Friday, May 20, 2011

1. I’m a 22-year-old female who is straight, and has only been with one person who is my current boyfriend. We have been together for about 1 year and four months. My entry will be almost a chronological story, as I find it’s the easiest way to write my experiences. It will also be quite detailed, as I actually don’t have anybody to talk about this stuff with (apart from my boyfriend of course). I’m a private person when it comes to my sex life.

2. I always seemed to have crushes on boys when I was growing up. Every year of school I had a crush on one boy or another. My first crush was on a boy in kindergarten, so I would have been 4, then! However I was very naive, and if one of them showed an interest in me I would shy away completely. When I was 12 I was playing a game with my best friend (a boy, also 12) and my younger sister and I had to hide in a cupboard with my best friend. He ended up kissing my ear and my neck, and at the time I freaked out majorly and didn’t like it at all!

3. I first started masturbating when I was 12/13. I started humping the head of a teddy bear (yes, you heard right!). It felt good but I was always incredibly guilty about it. Sex wasn’t talked about openly in our household and I was always a bit sickened by the way my parents talked about sex with their friends.

4. I was 13 when I had my first orgasm. My sister and I shared a bunk bed at the time and I was on the top bunk. I used the teddy bear pressed between the bed and my clit, and I remember it being the most amazing feeling. It felt too good. I was scared she heard me but to this day I’m not sure. She did catch me humping my bear once in one of the other rooms in the house, and she asked me if I ever came and I lied and said I didn’t. She said she sometimes did the same thing. This is the one and only time we’ve come close to talking about our experiences!

5. Since my first orgasm I’ve used the same technique to masturbate. Basically like pillow humping but instead of a pillow it’s a stuffed toy bear or occasionally a quilt. I especially like it when the nose of the teddy bear is pressed against my clit, and I’ll position the bear on the edge of a chair, or my bed, and I don’t need to move around much, just the pressure is enough to make me come. In fact, disappointingly this is almost the only way I can come, although I do come very quickly and it can be quite intense if I’m turned on enough.

6. The biggest turn-ons for me are reading smutty fanfiction or novels, and watching people in movies and TV having sex and moaning. A few years ago I got into watching Beautiful Agony. I find that site has turned me on more than anything else. I particularly enjoy watching the women come more than men. I’m not homosexual at all, but I think it’s because I’m a woman myself, so I can relate to them and know exactly what they’re feeling. I’m not a fan of porn otherwise. I prefer watching their faces on BA and fantasizing about how they’re masturbating rather than actually seeing how they are.

7. I also have a bit of a fascination with breasts. I don’t want to touch them or anything but I like looking at them. I’ve always compared my breasts with others since mine are quite small and I’ve always been jealous of women who can get cleavage, ‘cause I can’t!

8. It took me the longest time before I was brave enough to finger myself. Sounds crazy but I was always a bit scared about it. I hate the look of genitalia, even my own, so maybe that’s why? I had never used tampons for that reason (I still don’t, but it’s because I can’t be bothered with them). I think I was in my late teens when I fingered myself for the first time. It was rather liberating.

9. I have tried to make myself come by fingering myself but I ended up peeing, and it put me off completely so I haven’t tried it since. I have also tried clitoral stimulation with my fingers. I came close once, but I got too frustrated waiting to come so I just resorted back to my humping technique. It is obviously the best way to orgasm for me.

10. I never had a boyfriend (or first kiss) until I was 21. I felt inadequate for the longest time, wondering WHY nobody liked me ‘that way.’ I sometimes blamed it on the fact that I have small breasts, or my average looks. I’m actually glad I had to wait so long now, as it was worth it. And I don’t think I was mature enough for a boyfriend when I was a teenager.

11. My first and current boyfriend I met on the internet. We were from the same state and the same age, but were living in different towns. We talked for ages and ages online before we admitted we liked each other and wanted to meet in real life. He talked about wanting to do certain things with me, and it was the strangest feeling hearing that. I actually felt wanted; I had never felt that way before. I told him I had never done ‘anything’ before and he said he was willing to wait for me. (He was a virgin too, which was comforting, although he had done some other ‘stuff’ with previous girlfriends, all short-term relationships). Once we met in real life he moved to my city. It was 6 months into our relationship before we actually had sex. Yes, I made him wait that long... I’m not sure how he survived but it is a testament to him and our relationship that he loved me enough to wait.

