, I miss it sometimes.

5. Half the time I love giving blowjobs, the other half of the time I hate it.

6. I’ve never had an orgasm. I have absolutely no idea why – I know that it doesn’t have to do with either partner I’ve had, because I can’t do it through masturbation either, even when I use a vibrator.

7. I would love to try more BDSM – thinking about getting dominated turns me on a lot.

8. When I was eight, one of my classmates sexually molested me. It still upsets me to think or talk about it much.

9. My sex drive has just started to come back in the past two months, after about two years of next to nothing. This is due I think to two different medications that I just recently quit in the past year: antidepressants and birth control. My low sex drive has been a huge source of frustration for me, especially after I started dating my boyfriend.

10. I have a few kinks, mainly related to BDSM, that are definitely out there, although I haven’t actually tried them yet. I don’t know if I ever will.

11. Visual porn does nothing for me, but written erotica can definitely turn me on.

12. Sex is a lot better for me when I love or at least deeply care about the person I’m with. I also can get turned on for it much more easily when that’s the case.

13. The idea of a dick in my anus doesn’t really bother me, but for some reason the idea of fingers in my anus turns me off.

14. I have a hard time feeling sexually attractive sometimes because my breasts are so small, even though no one I’ve fooled around with has ever minded them.

15. I don’t really like how penises look in general, but I am deeply attracted to my boyfriend’s.

16. A girl with a penis turns me on.

17. I’m really attracted to men’s shoulders and chests, and women’s stomachs.

18. For me, the best part of sex is the intimate connection it creates with the person(s) you do it with.

19. I never used to tell my partners if they were not really making me feel good while we were having sex – even though my boyfriend asked me to on several occasions. Then one day, I broke down and spent a solid hour teaching him how to finger me right and eat me out correctly, and the whole experience was so intimate and hot that I wish I’d just done it way earlier.

20. I have had sex while on mind-altering substances, but for some reason most of them--with the exception of alcohol--don’t really turn me on that much – instead they make me want to spend a lot of time talking with my partner instead.

21. I fantasize about watching someone I’m with fuck another person.

22. I absolutely adore the way hands feel on my hips.

23. Seeing a boner through a guy’s boxers or jeans drives me absolutely wild.

24. If I can’t cuddle after sex I get really sad and feel kind of empty.

25. There are few things I like more on this planet than watching my partner’s face when he or she orgasms. 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

1. I'm a 35-year-old woman from Spain. Lesbian, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual.... blup... I've never liked to define myself in terms of sexuality, or even gender, but social interactions have been forcing me to since I was born.

2. When i was a child, until I was 9 or 10 years old, I secretly wanted to be a boy. Once playing on the fields of the school, on break time, a girl approached me
 and asked me if I wanted to be a male. I was wearing a red dress, very feminine, and charol shoes. I lied consciously to her. I was 6, and I already was aware of social mental rigid conceptions of gender in this world.

3. Now I am a very attractive, feminine girl, thin, athletic, with long blonde hair and a sweet face. Also I think of myself as someone androgynous. I play the female card, and I guess people see mainly the feminine in me, even though I still feel that I reflect to the outside this little girl that wanted to be "macho."

4. When some people drive me crazy trying to define my sexuality, I answer to them that I'm a gay guy in a body of a women that fucks women. It really bothers  me, this mental blockade that most people have in their minds, but at the same time I'm compassionate with them. I feel more comfort, in terms of sexuality, with my bisexual, or homosexual, or transsexual friends, because all these things are already understood, but I do love all my friends.

5. I came out of the closet to my father and to my brother at the age of 14.

6. I lost my virginity with a man at 14 also.

7. I lost my virginity with a women at 15.

8. At 19 I fell for a guy, and then I had to get out of the closet again, but this time the heterosexual one, because everybody thought of me as a lesbian. Then I decided to not define myself any more.

9. I have been with 150-170 different people, more or less. Males and females. All of them before 27. After that I was in a monogamous relationship with a women with 2 kids for 7 years, and after that, maybe 5-6 people.

10. I've had a threesome a few times. Sexually, it can work. Twice, I've been in an emotional threesome, and at the end it becomes a disaster, even
 though the last one ended up becoming that 7-year relationship.

11. I was in a foursome once: 2 women, one male and me. Too much stress.

12. I've had four long term relationships: with a man for 3 years, a woman for 2 years, another women for 2 years, and another women for 7 years. The first two were not monogamous.

13. I think I have never really fallen in love with a man, and I wonder if one day I will. I would like to, and I think I am capable of it. I guess it's never happened because i wasn't lucky with the males that I found. I was close to it twice, but I don't know. I keep myself open. I really like women, and the feeling of falling in love with a woman, when it comes, feels easy and natural.

14. I don't like it from behind. It is painful for me. With one or two fingers is OK. I would like to be in love with someone with the patience and the eagerness for doing it to me. But I need love to open on a certain level.

15. I like toys. But I can only use them when I feel very comfortable with someone, and that means being in love too. Or a really, really good friendship, and long-term lover.

16. All these sexual experiences gave me an open view of life. I was always searching for what love is (I know it sounds weird with that number of people, but in a way that was the ignition inside of me), or how many forms love can take.

17. With time I became more respectful with myself, and more picky. Now it's hard for me to open sexually to someone if there's no friendship at least, and a good friendship. But there are so many things that I need to be there at the same time:  good chemistry, an open mind, capacity of feeling, no shame, adventure for discovery...

18. Some times I don't let anyone get close to me. These periods can be 5-6 months long, or even longer, but i consider myself too young for celibacy, so I "force" myself to open a bit to sexual lovers, even if it's not exactly-exactly what I am looking for. Usually I pick up male partners for this.

19. Sex and emotions go together for me, but sometimes it's amazing how far away the emotions that I relate to some sexual experiences can be to the reality of whom I have in front of me. Projections. The intensity of good sex can give blindness. Not love, as is said.

20. Sometimes i feel like a man, sometimes i feel like a women. (Inside myself, not related to any action, not related to how I look.)

21. I like to fuck with men as if I was a man myself, and then change the role, and be fucked like a woman by a man. With women I become softer and stronger at the same time. I like when a women takes me, and seduces me, and forces me aggressively. And i like to do the same to them.

22. I started to masturbate when I was 2 or 3. I still do it in the same way as when I started when I was a child, face down with my fingers on my clit, and the sheet in the middle. At the age of 6 i realized that it was better to not do it in front of anybody, a bit later I realized that this thing that I was doing was actually what the adults call masturbation.

23. By myself, I prefer to have clitoral orgasms, and I like them in the shower too. If I am with someone, it does not matter if it's a women or a man, i prefer to have a vaginal orgasm. I'm multi-orgasmic both ways.

24. To get to have a vaginal and a clitoral orgasm at the same time, I need to be with a partner that I've known for a long time. If not, I cannot open up.

