Friday, July 27, 2012

1. I'm a 21 year old woman who identifies myself as straight. I've had sex with 8 men and 1 woman.

2. I've had two long-term relationships that lasted for years, but I have now been single for 1.5 years. Since this is the first time I've been single for a very long time, I've been quite promiscuous. I've had my first ONS's, fuck buddies and so on.

3. I've explored a lot of different activities in bed with my exes. Anal sex, rimjobs, heaps of different positions, toys and such. I feel that most of it has been more for the sake of checking it off some achievement list of things to do before you die than for the actual pleasure itself. I don't feel ashamed or regretful about anything, though--quite the opposite. I figure that I won't know what I like until I've tried it.

4. I find it really hard to get an orgasm. It's time-consuming and tedious work, and I feel pressured if my sex partner decides he wants to spend 2 hours trying to get me off. I can easily orgasm while masturbating on my own, though, especially in the shower but also with fingers and/or toys (even though activities outside the shower tend to take a bit longer.) When I'm having sex I usually decide early on if I want to "aim" for an orgasm. Often it doesn't feel like it's worth it, as it feels like too much work. I wish that it would "just happen," but I really have to have the right mindset and the sex must involve the right type of stimulation for any magic to happen.

5. I do, however, really like anal sex. Anal sex tends to get me off quite easily, ironically enough. Anal sex in combination with rubbing my clit works like a charm and I can even get off a bit too fast. The problem with this, however, is that I am a victim of shame. I feel bad and dirty for actually liking anal, and I've decided not to have anal sex with anyone that I'm not in a steady relationship with. This means that sex with strangers, fuck buddies and so on usually ends with just the guy getting off. I wish that I wouldn't feel any shame for my kink, as it would make my sex life much more enjoyable.

6. I want to be submissive during sex. I do not care much for BDSM activities, but I like when the guy is a bit rough on me. If I'm not submissive, I just feel out of place and weird during sex, even though I am capable of taking the dominant side. Both of my exes weren't very dominant in bed, and even though the sex was great and I had an orgasm almost every time we had sex, I still felt a bit grossed out and unattracted to both of them because of how they couldn't take on the dominant role very well. When I asked for them to be more dominant, they both seemed to think I meant by being rough and doing some BDSM-kinks. I didn't think it felt right, since none of them had the right mindset for it and I could notice all too well how they were faking it.

7. I regret some of the sex I've had during the time I've been single. Mostly because it was too impulsive, and while I did feel horny at the time and thought it was worth it back then, I just feel dirty and bad now. Mostly because the few people I regret aren't all that attractive, however vain it may sound.

8. Out of all the people I've been with these 1.5 years, I have just been genuinely attracted to one of them. The others have just been for some spontaneous horniness in combination with willingness to explore. But there is one guy that have really driven me crazy. It felt like "lust at first sight," and when I actually got him in bed, he was genuinely dominant and great. I quickly developed a huge crush on him and I still yearn for him.

9. When it comes to whether size matters, I feel that a huge dick is more aesthetically appealing than a small one. About half of the guys I've been with have had big ones, including both of my exes.

10. I've been watching a lot of porn since I was around 11 years old. My tastes for pornography have gotten more and more perverted every year. I've gone from watching vanilla sex to things such as fist-fucking and public BDSM/humiliation. I mostly watch straight porn, but sometimes also watch gay (male) porn as well just for the sake of the anal sex. I do not watch a lot of lesbian porn, since it's too vanilla, and femdom porn just doesn't work for me.

11. The sex I look back on with a dreamy smile is never those times where I've done kinky, perverted stuff. I feel that the porno types of sex I've had felt mechanical and just weren't that awesome. Instead, I look back with a smile on times where I've had simple but nice sex. Usually the best part with it has been how I've felt very present and into it, which just doesn't happen all that often.

