Tuesday, November 8, 2011

1.) I am a 28-year-old female who doesn't think the word "bisexual" captures all the nuances of what I feel.

2.) I remember being curious about sex since I was a child, although I never quite knew what I was I was thinking about or why. However, I didn't start masturbating until I was 16. That night was one of the most memorable in my sexual history so far.

3.) When I was in middle school/ high school I never felt very connected to my body unless it was through masturbation. I always compared my body to other girls' and wondered what they looked like naked. This was also the time I started to wonder if I may be attracted to women in a deeper way.

4.) Despite all this, I was still very attracted to men. I had a crush on my English teacher in high school and I would fantasize that he would ask me to stay after class, strip me naked and fuck me on top of his desk. I would have this fantasy all during class and I would blush whenever my teacher would look over at me. I still have a thing for older men to this day.

5.) I think about sex every single day.

6.) I once had a crazy sex fantasy involving Jabba the Hutt.

7.) I bought my first vibrator at the age of 20, and since that time have bought many more. I am always shocked when I read/hear about women in their 20s, 30s or 40s who still don't own one. I couldn't live without mine. In fact, I would say I am having a love affair with mine, and I'm not sure anyone could ever fulfill me the way "it" does.

8.) I lost my virginity at the age of 22 and it was amazing. I'm glad I waited for the guy I lost it with. I finally began to understand my sexual power. He became my boyfriend, and the real exploration began. We did every single position I think a body can twist itself into. He is the only man who has taken his time to ensure that I enjoy oral sex and come from it. By the time we broke up, I was able to come within 5 minutes of his tongue touching me.

9.) I have been with 7 other men since him, and I am waiting for the opportunity to be with a woman.

10.) I had a mini-three-way once. It was a disaster. My friend and I spent 45 minutes trying to just get this guy hard with a blow job, and nothing. We were both pretty annoyed.

11.) Despite #10, I would still like to try another three-way, except this time with an experienced couple.

12.) I love having sex outside the bedroom/not on the bed. I love it in the shower, up against the wall, on my parents' bed, the couch, on the kitchen countertop, on the floor, or in front of the window for everyone to see. I'm not opposed to the bed, but it just gets so boring.

13.) I love to wear lingerie, and I hate it when guys don't appreciate the effort you put into it.

14.) I love getting spanked.

15.) It's very clear to me now that what turns you on at 16 is very different from what turns you on at 26, and that your interests evolve. For example, I used to think #14 was degrading, and now it gets me wet. I used to like watching guys jerk off onto me and now I get so utterly bored at the thought of it. I used to be uncomfortable verbally expressing what I wanted sexually, and now I am obsessed with sexting. Nothing is narrowly defined anymore.

16.) My ex-boyfriend gave me a rim job in the shower once and it was so sexy. The most recent guy I slept with begged me to do it while I was giving him a blow job and while I was hesitant at first, when I saw how crazy it made him, I loved doing it. He has a pretty nice asshole for a guy.

17.) After I broke up with my boyfriend it took me a long time to find another guy who matched his passion in the bedroom. I met that guy last year and he broke my heart into a million pieces. I could not stop thinking about or masturbating to the thought of him for months. I don't know if you can actually crave another human being, but that is how I felt about him. I would sleep with him again in a minute.

18.) Some of my favorite porn involves watching a black man/white woman. I think a black dick is just so hot.

19.) More thoughts on porn: most porn creeps me out/severely bothers me. I hate seeing these women, with their straw-like blond hair, designer vags, and vacant looks choking on some guy's dick. I can always tell when men are heavily into porn by the way they fuck me. It is not fun to be used like a doll. I love a good hard fuck as much as the next girl but I think porn is doing little to show a man how to really make love to a woman. Foreplay is essential! Unless you only have 10 minutes to have sex, there is no need for rushing. Breasts should be slowly touched and licked. They are permanently attached to my body, so please stop twisting them like you are opening a door. The female anatomy should be a required study for men. There are a million ways to get a woman off.

20.) I frequently masturbate to the thought of women. I think a woman's body is so beautiful and sexy. Some women are so beautiful that they can stop me in my tracks. Watching two women go down on each other slowly makes me come the quickest. I used to wonder what all this meant, since I was still attracted to men and it left me very confused, but now I subscribe to the thought that sexuality is as vast and complicated as the universe. It doesn't have to make sense. You just need to enjoy it.

21.) What I wish we were teaching teenagers/young adults is that sex is nothing to fear and you are ALLOWED to enjoy yourself. There is such fear in this country about sex, and yet such an obvious obsession with it. Women are encouraged to be sexy at all times, but I don't think most people bother to ask "What gets you off?" I think a class in Sexual Communication should be required in all high schools and colleges. I'm also getting tired of hearing people badmouthing places like Planned Parenthood. You have to learn how to take care of your sexual health, and PP is one of the few open places for young people to go to. Plus any guy who has ever sighed a breath of relief when his girlfriend didn't get pregnant, you can indirectly thank the woman who inspired PP.

22.) I think sex is so much more fun in the dark. Makes it more mysterious.

23.) The older I get, the less enticing marriage and motherhood is becoming to me. My fantasy life would be to travel to many countries and have lovers in each of them. Each lover would satisfy a particular need in me. One can dream.

24.) I actually have a "fuck-it" list of men and women that I want to sleep with before I die.

25.) I feel that I am only at the tip of the iceberg of understanding sex and what I like.