25. I like to talk about sex, but usually I have to be careful in which way I do it. If I am with a heterosexual male friend I talk about certain things, and I avoid others. If I am with a heterosexual female, the same. With a bisexual male I can be a little more open, but also not totally open; with a lesbian friend also... and so on. It's nice to just be me, and to just talk free freely.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

1. I am a 20-year-old, heterosexual, White British, cis female who is a virgin.

2. I have never had a "formal" sex education class, apart from brief discussions of the biological aspects of reproduction and some general "abortions and contraception are evil" talks. Everything else I’ve learned has been from the Internet, and there’s a lot of "basic" stuff I’ve only just learned in the last year or so. I am rather sheltered. My parents never gave me "the talk."

3. I wonder if anyone will ever find me attractive. The only time people have tried to state things to me has been when they’ve been using me as an object of ridicule.On one occasion a few years back, I ran into two of my childhood bullies. They hadn’t changed, and were going out of their way, still, after all these years, to make me uncomfortable. Another occasion was someone who followed me over a railway bridge near my home bugging me for my phone number the whole way. I unfortunately seem to notice every single one of my physical flaws, and my main area is actually my arms, not my stomach, which is surprising.

4. When I was in secondary school, I was inappropriately touched on my inner thigh by a student who was older than I. He apparently did it on a dare. And no, my school didn’t really do anything, even after my mum kept me out of school for a week until they ‘sorted’ things out. I’ve noticed the memory creeping back on me over the last year or so, when I thought for the most part I’d buried it away.

5. I’m not sure if I want a relationship for the sake of being a ‘thing’ that everyone is meant to have and/or if I’m just generally wanting the companionship and affection that tends to come along with it, as I tend to be a rather solitary person.

6. I was a ‘late bloomer’--when I was a child and everyone started gushing about boyfriends/girlfriends, I wasn’t interested, I only got somewhat ‘interested’ in my mid-teens. Even then, I’ve never had much of a sex drive.

7.  I wonder if I’ll ever be emotionally stable enough for a long term relationship.

8. I’ve only ‘properly’ masturbated once, but I don’t know if I did it right, as it didn’t seem to work.

9. The thought of actually having sex honestly terrifies me.

10. I was raised Christian, so I was brought up to believe that ‘sex is not for outside marriage.' I think to some extent I still stick to that belief, even if I’m not really a believer anymore (or at the least, ‘no sex unless in a long-term, committed relationship'), but my general overall view is something along the lines of ‘do what you want provided that you’re safe and consensual.’

11. I feel at constant conflict with how feminine I am and how I’m ‘meant’ to be. I honestly do not know ‘how’ to be feminine.

12. I have never had any form of romantic experience (including kissing).

13. I don’t seem to have ever had a ‘crush’ on someone I actually know/have met. The only crushes I have had have been famous people or fictional characters.

14. I am stupidly self-conscious, not just about my appearance but it seems every aspect of me. I got bullied and generally excluded a lot as a child. I have never gotten the hang of being ‘social.’ I never know how to act around people. I am also dyspraxic, so I’ve always been self-conscious that I am not ‘normal,’ and have a feeling that people pick up on it.

15. Visual porn doesn’t seem to have much effect on me, but saying that, well-written sex scenes have some effect on me (most, though, I’ve found in M-rated fan-fiction, ahem).

16. I feel incredibly awkward if I get stuck in a conversation about sex. Once a classmate’s boyfriend caught onto this and purposely kept talking about it to make me squirm.

17. I think one of the reasons I haven’t had a boyfriend is due to my rather small social circle. I am shy and introverted so I steer away from a lot of ‘social’ places, and I am not comfortable in such places. I am honestly my own worst enemy in that regard.

18. I have tried online dating, but I don’t think it’s for me. I got inundated with requests from people who didn’t seem to read my profile. I had one person I seemed to maybe have a chance with, but I have a bad feeling I made things go sour.

19. On the one hand, rom-coms and ‘romantic’ movies in general make me want to throw up, and I criticize how inaccurate they are, and I can’t stand to watch them--yet I still like the idea of romantic gestures and ‘old fashioned’ courting and would actually really love to be slightly doted on like that at least once.

20. I’ve had an ‘imaginary boyfriend,' or at least a random imaginary guy my mind conjured up to try and see what my ‘ideal’ person would be.

21. I’ve never really been attracted to ‘macho’ guys. I also have a bit of a thing for red hair, and long hair, and green eyes, yet I’ve never really liked guys with blond hair.

22. The thought of giving someone a blowjob honestly squicks me out a fair deal.

23. I don’t think I could ever have sex with someone I didn’t have feelings for.

24. Whoever I end up having sex with, I’d need to trust them completely.

25. I’ve noticed I have a thing for guys wearing eyeliner, and guys with nice eyes in general.

Monday, December 3, 2012

1. I'm a 42-year-old male.

2. I've been married for 13 years and 100% faithful. I surprised myself - until meeting my wife I wasn't good at being faithful. I didn't mean any harm, I just liked fucking.

3. We've had periods of lots of sex, and periods with very little. Daily masturbation gets me through the slow times.

4. On average, I've orgasmed every day since I was 15.

5. I've had days where I've orgasmed 10 times. Things got a bit sore, but it was worth it.

6. Until doing this, I've never counted sexual partners, but it would be 40ish.

7. I was very lucky with my partners--most of them were great in the sack. I don't claim credit for their performances, but I had some sensational times.

8. I don't understand how people could "save themselves" for one person.

9. I dated a girl who was terrible in bed. I had no idea someone could have so little idea/interest in sex. The relationship ended abruptly.

10. I can last as long as I like, or come as quickly as I like. It's about a moment, being in it, or being a little detached from it.

11. When I was younger blowjobs didn't make me orgasm.

12.  In my early 20's, when a girl did get me to orgasm by giving me head, it blew me away so much it scared me off them.

13. My wife gives me great blow jobs. It's making me hard right now thinking about them, and I'm at work.

14. Nothing makes me hornier than a partner coming.

15. I loved partners who were comfortable in their own skin. I love seeing a girl masturbate to orgasm if I couldn't help them get there.

16.  Little catches of breath, quivers and shivers. Nothing better.

17. A partner showed me how to go down on her. It was a set of explicit (no pun intended) instructions. Lick here and insert two fingers now. The intensity of her orgasm made me orgasm, with no hands or touching--the first and only time that's ever happened.

18. There's nothing that I really hunger for. I once was offered anal, but declined. I've thought about that offer quite a bit, mentally it turns me on because of the taboo thing, but reality might not match up.

19. I fantasize about old partners a lot when masturbating. Special things stick in your mind.

20. My fantasies are matching my age. I don't get horny over younger women, I fantasize over women about the same age as me. Women in their 40s always made me hot. In my mid 20s I had 2 relationships with women 10 years older than me. They were super horny.

21. My wife fantasizes lots during sex. I like to hear about them afterwards. They're cool fantasies, and nothing that I would ever think of.

