Saturday, June 23, 2012

1. I am a 31-year-old Midwestern male. I have been married for the past eight years, and the only person I have ever slept with is my wife. We have been together since we were in high school.

2. I lost my virginity at the age of 17. I can remember the experience quite well. I'm afraid I was terribly awkward. We had been fooling around for months beforehand and had gotten reasonably acquainted with one another's bodies. Nonetheless I can't say I was used to being completely naked with her. We spent a couple of hours making out, and I did my best to make her orgasm manually. I remember asking her how far she wanted to go, etc., and finally working up the nerve to penetrate her when she said she wanted me to. I am fairly well endowed, and it took quite a while for me to get all the way inside her. I thrust for about five minutes before she got sore and then we just gave up. The next time we had sex it was a lot more fun.

3. My wife and I are very poorly matched in terms of libido. If it were up to me we'd have sex at least three times a week, if not every day. She, on the other hand, could probably go for years without us having sex and not be bothered by it as long as I gave her a hug now and then. I've approached her about this in every way I know how, and despite a lot of frustration on both of our parts we've never been able to consistently have sex more than one time a week,  and the majority of the time it's more like once every three months.

4. When my wife and I do have sex, it is pretty restrained. I am honestly open to almost anything, whereas she doesn't like to try new things. She doesn't like me to touch her pussy very much - if I'm lucky I get to have my hand down there for about three minutes. We will kiss a lot and then after a little foreplay we'll have sex. Sometimes she'll go down on me, sometimes not. She won't let me eat her out at all no matter how much I beg her to. While we've tried a few positions the only one she seems to like is missionary. I've never gotten to have sex doggy-style,  and I want to desperately.

5. Our sexual relationship has gotten so strained that I no longer try to initiate sex, despite the fact that she seems to prefer that as opposed to her initiating it. It just makes me so instantly angry when she turns me down now that it's not worth the lost sleep and frustration.

6. Over the past couple of years,  I've spent a lot of time working out and toning my body, running, lifting weights, etc. This has awakened a lot of things in me that I hadn't encountered before or had forgotten about. I lost 70 pounds in the first year I spent running. I find that I have a great deal more self-confidence now and am a great deal more libidinous than I used to be. I also seem to have developed a very keen sense of smell. The smell of my wife's pussy when it's wet drives me mad with lust. Sometimes I think I can smell other women's arousal but I've never had the opportunity to find out if this is real or imagined.

7. I have been masturbating since I was fourteen. Currently, I masturbate between three times a week to every day depending on how much time I have alone. When I get the opportunity I like to masturbate for at least an hour, usually with a fake pussy.

8. I have been looking at porn since I was fourteen whenever I could get my hands on some. I can still remember the first porno I saw. It was of a brunette woman oiling her legs and breasts and talking dirty to the camera. I still remember some of the words she said: "I know what you want to do, you want to play with my pussy. You can. Put your cock in my mouth..." I was so horny you'd swear I had peed my pants with precum.

9. My tastes in porn have changed a lot over the years, and can depend on my mood. When I was younger it was more about what I could get my hands on than what I wanted. I used to enjoy hardcore gonzo-type porn; then I got into cumshots and then creampies. For a while I was into BDSM. Now I just enjoy anything where the women involved really look like they want to be with the guy or gal that they are having sex with. I also enjoy softcore and movies where the woman is teasing the camera while she masturbates.

10. I've been searching for the porno in #8 since I first saw it, and haven't found it yet. Sort of an obsession, I guess.

11. I have experimented with anal toys, and while I enjoy the sensation of being penetrated and having my prostate massaged, I don't like having an orgasm with something in my ass. Seems to take away some of the intensity.

12. I think I would enjoy BDSM to a greater or lesser extent. I fantasize about dominating a woman frequently. I also fantasize about being used by multiple women for their pleasure while I am tied up. I'm not sure how I would respond to pain during sex. I've just never had the opportunity to try it.

13. I would love to try anal sex with a woman, both with me penetrating her and her penetrating me.

14. I identify as heterosexual, as I don't find myself very attracted to men. I occasionally wonder what it would feel like to suck another man's cock or have him suck mine, but I think this is more about curiosity regarding the sensations, tastes, and smells involved than any attraction I would feel.

15. If I had to pick one female body part that I am most attracted to it would be her pussy. I like legs too,  and breasts are great, but nothing gets me hot like the thought of a hot, wet, aroused pussy. I also have a thing for eyes. If a woman has big almond-shaped eyes they just seem to invite you in to gaze at her soul, and yet they consume you at the same time.

16. I often wonder what it would feel like to be with another woman besides my wife. There are so many things I am curious about sexually, she would have to be very open to experimenting with me.

17. I fantasize about being with women that are in great shape, not hugely muscular like a body builder, but hard-bodied nonetheless. I would like to know what it would feel like to fuck someone like that, to feel her sweaty abs grating against mine or her taut slender legs wrapped tightly around me as we fuck against a wall...

18. Despite #17, when I look at porn, I often am most attracted to pictures of women that are more heavyset, not fat or even a little chunky, just well filled-out, especially in the hips or the backs of their legs. I also like larger breasts, unless the woman is Asian, then I would prefer them to be smaller. Maybe this is just about proportion. I don't know.

19. I love being talked dirty to and I would love to learn how to talk dirty. I think it would be enormously liberating to talk dirty to my partner.

20. I would really love to have sex with someone who would make a lot of noise during sex and who would enjoy hearing me moan in pleasure as well. Sex with my wife is always silent, as she rarely makes a sound and she doesn't like it when I do.

