Monday, March 22, 2010

1. I am a 27 year old hetero male.

2. I lost my virginity when I was 15, to a partner I had been with for several months, and subsequently several years. Like a lot of first times, it was unremarkable and awkward, but we got better. She had been sexually active for years, and this intimidated me for most of our time together.

3. I am a serial relationship person, having not been out of a long term relationship for longer than 2-3 months, since I was 15. I have, however, cheated on every partner I have been with, some many times over.

4. When I was 7 years old I was molested by a sexually aggressive 7 year old girl. My parents would organise 'playdates' after school. We would play 'doctors' and sometimes her younger sister would be involved. Although I know this to not be an uncommon childhood experience, the enthusiasm with which she took to the game, and my meek unwillingness, left me feeling used and dominated, objectified. I didn't like it. I think this experience helped to shape my sexual habits in my adolescent and early adult life.

5. The cheating did not come from a place of wanting to hurt my partners, but a yearning for broader experience. If an opportunity for sex arose, I would generally take it. I would rarely seek it actively. In retrospect, I should have learned to be more open with my partners and suggest polygamy and the like, but was always certain that they would be negative and break off our relationship.

6. Some of the most beautiful and liberating sexual experiences I have had have been with people I cheated on my partners with. Because of this I don't really feel much guilt over what I've done in the past, only that I wasn't more honest.

7. Some of the most lousy and half-assed sexual experiences I've had have been with people I cheated on my partners with. Sometimes it would just be hollow and unfulfilling. Self respect and respect for others has deepened my experiences.

8. I have had very healthy and very fulfulling sexual relationships with all my past partners. I am a sensitive, gentle, giving sexual partner. Although I do like to play a little rough (choking, hair pulling, dirty talk, spanking, etc). I have engaged in roleplay before, but I love my current partner just as she is, and enjoy the connection too much to play games.

9. I once had a fling with a girl who insisted on fake names. I never got her real name. The sex was loud and rough and dirty and hot, I think partly because of the roleplay.

10. I was seeing a girl who had some emotional problems. One night she threw a pretty wild party and in the course of the evening cut herself pretty deep with a razor in her forearm. We treated the wound, it was OK. Eventually we wound up in bed and had some pretty awesome slow, grinding, very physical and wet sex. When I woke up later I discovered in the light that her wound had opened during sex and we were covered in blood. Covered. The realization that we had been smearing each other with it was amazing. I got instantly hard.

11. Only in one of my relationships was the sex life really unfulfilling. Because there wasn't one. Her libido seemed to just drop away and we stopped making love. Beforehand we'd had a healthy sex life, as far as I knew. Getting any answer as to why her libido disappeared was frustrating. It was difficult, because I realized intimacy is very important for me in a partnership. I felt guilty for wanting to leave her, but justified because we almost weren't in a relationship. I slowly came to realise that we didn't connect anyway, except on a fairly superficial level. I was a handbag to this woman. We broke up after not having sex for 6 months.

12. I am attracted to men. But I don't think I would ever sleep with one. The thought of sexual contact, especially anal, is kind of a turnoff, though I have no problem with homosexuality in others. I have queer friends. I have very specific taste in men. Rugged, masculine, sensitive, probably bearded. But I couldn't really define it without pointing someone out.

13. The closest I came to a gay encounter was with a friend of mine, a beautiful, feminine South American artist/drag queen. We got drunk and high and made out. He offered to go down on me but was too eager, and it turned me off. Maybe if the conditions are right, I could. Who knows? I am interested in an MMF threesome, but the attention would have to be on the woman.

14. The night of 13 I learned about some gay men's desire to turn or just to fuck hetero boys. Kind of like taking a virgin for some hetero men. I don't see the point of interest or excitement in either. I would rather fuck someone who knows what they want and how to get it.

15. I had sex with a virgin when I was about 17. She was 15. We are family friends, and grew up together from birth. I kind of knew for many years that I would eventually be her first. I was happy that it was me, and I could give her a safe and supportive place to go through it. We still had some problems afterwards, and fucked in a kind of love/hate sporadic way for years afterward, but we're close again now, and not fucking, and I'm happy for it.

16. My taste in women is quite broad, although I obviously have a predilection for petite, curvy women, and my friends say I go for redheads. For me, sexiness is much more than physical. True grace and confidence and courage come from within.

17. That being said, I love girls with tattoos and piercings and skinny jeans. Like my girlfriend. Seriously, seriously sexy.

18. My girlfriend has taught me the value of trust and honesty, not just sexually, but emotionally. I see now that the two go hand in hand. One benefits the other. Although I find some women I meet extremely attractive and have had the opportunity to go to bed with one or two of them, I have been uninterested. Well, still excited by the thought, but kind of physically unable to follow through. I'm in love, and want to share my body exclusively with my beautiful partner.

19. I still watch porn on a fairly regular basis. Erotic art is better though, or porn in which the participants look like they're genuinely having a good time.

20. Sex should be fun! It's play! I like to laugh and wrestle and lick and kiss and fuck.

21. My first sexual partner was a squirter. She would cum hard and long and loud. The bed would be utterly soaked when we were through. I thought at the time that all sex was to be like this. It was a rather daunting thought.

22. I have only met one other squirter. She was so surprised and ashamed that she froze up. She had no idea what had happened. Although I encouraged her and told her there was nothing wrong with her, she did not squirt again. I hope that one day she can be freer with her body.

23. I love giving and receiving oral. Love love love it. I'm good at it. I could live down there. If a girl's hygiene is good, I like the taste and smell and texture. I love that every pussy is completely unique, and so obviously belonging and suited to the woman they belong to. They are beautiful.

24. I have a large, thick penis. Though not huge. This has been a problem sometimes and a blessing other times. As a result I've learned that foreplay is very important, especially if the girl is small. I love long, drawn out foreplay.

25. Buddhism has taught me that all things are transitory. Desire, by its very nature, cannot be fulfilled or exhausted. It is desire, longing. This has relaxed my attitude towards sex a great deal. I now naturally look for a deeper experience, making the person or people involved more of a focus than the act itself. I want them to be happy. Getting her off can be a great deal more pleasurable and fulfilling for me than getting off myself.