Friday, November 5, 2010

1. I'm a 26-year-old bio female in a relationship with a bi-ish man.

2. Before I met him I described myself as sorta bi, or simply declined to advertise. Now I know my orientation can best be described as submissive. I like to be fucked. The shape of the person doing the fucking is less important than their qualities as a human being.

3. I like loud, aggressive sex. Biting, hair-pulling, being tossed around like a doll, being told what to do.

4. I really like getting tied up and blindfolded.

5. Last summer, when I still thought of myself as a switch, I considered dating a bi man who was a sub. When he told me that, it was a huge turnoff and I crossed him off my list. Some time after my partner and I got together, he told me he's fucked other men. This is a huge turn-on. The difference? Boyfriend is dominant. Dominance (without arrogance) turns me on in a big way.

6. I've dabbled in consensual nonmonogamy but wouldn't do it again.

7. That being said, if this relationship turns out to be very long term, I wouldn't really mind occasional group play, as long as my partner and I always did it together and always went home alone at the end of the night.

8. The risk of unprotected penetrative sex really turns me on, but it's incredibly important to me that all actual penetrative sex involve condoms, at least until we're fluid-bonded and I'm using hormonal birth control.

9. I've messed around with women before and enjoyed it, but I've never been interested in one romantically and I don't expect that to change.

10. I'll probably never come out to my family as bi/queer/whatever. I'm not afraid of how they'll react. But I don't expect I'll ever have a relationship that isn't straight-appearing, and they don't need to know what I do behind closed doors.

11. Dirty text messages, emails, IMs, etc, don't interest me.

12. Until very recently I didn't much like dirty talk either.

13. I volunteer at a trans health organization and wish to make a career in same. I am utterly fascinated by the trans community and the process of transitioning. On top of that, the most physically beautiful people I've ever seen in my life are trans, and who wouldn't want to see astonishing beauty every day at work?

14. When I was 7 or 8 I played games with a female friend that I now realize involved sexual acts. We never got caught and I'm not ashamed.

15. I've been with my current partner for most of this year, and I feel firmly committed to him, at least for the foreseeable future. But something in me can't stop scoping out every attractive person in my preferred age bracket everywhere I go, and being slightly disappointed when I realize they're in a relationship or not of an orientation that works with mine.

16. I met someone online a few months before I met my partner. I was on the verge of going to meet him in person (he lives a couple hours away) when my partner and I got together. Online friend knows I'm in this relationship but continues to flirt with me from time to time. I let him, because I like the attention, and because I like telling my partner when I get hit on. It makes me feel wanted on both sides.

17. I'm rather overweight and was never attracted to skinny people until I met my last partner. He was rail-thin and dead sexy. But because of that relationship I have a hard time looking at skinny boys without feeling slightly repulsed.

18. I don't need my partners to be fastidious about hygiene, but I really can't stand BO, dirty hair, or gross toenails. If you can shower daily, wash your hair at least every couple of days, and keep your nails short, we'll be fine. I don't feel like this is too much to ask, but I have been teased and even mocked about it before.

19. I like being taken care of, to a certain extent. When I'm having a rough day, I like it when my partner offers to take care of dinner for us, or offers to help me with a chore. I don't like being treated dismissively. This is an aspect of our relationship we need to work on a little more - he sometimes thinks I'm too needy, and I sometimes think he's too much of a jerk.

20. The fact that my partner gets along well with my family and friends, and I with his, is really important to me. I don't like being that couple that ignores loved ones just because we've coupled up.

21. We don't always have frequent sex but almost every time we do, it's mind-blowingly good. Sometimes I wouldn't mind trading quality for quantity, though.

22. I can only climax once, tops, per sexual encounter. Sometimes I don't climax at all. Sometimes I don't even try, because trying to orgasm just gets in the way of the fun. Those are the best encounters, for me.

23. I like it when we mess around a little in the morning before work, just enough for us to get hot and bothered but not enough for either of us to finish. Then I think about it for the rest of the day and fantasize at bedtime. It's like a day-long sex act.

24. I very rarely think of my partner while masturbating. This has been true my whole life. Masturbating for me is a way to explore deep fantasies that my partners usually aren't even privy to.

25. My sister lives nearby and owns some very isolated land. One of my biggest fantasies is to have sex on her front lawn (while she's out of town). Partially it's because I have always wanted to have sex outside, and partially it's because of how transgressive it is to have sex on someone else's property (family no less!). My partner and I almost managed it, once, but he hurt his back shortly before and couldn't come over.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

1. I'm a heterosexually married, 32 year old bi-curious male who's only admitted this to 3 people ever.

2. I would be labeled as straight by most folks, though my preferences ebb and flow. Most days I fantasize about the soft curves of a woman, but a few times per year I'll have a week where I'm daydreaming of a young eager twink who'll show me the ropes. I have yet to find a pattern as to why my tastes keep changing, though I'm convinced there is one.

3. Even when I'm in a more male-centric mood, I usually fantasize about being in a bisexual threesome. I'm not excited by the idea of being with just another guy, but being in the middle of an MMF sandwich seems like heaven. I have a sizeable stash of MMF bi porn.

