Friday, July 2, 2010

1. I'm 26, female, and mostly straight. I love men, but I'm also sexually attracted to women. The worst girlcrush I've ever had is the one I have on my best friend, who's basically my sister. We joke about how if she ever left her husband, I'd do her. She doesn't know that I'm not joking. I lost my virginity at age 23 to a coworker while doing a summer job in Alaska. I currently have a boyfriend who I'm thinking about leaving, but not just because of sex-related issues. We've been seeing each other for almost four months.

2. I discovered masturbation when I was about twelve. I found one of my mother's womens' magazines (think Cosmo or something similar, I don't remember what it was called) and in it was a rather lengthy article about male fantasies. It included detailed accounts from around fifteen men about what their favorite fantasies were. As I read it, my hand found its way down my pants. I discovered orgasm a couple years later in the shower.

3. I've been a big fan of anal stimulation since I was a teenager. When I was young, I'd stick a capped marker up my ass in the shower. I bought my first vibrator when I was sixteen because my older friend took me into a sex toy shop and lied about how old I was. The woman working the desk didn't card us. That tiny little vibrator brought me more pleasure when it was in my ass than when it was in my pussy. I also love DP. If I could, I'd do it with two men and not two toys. My current boyfriend won't indulge even my anal kink, so I know he wouldn't indulge me in this. But I love having a vibrator in my pussy and a dildo in my ass. It turns me on like crazy.

4. Also related to my ass, I love being spanked. I mean, I LOVE it. This turns me on like nothing else. I love the feeling of being bent over or turned around and having my ass slapped until it's red and sore. I love the feeling of being fucked afterward. The first time I had anal sex was after a thorough spanking, and it was the only time I've ever gotten close to orgasm with another person. This is another thing that my boyfriend won't indulge me in, which I think is sad, because a proper spanking gets me incredibly fucking hot.

5. I'm technically not a fan of sex on the first date, but I feel that with how I look, sometimes if I don't screw on the first date, I'm not going to get any. My current boyfriend and I wound up in his bed on the first date, and the last guy I screwed before him (the guy who spanked me and fucked me in the ass) was a one night stand, although to be fair, I wanted a relationship and he didn't, but I didn't know that until midway through the sex when he told me he only kissed girls he was dating after I asked why he wouldn't kiss me. Before him, my best friend set me up with a friend of hers and we decided to give sex a go, since both of us were horny. Considering his clinginess, BO, and bad breath, even his large cock couldn't make me sleep with him again. The boyfriend I had before that never fucked me, not once in the whole time we were together. He also never let me go down on him, which was a bit odd. Before that, I slept with a guy I'd been dating while working in Alaska. Before him, I slept with another guy I worked with in Alaska, which is why I say I left my virginity in Alaska. For the record, I don't fuck everybody I date. Just the ones I like enough to get naked with.

6. I've never come with another person, but can come multiple times when I'm alone. Part of it is because I can't come just from vaginal stimulation. I've gotten close twice - once with the guy with the big dick and bad BO, and once with the one night stand who spanked and fucked my ass. Unfortunately, Big Dick Boy came before I could get there and didn't bother finishing me off. He just rolled over and went to sleep. One Night Stand Boy also didn't bother finishing me off, but he didn't come, either. He lost his hard-on. When I asked him why, he said it was because he normally doesn't fuck fat chicks. My current boyfriend doesn't bother trying anymore. He knows it's difficult for me to come without added stimulation, but he won't reach around and play with my clit and he certainly won't spank me, because omg it's abusive!!!11!

7. Even though I'm literally begging my boyfriend to put me over his knee and spank me, he won't do it. He won't do my ass, he won't tie me up, he won't use toys on me, he won't do anything that isn't vanilla sex. I think the least vanilla thing we've done was when we had sex on the couch. I know he's done kinky stuff before, because he has bondage gear in his closet. He just says that he "grew out of it" with his ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately for him, I'm a spanking slut and a subby type of girl and want that kind of relationship, so this relationship won't be lasting much longer. There are other reasons I'm going to leave him (chief being that I think he's still in love with his ex and pretends I'm her), but that's one of them.

8. I love porn. I love watching it, critiquing it, and getting off to it. I love making fun of bad porn and enjoying the good porn. I have a thing for amateur porn when it's just a real couple fucking in front of a webcam and putting it on a video site. I LOVE gay porn. I love interracial porn, but for some reason, it has to be a black man on a white woman (or man). I don't know why, but I don't get off on white men with black women. I also love writing dirty stories. Because of my relationship history, my stories are where I can get at least some satisfaction in regard to my fetishes (since I can't find a decent guy who'll not only date me, but fuck me and tie me up and spank me). Part of what gets me about porn is just the sounds of sex. I can leave a video playing and close my eyes and get off.

9. I love crossdressing men. I blame Tim Curry for this, since I first saw Rocky Horror Picture Show when I was about ten. One of my favorite things to fantasize about is a man in panties or a skirt. This is the only situation I could ever find myself dominant in with a man, actually. I recently found photos of this one actor that I find incredibly hot and he was wearing a kilt, stockings, and biker boots. Let's just say I retired to my bed for a little bit.

10. In case you haven't noticed, I have some body issues, which sometimes make sex difficult (not only finding it, but enjoying it). I'm a fat girl with small breasts and a big ass who loves sex. I can't find someone who'll have the kind of relationship I want with me, one where I'm submissive. I want to get married and have kids someday, but I just have this feeling that I'm going to be single until the day I die. The only guy I've ever met who's been okay with my size (and I don't mean fat as in a size 14, I mean fat as in a size 28) is my current boyfriend. But he compares me to his ex in many ways, which is something I can't overlook.

