Saturday, April 18, 2009

1. I find the idea of marriage, and sex with just one person for the rest of my life, terrifying. Also kind of boring. I don't think I believe in it.

2. My last relationship lasted 3 years, I never once cheated - even though I didn't love him, and the sex wasn't great. I'm not sure that would still be true if the opportunity had come up though.

3. I don't really see the attraction in kissing. It gets boring.

4. As a kid I had a friend who would invite me over for sleepovers. We'd end up in her bed pretending to sleep while I touched her.

5. Because it was always me coming up with excuses to get into her bed, and me doing the touching, I've always felt like I took advantage of her. I can't even think about her anymore without feeling ashamed.

6. I masturbate before sleep almost every night. It's my 'me' time, and the way I wind down after a tough day.

7. I wish my favorite vibrator made less noise - I can't use it when my flatmates are home because it honestly sounds like a lawnmower starting up between my thighs.

8. When I was unemployed I would pick random days to stay home all day and watch porn.

9. I love watching a guy eat his own cum out of a woman. I think it kind of signals a certain comfort with the messiness of sex, and security in his own masculinity.

10. I am uncomfortable with the idea of a guy going down on me. It's only ever happened twice, and I faked an orgasm both times, just to get him away from me without hurting his feelings.

11. I don't like oral because I am repulsed by the idea of eating some girl out, so I imagine guys must be repulsed by it too. On the other hand I quite like giving blow jobs.

12. Generally, when I'm on my own, I am comfortable with my body and sexual response. I spend a fair amount of time wandering the house in various stages of undress when the people I live with aren't home.

13. I once invited a friend into my room without realizing I had a box of sex toys open beside my bed, a used condom hanging out of the bin, and cum on the sheets of my unmade bed. (The boyfriend had left early, and had spent a few hours making up for some fairly lack-luster morning sex.) At the time I just didn't stop to think that any of it would be weird for her to see. After she left I realized what she'd seen, and proceeded to die of embarrassment.

14. I've never been in love, but I imagine it would be all consuming, and amazing.

15. I don't think I'm pretty enough to pick up guys. No guy - bar my Dad - has ever told me that I'm attractive. Everyone knows it doesn't count when it comes from one of your parents.

16. I get inappropriate crushes on guys who are either way older than me, in relationships, or flagrantly gay. I also get painful crushes on guys I assume are too good for me.... Once I realize I have a crush on them I find it hard to ever make eye contact, or small talk with them ever again.

17. I'm 24, so really too old for crushes.

18. I'm a hopeless romantic. I daydream about the perfect guy appearing out of nowhere and after a tumultuous courtship - involving multiple conflicts and tragic misunderstandings - falling head over heels in love with each other and spending the rest of our lives together. Happily ever after. Not bad for someone who professes to not believe in marriage right?

19. I should really stop reading romance novels. They're not doing anything for my love life.

20. I wish I knew how to pole dance. I'm pretty sure I'd be amazing at it.

21. I seem to be unable to just be friends with guys. I end up realizing how awesome they are, and then getting crushes on them... And we've already established that those end badly for me.

22. My first real guy mate (who I had a crush on, then miraculously got over) told me he loved me on the night of my 21st birthday. I said thanks, gave him a hug, and then proceeded to go drape myself over his best mate. Perhaps not surprisingly, we are no longer friends.

23. I really wish I could orgasm with just vaginal intercourse.

24. I think the idea of two guys together in bed is almost hotter than straight sex. If I could, I would change into a guy for one night, so I could go out and pick up another guy, just to see what it's like. I'll bet having a cock is awesome.

25. On the other hand female sexuality is pretty damn amazing... I wouldn't want to give that up forever. Having boobs is fun.