4. I learned about sex very early, even though I was a virgin until I was 22, mostly because I had no idea how to interact with girls and was terrified of them. My early knowledge came from reading through my mother's medical journals while she was out of the house. The first time I ever saw an adult vagina was from a doctor's training film on how to conduct a gynecological exam. This is probably the root of my fascination with specula and stirrups.

5. I never masturbated much as a kid until I found my parent's 2-speed Wahl plug-in back massager in the back of the closet. I would buzz various muscles in a non-sexual way until the one day I tried the flat head on my penis. It felt fantastic and I'd hit a plateau I couldn't describe. These were dry orgasms until I was 11 and was startled to find a milky fluid afterwards.

6. Despite hearing endlessly about wet dreams during sex ed in school, I've never actually had one.

7. The first girl I ever had sex with was in college and the encounter was expectedly awkward. She was also a virgin and very shy about her body. I was pleasantly surprised by how wet she would get and how her face would flush red and she'd stop breathing right before orgasm. We ended up getting married.

8. I love giving a woman oral sex! It baffles me how many men are put off by the act. It's like having a front row seat to the most incredible show on earth - and you're calling the shots! The heady mixture of her scent, the wet sloppy noises, the way she'll arch her back and shudder uncontrollably... I feel honored to bring a woman to that point since she's sharing her most beautiful, vulnerable moment with me.

9. I have a thing for girls with naturally red or black hair. It just seems so exotic. But my favorite feature is rather obscure - I'm a fan of "factory air", that little triangular gap between her thighs and directly underneath her pubic area. Oh, and pink nipples.

10. I've been with 3 women sexually - my wife, a long-lost lover, and a prostitute in a country where it was legal. That was the worst sex I ever had and I deeply regret it. But I learned my experience of sex requires an emotional attraction to who I'm with. I know now that I can't enjoy casual sex with strangers.

11. I've been sexually propositioned 6 times by people while I've been married. 3 of those were to be the third person in a threesome. I've turned down every one of them even though I'd have liked to participate in 2 of them.

12. I've had crushes on two guys before. One was a high school friend and the other I met in college. Neither of them knew about it.

13. I discovered on my own how wonderful a well executed prostate massage is. I haven't climaxed from prostate play alone, but I've come very close. My wife doesn't know yet, mainly because of my embarrassment.

14. I very much enjoy receiving blowjobs. It isn't just the physical sensation but the thought that my partner is likely experiencing the same empathic joy I feel when I give her head. I've had 6 BJ's in my life, 4 were absolutely terrific.

15. I enjoy porn but hate the mainstream kind with plastic breasts, fake orgasms, and scripted routine. I love amateurs, more imperfect people, sincerity and chemistry between the actors. I also like watching fetish films, the weirder the better even if they gross me out and I'd never do some of it.

16. I tend to prefer medium to small-sized breasts, and they needn't be Hollywood perfect. If you have smaller breasts, you should love them too!

17. The single biggest turn-on for me is an unabashed enthusiasm during sex. Everything else pales in comparison to someone who knows how to enjoy themselves and their partner with gusto.

18. The idea of female ejaculation excites and intrigues me. Someday I hope to witness it in person.

19. I was once invited to do BDSM play but I declined because I can't bring myself to exert control over another person. And likewise I don't tolerate being manipulated sexually or otherwise. Light bondage does sound like fun, though, and I have experimented with using a blindfold and a set of paintbrushes on my partner before.

20. Every so often I have a flashback of playing doctor with a girl when I was about 7. It happened while my mother took me to live in Mexico for a year. I remember seeing her bare vulva and wondering who cut off her penis and left a hole. She told me that she was just like that and it didn't hurt. At her request, I inquisitively explored her with my fingers. I never knew her name.

21. I crave variety in everything, especially sex. I've grown to dislike doing man-on-top missionary, as it has become exceedingly boring.

22. I've been on the giving end of anal sex twice. Both times she wasn't in pain, but it didn't do anything for her. I enjoyed it physically but kept wondering if I was hurting her - that proved to be too much of a distraction. I could never get into sadism. Inflicting pain, even consensually, repulses me. I'd like to experiment with anal again, even on the receiving end.

23. My first kiss was during a game of truth or dare with some friends at a campout. I was dared to kiss anyone of my choice. I picked an adorably mousy girl who would cheer me up when I was being picked on during recess. We went into the dark woods and I asked if it was OK with her. As we kissed she whimpered, shivered and her knees buckled a little. Sadly her parents moved her to another state soon after, and I haven't heard from her since.

24. I used to steal my mother's new tampons and hide them. I'm not sure why I did but it seemed like a fun game, though I had no idea what they were at the time.

25. I like to describe those I'm attracted to as being callipygian. It's my favorite word, look it up.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

1. I am a twenty-six-year-old female who is toying with the label of queer, but I generally just call myself bi. I'm also a switch and poly. I think that may be the end of my sexual identity labels, but there may be more...

2. I like both men and women, but I really do find women to be much sexier and appealing. If there is an attractive man and an attractive woman, I'll check out the woman every time.

