Thursday, January 5, 2012

1. I'm female and totally happy with being so. I don't want to be male, I like having boobs and a vag. While I've had the occasional penis dream, it's more of a curious oddity for me than anything I want. I do wonder what it feels like to have one, but I don't want to get one ever.

2. I'm bisexual, though I tend to lean more toward men.

3. I'm technically bisexual but due to fairly recent traumatic experiences with women in relationships, I feel no drive to be with one and greatly distrust females, particularly dominant ones. I'm still interested in women in the fantasy realm, but in the real world it's not something I'm ready for at the moment.

4. I'm tokophobic, meaning that I'm afraid of pregnancy and childbirth, to the point where I would be a suicide risk if I ever became pregnant. I don't trust my birth control and had a total mental breakdown when I thought I might be pregnant.

5. Literature is way sexier than pictures most of the time, and both of those are far, far better than movies. However, I sometimes find that if a story is too well written, I can't masturbate to it - the writing sucks me in so I'm enraptured by the story.

6. I have a very hard time reaching orgasm, especially if someone else is playing with me. I require a very specific mental image and stimulation to get there and pure stimulation will rarely, if ever, get me off. Multiple orgasms don't exist in my world.

7. About half the time, I cry when I orgasm if someone else caused it. I never cry if I bring myself to it. It's a really deep crying too, seriously sobbing.

8. My first real ventures into the BDSM realm were through Gor, and I still hold onto a good part of that heritage. While I'm not purely Gorean I do have a deep connection with it. I can talk the talk and walk the walk, and still enjoy hanging out with other Goreans.

9. I don't like having my nipples played with. They're oversensitive, and even a bit of play throws me into a weird funk which is hard to get out of.

10. I've had sex (defined as vaginal, anal or oral intercourse) with four people - three male, one female. The first time I had sex was about two weeks after I turned 18, and it was with a guy I met at my then-domme's wedding.

11. I'm a very tactile person - I love hugging, cuddling or rubbing up against people, especially to tease them.

12. I identify as a slave in the BDSM realm and have had the feelings that I now know are submissive desires since I was very young. I have had a Master and still have something of one. He makes me feel like nothing else has ever come close to making me feel, and I love being around him.

13. I'm definitely an exhibitionist. While I blush and act embarrassed, knowing that people are watching me play or do whatever gives me an incredible rush. I love public play parties, as I'm also something of a voyeur as well, and they present the perfect give and take of watching and being watched.

14. While I do brat a bit, I'm not a dominant or a top by any stretch of the imagination. I mostly like to kick doms I know consent around to get a reaction by pretending to top them. The sheer pleasure of teasing them gives me a high like you wouldn't imagine.

15. Consensual nonconsent is my thing. To get off, there has to be some element of nonconsent, even if it's as light as being held down and struggling a bit. Running around, fighting, grappling people and getting my ass beat, as well as occasionally beating theirs, is the real thing that gets me.

16. Pain and I have a complicated relationship. While I do enjoy it to some degree, I'm not a masochist. I don't want to be beaten black and blue and I have to be warmed up to take more than a minimal amount. I prefer floggers, some singletails and bare hand spanking.

17. The idea of a guy just undoing his pants and taking me is totally hot. The lack of care, the power of him being clothed and me not being is incredible to me. It's another facet of the nonconsent element I need in my sex life to get anything out of it.

18. I dislike being given oral. I get yeast and urinary infections like you wouldn't believe, so the idea of having someone's dirty mouth down there makes me cringe. I'd much rather give than receive.

19. Online role-playing is an important part of my sex life. It seems weird, but it allows me both the experience of having a situation that would never happen in the real world and a chance to work on my writing skills. I find writing a sex scene with someone more emotionally satisfying than actual sex many times.

20. The list of nonhuman creatures I've fantasized about is a mile long and mostly aliens or monsters, including plants. One of my favorite fantasies is being fucked by a giant alien insect. I have no clue why I find it hot, but I do. I've had some vivid dreams about being screwed by these types of creatures as well.

21. I'm very much a people-pleaser and it comes out in my sex life. I'd rather be doing things for others most of the time than have anything done to me.

22. I'm not one to just lay around after sex. Most of the time I'm up in a few minutes and ready to do something else, unless cuddling is offered. If cuddling is offered, I'll get up once to pee and then the next few hours are out of the window.

23. I hate being prompted to come up with ideas for play or sex. It puts me on the spot and makes me really uncomfortable because I never like any of my own ideas. I do have desires, but usually when I'm with someone I'm close to, my primary drive is to please them.

24. Dressing up is awesome. If a scene requires costuming, I'm all over it. People who wear elaborate costumes during a scene or sex, or who really get into a character, are incredibly attractive and floor me, especially if they put on an accent for the occasion.

25. I'm polyamorous and believe that loving freely can really solve a lot of the world's relationship problems, and that jealousy isn't exactly natural. Embracing and loving openly is beautiful to me.