12. My fondest sex memory right now is of when of the times me and the guy from #8 had sex. I was laying in my bed on my stomach. He lay on top of me, pushing his crotch against my pussy, dragged down my panties, and lay me down in the spoon position. He put his hand around my neck and chin, stuck a finger in my mouth while fucking me. Compared to a lot of the sex I've had, this feels very vanilla. But as I stated before, the fact that everything felt so present and awesome at the time makes me yearn for more.

13. I'm okay in my body. I've got bad proportions that don't look right compared to today's ideals, but I feel okay with it anyway. I usually just think that if a guy has gone through the pain of trying to get me in bed, he already probably has an idea of how I look naked and is okay with it. Which makes me feel even more comfortable in my naked body, even though my "rational" self feels that there's many "wrongs" with it.

14. I sometimes consider it a possibility to get involved in an open relationship in the future. I have never cheated on any of my partners, and I've never even had any want for having sex with anyone else than the person I've had a relationship with. I do, however, feel that I am more than just sex, and think I could feel comfortable in an open relationship if I met a guy I liked that wanted to have that type of relation.

15. I've had some threesome experiences (2 girls, 1 guy), though they just involved oral and fingers.

16. During one of my threesome experiences, I had sex with a girl. We were both heavily intoxicated and I don't think I did a good job, considering the large amount of alcohol I had that night. It was altogether an interesting experience, though.

17. I consider myself straight. I find women beautiful and sexually attractive, but I don't think I'd be able to develop feelings for one.

18. I think it's hard to say no. Not to SAY no, but to get the guy to understand I really mean it. I've gotten into a lot of sexual situations that I haven't really wanted to be in, and when I have said "no," "stop," or "I don't want to do this," the boys seems to think I'm talking some backwards language since they keep going. I will usually have to keep telling them to stop while trying to resist at least 10 times before they actually take me seriously. I'm not sure why that is, as I'm generally not the type that says "no" when I mean "yes."

19. I can't stand dirty talk. I just start to giggle and get awkward when a guy tries to start up some role play or talk dirty with me. I can, however, communicate what I want by simply telling so. But somehow I feel that the words sounds better in English than in my native language, probably because of all the porn I've watched. Whenever I want to say something in bed that involves vulgar words, I think twice to come up with a good way to say it in my native tongue without it sounding too cheesy.

20. I can't stand receiving oral sex. While I love to give oral, I don't find receiving very interesting. It doesn't feel that much, I find the position awkward and the whole thing is just boring to me. While I've been with a lot of guys that love giving oral, this creates a problem. While I've always said to them that I'd prefer to not get licked, many insist. Which just leads me to just waiting for him to finish his little cunnilingus project while I either do some vague and quiet fake moaning or try to break it ASAP just to get it over with, depending on the situation.

21. I have, however, never faked an orgasm.

22. I don't know how my sex drive is compared to other women's. I feel like my sex drive goes up and down for periods of time. Sometimes I masturbate daily, other times I just do it a couple of times a month. Me and my first boyfriend had sex at least 4 times a week, which I did feel was a bit much. I wish I had a higher drive that was more consistent.

23. Multiple guys have told me that I give the best blowjobs they have ever had. I first thought they exaggerated or just wanted to be nice, but now that I've heard it so many times I guess I should take it seriously. I like giving blowjobs and trying different techniques to find out what different guys react best to, I guess my joy for discovery is a part of my "skills."

24. I can't orgasm from just penetration, neither can I squirt. I have tried different techniques to make it happen, but it haven't worked.

25. I can masturbate to just about anything. I usually don't think about anything special while doing it, and I don't have to watch anything special either. I just get randomly horny and start to touch myself. But it's not that easy when it comes to sex. I find it hard to get turned on just like that, and with most people I need some foreplay. I do not, however, find that foreplay that involves some kissing is enough. I need a lot more aggressive touching and especially on my erogenous parts. The one guy that have gotten me genuinely turned on though, didn't need to perform any special preparations, as his very presence made me soaking wet and longing for sex.