Thursday, February 16, 2012

1. I'm 25 years old and identify as female, and bisexual - in the general sense.

2. Women are undeniably sexy to me. Of course, this is on a woman-to-woman basis, but certainly the physical attributes of the female sex are quite appealing.

3. I feel that I am more likely to "end up" with a woman than a man. I connect very differently with the two sexes/genders (assuming sex-gender fluidity), and it takes quite a bit longer for serious interest to grow with males. It's much easier for me to become emotionally involved with women.

4. I have very short hair, almost none at all - I shave it about every month or so. I also have quite feminine facial features, so I'm certainly not in the least bit androgynous. I'm black, a sub-Saharan African expatriate in the States. Strangely, there are very few men who are turned off by my lack of hair. For most, it seems to indicate a wildness and exoticism. I certainly, when looking at my body, see the appeal, but I personally don't understand how men and women alike exhibit such primal attraction to me. It is quite often that people compliment my body and facial features. I feel that though I have quite a colorful imagination and libido, bodies don't excite me as much as a quick mind, awesome aura, peculiar face and intriguing personality.

5. I'm frequently worried about being fetishized as a "strong black woman." I think some people certainly take a look and want to get involved specifically because of exotic fantasies regarding black women... the short hair is an added bonus, I'm guessing, to boning the African chick. It's strange that I have this worry, since I'm perfectly attractive. I'm sure it has quite a bit to do with some self-image issues I had in my teens - issues not quite exorcised.

6. I've slept with quite a few people, for my age. Over 15... 20? I don't really know. I also don't just sleep with anyone--I'm quite picky and tend to establish friends-with-benefits relationships.

7. I've frequently used sexual activity as a form of "breaking the ice." It's quite lazy of me and arguably not the healthiest of ways to engage in sex.

8. Men older than myself, those with noticeable crows' feet when they smile with their eyes, are an incredible turn-on. I once hooked up with a 31-year-old man when I had just turned 18--it was quite a rush.

9. I had difficulty doing well in a molecular biology course because I was constantly fantasizing about my 50-something-year old biology professor. I literally heard "blah blah blah," as any sound became background noise when making eye-contact with him.

10. Women are so complicated to me. I'm certainly intimidated by women, and often take my time with initiating sexual interest.

11. The runner's body is quite literally my kryptonite. Lean, thin frame and thighs of steel - irresistible!

12. Despite #4, I've only probably slept with 2 or 3 men who didn't have flat, hard, well-defined abdominals--I'm quite picky and it's a make-it-or-break-it sort of thing. Though personality tends to exceed even this basic standard.

13. I've only kissed one black man. Some find it quite odd, but I find that I'm simply a product of my environment. I'm not unattracted to black men, but those I am attracted to are in short supply and quite widely dispersed, such that it's not worth my time and not of any interest to me to limit myself to only those of my skin color.

14. I'm not really a masturbator. I probably masturbated 3 or 4 times in the year 2011, and probably experienced orgasms 2 of those 3 or 4 times.

15. However, I did masturbate frequently and daily throughout my years in high school. I was also somewhat of a porn addict, and watched porn daily. I'm quite the opposite now and I'm quite over both. Also quite sure I broke my hymen during masturbation. Currently, I use masturbation as a sleep aid of sorts.

16. I enjoy watching lesbian porn. By enjoy, I mean that it's the only porn I ever watch. I'm also not much of a porn aficionado--less than once a month and up to 4- to 5-month stretches without. I never really use porn for masturbatory material. It's fascinating.

17. I enjoy touching my skin, playing with my breasts, caressing my buttocks. I'm quite self-aroused. Which strangely contradicts the serious lack of masturbation in my life.

18. I enjoy watching men I've slept with masturbate next to me. The position of the permitted voyeur is quite sexually gratifying.

19. There are some beautiful and candid images I took of my ex-boyfriend before and after sex. He's a bit nervous that I may disseminate them on the interwebz in a fit of anger or bitterness, but I have no intention to do so. I almost never look at them, but when I do, his beauty reaffirms my belief in the awesome beauty of the human form.

20. I lost my virginity shortly after turning 19. Got quite a lot of work done between then and now. And to a guy I thought was a fool, specifically to lessen the chance of post-coital emotional attachment. It worked.

21. It's difficult for me to experience/engage in emotional sex, even when I've become quite enamored of someone. Well, it's much easier with women, but it takes over a month to two of consistent sex for it to become emotionally fulfilling and enriching. I'm certainly saddened by this disjuncture between simultaneous experience of sexual and emotional fulfillment. It certainly provides emotional protection with my flings, yet is a veritable obstruction at the advent of growing emotional connections.

22. I rarely used to have sexual fantasies in my late teens, but certainly within the past few months, I fantasize frequently--usually about no one in particular.

23. I've had a few threesomes. I enjoy them. I would like to continue having them. However, I'm well versed in the veritable role they can play in warping/fucking up relationships.

24. I have trichotillomania and pluck pubic hairs. It's very much a private thing, so it follows that I am often a bit nervous with my first below-the-belt sexual encounters with people. However, it's never been an issue, and it's not thoroughly noticeable.

25. I'm an avid nudist--tons of skinny dipping, hardly wear clothes when at home and deign to wear even the smallest scrap of clothing in the summertime. My pubescent fantasies of nude communes crashed and burned with the realization that though I wasn't going to ogle people, they were certainly ogling me. Nudity and sexual arousal are independent of each other, at least to me. So it's quite frustrating when nudity automatically signals sexual interest/arousal for others.