Friday, June 1, 2012

1. I'm a 23-year-old female. I identify as straight, but I would love to experience a woman.

2. I've only had penetrative sex with a man once, almost 3 years ago.

3. That one time was when I lost my virginity in a drunken one-night stand. I do not regret it at all, because if I hadn't done it then, I would probably still be a virgin.

4. I have had sexual experiences (without PIV sex) with approximately 10 different guys.

5. The last time I soberly made out with someone I was 16 years old.

6. It's been almost 2 years since I was last kissed or touched sexually, and it's exceedingly frustrating.

7. I am very open sexually, and love watching porn.

8. To counteract my sexual frustration and fulfill my exhibitionist nature, I get naked and masturbate on webcam for a man I've never met, and watch him masturbate. We talk dirty, but we also have regular conversations.

9. I first started exposing myself over webcam when I was in high school.

10. The different guys that I've engaged with online cannot understand why I have trouble finding men in real life to have sex with.

11. The first and most vivid sex dream I've ever had was about two women scissoring. I had fallen asleep on the bus ride back from summer camp.

12. I wish my clit was bigger, which is just one of the many things I would alter if I could.

13. I am sexiest when I'm dancing, and that is responsible for about half of the sexual experiences I've had. It is also responsible for attracting guys that are objectively more attractive than I am. Though I'm not unattractive, I'm slightly overweight and have managed to attract attention (though fleeting) from some really hot guys.

14. I like a lot of things about my body, but feel really self-conscious and as though other people won't find it desirable.

15. I haven't been in a "relationship" since my first boyfriend in high school.

16. The longer I remain single, the more I think I'll have trouble being in a typical monogamous relationship.

17. On paper I'm great girlfriend material: I cook and bake. I'm intelligent and cultured, but I'm just as happy indulging in lowbrow stuff. I'm sexually curious and adventurous. I like to have fun. I love to masturbate and watch porn, so I won't judge a boyfriend for doing it. I'm caring and understanding. There are many other qualities that would make me a good girlfriend, but I'm perhaps too independent.

18. Three of the strangers that I have conversed and masturbated with or for online were or are in serious relationships. I am a fantasy for them. A supplement to their relationship. What they don't get from their girls, they get from me. Whether it be intellectual or sexual stimulation. I don't feel used, because I get as much out of it as they do. I get no stimulation (intellectual or sexual) from men in real life, so this is my substitute.

19. I spent $130 on my vibrator.

20. Though my friends have more sex than I do, they are considerably more uptight about sex and less willing to communicate with their partners about sex.

21. I fantasize about being a stripper, and if I had a better body, I would love to be a burlesque dancer.

22. Hearing a guy moaning, groaning and saying "I'm coming" is so hot.

23. I have big boobs and a lot of ass, hips and thighs. I really relate to the song "Bootylicious."

24. I once had a guy tell me that he'd never been with a girl like me before, that he was used to smaller girls. Which did nothing to dispel the thoughts I had about men desiring thin women. (He couldn't get an erection with me.)

25. Both my parents told me when I was just entering puberty that "boys only wanted one thing," that I shouldn't give them what they wanted, that when they saw me dressed "provocatively" I was sending them the wrong message, among various other scare tactics. Thanks for warping my sexuality, Ma and Pa.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

1. I'm a 19-year-old virgin guy with an average body type, and I'm bisexual. I'm from Utah, in the United States.

2. I suppose I'll start from the beginning. I kissed my female friend when I was 4. It didn't mean anything; we were just trying to figure out what all the adults were so enthralled about. The only effect it had on me was causing me to dislike the taste and smell of chips for a long time.

3. I grew up Mormon most of my life, and only left about a year ago. I was a complete believer and followed every rule I could think to follow, but my parents never gave me "the talk." This resulted in me getting curious about why my body was changing while I was going through puberty. I googled the term "bulge" because that's what my genitals were doing sometimes, and found pictures of guys' erections underneath shorts or pants. This fascinated me. It was something I had never heard of before, and so the mystery behind it made me all the more curious.

4. I began masturbating late. I was 14 or 15 when I started. I learned it watching other guys masturbate. My mother would eventually tell me that masturbation was evil and wrong when I was 17... which I already believed from being in the church.

5. Despite the fact that I was looking at homosexual porn just as much as I was looking at heterosexual porn, I was completely oblivious about my orientation. I believed I was straight. I don't completely know how I missed it. It's easier to suppress homosexual tendencies when liking girls. I was more worried at the fact that I was looking at any kind of porn at all, than I was that I was looking at gay porn. All of my efforts were being absorbed into trying not to look at porn and trying not to masturbate. I never had a chance to worry that I might be gay.

6. All throughout, I felt incredibly guilty for watching porn and masturbating. I recall quitting porn for a month and repenting once, and feeling everything the scriptures would tell me I'd feel... that my sins were washed away and that I became as white as snow. Interestingly, I feel that way now, and I'm as sexually active as you can be while staying a virgin. Now I just know that there's nothing wrong with it.