11. My boyfriend compares my blowjobs, the way I ride, my sexual adventurousness, my cooking, and my age to his ex. He's eight years older than me. They were together for twelve years and just broke up nine months ago. Six months later, he met me. I know you can't get over a twelve-year relationship in just a few months, but if he's not ready for a relationship, he shouldn't be in one. Especially not if he's going to recommend that his ex teach me how to suck his dick. As I mentioned above, he makes no effort to please me in bed, but I make the effort to please him. It's a very one-sided relationship, which is one of the other reasons I'm thinking about ending it.

12. I have no problem with giving head. I actually enjoy it, as long as the guy is clean. However, I'm not very good at it. I've slept with six people, but only one has been more than twice, and that's my current boyfriend. On the flip side, I don't like receiving oral. Maybe it's because the guys who've done it to me haven't been very good at it, either, I don't know, but I just don't like it. It doesn't do anything for me. I lay there thinking, "Okay, this is stupid, just stick your dick in me and fuck me."

13. My favorite position is doggy style. There's just something so hot to me about sticking my ass in the air and my head down and just taking it. With my size, it's one of the easiest positions to do, too, which is always a plus. It also frees up my ass for smacks, if my partner is so inclined. I wish my boyfriend would take the fucking sledgehammer hint. I mean, come on, when your partner is literally ASKING you to spank her and her favorite position is on her hands and knees, wouldn't you do it?

14. The stupidest thing I have ever done was going out with a guy I'd met on OK Cupid. We'd talked for about half an hour and then went out for lunch. We wound up in a park near my house making out, and then on the walking path next to the river. It was very secluded. I'd just met this guy. All I could think was "I'm going to end up dead in the river." I know not everyone on the internet is like that, but he just weirded me out so much. It was the first and only time I ever ignored my instincts. Nothing happened, but there was just something about him that made me extremely uncomfortable.

15. I love to fantasize. One of my favorite fantasies (that doesn't involve spanking) takes place on the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney World. It's very easy to tease a guy on that ride, since it's a dark ride and you and your partner are alone in the ride vehicle. Just drape a jacket over his lap and slip your hand under. I've never done this, but I want to one day.

16. I used to work at a hotel as a housekeeper and, while cleaning a vacant room, was fantasizing about something. I don't remember what. I got so turned on that I laid down on the stripped bed and got off. I was so terrified that my manager would come looking for me, which added to the thrill of masturbating at work. Once I was done, I washed my hands and changed the mattress pad (just to be safe, since we normally didn't change them) before making up the bed.

17. I have a thing for older men. It started when I was about 13 or so and first started watching The X-Files. I developed a major crush on Nicholas Lea, the guy who played Alex Krycek, which I have to this day. I find age play and daddy play fascinating, but most of the guys I've been with have found any level of kink creepy.

18. In the stories I write, there's a lot of kink. Sometimes it's just one character getting spanked, other times it's more intense. It depends on the mood I'm in. I've noticed that if I'm in a bad mood, my stories tend to have darker kink. I like to create worlds where kink is the norm.

19. I love to be fingerfucked. One of the guys that I was with fisted me during our night together and it was just incredible. I want to try it again sometime soon.

20. For a long time, I thought that my submissive nature meant that I wanted what most people think of when they think of a BDSM relationship. I've recently discovered that it's not what I want. What I want is similar, but still different. It's less about the leather and more about the emotional underpinnings that you'll find in the relationship. I do think that part of the reason I really started thinking about it is because of my ex. We had a mild BDSM relationship. He'd have me kneel at his feet for long periods of time, like if we were watching TV or something. Unfortunately, I have old ankle and foot injuries from being a klutz while growing up (I sprained my left ankle by falling through a missing step on the back stairs, and I sprained my right foot by tripping over the other one). He didn't like it when I finally told him I couldn't kneel anymore, and said I wasn't a good sub. We did ease up on the BDSM aspect of our relationship, but we also broke up not long after that.

21. I have a tendency to develop a crush on someone just if they're nice to me. As I'm sure anyone can see, I have some self-esteem issues that I'm working on. They've been prevalent my whole life. For a while, I used sex as a way to get people to like me. The first guy I ever did anything with other than kiss, I was 20 and it was just a topless handjob. He tried to pressure me into more, but I didn't let him. I didn't like him enough to want him to like me.

22. With all of my kink-positive attitude and all of my fetishes, there is only one (legal) fetish that really bothers me. I don't care if other people do it, I really don't, but I don't want to see it or think about it or hear about it. Furries creep me out like crazy. As I said, I don't care what other people do in their own lives, but that's something I could never consider, even in my writing. It just bothers me for some reason. The bad thing? I think my boyfriend is a furry.

23. Even though I'm right handed, I use my left to masturbate. I don't know why, but I've always done that and I actually can't get off with my right hand.

24. I should just buy stock in Energizer and a sex toy company, seriously. I burn through batteries and vibrators very quickly and then have to buy more. I tried rechargeable batteries, but they didn't last very long.

25. I don't like labels when it comes to gender and sexuality, since I feel that so much of it is so fluid. I'm biologically and psychologically female, but as for who I want to love? I just like personalities. My entire sexual history has been hetero, and I haven't kissed a girl since high school, but I would love to go to bed with a girl. I actually have a pretty big crush on a friend of mine (not my best friend as mentioned in #1, another friend) and we constantly joke about screwing each other, but I don't know if she realizes I'm not kidding. Yet, when I masturbate, most of what I think about is the male body. I dunno. I just like sex.