22. We've never thought about role-playing them.

23. Outdoor = good (and naughty).

24. I like all sex. In bed naked together is as good as pants 'round her knees standing in the hallway.

25. I love lingerie, but my tastes change. Currently it's panties that show lots of bum cheek underneath and look very soft. I'm not sure whats going on in my head either, but I like my own tastes.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

1. I am a nineteen-year-old woman. I'm a virgin by common moral standards, and sex scares me. Religion is a dirty word in my personal experience, and I'm one of those people who says gosh, geeze, and darn just to avoid it, although I can swear like a sailor with no provocation.

2. I don't like relying on anything. I used to drink and pop at least eight 350 mg painkillers every day. The people I've talked with about sex agree that they wouldn't know what to do if they had to be celibate. Addiction runs in my family, but I can kick habits like those mentioned above in a single day. It hurts like a bitch, but I think I get a power trip out of it. Nevertheless, I don't like trying my abilities where I don't need to.

3. Pretty much every male figure until third grade was a perceived threat. My first male teacher, a Vietnam vet, spoke to us early in the year about a friend who died in the war. He showed us the etching of his name on the War Memorial. Up until then I hadn't really thought men could have the kind of peace he did. It wasn't depressing, or overly reassuring. Just this brief little talk, but he trusted us and cared enough about us to do it, and I loved him for it.

4. Oftentimes, people blame tumultuous childhoods for issues later in life. Those who don't know me well tell me I'm very strong, assertive, and sexual, but my closest friends know that if someone so much as touches my arm without my consent, I'm likely to feel nauseous. I had a violent upbringing.

5. Referencing 1 and 2, I despise weakness, particularly co-dependence and reliance. I can't deal with people in pain or withered from sickness, and I can't really stand the thought of coming to rely so heavily on someone else for physical purposes. I can pleasure myself, and I do so three or four times a week.

6. On a cabin trip we took, I wrote a note to my boyfriend in his diary and removed the bookmark. I told him the gist of what I'm telling you, and to forgive me and be patient with me because it's difficult to think about what's happened. Several days later, he sent me a note telling me that I am not, as I wrote, "dirty," and that he respected me. I almost cried, so I went to bed at 19:00. A few weeks after, he gave me a carved picture frame with a picture of us in it. In the back cover, once you open it, is something I wrote him. It made my eyes water and he cuddled me for a very long time.

7. I've been masturbating since about the fourth grade. I looked at filthy stuff, even then--mostly rape and violent assault. I was eleven.

8. Scars and bruises and rope, all placed artfully, turn me on. I hate seeing bruises on the face. I can't tell you how much. But old gashes, purple and yellowed skin, and bloody noses are fuel to the fire.

9. Sex was a solid enough concept by the second grade that I was forcing my favorite doll, one with short hair and highlights and tanned skin, one that looked exactly like me, to prostitute herself to my other male and female dolls, but mostly male. I made a little veil, and they would go underneath it and I would violently mash them together, a deep voice growling, "Take it. Yeah. You like that?!" while a higher, pleading, scared voice said things along the lines of, "No! Stop! Please!" I entertained my friend with my antics and she joined in. Then she moved and I had no one with whom I could share my little game.

10. I didn't care if my Barbies were naked because they didn't look like real people or kids, but if my baby and porcelain dolls were exposed, I could freak out.

11. Shortly after getting into darker and darker porn at eleven, I discovered gay fiction. I read it avidly, and it was much more calming and normal than the shit I'd been viewing before. For years, I could only come thinking about gay sex.

12. I was terrified when I first started menstruating. Before, I passed as a boy, a quiet one, but a boy. The jig was up.

13. If I don't masturbate for three days I have a sex dream. That's that. I'm two or so years past the puberty gate, and my sex drive can go like clockwork rather than spontaneous, unbidden hours of... well, "heat," I guess.

14.  I hated myself for several years before going through severe depression, self-mutilation, therapy, suicide attempts, and an SSRI that gave me paranoia alongside my "uplifted" moods. During this time, I began drawing obscene pornographic comics involving tentacles, rape, torture, date rape, imprisonment, gang rape, and murder. They made me laugh and feel good about myself. Filled four decently-sized sketchbooks in something like three years.

15. The pastor at my school liked to see kids in his office. I stopped attending Sunday school at six because I always wanted to be near my mother, no exceptions, and when I was left in the class, I laid low at first, trying not to be noticed, and then I acted out. I was very, very happy to go. It's been thirteen years. I have never told anyone anything about this and this the last time.

16. His son ran Christian Youth Nights at the Lutheran church and offered twisted logic aside his Jesus rant. He told us men and women have their places, then had the boys and girls play various Mars Vs. Venus games. One of them could be compared to Venus in Furs. I thought it was fine, even fun at first, but then something was wrong and slowly throughout the night I felt dirtier, and dirtier, until I finally sneaked out through the girls' locker room. To this day, no one  from my hometown talks about it. My peers say things like "Oh, well, that's just what kids do, right? I mean, it was a joke. Totally funny. Why are you so uptight?" I'm one of those people who doesn't shower or try to mentally cleanse or repress after something bad happens. I earned that anger. It is mine, and I am going to keep it until the day I die.

17. I don't trust authority figures because of all that and many, many things non-sexual, but the sight of an officer's uniform still gets me going like no tomorrow.

18. Every girl I liked in the past was heavily religious. I moved to a big city where it wasn't much of a problem, and then all I had to do, with the people I got to know, was ask. However, every boy has had to pursue me like nobody's business. The main reason my boyfriend is my boyfriend is that we shared that hunt. We challenged each other, he, used to being in control, me, used to being alone with free rein. One of our friends has called him my bitch, and I laugh, but I'm perfectly weak to him if he deserves it.

19. My first boyfriend hit me during our second fight. In passing period. In front of my friends.

20. I hate Hollywood movies with unattractive, geeky failures who magically obtain the perfect woman because it's fine if they're untouchable, but a female is a sexual object, and that's all she's good for. On the other side, I hate movies which figure that the only way to have a strong female character is to "give her control of her own sexuality." As long as she flaunts her double-Ds and gives blowjobs because that's feminism. Which is to say, I despise Hollywood. But it goes into another factor, because I don't believe all of these gorgeous gals are flocking to the computer science building, that many of these women aren't fully consenting with the plot, just going along with it. And this should really have its own point, so check out #24.

21. Some of my more disturbing fantasies include inter-species rape, zombies, blood kinks, cannibalism, broken bones, amputation, alien cross-species implantation, and... horrible things involving Robert Downey Jr. Honestly, given the chance, I want to make him cry and crawl and beg on his knees. That's affection.

22. I love love love telling erotic stories and I'm very good at it. I've never not gotten a reaction.

23. I goaded two men on a ferry to have sex with me when I was seventeen, but they said, after some conversation, that I was too young, and they respected me. Lesson from that is: Sex ≠ respect. Again.

24. Non-consensual, real life sex makes me physically ill. Occasionally I drift back to old habits and check out some simulated rape videos, but I always come back to the same conclusion. No exceptions.

