Friday, February 13, 2009

1. I find that #1 on a 25 things list about sex is really challenging, because I'm afraid it will say something about me somehow "more" than the other numbers, so I'm fudging it.

2. I have historically felt emotionally safer with men, but am currently more sexually attracted to women.

3. I think that figuring out one's sexual orientation is a totally different thing from figuring out sex, the activity.

4. I am currently involved in two relationships with two lovers on the side. Two are men, and two are women. They all know about each other and it's all cool. And that makes me happy.

5. I'm insanely attracted to people who have well-balanced masculine and feminine qualities. Androgyny is hawt.

6. I don't have intercourse often and I get confused when asked if I've "had sex" with someone. Do they mean intercourse? Orgasms? Hours of sensual massage? I'm not being coy... I really don't know.

7. I hate the phrase "losing your virginity" and can work myself into a huge tizzy over it.

8. I was 20 before I had intercourse, but between 16 and 20 I had a decent amount of sex. This probably explains a lot about the previous two statements.

9. At the moment, I can't imagine fucking bio-cock without using a condom.

10. When I was younger, I was mostly attracted to people's intellect and the sexual element followed. As I got older, I started to be attracted to people's hearts, combined with their intellect, with the sexual element following. Since hitting 30, I find I can be attracted on all three levels initially, and feel I'm lucky to have such a wide variety of sensations and attractions that come from that.

11. Well over half the men I've dated have had a thing for feet. I find this to be a harmless fetish and though I don't personally have an opinion one way or another about feet, I find that I like playing with men who have foot fetishes.

12. I really dislike casual sex.

13. I regularly go to parties where people are publicly having sex, but I almost never do anything but dance, cuddle or socialize there.

14. I believe in sexual freedom and abundance, but not sexual free-for-alls. Boundaries are our friends, people!

15. I love teaching people about sex and helping to legitimize their desires.

16. I love strap-on sex.

17. And using hands in sex.

18. The three months of celibacy I took while being in a relationship, and the three years I took of being intentionally single taught me as much about my sexuality as some of my best sexual relationships. I think knowing where you don't want to be having sex is as important as knowing where you do. It takes both presence and absence to make up a whole.

19. I like sex that is honest, playful, ridiculous and/or healing. I dislike sex that is goal-oriented or is taken too seriously.

20. I look forward to the day that people are as mindful about their sexuality and sexual self-expression as they're starting to be about food. But with less judgment.

21. I find it amusing to think of myself as kinky (even though I definitely am) because my kink is mixed with so much humor and silliness. That whole "Mistress of Darkness" thing just totally doesn't work for me, but I'd be happy to tie you up and smack you around while wearing my Rainbow Brite tights.

22. I have a lover who calls me Daddy, and I think it's really hot.

23. Power exchange both fascinates and frightens me. This seems like a good reason to explore it.

24. I prefer sober sex, but making out while stoned is a lot of fun.

25. I have an amazing community of sex-positive friends, which means I've seen most of my friends fuck in some way. The range of human sexual expression never ceases to amaze me, nor what's possible when people really care about each other.