Sunday, May 17, 2009

1. When I'm aroused it is much more mental than physical. I find myself unable to keep my hands off my boyfriend simply because I love him so much. Sometimes I don't really want to have sex. It's confusing to me and because of this I've asked him if he's okay with taking a break from sex for a while.

2. I watch porn whenever I get the chance. When I lived in a single dorm I would watch it almost every night. Some of my favorite things are hardcore BDSM and incest. I have no idea where incest came from because in real life it grosses me out.

3. I've never had an orgasm from anything other than a vibrator. This doesn't really bother me, but I would like to learn how to with my boyfriend.

4. When I was 4 I had surgery to remove a tumor that was growing on my pituitary gland. As a result of this, I have no pubic hair and had AA breasts until I got plastic surgery. Sometimes I wonder if this is why I can't orgasm easily, because I never technically went through puberty.

5. In high school I was in love with a boy who was disgusted by my body. He frequently made fun of my small breasts and referenced the tiny bit of weight on my frame as disgusting.

6. I've since gained 20 pounds and the man I'm with now has always thought I am beautiful. Even before my plastic surgery.

7. A father in my church used to be very friendly to all the younger girls. Once during a camping trip he took me into his trailer and we were all alone. I can only remember him washing and kissing my feet, and how uncomfortable I felt. I sometimes wonder if anything else ever happened and if I've blocked it out of memory. To this day I dislike people touching my feet.

8. I enjoy looking at naked women more than men. I find them incredibly sexy.

9. I lost my virginity to the boy in #5. I don't know if I was actually ready, but he talked me into it. It didn't hurt and I don't regret it, but it wasn't anything special.

10. We had sex seven more times. Twice outside. He wasn't a terribly considerate partner and the sex wasn't very good. I never took my shirt off.

11. The man I am with now is amazing in the sack. Every time gets better and better. We have discovered numerous positions and neither of us is afraid to take charge.

12. I love being on my stomach while he enters me from behind. I could stay in that position forever, but I worry about making him do all the work.

13. His dick is honestly the perfect size. Above average length and just the right width. I'm kind of in love with it.

14. I recently figured out how to deep throat him. We both enjoy it immensely. The only thing I don't like is how runny my nose and eyes get. Real sex is messy.

15. My biggest fantasy right now is to have him tie me up and roughly have sex with me. I'm not really sure how to ask for this yet.

16. My younger sister and I used to french kiss each other during a game we called "Prince and Princess." She still occasionally brings up this game, but I laugh it off. It makes me kind of embarrassed and a little ashamed.

17. I had my first real kiss on my 16th birthday. That actually seems like the perfect time to me.

18. My current boyfriend and I waited a whole year to have sex. I was constantly the one asking him why we were waiting.

19. I'm glad we waited.

20. I really want to make out with a girl. I love the idea of doing it as a sort of show (even though I would be enjoying it). I guess it's my voyeuristic side showing.

21. I'm fairly sure a few of my girl friends would make out with me. However, I'm not attracted to any of them.

22. If I was a man for a day I would love to have sex with a girl. I want to know what it feels like from a male perspective.

23. I would like to think that I'm fairly skilled and adaptive when it comes to sex. In reality I've only had one main partner. But if I had the chance I feel like I would wow people with my moves.

24. In spite of the emotional abuse my ex put me through, I really do love my body. Even my curves. I'm proud of what my body is capable of doing.

25. I sometimes wonder if my current man is the last one I will have sex with, and if I'm prepared for that.