Monday, May 24, 2010

1) I have given up on labels. I don't think they matter any more. I'm tired of people trying to fit me into their little categories. I am who I am.

2) I find androgynous people very sexy. Also, fangs are nearly irresistible.

3) I like boys and girls.

4) My first real memory or recollection that I found women beautiful was when I was probably 6. I was watching a movie and there was a woman in a red bikini getting out of a pool. I remember rewinding it and watching it over and over until my mother came in and told me to quit it. Not long after that I did it again: another woman in red, in a bra and panties set and a sexy little robe.

5) When I was growing up I always wanted to sing to the girls, sweep them off their feet and make them swoon. Even now when I sing I always take the male vocal.

6) I used to French-kiss boys behind the trailers in 2nd and 3rd grade at Catholic school.

7) Some would call me a virgin; some not, though. I have been penetrated by a penis, but my cherry wasn't popped. At the time I was almost 12. My boyfriend was about a year and a half older than I, and he was a horny one. I was curious, but I didn't really have any kind of sex drive yet. His was the first penis I had really seen, and it was beautiful. I was fascinated by it and a bit scared by it as well. He wasn't my first kiss, but he was the first one that I felt I could kiss forever, and God was he good at it. We would sneak around his grandma's horse ranch and kiss until he was so hard he could hardly think. After a few months and a lot of coaxing on his part I gave him a blow job. I tried sex 'cause he wanted to but stopped 'cause it hurt too much. We tried anal, and that was fine with me. I wish I had been a bit older so I could have enjoyed it all more. After 5 months we drifted apart.

8) I popped my own cherry a couple years later.

9) Intelligence is a huge turn-on for me. So is any kind of musical talent.

10) When I was 13 I did a lot of cybering with older men. Surprisingly they never suspected that I wasn't a "horny 19-year-old girl from L.A."

11) I was addicted to porn at 14.

12) I denied that I felt any attraction to girls until I was 16, though looking back it should have been obvious.

13) I have some serious penis envy going on.

14) I made a rule for myself at boarding school: nothing below the waist. I wasn't ready for something so intimate, so I spent my high school years wearing the proverbial chastity belt of doom.

15) I had my first girlfriend at boarding school. A week after she arrived, we were roommates. After a few weeks we started flirting. Well, she was flirting; I was "straight girl" teasing with sexy dances and playful touches that I refused to act on. I couldn't admit it to myself that I wasn't "normal." I couldn't like girls; it would break my parents' hearts (after all, they already had one gay daughter).

16) We both developed a crush on the same guy, and after a bit I started to realize that I was jealous of him. I still couldn't admit that I wanted her, but I knew that I didn't want him to have her.

17) She would ask me for kisses and I would refuse, saying kisses were special and that I didn't kiss just anyone. One night the staff found us asleep on the top bunk, and they freaked, assuming that we were being naughty (even though we were fully dressed, shoes and all). They forced me to move out within the week. The funny thing is, if they had just left us alone, I could have deluded myself forever.

18) The last night, I let her kiss me. They kept us separated after that, but it didn't matter to us. We stole moments wherever we could for the next 6 months. On her last night there, she came to my room and we spent hours holding each other and caressing each other's skin. When it was time for her to return to her room, she had a psychotic breakdown and was taken away from me.

19) I didn't get to say goodbye, and we didn't see each other again. They gave me a letter from her after about a week, but all it really did was prove that she was alive. People kept asking where she was. Needless to say, I was a mess for over a month after.

20) My second girl was amazing. I was 17, she was 20. One night she knocked on my door, and in a cute rush of words declared that she liked me, handed me a note, and ran away. It was completely exhilarating.

21) We had a passionate 3 months together before graduation sent us in different directions. We met up for a weekend in N.Y. 6 months later and explored the city and each other. I haven't seen her in four years, but I still love her.

22) I am a jealous lover. I have never cheated. I don't like to share what's mine.

23) I find rugged, well built men with high cheekbones and strong jaws enticing.

24) I love kissing, licking, and sucking women's necks, breasts, sides, and mouths.

25) My last girl was mine for four days, but she was one of the hottest encounters I've ever had. She was the only one that I truly lusted after. It was 10 days before my 18th birthday. She was 15, and seven inches shorter than me. I loved to pin her against the wall with her hands pulled high above her head and press her tightly between myself and the wall and kiss her hard till we pulled back panting.