12. Before we had sex we experimented in other ways together. I never thought I would be brave enough to do some of the things I have, especially because of my lack of experience. The first time we met I had never felt more comfortable in my entire life, it was strange but awesome. I thought I would be a lot more nervous and awkward.

13. From the outset I realised he was a very passionate and intense person and got turned on very quickly (he’s a true Scorpio!). Even when we first met, he had erections even while we were standing up and making out! It made me feel good that I could turn him on like that.

14. We became very good at dry-humping with our clothes on before we had sex. In fact we still do it as a precursor to intercourse. It’s a great way of turning us both on completely. I just love feeling his erection, and knowing that I’m making him feel good. I was a bit stunned at the time that I, Miss No Experience, could do that. But that’s one of my favorite things to do, turning him on, and making him come.

15. Eventually, I gained some confidence and moved on to hand jobs, and apparently I’m really good at that too. I never liked to look at his penis if I could help it... I think it all comes down to not liking the look of genitalia, as I said earlier. It’s probably a reason why I’ve never shaved my vagina, because I don’t want to see all the bits!

16.I’m not a huge fan of oral sex (on myself). It just feels weird to me and I am too nervous about it to properly enjoy it. My boyfriend knows this and hasn’t done it for a long time now. I have, however, given him blow jobs. I’m surprised I do because I swore on my life I would never give anyone a blow job (the thought of it was “really gross”) but lo and behold, things change as you get older! I don’t like doing it all the time, but every now and again I feel like doing it and he says I’m amazing at it, which is quite comforting. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I have never let him come in my mouth, though – that disgusts the crap out of me. He said he would like to come in my mouth but I’m not sure if I will ever let him. It kind of makes me feel guilty.

17. The first time we had sex it hurt like a bat out of hell because I was so tight and nervous! In fact it hurt so much that he never entered me completely and therefore never came himself, which I felt bad about but he said I shouldn’t feel bad. It was only after the third time that sex started to feel good for me.

18.I have never come during sexual intercourse but it doesn’t really bother me so much. I enjoy sex for the emotional intensity it brings and I absolutely LOVE it when he tells me he’s coming. Penetration DOES feel good for me even though I don’t come. We are also big on kissing during sex, which I love as well. I love kissing – and I’m making up for the fact I was never kissed for the first 21 years of my life!

19. We’re a bit of a vanilla couple and alternate between missionary and me-on-top positions, but I don’t mind too much. We have tried shower sex, against-the-wall sex and doggy style, all which I enjoyed but it was surprisingly hard to do. We’re basically still a young couple, and continuing to experiment. One thing we will never do is anal. My boyfriend doesn’t like the idea at all and I’m also turned off by it. One of my favorite things is morning sex. I just love how we don’t care how bad our breath is, we just want to make out and make each other feel good. I quite enjoy rough/hard sex, too.

20. His penis isn’t very long, but it’s quite thick, which suits me. I’m not fussed at how big he is. It still feels good to me when we have sex. He doesn’t care that my breasts are small, so likewise I don’t care that his penis is.

21. He has only made me come twice before – just by clitoral stimulation. I never thought I’d be able to come differently than to how I’m used to, but I did. It took a lot of rubbing of my clit but it finally paid off. Unfortunately this is a rare event, and sometimes I get frustrated and I think he gets frustrated when he teases my clit for ages and nothing seems to happen. I get very turned on but eventually I feel raw and tell him to stop. I envy those women who can come quite easily this way, when I can’t.

22. I have a fantasy about masturbating the way I do, and my boyfriend entering me from behind. I wonder when I will work up the courage to tell him that’s what I’d like to try! I’m still a tad shy about these things. But we have plenty of time to figure things out.

23. This leads me onto the fact that I’d be happy if my current boyfriend was the only man I was ever with for the rest of my life. I’m quite sentimental like that. We are both strong believers in monogamy. My Dad was my Mum’s first love and they’ve been together over 25 years now and I really admire them for that.

24. Randomly, I’d love to own a vibrator but I am far too embarrassed to order one, even from online.

25. Lastly, some of the best sex my boyfriend and I have had was in November last year. I didn’t see him for three weeks because we took a bit of a break from each other for certain reasons, but when we got back together the feeling was electric. We had sex about three times over that weekend (that’s enough for us!) but it was extremely satisfying. In fact some of our best sexual experiences have been after we haven’t seen each other for a week or two, and our want for each other is sky high.