Tuesday, February 2, 2010

1. I'm a 28-year-old married monogamous bisexual female.

2. I lost my virginity at 17, to another virgin. I was with that guy for about three years after that.

3. I'd done damn near everything else before that that didn't involve a penis below my waist. He hadn't done anything, not even kiss (except masturbating), before he did it with me.

4. I first kissed a girl when I was still with that guy. It almost made me come.

5. I first slept with a girl the summer after I broke up with that first guy. I actually spent much of that summer sleeping with that first girl and another guy; we were a threesome, or in poly terms, a triad.

6. I had another boyfriend by the end of that summer, but kept sleeping with the guy from the triad for several months. I rationalized my cheating by thinking that, since by boyfriend was a virgin (another one!) and wasn't ready to sleep with me, I had to get my fix somewhere.

7. During that same relationship, I flew to Baltimore, MD to take the virginity of someone else that I met online. Sluttiest and most dangerous thing I've ever done. Good thing it didn't end badly.

8. After that, I stopped cheating on my boyfriend, who had in fact started to sleep with me by then. I was faithful until we broke up.

9. I spent a decent amount of time as a cyberslut, starting while I was with my first, and lasting part of the way through that last boyfriend. In fact, that's how I met him. At first it was just in IM and over the phone, but eventually I got a webcam and would masturbate for guys. I had four or five "regulars" that I could count on to participate at pretty much any given time.

10. A few years ago I had to admit to myself that I was molested pretty regularly as a child. It still doesn't really bother me, which in turn bothers me. But what bothers me most, is that it happened with the same people to my cousin, and when she told, I lied and said it didn't happen to me. She's never called me on it.

11. About that same time, I also came to realize that an ex-boyfriend (a different one than in numbers 6-9, and who in fact was my rebound from him) raped me. I'd spent the night in his apartment, and when I woke up he was on top of me. I half-heartedly told him no, even though I felt whole-hearted about it.

12. The bf in #11 had a roommate who was very strongly attracted me, and I confided in him about the rape. Turns out, this guy had done it to other gfs too.

13. Not long after this, I cheated on my bf with his roommate, and we became lovers, or best-friends-with-benefits, but we did tell each other we loved each other all the time. We never were "officially" bf/gf though.

14. I lost that friendship when I met the man who is now my husband and fell in love. My lover/BFWB had apparently wanted to be "official," but hadn't told me. I haven't spoken to him in over six years.

15. I enjoy many aspects of BDSM. I'm a predominently submissive switch (or sometimes, a Mistress who goes subbie). My specific fetishes/kinks include, but are not limited to, biting, breath-play, blood-play, knife-play, puppy-play, bondage, Domination/submission, and name-calling/verbal humiliation.

16. Despite #11, I have rape fantasies. I had them even before #11. Sometimes I really get off on feeling helpless, not in control, and scared.

17. My husband was a virgin when I met him, but like me when I lost my virginity, he'd done just about everything else.

18. We don't have sex very often. My libido has taken a major nose-dive. I am trying.

19. Sometimes I would rather sleep with a woman. I do want to have a girlfriend/female lover, but I could never be in a triad with my husband, I'm too jealous. It'd have to be a V, with me as the bottom point.

20. When I masturbate, I rub myself right behind the opening in my clit hood. I can't pull it back and actually touch my clit; contact that direct hurts.

21. Vampires are sexy. Blood and biting are sexy.

22. I love homoeroticism, especially between two men.

23. Sometimes I get turned on by things that I think I shouldn't, like rape scenes in non-porn movies.

24. Werewolves can be sexy too.

25. I've had sexual contact with a total of 21 people, 14 of them men. Of those men, I've had actual intercourse with 9 of them. Most of those 9 were within a two year span.