Friday, June 1, 2012

1. I'm a 23-year-old female. I identify as straight, but I would love to experience a woman.

2. I've only had penetrative sex with a man once, almost 3 years ago.

3. That one time was when I lost my virginity in a drunken one-night stand. I do not regret it at all, because if I hadn't done it then, I would probably still be a virgin.

4. I have had sexual experiences (without PIV sex) with approximately 10 different guys.

5. The last time I soberly made out with someone I was 16 years old.

6. It's been almost 2 years since I was last kissed or touched sexually, and it's exceedingly frustrating.

7. I am very open sexually, and love watching porn.

8. To counteract my sexual frustration and fulfill my exhibitionist nature, I get naked and masturbate on webcam for a man I've never met, and watch him masturbate. We talk dirty, but we also have regular conversations.

9. I first started exposing myself over webcam when I was in high school.

10. The different guys that I've engaged with online cannot understand why I have trouble finding men in real life to have sex with.

11. The first and most vivid sex dream I've ever had was about two women scissoring. I had fallen asleep on the bus ride back from summer camp.

12. I wish my clit was bigger, which is just one of the many things I would alter if I could.

13. I am sexiest when I'm dancing, and that is responsible for about half of the sexual experiences I've had. It is also responsible for attracting guys that are objectively more attractive than I am. Though I'm not unattractive, I'm slightly overweight and have managed to attract attention (though fleeting) from some really hot guys.

14. I like a lot of things about my body, but feel really self-conscious and as though other people won't find it desirable.

15. I haven't been in a "relationship" since my first boyfriend in high school.

16. The longer I remain single, the more I think I'll have trouble being in a typical monogamous relationship.

17. On paper I'm great girlfriend material: I cook and bake. I'm intelligent and cultured, but I'm just as happy indulging in lowbrow stuff. I'm sexually curious and adventurous. I like to have fun. I love to masturbate and watch porn, so I won't judge a boyfriend for doing it. I'm caring and understanding. There are many other qualities that would make me a good girlfriend, but I'm perhaps too independent.

18. Three of the strangers that I have conversed and masturbated with or for online were or are in serious relationships. I am a fantasy for them. A supplement to their relationship. What they don't get from their girls, they get from me. Whether it be intellectual or sexual stimulation. I don't feel used, because I get as much out of it as they do. I get no stimulation (intellectual or sexual) from men in real life, so this is my substitute.

19. I spent $130 on my vibrator.

20. Though my friends have more sex than I do, they are considerably more uptight about sex and less willing to communicate with their partners about sex.

21. I fantasize about being a stripper, and if I had a better body, I would love to be a burlesque dancer.

22. Hearing a guy moaning, groaning and saying "I'm coming" is so hot.

23. I have big boobs and a lot of ass, hips and thighs. I really relate to the song "Bootylicious."

24. I once had a guy tell me that he'd never been with a girl like me before, that he was used to smaller girls. Which did nothing to dispel the thoughts I had about men desiring thin women. (He couldn't get an erection with me.)

25. Both my parents told me when I was just entering puberty that "boys only wanted one thing," that I shouldn't give them what they wanted, that when they saw me dressed "provocatively" I was sending them the wrong message, among various other scare tactics. Thanks for warping my sexuality, Ma and Pa.