21. I would very much like to participate, at least for a while, in a swinging lifestyle. I'm not sure how I would feel about someone else being with my wife, but I'm sure that the opportunity to be with other women would outweigh any negative feelings I might have about her being with another guy.

22. I have always fantasized about what it might be like to participate in an orgy. If I ever get a divorce I will probably go looking for a FWB type of relationship with a woman I could take to swinging events or clubs so that I can experience this.

23. Recently, my wife and I nearly separated over the lack of sex in our marriage, as well as a number of other issues. We decided not to,  largely because of the impact it would have on our children and our finances. At first the idea seemed like a good one to both of us, but as we got more serious about it, we would get into long drawn out arguments that would leave both of us exhausted. I looked at a couple of apartments that were pretty dismal, and the dating pool around here is really small... The whole thing got too painful, and so we're still together. I think that if there had been another woman for me to run to or at least a decent place to go, it probably would have happened.

24. I have been reading this blog for the past two weeks. It has opened my eyes to so many things. Maybe it's just that my wife is so repressed sexually, but I hadn't expected to see so many entries from women. I find all of the posts fascinating. It's good to know there are other people out there that are as horny as me.

25. Strangely, I thought writing these 25 things would make me really horny, but it hasn't. Actually, it's been surprisingly reflective,  and seems to have clarified a few things for me regarding how I view my desires and what drives certain portions of them. I'll probably still need to masturbate now, though.
1. I am a 20 year old woman, though I feel much older than that, from San Francisco but currently residing in Europe. I identify as straight.

2. I have had more sex partners, all male, than I can accurately count, though I think the number is somewhere north of 30. This tally has been amassed in only 3 years. If the topic comes up I try to act ashamed or mysterious because my number is not socially acceptable. Truthfully, I just like to have sex and haven't been in a monogamous relationship in which I can have a whole lot of it with one person.
3.The first time I masturbated to orgasm occurred when I was 16. It was my first real foray into touching myself, thanks to my long-distance boyfriend of the time who wanted to have phone sex. Funnily enough, we didn't really discuss sex, it was mostly about kissing and manual action.

4. I lost the best friend I have ever had when I was a teen because after we made out and touched each other she discovered she was lesbian and was too afraid to say anything to me. I consider myself straight, but she might have been the one woman in the world I would have been willing to try dating.

5. I am curvy, with large boobs and an ass. Some people, including my mother, think I should lose weight. And some people, like the man I am currently seeing, think I am beautiful just the way I am. I work very hard to think so too.
6. What I am really looking for is a romantic relationship. However, perhaps because of number 5, men predominantly see me as a sex object. And, because I like to have sex, I have difficulty discerning the difference between a man who has a high sex drive and wants a relationship versus a man who just wants me for sex.
7. I used to rub my crotch against my stuffed animals when I was just reaching puberty because it gave me sexual pleasure. It also made me feel deeply guilty.
8. I feel a lot more mature than the men of my age group, to the point of not being able to feel any substantial sexual attraction towards them. I date older than myself, by about an average of ten years. Wisdom and experience are so, so sexy.
9. My first experience with vaginal penetration sex was when I was 17. It was a friend of a friend and I lied about being a virgin when he asked.
10. I once hooked up with a man who I believe had OCD. He put on surgical gloves when fingering me and used copious amounts of hand sanitizer, both on him and me, afterwards. At the time I was a little weirded out, but now I just feel sorry for him. Sex is so much more fun when you can let go and be a little messy!
11. I like to be submissive in bed. I am so driven and determined in my life, it is nice to be able to trust a man to take over. Something about it feels very natural.
12. Unfortunately, on my journey of discovering my submissive side I came across a few very aggressive, manipulative dominants. I did a few things I really wasn't comfortable with and still eek me out when I think about them.
13. Sex didn't hurt the first time and has only ever hurt with men who are too long for my vagina. My vagina and ass are both extremely accommodating, I need a decent-sized penis to be sexually satisfied.

14. In fact, my vagina is so accommodating I have enjoyed fisting. The orgasms from the few times I have tried it have been insane.
15. My entire body shakes during a satisfying orgasm. Sometimes I joke that they are earthquakes because I am from San Francisco. Oh well, at least I think I'm funny.
16. The man I am currently seeing also gets the shakes when orgasming, sometimes even more violently than I do. When I discovered this I decided we might just be perfect for each other.
17. I went to a swingers' party this past year with a guy I was seeing at the time. I was surprised at how everyone looked like they were putting on a show. It felt more fake to me than a lot of porn.
18. I have had sex with a few Italians, being an expat, and the experiences were far from rewarding. Don't believe everything that you hear, the Italian stallion stereotype included.
19. I have a difficult time with social situations and do not like dating multiple men at once. It makes me feel beyond exhausted, and I really just want to be monogamous.

20. Yet I am an incredibly giving person and I know what I have to offer might be construed as overwhelming. I fear that I will never find someone with the same capacity.
21. I've always loved knowledge, and so I researched sex endlessly as a teen. After my first blow job, my boyfriend of the time didn't believe that it had been my first time. Really, I just used the tips I read on the internet.
22. In fact, I find most men are surprised by my sexual prowess. I'm never quite sure if it is a compliment or a judgement.
23. I have thought about becoming a prostitute because sex is something I like to do and I've been told I'm good at. I even put up an ad on Craigslist once but when I met the guy I ended up refusing his money. We even dated for a while.
24. Sometimes I cry after masturbating. I don't know if this is just a physical release or because I am really lonely.
25. Finding a balance of love and sex in my life is one of my major priorities. I think writing this list has helped me move towards this balance.