25. My boyfriend is the most patient person I know. We're about to have our first anniversary, he's a healthy 18-year-old boy, and he's never pressured me into sex. His most repeated and honest phrase during make-out/fondling/fingering/jerking time is "Only if you want to." I want to tell him I love him, but I have this strange, old-school idea that you only say that to family members. Dating, engaged, or married. I say it jokingly to friends, but I've never said it seriously to anyone when it wasn't platonic, and I burn with embarrassment and a bit of shame thinking about it.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

1. I am a straight (ish) cisgender 20-year-old female.

2. I say straight-ish because I have had sex with a woman, but I would like to explore that part of myself more before making any conclusions.

3. I have had six sexual partners, five males and one female.

4. I fantasize a lot about scissoring. I love the thought of two wet vaginas rubbing against one another.

5. Even though I identify as mostly straight, I really like lesbian porn. Partially because of them eating each other out, a large part because it looks like both parties are actually enjoying themselves. Maybe in the future, I will pay to become a member of a feminist porn site. I think that would be really fucking cool.

6. I really really really love being eaten out. All my sexual partners have enjoyed giving me head or have wanted to give me head. I think that it would be a dealbreaker if a partner didn't like oral sex.

7. One of my best sexual relationships was with a guy with whom I never engaged in oral sex or PIV sex. I still fantasize about him a lot and I really hope we have sex in the future.

8. I love hearing myself moan. It gives me goosebumps.

9. I love oral piercings. They are really fun to play with while I'm making out with someone. I've kissed someone with a vertical labret piercing and with a tongue piercing.

10. I think pierced nipples are super hot and I really want to get my own pierced.

11. I think I'm a little fat, but I don't really care. If you're not into my body, obviously you don't need to see me naked.

12. I'm still trying to figure out what gets me off. I want to work up to having orgasms where I can't move. I love grinding motions and that often helps me get off. 

13. Something that really turns me on is rubbing against a hard dick. I love feeling our bodies rub against one another.

14. I have a major thing for Jewish boys. Or just boys with dark hair in general.

15. One of my proudest moments was when I got eaten out in the dorm showers at my college. Another one was hooking up with my figure model after drawing him naked. It was a dominance trip in a way, because he was naked for me. It was pretty hot being clothed and having him naked.

16. As much as I like receiving head, I love giving head too. I like to share pleasure.

17. I would love to be tied up during sex. I am interested in the bondage and domination aspects of BDSM, but I'm kind of afraid of the pain parts. That's not to say that I don't like rough sex, however. I'd get really bored if we just "made love" all the time.

18. I am interested in being dominant and being submissive. I need different things at different times.

19. I have only had PIV sex twice with one partner. He was my first boyfriend. We were together for six months. I still feel guilty about that relationship because I feel like I was in it for the wrong reasons, namely just to have a boyfriend. He was pretty misogynistic and could be very manipulative at times. He would spend a lot of time trying to convince me to do more than I was comfortable with. This is why I'm waiting until I'm extremely comfortable with someone to have PIV sex. It doesn't necessarily need to be a boyfriend; I can think of some friends I'd probably have PIV sex with.

20. I like to cuddle, but I don't really like to spoon while I sleep. I feel the need to move around.

21. Anal sex is an interesting prospect, but it makes me anxious because of the poop. I am slightly OCD when it comes to germs, and I don't want poop somewhere I'm gonna put my mouth or whatever. Same goes with pee. If you're into that, that's OK--I'm just not really into it.

22. I really like hickies. Especially if they're on the insides of my legs or on my breasts. It really turns me on to look at them and remember how I got them.

23. I don't really need to be penetrated at this point to get off (this may change).

24. There were naked pictures of me for someone's senior art project in our college's library. I felt anxious about this at first, but then I found it to be extremely empowering.

25. Finally, I love biting. Biting is really fun for me. But you have to not just chomp down. That hurts and isn't sexy for me.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

1. I am a bisexual man in my late twenties. I currently am in a relationship with another man.

2. The man I am together with is my first same-sex partner. We've been together for about half a year now.

3. Before that, I was in a relationship with a woman, but she broke up with me.

4. I always fantasized about sex with men, but I didn't try it as long as I was in a relationship. When I am in a relationship, I am law-abiding and do not cheat on my partner.

5. When my last girlfriend broke up with me, I decided to try sex with men. I started an affair with the guy I am together with now. We met each other online. It was only sex, no feelings, no kissing. We met, fucked and left each other. It went like this for some months.

6. With time, our relationship changed and we started talking and having a few beers after sex. I guess we developed something like a friendship-plus, but the  plus was there before the friendship was.

7. One day after work, he called me and asked me if I'd like to come over. We sat in his flat and had some beers, when he suddenly sat over next to me and kissed me. I was really surprised, but I somehow liked it. It may sound strange, but even though we were making out for several months, I never really thought that our relationship could turn this way. However, the night that followed had the most intense sex I ever had. Since then, we've been a couple.

8. I am a bottom. I enjoy getting fucked, but I don't care that much about fucking actively. I also like receiving a blowjob. Giving head is OK to me. I like it to feel how much pleasure I can give that way. Sometimes I enjoy swallowing come, but that really depends on my mood. Usually I swallow when he is coming into my mouth. When I had sex with girls I always loved it when they swallowed, so I do now, too.

9. I can orgasm from passive anal sex. The orgasms I get this way are so much better than the ones I get from stimulating my penis. I don't come every time, mostly because it takes quite long to get me stimulated enough that I can come.

10. My preferences match my boyfriend's quite well. He doesn't like getting fucked that much. So he definitely is the more active party in bed. I've only fucked him two or three times.

11. My favorite position is riding cowboy-style,  with my boyfriend sitting. I like the penetration that way. Unfortunately, I don't come that way. To bring me to an orgasm, missionary position is the best. So our sex mostly ends in this position.

12. I really love making out. I could spend hours just kissing and touching each other's bodies - it nonetheless always leads to sex in the end anyway. I also really enjoy undressing each other slowly.

13. Since my partner and I are both working a lot, we don't have sex really regularly. Sometimes we don't see each other for a week or more, even if we live in the same town. Despite that, we mostly do it three or four times in a row when we meet each other after some time.

14. We do not live like a couple in public. But it's not like we are hiding it. If someoe asks me I say that I have a boyfriend but I do not deal with it offensively. I guess my boyfriend does it the same way. If we stay together longer, we may change it one day, but for now this is perfectly fine.

15. I like porn. In many ways. I like watching it. and also reading hentai manga. My favorite genres with manga are yaoi (gay) and yuri (lesbian). When it comes to porn movies, my favorite genres change from time to time. Most of the time it is amateur porn. I like to watch normal people doing it and not professionals.

16. My favorite porn genre for a long time was she-male sex. Recently I started watching lesbian sex. Generally everything turns me on that is playing with gender roles and crossing them.

17. What I really like about sex with girls is the taste of their vagina and their breasts. I really enjoy licking a girl and touching her breasts and playing with them.

18.  I don't care much about BDSM. I think I would try it if my partner wanted to, but neither giving nor receiving pain turns me on. Some spanking during sex is OK, but i don't like it too much.

19. I usually prefer slow sex. I like when I can touch my partner and enjoy the intensity of feeling him inside. Sometimes rough sex really turns me on, but those cases are rare. I also like it when my partner comes inside me and then leaves his penis inside for some moments until it almost slips out on its own.