7. I mentioned that I followed every rule I could think to follow. That includes not only the guidelines put in place by the gospel, but also guidelines put in place by my mother. She felt that I should abstain from any romantic connection to girls whatsoever. To this day, I haven't had sex, kissed, or held hands with anyone in a romantic sense. I'm frustrated with how inexperienced I am, and I'm eager to catch up.

8. Despite being a virgin in more ways than one, I've been told that I know a great deal about sex. And it's true. My sexual internet browsing included reading Wikipedia articles about sex organs and other similar topics. I like to know how it all works.

9. After I left the church, it still took me half a year to begin confronting my orientation. I was still terribly ashamed, afraid and nervous to come out of the closet. I had somehow gotten it into my mind that it's okay to be straight, and it's okay to be gay, but if you're bisexual, then you're just a horny bastard. It started with me being bi-curious, and then deciding that I'm attracted to the male gender, but unable to understand having a romantic relationship with a guy. I've since changed my mind about that, and I believe that on the spectrum of gender attraction, I'm leaning slightly towards liking men more.

10. I've since embraced my sexuality and my orientation, and I'm glad I did! I'm happier because of it, and now I wouldn't have it any other way. I appreciate having a hunger for something, because it feels so good to fulfill it. I also like having more options. I'm less afraid of rejection than I used to be. If I'm rejected, I have all of the humans in the world to turn to, minus straight men and lesbians.

11. I'm interested in experimenting with all kinds of things. I'll be like a kid in a candy store! It seems that almost everything turns me on, except for the obese and the elderly. I want to try; soft sex, rough sex, fingering and being fingered, penetrating and being penetrated, pegging, giving and receiving oral, rimming (as long as I can't taste any nastiness), and every position I can think of or research. I want to pick someone up by their waist and have at it. I  also want to have sex outside, in the grass. I want to be teased. I want to be bound or tied down somehow. I want to be slapped in the face real hard in the middle of sex. I want to have some playful wrestling with someone... something easier to do with a guy than with a girl.

12. I fantasize about cuddling.

13. I want my foreskin back! It pisses me off that it was taken from me without my consent. Also, I like uncut dicks better for some reason.

14. I'm generally submissive. I want someone to control me. That said, there are some personalities that seem like they would be a lot of fun to dominate.

15. I'm interested in threesomes, although I've received some mixed reviews. I'm wondering if it helps to have an even number of people, in which case, a  foursome would be more desirable. I love the idea of an enormous orgy, but I wonder how practical it actually is.

16. Although I'm a virgin now, I'd like to someday be in the position of being a sexually experienced person, and teaching a virgin his or her way around the ropes.

17. My sex drive is off the charts. I'm always thinking about it, and fantasizing about it. A few weeks ago, I masturbated twice a day, sometimes three times a day. This pattern changed after I bought a sex toy.

18. My sex toy is an Aneros, which is a prostate massager. I've had seven sessions so far, and I've been able to achieve prostate orgasms, also known as dry orgasms or dry-O's, ever since my third session. They're awesome! I highly recommend one for anyone who has a prostate. Now I spend less time masturbating because I'll often save it for the end of the day when I can use my Aneros. I feel all the more prepared to lose my virginity, because stimulation of the prostate leads to better orgasms, better control over orgasms, and more overall sensitivity to erogenous zones. It has also given me the perk of being able to tickle my prostate with my mind.

19. I'm hoping that I someday wind up with a guy who becomes interested in getting his own Aneros. That could lead to the best sex ever, in my opinion.

20. Currently, I won't have sex with strangers or acquaintances, but I just might with a friend (effectively making them a friend with benefits) or a lover. I can sense that I would value the meaning behind it, and I only want to share myself with people that I truly appreciate. I'm not at all interested in paying for sex, and I don't think I ever will be.

21. The first time (and only time) I was offered sex, it was a guy and his boyfriend offering me a threesome. I debated furiously for days, eventually settling on the statement that it wouldn't be good for a first time. They weren't very attractive to me anyway.

22. I'm hoping that I someday have a relationship with a bisexual girl so that we can both talk about how much we like dicks, vaginas, and other things about both guys and girls.

23. I occasionally like to look at futanari or transsexuals... but only the convincing ones (not that I ever get convinced that they were a girl born with a functional penis).

24. Sometimes, when I'm about to orgasm, my balls spread apart and elevate to the sides of my dick. I still don't know why. I've only ever seen it somewhere else once before.

25. I like to be competitive, and I would enjoy working a competition into sex somehow. My idea is to box a guy (even though I don't box. But I could learn!) and the winner would penetrate the other after the match. If I ever found someone who would be down to do this with me, I'm sure we'd do it again with other challenges, like arm-wrestling, or weight-lifting competitions. It would definitely motivate us to work out harder.

