Wednesday, November 3, 2010

1. I am a twenty-six-year-old female who is toying with the label of queer, but I generally just call myself bi. I'm also a switch and poly. I think that may be the end of my sexual identity labels, but there may be more...

2. I like both men and women, but I really do find women to be much sexier and appealing. If there is an attractive man and an attractive woman, I'll check out the woman every time.

3. I'm kinky. I love spanking, hair pulling, rough sex, BDSM of many sorts. My saying used to be, "If you don't have marks after sex, you aren't doing it right."

4. I'm a switch. I've had a Mistress, but sometimes I really just want to be mean and forceful and "take" whoever I'm with. I sometimes like the surrender of submission, but other times I want to rule my partner.

5. I'm not completely out of the closet and I have some major guilt about that, with all the stuff that's happening right now. To not be out is to not fully support the needs of the gay community, but to be out would open me up to discrimination. I'm going to be a teacher and I fear that being openly bi would get me ostracized from working opportunities, which I can't afford to let happen.

6. I've dated two trans women in my life, one who was pre-transition and the other who was mid-transition. They were both wonderful and I respected deeply the hardships they were facing. I never had trouble thinking of them as "female" and enjoyed sex with them both very much. I was occasionally troubled by being open about being with them... I feared being judged and discriminated against.

7. One of my exes was a bit of a furry. I once dressed up in ears and a fluffy fox tail for her, complete with little jingly-bell collar. I felt incredibly sexy and liberated, and I think it would be really hot to be able to do something like that again, but I'm not with anyone interested in it right now.

8. Another of my exes liked foot play. I masturbated him with my feet and he used to suck on them during sex. It was an incredibly intense sensation and I found it hot as hell. I kinda wish the guy I'm with right now was into feet...

9. I lost my virginity when I was 17 in the front seat of a Lincoln Towncar. Afterward, he bought me a fake red rose with a little bear hugging the stem. I found out later, he gave red roses when he felt guilty about something, like when he cheated on me. I still don't like red roses.

10. I've 'taken' the virginity of two people in my life, both women, one cis and one trans.

11. I still fantasize about the first cis woman I was with and wish I could have kept her in my life, even though I'm happy that she's found a life partner.

12. I really really want to date a girl again. I'm poly, but it's currently just me and him and I hunger for a woman's touch like nothing else. I don't even have the words to describe the longing I have sometimes to be with a woman.

13. Men generally bore me. I joke with my fiance that I'm only bi for his sake, otherwise it would be all girls for me. This may be why I'm beginning to think of myself as more queer than anything I don't feel tied to any sort of balance of my desires.

14. I try to be incredibly open to new experiences in the bedroom. This is why, I think, I've had so many cool things happen in my love life.

15. Recently I was reading a magazine to pass the time and they had a quiz on what type of stuff you've done, would like to do, or would never do. There were only five things out of three columns and a whole page that I hadn't done. This didn't make me feel bad about myself; it made me feel bad for the women answering the quiz who had done so little and it made me feel sad that having these basic experiences was so rare that it even had to be asked if they'd been done or not.

16. I think watching two men kiss is incredibly arousing and beautiful. I also like watching man-on-man porn, especially yaoi, and reading gay erotica.

17. Wearing Axe deodorant or men's cologne, jeans and pocket tee, or things like boxers with my sports bra feel incredibly sexy to me and always get me aroused.

18. I also like wearing slinky lingerie, fancy panties, stockings, and dramatic make-up. This also always puts me in the mood.

19. Androgynous women are hot and I can never help giving them a second look. I love how bold and confident and open the look is.

20. When I get sexually aroused, I get incredibly wet. I've been known to even soak through my jeans. I think this is embarrassing as hell and it's always made me incredibly uncomfortable.

21. When I first started masturbating, it was to fantasies of being dominated and trained to be a sex slave. Abject and consumed by lust, imaginary me would fuck and suck eagerly even while claiming to hate it... and that idea always got me off.

22. The more in touch and accepting of my sexuality I get, the less I enjoy fantasies of being made to perform sexual acts. Now I just like doing what I like because I like it and when I masturbate, it's more often to images, stories, or videos of people having great sex consensually... even in the BDSM ones!

23. I've had multiple threesomes in my life... both m/m/f and f/f/f. I've also been in sexual situations with other people watching; the most memorable was when I went down on my first girl while my fiance and her boyfriend played with her breasts and watched us. The f/f/f threesome was the hardest to keep coordinated, rather like a part-sex, part diplomatic role. The m/m/f threesome was much easier, but the relations afterward were more awkward. I still really would like to have a f/f/m threesome. I'd also love to be in a threesome that involved two men who wanted to kiss and play with each other as well, even though I suspect that would be also be a bit more diplomatic.

24. I sometimes wonder if I'm not really just a lesbian and only staying in a 'straight' relationship because it's so much easier socially. I really hope that's not the case, and I really do love my fiance, but the darkest recesses of my mind torture me with it from time to time.

25. When I was in my first sexual relationship, the guy talked me into trying anal. I really liked it at first, but then when I asked him to stop because it started hurting, he finished instead. It left me feeling betrayed and hurt and scared of trying anal ever again, because I didn't feel I could be in control and trust my partner in that situation. It was only really recently that I began working on becoming okay with anal sex. My fiance and I worked on it together and eventually, by playing with each other and me playing with myself, I got to the point where not only could I enjoy anal again, but I have had some of the most mind-blowing orgasms during it, to the point where I now use toys to have anal during masturbation time.