20. We've only done it without a condom for some weeks now. We got ourselves tested before we decided to do it without. I've never slept with someone without a condom without being tested first. I am quite afraid of AIDS and other STDs.

21. I do not identify as a cross-dresser, but sometimes I wear woman's underwear. I like the feeling of it on the skin, and the cute looks. I posses a few pieces, mostly tangas and strings, most of them open-crotch. I enjoy sex still wearing the underwear a lot.

22. Some days I've gone out with woman's underwear on. I enjoy the feeling that no one knows what you are wearing underneath. But I'm too shy to do it very often. Mostly I wear the panties underneath boxers.

23. In general, lingerie is a real turnon for me. I like that you cannot see the things you like to, but you need to imagine.

24. My affection for female underwear is somehow strange, since I am a very manly guy, judging by looks.

25. I like to try sex toys. I have a dildo, but I didn't use it for some time. The first thing on my list will be a butt plug. I was also talking with my boyfriend about a cock ring to intensify his orgasms.    

Sunday, November 25, 2012

1. I am a lesbian in my early twenties. My gender is hard to pin down. I usually  go with genderfluid. My presentation is more feminine with tomboyish  undertones.

2. I'm a bit of an amateur porn connoisseur. There tends to be more chemistry between humans who are not paid actors. Outside of the obvious reason, I enjoy amateur porn because I like to dissect the relationships between partners.

3. Generally speaking, I prefer to watch heterosexual porn. I can never get past the botox, breast implants, and the staged atmosphere of male-targeted lesbian porn to find any of it arousing.

4. I sometimes envision myself as being in the role of the man while watching porn. This terrified me at first, as I thought it implied that I was transgender.

5. There is one video where a Black woman is straddling the face of a Black man, who is on his back, pleasuring himself with his hand. Their positions do not change for the entire film. She climaxes multiple times, and he ejaculates near the end. It's hot because it disrupts the heterosexual narrative that penis-in-vagina sex is superior to all other sexual acts.

6. There is one amateur lesbian video of a buxom blonde and slender brunette which is nearly perfect. I’ve watched it dozens of times over the last few years.

7. I climax more easily while lying on my stomach. Few women have gotten me off while I was on my back. I have to be incredibly comfortable around someone in order be okay with feeling that vulnerable.

8. I had sex for the first time at 19. It was with a 40-something-year-old Guatemalan man. Whether I consented or not is up for interpretation. I was drunk, and in love with a girl living in the same city.

9. I had my first orgasm at 14, while lying on top of a body pillow. I started shifting my hips, and it just kind of... happened.

10. Melina Kanakaredes was one of the first women I fantasized about. This was when "Providence" was still on the air. I thought I only wanted her to be my sister. In retrospect, I know better.

11. I prefer sex to be versatile. I like to touch and be touched.

12. I have been in a dominant-submissive relationship before. It was erotic at first, yet I quickly became bored with being shoved into the same role each time we fooled around.

13. The same woman mentioned in #12 encouraged me to enact a rape fantasy with her.

14. While my relationship following the one in #11 was incredibly versatile, the woman was the one who exclusively wore the strap-on. I didn't mind, as it wasn't our only means of lovemaking.

15. I deep-throated #14’s baby blue strap-on.

16. I have fisted a woman before upon her request.

17. I prefer clitoral stimulation. I’ve never had a vaginal orgasm before.

18. I am subconsciously attracted to women based upon their waist-to-hip ratio. I almost always go for the curvier girls.

19. Digital penetration is more intimate for me than oral sex. I feel like a woman could do more damage with her fingers than her mouth.

20. My clitoris is so sensitive that I rarely need direct simulation to achieve orgasm. All it takes is a partner moving her fingers against my inner labia. I do not like having my clit sucked--it always feels a little painful.

21. If I am control of a sexual act/topping my partner, I can almost always climax when she does. It doesn’t matter if I am being touched, or if I am rubbing against her thigh.

22. If I am ticklish when you touch me, odds are good that I’m still not 100% comfortable around you.

23. When I was eight, I asked my 13 year-old female babysitter how babies were made. She took me into her bedroom. I straddled her, fully clothed, and she kissed me on specific places, and I responded by doing to same to her. “This is how adults make love,” she’d told me.

24. That same woman has now aged, has two children, and has been divorced twice.

25. My masturbation cycles are erratic. Sometimes, I will have an every-other-day routine. Others, I will touch myself multiple times in a day.

Friday, November 23, 2012

1. I am a 29-year-old man. I mostly identify as male, but I don't agree with the standard behaviors expected from men (aggressiveness, initiative, dominance, etc.)

2. I am platonically attracted to women and physically attracted to men.

3. I was a virgin until age 28, when a stranger I met in a bus crossed my gaze and, after many hidden bumps and touches, gave me his number. When I went to his apartment, I insisted (perhaps too many times) that I didn't want anything anal, and he accepted it. I consider myself lucky that my first time was with someone who treated me with gentleness and respect. We haven't seen each other since.

4. When my older brother went through puberty, his body turned considerably uglier in my eyes, and I was terrified that the same would happen to me. I was revolted by my own puberty until I finally noticed that my body was not doomed to mimic his. I'm more or less glad with how it turned out.

5. I would like more chest hair, though. I have a fair amount, but I'd like lots more.

6. Women wearing a tie look extremely sexy to me. In fact, I think I like drag kings.

7. Contrary to what my friends may think, I very much do really badly want to have sex. It's just that I never learned how to get it. I'm afraid I never will.

8. I don't think I would enjoy pain in any form.

9. As a kid I would envy my sister's dolls. My mother let me play with them once, but I felt there was something very wrong about it. I dared not do it again.

10. My mother always chastised me when I didn't walk "manly" enough.

11. I remember some moments as a child when I felt I'd like to be a girl. Today I still see women as the luckier ones in this world.

12. I liked the smell of my mother's lipstick. I would put it under my nose and breathe for several seconds, afraid that my mother would find me and mistakenly conclude that I was about to put it on.

13. Two or three times I have tried to let my hair grow to my shoulders, but I've never been able to learn how to comb and style it properly.

14. I get idiotically nervous around beautiful women. And men, but they don't seem to notice.

15. I don't watch pornography. Sometimes I masturbate to photos of athletes or actors, but that's about it. I strongly dislike anything more hardcore than that.

16. My nipples are the center of the universe. Touch them and I'm yours.

17. I began masturbating at age 9, even before I had erections. I rubbed my penis against the inside of my underpants, and I remember perfectly the surprise and puzzlement of my first orgasm.

18. When I started to have erections, I had to explore different masturbation methods. My orgasms began to function very differently from that moment, even though I still couldn't ejaculate.

19. I never had wet dreams. My first ejaculation was during masturbation, at age 12.

20. I've never felt comfortable exposing my body. I choose shirts long enough to avoid revealing any portion of my belly when I stretch. As a child I would do everything to avoid going shirtless.

