Tuesday, February 9, 2010

1. When I lost my virginity, I really just wanted to get it over with, but couldn't... It took 2 separate occasions of trying before my boyfriend realized he was too big for the condoms.

2. Nearly every man I've ever slept with has had a huge, magnificent dick. Now I'm prejudiced, but would take girth over length any day.

3. I've made it a practice to only sleep with people who have excellent kissing chemistry. If it's not there on the first kiss, it's not going to work.

4. A healthy percentage of the people I have slept with are now dead. It freaks me out; I don't sleep with that many people and I'm not even 30 yet.

5. The first time I had sex with a woman, I made her come twice. It's since been my goal to wholly satisfy every woman I sleep with.

6. My sexual appetite is boundless. When in a relationship, I need to fuck constantly, for hours and/or days at a time. If I'm not in one (a relationship), I masturbate all... the... time.

7. I apparently came out of the womb masturbating. Growing up, I don't think I ever did it in public, but I did it with such frequency that my parents started punishing me for it. That possibly explains the kinkiness I bring to my adult sexuality.

8. Wrestling, biting, and hard spanking during sex really turn me on. No one has ever really pushed those too far with me, but I know that I would totally get off on it.

9. I think threesomes are overrated. If you can't satisfy the needs of ONE other person, how can you expect to do it with two there? I might need to try an orgy so I can get a different perspective on this.

10. I'm great in bed because I am attentive, creative, a quick learn, and my sexual endurance is limitless. That, and I get off on getting my partner off... so, if I win (and I usually do), we both win.

11. Though I'm a whiz in the bedroom, I have no talent for flirting. I can only bed a stranger if I'm hammered.

12. My favorite sexual practice is fucking women with a strap-on. It strikes me as rather vanilla or porn-y, but it's pretty much the best thing in the world. Fairly certain I could never fuck a guy with it though, it doesn't seem as rewarding. I now know how hard a guy has to work to get a girl off that way so I do have a certain amount of sympathy for them because of it.

13. I don't get emotional about sex unless I'm not getting any or cheating is involved.

14. I generally don't do one night stands.

15. I am a boob and an ass girl. I'm partial to asses that are biteable and breasts that are just around a handful. Huge tits aren't really my thing, and I do have pretty big hands.

16. I have made a woman ejaculate 17 times in one hour. The first time it happened, it was amazing. The second, third, fourth, fifth, and tenth times were also amazing, but by the end I was almost grossed out because I ended up having to sleep in it. It was not a normal-sized wet spot.

17. The only time I've ever regretted sex was when I found out a girl I was sleeping with was a stripper. It made me feel dirty in a bad way. The fact she gave me BV made me feel dirtier.

18. Save for the one bout with BV, I have not contracted a "social disease". I do my best to always be clean and get tested regularly. I only appreciate partners who do the same. Keep your hands and parts clean, please.

19. My nipples are amazing and sensitive. If they are bitten really hard, I can almost climax from that alone.

20. The longest I've gone without sex was two years. I nearly died.

21. The longest I've gone having sex non-stop was 2 days straight. There were only bathroom and water breaks involved, I don't believe he or I actually ate anything unless it was off each other.

22. I love sucking cock, but I truly hate semen. I realize bodily fluids are a natural part of sex, but I'm not really a fan of them. I usually swallow because I don't like the mess.

23. Part of my aversion to semen might have arisen after a guy came in my eye. It knocked my contact out, burnt like hell, and - unable to see at the time - I missed a spot when cleaning it out of my hair.

24. I love when people pull my hair, hard, during sex. Additionally, women can do whatever they want to my head when I go down on them, but if men even so much as apply any kind of pressure to the back of my head, it is done, buddy.

25. I'm pretty damn queer, but I still consider myself bisexual because I don't want to rule out never having real live penis again.