Monday, May 28, 2012

1. I'm a 20-year-old cisgender female who identifies strongly as bisexual. I feel somewhat insecure in that, because people tend to misconstrue bisexuality as flakiness or fake. It's really just that I'm attracted to women and men equally, not an attention-seeking ploy, but not everyone sees it that way.

2. I've been "sexual" in some way with four guys, but I've only had traditional "insert your penis here" sex with two of them. The other two used their fingers an awful lot and I've always felt like that counted in a smaller way. I've never been sexual with women, but I have made out with quite a few of them. This isn't for lack of desire to go further. The opportunity just hasn't presented itself. I figure I'll get to that point when I get to it.

3. I lost my virginity in the "usual" way when I was 17 years old. I wasn't particularly moved by the experience, but it tore my mom to pieces. Our relationship changed a lot when she found out that I'd had sex and her poor reaction upset me more than the actual act. I've only recently realized that I can't blame myself for her inability to cope with my personal choices.

4. Loving my body is a process I think I'll struggle with for the rest of my life. I've been told by countless people that I wasn't enough over the years and as much as I hate to admit it, people's opinions of me affect me a lot. I am certainly not as insecure as I used to be, but there's always a lingering feeling that I'll never quite be pretty enough to suit people.

5. I've been masturbating since I was 11 or 12 and sought out porn around that age as well. It was horribly illegal, but I feel like I was developmentally ready for it. As such, a lot of my sexuality has become tied up in the visual. I love to watch.

6. I keep detailed lists of every place I've had sex, interesting or not. It's become a sort of game to collect all sorts of locations.

7. I have a longstanding fascination with the idea of fucking two guys at once (more specifically, blowing one while the other fucks me).

8. Around the same age I started masturbating, I saw "Secretary." I had no idea why they behaved the way they did, but watching James Spader bend Maggie Gyllenhaal over his desk and spank her put ideas in my head that I didn't completely understand until I was a bit older. Which is a roundabout way of saying I'm decidedly masochistic.

9. I enjoy pain almost as much as I enjoy the process of making someone cause me pain. I was once described by an internet friend as a "smart ass masochist," because I teased him so much he wanted to punish me for it. I take a weird sort of pride in my ability to push people's buttons,  and though I don't do this as much with my current partner, I don't doubt I will after awhile. I'm a glutton for punishment.

10. I'd like to experiment with the submissive side of my masochism, but I don't know that I'm mentally there yet.

11. Collars fascinate me. I have a thin black bracelet that looks like a cat collar that I sometimes wear. I get a weird kick out of it, especially around people who I know are also kinky.

12. Getting oral sex has always made me uncomfortable, as good as it feels. I'm incredibly shy, and also, it feels sort of selfish.

13. I take a while to orgasm, generally, and it bothers me. Men and women with weak wrists, apply elsewhere.

14. Polyamory is of interest to me, but not a necessity for my happiness.

15. Whispering in my ear what you're going to do/what you'd like for me to do is a surefire way to get me going if I'm not already ready.

16. Birth control pills completely destroy my libido, but keep my skin really clear. I will never be on them again if I can help it, despite being irritated with my face breaking out more often.

17. I legitimately like being told what to do, because it takes some of the initial embarrassment out of it for me. It's almost like they're giving me permission, which turns me on in a weird sort of way. I tend to ask if someone doesn't make it explicitly known. I worry that it's annoying, but it helps me get out of me head enough to really enjoy what I'm doing.

18. My current boyfriend has done wonders for my confidence level, and while I appreciate that, I also worry that I shouldn't need him for that. It's probably not healthy, but then again, neither is self-loathing.

19. I often utter some version of the phrase "Oh hell, if you're going to do it MAKE IT COUNT" during sex.

20. More often than that I say "You're going to fucking kill me."

21. When I was having sex in high school, it was usually in someone's basement or their bedroom, and we always had to be very quiet so as to not alert various parents and family members. This frustrated me, because I do make a bit of noise. To circumvent that, I bit pillows to quiet down. I still tend to bite things, but I really loathe forcing myself to be quiet. It feels disingenuous.

22. Drunk sex is either a terrible or great idea, depending on who you're doing it with and how you're doing it.

23. Being choked is something I never thought I would enjoy. It legitimately frightened me until my current boyfriend tried it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't panic a little bit when he grabs me, but it's a healthy panic. It's a fear I can explore in a safe way, because I trust him not to take it too far and to stop if I point out his taking it too far.

24. The first blowjob I ever gave ended with me grinning and saying "tasty." I really enjoy giving them. There's an odd sense of satisfaction involved with getting someone off. I dunno. It's probably the people pleaser in me peeking out. I have legitimate jaw problems and I would sooner take post-coital aspirin for the rest of my life than stop giving head.

25. The "and I jizzed in my pants" song tends to play in my head whenever my current boyfriend picks me up. It's something related to knowing he has the potential to have a lot of power over me and realizing that he doesn't abuse that. He takes it just far enough. It's a trust thing, really. Trust is as sexy as physical strength, more so even.