3. I'm kinky. I love spanking, hair pulling, rough sex, BDSM of many sorts. My saying used to be, "If you don't have marks after sex, you aren't doing it right."

4. I'm a switch. I've had a Mistress, but sometimes I really just want to be mean and forceful and "take" whoever I'm with. I sometimes like the surrender of submission, but other times I want to rule my partner.

5. I'm not completely out of the closet and I have some major guilt about that, with all the stuff that's happening right now. To not be out is to not fully support the needs of the gay community, but to be out would open me up to discrimination. I'm going to be a teacher and I fear that being openly bi would get me ostracized from working opportunities, which I can't afford to let happen.

6. I've dated two trans women in my life, one who was pre-transition and the other who was mid-transition. They were both wonderful and I respected deeply the hardships they were facing. I never had trouble thinking of them as "female" and enjoyed sex with them both very much. I was occasionally troubled by being open about being with them... I feared being judged and discriminated against.

7. One of my exes was a bit of a furry. I once dressed up in ears and a fluffy fox tail for her, complete with little jingly-bell collar. I felt incredibly sexy and liberated, and I think it would be really hot to be able to do something like that again, but I'm not with anyone interested in it right now.

8. Another of my exes liked foot play. I masturbated him with my feet and he used to suck on them during sex. It was an incredibly intense sensation and I found it hot as hell. I kinda wish the guy I'm with right now was into feet...

9. I lost my virginity when I was 17 in the front seat of a Lincoln Towncar. Afterward, he bought me a fake red rose with a little bear hugging the stem. I found out later, he gave red roses when he felt guilty about something, like when he cheated on me. I still don't like red roses.

10. I've 'taken' the virginity of two people in my life, both women, one cis and one trans.

11. I still fantasize about the first cis woman I was with and wish I could have kept her in my life, even though I'm happy that she's found a life partner.

12. I really really want to date a girl again. I'm poly, but it's currently just me and him and I hunger for a woman's touch like nothing else. I don't even have the words to describe the longing I have sometimes to be with a woman.

13. Men generally bore me. I joke with my fiance that I'm only bi for his sake, otherwise it would be all girls for me. This may be why I'm beginning to think of myself as more queer than anything else...so I don't feel tied to any sort of balance of my desires.

14. I try to be incredibly open to new experiences in the bedroom. This is why, I think, I've had so many cool things happen in my love life.

15. Recently I was reading a magazine to pass the time and they had a quiz on what type of stuff you've done, would like to do, or would never do. There were only five things out of three columns and a whole page that I hadn't done. This didn't make me feel bad about myself; it made me feel bad for the women answering the quiz who had done so little and it made me feel sad that having these basic experiences was so rare that it even had to be asked if they'd been done or not.

16. I think watching two men kiss is incredibly arousing and beautiful. I also like watching man-on-man porn, especially yaoi, and reading gay erotica.

17. Wearing Axe deodorant or men's cologne, jeans and pocket tee, or things like boxers with my sports bra feel incredibly sexy to me and always get me aroused.

18. I also like wearing slinky lingerie, fancy panties, stockings, and dramatic make-up. This also always puts me in the mood.

19. Androgynous women are hot and I can never help giving them a second look. I love how bold and confident and open the look is.

20. When I get sexually aroused, I get incredibly wet. I've been known to even soak through my jeans. I think this is embarrassing as hell and it's always made me incredibly uncomfortable.

21. When I first started masturbating, it was to fantasies of being dominated and trained to be a sex slave. Abject and consumed by lust, imaginary me would fuck and suck eagerly even while claiming to hate it... and that idea always got me off.

22. The more in touch and accepting of my sexuality I get, the less I enjoy fantasies of being made to perform sexual acts. Now I just like doing what I like because I like it and when I masturbate, it's more often to images, stories, or videos of people having great sex consensually... even in the BDSM ones!

23. I've had multiple threesomes in my life... both m/m/f and f/f/f. I've also been in sexual situations with other people watching; the most memorable was when I went down on my first girl while my fiance and her boyfriend played with her breasts and watched us. The f/f/f threesome was the hardest to keep coordinated, rather like a part-sex, part diplomatic role. The m/m/f threesome was much easier, but the relations afterward were more awkward. I still really would like to have a f/f/m threesome. I'd also love to be in a threesome that involved two men who wanted to kiss and play with each other as well, even though I suspect that would be also be a bit more diplomatic.

24. I sometimes wonder if I'm not really just a lesbian and only staying in a 'straight' relationship because it's so much easier socially. I really hope that's not the case, and I really do love my fiance, but the darkest recesses of my mind torture me with it from time to time.

25. When I was in my first sexual relationship, the guy talked me into trying anal. I really liked it at first, but then when I asked him to stop because it started hurting, he finished instead. It left me feeling betrayed and hurt and scared of trying anal ever again, because I didn't feel I could be in control and trust my partner in that situation. It was only really recently that I began working on becoming okay with anal sex. My fiance and I worked on it together and eventually, by playing with each other and me playing with myself, I got to the point where not only could I enjoy anal again, but I have had some of the most mind-blowing orgasms during it, to the point where I now use toys to have anal during masturbation time.