Friday, March 25, 2011

1. I'm an 18 year old genderqueer girl. On the oustide, I'm a woman, but my mind is more of a man. Some days I feel like a boy, others a girl. It's not too noticeable, though. Boy days are filled with male Abercrombie flannels and skinny jeans with Converse, while girl days are skinny jeans and tank tops and boots. I'm very fluid. I have always felt more like a man than a woman, but I know being a woman is still a part of me.

2. I consider myself heteroflexible. I usually go for men, but there are some girls that are just... yeah. I thought I was bi, but the word never felt right for me.

3. I've thought of binding, but I'm a little scared of what everyone would think. (I know, so lame.) Luckily my big men's shirts and flannels cover up my breasts fairly well.

4. I have a male name for my more boyish days, but I've never told anyone (they know I'm flexible and queer, but I'm still working up my confidence). It's Gabe. Gabriel.

5. I have a thing for collarbones. I don't know why, but really nice, defined collarbones make me want to sink my teeth into them, lick them, suck them, absolutely ravish them.

6. I don't know how women got such a reputation for not liking porn, because I love it. My favorites are just watching women go solo, whether it's their fingers or a toy, I find it so hot. And the noises. I could just close my eyes and listen for hours.

7. I've had two boyfriends. My first was when I was fifteen. He gave me my first kiss and my first grope to my boobies before cheating on me and leaving me in the dust. The other wasn't really official. We made out at a party and went to the movies together and made out in the backseat of his car. I kept trying to make out with him a lot, but but he kept stopping to talk. He got clingy and I dumped him. He gave me the first time I dumped someone and the first time I gave a man a boner.

8. I have a fantasy about being slammed against the wall and having the breath kissed out of me, then have my skirt flipped up and being eaten out until I'm so sensitive it's almost painful. I want to be ravished and ravish someone in return.

9. Masturbation! I mentioned porn and didn't mention this! I don't think I've had an orgasm, but I just enjoy the pleasure and where it takes me, orgasm or not. And I like the way I taste.

10. I am horny. I'll admit it. I'm horny a lot. I have a crazy sex drive.

11. I love my breasts. They are beautiful. They are just the right size to bust out of a top or hide under flannel. (Have you noticed I love flannel yet?)

12. I have made a promise to myself not to have sex until I'm ready. If that's not till marriage, fine. If it's tomorrow, cool. I just want to be ready.

13. I'm not sure I'd make a good monogamous partner, but I'll try. There's just so many beautiful people out there!

14. My all time fantasy is to just be fucked lovingly and intimately. That's totally lame, but I want intimacy. Just fucking so hard and so good you never want to stop and the person under or above you is the only thing you can think of or see or hear and you need them everywhere and you are just rocking together and holding on for dear life at the brink and it is perfect. I want that someday.

15. I am a feminist and I am sex positive. I see nothing dirty or bad about it.

16. Music turns me on. I can feel the thumping bass, the guitar vibrations, the voice. It's all so hot to me. Musical people are sexy. Good singing voices are sexy. I think it comes from years in choir and theatre. Michael Bublé's voice is amaaaaaaazing. The first time I heard "Feelin' Good" I literally had to walk into the girl's bathroom, lock the stall and masturbate.

17. I want to eat a girl out. I've never done it before, but I really want to. I also want to give a blowjob. Again, I've never done it, but I'm intrigued.

18. I love kissing. I love the soft, wet noises and the muffled moans and the way lips move against one another and the way the tongues dance. I could kiss all day and never get bored.

19. Clingy = bad. I need space and independence in a relationship, and most of the boys I've met do not seem to get that.

20. I love dirty talk. I love how I can feel the vibrations of the voice near my mouth or ear, the way the words and the breath slide over me, almost sensually. I love hearing that deep wrecked sex voice and knowing I created it. Tell me what you want to do to me.

21. Erotic stories/fan fic turn me on. I'm really intellectual--I think maybe reading it gets me more hyped than seeing it!

22. I have a very, very, very, very secret fetish for piss desperation. Just, watching a girl (It's usually a girl in the videos) holding it in until she can't and she pisses herself. It really turns me on. And the noises. Little moans and squeals and oh gods. And the shame at the end. It's intense. I don't want to be peed on or pee on anyone or drink it or anything. I just love watching them absolutely lose it.

23. I kind of want a kissing friend. Just someone I'm close to, a friend, but we make out sometimes. I don't know how to approach it, though. I live in a very lily white, "look at the new BMW daddy bought me, we're off to the lake house, ta" sort of area. I don't know if those kids would be into that. And I would want someone close to me, one of my own friends. I have sexy friends, I'll admit it. I don't need an emotional connection for sexual activity.

24. The Brittany and Santana relationship on Glee is what made me realize liking some girls and being a bit more manly was okay. Sometimes my friends call me Brittany.

25. I once let a couple girls and a guy do body shots off me. I loved it. LOVED IT. Probably way too much to be normal, but I love it. I love the way the tongue feels on my stomach and the way the tongue flicks into my bellybutton for just a moment. It's so sensual to me, I'm a really tactile person.