Wednesday, March 23, 2011

1. I entered my fourth decade a little while ago. While I've thought for a long time that I would never get married, I thought I would have had at least a few more relationships by now. I've been semi-attached for a grand total of 13 months in my entire life.

2. I've known for as long as I can remember that I like girls as well as boys (I'm female). It was never an aspect of myself that I felt wrong or confused about. I don't publicise it very much, but I will talk about it openly if it comes up in conversation.

3. I worked out how to arouse myself from a really young age. I remember being in about year 1 at school and rubbing myself against the monkey bars. I told the year 6 girls it was called the butterfly dance.

4. My first sexual experiences with other people were with my younger sister and cousins. I think I was about 9 and my sister was 7. It was pretty full-on stuff over a few years. We've never spoken about it since. I wonder if she ever thinks about it.

5. The thought of incest is actually still a bit of a turn-on for me. I used to fantasise that I had a twin brother and that we slept together all through our adolescent years.

6. The neighborhood kids used to fool around a bit too (all under the age of 10). I actually don't remember everything that happened. I know there was definite finger penetration, but whether it went beyond that, it is just very elusive in my mind.

7. I somehow lost the ability to finger myself from maybe about 11-16. I remember prior to that being able to get multiple fingers, Barbie dolls, etc, inside myself, then it was just like I stiffened up and couldn't even get one finger in for years.

8. Everyone else had boyfriends except me during high school. I felt like a bif of a social 'tard (still do sometimes). They were all starting to have sex and I hardly even kissed anyone unless it was through spin the bottle or something like that.

9. It was pretty similar after school, maybe because I was already a bit behind. Other people were going out drinking and having casual sex, but it just didn't seem right for me. It wasn't like I thought saving your virginity was important, but it would have been nice for it to be kind of special.

10. I was 19 when I gave my first blow job. It was 5 days into a group holiday with 15 friends. I had a crush on one of the guys and at the end of a bottle of vodka decided I should just go for it. We were going for it in the hotel pool and I didn't realise that some of our friends could see everything out the window of the hotel room. He told me he didn't believe it was my first time. He wouldn't return the favour... said "he didn't go down on chicks." It was like a slap, and the humiliation of that whole episode stuck with me a long time.

11. I give good head. I know that sometimes it's just a thing that guys say, but I can tell by what they don't say that I'm doing it right. I like giving head (to males and females).

12. I started taking drugs when I was 20. It opened up a whole new world for me and completely changed my social circle. I met my first boyfriend when I was 21, but we didn't actually get together until about 6 months later, after he had moved interstate. We had sex the first weekend we spent together. I didn't orgasm that first time, but I did several times over the weekend. I wasn't in love. I thought I was later, but I'm sure it was just lust. As far as first times go, it was pretty sweet. We had a lot of laughs.

13. I still fantasise about his cock sometimes. I don't care that much for size generally, but his was great-looking.

14. I've slept with a couple of my friends' ex-boyfriends. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe because I get off on the idea of things I can't have.

15. The first girl I slept with was the ex-girlfriend of my first boyfriend. She came on to me after we went out drinking one night and I was crashing at her place. It didn't even occur to me to say no. It was such a different experience, just bringing each other to orgasm over and over again. Thinking about it now is making me wet.

16. That same week I had my first threesome (MFF). It was with a couple I'd known for a while. I'd always suspected I was a bit of a voyeur. Watching the two of them fuck confirmed it. I love, love having multiple people in the bed. I was third party to their relationship for several years until we amicably decided to move on. I learned a lot about technique, communication and relationships in general from that situation.

17. I'd really love to have a MMF threesome. They don't necessarily have to be up for sleeping with each other, though that would be a definite bonus. I like men who are comfortable enough with their sexuality not to be homophobic.

18. During the second sort-of relationship I had, I slept with other people. I never told him and we are still friends. He deserved a whole lot more than I could give at the time (that's probably just an excuse for poor behaviour on my part). The sex we had was not earth-shattering, so that was a deal-breaker anyway. Sexual compatibility is very high on my priority list.

19. I had a fivesome once. I walked in on some friends fooling around at a party and somehow ended up with my clothes off. I wish that would happen more often.

20. I've slept with 11 people (8 guys, 3 girls). Apart from number 11, I know the first and last name of all of them. Number 11 was my first true one-night stand. There are other people I've slept with only once, but I knew them before or stayed in contact after.

21. I've never faked an orgasm. I don't see the point.

22. I have masturbated in every place I have worked.

23. I can bring myself to orgasm in under 30 seconds. Most of the time I just rub my clit. I think it's a little bit out of laziness. I have to work harder and it's messier if I finger myself.

24. I recently masturbated while driving at 110km/hr on the highway. I saw stars when I came.

25. I haven't had sex in over 2 years. I feel quite torn between whether I really would like to keep sex as something reasonably special and the fact that sometimes I just ache with the need for it. Sleeping with randoms doesn't really do it for me. About 90% of sex is mental for me, which usually translates into being attracted to friends. Everyone seems to be getting married/partnered up at the moment, and it's pretty difficult to meet people when you aren't really outgoing. I'd like to think that I will meet someone soon who pushes my buttons intellectually, as well physically, but it doesn't really seem likely. I could write a whole other post on 25 things about my love life to explain the reasons behind that.