Saturday, April 10, 2010

1. I am bisexual.

2. I am biologically and mentally female, but in my sexual fantasies I'm sometimes a boy.

3. I've had a threesome once with a boy and a girl. The best part of it was making out with just the girl and feeling her naked torso against mine.

4. I get really annoyed when the person I'm making out with/fucking doesn't give my breasts enough attention.

5. The feeling of my naked breasts against someone's torso is probably the best feeling in the world. (Doesn't matter if the other person is a guy or a girl)

6. I love porn. What works best for me is girl on girl, or just a girl masturbating.

7. Masturbation in the shower is the best kind of masturbation.

8. I never try to take control during sex--I like being bossed around.

9. I like being penetrated, but I've only ever orgasmed as a result of being fingered.

10. I love breasts. I love looking at them, touching them, kissing them, anything. I prefer breasts that are round, firm and not too big.

11. Skinny, androgynous girls with short hair, tattoos and piercings turn me on.

12. I've made out with fourteen boys and five girls (some of them just once at parties, some of them several times. Sometimes I had feelings for them, sometimes I didn't). I gave head to two of the guys. I had sex with three of the guys, and one of the girls. I'm eighteen; the first time I ever made out with someone was when I was fifteen. I lost my virginity at sixteen to my then boyfriend. I've only had one boyfriend that I slept with, the others that I had sex with were all one-night stands.

13. I once had a one-night stand with a stranger in an unfamiliar city in a foreign country. It was the best sex I've ever had.

14. My favorite places to be touched are: breasts, stomach and inner thighs. I also love it when someone kisses my neck.

15. I fantasize about being hand-cuffed and fucked really hard and having absolutely no control over the situation.

16. I like skinny guys and guys that are fit, but not overly muscular. I like skinny to normal girls. I don't like girls with a lot of curves, but I find a slim waist and round-but-not-too-big hips very attractive.

17. I've never received oral sex, but I really want to. I imagine it would be way better than being fingered (not that being fingered isn't awesome!)

18. I think I'm crushing on this girl that I've made out with a few times, but she's very inexperienced, and that worries me, because I don't want to be the one who has to take control during sex. Then again, she might surprise me.

19. I've given head in semi-public places twice. Luckily, we didn't get caught in either of the cases.

20. I really want to have sex with the girl from #3. Like, just her and me. But she's one of my best friends, it would probably be weird, and I wouldn't know how to initiate it without just causing a really awkward situation.

21. I like talking about sex. I have a few friends with whom I can speak completely freely about sex, and honestly that's one of the reasons I count them among my best friends.

22. For a really long time I thought I couldn't have several orgasms after each other, but suddenly I discovered that I could. Now I always give myself two or three orgasms, and with #13 I think I had four or five.

23. I really want to have sex in a public place where there is a big risk of getting caught.

24. I've looked at porn and masturbated since I was little. I've been absolutely sure about my bisexuality since I was fourteen or fifteen.

25. I don't know if I'm easy or liberated or a slut or what, but I don't think twice about e.g. sleeping with someone I don't really know.

Friday, April 9, 2010

1. I am a 24-year-old female and a virgin (of everything). It’s not because of religion. I have no real reason for it. Most of this list is going to be stuck on that fact.

2. I’m not sure if my lack of interest in dating and sex now is normal. I’ve never dated and never been kissed. I masturbate less now than in my teens. I don’t want to be headed on this downward slope! I use to wonder if I was asexual but I think I’m afraid of intimacy.

3. I think there is too much emphasis on virginity in societies. It leads to a double standard. My virginity is my business. How, when, who is MY business too. I’ll let you know if I think you should!

4. Sometimes I am embarrassed to have been a virgin for so long. I know I shouldn’t be. I didn’t consider having sex until after high school. I was too shy. I hate when people talk about sex around me, only because I don’t want to actually confess the virgin part. I can fake it if no one knows!

5. Before I had access to the Internet to find out about sex, it was all from books. I just had to be very discreet with what I was reading. The book "Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex but Were Afraid to Ask" has a terrible, BRIGHT YELLOW cover. Even when you take off the dust jacket! This was never on my bookshelf.

6. Porn movies rarely compare to my own mental fantasies. I need a plot AND sex scenes. I have an active fantasy life and I love reading slash fan fiction. I prefer gay porn. I wonder if my fantasy life is going to ruin my actual sex life.

7. Often, I imagine myself as a man having sex with another man during my fantasies. I still like being a woman. I may just turn out to be a woman trying a strap-on in real life.

8. I didn’t get much of a sex education from my parents. I believe it was a short pamphlet by Dear Abby or some advice columnist. That’s all I remember getting.

9. I feel vaguely guilty and dirty after masturbating to non-con fantasies (between gay and hetero couples). I rationalize my slight guilt afterwards that it’s only in my head, and I’m not actually contributing to an increase in rape crimes. I still feel bad.

10. I’m more aroused by the thought of male bodies than females. I’m not really attracted to women but I wouldn’t say a definite no. I can admire their bodies.

11. Androgyny? Guys in eyeliner? Tattoos? Oh yes. Make me smile and laugh. Oh yes. Arousal.

12. Two months ago, I finally bought my first sex toys. The vibrator was too big. The only one that fits isn’t anywhere close to a normal penis size. At the rate I’m going, it’ll be a while before it fits. I’ll make sure it will. Why should I be uncomfortable/in pain during my first time? I’m going to make sure that I enjoy sex as much as my partner.

13. I’ve never had an orgasm from penetration yet. I never used my fingers until a year ago. It just seemed unhygienic to me before. I love my clit stimulator more.

14. I love the idea of being cuddled and touching someone and think about sex less now. I used to masturbate with a pillow as a child. Now I mostly cuddle with it.

15. It took me a long time to figure out my vagina. I remember the first time I discovered that I could insert a pencil inside. I was astonished it could go so far in. Sometimes I think the words "vagina" and "labia" are weird. I haven’t found a good name for my vagina yet.

16. I know sex would lead me to be more committed in a relationship. Sometimes I worry that having sex will make me lose common sense and stay with someone who isn’t good for me. This makes no sense. I can still date and not have sex and not worry about it... but I don’t.

17. I’m okay with not marrying (ever). But I think I’d feel a stronger desire to marry if I’m in a long term relationship. It’s a mix of possessiveness and a little bit of childhood pressures. I am also very stubborn when faced with pressure. So maybe not.

18. I have a deathly fear of pregnancy. I’ve had nightmares where I mysteriously become pregnant. I don’t want children. I see at least two forms of birth control in my sex life. Or someone’s vasectomy.

19. I don’t like seeing public displays of affection between anyone. It's part feeling like an unwelcomed voyeur, and part jealousy.

20. My neck and back are more sensitive than my breasts.

21. I hate my hairy legs. I have a great body but I hate all my body hair. I just trim my bush, though; I’m not caring about that part. I hate the pressure on women to be beautiful and perfect. It doesn’t stop me from feeling the pressure.

22. One of my inner labia is longer than the other. I hated it for a long time. I even contemplated surgery. I can’t believe I even thought of that. I didn’t think on the differences women had in their shapes. Now my idea is “love me, love my body as-is."

23. I’d be open to a threesome someday. But I think I would be too much of a possessive lover. It may just stay a lovely fantasy.

24. I’m making a list of things I’d be interested in trying out. It’s turning out longer than I thought. I keep finding new things to add. I love the Internet, it's opened me up to so many more sexual possibilities.

25. This is not so easy to write with my mother in the room. I hope she doesn’t turn around and ask what I’m typing again.