Monday, December 7, 2009

1. Technically, I'm a virgin, but I wouldn't really consider myself a virgin, since I know more about how to get an orgasm than my friends that have been having sex for a while.

2. The song I want to lose my actual virginity to is "Crash" by Dave Matthews Band and then "Sex On Fire" by Kings of Leon the rest of the time.

3. I am currently in a relationship with someone 15 years my senior (I'm 19). We've been together for four months and we have phone sex at least 5 times a week.

4. We've never met, but I do not think that makes our relationship any less legit. Besides, I came 60 times in one night on the phone with him. He has taught me more about my sexuality and what to do with my body than any book or porno ever has.

5. Oh, I also haven't been kissed. Guys always pounce in and go for the kill so I push back because if you're going to pounce on me like that for just a kiss, what else are you going to pounce at me for? I have to always fight and push guys back from kissing me: I don't get it!

6. I'm terribly scared that I'm gonna have sex with my boyfriend. His dick is too big and my pussy can barely take one finger inside of it. How is it gonna handle an 8 inch long, 2.5 inch wide penis? I know I want to but I refuse to admit it to him. He just knows that I'm scared of his dick.

7. When I was 9, I discovered porn flipping through the movie cable channels. I think it was Cinemax that got me first. It was this man having sex with this woman in a spa. I remember I kept watching, just watching. Then I spread my legs for some reason, then I moved for some reason and kept repeating that motion because it felt good. It took me a while to realize that if I put my hand down there, it'd help. I used to always feel dirty after masturbation until I hit 18 and stated having cybersex. I think I didn't feel as bad about it because technically I was with someone and not alone.

8. I've had cybersex with over 40 people. It helped me get through the second semester of my first year of college. At least 2 of them I still talk to and consider good friends. One of the guys I wanted to cyber with actually stopped me and we went on a date (it was a disaster). One was 44 and he thought he was my boyfriend, I did too for a split second, but then I realized that this 44-year-old man was not my type. He was too attached and I only liked to cyber with him and he didn't want to leave it at that.

9. I was addicted to porn from age 10-16ish. At 17 I realized how nasty porn was and how the images were giving me false images of actual sex.

10. When I was young, like single digit age, me and my little playmates would "play house" which would consists of kissing and feeling each other and sometimes humping and we would sometimes almost got caught. And one time I was in the wine closet with my boy cousin, we were 7, and I tried to pull out his penis. Thank God he stopped me. I used to love "playing house" with him. He often would ask me after class if we could do the same thing in class, and I'd say yes. One time I wrote in my class that I had sex (I hadn't) and my second grade teacher found it and gave it to my Dad and Mom. I was so ashamed.

11. For a long time I thought I wasn't a virgin because we would hump but I never put two and two together that intercourse was even a word.

12. Because I have always been inclined to sex in some ways without even hearing about it, I believe that people are naturally sexual.

13. People often think that I am still a virgin because I am Christian. NOT TRUE. That has something to do with it. But the older I get, the more I realize that it's a trust and self-value thing. I feel like if I don't trust you enough to be with me the rest of my life then how can I trust you to come inside of me in the most vulnerable way?

14. Although it seems like I want to wait until marriage, I am 76% sure I won't be a virgin when I graduate. I am too horny and I love orgasms. Satisfaction in phone sex is going to run out sooner or later.

15. I have never told anyone #7-10.

16. I love dicks. I just like to watch--stare at them. I think they are just... uggh... wonderful. Right now I just pulled up my favorite blog with pictures of dicks. LOVE IT!

17. I think it's a bummer that there is not a variety of dicks online. I'm the kind of girl that likes to taste the rainbow and I wanna see more than either a white dick or a black dick!

18. I know more about sex than my friends because I used to watch a lot of porn and because when I stopped watching porn and would think of sex, I'd reseach the Kama Sutra and read up on ways to have sex. Most of my friends come to me for advice when they can really look up all the tips I give them.

19. #18 is why my friends all know that I'm a big freak. YES I AM and proud of it.

20. Right now, I wish my boyfriend would call so I can orgasm. I'm mad at him but I just want to hear his voice so I can cum.

21. I love my vagina. I may seem like a cyber slut after over 40 men online have seen my pussy. They love it. I love it. I think it's pretty. I have a chocolate pussy. To me, it looks like a chocolate covered cherry.

22. I fear that after I have sex, I won't recognize my vagina since it's so tight now and will end up doing a lot of vagina exercises.

23. Part of the reason I'd like to date all types of men is because I think of men as dessert and I'm chocolate. For example:
Hispanic man + black woman = churro dipped in chocolate
Indian man + black woman = Reese's peanut butter cup
black man + black woman = chocolate truffle
white man + black woman = classic Klondike bar
asian man + black woman = lemon filled chocolate candy

24. I am so indecisive about whether or not to have it. The truth is that I don't want to regret my first time and have great expectations on the partner. I disagree with the statement that "I lost my virginity": I think it should be, I gave him my virginity. Sex is an expression of love. Fucking leaves you feeling empty.

25. I really want to masturbate tonight. Damn boyfriend is missing in action.