21. A couple times, during a shower, I suppose around age 20, I put my finger inside my anus. I didn't like or dislike it; it was just a foreign object that was doing nothing there. I tried to feel for my prostate, but nothing happened. That was the end of my anal explorations.

22. Only very few times, with great concentration and effort, have I been able to masturbate and have an orgasm without touching my penis.

23. As a teenager I often ate my own semen, mainly to leave no evidence.

24. I am very glad to be uncircumcised.

25. I fear I'll not find a life mate. I don't feel attractive enough, though both male and female friends have tried to convince me that I'm quite good-looking. But it doesn't seem enough.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

we're back!

Hi, devoted readers. Sorry it's been a few months since the last post here. We're back up and running, though, and there should be posts every few days for a bit.

Also, if you haven't sent us your list yet, this would be a great time to do so! (And spread the word about the site!)
1. I'm pansexual, an equal opportunist, though I don't believe "gender doesn't matter." It does matter-- it just matters less than the soul; and it is something to play with, not a restriction. I'm female-but-genderfluid.

2. My first and most powerful attractions were to beautiful, feminine men. I still hope I will find one someday; most male androgynes I've met are gay.

3. Regardless,  I find many more women than men attractive in both a physical and personal dimension. Walking down the street is overwhelming.

4. Somehow, I am still effectively equal-opportunity: this makes the fewer men I find attractive stand out all the more. Which, on top of sheer numbers, is possibly the reason that my three major relationships have been with men.

5. Those relationships have overlapped. I'm polyamorous. I'm still with the person to whom I lost my virginity.

6. I find roping girls arduous. I have casual sex with them, but I've never had a girlfriend, to my immeasurable disappointment.

7. With all sexes, I am profoundly gynocentric. I like cocks a lot, but sex, to me, is about vaginas. Mine or other people's, it doesn't matter which. Sex with men is about the cock's reaction to a vagina. I can't fathom finding my own pussy disgusting-- I'm honestly a bit sad for the women who do. I relish my body and what it does for me. (This is speaking generally, of course. I'm sure I'd have no problem having sex with an attractive transgendered person if the opportunity arose.)

8. Perhaps related: I have dominant tendencies. I feel most feminine when I am dominant. I think this is because, after a lifetime of encouragement to subsume my desires, I relish expressing them. That and I like to make someone feel... perhaps “objectified” is not the word: I mean something more like “cherished.” But with a harsh edge to it. I don't feel much in common with the BDSM scene-- this dominance doesn't have anything to do with a fetish for latex, feet, or degradation-by-feminizing men (which is honestly insulting to me).

9. If you burrow under the strata of my generosity, absentmindedness, and generally friendly disposition, you'll find an insane sexual sadist in me. Drawing blood turns me on. I have never acted on those desires.

10. A lot of women are submissive; and some resent me because I'm more dominant. If I'm honest, their sexuality skeeves me out as well, but ultimately I blame fucked-up gender dynamics for that reaction. Obviously there's nothing wrong with what they want, or what I want.

11. Though if one of my boyfriends wanted to tie me up, I think I might be amenable to that as long as it were an exercise in trust and love and I weren't made to feel submissive.

12. My masculine side wants to be gallant, heroic, boyish, rakish. One of my long-term fantasies is the elegant older woman and the pageboy (with me in the latter role, of course).

13. One of my boyfriends goes well out of his way to acknowledge and respect the genderqueer side of me, despite being hetero, and I am so, so grateful to him.

14. Gynocentric as I am, I still love strap-on play-- with women, but also with straight men. It's intoxicating to see a man orgasm in that position.

15. I was raised religiously with a powerful sense of how sexist the world can be. Becoming comfortable with my sexuality has taken time. When I was masturbating as a teenager, the idea of sex with the man behind me was repulsive: it felt degrading. When I tried it, though, it felt natural, and of course quite pleasurable. There have been a lot of incidents like that, but occasionally I'll try something that sounds iffy to me and freak out afterwards. I still can't give a guy head when he's towering over me, and I would probably stop altogether if he tried to face-fuck me (none of my boyfriends have tried it, thank god).

16. This is also so odd given what I've said, but one of my oldest recurring fantasies involves imagining myself in the male role of sex, both with other men and women.

17. I'd absolutely love to dominate a pair of bisexual (or bi/homo-curious) men. One of my favorite bits of porn features this, and it was incredibly heartening to see how many gay dudes responded favorably to it.

18. I'm becoming sad about my age, though I'm still in my twenties. As a woman, I feel as though I have a hard expiration date, and I resent the fact that I was most desired when I was jailbait and vulnerable and so, so much less knowledgeable about who I am, what I want, and how to get it.

19. I'm afraid of sex losing its novelty. In long-term relationships, I'd prefer to only have sex two or three times a week, though I have the appetite for more. A sense of anticipation is an amazing aphrodisiac, but I don't want to be howling at the moon every night.

20. The idea of actively desiring someone, as a female, is important to me. So much of the way we think of female desire is desire as the result of being desired by men, if that makes any sense, and I can't stand it. I actively lust after people, and after sex.

21. The loss of my libido I experienced while taking birth control fucked with me (ironic pun intended). I was on it for a year and a half and in that half, my sex drive died. It felt as though a part of me was lost. To regain it I changed my diet, began lifting, and began manipulating my hormones through nutrition and supplements. I've regained my old libido and then some (and now I can manipulate it!).

22. Masturbation is an important part of my sexual life and sexual exploration, but I can't help but hate a lot of porn. I know much of it is harmless, but each of my boyfriends have had sex problems as the result of it,  and I can't help but resent the rotating cast of skinny white 18 -year-olds that makes up so much of the porn roster. I just wish that     more realistic and inventive porn were more popular.

23. That said, I totally consume porn, both video and in the form of dirty fanfic, haha. I don't have anything against it on principle.

24. I do like vanilla heterosexual sex quite a lot. It's odd: I love the drama of heterosexual sex, the anticipation of penetration, the reverence I get, how vulnerable men are. But with women I feel more myself, and I feel that fucking gender is less dangerous. With men, there is always the risk of emasculation. I hate the whole phenomenon of emasculation-- I hate the inherent sexism of it-- but I also love and respect the boys I've been with and have no desire to damage their pride. They can't help that they were raised with certain expectations.

25. I guess that's why I want a feminine boy sometime. I want an ultimate triumph over gender. I want someone as fluid as I am.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

1. I'm a 26-year-old cisgender female. I identify as a lesbian, but am aware that (as with all identifications) the precise meaning will remain permanently unclear. In fact, I am a little suspicious of my own ability to articulate sexual desire, but I do not think that reflecting on my desire will ruin it. I just think we fool ourselves, most of the time, when we try to talk to ourselves about what really turns us on.

2. I've had 5 sexual partners. One was a 5-year commited relationship with the man to whom I lost my virginity. One of them is my current (also committed long-term) relationship with a woman who I love very much. The other three were friends I messed around with in the interim. Four of them were women. One of these experiences was an attempt to prove to myself that I can have sex without romantic feelings. Turns out I can, and it was fun and I would hypothetically do it again, but I was somewhat surprised and a little relieved to find that my orgasms are better within the terms of a committed, loving relationship.

