Sunday, November 25, 2012

1. I am a lesbian in my early twenties. My gender is hard to pin down. I usually  go with genderfluid. My presentation is more feminine with tomboyish  undertones.

2. I'm a bit of an amateur porn connoisseur. There tends to be more chemistry between humans who are not paid actors. Outside of the obvious reason, I enjoy amateur porn because I like to dissect the relationships between partners.

3. Generally speaking, I prefer to watch heterosexual porn. I can never get past the botox, breast implants, and the staged atmosphere of male-targeted lesbian porn to find any of it arousing.

4. I sometimes envision myself as being in the role of the man while watching porn. This terrified me at first, as I thought it implied that I was transgender.

5. There is one video where a Black woman is straddling the face of a Black man, who is on his back, pleasuring himself with his hand. Their positions do not change for the entire film. She climaxes multiple times, and he ejaculates near the end. It's hot because it disrupts the heterosexual narrative that penis-in-vagina sex is superior to all other sexual acts.

6. There is one amateur lesbian video of a buxom blonde and slender brunette which is nearly perfect. I’ve watched it dozens of times over the last few years.

7. I climax more easily while lying on my stomach. Few women have gotten me off while I was on my back. I have to be incredibly comfortable around someone in order be okay with feeling that vulnerable.

8. I had sex for the first time at 19. It was with a 40-something-year-old Guatemalan man. Whether I consented or not is up for interpretation. I was drunk, and in love with a girl living in the same city.

9. I had my first orgasm at 14, while lying on top of a body pillow. I started shifting my hips, and it just kind of... happened.

10. Melina Kanakaredes was one of the first women I fantasized about. This was when "Providence" was still on the air. I thought I only wanted her to be my sister. In retrospect, I know better.

11. I prefer sex to be versatile. I like to touch and be touched.

12. I have been in a dominant-submissive relationship before. It was erotic at first, yet I quickly became bored with being shoved into the same role each time we fooled around.

13. The same woman mentioned in #12 encouraged me to enact a rape fantasy with her.

14. While my relationship following the one in #11 was incredibly versatile, the woman was the one who exclusively wore the strap-on. I didn't mind, as it wasn't our only means of lovemaking.

15. I deep-throated #14’s baby blue strap-on.

16. I have fisted a woman before upon her request.

17. I prefer clitoral stimulation. I’ve never had a vaginal orgasm before.

18. I am subconsciously attracted to women based upon their waist-to-hip ratio. I almost always go for the curvier girls.

19. Digital penetration is more intimate for me than oral sex. I feel like a woman could do more damage with her fingers than her mouth.

20. My clitoris is so sensitive that I rarely need direct simulation to achieve orgasm. All it takes is a partner moving her fingers against my inner labia. I do not like having my clit sucked--it always feels a little painful.

21. If I am control of a sexual act/topping my partner, I can almost always climax when she does. It doesn’t matter if I am being touched, or if I am rubbing against her thigh.

22. If I am ticklish when you touch me, odds are good that I’m still not 100% comfortable around you.

23. When I was eight, I asked my 13 year-old female babysitter how babies were made. She took me into her bedroom. I straddled her, fully clothed, and she kissed me on specific places, and I responded by doing to same to her. “This is how adults make love,” she’d told me.

24. That same woman has now aged, has two children, and has been divorced twice.

25. My masturbation cycles are erratic. Sometimes, I will have an every-other-day routine. Others, I will touch myself multiple times in a day.