Sunday, January 31, 2010

1. I first started touching myself when I was 6 or 7, never to orgasm. It was just something I did when I couldn't fall asleep.

2. The first time I ever had an orgasm was when I was 11. I was taking a shower and using the new, massaging shower head my folks had just bought. I started taking a lot of showers, and I was always nervous that my parents would realize why their grass-stained and scuff-kneed tomboy had a new-found obsession with cleanliness

3. My first crush was Bill Nye, The Science Guy. I still find scientists really, REALLY sexy. Lanky men with large noses make me instantly wet.

4. I got my first kiss at 13. I was at a friend's party just after 7th grade. We were all sitting on the front lawn playing spin the bottle. A much older (17-18?) neighbor boy was walking by and asked to play. When he spun, he got me. It was wonderful, but I didn't let myself enjoy it fully because everyone was watching. I do not know his name.

5. I got my 2nd kiss later that same night, from the guy I'd been crushing on all year. He pulled me aside and stroked my hair, brushing it behind my ear. I believe he was trying to be was awful and slobbery, and the crush was over.

6. I have been actively seeking out porn since I was 9 or 10. That's about the age I was when we got HBO. I would stay up late to watch Real Sex, sneaking to the family room and turning the volume WAY down low. There was something about the possibility of getting caught that was beyond thrilling.

7. I write on-line Erotica. I'm good at it. I've made over $1500 since I was 16 by winning contests.

8. I casually mentioned this to a friend once. She found my work. She said she didn't know how to feel about it. I changed my pseudonym immediately, and we've never mentioned it again. I realized that it was the anonymity that allowed me to write so freely.

9. I hated the first blowjob I ever gave. It wasn't that he was dirty or sweaty or anything. Just the opposite, in fact, because he'd just showered. But he was small, and really curved, and he let out an unreal amount of precum. Even looking back on it, the amount was excessive. It was the constant feeling of being slimed that did me in.

10. Luckily, I was brave enough to try it with a different fellow. Giving head is now on par with penetration on my list of orgasm-makers.

11. I have sucked 48 different cocks. I swallow every time. It makes me feel powerful.

12. I hate, HATE receiving oral sex. Nobody believes me when I say this. The guys would say: "It's just because you've never had someone who knows how." My gal pals would say: "It's just because you're self conscious... AND because you've never had someone who knows how." Neither of these statements are accurate. I just don't enjoy it. I used to subject myself to it, but it always turned me off, and I hated feeling like I had to enjoy it. I don't do things I hate anymore.

13. My first time having sex was unusual, compared to the experiences of my friends, but it felt completely natural to me. I was curious what it was like, and I really wanted to know what I was doing, so I asked one of my friends to give me a hand. He found this a powerful turn-on, I viewed it as a research opportunity. My body responded with the appropriate secretions and contractions, but my mind was taking notes. Although it was, for me, completely devoid of any romance or passion, or even horniness, it was really fun, and I was taken with the novelty of the experience. I was 16.

14. The first time I had sweaty, lusty, passionate sex was about 3 months after my first time. It was in a cemetery. Cemeteries are still a major turn on.

15. I am religious about doing Kegels, mainly because I figured out I can make myself cum that way. I always cum at least once during my office's unbelievably boring Friday meetings.

16. It makes me really uncomfortable when guys insist on a woman being completely shaved. Especially if they use the word "innocent" in their explanation.

17. On a related note, I shave my legs and armpits, as a relic of my swim team days, but my bush is full, although well-trimmed.

18. I LOVE hairy balls. Big ones, preferably. Ditto for hairy chests. Please don't shave; it's weird, at the very least. At the worst, it's prickly. I'm not so fond of back hair, but I'd rather deal with that than a guy who "man-scapes."

19. I frequently orgasm the instant my partner enters me.

20. I am incredibly focused on being completely in control of my "outside" life, and nothing turns me on more than a man who will take control in bed. I am crazy attracted to authority figures.

21. I am not very tactful. After a really, really bad experience (I faked, for the first and only time, just so it would be over), I found myself blurting out: "Well, that sucked."

22. I love making love to women, everything about it. I love the breasts, and the secret, soft hollow of the inner thighs, and the way other women smell. The way they taste. To experience another woman excites me so powerfully... but when they reciprocate... nothing. I have known some amazing, glorious, sexually and spiritually exciting women, and I'm sad that I'm missing out on half of the girl-on-girl action. I guess my problem is that I find women sensual and irresistible in the way that the rain, or a lightning storm might be so full of sensuality that I find it sexual... but although I am in awe of, and want to worship these forces of nature, it doesn't make me want them to fuck me. It's the same with women. I want to experience them fully, but they don't sexually excite me.

23. I have had sex with 13 men, and 6 women, but I have trouble identifying myself as bisexual, or straight, or anything, really. The evidence would suggest I'm bi, but I feel dishonest labeling myself in that way. See #22.

24. I go wild for the feeling of a guy being "too big." If he tears me, especially during rough sex, I'll be on Cloud 9 for days. Bonus points if you bruise my cervix. Sex is nice. Making love is nice. Fucking is my favorite. Fucking someone you love is the best thing in the entire universe.

25. I love being in committed relationships. I consider myself a serial monogamist. I believe this is partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because I hate condoms, and I'm too smart not to use them without proper testing.