3. I'm slim, but not super-skinny, I'm pretty happy with my B-C breast size, and I think my ass is probably pretty cute. I don't have a large stomach but my abs are not tight and never will be. I think about the way I look much more than I ought to. I blame the male gaze that has infected society like a cancer, has been feeding me messages since before I could speak...

4. My nipples are my favorite part of my body. Seriously, you could lick/suck on them for days and I wouldn't stop you. This is one of the secret reasons why I never want to give birth to a child. I'm worried I would lose that relationship to my own breasts.

5. I love wearing a strap-on. This strikes me as odd because I look and feel pretty girly most of the time. I never thought I'd want to wear something that protrudes from my crotch, but what a feeling. Wow.

6. Whenever I have sex while wearing a strap-on I fantasize about being penetrated with the strap-on. (I have always wondered if straight men feel this way when they have PIV sex with women.) However, if I do wind up being penetrated, I usually don't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I really can only take so much penetration.

7. I came out of the closet before I had had sex with a woman. I always felt a little strange about that--as if I decided my destiny before I really knew--but then I remember that that's how I wound up sleeping with a guy, I decided THAT destiny before I had any empirical knowledge too. We all walk into sexuality completely blind, don't we?

8. I have some weird kinks that I'm not ready to admit to myself. Old internet search histories would probably really disturb my partner. I really don't think I'll ever act on them though.

9. Tribadism is really amazing. The problem is that 9 times out of 10, when I try it, I just feel ridiculous. When it works, though... wow.

10. I have this twisted fantasy of having a threesome and gently tribbing with another girl on either side of a guy's penis. It would probably be too awkward of a position to hold, and I will probably never act on it, but still...

11. I fantasize about exhibitionism, but I tend to behave as an almost compulsive voyeur.

12. I masturbate frequently. Often daily. This borders on a political act for me. I think it's important to understand my own individual and ever-changing sexuality.

13. The amount of sex I have directly reflects the amount of emotional intimacy in my relationship. I'm not sure which is the chicken and which is the egg.

14. I love porn. I am a feminist, I am vocal about the harmful effects of objectifying/overly sexualizing women, but I LOVE porn. I do not see this as a contradiction. I think sexual expression is a key component in a culture that values freedom and I think that more women need to pick up cameras/write erotica/talk about what turns them on. If we don't, the market is just going to keep defining desire in terms of the male (usually heterosexual) gaze.This is why I prefer amateur or body-positive porn. But please don't sell me that lame "sensual," "romantic," "female-friendly" bullshit that attempts to define "female sexuality" for me. I'll decide what the fuck porn I'm into. Just show me people who are really enjoying themselves and I'll probably enjoy it too.

15. The anus repulses me. My own anus repulses me. I don't judge you for enjoying analingus but I'll never do it/want it.

16. I  have much better orgasms with my own fingers than with a vibrator, but every once in a while I like to mix it up.

17. I like women of color more than white women, and have always felt guilty about that. I'm white and I hate the thought of desiring race qua race, like I need a certain degree of "exoticism" as defined from the perspective of my bourgeois white privileged perspective... but their nipples and skin are just prettier! And freckles (sorry Celts) kind of freak me out.

18. I like women both chubby and skinny, both femme and androgynous, but I have never been attracted to a stone butch. Dunno why, because I feel a lot of personal admiration for very butch women.

19. Every once in a while I want to fuck a random male stranger. It's a fleeting fantasy that I'll likely never act on, and even if I did I probably wouldn't enjoy it, but it's there.

20. I really want to have group sex. My partner would never be cool with it and I cannot imagine a context in which such a thing could spontaneously develop, but I really hope I get to try it one day.

21. There are, in fact, naked photos of me on the internet. They're on a site with very little traffic, and it's unlikely you'll ever see them...but If I do say so myself, they're really hot.

21. I started masturbating around 9 years old and I used the exceedingly thin handle of a paintbrush holder. I think I did orgasm, but I didn't know what it was.

22. I experienced my next real orgasm while at a horseback riding lesson. I thought something was wrong with me and was very scared. Then it happened again. I told me mom about it but she didn't tell me what happened. I didn't figure it out until much, much later.

23. I've experimented with sex under the influence of consciousness-altering drugs with my partner. It was fun, but really, all I wanted to do while on all these sex/party drugs is talk. Sex is great, but I think the intimacy that I crave has to do with really knowing/being honest with someone. This intimacy is a lot more elusive than it should be.

24. I think that there is something that is fundamentally consciousness altering about sex itself and I think it's more than the happy chemicals and neurotransmitters that fly around in the bloodstream. I think that messing with the boundaries of your body, inviting someone inside, being welcomed in by someone else, reminds us of something elusive and primal about our natures. I also don't think that will ever be made into a commodity.

25. I wish I could talk about sex more freely and more openly with more people. I push people's boundaries too much, but I don't mean to be predatory. Despite the impossibility of articulating sexual desire, I think we need to confront it, to challenge the way it is used against it, to challenge the way we express/repress it, to understand its power for good and its danger... this blog is pretty great.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

1. I am a 19-year-old gay male. I am slender and I am from Kentucky, USA.

2. I realized that I was gay in the 6th grade and I told my parents in 8th grade. I then came out to my entire school my sophomore year. I've never once been ridiculed about my sexuality. Not a single time. Everyone has been so incredibly supportive I think my story could be a fairy tale or something.

3. I am 100% gay. I have no sexual attraction to women whatsoever, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like. I also wonder if straight men wonder what it would be like to be with a man.

4. I love straight men. It is such a stereotypical thing, but I do my best to respect their boundaries.

5. When I lost my virginity, I loved it. I bottomed that time and he was rather small so it didn't hurt. From there I topped the next guy, and the rest were back and forth. I have since had sex with 20 men and fooled around with somewhere around 50. Although these numbers seem outrageous, I don't consider myself to be a whore. I enjoy myself and I enjoy making someone else feel good.  I have only loved two of those people, and they both turned out to be crazy.

6. I contracted an STD, and I have never been the same since. Although I still have sex, I am not stupid about it. I was lucky once, I am not taking anymore chances.

7. I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic school for 12 years. I only thought my sexuality was wrong the first year I realized it was happening, ever since I knew that if there is a God, he doesn't care who I love.

8. I actually keep tabs of who I've slept with in an Excel document and it adds it up automatically for me... (business major).

9. I want to fall in love again. I want to get married and have kids and I'd like to find who I can do that with right now.

10. I am incredibly annoyed by the gay community and their demand for respect, but half don't respect themselves enough to not go half naked down the street for "Gay Pride." I believe respect is earned even though we should have the same civil rights, we do not and we have to work to earn that.

11. I use the terms gay, queer, and fag/faggot daily and think it's funny when other people say them and think that it offends me. Say whatever you want. Freedom of speech is beautiful.

