Saturday, March 12, 2011

1. I'm a thirty-year-old, highly sexual woman who hasn't yet reached my full potential, sexually speaking, but am determined to do so in this new decade I've entered - preferably on the earlier end!

2. What I mean by this is that I'm currently more adventurous and sex-positive in my thought than in my action - though I do hope to remedy this. I need to find someone who matches my sex drive and kinkiness in order to live up to this potential, I feel.

3. I'm currently in a 4-year monogamous relationship with a partner with whom I'm lucky to share great chemistry, but who is no match for my sex drive and my interest in sexual experimentation.

4. I ultimately don't believe in monogamy - at least not for me. I've expressed this to my partner (the only right thing to do, I feel) and have essentially told him that I intend to engage in sexual exploration with others - and of course he's welcome to do the same.

5. I haven't yet taken the plunge, though, in terms of pursuing a relationship outside of my primary one. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that my partner is clearly not totally comfortable with the idea of us opening up our relationship. At the same time, he's not standing in the way, which I appreciate. I think I need to be brave and proactive. I need to be true to myself, and monogamy is not for me.

6. At the ripe old age of 29, I realized that I'm attracted to women in addition to men - wow! This has added a whole new dimension to my sexual self. When I do finally explore a relationship outside of my primary one, I have a feeling it's going to be with a woman. And in the meantime, it's fun to let my imagination run wild.

7. Another exciting development at the age of 29 is that I learned how to give myself "real" orgasms - not just little wimpy ones, but nice, fulfilling, powerful ones just as good as I've had with any partner - and I've learned how to ride them out - good times! The only challenge is making time to make orgasms - must build into my schedule!

8. I love reading books and blogs about sex by authors who share my sex-positive views. Betty Dodson is one of my (s)heroes! (If you don't know about her, check her out).

9. More recently, I have added images to my repertoire of sexual outlets. The gender/gender combination of the person/people in the image doesn't seem to impact whether or not it turns me on.

10. Even writing this right now is turning me on as I think of things that turn me on! I'm guessing this must be the case for others who have submitted their "25 things." Hm, maybe writing will become another sexual outlet? But sooner than later, I need to have more sex as a sexual outlet too.

11. Breasts! I've noticed that each of my lovers has loved my breasts, and I love them too. My nipples might be my most erogenous zones - or at least right up there with my clit. Though better yet is having them both stimulated at the same time - woohoo!

12. Breasts are also by far my favorite part of other women--at least visually-speaking. Though the first woman I was attracted to, I fantasized more about her vulva than her breasts. But by the second woman, my focus was back on her breasts. And it's definitely the breasts that turn me on when looking at sexual images of women. Will have to report back when I actually hook up with a female.

13. As far as men go, I'm amused by the fact that I've come into contact with a diverse array of dicks - African, Asian, Latino, and Anglo - diverse in terms of shapes and sizes too.

14. My current partner is uncircumcised, and I find that fun.

15. I've come to prefer uncircumcised dicks and would definitely opt not to circumcise my son if I were to have one.

16. My newfound interest in women has made me far more aware of and interested in queer issues. I can't believe how unconsciously heteronormative I was in my thinking up until recently, despite being 100% for LGBTQ rights in principle and in politics. I've been learning a lot about gender and sexuality and gender identity these days, and am interested in exploring these issues further.

17. At the same time, as a person who easily passes as "straight"/'heterosexual," I feel cautious/confused about labeling myself otherwise. Do I have the "right" to consider myself queer, when I have never had to face discrimination due to my sexuality?

18. I seem to have quite an accurate "gaydar," so to speak.

19. Can I just say one more time that I love and appreciate my nipples? And those of others too! Seeing nipples being sucked on is an automatic turn-on. Never fails!

20. I actually did sort of have a sexual experience with another woman as an adolescent - we played with each other's breasts. Not sure how much this "counts." (Though who's counting, anyway?) I'm pretty positive that I didn't feel attraction to her. But I like how she made me feel and of course was willing to reciprocate. This was my first sexual experience.

21. As far as men's bodies go, I like that little area between the thigh and the hip - to each side of the pubic area - not sure if it has a name.

22. I wish this were a much more sexually open world. Being into the idea of open relationships and feeling this fluidity in terms of attraction to both men and women makes me feel like a sort of outcast. Luckily, there seem to be enough other "outcasts" out there to not feel isolated. Ultimately I don't really care. It's just annoying and stupid how uptight most of society acts when it comes to sex.

23. When you get right down to it, I bet that my views and feelings about sex are probably shared by many, yet this is a society that thrives on sexual repression and denial. Therefore, I find myself in the "minority."

24. Because communicating about sex tends to be pretty taboo, I welcome all outlets I can get.

25. One thing that probably makes me a good sexual partner is that I'm turned on by turning on my partner. The more they moan and groan, the better. And I like good communication in sex.