12. Although I don't follow the Church anymore, I still think that sex ruins most relationships and if I meet someone important enough I will do whatever it takes to not have sex until we are married or whatever it is we can have.

13. Most people have no idea that I am gay and some people require me to tell them I am several times. I see no reason to make my sexuality the first thing someone sees about me, instead they should see who I am before I'm encumbered with any preconceived notions of the gay community.

14. Although I don't think I'm damned for being gay, I still wish I were straight sometimes. It would make my life so much easier. (That being said with no history of negative reactions.)

15. This is all out of order but I don't really care. I started masturbating when I was about 9, I think. I may have been closer to 10, but my stepbrother showed me porn at a very young age.

16. When I realized I was gay I thought it was because while I masturbated I had accidentally thought about men, so I would try to think about women... but it never worked.

17. I am a hopeless romantic.

18. When I am in love I will do anything for him.

19. Sometimes I worry that I will never be able to find someone to stay in a relationship with me and I'll end up just being a creepy old man hitting on guys 20 years younger than me.

20. I still am not over a boy I was with over a year ago. Every time I hear the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz I think of him. We were supposed to make Christmas goodies last winter while we were going to the same uni.

21. I recently had a sexual encounter that should be added to the script of the next "Eating Out" movie.

22. Sometimes I feel like I never want to have sex again, and I won't for a few weeks, then I end up texting a booty call.

23. I like to be choked during sex sometimes, I recently found this out... it makes things really intense.

24. I want nothing more than to grow old with someone. I want to live on the beach with them.

25. Shit is fucked, relationships will suck, but one day someone will be worth the bullshit. I know it either from the movies or I actually believe it.

Monday, July 30, 2012

1. I am an eighteen-year-old female of undefined sexuality.

2. I have struggled with my sexuality for three years, going through stages of lesbianism, bisexuality and asexuality as well as being both panromantic and hetero-romantic. It was extremely frustrating for me having no definitive sexuality. It's only in the last couple of months that I have been happy to remain undefined, but it's still frustrating from time to time. I feel like I can't affirm to my family my sexuality until I have a concrete sexuality to admit to, as when I first came out as gay aged 16 my mother thought I was attention-seeking and my father laughed. Any other conversations with my family about my LGBT activities have lead to laughter and confusion, and so I've given up trying to say anything.

3. I have had three long term partners, and estimate around 40-50 sexual partners. I'm fairly open about the number of encounters I've had, as I don't see anything shameful in being promiscuous.

4. I enjoy sex, and have two fuck buddies, both male. I have fun with both of them despite them differing vastly in skill and size. I choose to have longer-term sexual partners because, whilst depression means that I'm not in the right frame of mind to have a full-blown relationship, I get all the physical affection and attention I need from regularly seeing these people.

5. My first sexual experience was when I was fourteen. I had my first kiss and fuck when I was raped at a party organized by an older friend. The traumatic way I lost my virginity made me devalue myself for many years, and my promiscuity in this period was more due to mental exasperation than my current reasons. I have been date-raped twice since.

6. Penetrative sex is extremely painful for me, but has no medical diagnosis. Alcohol numbs the pain considerably, however it makes sober PIV sex impossible. Luckily I've had numerous sexual partners who don't mind and have been content with other ways of me pleasuring them. I class "sex" as anything leading up to a sexual encounter: oral, anal, fingering. We think that perhaps I am too tight, and so I have a project to loosen myself up a little.

7. I am hugely into BDSM, enjoying both the dominating and the subordinate roles. I have only recently found my dominant side with one of my partners, who has also recently discovered his masochistic side. I hope to try everything with him, because a lot of guys I've met have been unwilling to try such things and prefer to dominate me.

8. I don't enjoy masturbation.

9. I have had sexual fantasies since I was fourteen years old (pre-trauma). A particularly dominant one was of being a slave in a sex dungeon, as well as rape fantasies. I often wonder if I didn't bring my rapes on myself by wishing for these things.

10. I have a diary in which I keep records of all of my sexual encounters, disastrous or otherwise. I often read them back and it's so visceral I can feel it.

11. My ex-girlfriend of three months was a nymphomaniac. It is with her that I experienced most of my lesbian experiences, including a five-girl encounter. She eventually dumped me because I couldn't keep up with her.

12. I love being punished, to the extent that I will defy my partner to the point that s/he has to punish me. In the same way I love it when a submissive partner fights for control.

13. I have been told by seven people that I have given them the best oral sex of their lives. I love making boys cum in my mouth and swallowing. It makes me sad that a lot of guys don't believe that I can love blowjobs that much, and also that a lot of guys I know have never had an active female partner -- instead saying that the girls they've been with have just lain there and taken it. Just the sounds they make as it gets more intense make me smile. My ex says I have something of an oral fixation.

14. Despite my obsession with pain, I can't stand asphyxiation or collars, because I was strangled repeatedly as a child.

15. I find ankles, wrists and collarbones especially sexy. I like tying them up and biting them.

16. I have never orgasmed in my life, and instead get my kicks out of making people come. People always see me as a challenge, which I actually hate. Despite wanting to orgasm, phrases like that make me feel like a prize or a piece of meat. Even when being someone's "slave," I still feel like a person with control, so that outlook rubs me the wrong way.

17. I love cuddles, but not straight after sex. I do, however, like to talk post-coitus. I think talking about the sex you've just had leads to better sex in the future, especially if the other person didn't want to protest during the act - this way I don't make the same mistake twice which is important to me as I always put their enjoyment above my own (since their enjoyment is my enjoyment).

18. My first boyfriend broke my confidence to such a low unlike any other, and both of my other long term relationships I still class as rebounds, despite them being really good for me. It is with my last partner that I got my confidence up to its record high. I am so grateful to him and we are still good friends. As my Master he had a bond of trust with me beyond any I have with my family, and I trust him more than anyone else in the world.

19. I often think I am promiscuous as revenge at my father for being a terrible parent.

20. I really want to get into porn or prostitution, but the pain during sex stops me from doing so. I hope that one day that the pain subsides so I can get into this work before I get too old.

21. I have a brilliant fuck buddy who lets me try out all my dirtiest thoughts. Our next encounter we plan to try pegging, and his willingness for me to overpower him despite his superior strength is extremely sexy to me. I think I find boys and girls defying their social gender roles incredibly attractive just as I don't see myself conforming to my own social constructs as a woman.

22. I have size 34F breasts but rarely show them in public. I wear T shirts and jumpers so I don't get hit on just for my boobs. Anyone who does see them gets a (quote) "pleasant surprise." Despite this, plus wearing minimal make up, I get just as much attention on a night out or just around as anyone I know who goes out dolled up.

23. I love having sex in weird places. I once met a guy on a four-hour train journey and had sex in the toilets near us.

24. As for the example in (23), I gave him a fake number afterwards. I have an obsession with "perfect encounters": If I have a night with great conversation, great sex, and great personality, I don't want to see that person again for fear of ruining the perfect night I just had. Friends say this is an unhealthy way to live, but, especially with my depressive need to be single, it is probably the best for me at my age.

25. I love to be worshiped completely and utterly.